Women Who Leave You At Your Lowest Or Say They Don’t Date Broke Men Are Not The One
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ค. 2024
- Women who leave you at your lowest or say they don’t date broke men are not the one. Stop promoting struggle love struggle love is the ghetto.
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I feel like there are too many stories of women working SO HARD to help build their partners up only to be left or cheated on, and we're at the point where we'd rather just not risk it anymore
right. Notice the demographic who's complaining.
I saw a video yesterday with all white men whose wives cheated on them when they were down… it’s plenty of men in every demographic like this
You sound like a dummy, you're shouldn't have risked it in the first place. The idea is to date men who is prepared, not unprepared. 🤦🏿♀️
@@roseiswine8294 To whom are you referring? As if I didn't know.😁🤣😆
@@roseiswine8294 Right. That is the demographic that is ALWAYS crying 😢 about needing help from women. It's no coincidence.
Sixty-five percent of married men leave their wives if she becomes ill. Why are women expected to be " ride or die " but men get the " I didn't sign up for this" excuse. You never hear "ride or die" applied to men. A lot of men are not loyal and they don't respect women who hold them down. I've heard soooo many men state, " I don't want to deal with your trauma. That's not my problem". However, women are expected to deal with your trauma and hardship.
Right? Like bruh, you literally signed up for it when you said "I do" lol.
@@keplersdream901what's reason #1 😮
The number is 20%, a simple google search would show u that, but whatever helps you sell your hatred.
Oh boo hoo, 😂😂😂
Omg so true
I dated a guy who didnt have any money nor had any goals to make more money. He started talking about marriage and my life flashed before my eyes and got out of there. I will never degrade myself like that ever again. Ladies speak highly of yourself and know your worth
My last ex was the exact same! It wasn't the fact that he was broke, it was that he had no goals- NONE. I tried helping him but he was so lackadaisical. It's fine if you want to be that person, but you can't expect me, who has goals, to be with someone who doesn't. We aren't compatible.
What kind of dates did you go on, or did you pay for everything?
@neoloanderson6676 I paid for every outing that we had and 90% of vacations. Even paid for his phone bill, uber rides to work and lunch a couple times 😒
I married my (now ex husband) who was just like that. I worked 2 plus jobs while he could hardly keep one. I supported us and he used my money as if it was his. He said it was for the apartment or food, etc. dude was actually buying drugs and spending it on his side chick. He then left for his side chick cause she was giving him drugs and I was actively against drugs. That didn’t work out for him either. After that relationship, I never dated another man with no money, no car, and no ambitions. F that.
If you date a man at his lowest point he clearly doesn't have good intent for you if he's not making any effort to improve himself before he meets you. If he really liked you he would want to know you at his highest point not his lowest point I'm not even sure if a man like this even exists at this point.
Why do women have to accept this shit? That's the real question and why are men out there looking for dates if they don't have the money and stability to take anyone out?
I've tried this with men too were I lower my standards and I still get blamed for trying to build them up. It's a lose lose situation for women to settle for trash and if we raise those standards suddenly we're not good enough for those men.
You can't create a lose lose situation for women and expect positive results from it that's not how the game is played because there going to lose too if they expect to much out of it.
They just see women as stepping stones that can lift them out of poverty.
Too many women have tried dating bums and they still refuse to get the help. It's not only a waste of money but time too because you can't force them to change or be a good person they have to realize it on there own when there trying to recover and by the time that happens suddenly there God's gift to women.
I believed in my husband when he had nothing. No money, no degree, no car. our marriage certificate literally lists his career as "unemployed" but I believed he would be more.
I was right. He got the money, the degree, the car and as soon as income hit $100k guess what else he got?
Other women. 🙃
Oof. 😮
That’s how it always turns out!
That's why these women are saying don't build with these guys. They think differently than us. They don't actually want loyalty unless it benefits them.
Omg. You’re a great storyteller…I was NOT expecting that ending.
@@cu1728 to be fair neither was I 😔
As the former CEO of "STRUGGLE LOVE INC." don't do it ladies! EVERYMAN that I have been a "ride or die" for has left me for the girl at the finish line!!!!! I was the cool, funny girl (with low self esteem) who became a placeholder. I have decentered men and I am enjoying my single season and in therapy. Please do not settle for less
Hey hey hey this is me 😭😭😭😭😭 I thought I wrote this for a sec. Happy healing journey to you ❤️ 🥂
Happy healing gorgeous. I could have said the same thing. It's frightening how having low self esteem (in my case due to awful childhood and sexual abuse) exposes us to being used over and over and over until our fragility scars over, forming a hard protective shell. I wish You both the best, and if You so choose - someone that deserves and appreciates You.
Love this for you❤
For a moment I had to pause to make sure I didn’t actually write this about myself. So glad we are on a healing journey. No therapy yet but on my way next year!💙
LOLOLOL. if you were the CEO, I was the COO...phewwww....53 and learned my lesson. Young ones, please do not do this, go live your best life, leave the dust where he settles, don't pick of that pile of dog 💩....you can't polish a turd, ladies.
They want the best of both worlds. They want a woman to help them when they’re broke and they want their dream woman prize at the finish line.
They are sucking out the value of both 😢😢
Right and it don't work that way. And they still trying to waste time, trying to make it work that way
@@user-je7db7bi7iyea because they destroy both
Men: ”we are the providers!!!”
Also men: doesn’t provide
They're opportunistic cake eaters
Wasn’t there a whole video that went viral this year about a man who laughed because he said “I can’t believe my girlfriend actually thought I was gonna stay with her once I got on.“
Then there were a whole bunch of guys attaching their own opinionated agreement. Like, do these men understand that we were all on the same Internet, watching the same things?
They love gaslighting lol 😂
Lol they make me so f*cking sick with their heady mix of callousness and stupidity. You’re so right - we see all the nonsense they pretend they don’t say
Yep! They just want to be a Brittany Renner and play in our faces but expect us to be desperate enough with enough low self-esteem to tolerate their business regardless.
These MALES HATE that Women are like FUG this! And LEVELING UP!
Women are EVOLVING and Getting Smarter from these Males TELLING ON THEMSELVES. And males are mad. They can cry about it.☺️
It's also 2 different discussions being smooshed together. Staying with someone you were already established with is one discussion. Starting a thing with someone who's down is a whole different discussion.
What some men don't want to admit is that they put themselves at their lowest. They got fired because they didn't come to work multiple times. They repeatedly turned down promotions because "I don't need that stress". They are homeless because their roommates saw that they won't pay their share of the rent but somehow had the cash to buy a new gaming PC setup, and they leave a mess for others to clean. The WHY behind a man's lowest is important.
Exactly! Everyone can fall, but often it is their own fault.
@ville__ you agree with her take, you just want the attention? This is not the attention you want. It's the best example of "not all publicity is good publicity" my guy EDIT: I am happy that the creator of the original video who replied to my comment used his head for more than a hat rack and deleted his comment for his own sake.
Funny how for women it's regular business to literally blame EVERYBODY ELSE for anything happening in their life they don't like... but for men, it's supposed to be their fault (with some condescendingly mentionned exceptions).
Can't make that crap up, really.
VERY! And usually they are not completely honest about it so don’t walk, run away from the bs.
@@RasheedahNizam
So... take your own medicine and NEVER comment under any video made by men.
In case you didn't realize, the internet is not your eco-chamber safespace. The mere arrogance to act as if it was YOUR party and place.
They leave women for being sick, gaining weight, having a baby, getting old etc....ladies leave them for whatever reason that tickles your fancy. If he loses his job, leave him, starts balding and you don't like it, leave him, if he gains a little pot belly, leave him, if his breathing gets too loud and it disturbs your spirit, you need to leave that menz. 😂😂
😂🤣🤣
And now it's time for the offering AMEN 😂😂😂
Damn! 😂😂😂😂
Yes, a million times yes. I left a dude because I was hungry and he didn’t give me food lol 😂😂
😂😅
Men have told me to my face that they weren't fit to approach me, "aww! I can tell you're outta my league!". And whenever they said it, I agreed 100% in my mind.
Ladies, if you're in college,he should be also, if you're working FT, he should be also, etc. It's simple math. 🤷🏽
I don't date but if a guy has enough merit to say that then you know if he does eventually get stable money then then he'll be definitely worth going for and if you have enough money for both of you then you got a good truthfully potential partner there
@june-cz1cw "eventually gets stable money?" And what is he doing in the meantime? Draining HER resources, that's what. No thank you.
@ville__ Can you prove she is stealing your content? If so, report her to TH-cam. 🤷🏾♀️
@@Childfree334 I'm just saying men like that has shown consideration to his GFs needs If the women wants to be the one with the money in that relationship then that's fair if the women decides not to get into a relationship like that then that's also fair
@@june-cz1cw All I can say is that if you are that naive, a narcissist is going to come into your life and teach you a very painful lesson.
Men over 30, honestly 25 should not be asking any woman to build him. You are physically stronger than us, you have the entire world on your side because of your gender, how do you not feel shame asking for our belongings? Our money? Space in our homes?
I’m so glad I only attract provider type men. I would go crazy if a broke guy tried me.
Because many black men are weak and useless as seen as lesser men, so basically women. My ex started this build-me-up shit and I left. One of the main reasons besides poor treatment was that I never got a wedding ring. Said he didn't have to do that. So i told him the name change would come once I get the ring, since I don't have to do that either, and just referred to him as my roommate. Sex, attention and everything else went to other men and I made it a point that he knew this.
This dust ball is living on some low-life couch somewhere. Ladies, build yourself and build your children. Regardless of how many dusty BM are out there, you are under no obligation to build any man without a formal, legally binding contract stating that you will get the money you invested into back once he hits is success point. Unless it's in a contract that can be held up court, don't do it.
I'm glad we are all "standing on business" as the kids would say.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@Fungigi what's sad is that i told myself before starting the video, watch every one of the stitches be black men. smh.
@@Tdawgloveyep, it's always the usual suspects. But they have the nerve to get mad when you state the obvious. They call it being racist or sterotyping. As if they didn't affirm their sterotypes
Thirst trapping men
You shouldn’t be looking for a relationship if you have no resources. That’s literally what men say their purpose is, no resources no women, the ride or die will always die in my eyes. These men don’t respect women who stick around so please do what’s best for you.
Mmhhhmm men love to act like they want the girl at the starting line but they will choose the girl at the finish line 9 times out of 10. I've literally have had men dating their girlfriend's for years for them to ask me if I'm ready to settle down yet. Lol one guy was engaged to his longtime gf a week after I let him know he had absolutely no chance with me😂😂
I've had married men bold enough to let me know they would have affairs with me. It's absolutely crazy. So it's crazy for me to think that I could possibly have to deal with shenanigans like this with a broke man by my side. Absolutely not! I rather be looking stupid with a man with deep pockets because at least you can have a come up😂
And I promise no man or woman is going to make me feel bad about my choices. They can be broke and happy together😂
If what they bring to the table according to them is money, why be surprised when their partner expects money?
Yes! Why don't they just stay single while they're building and then look for a relationship when their life is more stable? That's what I (a woman) did. I don't expect a man to be with me while I struggle....
The BS women spread and get applause for will never cease to amaze normal people with brains and morals.
That's the same crap many women (who initiate 80% of divorces) bring up when divorcing a guy who lost his job or got sick.
@@TMeyer-ge5pj
You are incredibly deluded. Majority of men is ignored anyway, as most women think they are 10s and he would be _below them._
A couple works together to build up something. None of these men will look for a career woman, once they reached the stage where they suddenly get noticed by women who were running with the _sunnyboys_ for years.
Also what women consider broke is a joke in itself. Many expect 100k a year, and that is the lower end.
I swear, men have Main Character Syndrome in the WORST way. They think they're the "protagonists" of reality. Women are the side characters, love interests, antagonists and villains. If we don't shapeshift into what they want or need, we're evil foes to defeat or objects of fascination to capture/tame like wild animals. But if we DO stick by them through all the B.S. to the detriment of ourselves, we STILL get paid dust. Why? *Because a side character is only there for support.* Once a minor character has served their purpose, you can throw them to the side with no remorse. Ladies, please remember: WE are the creators, we are the directors of our OWN stories. If a man treats you like a footnote in his life, if he expects you to stay in his orbit no matter how much it decays ... LEAVE. *Never let a man hold the pen that writes your script.*
Screenshotting this bc baby the way this makes SENSEEEEEEE
This ! Girl you said a mouthful
yes. yes. yes. The whole time this is what I was thinking. men don't think that women have lives nor do they respect women as individual beings with their own identity or story. they see women as side characters to their narrative and a woman is supposed to be by their side, or run the race by their side, like dude, did you ever care to think that she may be running her own race and doesn't want to be by anybody's side?
So very well put.
BARS!
As a former founding director of the Build A Man Factory, I strongly urge you to stay single...
The BAM factory is in Chapter 11 bankruptcy trying to restructure by making T-shirts saying, “You better invest in wine and kitty litter”, “You better get a cat”, and the ever popular, “You shoulda chose better”. Sorry, not sorry those aren’t selling very well.
@@mjackson3109 I am currently cruising the Yangtze River...a childhood dream. I could have done it three times already-more-with the investments I put into BAM. Chapter 11 lmfao
Dating men at their lowest RARELY works out for a woman. If he doesn't make you suffer while he's trying to reach the top, he'll make you suffer when he finally does reach it.
Most men don't appreciate a woman who stands by him while he's at his lowest. *SUBCONSCIOUSLY* he feels as if she doesn't deserve more because she was willing to accept less. Most women get left when her man makes it because he wants to upgrade his entire life, including her.
So men can only blame themselves for women not sticking by their side when they're at their lowest. When she does, he WILL make her pay for it.
I don't entirely agree, because it completely depends on the mentality of both parties. I view this content as a man because it genuinely gives me a enlightened perspective on life and how to commit to another person. No possession, no emotional abuse, no tendency to drift to other means of gratification (which I admit I have succumbed to, occasionally) or other detrimental actions to a relationship. That being said, the ideal man should essentially be fixed in a growth mindset if the environment becomes harsher and the situation becomes nearer to dire - if the man is willing to recoup that deficit, irrespective of what occurred, then that's good. The relationship will hold and both will persevere. Once they persevere, they are better for it and the man wouldn't have a deluded mechanism of making his partner suffer? Many men would be determined to get out of their lowest points for their partner. The first man was essentially asserting, to find women of integrity and honor. There are individuals whom essentially treat a relationship akin to an attachment - a key ring. The moment the ring weakens or flexes for a time, the key drops. The gender essentialisation of men subconsciously concluding that they retain their partner because she doesn't deserve more is a pretty esoteric assertion with no substantiation - I've never encountered that among decent people.
Women know this is true even though the men won’t be honest. Always say no to dealing with a man at his lowest!
@@AshanBhatoaWhoa, what a bunch of word salad 🥗 to justify sticking by a broke man.
@@AshanBhatoa😂 the ideal man only approaches a woman he wants to connect with for life when he's already built. He doesnt engage with her before that, or if he does, he hurries the fuk up and gets his shit done. No man is making the woman he wants to marry forever struggle. He wants to impress her and pour into her, because she pours into him. A man that wants you to build sees you as a tool. That's what tools do, help you build. Thanks for the perspective tho 😂😂😂
@@christopherbrown5409 People will interject themselves into your life with no real purpose. How the important ones set themselves apart is how they try to impress you. Maybe with intentional attention, or keeping a promise, or sacrifice. Your wife or husband is the biggest choice you'll ever make. This might be the father or mother of your kids. People with integrity already know this and don't have to have it broken down.
I dated a guy for years who had basically nothing, thinking we were building a life together. I supported him, and when he eventually realised what he wanted to do I helped him to get there. When he started to earn more than me, his attitude towards me changed, he started acting as if he was better than me, and that I was nothing. He would be rude towards me and put down anything I was doing with my life, telling me it was all pointless.
I ended up leaving this guy after he started to become successful, after sticking with him and supporting him for years while he had nothing, because the way he treated me wasn’t worth it.
This is completely the opposite of what most men say women do, but the truth is, some of them dont care if you’re with them through the hard times, once they make it, you’re irrelevent to them.
Next time I’m just going to find someone who’s already there, even if it takes me longer.
This is sadly the risk women run. Men really do think differently than women when it comes to money and this is a key example of the differences. This is why I don't really entertain broke guys anymore either. They really do put women in different categories based on resources, usefulness to them, etc.
Make sure you don’t tell any of your girlfriends your plan either. Unless they’re on the same mindset level that you’re on.
It's unfortunately very common, and for both sides too. Unfortunately it's often difficult to predict future behaviour on the basis of current one - at least for me. Perhaps people with more social skills and experiences might have easier time avoiding such surprises...
This is an all too common story and I’ve been there too. I’m so sorry you went through this. It’s a risk that’s not worth it. Maybe a few guys truly are grateful and stay by her side, but this is not the norm.
idk what i would do if i gave my all to a man to build him up for years and then he changes up and leaves me. like.....i think i would fall into such a deep depression cuz thats so f*cking heart wrenching. im glad you get it now.
Everyone should work on themselves BEFORE getting in a relationship. A relationship should not be a crutch for you to be able to function. It should add to you life. Both people should be able to cope and thrive alone. Thats the problem with this whole mentality
That first sentence right there and ppl act as if that so damn hard to understand. 😊
@@softersideofc.c.5655 exactly! I have never understood why this is so controversial. Seems like common sense for anyone who is an adult 🤔
I’m not tying no shoes for any man!! He better tie his OWN shoes!
@@softersideofc.c.5655Men say every damn day that women’s accomplishments and money doesn’t matter. So now they expect for women to have BOTH??? Please!!!
Exactly. Be WHOLE on your own. If you NEED someone, you should focus on getting your shit together, not piling it on someone else. I'm an extremely selfless person and each and every sacrifice I made for others - backfired. I'm not going to repeat the same mistake and expect different results. It's a completely different to stay with a current partner who suffered a setback.
My mother was always the breadwinner in the family. She worked a full time job, did all the domestic chores, bore his abuse, raised my sibling and me like a married single mom. My father NEVER appreciated her, not once was he grateful. He hit her, yelled at her, called her dumb every single day and made things as difficult as he actively could. Then complained about not feeling like he was the man of the house.
There's no satisying these demonic soulsuckers. If you don't help him build his ish, they'll call you a selfish, materialistic golddigger. If you do help him build, you're the fool he will hold responsible for emasculating him. He'll just say you robbed him of his pride by helping him while taking what he can before running to whoever he really wants.
I am so sorry you got to witness that… it’s identical to my past relationship. I didn’t have kids with him but I can’t imagine a child or teenagers experiencing something like this. I am now in the most beautiful relationship, good healthy men/love exist
Girl my father too except my mother didn’t play the hitting. He tried it once and she showed him a straight crazy mother tiger and he never again acted like he wanted to fight. He did not however change at all and she divorced him. He went and found another woman who was willing to take care of him (which my mother would not and she was tired of trying to force him) he lived off of his girlfriend for 15 years. He has recently survived lung and brain cancer and he has worn this lady out and completely drained her of all the resources and lifestyle that she had before him. Shes in bad health he still argues with her, verbally abused her… isolated her from her family… and she gets jealous if he mentions my mom. My mom said tell her she has no reason to be jealous… “I never want to see his face again, he’s all hers” 😂😂
Double FACTS!
You are absolutely correct. Really sorry that Your Mum went through that.
Exactly this. This same crap happened to me. I kicked him to the curb. I’m not going to let him pull me and my son down.
The fear mongering always cracks me up. They want older single women to be desperate and think “I wish I had settled 😢” just because THEY are willing to “settle” (aka go along with the placeholder, the best they can get until someone better looks their way.) That’s why so many men switch up and don’t look back once they make money. The girl at the finish line holding the trophy looks pretty exciting when you’re this 👌 close to crossing it 😂
Personally I’d rather be single forever than settle for the sake of not being lonely. That, I would absolutely regret. If it’s not right for me I don’t want it. Plus loneliness has nothing to do with singleness. Plenty of people are still lonely in miserable relationships lol
Yes. THIS! Never make a relationship decision from fear, especially fear of loss. My Mum did it with the step-father, and it has taken me years of self reflection and some therapy to see that I nearly did it too! Her married life was desperately unhappy... but she was 'building' because struggle is what marriage means and she made a vow to God. He didn't feel the same way about his vows though. Turns out she was the Master Builder and he was the Destroyer of Worlds.
I have learned many things in my 52 childfree years. If a man hasn't dealt with his demons for himself he will resent you for the help. If you help him too much you will be treated as the mother and he will fight against you to exert his own control 'as the man'. Once that happens there is NO saving that relationship, no matter what!
Your second paragraph was on point! I have felt so much LESS to zero lonely outside of toxic relationships, in whatever sphere. The relationships I have now are so much more healthy, and I am so glad younger generations are awakening to their own power and knowledge.
Listen, they will try to scare you to death. I saw a comment yesterday and a man had the nerve to say “when the end of the world comes these American women without men are going to wish they had settled for men” 😂😂😂😂 I commented… I thought all the single men were turned into passport bros and were moving to the east. There should be nothing but married men and simps in America according to yall…. Make it make sense. And I’m married a lot of these single men refuse to change… and they act like they don’t want single black women but they do! They just want them beneath them so they can feed their egos.
This they going to be old and die alone
The deviant switch.
They keep projecting because statistically they're the ones that are worse off single. Women are perfectly happy staying single if the right man never comes.
These men expect husband treatment at boyfriend/situationship prices. Also these same men won't hesitate to leave you at your lowest or use you to get on their feet then bounce without a care for what you did for them. They will tell you straight to your face you chose to do it so that is on you.
Yep, always slipping and sliding out of accountability talking about “you should’ve chose better” …now they’re mad that we are lol
Omg WE ARE NOT YOUR MAMAS. we aren't born to help you build, sir.
Facts. We only date providers over here.
Here's the thing though, we've been through generations of men putting women through struggle love and the results have always been the same. She builds, he rises and she falls. Even I fell for the okey-doke and I was dragged through the mud. Wash, rinse, repeat? I don't think so.
The same men who want you to struggle love are also the same men who tell you to choose better when he leaves you.
Facts on facts on facts
Sad but true. This is why women are no longer entertaining that bs from guys.
Right get criticized saying that’s what we get for choosing a Tyrone but they then say we’re too picky and have high standards when we want someone to just be treated right
exactly. It's funny. we have generations worth of evidence to prove why dating broke dudes rarely ever works for women yet men are still trying to convince women to struggle with them.
What bothers me about men like this is that they talk about struggle, but they wouldn’t extend the same grace to other women. Like why aren’t these men dating women who are struggling? Cause they can’t offer support to those women, they want perfect
I was a ride or die for a broke man and still got cheated on. I will never do that again. Like drake and 21 said: "I can't talk to broke boys, yeah, I can't talk to broke boys" ...EVER AGAIN!
exactly!!
A man is there to provide for and protect you. So glad you realized this, and your inherent value.
@@SuperStella1111 lets stop spreading the myth that males by nature are protectors and providers. They have to be trained to be that way which is why the vast majority of them are not. what are they protecting if they commit the most crimes and a woman is more likely to be unalived by her partner? what are they providing besides income? not emotional maturity, loyalty, love, compassion etc. all the stuff that actually matters in a partnership.
At the end of the day the human female body (that even men are born with) created Men to protect and provide. Food was more important than compassion. That is taught. You couldn't survive off of compassion and a BROKE male which is why them having CASH is non negotiable. You can't live off of loyalty and love. That's for the delusional pickmes. @@zooweellama
They want you at your absolute best but demand you be available while they are at their worst socially and most importantly financially.
I worked hard and invested in myself in HS, college, and in the workforce to be able to be where I am at such a young age.
What the heck were yall doing when you were younger that you are a 30,40 plus year old man still trying to "figure it out in the trenches"
You know men think they can fool around and make bad decisions until they’re 40!!!
They were chasing a$$
And that’s what I could never, ever understand. People say that it takes time for a man to build, but if you’re a woman with multiple degrees, her own place, driving her own car, putting into her retirement, going on vacations, etc.… then what the hell have they been doing???
Pardon my language, but it’s their fault that they spent the better part of their younger years fucking around and now when it really matters they’re finding out.
The problem is that they spent too much time smoking their friend’s basements coming up with “ideas“ talking about how they’re about to make it big and make their first million while doing absolutely nothing and talking a big game. Talking a big game for like 10 or 15 years when a real man has been hitting the pavement and making money moves. They think they’re going to become the next Elon musk or Steve Jobs or the next famous rapper.
When they hit their 30s and 40s and realize that their dreams aren’t coming true, they take it out on everyone else, especially women, because apparently it’s everyone else’s fault their dreams don’t come true. As if no one else in the world has broken dreams.
exactly. if these men are struggling so bad they could easily find a woman who's also struggling and they can "build together" as they keep saying. You wouldn't need to convince someone who's also struggling to stick by your side when you're struggling, because you guys can support one another, hold each other accountable, and actually BUILD TOGETHER. What these men want however, is a woman who'S figured her life out, has a lot to offer and is also the "trophy" looking wife to struggle with them. The reason why they are complaining and trying to convince women to struggle with them isn't bc here isn't a bunch of woman in their similar position willing to. It's bc the dream girl they want and fantasize about isn't willing to. They want you at your height, to be with them at their lowest.
@@Tdawglove I’ve always hated the fact that men, no matter what station they are in life, always think they deserve a woman to be by their side. And they deserve the BEST woman, at that.
And sometimes, even if they do get the struggling woman who wants to work on herself, he’ll convince her that he should go first, and then when he’s up top, he’ll support her while she gets her own. It reminds me of the viral video of the woman who postponed becoming a doctor, so her boyfriend could become a doctor, just to leave her for another woman…who was a doctor. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
The problem isn't her leaving, it's the fact that too many men get comfortable and dependent on us to carry the weight, financially, emotionally, etc. I'm never doing that kind of labor for any adult man. I'm getting out of the way so he can focus on getting his money up. Broke folks don't need to be dating.
I was that woman… then when he “made it” he upgraded. These males demand undying loyalty from us, but don’t feel they need to do the same back. Entitlement all the way. No more build-a-man era ladies!!
Did the struggle love when I was younger. No. Never lower your standards. EVER.
After you build them up, they leave you for someone “better”…. This happens all the time, that’s why we’re not doing this anymore
How many men leave their woman who was with them at their lowest? Oh okay
The only person I’m building is myself, why build a throne that’s not your own?
I’ve been in relationships where I’ve been the one paying for everything… I’ve struggled to prove I’m not a “gold digger” 😂😂😂
Let me tell you… all I got was BS and tears 💀
Been there, done that, absolutely never again!
He just talked that he wanted to build but did nothing as he was lazy af. I build, I studied on the weekends for almost a year, while working the whole week and he started getting jelaous and sabotaging me....
I left him and had to pay 7.000 debt. I did it in 20 months and afterwards changed for a better job and now I earn above 70K.
Only men who are already set are getting a chance now!
That doesn't mean they have to earn more than me but they need a steady job, no baby mama or ex wife drama in the back, no kids, no addictions of any kind, no cheaters, .....
👏 👏 👏
I had to get myself together before I was ready for a relationship, so of course I want a partner who has worked on themselves too! That's not even just about money-it's mental health, it's having a direction and a skill set, it's being secure in who you are and knowing what you're working toward. Life not a destination, so you'll both continue changing, growing, and building over time... and inevitably there will be ups and downs and things you couldn't plan for. But it's SO important to build a foundation for yourself first and to choose someone who has established themselves in a similar way. THEN y'all can shift your focus toward the relationship.
Some of these men think that women are going to work on ourselves and then step in and do their work for them. But I didn't spend all this time getting my mind and my money right just so I could jump back into the trenches with some dude and be his mother!
Amen❤
Exactly! Nobody should be struggling! You should make yourself a good person first and then look for a partner
Man needs to be a rock.
Exactly. And these guys don’t just want you in the trenches with them, they want you to lift them out, build them. Tie his shoe laces for him like that guy said. They don’t seem to realise how ridiculous they are.
Yessss this is exactly how tf I feel! 🎯🙌🏾😤 like wtf were they doing for the past 10 damn years other than getting any/everything pregnant
It’s important for some of these individuals to understand that singlehood is not a curse. Build your foundation. Stop trying to be in a relationship in every season of your life. You won’t die if you have a season of singlehood and grind.
Come on.
Watch that man 😭😭😭😭😫😫🤡🤡
I'm not looking for a man when I'm broke. Why TF would I be with a man that's struggling financially.
He needs to go to work not looking for a woman to date.
The gag is HE wants the woman at the finish line holding the trophy. Don’t let these men lie to you ladies.
How Many Women Are there for men who have nothing when they meet them and stay and support them and help put them through school, help them get their own homes and establish their careers and still leave them.
Women PLEASE DO NOT FALL FOR THIS.
Maybe some men are grateful and stay while you enjoy the fruits of his success together but too many men will leave you because they resent you for building them up.
You don't have to be rich, but you should be able to take care of yourself financially before getting in a relationship. Too many people view poverty as good enough. I blame the system for that because getting out of it is so damn impossible now.
If 95% of those women will be single that means lots of men will be single too 😂 y’all realize that right, also we see examples of this “love” all the time with people with money. We see them build then get a new girlfriend, men admit they settle. Jeff b got a new fiancé after he build himself up. Don’t lie give the examples of guys who don’t f over women when they get to where they want to be. The problem is that it is rare.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😂
Men need us, we are the prize ladies! Studies show men don’t flourish without us but we flourish just fine as single women. I love my own company so I might be alone, but never lonely & I’m allergic to cats & most dogs!
We put so much into these r’ships with men, only to be lied to & cheated on because these men ain’t loyal. I cooked everyday, cleaned, worked out, never said no to my man & STILL got lied to & cheated on…Nah I’m cool. Single @70 sounds like fun to me!
@@christopherbrown5409font: voices in your head
Word… I’ve known plenty of older women, my grandmother included, who thrived for years, sometimes decades, once the husband died. They seemed to be happy that they had lost the dead weight they were carrying , pretty sure those are the women that started the Purple Hat Ladies! 😀
Struggle love is a scam...u can do bad all by urself. A relationship should be positive, uplifting and abundant...women shouldn't settle for less
What's wild, and I'm only in the middle of the video right now, but I have yet hear any of the men talking about what they are doing for their partner to help her elevate as well. It has all been about finding a partner to help a man get on. No comments about what will happen to her once he is established. No promises to lavish her and take care of her for being so supportive. No one talking about what would happen if she got on first, or how they plan to help her get on so both of them can eat. Everything coming from men up until this point has been help me, help me, me me me. This is why women, especially established women, are only looking at established men or men with a definitive plan on how to elevate and STAY ELEVATED.
Because the world revolves around them,
Men are lonely, women should fix it
Men want kids, women are selfish for not giving them kids
Men need servants, women need to submit
Listen men don’t care about women, that’s what I’ve learned this year. They only care about men
Exactly! We would be happy to invest in something that will actually give us returns
That’s exactly what I was thinking. They speak about relationships being something of SERVITUDE women provide for men. It’s all about what a woman has to bring to the table, what a woman should and shouldn’t be doing for her man to keep him happy, the sacrifices SHE should be making for the relationship. They’re extremely vague when it comes to what they have to offer (outside of money since that’s all they seem to think is necessary) no mention of reciprocity, because they don’t plan to provide any!
You see how the males skipped over this.
Ask yourselves, men...how many of YOU are dealing with struggling women?
A sh*t ton, it's a general expectation that a woman who would struggle alone deserves to be taken care of
You know what, my brothers wife is complaining that he wants their bills to go from 11k/month to about 9k for some time because he is doing things to to a new airbnb, she doesn't earn a penny and can't see why it should change, and he's aggravated AF they just don't get it
@@RecursiveENTP he already married her. She ain’t just a little gf. He married her for a reason ask him why
@@Youareheretoo of my 4 brothers who are married only one doesn't complain and get stressed out about their wife's sheer disregard for their money except the one whose wife is a clinical psychologist and she has to be understanding for a living. Hell, my best friends dad is a millionaire many times over and he complains about his wifes disregard. I'm not down for a life of sacrifice and being taken for granted, that's no way to live
@@RecursiveENTPmen don’t like women, they especially don’t like their wives. You get with women because you need us and it makes you look good, but you don’t like us. I’m not surprised that all you men do is complain, all you have to offer is money and/or D, one of which isn’t that useful. But yall stay acting like you’re the prize, women are fine on their own. Tell them to divorce the women if they’re so unhappy
I love how these men think they all are on the “come up” 😂😂😂
Put that energy into you, Sis.
Grind and get yourself together then come holla, that's what they do anyway most times is to settle for a "help mate" when they're going thru it but as soon as men accomplish their goals they go after the women or woman who they really want and if you aren't that kind of woman they will leave you no questions asked so it's not a woman's responsibility to help a man build, come already built and if you're not together they that's what you should be focusing on.
The women that are there for you when you 'build' or 'tying your laces' you leave when you're at the finish line for the woman sitting pretty at the bleechers near the Press Box, nowhere near the finish line! When your 'builder' no longer fits your image you don't help her come up, you say you outgrew her and bounce. Y'all were singing and laughing along with "when he gets his dream he'll leave yo ass for a white girl". We heard you!
I'm not here to help you, build you, tie your laces, hold you down or mother you. I will build, and you will build, and we will meet along the way. You support me and I'll support you, but only if you are emotionally mature. I am not setting myself on fire to keep you warm! I'll NEVER be someone's Mammie again, they bleed you dry and that shit hurts!
I'm single, childfree, 50s, minding my BW business and HAPPY!
Exactly. No unrequited love
Its so crazy how blk men push this message but they never tlk about being with a woman at her lowest lol
the last man was so hypocrite. He made his own little story where women are at fault for picking the lowly guys but he is also blaming women for not sticking with those lowly men at their lowly moments?
Wow they don't Understand that we'd rather be single....old as hell with our cats and dogs and have a peaceful a$$ life we worked hard for.
Any man who is not financially or socially in tact will only cause you trauma. They aren’t happy with themselves and will bring you down. Don’t even bother
Sad but true. You see a lot of ugliness with men when they are in that stage because there is so much social pressure on them to be providers and many of them start to crack under that pressure. It's really not a good state for a woman to be around him in unless he's an especially well-raised, morally strong guy.
There are just so many countless stories of women who were the ‘shoelace helpers’ that got screwed over by the man they ‘helped build’.
Whether it’s because she reminds him of his time in the struggle, or because he never planned his future with her, or some version in between, it never works out for the woman.
8:14 Summed it up pretty well that now they’re repackaging struggle love to guilt women into settling.
Lol I just laugh.. I was that girl in my 20’s .. I wasted my whole 20’s with my first love saying we building.. we met in college.. only for him to leave me when his money was up .. all of a sudden .. I wasn’t his type .. and every other excuse .. now fast forward today .. his “ type” don’t want him ., play him for his money .. blah blah .. rants and raves on God’s good innanet .. I just be laughing .. it’s more but I keep at that . But ya I say this to say .. DONT DO IT SIS..
In addition men who struggle Often take out their resentment and anger when they don't have resources Out on their partners The Woman who is there for them when they don't have anything.
0:45 Men often want the women who are at the end of the finish line because they often deem those women as more attractive or that women is actually they’re type. Meanwhile the women who was helping him build was just a placeholder to keep him warm at night.
Honestly I think it's selfish and rude to want somebody to be in your life when you really should be getting your life together. It's like inviting somebody to your home when it's a mess. You shouldn't even feel comfortable wanting a relationship when you're still under construction. Not saying a person need to be a millionaire but at least be in a position to sustain a decent quality of life.
Exactly! It’s just decency. It’d be like inviting company over when I’m half dressed. What person in their right mind wants to be seen in that light and moreover wants my guests to come dress me and pull me together 😂. These men know damn well they’re failing and they’re grasping at straws as to why THEY can’t stay single and pull it together before hopping into a relationship.
These are the same men who'll mock women who say, "If you don't love me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best". 😂😂😂
Make it make sense!!
I didn’t date when I was at my lowest.
These guys.😂 Men got married when they had nothing back in the day so often and left their wives once they were successful that we even have a term for it, “mid life crisis.” How come women like my grandmothers who were born in 1920 even dealt with the mid life crisis of their husbands? Males want to have access to a woman’s labor and body whilst he builds up on her back, then he dumps her for a much younger woman. My ex husband didn’t want me after I broke my neck, and he told me that I was “broken, and he was gonna trade me in for a new model.” Why should women be loyal when men are NOT?😂
Any man thay wants you to struggle is not the man for you. He does not love you. Struggle love is not worth it.
Dude is straight on BS. The “2nd one” is _exactly_ the one they want b/c they leave the 1st one for her all the time. They couldn’t give a single _shyt_ about the one who “helps them win the race.”🙄 At least that Woman is honest when she leaves; she didn’t sign up for the struggle. Whereas a male will meet a Woman at her best, *take* her to her lowest, and THEN he’ll leave!
These men are such princesses xD I would like to revise my answer to say i whoel heartedly hope these broke men leave these ladies alone
Sassy man apocalypse lol
bahahahahaahahahahah!!@@shanicrystal8671
Ladies, don’t listen to these men. I’m a CPA. I met another CPA at a professional event and he was unemployed at the time. We were in our mid-30’s. I told him to focus on getting a job and we could date once he had his job situation taken care of. He got a job and he called me for a date as soon as he got that job. REAL MEN don’t put women who have something going for themselves in a situation who to struggle with them and the RESPECT women who have those boundaries. Did I go out with him, YES. Was I able to build a relationship with him, NO, b/c he always had an issue that I was a harder worker than him therefore had more success and way more money than him.
He wouldn’t take you at your lowest physical. So yeah
Someone bring back 2018 twitter receipts of men bragging about leaving the come up chic😂😂😂. Bring it back. Men we're actually telling men to use their women to come up and leave her when things get better. Someone rewind it back,bring back those twit receipts
They have amnesia
Chile, they do not want the women they struggle with. They often resent her because she reminds them of when they were struggling
I love how he mentions go for the girl whose with you at the start of the race which in my experience a lot of women are that. however most men will let go of that girls hand and go for the one at the end of the race and rub it in the face of the first girl by telling them they've upgraded to a younger and prettier girl. A girl that wouldnt have given them a second glance at the start of the race. Theres a reddit story where a husband had a wife that made 400k, made gourmet meals, and showered him in love and this man decided to play mind games while cheating on her with 19 year old. And men wonder why we dont put much trust in them
Too many women stay and get left behind or chested on. Hell I didnt lose my virginity until I was almost 30 cause of the amount of men that mistreated my friends or got one of my cousins pregnant and bounced out of her life leaving in a worse situation than what she started with and this fool wonders why women say no to men. Be real if women treated men like they treat us theyd be celibate and avoid relationships too
Truth is people leave you at your lowest because they signed up for you when you were your best. They have a delusional image of how you should be rather than accepting reality of who you are in the moment
To be fair, men leave women for the most trivial of reasons, so good on women for clapping back.
they use the 'placeholder' woman until they are at their best. then leave that woman who helped them through it for something 'better'
@@evilannie8884 They leave the struggle girl EVERY TIME.
As a guy with some pride, I won't even try to date women if I'm not in a good place. I need to feel like I can look after her - not because of what she expects - but because of what I expect for myself. And not just money. Character, and having a plan for the future matters too.
I LOVE how they say... "This is why yall single" as if its an INSULT! 😂😂😂😂😂. Guess they dont see thats the point 😂
I know so so so many men will never consider dating me due to me being plus sized. I’m not their type. I can recognize it’s slightly superficial but nonetheless I’m not their type it’s cool. Why are men mad that so so so many women don’t want to date men that have no money?! Something as important as money? lol it’s crazy, and there are plenty of women that love a broke man just go date them? Date who likes you!
I was the girl that was there for a partner who was in a serious car accident and lost everything. In the end, found out he was humping around before the accident and had a maybe baby (dna test confirmed he wasn’t the father). Don’t do it ladies. I wasted so much time, energy and love
Struggle love is exhausting,even if the guy doesn’t cheat ,you feel cheated. In my situation I felt like I was depleting my resources to help someone else so instead of my finances multiplying and growing I always fell behind. I always described it as an old ball on the chain, felt like I was just carrying dead weight.
There’s nothing wrong with NOT being the one! I think wanting to be the one is the reasoning to allow us to accept this type of thinking/behavior.
I’ve seen so many women who built their man up and sacrificed to support his dreams.
Guess what? They always got taken for granted. Many of those men were chasing ME while their BTB was at home. They’re using their BTB’s years of investment to impress the woman at the finish line.
Having a woman is a privilege, not an entitlement. Invest in yourself, Ladies. Too many of us project our own potential onto men, and it’s time to own our gifts. ❤
I have supported men (in my younger yrs) in their lowest for several men (ie boyfriends) in which everyone of them when they were coming out of their "low" treated me like trash to where I was the one left with nothing but trauma, hurt, and a smaller account. I will never ever do so ever again. If you don't have it together I am good and will either find other or be content in my singleness
No more Barbara the builder.
Any man that wants you to struggle with him, is not the man for you. A man that does'nt have a steady foundation, has no right looking for or pursuing a woman. His focus should be on trying to improve his quality of life. If he is willing to deal with you knowing he does not have much to bring to the table, he's using you for resources and help. He's trying to dig himself out of a ditch. And you are a resource, not a wife. A roomate. A man should come into your life to make positive improvements. To be ready and willing to provide you with stability. Real men don't come at women in any condition. They have some kind of pride. We have to make these men work for it.
Then they want to ask us what we bring to the table.
And that’s when you say I’m not a waiter
@@rtj2397 Nice one!
Ladies, don’t waste your opportunity for a great life, hoping that you’ll be the exception to a rule!
Don’t ever settle. Ever. It doesn’t ever work out in your favor. And the men freaking resent you in spite of everything you do for them. Believe me. I did it and I was abused emotionally, psychologically, physically. Don’t settle.
Can these men get together and have a meeting on some new counter points? This notion of being single and dying alone is projection and women see it as such. So, do better men, and stop being lazy with the counter arguments, geesh.
No one signed up to struggle in this life. everyone wants the best for them.
Men think women being single is a bad thing lol. A woman earning and not having to deal with a man-child will be much happier than someone stuck in a toxic relationship. Ladies, study and work hard and never give a dusty man a chance.
They don’t think that, they just trying to manipulate women and fool them
When your lowest is you regular self, thats a problem
🔥
Major key
These men are constantly contradicting themselves. They want a woman to help them when they’re down, but they don’t like it when a woman helps them when they’re down. They get mad at a woman who is only waiting for them at the finish line, but that’s the woman that they leave the woman who helped them when they were struggling for. And then then get mad at women for staying single, but they don’t care to look back at the two instances that I cited.
And then men say that women will be mad that they’re on their own at 70 when they’re really just projecting because of all the times that they scapegoated and hopscotched from women to women. It seems like men want to build up different types of families just for the chance of having somebody be at their bedside when they die, and there’s no guarantee for that. This is wild. This is so insane to me.
If women are single then so are men. That's it. Simple maths. Instead of arguing back and forth, just say simple things like what I just said.
@@keplersdream901old men are just as bad if not worse because you expect them to get better with age…. Soo no, it’s just men. Plus it’s been decades lol, not just this generation
@@Maggiebenjee That's not true at all. Men will hop from home to home, dip into the younger pool, leave a baby or 3 behind, then go back to that when they need someplace to die.
@thegazetteyt Anyway. As I stated. If women are single then so are men. Sleeping around and dabbling around high schools like a creep is still single. Don't what tf you're talking about.
@@Maggiebenjee You don't know what Im talking about because you are not listening. If women are single men are single is not that binary. Men will be dabbling with many women and cleave to one or more at any time it suits them. Then they will call that a relationship because they are not alone. Perhaps you need to define what you consider a "relationship" because your "simple math" is not mathing.
They want a "momma" that they can screw. When he's at his lowest, the LAST action he needs to be considering is having a woman! Most dudes don't stick by the woman when she's going through difficulties. Being single, in your own place, having peace, or even deciding to have a fur baby is more self-love than adding the heaviness of a dude who's not happy with himself. Sure, I miss the touch of a man, but I don't miss the burden many bring. Help make my life better or stay away from me.
This💯💯
Both men and women need to realize that we are each the Center of our lives. We come together to share the overflow of what we each have poured into ourselves.
Aspire to a partnership, not a relationship.
My question is, why are men always struggling?! 😒 I know so many women that get their sh*t together in their late teens and early 20s. I’m in my mid 30s and still encounter men trying to get it together at my age and older 🙄
Men really struggle to mature well into their 40s. It's kind of scary how long they get to just coast. But maybe if women stop accepting them at their weakest, they will start to realize they need to get their stuff together in their 20s and 30s like women have to do.
People need to stop demonizing singlehood and making it out like it's the worse thing that can ever happen to you. There's worse things/situations than being alone, for example being with someone who doesn't appreciate you or is actively trying to exploit you. Resentment is such a soul sucker and leaves you a shell of the wonderful person you could be. Embrace singlehood, work on bettering yourself. Be the finish line man and get with a finish line woman because you deserve each other. Stop trying to convince yourself or the finish line man/woman to lower their standards. It's a lost cause. Life really is too short to waste energy on the opinions of others.
I won't leave my HUSBAND if he loses and needs to rebuild. If a man hasn't committed to me, I am not riding the struggle bus with him. Boy, bye!! ✌🏽
You "hold these dudes down" they come up and leave you. Dont do it.
I’ve built up a couple fellas. Got nothing to show for it, and they’re out there living their best lives on all the work I did. Never again.
I would rather be accused of being a gold digger than a pickme. Meanwhile Brad, Juan and Lu never have this discussion. This is a poverty mindset. Struggling is not a bonding activity, it is a curse.
@@christopherbrown5409you mean those women who don’t date down.
Women (especially BW) have had to master the art of DEFERRED GRATIFICATION whereas men have not. So many of them want everything RIGHT now but don’t want to work toward a specific goal. They want to take shortcuts or are content, at best, to be a 50/50 arrangement and at worst, in being completely dependent upon a woman.
It took a while for me to save the 20% down payment for my house on a 1-acre plot, but I got THE house I always wanted rather than buy a lesser home and fix it up. I will NOT wait on an XY to evolve and grow to catch up with me.
😂😂😂they don't care nothing about that. You can stay down for the come up and he still will choose that woman at the finish line. These dudes hilarious.
men: im a provider, i put food on the table, i'm the bread winner, i wear the pants,
broke men: why won't women be with me!!?? they should be with me because its not fair i have nothing!!!
My husband and I built our kingdom together. I won't be struggling with any other muther fudder. Teamwork makes the dream work. If you are out of his league, don't drag him with you, it will only slow you down.
The women that men settle with when they are at their lowest are not the women that they actually want. That’s why they leave them when they come up. They get the women that they want because now they can afford to give her the lifestyle she desires.
Yes, and they are in their age of 40-60 want to date and use young girls 20-25y.o They are absolutely disgusting
I become so disgusted at My former self when reality is. Being layed out like that