DEAR MEN, THIS IS WHY WOMEN REJECT POLYGAMY - IT'S NOT JUST JEALOUSY
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2023
- Asalamualaikum, in this video I give a range of reasons why some women in Islam refuse to take part in polygamy. Yes jealousy can be a big reason but there are other reasons that I want men to consider.
This video is for the men who can't understand where the wife is coming from when she refuses to be part of polygamy.
Polygamy is not by force in Islam. It is a choice that a Muslim can choose to enter or leave if the situation is harmful to her.
As believing women we believe in it, we can engage in it if we want to but it is a choice.
There is wisdom in everything Allah allows so we as believing women should not reject it as an Islamic law but we should also know that it is not forced nor should it be forced on anyone.
By Islamic law, a man does not have to seek his wife's permission to marry another wife but Muslim leaders always encourage them to do so as best practise. Some Muslim countries have made part of their law that he must get her approval first to avoid problems.
A man who loves his wife and values his relationship with her should always be open and clear so as to not destroy the love and trust that his current wife has for him.
I hope you all enjoy this video.
Be sure to like, comment & share.
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Sisters, LET’S SHARE THIS VIDEO AND HAVE OUR VOICES HEARD!
Polygamy is the worst mistake i made in my life cos it has ruined me totally to be in a polygamy setting is not easy work I just pray that may Allah make it easy for all muslim sisters out there who are in a polygamy setting cos as for me I know what a polygamy setting is like may Allah grant us shiffa and patience ( Amin)
Assalamalykum sis, jazakumlahukhaira for this beautiful video. I think you should also make a video about how sisters can cope if it comes their way. Polygamy is halal and anyone could find themselves in it. Alhamdulillahi It starts with our orientation. When I watched lecture of sis yasmine mogheed about how to love. It made it easier. The same problem about sharing hubby is what we see in the cases of mother in laws. Loving Allah before Loving others and understanding if we die today some else will definitely take over all that we are ready to loose our deen for will make one understand no man is worth loosing your al janah for. I'm not asking women to put up with anything and everything but constant reminder of if and how things can turn around will make us understand and we can get through this with patience and not make rational decisions. I hope many brothers take lessons from this and stop discarding their wife's feelings. Obviously men in everywhere I've been enjoy this topic in their favour and immediately gets in defence mode when its discussed. It takes the fear of Allah for them to think right when in to it. The truth is the test of Polygamy is greater for men than women but society has made we women more of the victims.
Also the Incoming wife's too is another problem. Most don't give a damn about the first wife and even get selfish. A second wife should understand she made a choice to share a man so should not be ready to separate him from his first family. Most of the time the children are not even been considered in all the game and a child who can't go to bed without her dad now can't understand why she barely sees him.
There's a lot to this matter .
To cap it all if men are doing it for Allah sake their attitude is more composed and the wife hardly feel insecure compared to those doing it for greed. May Allah protect us from the evil of the society and not give us a burden greater than we can bear. Amin.
You started your video with a quote that is not in the Quran....the Quran says the best of you is the most righteous...
@@sma4301 Ameen. Unfortunately Nafisa here seems to be intent on destroying marriages and turning sisters away from marriage.
May Allah hold you accountable for all the marriages you've ruined and sisters you've turned away from marriage!
May Allah hold you accountable for all the fitna you have spread!
My family members used to bully my mum in front of my dad by jokingly suggesting he marry a second wife. This caused me to feel sick when I heard men talking about polygamy because I viewed it as a way of creating conflict between women and therefore enforcing control. I look forward to watching this video to return to Allahs wisdom behind the practice and the kind sunnah of it all. Barakallah feeki for this video, sister.
subhanallah how cruel people can be
Salam that’s cruel - I’m very outspoken and gobby in my family I’d definitely not tolerate such crap. My dad’s sister tried to get my dad who is very simple minded to divorce my mum . However dad stood his ground and stuck with us. Needles to say that aunt of mine - well me and my siblings and maternal side treated her like scum our whole life - total boycott. My mum forgave her in her old age , I’m ok now but I keep her at arms length. Non of her kids care for her . I protect my parents aggressively. Kids have a job too, if you see the abuse - call it out , protect the mother / father . Sometime parents need the assurance and help of their children
You can know go to those nasty ppl, and encourage their spouse to remarry . And remind them evil they did to your mum. Also use the Ayah in the Quran which tell about the punishment of those who scheme to separate a married couples
Dang now the Muslim women want to be subjected to satan and collect child support.
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
Popular male figures on the online dawah scene have made a complete mess of the polygamy topic, they focus too much on the male perspective, and when they dabble into the female perspective they immediately jump to the jelousy conclusion and wrap up the topic. I really like how sr Nafisa breaks down each of the reasons besides jealousy (just to clarify jelousy in an of itself is also a VERY valid feeling in this situation as well) and why some women will refuse to engage in polygamy. This video was much needed alhamdulilah, I hope it goes viral.
I hate it when they talk as if the wife's feelings don't matter and as if polygamy is mandatory, whereas in fact, Allah has limited polygamy to a maximum of four wives and didn't prohibited it completely because in the times of war many women ended up as widows with many orphan children (clearly stated in the same verse but they only take the part that satisfies their selfish desires). It's hypocritical how they bring the “context” argument for every controversial verse, but not this one. I was really pissed off when a dawah guy said “I don't worship your hormones” ; well, Muslim women don't worship your hormones either...
@@TobiramaSenju-ol4zbso, did the Prophet only married widows
@@aftabansari2010ablemajority were in fact widows and divorcees, only was a virgin. Unlike men nowadays.
Agree, just look at Ali dawah channel stance on it. The brothers done great stuff but the debate on polygamy is very disappointing. Very Male perspective. In some cases it does not suit all couples. No. People don't have the maturity for it.
@@sadafahmed9563 I'm not asking about majority or minority.
what she meant was the only reason for polygamy are widows and orphans.
A woman is tested when her husband has nothing. A man is tested when he has everything.
Not really because if he has nothing she can islamically divorce. And if she put in her contract no pologamy he can do everything but remarry
@@emma647Cannot stop a man from remarrying, that's taking away his right. A woman can give herself the right do divorce if a condition has been breached. There's a difference between taking someone's right and giving yourself a right.
@@emma647He can divorce too. In fact even more easily. 🙃
@@moonwalkerr87Allah has given a right to women to put in conditions. U can't take away that right.
@@rereraira4863 Read my comment carefully.
JazakAllah khair, I think all men need to watch this video and deep it.
As a man, if you can’t afford the cost of two whole households by yourself, you should not be getting a second wife.
If your wife still pays for some of her stuff, you should not be getting a second wife.
If you have arguments with your wife or some “irreconcilable” dispute, you are not ready to get a 2nd wife.
A lot of weak an immature men who are not ready for polygyny are sadly allowed to go through with it.
Imams setting these marriages up need to do more to determine no injustice is taking place.
Or maybe the father of the prospective 2nd wife needs to do better in vetting these men.
As a man, you are Qawammun, Allah placed you as the provider for your family.
The average man today has been sadly weakened, islamically, mentally, physically, financially
JazakaAllah khairun Brother for your comment
@@Mu_minah828 wa Iyaak
And if he can do all these comfortably, fits the criteria, he can go ahead, no complains, yes?
@@MartianTane yes. As per the Quranic instruction, he must be just (which doesn’t necessarily mean equal or “fair”)
@@CompactCognition true, and Allah also states he prefers one because He knows his creation. I've seen very amazing polygamous homes, but we always focus on the negative. Nothing wrong in a woman's jealousy, even Aisha ra was jealous. But polygamy isn't the issue, it's the Muslims.
Oftentimes polygamy is used as a distraction and excuse not to work on what is in right front of you, especially if the couple are experiencing marital problems The man's thinking goes something like this "My wife is making me miserable Let me get another wife that can make me happy" It's flawed thinking because at the end of the day the only person we have control of is ourselves No one and nothing can make us happy but ourselves Polygamy will never solve your marital problems That's like trying to solve an internal issue with external solutions when the only person we should be staring at is the person looking back at us in the mirror
That is actually better than just divorcing her. Better to marry another and still maintain the previous wife
@@sholay706 how come? If the first marriage is terrible the second won’t be any better cuz now you have to split the resources. From my observations, I see polygynous marriages end up with someone getting divorced anyway.
@metaknight859 depends, if the 2nd wife is wealthy then you are fine. People anyways divorce in monogamous marriages
@@sholay706 no aren’t cuz her wealth is hers and it is not her responsibility to spend it even on herself. Man you are the exact example that Nafisa is referring to in the video.
@@sholay706 okay, so let’s increase the rate of divorces with polygamy cuz people get divorced anyway right?! What a dumb mindset.
And the whole “sick wife” thing is just atrocious. Imagine being sick and now you lose support and gain emotional pain along with the physical. People truly don’t understand what they even say.
Equally when a man is sick/can’t provide the woman has every right to divorce him because of the fact that maintenance is a right. But I don’t think in reality most women are cold enough to leave their partner for financial gain.
True- but for some terminally I’ll women- they want their husband to find someone and take pride in helping him with that. That is an act of kindness LOVED. Y Allah (swt).❤️ May Allah (swt) save us from this, but I’d like to think that if for no other reason or time during my marriage- thus would be cause for me to accept it!❤️
@@mishmash7776 as a matter of fact women do leave their man when he can't provide.
women do this all the time, when the man is and can't provide they leave and he is taking another wifey not dumping her on the road side.
@jabbwumani7095 I feel that is sad too. I guess ot comes down to love and caring. I've stayed with my husband through his illness and the poverty that followed. I am 100% sure I'm not the only sister . But also I know the opposite is also true.
Absolutely on the nose. Someone who loves you will care about how their decisions affect you. Real men don’t stomp on their woman’s heart to get to another one. it’s honestly so sad that this has to be explained. If these men wanted to practice the religion correctly they would take into account kindness, empathy, and love.
It’s simple, if you can’t even take care of the financial, physical, and spiritual well-being of your wife, don’t take another one! They forget they will be questioned about the treatment of their wives on the day of judgement.
Smh. May Allah be with all of the women going through this trial. Ameen.
LET THEM BE QUESTIONED. May those oppressed and treated unjustly in this dunia be given full recompense in the akhirat.
Agreed. But you wo*m'n will also be questionned as to how you'll treated your husbands. Undoubtedly, most of you who will be in the hellfire will be there for this very reason. Allah is not biased...
@@thedecentcow ameen.
Yes in Islam most women go to hellfire because there is no place for them in Jannah where “good” muslim men will have each 72 virgin girls and will have super powerful and lasting erection that can only dream of on the earth. In Christian heaven you don’t need sex because heaving is infinitely better than any earthy pleasures
@@thedecentcow last time I checked it was yall in the hellfire alot.
My mom has this story where she basically says that she’s seen brothers want polygamy but instead of taking care of their wives, they have basically these women living off government programs and section 8 housing because these men barely had the means to take care of one wife and family let alone 3 more. Husbands must provide the life she was raised in and more.
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
A man just needs to be able to provide food, shelter, clothing, leadership and sex. Everything else is at his discretion, not according to the woman's entitlement
LIES ! It was Mohamed "who received revelations" about poligamy.@@hellfirejahannam7734
@@PolygynyIslam is a biased nd sh*tty religion I must say
Most of these men don’t bother telling their wife they just go behind the wife’s back.
Tell yall for what.. y’all gonna act goofy regardless
That's soooo evil
@@SheedLordBearsomeone who uses the word goofy definitely is not someone capable of fulfilling polygamy in the way Allah decreed.
Divorced women say that it is sunnah to marry divorced women. When the man says polygamy, oh no, what about the women's feelings, sunnah is out of the window? If we just say to ourselves, i will do what will make Allah happy, all problems solved.
@@freespirit7835y’all don’t marry divorced women or widows do you? That’s the issue. Polygamy is supposed to benefit women more than men. Yet men will marry with their whims. Not actual sunnah
This video is what all men need to watch at the masjid or at Eid prayer or something . My father can’t even provide for his kids and he’s trying to marry another wife, as an elder sister this traumatized me so much like you can’t even give 200$ to your current wife and kids to spend on themselves and you want another one for what ? This is the reason if I do get married inshaallah I’ll tell my husband up front , if you want another wife , give me my divorce because growing up with that miserable household I refuse to live it again
where are you from?
But what abt if he can afford it? If u marry a very well established man who has been working since he was 16 and now 40yrs old so has saved up A LOOOT. You will be looking out for ur sister who will not have to go out to work (at least reduce hours) and be a prey for men
Your father is the real deal.don’t tease him let him go for it.
@@VICTORIOUSAFGHANS227 no he needs to worry about providing for his kids and making them happy , not worrying About getting another wife 🙄🙄 that’s selfish asf and that’s wrong
@@justsayit5251 Kenya but I live in the USA
I remember a time when a friend of mine told me about his aunt who never acted the same since his uncle married another wife and couldn't understand why it was so difficult for women to accept polygamy. I told him to imagine sharing his wife with another man and asked him how it'll make him feel. He told me it wouldn't be cool and i said exactly. The only difference between the two is that you are permitted to do that and she isn't, but every other feeling is the same.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
@@Hellfire... Jazakallahu Khairan for the explanation😊
you're right, I went through all that, and after 4 years of effort I'm giving up and getting a divorce. They know perfectly well what they're doing, but they don't care because they're selfish, they're only focused on their enjoyment and they have no measure in it. My health is destroyed. I look forward to the peaceful and secure life I will build with my children
May Allah grant you ease.
Congrats, you've just ruined your marriage based on a yt vid. 🤦
@@Therebelliousprince001 why do you think that people around you are so ignorant ... I have been in the process of divorce for a long time ... and my husband ruined the marriage and I am just saving myself and the children
@@Therebelliousprince001 you know it is possible to live without a man ... Aisa r.a. was a widow for 57 years...and if Allah blesses me with a good husband, that wouldn't be so bad either
@@ajka7667 Okay. But make sure you have a good mindset. The fe'mini'st toxic mindset that chnls like this promote are not one to live by.
Polygamy was actually recommended to HELP women who are orphans and widows, and otherwise to settle political unease/to balance the gender-marriage ratio. And men are using polygamy only from the male perspective to satisfy their sexual desires. It's not nice.
What is the evidence of your claim
Maybe I'm incorrect but the way you're phrasing your sentence has an underlying tone of implying she's incorrect. And I'm sorry for my words here but it makes you look extremely ignorant. Go look it up yourself so you'll absorb this knowledge better.
What did you think the reason was that Allah swt made this halal? It's definitely not one sided and only beneficial for the husband to satisfy his needs 😂
@@iMitiga the problem is you try to refute this polygamy in a very detailed manner I supposed you had a PhD degree on it😄.
Matters of the religion especially those that have to do with rullings are supposed to be followed, sometimes it might not be easy I know. Just because is not easy doesn't make it wrong.
You again try to justify your point by saying it is meant for widows.. BLA BLA, I supposed you have evidence for that.
By the way is just a conversation, I am open to correction
Finally someone who get it
@@muhammedtrawally1798use your head,and you will see
18:00 OMG ! You just described my late father Allah y rahmou every time he had a new wife ! My dad's polygamy is the main reason why as a 39 years old never married woman , I am highly traumatized by marriage and polygamy.
Subhanallah. May Allah have mercy on him. Heal from your trauma sis. You deserve a happy and peaceful life. Don’t let his actions stagnate your life.
@@NafisasPearlz thanks sister, I have been working on healing but it will take time to overcome my trauma.
@@NafisasPearlzAlso sis Nafisa, it is not necessary to pray for Allah's mercy on her father
@@farahy5278Allah rewarded her for it and Allah knows best.
Farah,It is best to forgive and forget. Sometimes it is not best to hold grudges as that hurts you more and May Allah have mercy on her deceased father. Forgiveness sets you free and you can focus on the right things in life.
I bet you 90% of the men wouldn't have a seat for this conversation 😂, is so funny how they just misunderstand the concept of polygamy and call the first woman an angry bird lol, anyways may Allah grant us understanding and Iman.
Ameen
😂😂😂 you made me laugh. So true!
Sisters you are in the wrong religion, Mohamed wouldn’t approve your words, women are made to serve men until he dies so he be ready to meet other 72 virgins and will have an everlasting erection. You muslim women don’t get 72 handsome men in Jannah, sorry. Jus follow Jesus who shed his blood for all of us including Muslims, Hindus etc, no best earthy pleasures can compete with real heaven.
There’s one thing you didn’t touch up on that I think is a key takeaway from this. Men always want to put us through something they themselves cannot handle. Just the thought of another man so much as so looking at his wife fills him with anger and rage. But that’s not jealousy or emotionalism apparently. I mean men would literally shoot each other in the face if polygamy was the other way around. I say that simply to make a point. But we’re the hysterical emotional freaks because we get jealous and cry. That to me is hilarious because it shows you how men have such a false perception about themselves as these stoic logical creatures when they’re anything but that 😂 Their jealousy is supposedly “protective”. Ours is just there. So they can explain their feelings, but we can’t.
I’m sorry sister. I commend you for this video especially as I sister who has struggled with marriage a lot and just decided to opt out because it’s not something I can see myself doing.
For me it’s reached a point where it’s not even worth it. I value my space and tranquility so much. I wouldn’t be able to tolerate nonsense because I don’t even tolerate it from myself 😂
Clap lol, she said I don't even tolerate nonsense from myself ,lol,you are my kind of friend,I wish more women would have your brain,because it seems like a lot of these women are on leashes
Any time I raise this issue with a man like "imagine your wife was allowed to have 4 husbands" they don't think about it because they end it w "it'd be haram so pointless to think about" it's like can your daft brain not pretend for a second....? I don't get it. Men foam and get all rabid at the thought of a man accidentally looking at his woman's ankles in a passing glance let alone her being sexually with another man
Good Point. I totally agree that men would Go bonkers, they would loose it. But womens emotions seem to have no weight ...
Double Standards.
What you said at the end, it's so me
I chose to be single and I'm happy with this decision, I can't handle men selfishness, I'm not someone's maid , I'm not someone's punching bag, I'm not someone's property and I don't want to deal with interrogations and restrictions coming home from my work as a teacher , I dress decently with hijab , I don't need a man telling me what to wear and how to practice my religion.
There might be a man out there that's understanding and respectful of my space and the hardship of womenhood, I didn't meet him yet
❤️
I like how you presented the genuine concerns of polygyny. So many women pretend to be single for assistance and I have always said they are lying for resources that could go to other families truly in need of it.
This is a massive sin on a husband then as he has made her lie
I divorced my ex one of the reasons being he wanted me to go on assistance while he was working cause he didn’t want to give me anything or lose money on me. He only cared about saving for himself on the pretence it was for us. I’m not stupid. I knew if I got busted this man would never bail me out cause he had no intensions of supporting me. What I regret though is giving him a cent of my money. I urge women stop doing this 50/50 because u will end up the loser in the end. A man will come and divorce u or marry a second wife with so much audacity not knowing your kindness towards him for making living easier on them by working a job to go help him financially.
It has always disgusted me when a man practiced polygamy, and many of them cannot even afford a wife. A woman who marries a man who is already married is usually out of desperation, and the man is taking advantage of the situation. There are few circumstances that should be allowed, e.g if the woman is not able to have children or she becomes an invalid or she suffers from diseases. An imam should never marry a man who simply wants to take another wife without good reason to support the untamed desire of a wolf. In the end, the one that allows the marriage is the one that commits a sin for allowing the breaking of a family and the suffering that it causes.
And I bet ho'm'o'se'xu'alit'y doesn't disgust you does it?
You have no right to install your own fatwa upon what Allah swt has allowed. Your points are all invalid islamicaly
To be honest men can’t be fair whatsoever. They might be able to pour their money on their wives evenly, but they are not gonna give the same treatment evenly cuz they are naturally going to lean towards one wife and our prophet peace be upon him was an example of that, he wasn’t perfectly perfect, but he was the prophet, women were falling head over heels for him. We don’t want just money from men, we also want fair love and treatment which is impossible to get with polygamy, so if you want wives who are not gonna cause you headaches just marry women who don’t care about you.
So with all the wars around the world and men dying, who takes care of the women?
Great video👏 I think the message here is that men can marry more than one wife only if he can do justice between his wives in the way Islam teaches men to do. Otherwise men will be held responsible for it in the hereafter.
Exactly...which is really impossible for any man😂
@@m.a.8032yeah absolutely, nowadays you rarely see a just man who provides for his wives equally
@@m.a.8032How is it impossible? Justice is primarily in time and money. Surely a man can be just. Even a broke man can find a woman who wants misyar marriage, and then he can be "unjust" without sinning. Don’t make it mission impossible.
@@moonwalkerr87 it's impossible because no man is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. One little mistake and you have failed to be just.
@@m.a.8032 Ah, I see. So polygyny is actually haram? Only Prophet (bpuh) and the first generations did it right, right?
The prophet showed an example of monogamy in his marriage to his first wife and also an example of polygyny. Men only reference the latter due to their egos.
Not only their egos, but their lust as well.
@@daughterofpalestine7130 agreed .
They conveniently forget that in the prophet's time, many wars were fought that left behind more widows and orphans than there were men of working age. Polygamy sort of ensured that the many poor/widowed women could be properly protected and provided for, and given the chance to lead a safe and fulfilled life. In a way, it was condoned as an act of sadaqah - for the sake of Allah. But in today's context, most men just do it for the sake of... well, themselves.
@@daughterofpalestine7130Are you from Palestine?
Have you looked into our hearts to see the egos?
I have seen some men marrying so many wives secretly but end up having different kids. When the wives find out, they get a divorce but he fails to notice that he has no one at the end. The kids don’t know each other and no home in the end. Was it worth it?Having one home can have more blessings. So let’s appreciate what we have rather than getting greedy. Sisters don’t agree to be a second option in someone’s life as you need to respect and value yourself.
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
So it's a lose-lose situation then either wich way it wuda went. Damned if he told them and Damned if he didn't (wich in this case he didn't). But did he harm the women in anyway? Were the children harmed?? Was he able to maintain wen all the wives DIDN'T KNOW?? You women act like this is "acceptable" that bcuz if or at 1nce y'all find out that the husband married again, that sumhow thas GROUNDS to divorce wen not taking into account the factors before she found out!? If that man has not harmed you or his children not put y'all further into Debt then where's the harm?? But the true & real Harm is from you women who ABANDON the marriage bcuz you're NOT the ONLY WIFE or the ONLY one who had his kids and now wanna separate/estrange whole sibling lineages/relationships bcuz you dont wanna believe in the whole of the Book of Allah awj. You'd rather split a good Muslim Man's whole Household than to stand firm and be patient thru the ordeal of Polygyny. Thas wat makes me angry about sisters like that. Yes, jealousy is a real feeling and I'm not denying that, but wen a good Muslim man is doing his best to strive in the way of Our Prophet sawa and following his sawa Sunnah and you women impede or obstruct in justice of the family Unit then you do a disservice to your own Faith and Hereafter and might even be blocking a whole gang of blessings you CUD HAVE gotten if you wud take on Polygyny as a jihad against your own selfish Nafs on the Day of Judgement to be rewarded for. But nobody wants to talk about that part tho, huh?!
@@rabbannibey1128 Marriage is built on trust, respect and confidence. If the husband hides a second familie, where is the trust? If you can lie about something so major, what else can you do? How can I trust you with my life? Because thats what it is about, TRUST and RESPECT! How can I trust you not to abuse the resposibility and power over me that Allah swt give you? Why are you taking my chose away? Because it is MY chose if I want to stay with you or divorce you.
Marriage is partnership, US not YOU or ME. Your half of my deen, just as I`m half of you deen. A husband should know his wife, her habits and like/dislike. Ask yourself: Why is it so importet to for you to have a second wife, that you would rather destroy your marriage and hurt your other half? Who are you to take away my chose when Allah swt gave my the freedom to chose?
I`m not against poly but I`m against breaking your oath and lying. I`m against shaming women becaus of their choice. I`m against hurting your partner, because nothing hurts more then SO telling you that your not important or loved enough that the "temptation" of being with other women is more significant then what we have.
TLDR; Hiding your second familie is a lie and you take away the chose of your wife who is half of your deen. If a guy really wants 4 wifes then he can be honest before nikkah and tell the girl that. Why is it necessary to marry a second wife and hurt you SO?
PS; English is not my first or second language.
PSPS; It haram to lie🙂
Edit: Because I wanted to add more and correct any grammar.
Sounds like the problem here is that women are forcing him into hiding his own wives and children.
@@rabbannibey1128 It's always easy to say when you aren't the one going through the ordeal. Until you experience it yourself you can't dictate how a sister should feel or act when facing such a trial. Is polygamy just about the man alone? Do you think hurt only has to with financial or physical aspects? What about emotional and phycological hurts? Even the Prophet SAW who had Allah's guidance when he practiced polygamy the way it should be, what happened among the mother's of Islam? Talk more of people who are majorly doing it for their own selfish interests. As a good Muslim there are many other ways one could perform jihad or Sunnah not just marrying more than one wife which might even be a cause for earning Allah's displeasure when you do it in a way that wasn't prescribed. Some people haven't even completed their pillars of Islam that is compulsory but only want to do the Sunnah of marrying more than one wife. Actions, Allah said, would be judged according to intentions.
Recently in my country a man unalived both his wives because they wouldn't stop quarreling. He turned himself into the police and left his 7 children orphans. This coward couldn't handle the pressures of polygyny, so his solution was to engage in haram to "fix" it.
The reason why women are against polygamy is because we know our limitations. The problem is men don't understand their limits . Most can't treat one wife right, but want to invite more people to the party. Heck , some of them aren't even married at all, but still indulge in such fantasies instead of becoming better, more marriageable men.
Most mn can't treat one wife right? Can you swear by Allah that that is the case?
Is that why you're a le's'bi'an? Because only women can treat women right, right!?
May Allah curse you!
💯💯💯🤫
Salam sister! You’ve brought such beautiful light to such a heavy topic in today’s world. As a single Muslimah I understand how difficult it can be for a wife take on the duties, child labor, domestic chores, and even work a full career/job, this too can upset some sisters on why their husband would want another wife. A lot of sisters have been forced to be masculine unfortunately.
I love how you brought up how some women will not require anything from their husbands besides the honorary title of being a wife. In today’s world while being married does elevate both women and men’s social status, I’d argue that women who settle for less and only want a title of companionship will not be happy later in their lives. I’ve seen my aunt who was a beautiful wife, cared for her 6 children, raised them right, taught them Quran at home, now divorce her husband of 25 years because he had a secret family. It tore her a part and her sons do not respect their father any more.
I genuinely feel sorry for any sister or auntie that experiences this pain. May Allah ease your heart ache. I learned recently we must not become too attached to another human being as they are truly not ours to begin with. Also if we lose something not just death we can say “inna lilahi waa inna rajoon” to Him we belong, and to Him we return. Everything in life has an expiration date. Not to change the topic of marriage and polygamy but I truly believe in the west if women raise their standards, become educated in deen and academics, create their own assets, and pray for good fortune Allah will guide you through every loss or hardship with ease.
When I get married I plan to write this in my contract. To not engage in polygamy and if it’s done the consequences that will carry over. Know your rights sisters. This is something that should be discussed early before nikkah and have it written. If I’m wrong please correct me. Jazakh’Allah for this video sis!
You do know that it's not only the wife's responsibility to only do house chores right? Or domestic chores right?.
ASLM...sister ...surplus women..how will you solve this problem about surplus women....?????
@@abdulgamiedabderoef8628I guess some women don’t think holistic. Don’t ever think about "What if I become divorced one day and have trouble remarrying?"
@@purplelove3666Of course it is. Ask the real scholars like Sheikh Al Albani.
@@moonwalkerr87 and how many of these men marry divorcees? Majority marry virgins
An idea I found from RC Blakes is not to help the man to build. Men are generally not loyal and thankful, so often she will end up being resentful towards him when he later wants to marry a younger, trophy wife. I think women should require their husbands to be the man and provider of the house, as per Islam. Sister Nafisa is right, women require too little from men, I guess out of societal pressure and desperation.
Absolutely, some men can feel less of a man with the woman who helped him build because she saw him at his lowest. She reminds him of his struggle. When they become successful they go for younger women and splash money on them to seem like that “alpha” that he always wanted to be
Absolutely 💯
@@sarahosman9030 yes, exactly right. This is also why women should not be their husbands’ therapists. The men unconsciously start hating their women once she knows all his weaknesses, because everyone wants to be seen in their best light to others.
I love RC Blake talk,, very deep and thoughtful
You are correct. I watched the RC Blake’s video about that.
Hello Nafisa. I am not a moslem, but i have wondered how muslim women handle this. I have seen a lot of your sisters in my community go through this and are not even allowed to talk to anyone or non moslems about this. Thanks for speaking about this and creating a space for women in polygamy. Your voice is so strong against Ali Dawah and other Moslem men who shamelessly put down women who refuse to accept polygamy.
yes a lot of *Muslim* women and even scholars strongly discourage it like Hamza yusuf.
You’re not for the topic and your system isn’t working, who do you identify yourself as 😂
@@elijahwakati8639 system?
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
allah gave us the right to marry 4 women only if we can make it just between them and if we can't we have to stay with one , if a woman can't handle it, thats her going against the word of allah just like men desire to be with multiple women but we can't because we have to obey allah's words and go through the whole process of marriage , otherwise we will end up doing what these western people do and just be girlfriend boyfriend have 4 kids and never get married... or go and do adultery with multiple partners and risk having a lot of children with multiple women and ending with a lot of single mothers households.
in conclusion allah knows his creation more than anyone and he created men and women with different attributes and gave us orders according to those differences.
Thank you so much sister Nafiza for this subject ! My own mother suffered because of polygamy her in laws suddenly treated her so bad I am wondering if it is the reason why she died so young ! Unfortunately most people who practice polygamy have this primitive village mentality. I believe the smart open minded one don’t behave that way. As a French imam once said : we do not build a castle by destroying an empire !
You are welcome. I’m so sorry for what your mother went through. May Allah make where she is a place of peace for her. Ameen.
Sorry but in order to have an empire it takes several castles..
May Allah have mercy on your mom.. I am sorry about that..
Statistically- women in polygamous marriages suffer diseases and die earlier than single and/or monogamous married women. May Allah (swt) have mercy and reward your mother with Jannah!❤️
Islam is to blame! No other religion allows poligamy ! Only islam does !
FINALLY a perspective that's not watered down and flowered up. These are my thoughts exactly. It's extremely dismissive and disrespectful when men say the only reason that women have an issue with it is because of jealousy. There's so many other factors that just get overlooked and women get told to just get over it and it's so disheartening. Thank you for finally giving perspectives that are more accurate to what issues we TRULY have.
Selfishness is the biggest sickness of men' s hearts.
Very informative video, Nafisa. The female perspective on this topic is so often ignored or reduced to petty jealousy.
I’m Nigerian, Hausa to be specific so you can imagine that I’ve had almost no example of positive polygamy in my life. What I’ve seen is women having psychotic breaks because their husbands never told them they were getting married again until after the nikkah, men who are in their 50s and 60s preying on girls fresh out of secondary school and university, men essentially turning their eldest children into parents because they keep having babies with their new young wives even though they can’t take care of them, and households so toxic that one of the wives ends up dead and the other in jail for manslaughter.
I’m sure there are people who have married a second wife for the right reasons, and I’m sure there were more of them in the past, but in this modern era all I see are men remarrying to ignore a problem with their current wife, or old men remarrying for lustful reasons, completely ignoring the impact on their first wife and any children they may have together. My parents never participated in polygamy, and insha Allah neither will I.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
If a woman is developing psychosis because a man simply takes a second wife, the man is not the problem - she is
It's jealousy and possessiveness taken too far with harmful consequences
They say it has been reduced to jealousy, but all their reasons are beclouded by jealousy and still say it's not just jealousy.
Beautifully explained Nafeesa. Well done.
You bring forth all good arguments...but I could not stand him wanting to have another wife. Knowing when he is not around, he is with her, having sex with her. That would not only cause jealousy but it would certainly instill a hatred in me towards him. I have to give him all my love and attention while I would only receive 50% in case of one extra woman and 25% in case of 3 women!! And I understand God allows it when certain conditions are met but God also urge men to be juste. And I feel that most men do are not driven by justice when making that decision, but by lust.
This is a sensitive topic and thank you addressing it. I do agree that some men do marry more than one wife even though they cannot afford to provide financial support. Nowadays some men look for single mothers as they can just take their belonging and move to live with them. There are good and bad guys out there so choose wisely girls.
Just married 3 months ago and yes some of these men do think they don’t have to provide he told me you make more than me. You got it. Some of theses men need to learn the religion as well as we do. If you can afford to care for more than one wife and can be fair do it. If you can’t even afford the one you have then fear your lord.
Absolutely 💯 ❤
They want a traditional Muslim wife who can provide money 😂😂😂
So you are ok to share your body with other women, you will be his Mon-Tue wife. Do you have some self respect? I’m not a feminist , just asking out of common sense
@@catcoffee7958 😂 😂 traditional who provides money
Well, then what do you do that earns you more?
My respect for Nafisa has trebled after this video. She has so many points that I have always thought about but could not articulate as well in words without feeling triggered and angry about it. And no I've never been married or in a relationship and I would never see myself with a man who engages in polygamy. Just not for me.
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
It's not for any women, nothing good comes out from it.
@@rosemarie6347thank you.
Poligamy is for women who have low self esteem and no respect for herself! @@rosemarie6347
Me to
Dear my fellow men if you do as she has said please second wife is Haram for you first band foremost you should have physical strength enough to satisfy all the other women you have, you should have enough income to look after all families,Never change your love ❤for the first wife if u marry second wife you should show her more love than before, Never discuss matters with second wife
Second wife should be grounded never to attack your first wife and never disrespect your first wife bse of second wife Haram be a responsible man and take care of your home bills ,schfees, medical Rent etc your wife money is not your money you don't have a right on it
Dear men and women Fear the day you will be brought in front of Allah to answer all what we did in this World.
Jazakumllahu khayran sister.
Really appreciate you talking candidly about this matter and really address what’s at the heart of the matter. Thank you
Hmmmm I was on phone talking with my husband not knowing he was expecting his so called 2wives that very night.
I have distanced myself from that marriage.
Because I felt betrayed
May Allah ease your affairs my sister. You will get through this and thrive with the help of Allah.
It hurts soo bad very much it happened to me to i have 2 kids with him and 6 months pregnant just found out , i used to touch him phone but now not anymore he changes password like nothing i just gave up and left everything in the hands of Allah mey Allah make it easy for me coz its really not easy at all
@@iptihallalie8218are you still married to him?just a question
What ever decision you make,I hope it benefits you and your sanity,May Allah help you to make a good decision
I am a Muslim man, 62 years old. I agree 100% with the logic and emotions that the sister brought up in this video.
A man who is not fulfilling his martial responsibilities to level of excellence, should not even think about marrying another wife. In addition, even if he is a good husband but his wife sacrificed through marriage to make up for long difficult circumstances they had to go through, then the least of appreciation for her is to pay back the favor by protecting her emotionally and pleasing her every way he can, including rejecting the idea of marrying another wife.
If the situation is different than all of the above, then they can reach sone mutual agreements in regard to polygamy, if necessary.
By the way, from my research, I found out that polygamous marriages in most Muslim communities in the world, that last, are much less than 1% of all marriages. I think most men do not have the capability to have a polygamous marriage AND succeed, in nowadays cultures and economic burdens.
I grew up in a polygamous home. I lost my father due to polygamous. I hated it with passion.
Polygamy marriages aren't a joke!
How did you lose your father from him having a Polygynous home, if you please are so inclined to tell??
@@rabbannibey1128 he was there for her/him most of the time
Polygamy is a lifetime of pain. God didn't plan that for any woman
IM NOT MUSLIM BUT I RESPECT THIS WOMAN'S LOGIC AND MINDSET. THAT'S WHAT I LOVE THE MOST ABOUT MUSLIM WOMEN...
No respect,they choose their slavery. Women for Islam is like chickens for kfc.
Thank you sister Nafisa!!! I love that you bring this topic up. It's important for men and women. You have one of the greatest channel. Keep up the work! I'm so proud of you sister. It is so important to inform our muslims, knowledge is important.
Thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed the video. May Allah reward you 🤲🏾
Finally a video that discusses this 'issue' or how it has become an issue, because of the naivety, overgiving, and yes dropping of standards from women and the entitled, selfish, and narcissistic attitude of some men (who immaturely hide behind religious allowances without even wanting to step up and take responsibility as requested by Allah SWT).
The first step to really solving how this has because such a problem is for women to wise up, understand and put ourselves first for a change.
We also forget that the Prophet (PBUH) was loyal to his first wife Khadija for 25 years and did not 'marry over' her.
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
Well said. It is a selfish decision. l struggled for years with my husband wanting a new wife. l said get it together. Full fill the rights of your kids and me and then go ahead.
Allah knows best, do it the right way and l'll learn to except but don't come to me with this when your not putting 💯 effort in now to the family that is already here.
I said the same to mine, he didn’t listen got a wife and had kids half way across the world he doesn’t hardly see, made us live in constant poverty relying on benefits. Decides to disappear now and then for months comes back like nothings happened..I have lost all respect, my kids don’t even want to get married because they don’t trust anyone.
First video I watch and I love you already!! You say things the way they are. Thank you
I love this! You have explained all of these reasons beautifully.
Allah said "And seek by means of what Allah has given you the future abode, and do not neglect your portion of this world, and do good (to others) as Allah has done good to you, and do not seek to make mischief in the land, surely Allah does not love the mischief-makers. Quran 28:77
Nafisah delivers a very good message. MashaAllah!!
I have never ever seen in the history of man a successful, thriving, expanding, community where polygamy is the norm. Never seen where the children are contributing, emotionally well balanced members of a powerful society. What I have witnessed is pervasive poverty, disease community of second class citizens that are often criminally insane. I’ve seen the secret second wife and her mother, sister and friend planning to tie up the the first wife put her in cement shoes and throw her in the ocean. i’ve seen the husband partner with the other wife to steal the wealth and inheritance and everything, then leave. men and women doing black magic on each other. Everybody lying about everything all of the time collectively. Good reputation’s destroyed by vitriol and gossip because of jealousy. Even Aisha suffered terrible tears and a beating from her own father Abu Bakar on gossip and false accusations. Muhammed (saw) turned his back on her, because men easily believe and are easily led to believe the worst about one they even love. so it seems to me that polygamy is not a haqq but clearly a test. Only a test.
If polygamy was permissable for women. I wonder how men would react emotionally if his wife married other men for example his friends.
ohh my God, we are talking about the Deen which is ''ISLAM'' POLYGAMY is DEEN. In the way you put it, it will no longer a POLYGAMY but ''FOLLOGAMY''
@@salimceesay9301 there is an "if". An if. An if. An if. An if
Men would get so butt hurt that they would literally cry mama
@@user-mc1yd9bp5xlol men won't care ,so far they are getting that kuchy ,freely ,it translates 2 even modern relationships now we're a woman as more than 1 bf ,most of the guys involved knows very well but choose 2 pretend they know nothing so far they get it ...and secretly have a main babe aside ,men don't Scrabble like women do ...we look 4 solutions ..not base our decisions on feelings
@@user-mc1yd9bp5x That might be the way you want it to play out in your mind, but the real world results are very different. Don't let the Western world fool you, transplanting cherry picked parts of two different cultures and mixing them can be very dangerous.
Salams Nafisa, Your analysis is fair, balanced, and right! May Allah preserve you and give you success in this life and the hereafter!
So grateful to you for making this video it was much needed unfortunately the men feel they are untouchable when it comes to this topic they feel they have a right to take another wife no reasons considered. It is very complicated I have seen many abusive men take another wife and neglect the first wife and children. Then they will say they are performing a Sunnah by marrying another wife, by neglecting a fardh! There is soo much to say on this topic and men abuse this privilege. I blame the male scholars and da’ees who do not guide them and allow them to keep feeding this passion of theirs as that’s what it is
Thank you sis for raising the topic. This is my understanding of polygamy. So feel free to correct me.
Although Polygamy is permitted However it is by permission and not an obligation or recommendation in the Quran that a Muslim’s men should indulge in polygamy. At the time of the Prophet Muhammed (Peace upon Him) it was because thousands of Muslim men died in wars. What I don't understand is some Muslim’s men in the west want to have one wife in the west and one in for instance in thier native country.
From my perspective this happens primarily for two reasons. The first one is that polygamy is not legal recognized in Western countries. Therefore to provide legal backing to their second marriage they wish to have that spouse settle in Africa. The second reason is that most brothers from Africa eventually wish to permanently move back to Africa and therefore it makes sense to have a home and a spouse back there. Most sisters, especially from Africa, do not wish to ever permanently move back.
Correction: In the Prophet Muhammad's time (Peace Be Upon Him) polygamy was always there not just because of war. It was quite normal in many parts of the world. A lot of men even had much more than four wives. Islam came with new rulings to restrict it to four wives, so companions that had more than four divorced some of their wives and kept their favourite ones. In fact, there isn't a 'reason' for polygamy it's just allowed, but it comes with certain conditions (I.e each wife has their designated night among many other things)
جزاك اللهُ خيرًا again dear Nafisa
For raising awareness on this important topics ❤
Ameen
MY STORY 100%
There is a limit of SABAR and after 18 or more years of marriage you cannot betray financially and emotionally sorry but THANK YOU .
So you're going to divorce your husband?
Absolutely IA A 43 year old 6 feet tall man being extremely irresponsible and immature NO THANK YOU . I think I have had enough I thought I was marrying a man not a child . He needs a DAD who can teach him the basics of living a normal life . He ruined every imp moment occasion and event in my life and my children's life . I dealt with it patiently . I have had enough . He has serious mental health problems . I cannot be his psychologist anymore and my home is not a mental hospital.
Sounds like my story @@sarabibi7812
@@sarabibi7812I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself and kids, well done, you’ve done what a lot of women can’t. Be proud of yourself and may Allah strengthen and bless you and your kids endlessly
@@sarabibi7812 you go to hell insha'Allah
As a wife, from another religion, my heart goes out to Muslim women. This is a heart wrenching topic. I admire that you have tried to rationalise this and provide reasons aside from jealousy, but the truth is jealousy is enough to be a reason in itself. If you are unhappy and miserable, what kind of life will you lead? I wouldn’t even accept my husband having close female friends. Yet, you are expected to accept your husband having another sexual partner or partners. It is definitely a sorry state of affairs, excuse the pun!
The amount of adultery amongst the disbelievers speaks for itself.
With all due respect, you not being Muslim cannot comprehend our level of understanding. We have a different mindset. You don't have to understand.
Christian men have a long history of justifying unfaithfulness too and all they have to do to clean their souls in confess over and over to a priest. The purpose of multiple wives as I understand it was to care for disenfranchised women as a result of war unbalancing the population ratio and not intended for sexual conquest.
You‘ve made a respectful and nice statement, thank you for that.
I think, This topic needs a little deeper understanding that leads to an understanding and accepting opinion and the clear message in mind, that it‘s a choice for every woman, based on the right of free will without external force from anyone.
You should share with Ali dawa. He is so addicted to polygamy…😢😢😢
He is controlled opposition, a jin that us upto mischief-making
I have unsubcribe Ali dawa, and he's talking about lust, and he is trying to show that men have so much desires in womens bodies and which shows lust in men
@@asmaabdullah5481such negative emotions are detrimental for society nd needs to be controlled
@@user-mc1yd9bp5x I was under the impresion that speaking ill of another Muslim (any Muslim) is not allowed in Islam.
Thank you! Jazzaki Allahu khairan❤ The best video on polygamy I have ever watched Mashallah! I've downloaded it as well. May Allah bless you sister for such an input. You're very intelligent Mashallah!
You have made excellent thought out points. Very considerate and understanding, I must applaud you. Much respect.
RESPECT Sista! Very thoughtful convo that most Muslim men should hear. Unfortunately, they will not listen except to challenge.
As Salaamu alaykum ukhti! You have articulated this so well, everything that has been going on in my head for the past month you have described. Alhamdulillah! May Allah be pleased with you. Inshallah the men and women learn something by your video.
Allah humma baarik sister Nafisa! You´re doing real community work, mash´Allah! May you feel its fruits in both this dunya and after. I sensed some fear and apprehension on your part in the beginning. I might be wrong, but if you were scared, it´s not strange at all. The common sport for Muslim "brothers" (can we even call them that?) on social media today seems to be "Who can bash Muslim sisters the most?" Any sister who dares speak about this usually gets her video cut into clips and then they go on a rant to dismiss her and misrepresent her. Some amazing sisters on a popular Muslim TH-cam show got ripped into shreds by so called Muslim brothers, and branded as "kaafir" astaghfarullah, for even bringing up the topic of polygyny being used the wrong way. The men treating the allowance of polygyny as a FARDH just cannot stand any woman even breathing in the direction of the topic.
The common tricks and vocabulary to dismiss honest and brave sisters is "Feminist", "Affected by the West", "Past her prime" and "Misled". (Ironically, all of these men are sitting IN THE WEST with their podcast, living in Western countries, often on Western benefits and mostly craving Western white women as extra wives). Notice how they will never be able to touch the topic in a decent manner with facts. No, they resort to humiliation because they simply cannot admit what is happening in the Ummah regarding polygyny. And honestly, it seems like they don´t care. They will attack sisters´ faces, their age, their career, their education but...not talk about the topic at hand: Polygyny being misused WIDELY in the Ummah.
My apprehension was more on choosing my words carefully so as to best get across what I mean. I have NO FEAR OF ANYONE ON SOCIAL MEDIA for any come back.
I don’t enjoy drama, it’s an energy I don’t attract but trust me I can absolutely stand firm for myself and my views.
They are not my Lord so their thoughts or labels mean nothing to me.
Much of what you have said is the truth.
May Allah keep us all rightly guided and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us.
I’m a western man married to one wife and I have no cravings for other wives or mistresss because my only wife is more than enough for me. It’s more satisfying to have one wife that you love than having several wife that you don’t love all and have to force yourself to satisfy each equally. And how an average Muslim man can make 4 wives happy? Only reach can afford that, if you live in a developed country, you know how expensive it is, and I’m not talking about some lazy bums that make no money and blame the government, I’m tslking about men having decent and important professions - doctors, teachers, police officers, fire fighters. I don’t think Mohamed didn’t know that and made Islam convinient only rich men. Now imagine 20% of male population can afford 4 wives and marry them, that would leave very few women available for those doctors m, teachers etc, very unfair. And I don’t mention the pain that poor Muslim women have to endure sharing their husband with other p…ssies(sorry for French). Islam is not fair for non-rich men and women. Which proves this religion is a big lie . Allah is the best of decievers , first lied to billions of Christians putting someone else on the cross instead of Jesus, and after 600 years he lied to billions of Muslims.
@Crusader312 You are wrong. Islam is the First Religion that advises to marry only one. Marry 2 3 or 4 If you can treat them equally. Goes on to say, If you can't treat them equally then marry only one. Later in the Same Surah says And you won't be able to treat them equally. So what might be the equation of that?
For a good Just honorable man one wife could be enough.
For a greedy man Not even 4 wives are enough. What if a woman has children with a toxic man and ist Not able to get a divorce for whatever reason, maybe financial, maybe cultural. Wouldn't it be better for her to share the Situation with Others? This Kind of man, will have more wives anyway. Takes the burden off just one.
And there are other circumstances where a noble man May have four wives and Takes Just Care of them and Protects them and fullfills their needs. But that is a huge responsibility.
@Crusader, And how is it Not fair? You say you crave only one wife and then get upset that wealthy men May be able to have more wives. That does Not make any sense
@@user-se7gt4hi3g Sister, surely, you didn´t intend to tag me in the reply? I actually didn´t bother replying to his comment, because his username tells me all I need to know and voilá...I was right, judging from how his comment ended. Please sis, just don´t bother. We are proud Muslims, we know our faith and we´re not here to fight. God leads whom He wills. Everyone is going to their own grave, with their own deeds...no need to argue.
Thank you for this topic! 🙏🏾
I’m so glad I came across ur video(not that it matters to those men who r the topic here)I wish more men would watch this. It’s not easy to describe how painful n traumatic this issue is for those women who have to go through it 💔
Very nice video that actually comes with compassion. So many men try to attack women’s emaan for having these emotions, when there’s a natural way we were created as well as legitimate reasons why it wouldnt work for us.
I used to think that even though I rather be an only wife that if my future husband were to engage in it, I wouldn’t be able to do much.
After getting married my feelings changed and I don’t want any parts.
I think there’s a reason I used to joke that I wouldn’t mind being among 4 wives of mufti menk if he were to want that lol bc there’s a correlation with great character, compassion, and sympathy that can things like that easier to deal with.
But yea at this point of time, I want nothing to with it. I just wish to reactify my mindset about it so that I don’t transgress against Allah.😢
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
Great video. Honestly, as a Muslim woman, I HATE POLYGAMY... Not only because of jealousy, but I also don't want to catch any STDs' or STIs, my grandparents ( who are Muslims by the way ) never lived that lifestyle, and my mother never lived that lifestyle either. I'm not sure if my father ever try to pressure my mom into Polygamy even though he's Christian
u need to learn basics of your religion sister and whjo Allaah is
@@gcsparts I know who Allah is, that's number one. Two, I do not, and I refuse to live my life as a sister wife That's not me and it will never be me
@@gcsparts She knows the basics of her religion. Polygyny isn't one of the basics, nor is it mandatory. Stop trying to police how a woman feels and thinks about certain topics, she has every right to not want to be in a polygynous marriage. Which is why it is halal for a woman to put that as a stipulation before marriage.
@@daughterofpalestine7130 she shouldn't say she hates polygamy as Allah has made it halal. How can you hate halal as good Muslim 🙉
As I woman I agree, men don't have maturity for it and clearly is destroying marriages - due to their selfish desire. However, you do not get STDs from it, as it is within a marital contract. STDs is only through extra marital affairs and adultery.
Sis, You have put this so so well!!!
I'm a Muslim man, polygamy is useful is certain situations, however 1 wife is far better. Inshalla we all fight the right one
Also what I find very funny is most Muslim men don't even really have a second wife so I don't even know the purpose of this video
@@trublacking8572It's to make sisters hate/fear/resent brothers and refrain from marriage altogether so that the l'g'b't agenda can be fulfilled upon sisters.
@@trublacking8572 It's because of the muslim daees on youtube talking about how men are born with a polygamous nature (not true) and making polygamy more relevant than it actually is lol.
@@trublacking8572 Probably how so many people publicly talk about it without considering the women's perspective. If you look at almost every video regarding polygamy, it only shows the men's perspective.
@@trublacking8572there are actually a lot of men that bring this topic up to their wives. The topic of this video is on point
One wife is enough and if both know the right of their spouse and the responsibility of each other then that is the best. leave the polygamy who can avoid it. it is not for all and certainly not the poor (in Deen, and wealth).
If my husband wants a second wife i ask divorce immediately! He swears me thank want only me forever and i trust in him, but if he keep a second wife i ask divorce!
Protect your marriage and your husband
@@Therebelliousprince001 what you mean?
Another scientifically noted reason is gene pool diversification. If everyone married the same men leaving single men not only is this a problem for them but it cuts down in the diversity of the gene.pool so it's nature's way of helping to preserve humanity.
This is brilliant Nafisa thank you so much for posting. This is such a brillianr explanation. May Allah bless you always xxx ¡ Siempre vaya con Dios mi hermana! May Allah always go with you my sister ❤️
Thank you soooooo much. You said everything I have in mind when I see shows like “the bitter truth” talking on this topic. They are always biased and never consider the side effects that come with polygamy. It’s always the woman’s fault cuz she’s a clump of brainless emotions (in the men’s opinion). You should be there on the show.
Allah said "And seek by means of what Allah has given you the future abode, and do not neglect your portion of this world, and do good (to others) as Allah has done good to you, and do not seek to make mischief in the land, surely Allah does not love the mischief-makers. Quran 28:77
❤❤❤❤❤❤I felt like I was the one talking, u rocked it sis
Thank you
Thanks for sharing nafisa
May Allah bless you immensely sis. This was such an important topic and you enlightened all of us 🤌🏻✨💛
Let's start from beginning- Allah made just ONE ADAM AND ONE EVE.
SubhanaAllah!!!!!! This was a very good talk Sis this was so needed Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah 🤲🏾🤲🏾🫶🏾❤️
I agree with you wholeheartedly sister. 😢 I hear the pain in your voice.
And the pain is caused by the weakness and ineptitude of the men. Smh
Jazakhallahu khairun I feel like you took everything out of my mouth and made this may Allah (swt) reward you
Why does no one mention the affects of polygamy on the children?
Great question
Because they are selfish and only think about themselves, I have met many children who’s fathers were polygamous and they all complained and most resented their dads and complained saying it’s like they didn’t have a dad because he’s almost never around
Wonderfully explained my sister!!
You spoke from my heart,Thank you sis.May Allah grant you Janatul Firdaus.
At the rate that this happens, the court needs to put a cap, like you have to be making this much to have more than one legal wife, and the income should increase per additional wife. I think it would be Islamic to do that, being that equality and equity need to be established, and Allah had already concluded "You won't be equal with them" Which means just stick to one, instead of accumulating sins! Like honestly, stories are sad out there.
For a man to say, "Oh, you are jealous!" It just says that the man actually thinks he is all that (weird!!)
it is like secretly dont want to do it becuase they know men wont be getting their enjoyment as much anymore. shame on those men who fail to provide and may Allah give them the judgment they deserve.
Yes I agree totally that's very weird for a husband who fear Allah,.....to say that a woman is jealous ....well duh as women we have our natural jealousy....and it's even more weird when the wives tell each other that....oh u jealous of me ...or I know we have our jealousy moments like leave that alone
Listen,I don't have time,once he says he wants a second wife, I am getting a divorce,I don't have time to argue and go back and forth,you need to start thinking about your sanity instead of pleasing a man who doesn't care about you.
In malaysia, the court rejected 90% polygyny request because of financial reason
@@purplelove3666Even if he is just and provides for you and both of your kids?
Best video I have watched all year may allah reward u for speaking on this on our behalf
Ameen. Jazaka’Allahu khairan
You've dropped some gems…I’m still watching the video as I write this; also another point is men use polygamy/polygyny as a symbol of status to portray having wealth and use multiple marriages as a way to emotionally blackmail women.
A second wife was murdered by the first wife in my country, and they are muslims,its very sad.
I totally agree and I love the insight you offered in this video. I honestly don’t think many of these men deserve multiple wives. Many don’t know how to treat any women, let alone many women.
Sis, subhanAllah I feel like this is just great marriage advice in general. I don’t think men understand all that a wife does for them. Making me tear up, there’s so many things you’ve said that I’ve felt but never really understood the depths. I’m not in a polygamous relationship nor do I see myself ever being in one, you’ve spoke such haqq that us women go through.
Marriage is jihad for women for a reason. Jazakallahu khairan ❤
I swear you will destroy your marriage if you keep listening to such "marriage advices". More like divorce advises lol.
See, you already think you're doing too much and your husband, too little.
Having this mentaliy will cause problems in your marriage.
Unless it is true.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
As Salaamu Alaikum Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh, Sis. Nafisa...this is the most real conversation I've heard on the subject. I share the same position on all of the points you spoke to. Whew!!!!!! May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala greatly reward you. JAK 🌹🌹🌹
Ameen dear. I think it was absolutely necessary. Thank you for being here. Ma Allah reward you too immensely
May Allah increase your knowledge Sister, its a very important topic to talk about. Jazakillahu khayran baarakallwahu fiik❤
Thank you for sharing a womenz perspective on such an important topic.
Masha Allah sister walahi
This exactly what have been saying to everyone asking me why i am not married yet! Men have vacated their role. We have boys thinking that they are men. Ali dawah should listen to this video because he missing the point in regards to hosting debates on marriage.
May Allah bless you sister
Not only this but polygyny that's not legal doesn't protect the wife and family and can lead to less accountability. Women and children need legal protection and that is what legal marriage is for.
Legal marriage in the west is unislamic.
very true, bigamy is an offence in some western countries still so the other wives will be denying themselves of their legal rights and benefits to being married in the country. even non muslims know that legal marriage affords more protection than just cohabitation
You mean legal protection in Kaafir systems.. I got you
@@SheedLordBear The constitution of the United States is based on the Quran that all people are equal with equal rights. Allah knows who is and who is not a believer. In Moslem countries all divorces get rulings and make sure the Family is taken care of. I wish online that people would be acting on their best both anonymously and not. We should always have Allah in our hearts.
@@hhe5357 you’re out of your mind.. They worship Eysa Alayhis Salaam in the constitution. Just because they took a few notes out of the Quran doesn’t mean anything.
A man can’t take from one wife to give to another wife. This video makes me sad. Women deserve better men. Real men.
Thank you sister! My father did it and believe me it wasn’t necessary cause the other women wasnt in need of help and my mother didnt agree! It hurts like hell!
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
It hurts like hell because it is from hell... polygamy is a design from satan and not God. God's design is 1 man, 1 woman becoming 1 flesh.
@@ArmorofValorwere is the proof it from hell....so all the prophet who had more than 1 ,are all from all ,you stink of ignoramus
I need friends whos righteous like you ❤ thanks you for your beautiful message 🙏
Rightous? Are you for real?
So very to the point sister. If we are already coping with the bare minimum, financially and emotionally, how on earth can we deal with even less.
I feel my husband was engaged in emotional infidelity with the intention of making it into a polygamous situation.
His interactions with her took over his life, he even gave more attention to her children while neglecting ours.
Unfortunately there are women out there who have no empathy for the first wife and just want the man they have set their sights on, regardless of what they are destroying.
I do feel my ex husband has traits of a covert Narcissist and that this woman of his is also Narcissistic, my life would have been destroyed by the both of them.
I know you’ve covered Narcissism before, but would it be possible for you to highlight Narcissistic men who fall into the situation of polygamy with a woman who herself may be Narcissistic?
Jazak’Allah khair for your beneficial content ♥️
This made me emotional ❤thank you for sharing I can feel that you are so genuine mashallah marriage is supposed kind and protective if your man don’t care then he should not stay your man
As a first wife i have accepted polygamy and my husband having a second wife.
I feel my husband will be equal and not treat me any different after he gets married.
I feel like communication is the key and having trust in allah is what makes it easier.
But every single point you have mentioned is exactly whats going through my mind.
Would love to hear the positive of polygamy from your perspective and how it can go right.
Jazaki allah kheir for this amazing video ❤
Please don't let these vids negatively affect your marriage...
Adam and Eve, only one Eve. If look at demographics of most countries, the ratio of man to women is roughly 50/50. That shows that God want one man to be with one woman. Stop following Mohamed, he brought wars, slavery and sick ideology that teaches women to accept their inferior status to men so they should be ok to share their most loved man with other women. As a man imagine you had to share you most loved woman with other men - I know sounds unacceptable . Islam really makes people blind. Christianity is fair , it teaches men to love their wives like Jesus loved the church, marriage is a Union of One man and One woman, they become one flesh. In Islam wife is just a temporary helper, because in heaven you are promised much younger, virgin and many more wives. As a christian if I go to heaven, I just want to be together with my only wife.
@@Therebelliousprince001it doesn't
May Allah bless you sister
Foolishness. Good intended one man one woman, that’s his original plan. Islam is a lie.