Divorce Story | Soumaya Ettouji: Life Coach
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ค. 2024
- Soumaya Ettouji is a self-love coach who specialises in helping divorced Muslim women build a life they love after divorce.
She has been divorced for three years and resides in the UK.
Soumaya's Instagram handle: soumaya.ettouji
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by the speaker do
not necessarily reflect the views of And She Thrived.
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Check out our website: www.andshethrived.com
Salaam ,I'm a revert when I got divorce I starting wearing Nikaab , my divorce took me closer to Almighty Allah , , I make Duah for you my dear sister , all the best In Shaa Allah
So proud of you and happy for you 🤍🤍🤍
Ameen 😊
Aslm I can relate with you sister Sibhamnallah
I approached one sister in a masjid who was teaching Quran and told her a huge problem I was having. She told me "Allah loves the strong believers more than the weak believers"! I needed a kind person to just listen and she shot me down. She could have just told me some kind words but bc she had been through her own struggles felt she had suffered and needed to show how she got over it on her own. Apparently her story gave her "superiority". Always be mindful of the other's emotional state, you don't know what someone else might be going through or has gone through. She was kind too but her one statement from the get-go kind of overshadowed the rest of what she said and did. We were friendly for a while then I moved on from that to keep going on my path.
Yes. I ask Allah to grant you healings. 😄
I think by saying that statement she was trying to say you are a strong person for whatever difficulty you are going through. Is it possible you misunderstood what she was trying to say? She probably thinks those were words of comfort?
@@Fay17exactly what I was going to say
@Fay17 I was thinking thr same thing. I thought her words were comforting
Thank you so much for such an honest interview. you don't know how much I needed to hear this.
I’m a revert. This is one of the most honest discussions I’ve heard since coming into this.
Salaam my first time listening to you sisters. Great amazing advice from a real and raw experience and perspective. Much love and respect :)
The conversation is enlightening to me!! I also have anger issues, I struggle with forgiving!
Assalaamualaikum this came recommended on my feed. I listened to the first 20 mins. I am in social work and it feels quite tragic how the couple could have salvaged and worked on the marriage had both of them been ready to work emotionally on their relationship, including therapy for them individually to address their developmental traumas and as a couple. No one is really ready or mature for marriage especially at a young age. Emotional intelligence is such a huge aspect of a successful relationship. Qadr Allah the divorce happened. Alhamdulila the sister didn't lose Islam despite everything and Allah saved her throughout it all.
Usually a gut feeling means the woman knows she was not attracted to her fiance in the first place but went through with the marriage for practical reasons but then regrets it. But feels very stuck. If family is not there they will feel alone. Also getting married is not done without family. Sounded like in this case she chose her husband with parental approval but it's not clearly stated. Why did she need to be saved if her family is Muslims? Either way, there has to be common likes, habits, morality etc. Sometimes conflict is from the differences being too great.
You are absolutely wrong!!! Usually a relationship like this is a losing game. Because there is a complete disconnect. One partner is completely drowning and the other one is watching without willing to help her back up or validate her feelings or even trying to work on himself.
This is a losing game. The only way to win is leaving and letting him become someone else’s problem.
@@pure_essencebecome someone else’s problem the bitterness in these women and lack of accountability is astounding
@@MNuh-mq9vd definitely someone else’s problem. When a man sees his wife sinking and does not want to help her and in this case pay for her therapy, YES he is a problem.
And not her’s but now someone else’s.
@@Diamondraw4Realwhat do you mean “did she need to be saved if her family is Muslim?” You do realize there are many terrible Muslim people and families. Bring Muslim doesn’t make you an angle, people are still humans who are incredibly flawed.
A VERY PEACEFULL AND AMAZING PLUS REALISTIC HONEST INTERVIEW
Excellent conversation. Very enlightening.
Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu sisters! Your story touched me hard I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I’m so proud of you and so grateful for your honesty and bravery. It’s not easy to put yourself in such a vulnerable position by exposing your past spiritual weaknesses. I know people say we shouldn’t do that but I truly believe that instead Allah will reward you for your honesty and humility InshaAllah. Sister I recently went through a divorce after 20 years of marriage and I am going through a similar experience of self doubt. My faith is still strong in Allah Alhamdulillah but I keep wondering if I am not good enough or maybe Allah is Mad with me that’s why I’m struggling so much. I feel a lot of guilt for feeling this way too. That my faith is weak for feeling this way etc. So hearing you talk about how low you have gone and back this strong tells me to keep the faith. You inspire me, you give me hope! May Allah forgive and continue to bless you your daughter and all those sisters who are in our position. May Allah bless you with a husband that you deserve and give happiness in this world and the next Ameen!
You two are two wonderful woman with Allah's blessing. Intelligent, beautiful and brave. Your smiles have this brightness like the stars above and Insallah you shall smile both in this world and the other. Thank you for this amazing cooperation it is great to see muslim woman speak up their truth with this level of honesty. I wish you two the very best.
Soumaya ure the best. May Almighty Allah continue to bless you and reward you forever amin. After watching your video on divorce, I'm strong ever as a divorcee.
SubhanAllah this is so sad, but at end she is happy place AlhamduliAllah
Love you dear for your struggle and strongness
Very brave lady ! I salute you , my story is very similar to you , mashallah you are strong and wise ! Thank you so much for sharing , xxx
Assalamualeikum both of you, I am an African who has lived in Italy for 50 years, I am a writer (more than 20 books and several articles on psychopathological and criminal-psychiatry topics), I would like to have contact with people who have embraced Islam in order to understand in depth the motivations of their internal world. Hoping to find good feedback, may Allah bless you.
You deserve more than thanks as you focus such relivent topic for musalman
🌹🌹🌹Assalaam u alaiykum. This video shows that We are all Human beings, No one is Perfect, & Everybody goes through Different Trials in their Life💝It is nice of Soumaya to Share Some of her Personal details with Us to help us Benefit from it. Her Gentle voice and Beautiful Smile shows that Allah has given Peace in her heart. There are Many Souls who smile by the light of day yet weep by the dark of night that only you Know of. Grant Everybody your Love and Mercy and help settle our affairs, remove our worries, make Our faces radiant, Forgive their sins and let us all Enter Jannah with Our families and friends. 🎇AMEEN.🎆
Assalaamualaikum.. shukran to the both of you... I'm sitting with tears rolling down my cheecks. I feel as if Sumaya is describing my life the way she felt at certain times of her life.... we have so much in common.. except for one thing I'm still stukked in my marriage convincing myself it will get better... and I'm the crazy one.. and that I don't want my son to go through the abandonment I went through as a child due to a wrecked marriage. I salute you for your bravory. May Allah swt keep on healing you and blessing you... sister in islam... you are truly my Inspiration. Allah certainly works through mysterious way. It's not by luck that I came across your video on one of my lowest days.. Allah hu akbar.
Stay with your husband. Otherwise you'll be married to anti-depressants.
Conversation of our respected sisters from both ends, opening the real life issues specially in the west. Its why joint families are preferred in the east in general.
A well diagnosis is half the treatment. Keep it up. Allah Loves those who helps His mankind.
Masha Allah. Alhamdulillah. I see myself as the interviewee was speaking. She just gave the story of my life without a change. We will be strong in sha Allah. I am divorced also with two kids. Alhamdulillah Allah knows best. Thank you so much.
Plzz open a series on spotify
If everyone felt like the person they are married to Isn't for them. Most of the marriages Won't last. Especially women, their emotions change soo fast.
Finally someone
Thank you
It’s not like the person isn’t for them is a phase. Sometimes as a women you can’t invest yourself physically and emotionally with a person you can’t seem to like. You feel suffocated. Men and women are different.
It’s not like the person isn’t for them is a phase. Sometimes as a women you can’t invest yourself physically and emotionally with a person you can’t seem to like. You feel suffocated. Men and women are different.
@@litbrownies2849 Then marriage isn't for you. It’s not a game to be played. It has to be protected with trust and honour. Why would you marry someone with whom you are not willing to invest emotionally and.... Well physically. That's why men don’t respect women, nowadays. Get a grip on your emotional health condition. May God make it easy. Or just be patient. No need to rush marriage within a few months.
Asalam Wa Alaykoum sisters. This has encouraged me to share my story of my divorce on my YT channel.
Would you be willing to be interviewed by And She Thrived about it?
This is Soo me, I'm preparing to be financially stable before leaving so that I don't have to struggle much with my daughter
Man it was intense listening to this
The best thing you did was to forgive him and forgive everyone else , , don't be a prisoner of your past my dear sister ,
It is difficult to forgive but you do get Peace in your life, this is the only way to move on in life. You definitely need a big heart. May Allah make us people of Emaan. FAith.💝
Salam, I'm also going thru the exact things like you sister in my engagement and I'm only 18. And I don't know what to do to get out of this...
I am waiting for a new video of you
i finna want to hear hear the mans story
May Allaah SwT help all such daughters of Muslim Ummah
Lack of clarity and the idea why a women is not happy in a particular relation is the one of the biggest issue of this time.
Wow Sisters , This really hit my heart :,(
I think its important to know circumstances too, as its different for everyone and certain things make it harder.....what I mean is, first, did the parents have any involvement? Was he your choice or arranged marriage? Were the parents supportive?
Why was the marriage not working out? Was he not spending time with you? Was he not kind? Was he always out? Was he not praying etc and staying away from haram? Was he physically abusing ? Or not providing? Or not intimate?
Did he think the marriage was working or not?
So many issues.
I don’t think she has to go into detail. I very well believe we can take her word for it that the marriage was not right. We don’t have to ask for more than that nor are we entitled to knowing .
I'm a married woman and I think I need to pick up kickboxing :). MashaaAllah so glad I found this channel and so proud of both of you. This channel is, I'm sure, a great support for divorced sisters but it can be a support for married Muslimahs as well. May Allah continue to bless you.
Pls how can I meet you
Sister, your story is your trial! Qadr Allah! If you hadn't gone through this trial you would never be where you are today. If your husband didn't lose his job, if he didn't take the child away from you, if he didn't run away to UK etc then you wouldn't be where you are today. (Remember the story of Khidr & Prophet Musa(as) , and also the story of Prophet Yusuf(as) in the Quran).
In whatever position a Muslim finds him or herself today, always be sure that as Muslims our tomorrow will always be better than today, this is a promise binding on Allah, and who is more truthful in keeping to promise if not Allah Subhanna wa ata ala.
Subhanallah we need this in our Community 💞
How May I contact Soumaya Inshallah.
Walekumassalam wr wb
Assalamualaikum Marhabba.I love to my sisters.😍😍🌹🌹❤️❤️
Being Muslim we have to know the basic trends of Sunna which is married girl should be train to understand the up and down of married men and he talk something irrelevant then wife have to understand the husband responsibilities and it’s problem and wife talk later instead arguing then love will be attached to marriage and relationship otherwise two parallel line never meet and infinity end with disasters and divorce and most of wife end in hell fire.
❤❤❤
Wa Alaikum assalam
Studies show: Most of the women initiate divorce and lie about the reasons, men suffer mentally & emotionally & financially & kids taken away. Women after 35 crying, feeling lonely and wish they had a husband who can provide security & babies. But now they're old nobody wants them cause they were feminist at young age they thought will always be young but U R Finish- Muhammad hijab
Men just need to listen and take notes....how can I make my wife happy?
Work together at the issues you are having.
And tick them as you go along....
It helps.....then you will see each others viewpoint. If she just needs a bit of help in the house or with the kids, or for you to take her out sometimes etc, help, listen, tell her you will support her and be there for her. She relies on you.
Making a marriage work will require sacrifice and patience, it seems that the problems in her marriage was bickering and not connecting with her husband, most of the time couples will take a few years to settle and find a common ground - taking the steps to fix the marriage takes courage and forbearance
Her ex probably thought marring her would be permanent, I feel for the little girl left without a mother for so long, massive consequences for a small child
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the truth is most of the houses search who is earning good and much besides piousness. I would have happy inn shaa allah for getting a wife. I am 22 suffering from temptations, I am not yet earning. make dua my ukhta & ukhtis so that i would get married soon inn shaa allah.But we can afford till i would get job inn shaa allah. I want good muslimah may allah bless me with pious women aameen.
what did your husband did really that made you go that way? Is he physically/emotionally abusive? Unavailable?
This is a woman's space. If you want a male perspective go to one of the many, many accounts and spaces for you. How dare you
Subhan’ Allah, sis it’s not recommended to expose your past sins. Especially on a public platform :( I also want to say, sisters that have been previously divorced or newly married May Allah make it an easy journey where you’re firm on deen. Amin
I agree, Sins should not spoken about. instead individual repentance will be better. 💫 Maybe she has Good intention. even than not good to talk about Past sins. May Allah forgive all of us. Ameen. 💕And reunite all of us in Jannah with our families and friends. AMEEN.
@@rebeccasmith1305 If there is an intention for helping people by making them see that they too underwent extreme spiritual challenges and repented, that can be incredibly powerful and helpful to others... and God knows best.
Out of control bro , and as always victims 🥱
I wasn’t born into this deen. I’m not here to argue and I won’t backbite. There are stories when told guide us from a thing. She fell, got back up and asked for forgiveness. Since entering this deen I haven’t heard people talk w this type of honesty. It’s refreshing. This is real life. It calls us towards self love, love of God, commitment to the deen. Without hearing this what is one to do? She’s modeling a healthy response to a difficult challenge. Allah brought her through this and may her story guide others back to God after losing faith. 🤲
It’s genuinely so so sad to read comments like this. Islam doesn’t teach us to be black and white. It’s like you read something, follow it and not use your brain. This is not what Allah wants from us. If no one ever talks about struggles how will we ever be there for one another?
You seem like the person that they mentioned says “you have weak imán if you’re sad” the most u helpful damaging person ever.
Your comment and thinking is what is wrong with our ummah.
Don’t please her with money give her ur love and attention that’s what she wants
Sorry to say, the least, you and many of us dont understand marriage, in the first place. Its not Jane Ayer Novel. Its sometimes a test of physical and emotional endurance. No one seems to be there to tell you, the millions of trades and bargains it teaches. Try to learn the quranic wisdom of excersing patience and persevierence. And to top it off with a cherry, you are advising without the wisdom of it. You might end up being a muslim version of red pill or womens rights.
why is this on my recommendation, I am neither a woman nor divorced. Anyways may Allah help the sisters to not fall in any equality/independence foolhardiness to their own detriment
😂
The algorythm
Algorithm?
@@Diamondraw4Real yes of course, it was a rhetorical question
' I didn't know myself before getting married ' what does that mean?
That's the main problem with the message it's so vague, so its leave every women to have their interpretation of it, for some she did not travel enough or study enough is college is the meaning of this. Which is terrible advice.
Meaning that when you get into a marriage things and situations happen that might trigger anger, guilt, frustration from your past trauma and you project them into your marriage if she had self awareness at a young age she would’ve worked on these triggers and limited believes before getting married
In western world this you're and this my even after marige 😮
There is 2 side of every sory! I bet your ex will tell us things that are not true om some things you are saying!
So in a nutshell....u werent ready for marriage and the responsibilities, and had no idea what to look for in a marriage, and just wanted to escape your reality. And u were suffering mentally, emotionally, Islamically.😞😭
Alhamdulilla sis u got through it and look at u now masha Allah tabaarakallah. Experience toughens u up.
Would it not hve been possible to stay at your grandparents house until u healed?
In this situation, its so important to stop and think. Marriage is not the answer. Its not ur way out. It can make u leave Islam if u r not strong, and u can end up in a mental institution or commit suicide.
I wish there was a place where we could go to recover. I know of sisters who did the same thing, rushed into marriage and it caused lots of problems.
Its so important to discuss before marriage with your husband to be about his expectations and ur expectations in a marriage, so u r prepared and work together to make it work. He also needs to know you need emotional support and need to speak to him about things which have affected u in the past, whether it is trusting men, or feeling abandoned etc. He wont understand otherwise. Husband should be open about it too, as he will also be affected and might not know how to deal with u emotionally if he himself bottled up everything and hasnt had a chance to heal through his traumas.
WHO Ever grows up in western world there marige ok get marige even love and End is divorced unless thay Faire Allah and keep it no matter wat Dunya qalill 45cnd life comper to real life ahead of us forever
Any divorced Woman or Man go " Khula? Then to try seco d life, s partner. Its Galal Legal any ages age group?its ok to find other. Thanks Great respest for Good Natures .
Ассаламу Алейкум Сестра вы атуда привод нет простите вы где живёте 🌹🍏🌙🍐
Allah as made marriage legal so is divorce when it's needed but ladies stop watching movies and think reality is good as what you expected please you will get disappointed .my secret support is the Quran and prayers in time always helped me in my marriage and each of my problems and tests I swear it works by Allah and thank you guys for sharing may Allah bring ease to everyone Amiin and Alhamdullilah.
Ppl need to ask Allah first or they will never be happy js
So this girl decided to marry a guy she didn’t really like and string him along to get away from her “toxic” family, left Islam because she was angry she got pregnant from her husband, then started smoking and going out drinking...all this while having a kid! Subhanallah, is this who you want to be your “self love coach” ladies?
Stop judging and hating man! Allah forgives all sins, who are you to judge? So many Muslim women stay in unhappy marriages where they are mistreated in different ways all because the society puts them in such a weak position. They have no self-esteem to stand up for themselves
Our request is to keep comments respectful and dignified. We hold our community with a husn al dhann... a good opinion.
She's a free woman
Of course Allah forgives sins and people can change 180 degrees - but you're right, this definitely puts her credibility into question.
Would you reject the advice/coaching of the sahaba of the prophet, because some of them were cruel people before accepting Islam???
After sinning this women came back to the deen and now wants to help muslim women to not even get in that situation. What is wrong about this?
Open in question and answer you understand English tajam i know your financial aiking everything before sleep now in your financial distinction open
We all think its a punishment from Allah
So you abandoned a marriage because you didn't feel like it?
Where is your sense of duty?
Rizwan understand Dr Sabri in Islam everything okey insya-allah open no kalam Allah open going to do this oh no mp3 and this one Quran verse understand this one second first one understand this one going to say antis antis Philippine nabi Muhammad Alaihi Salam kalam Allah yang kedua everything sungguh understand sempurnalah everything today
You didn't talk about your childhood that was the cause of all the trouble you and your Ex-husband went through. Wish you all the good things to happen to you. No blame on your Ex-husband of what happened because he is also a victim too. In my opinion one of the healing processes is to consider fixing your relationship with your daughter's dad so your daughter can be raised between her both parents.
I fail to see how he is a victim. A good human doesn’t take away a daughter from her mom nor leave the woman he supposedly loved to fend for herself in a foreign country.
From what was said, none of his actions were that of a good Muslim man, quite the opposite.
Telling a woman who clearly mentioned emotional abuse that he ex was also a victim is really damaging.
@@Sarafara7 let the judge hears from both of parties and decides. We are judging based on what was said and what is missing. Coaching people and helping them to keep the family bound is better if possible. Thank you and May Allah bless the sincere efforts.
I truly have to ask did he cheat on you? what was the reason for the divorce? you two were arguing and your daughter started to cry and you said i dont want her to go through this....and then you got a divorce which made her life even more sad and caotic..where is the logic in this..how come you didnt see her crying and decided to talk to your husband about not arguing? did you not find him attractive and you were just done with him?