Don’t listen to unhealthy / toxic men, get curious about their point of reference. It will tell you all you need to know about their intentions far quicker.
Don't despair! You have immeasurable value! Your worth isn't determined by other people regardless of whether they see it or not. You had a lucky escape! A man who uses women as placeholders has low empathy, is selfish, and immature. He's no prize to begin with! A real man doesn't use anyone as a placeholder. I just think to myself I'd rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't truly love me! Hold your head up high and be thankful that guy is out of your life! Sending hugs to you!❤
Don't do this to yourself,mixtape. YOU aren't the problem. He is the problem. Stop thinking he was your prince charming. Keep that man out of your life for good. You can get over him. The first serious heartbreak takes the longest to heal. But it DOES heal if you remember life will get better. Time to do new things. Go to the library. Become a notary. Buy a domain name. Forget men for a bit. Do something else. You will heal. The best thing I got out of healing was the knowledge that heartbreak doesn't break ME. You don't want me? Ok, see ya.
The thing is that even if those “dream women” were available, they would still be treated like shit. I mean we all here know what kind of women they’re into.
@@konishatosha4336You preaching. 💯💯 They want a ghetto, ratchet, city girl but want her to act classy. They want the best of both words. You can’t have it. 🤷🏽♀️
They want a sexy, financially independent woman and turn her into a plain, modest housewife who is "submissive", but these type of women don't fall for their scam.
My oldest cousin was with a good woman for 12 years. He left her right when the pandemic hit to get with his high school crush who is a baby mama. Which is hilarious cause he always posts about baby mama's being low value.
A lot of these men are just out here regurgitating things that they've heard other men say because they want validation from other men. So they'll put on a show & make ignorant comments for social media reactions but in actuality, they want the women they constantly speak against.
Notice something, they always say “the one they want.” That’s not something you say about a person, that’s what you say about a toy or car. These men do not even see the ‘one they want’ as a person. We are just toys to them
I love seeing the women coming out stating how often men straight up lie & deceive for however long until they get what they want.... While people are out here telling us "you should've chose better" Oh my bad, I was dealing with the same serpent Eve was in the Garden 😅😢
The devil in the Bible is literally men. It’s not a made up character. It’s a book about men in their various forms. Men wrote the book lol. The more you know 📖
The male played Two parts in the Garden: Adam and the 🐍. They hate to admit it cause.. well, it's a lil below the belt for them. It was and is "Adam's apple" as well...that's a bit of a spiritual chokehold I suppose. They constantly admit who they are....consider the slang they say: You need sit down wombman I'm De'mon! To say he's "TheMan" an wombman should bow to them. Ya just admitted you a De'Mon🤦 But I digress...
Contrary to what the podcast bros say, it’s the MEN who are afraid of dying alone, so they’re willing to be with a woman he really doesn’t want rather than be on his own. He keeps her around until the woman he wants also wants him, and if he can’t get the woman he wants, he’ll SETTLE for the placeholder. Ladies, you’ll know that he views you as “you’ll do” and not his “dream girl” based on his actions. Stop entertaining these fools! The minute he shows you that you’re his placeholder, get out of your feelings and move on - NEXT! If you’re dating with intention but he’s just “seeing how things work out”, tell him, “thank you, NEXT!”
@@em.415 most men can only marry the women that they can actually get, not the women that they actually want. Thats why most super beautiful women are often single. Yes. The men are there, they just don't be wanting them 😂😴
This is SO TRUE. I live around a group of mainly women and the old men are constantly hitting on anybody bcos they are real afraid of being old and alone. The women are FINE with it 😅
Wasting a woman time is one thing but having a baby and wasting her time just to leave the baby and mom alone AKA a single mom baby with no father is another thing🤢😤 it's okay to be alone until you fine a woman that wants to be with you
I was a single mom… a very young one. I will say woman have to take more responsibility for not letting a man get her pregnant. It takes two…he doesn’t do it alone and we have to respect OURSELVES and our bodies enough to not allow ourselves to get pregnant by men who show us they will not be good fathers. We know it. I wish I had been smarter in this sense…if the Internet had been around when I got pregnant in the early 90s, I would have been much better informed. There’s no excuse for women nowadays! Lots of good and free information and education out there.
@Becky_Cal yes I agree I'm not blaming the man 100%.. buy its the thought to say yeah I will have a baby with this lady but I don't want her...if you are thinking to have a baby with a person you know you don't want to be with its just stupid to me..that's all I'm saying..men or woman
@@Becky_CalNot having the internet is no excuse for being a single mom. You knew how to have s3x without the internet. You knew how babies were made without the internet. Plenty of women, including myself, managed to avoid pregnancy and single motherhood without having the internet.
The women they want, won't date them for a reason. When a guy says,"I got heartbroken by a girl whom I Ioved but she rejected me." She rejected him for a reason. And pretty soon, as I get closer to him, I see it too. His ego, narcissism, misogyny, lies.....
This is why I’m so enraged at all the people trying to convince women to lower their standards and accept low effort courting from men who won’t take you out on a proper date. Men clearly show you how much they care about you and how much they care about impressing you. The ones who don’t care will usually not try very hard. I wish people would stop trying to make women accept little to no effort from men.
@tfkdandsvkc yep , I get drained dealing with men - I don't know how women deal with men 24/7. Men make my stress levels go up because they're parasitic by nature and their energy is chaotic
@tfkdandsvkc preserve your energy and pull back focus on you ! Stop giving men your time and energy freely! A lot of these men are seeking attention children when they can't get what they want and right now most can't get what they want which is access to women sexually etc.. even married men who address single women aren't happy either- a happy married man wouldn't be concerned about a single woman and a happy married woman wouldn't be concerned about a single woman if both their needs are met met by each other. I don't give my time and energy to men freely as most of them don't deserve it - even the men who argue with women in the comments and make podcast complaining about women instead of becoming better men by getting therapy and working on themselves to evolve to where women are at
Some women actually don’t know. If you were abused as a child, you really don’t know sometimes. It is conditioning. No one tolerates abuse when they know better… like seriously. It might not be something you can understand if you haven’t been there. Women who care should seek to educate WITH compassion.
I can't leave even though i know he's not for me, i'm just being afraid of being abandoned or breaking up with him feels ljke abandoning him. So i stay 😢
This. We skip over the why of the choices women make. So many women undergo all kinds of emotional, sexual and physical abuse in youth that make them easy prey.
I think it’s a serious backfire for men to be so honest about their level of manipulation, lack of compassion, care, respect and love for most of the women they date. What’s the game plan? Was it an attempt to put us in a massive mentality of despair that would make us give up our standards? Because the reality is a lot of women men peg as ‘jaded’ are just wise to the game. And in the age of the internet, even younger women are learning just how many men are truly deplorable romantic partner candidates. Especially since even though women are wising up and choosing singlehood over any form of a bad relationship/situarionship/etc. with men, men are digging their heels in and refusing to step up and be good partners. And still have the ‘epidemic’ of loneliness. If a car dealership tried to tell me how systemically all the other car dealerships are shady, trash, etc. and then turns around to say they are the exception, I’m not going to be thankful they’re definitely ‘one of the good ones’ who won’t swindle me like the others. I’d question getting a car at all.
A car will mess up yourself credit too. In my 20s I had this older woman roommate that I signed a car with and I couldn't figure out why my score was so low until they finally pulled her name off my account and now it's in good standing again. I don't think I would ever want a car if I had to make payments on it. It seems easier just to save the money for the car you want and buy it all upfront so you won't be in debt. That's why they have cabs, Ubers, buses, and trains so you won't have to waste money on gas even if I invested in one it would be one of those live in vans I could use to go camping with and you have to make sure you can afford the payments it's very tricky because until it's paid off this will always be in your file that it's not paid off yet so be careful when you purchase it and make sure you have a reasonably priced home first before you buy it.
I agree that we as women can make decisions that will help steer clear from the time-wasters among men. On the other hand, men still can't handle rejection in any form whatsoever (think of men being mad at SINGLE women for choosing to be childfree). In regards to pursuit of relationships, men are the chasers and we're the ones being chased. I say all that to say this; Men who operate with the mindset of using women are predators. In the presence of a predator it is your upmost duty to stay vigilant no matter what. There's a reason why you don't turn your back to a mountain lion...
This nuance is absolutely fundamental to debunk predators. I always say there's 2 types of men: the predators and the protectors. Unfortunately for women, there's a big majority of predators.
The difficult part is not knowing you’re the placeholder because they lie and say you’re the one they want so when they discard you so easily after wasting many of your years, it’s pretty traumatic. Because you believed them when they said they want to be with you forever and have kids with you.
Apparently I was supposed to get jealous and beg and "fight " for some jobless, childish, damaged person with serious mommy issues. I cried, it was sad, and then I apparently got over it somewhere back there..... I don't even know what state he's in but it doesn't matter anyways does it?
@@Sky-yh3ml pretty much. Cried into my pillow, smoked some weed and ate pizza and yeah, once he called but I didn't recognize his voice and I was all "why tho?" The end lol
@@princess555o4 once I realized he wasn't who I thought and who I thought they were was all projected onto him because that's how I was, you know, sincere and looking for a real partner, a life partner, and he was never gonna be that, and it just wasn't worth making him into that person if it was even possible, and I was lonely but I didn't start dating really either cause every dude kept being just like he was, just a parasite. So I been celibate like 3 years and I like it
Yep. They purposely waste women’s time then make fun of child free cat ladies. They also make fun of single mothers and any woman over 30.😂 Basically, our existence is the issue.
@@toscadonna So true, ever since I hit 25, they went out of their way to shame me for being 25. They say things like “hit the wall” to ladies above 25. Our entire existence is an issue for them.
Because men have a biological desire to pursue sex and will do what they have to do to get it. If men had to take the time to get to know and form intimate relationships with every woman to have sex all the time, they would barely have it at all. Relationships are a huge commitment that require a guy to plan dates, pay for everything, open up emotionally, etc., so a man isn't doing those things unless he really feels like the woman is worth the effort. Why not just be alone and abstain from sex?" People are wired with a sex drive for procreation, and we're also social beings that need company. So for that reason, men will pursue you even if they don't want or aren't ready for a relationship. They want the sex and intimacy because we as humans are designed to want those things. "Why not just have sex with women who want something casual?" Because they see the women that don't want something casual as higher value women who are more likely to be loyal to them and not have STDs. Not defending any of it, just explaining why it happens
Wow. The phrase "They wanted to use my body but not love my spirit" jumped out at me. That was how I felt every single time I got involved with a man. It made me feel like a doll not a person.
And if you start to treat them like a sex doll or doll for other reasons they can't handle. They always want DEVOTION from us. They can use us, but we can't use them. I just want sex bro, they can't... They try to convince me that they want me for more than that just to shift me in wanting them and left. No, it isn't working anymore. No devotion, no more falling for word. Never more.
This is one of the many extremely cruel and traumatizing things that men do to women. I don't know why men are not thrown in prison for tricking a woman into s3x by pretending to be in a relationship with her? Then these same men complain about women only wanting money and using them for money. Like really? The only difference is that these men can always work and make more money but a woman can never get back her self esteem or s3x or trust back and she is forever damaged. This is the type of trauma that may women carry for life and it's something that you never fully recover from.
The men in the family used to protect women from men who’d do things like this, and a broken engagement was a BIG deal. Now men get away with everything.
A woman can definitely get her self-esteem back with work. She can trust again, with work. Her sexuality and body always belonged to her and can be shared, but not given away. And she is not “forever damaged”.
I see a few people in the comment section saying that they used to do the same thing (casually entertaining multiple people at the same time just to kill time) and I can honestly say that I'm grateful that I've never been THAT bored 😑 I mean regardless of one's orientation or gender. . .I don't understand how people can be so entitled to other people's time and energy. Is it really THAT uncomfortable to just chill by yourself for extended periods of time? Like I know everyone's personality and situation is different but the thought of entertaining a revolving door of multiple people, ESPECIALLY people of the opposite sex, even if we're "just talking" and not being physically intimate, just sounds like the definition of unpaid labor to me. I've never been the person to just get so bored and lonely that I feel entitled to other people's time and validation. Get a hobby, read a book, cultivate a new talent, write, make music, create art, learn a new language, heal and possibly get the therapy a lot of folks are overdue for. I'm not even saying that marriage and whatnot should be the end goal every time you meet someone new, but why waste your time and have someone waste theirs? I mean if both parties are that needy and both agree to the terms and conditions I guess it's whatever, but I feel my lifeforce draining out of my body just *thinking* about being in that situation.
I think it's actually very rare for someone to get into "situationships" with zero cut and dry feelings enjoyed. My bf and I have a mutual friend who is in a very sticky situation. Our friend agreed to have a non-inclusive, limited time fling with this girl (she was moving away), while she would visit an older guy every other week. Well, now both guys (our friend + older guy) want her exclusively and she bounces back and forth before between the two of them. One week she tells our friend that he is her sou mate, next week she tells the older guy he is her soulmate, etc. Both dudes want her to cut out the other man. But, quite frankly, it is clear as day that is not her intention. And we warned out friend not to get into anything with her. Just cut her out. I personally don't go for this type of life style. For multiple reasons. But from my observations, this type of situationship is rife with jealousy and misery, amongst the moments of happiness.
I love everything you said here. You put it so well. Like most men truly have been socialised into sociopathic behaviours because normal conscious beings don't do this
No you misunderstood what they said.they mean Something like Friends with benefit and they don't promise this men anything marriage or future Something If it Happens it Happens but they dnt lie to those men about getting married, Loving them or such things.
Pretty shocking. Since men were the ones selecting me, chasing me, and pursuing... I assumed they knew who they wanted (me) and that I was their dream girl. Then I decided if I also wanted him as my top pick. Then was surprised if they would dip because WHY?? Now I get it. I never thought to even ask them if I was their top pick or if they are drooling for someone else to become available. This was valuable. Now that I know about this, I can be much more cautious. ❤
In all sincerity it healthy dating shouldn't include all these things. If they truly think this is "just how men move" then we need to start being real about the antisocial nature of men
breaking it off with a man bc i realized that he didn’t want me and watching him try to gaslight me into thinking we should “just vibe it out and be in the now” until he was ready was crazy. bye bookie , this was waste of time
Been there. One guy I was seeing only referred to me as "company" when talking to other people. When I told him I loved him, he said "I'm really sorry." When I finally realized I was a placeholder, he didn't deny it, he said "that makes it sound bad..." Ladies, run far and fast. Not long after letting go of that shit show, I met my now-husband. This man would move mountains for me. He would walk through hell and back for me. And I would do the same for him. There is someone out there that will see and appreciate your worth.
It’s like they can’t even see the good woman he has right in front of his face. Reminds me of the movie “Wuthering Heights” from 1939 with Lawrence Olivier. There’s a heartbreaking scene with the wife he doesn’t love where she tells him that they could be happy together if he’d just try, that she loves him, that she’s a woman, too, but he only cares about Cathy who married a rich man back when he had nothing.
How they treat you is how they feel about you, but you still gotta be up on game and manipulation tactics they play. A lot of them like to play the role of the man you claim you're looking for. Don't let them know what you want or expecting out of a man. Either they're that man, or not, but let if flow naturally
Pretty sure there was a film called He’s Just Not That Into You. I’ve never seen it but the title gets to the crux of the matter. Judge a guy by how he treats you not what he says. It would be great if men just told the truth but they aren’t going to be honest about not being that into you because they still want to use you. So women have to look at his actions and be honest with themselves. I’ve been single for a while partly because my bullshit radar is on point and also because I am zero tolerance on men who are all in. I can take it or leave it.
Oh that's what my ex douchebag is doing. He was going to teach me a lesson for getting bored of his shit and how he refused to get a job or even look for one..... Yep I sure learned a lesson, that he can keep on teaching me a lesson, I like this lesson, and it's that I'm happier he is far away AND SOME OTHER PERSON'S PROBLEM
Me and my ex were good the first couple of months but at the end he wasnt sh**. When i would try to leave him he would say hes gonna end himself which would make me someone who's been depressed wanna stay with him. Then one day he stopped coming around didn't answer my calls or text. It does sucks cause i stayed longer then what i should of. Im glad he did though cause i couldn't leave him and glad he left before i had a baby on my hip
The problem isn’t that they’re hanging out with someone else. The problem is getting caught in a web of hurt and carrot dangling. The one he wants plays hot and cold repeatedly to keep him interested. He plays hot and cold with the other woman to keep her interested. Unless you take a step back and close that door and see the selfishness for what it is, you’ll probably pass on the same thing to someone else.
No. There is no indication the woman he wants is playing hot and cold. Why attempt to blame his behavior on her. He could just be by himself until she is ready, the games with other women is unnecessary.
More & more being single is becoming a blessing in my eyes. I have clarity, peace, & am not acting out of emotions or desperation. In reality, more & more women are waking up to how poor most men actually are as romantic partners, and placing boundaries on them & restricting access to sex upsets them. The constant “you’re going to die alone” threats, and the jokes about being a “cat lady”, when it reality, it’s MEN who haven’t adapted to the dating market they created by how we all watched women treated in the 90s & 2000s. Yes, there are good men who want marriage & are actively working on being a husband…clearly, those men are few in number. Not enough men ask themselves why women are filing for divorce & de-centering men and refusing to date.
And he's retaining water. Hands look engorged like that when there is disease or dysfunction with the liver or heart... seeing that beer in his hand explains quite a bit. I am ashamed both for and of the women be found to deal with him because he appears homeless (no shade to the transient community, tho). I SHUDDER at the thought of any of these women allowing him into their homes, lives, and... **gulp** BEDS 🤢🤢🤢🤢😭😭😭😭
I'm starting to wonder if theres any correct way to be around men(or people in general) that deters bad treatment etc. Or is it inevitable if thats the kind of person they are and we might aswell just be ourselves and quit all these games because whatever they do says more about them than us. Do we even want to be putting so much energy into ensuring we show up a certain way so we attract the right man. I dont know if any of this works. Theyre gonna treat you how they are, not how you are. And isnt it a bit pickme to constantly be on your guard or censor yourself for men.
There’s really not much else you can do besides be yourself with strong boundaries towards bad treatment. Even at work, I can be brilliant and literally bring in a billion dollars worth of work, and the males will attack me for it. They’re not treating me well, because I’m good; they’re treating me badly out of envy. Bad men treat ALL women badly. It may take some time for the mask to fall of with the “dream girl,” but you are what you practice to be. You don’t spend your life using women and hurting them and then all of the sudden you’re Prince Charming.
You're absolutely right and I wish people would understand that. When people use you or cheat, it's a them issue. And this is coming from someone who cheated once in the past. I never thought my ex wasn't good enough, I had my own demons and hurt him because of it. Hurt people hurt people. Never personalize someone's behavior
Honestly, the one time when I asked someone if he is single he lied to me because he preferred pretending being single. A huge disrespect against his partner and me. Wasting our time for a man without honour. Hiding is for them not lying.
This happened to me twice with an ex and a friend. The ex was madly in love with me but I wasn't. Even after we broke up for years he asked 1 last time. I said no and we cut ties. Maybe a year later he sent a pic of him and his fiancé lol. Some random girl. He even blocked her face out smh. Anyways I'm like why would he message me and send this?! I wished him the best but imagine if she found out he reached out to the ex he couldn't have but loved the most. With my friend we were just buddies and he wanted mroe so he too asked to marry me and I said no. Later he married his friends sister because she was nice and available. But even during that time he's message me that he can't forget me. Recently after years and having 2 kids he messaged me asking if he should divorce her cause they had a fight! And asked if we can meet up real quick! Tf?! I told him off and said u better not divorce it's crazy! So I stopped talking to him.
I had a guy do this. He had my picture on his stand and told his wife that I was his cousin. She ended up contacting me and I answered her questions. These males really are trash.
If this is like America, you should tell him to divorce his wife and say you are interested. Then after he's done with the expense and timely legal and financial stuff just say never mind and block him. It's likely that you'll save that other women a lot of time and divorce court usually favors women so he'd likely lose a lot.
@@rabidfirefox8914 oh no I don't mess with karma. Every situation that presents itself to u gives u a chance to handle it right or wrong. Even though he's wrong to begin with I would never suggest breaking a family, just for the sake of his wife and kids not him. So I don't wanna do all that and get bad karma coming to me later in life.
The placeholder position is the reason I refuse any man is completely single. Even the ones that claim they refrain from dating. That primitive predator energy is in their DNA. Even the mens movement focuses on building yourself up to eventually be in a place to use women they way they want.
One doesn't need to be "in love" to marry. It's here in the West one is reqiured to "fall in love" to get married. We often choose people we're in love with and attracted to instead of choosing people we're compatible with. The fact that you are both in love with each other doesn't mean both are right for each other.
First of all it doesn’t make any sense asking any of these type of men why they like you ..because they know what they’re doing and they know how to manipulate you and answer you to keep you blind to what they are doing. Your best bet is to see what’s happening by their actions, follow your intuition and be done with it be gone goodbye.
A whole alot of women are a placeholder.i have 1ex Boyfriend and an ex friend from 17years ago that still begging me to come back together again.while they been waisting other women time,years and wombs.some of those women knew that they still love me even told me that to my face.but they still chose to stay🤦🏾♀️. The funny thing is 17years ago i was such a bad girl and they did everything for me but i didnt even lift a finger for them.hmmm men
No one can waste your time if you don't let them! I met an elderly couple that Re married but they didn't have families while they were apart. I worker if he took care of his child over seas?
The only thing about the first one is that he shouldn't have married that woman if he didn't love her enough to consider her just as worthy as the first woman. We all have multiple true loves in our lifetime, if you're open to that concept. But the point is to value them as ANOTHER true love, not a runner up or someone whose just good enough for the time being. Because yes, the third time is a charm, but ladies if you tell a man, "No means no" then by that logic he should never ask again. Not for another date, not for your time and energy, no for anything moving forward. So I don't have any problem with the man moving on, finding another woman to marry, and even if they divorce. Becuase it just might not work out. BUT my issue is that he kept the first woman in his heart all that time to keep going BACK to her. So if it's always in your heart to have that person, don't you dare waste someone else's time while you're waiting for your window of opportunity. Let the one that got away BE the one that got away.
This was not the personal attack I was expecting today😂 I found myself a placeholder for a year. I thought ‘I can make him want ME over her’ naaaaw, they know which one they want.
Well, on the second video... If you look at it from Italian girl's perspective, if he had rejected her, she would wonder why she wasn't good enough, and maybe he thought he could be passing up someone valuable. But, yeah, I agree it was time wasted.
I heard that men are with women who they find approachable, not exactly they interested in. they choose a safe option a low maintenance not demanding women, while actually longing for a 'pretty' women that have zero interest in them.
To know if your a place holder will mostly be exposed unintentionally. Usually through actions or conversations. Some men will flat out tell you there’s another women. You need be willing to let go of heavy weight to truly get what you deserve.
Why it should cost men money to be in proximity to a woman. Men will think twice to deal with you if you cost 100dollar/ hour while youre not his dream girl.
I was a place holder for 7 years. It left me empty, broken and worn. I refuse to be in another relationship before I am whole. I have been happily single for 7 years.
Single and celibate by choice for 7 years too. Haven’t met anyone I could see a healthy and lasting relationship with. Now I don’t even care anymore because giving people a chance is too stressful and the risk is not worth the reward
Actions will show you, no need to ask them anything. It's about his actions. Is he consistent, does he plan dates, does he wait before trying to have you in his bed, etc. etc. If a day passes without hearing from him, if he doesn't take you out on dates often, he needs to go. Don't even explain anything to him, just ignore and neeext.
I think it is a good idea to ask him why he wants to be in a relationship with you and what he likes about you. I know he might lie but it will be an unexpected question and I think it would help to see what answer he comes up with. Is he just saying the standard things he thinks a woman wants to hear or is he able to express something personal about himself or you.
@@Lilzki That is not as unexpected of a question as you want to believe it is. Men like that play from the same handbook. Even if he looks surprised to you it's all for show.
My friend dated this guy and she's out of his league way way out and his friend starts to show interest in me and I asked him why me ,😂😂😂 he never asked again because I was not interested in him at all .
People don't understand is that this is the way you generate generational trauma and curses onto your family and all the children that are in their lineage. If people would see dating from a spiritual perspective, they would think twice haha
@@nyeguono NO, that is exactly what he meant. Notice this video is about men wasting women's time. He said nothing about that. He only said it is an immoral action under the comment section of a WOMAN who said she does the same to men. That is what he is offended by. Notice he never said "an immoral action no matter who is doing it." You have ZERO common sense or discernment.
Women do this, too, though. People shouldn't be waiting on one person forever and but they should at least be equally or even more into the person they move on to next. And sometimes, whether you're male or female or non binary. The person you wanted so bad is not even that great for you. Just be honest with yourself and everyone you deal with. These things wouldn't be an issue.
lol they even married the one they don’t want. I’m very demanding if he does not respond well I move on. Ladies not settle for crumbs. Don’t put with bs
About more than ten years ago, i was probably 28, i had a so called situationship" with a guy, we used to go to this gothic bar, he talked to me on facebook, told me he wanted to meet me, for about two years he would be super flirty with me, made plans to be together as a couple and then nothing happens, i saw him a couple of times but super late at night, i tryed to stay away but he would promise again and again. Until i started dating a guy and i when he contacted me again i told him to stop it, that i was with somebody and i was not interested at all in someone how disrespected me so much.....more tahn 10 years later, the guy still calling me and texting me at least twice a year. I have told him so many times to stop, but no....he is gonna continue trying for 15 to 20 years....oh well.
there's an easy way to screen if he thinks you are the one. He will provide, he will protect. He won't sing about 50/50 . You know when you are his dream girl easily
Not sure what having a passport have to do with not accepting disrespect and abuse. She missed the part where men lie about how they feel about you, lie sbout being in a relationship with you. Some of them lie and fake so well, that you only realize it or the truth comes out when they finallly drop their mask. When they meet the one they really want. Don't blame the person who is being lied to, but the liar.
Expecting a man to wait for you when you keep telling him “no” is unrealistic though. Be real. If a woman really wanted to be with a man, but he said no… we wouldn’t expect HER to stay single and wait 😒
Thats not the problem. The problem is to then move onto a partner you dont have actual feelings for and play with their time and emotions. If you dont love someone, dont date them and dont play them for a fool. its really simple if you have a heart
80 at the end it the only way things will change is that everybody will be alone or there'll be more violence. He chose to behave the way he does because of who he is not what you do and do not tolerate
I just believe in reasons and seasons.. people take it wayy too personally when someone doesnt attach themselves to them forever.. people grow, change some don't but whats important is are becoming self reflective enough to be able to enage qith people respectfully, detach when not, communicate yours and understand others needs bettwr and learning the art of maintaining relationships and emotional balancw in challenging times.. ao times peopke really arwnt ready for the people they come into contact with but regret not being able to make the best of that chance at the time..
Ummmm, I'm sorry, but why is any of this surprising to anyone? Men think about sex like every 4 seconds. They connect sexually, while women connect emotionally. So thinking that a man will just stay abstinent and lonely if he is in love with a woman he can't have is really naive. Now, I am a firm believer that everyone out here should, at some point in their life (especially men) practice abstinence. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental meditative discipline that is good for you all around. BUT, society is teaching everyone these days that sex means nothing, that it equals freedom, and girl boss status...... so what do these women think is happening? Men are gonna shoot their shot, and if you give it up, they won't say no. It's up to you to say no and set your boundaries and expectations. Be the one they can't have and have to chase. Instead of the one who gets got at word go.
When men say you are jaded and bitter it is code for you are smart and wisened up.
Being single is looking better and better.
Facts!
This. Remember this framing, y’all!!
Don’t listen to unhealthy / toxic men, get curious about their point of reference. It will tell you all you need to know about their intentions far quicker.
I felt humiliated when I was a man's placeholder. It was so embarrassing, like my time and body wasn't worth anything.
Only give your time to a man who married you and provides. Universe guru Chanel is everything.
Don't despair! You have immeasurable value! Your worth isn't determined by other people regardless of whether they see it or not.
You had a lucky escape! A man who uses women as placeholders has low empathy, is selfish, and immature. He's no prize to begin with! A real man doesn't use anyone as a placeholder.
I just think to myself I'd rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't truly love me! Hold your head up high and be thankful that guy is out of your life!
Sending hugs to you!❤
Don't do this to yourself,mixtape.
YOU aren't the problem. He is the problem. Stop thinking he was your prince charming.
Keep that man out of your life for good. You can get over him.
The first serious heartbreak takes the longest to heal. But it DOES heal if you remember life will get better. Time to do new things. Go to the library. Become a notary. Buy a domain name. Forget men for a bit. Do something else. You will heal.
The best thing I got out of healing was the knowledge that heartbreak doesn't break ME. You don't want me? Ok, see ya.
@@almondjoy123you are right, that is super selfish and immoral because it is just using other people. A person who acts like that is of low value
Healing matters
The thing is that even if those “dream women” were available, they would still be treated like shit. I mean we all here know what kind of women they’re into.
Yes. The loud obnoxious city girl type. Then get mad when the city girl won't change who she is for the comfort of his ego 🥱
Either that or trans women.@@konishatosha4336
This city girl stereotype is ridiculous for real. The most violent and loud women I have met are from the country.
@@konishatosha4336You preaching. 💯💯 They want a ghetto, ratchet, city girl but want her to act classy. They want the best of both words. You can’t have it. 🤷🏽♀️
They want a sexy, financially independent woman and turn her into a plain, modest housewife who is "submissive", but these type of women don't fall for their scam.
My oldest cousin was with a good woman for 12 years. He left her right when the pandemic hit to get with his high school crush who is a baby mama. Which is hilarious cause he always posts about baby mama's being low value.
That is hilarious. Ugh men.
A lot of these men are just out here regurgitating things that they've heard other men say because they want validation from other men. So they'll put on a show & make ignorant comments for social media reactions but in actuality, they want the women they constantly speak against.
He'll regret it, and his ex is better off.
Ewww
Weird plot twist at the end!
Notice something, they always say “the one they want.” That’s not something you say about a person, that’s what you say about a toy or car. These men do not even see the ‘one they want’ as a person. We are just toys to them
Exactly. "I want THAT one."
Right because he very likely knows her at surface level
Yasssssss preach they dont know what they want i have no time to wait for them to figure it out leave women alone period
They see these women as trophies.
Right he’s the prize not her who he’s saying is the one these men will end up alone in a diaper 🤷🏾♀️
I love seeing the women coming out stating how often men straight up lie & deceive for however long until they get what they want.... While people are out here telling us "you should've chose better"
Oh my bad, I was dealing with the same serpent Eve was in the Garden 😅😢
👏🏼Yep👏🏽I've been calling them The SNAKES always trying to get in the Garden for a couple of years now.... or XYs
The devil in the Bible is literally men. It’s not a made up character. It’s a book about men in their various forms. Men wrote the book lol. The more you know 📖
This is the comment of the century yup👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Thats why women should lie too to get what we want out of men
The male played Two parts in the Garden: Adam and the 🐍. They hate to admit it cause.. well, it's a lil below the belt for them. It was and is "Adam's apple" as well...that's a bit of a spiritual chokehold I suppose.
They constantly admit who they are....consider the slang they say:
You need sit down wombman
I'm De'mon!
To say he's "TheMan" an wombman should bow to them.
Ya just admitted you a De'Mon🤦
But I digress...
Being single ain’t so bad after all
Like fr!!! I used to feel bad about it. Not anymore
@@olikah4667 You shouldn’t
Liiiiiiiisten!!!!
😂😂😂👍🏽
It’s a win win situation fr 😂🎉
Contrary to what the podcast bros say, it’s the MEN who are afraid of dying alone, so they’re willing to be with a woman he really doesn’t want rather than be on his own. He keeps her around until the woman he wants also wants him, and if he can’t get the woman he wants, he’ll SETTLE for the placeholder.
Ladies, you’ll know that he views you as “you’ll do” and not his “dream girl” based on his actions. Stop entertaining these fools! The minute he shows you that you’re his placeholder, get out of your feelings and move on - NEXT! If you’re dating with intention but he’s just “seeing how things work out”, tell him, “thank you, NEXT!”
And they will even propose to the “you’ll do” women. So a ring means nothing.
How to tell ? I guess i'm just really naive because despite living this long i still can't tell
Exactly. Women will never do that. Its never THAT serious 😂😴😴
@@em.415 most men can only marry the women that they can actually get, not the women that they actually want. Thats why most super beautiful women are often single. Yes. The men are there, they just don't be wanting them 😂😴
This is SO TRUE. I live around a group of mainly women and the old men are constantly hitting on anybody bcos they are real afraid of being old and alone. The women are FINE with it 😅
Wasting a woman time is one thing but having a baby and wasting her time just to leave the baby and mom alone AKA a single mom baby with no father is another thing🤢😤 it's okay to be alone until you fine a woman that wants to be with you
I was a single mom… a very young one. I will say woman have to take more responsibility for not letting a man get her pregnant. It takes two…he doesn’t do it alone and we have to respect OURSELVES and our bodies enough to not allow ourselves to get pregnant by men who show us they will not be good fathers. We know it. I wish I had been smarter in this sense…if the Internet had been around when I got pregnant in the early 90s, I would have been much better informed. There’s no excuse for women nowadays! Lots of good and free information and education out there.
@Becky_Cal yes I agree I'm not blaming the man 100%.. buy its the thought to say yeah I will have a baby with this lady but I don't want her...if you are thinking to have a baby with a person you know you don't want to be with its just stupid to me..that's all I'm saying..men or woman
@@Becky_CalNot having the internet is no excuse for being a single mom. You knew how to have s3x without the internet. You knew how babies were made without the internet. Plenty of women, including myself, managed to avoid pregnancy and single motherhood without having the internet.
@@Becky_Calshe got pregnant, she is with her baby, she is taking responsibility. He impregnat her, he left. It’s his fault, he is the trash.
@@ajt8967men kill and cheat on their pregnant wives? Why should I get married?
The women they want, won't date them for a reason.
When a guy says,"I got heartbroken by a girl whom I Ioved but she rejected me." She rejected him for a reason. And pretty soon, as I get closer to him, I see it too. His ego, narcissism, misogyny, lies.....
Yessss ❤
This is why I’m so enraged at all the people trying to convince women to lower their standards and accept low effort courting from men who won’t take you out on a proper date. Men clearly show you how much they care about you and how much they care about impressing you. The ones who don’t care will usually not try very hard. I wish people would stop trying to make women accept little to no effort from men.
You can ask them “why” but they just lie anyway 😒
Yeah. No man is going to look in your eyes and tell you “you’re a good placeholder for now until, the one I really want becomes available.
That's why you observe, look at their actions, does it match their words?
Bc they will no have the sex the laundry etc for free ❤
most of the men who are in the friend zone have girlfriends. we dont talk about that enough
🤯🤯🤯
Leave them in the friendzone! That's where they belong especially if they got girlfriends on the side!!
lmao
My time and energy is valuable- I call them energy vampires 🧛♂️
Exactly. So do I.
@tfkdandsvkc they will suck you dry
@tfkdandsvkc yep , I get drained dealing with men - I don't know how women deal with men 24/7. Men make my stress levels go up because they're parasitic by nature and their energy is chaotic
@tfkdandsvkc preserve your energy and pull back focus on you ! Stop giving men your time and energy freely! A lot of these men are seeking attention children when they can't get what they want and right now most can't get what they want which is access to women sexually etc.. even married men who address single women aren't happy either- a happy married man wouldn't be concerned about a single woman and a happy married woman wouldn't be concerned about a single woman if both their needs are met met by each other. I don't give my time and energy to men freely as most of them don't deserve it - even the men who argue with women in the comments and make podcast complaining about women instead of becoming better men by getting therapy and working on themselves to evolve to where women are at
Some women actually don’t know. If you were abused as a child, you really don’t know sometimes. It is conditioning.
No one tolerates abuse when they know better… like seriously.
It might not be something you can understand if you haven’t been there.
Women who care should seek to educate WITH compassion.
💯💯💯
went thru childhood Physical abuse and yes! Agree 1000%
I can't leave even though i know he's not for me, i'm just being afraid of being abandoned or breaking up with him feels ljke abandoning him. So i stay 😢
@@Stella-yt6dpYou will be so much happier without him. There will be peace and contentment. And be strict and vet the next ones.
This. We skip over the why of the choices women make. So many women undergo all kinds of emotional, sexual and physical abuse in youth that make them easy prey.
Lol this is why I don’t feel bad for never settling I don’t believe in wasting my pretty years😂
Don’t override your intuition for the sake of their “potential”
My intuition never let me down. Im glad I got away by listening to mine.
Date for marriage and the lifestyle you wish for you and your future children.
I think men live by the line all is fair in love and war. They turn love into a warzone for women fr
Even calling their partners “body count”
@@kaileymo that was a poetic and devastating observation
@@catcat9582😂❤
I would have agreed with you but there is no ''love'' at all, especially from them.
Lol ...this made me life
I think it’s a serious backfire for men to be so honest about their level of manipulation, lack of compassion, care, respect and love for most of the women they date. What’s the game plan? Was it an attempt to put us in a massive mentality of despair that would make us give up our standards?
Because the reality is a lot of women men peg as ‘jaded’ are just wise to the game. And in the age of the internet, even younger women are learning just how many men are truly deplorable romantic partner candidates.
Especially since even though women are wising up and choosing singlehood over any form of a bad relationship/situarionship/etc. with men, men are digging their heels in and refusing to step up and be good partners. And still have the ‘epidemic’ of loneliness.
If a car dealership tried to tell me how systemically all the other car dealerships are shady, trash, etc. and then turns around to say they are the exception, I’m not going to be thankful they’re definitely ‘one of the good ones’ who won’t swindle me like the others.
I’d question getting a car at all.
A car will mess up yourself credit too.
In my 20s I had this older woman roommate that I signed a car with and I couldn't figure out why my score was so low until they finally pulled her name off my account and now it's in good standing again.
I don't think I would ever want a car if I had to make payments on it. It seems easier just to save the money for the car you want and buy it all upfront so you won't be in debt. That's why they have cabs, Ubers, buses, and trains so you won't have to waste money on gas even if I invested in one it would be one of those live in vans I could use to go camping with and you have to make sure you can afford the payments it's very tricky because until it's paid off this will always be in your file that it's not paid off yet so be careful when you purchase it and make sure you have a reasonably priced home first before you buy it.
It’s the death throes of patriarchy
@@kaileymoI love your wording! I can’t wait for the rapture part (the part when women stop birthing these devils en masse) 😊
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I agree that we as women can make decisions that will help steer clear from the time-wasters among men. On the other hand, men still can't handle rejection in any form whatsoever (think of men being mad at SINGLE women for choosing to be childfree). In regards to pursuit of relationships, men are the chasers and we're the ones being chased.
I say all that to say this;
Men who operate with the mindset of using women are predators. In the presence of a predator it is your upmost duty to stay vigilant no matter what. There's a reason why you don't turn your back to a mountain lion...
This nuance is absolutely fundamental to debunk predators. I always say there's 2 types of men: the predators and the protectors. Unfortunately for women, there's a big majority of predators.
@@kantik2118You are 100% correct.
The difficult part is not knowing you’re the placeholder because they lie and say you’re the one they want so when they discard you so easily after wasting many of your years, it’s pretty traumatic. Because you believed them when they said they want to be with you forever and have kids with you.
Apparently I was supposed to get jealous and beg and "fight " for some jobless, childish, damaged person with serious mommy issues.
I cried, it was sad, and then I apparently got over it somewhere back there..... I don't even know what state he's in but it doesn't matter anyways does it?
🎶shake shake shake him oooof🎶💯
@@Sky-yh3ml pretty much. Cried into my pillow, smoked some weed and ate pizza and yeah, once he called but I didn't recognize his voice and I was all "why tho?"
The end lol
@@MagdaleneDivineAMEN! I'm praying to get to this point. "Why tho?" Is a vibe ✨️
@@princess555o4 yeah and I didn't do it on purpose, he was just too much to deal with I was honestly relieved.
@@princess555o4 once I realized he wasn't who I thought and who I thought they were was all projected onto him because that's how I was, you know, sincere and looking for a real partner, a life partner, and he was never gonna be that, and it just wasn't worth making him into that person if it was even possible, and I was lonely but I didn't start dating really either cause every dude kept being just like he was, just a parasite.
So I been celibate like 3 years and I like it
Why are guys like this ? So many have wasted my time when they didn’t actually desire me. They waste our child bearing years.
Mass narcissism is my best guess
Yep. They purposely waste women’s time then make fun of child free cat ladies. They also make fun of single mothers and any woman over 30.😂 Basically, our existence is the issue.
@@toscadonna
So true, ever since I hit 25, they went out of their way to shame me for being 25. They say things like “hit the wall” to ladies above 25. Our entire existence is an issue for them.
Because men have a biological desire to pursue sex and will do what they have to do to get it. If men had to take the time to get to know and form intimate relationships with every woman to have sex all the time, they would barely have it at all. Relationships are a huge commitment that require a guy to plan dates, pay for everything, open up emotionally, etc., so a man isn't doing those things unless he really feels like the woman is worth the effort.
Why not just be alone and abstain from sex?" People are wired with a sex drive for procreation, and we're also social beings that need company. So for that reason, men will pursue you even if they don't want or aren't ready for a relationship. They want the sex and intimacy because we as humans are designed to want those things.
"Why not just have sex with women who want something casual?" Because they see the women that don't want something casual as higher value women who are more likely to be loyal to them and not have STDs.
Not defending any of it, just explaining why it happens
They don’t even know they lose their child bearing years too . we have so many autistics because of old dads .
Wow. The phrase "They wanted to use my body but not love my spirit" jumped out at me. That was how I felt every single time I got involved with a man. It made me feel like a doll not a person.
And if you start to treat them like a sex doll or doll for other reasons they can't handle. They always want DEVOTION from us. They can use us, but we can't use them. I just want sex bro, they can't... They try to convince me that they want me for more than that just to shift me in wanting them and left. No, it isn't working anymore. No devotion, no more falling for word. Never more.
This is a common thing men do called having a place holder woman. They will even go as far as marrying and having a baby with the placeholder woman.
This is one of the many extremely cruel and traumatizing things that men do to women.
I don't know why men are not thrown in prison for tricking a woman into s3x by pretending to be in a relationship with her?
Then these same men complain about women only wanting money and using them for money.
Like really?
The only difference is that these men can always work and make more money but a woman can never get back her self esteem or s3x or trust back and she is forever damaged.
This is the type of trauma that may women carry for life and it's something that you never fully recover from.
Because it's all projection. They assume women are using men because they know for damn sure men are trying to use women
The men in the family used to protect women from men who’d do things like this, and a broken engagement was a BIG deal. Now men get away with everything.
Perfectly said!!
A woman can definitely get her self-esteem back with work. She can trust again, with work. Her sexuality and body always belonged to her and can be shared, but not given away. And she is not “forever damaged”.
@@kiamaria331Facts. From a girl that is now healed and healthy
I see a few people in the comment section saying that they used to do the same thing (casually entertaining multiple people at the same time just to kill time) and I can honestly say that I'm grateful that I've never been THAT bored 😑 I mean regardless of one's orientation or gender. . .I don't understand how people can be so entitled to other people's time and energy. Is it really THAT uncomfortable to just chill by yourself for extended periods of time?
Like I know everyone's personality and situation is different but the thought of entertaining a revolving door of multiple people, ESPECIALLY people of the opposite sex, even if we're "just talking" and not being physically intimate, just sounds like the definition of unpaid labor to me. I've never been the person to just get so bored and lonely that I feel entitled to other people's time and validation. Get a hobby, read a book, cultivate a new talent, write, make music, create art, learn a new language, heal and possibly get the therapy a lot of folks are overdue for.
I'm not even saying that marriage and whatnot should be the end goal every time you meet someone new, but why waste your time and have someone waste theirs? I mean if both parties are that needy and both agree to the terms and conditions I guess it's whatever, but I feel my lifeforce draining out of my body just *thinking* about being in that situation.
I think it's actually very rare for someone to get into "situationships" with zero cut and dry feelings enjoyed. My bf and I have a mutual friend who is in a very sticky situation. Our friend agreed to have a non-inclusive, limited time fling with this girl (she was moving away), while she would visit an older guy every other week. Well, now both guys (our friend + older guy) want her exclusively and she bounces back and forth before between the two of them. One week she tells our friend that he is her sou mate, next week she tells the older guy he is her soulmate, etc. Both dudes want her to cut out the other man.
But, quite frankly, it is clear as day that is not her intention. And we warned out friend not to get into anything with her. Just cut her out.
I personally don't go for this type of life style. For multiple reasons. But from my observations, this type of situationship is rife with jealousy and misery, amongst the moments of happiness.
I love everything you said here. You put it so well. Like most men truly have been socialised into sociopathic behaviours because normal conscious beings don't do this
No you misunderstood what they said.they mean Something like Friends with benefit and they don't promise this men anything marriage or future Something If it Happens it Happens but they dnt lie to those men about getting married, Loving them or such things.
It sounds brutal .. but men will put up with a lot for some 😾
@@DragonFlightRidershe has massive energy handing out her cookie to two men 😂 or she has some disorder like nymphomania 😂
Pretty shocking. Since men were the ones selecting me, chasing me, and pursuing... I assumed they knew who they wanted (me) and that I was their dream girl. Then I decided if I also wanted him as my top pick. Then was surprised if they would dip because WHY?? Now I get it. I never thought to even ask them if I was their top pick or if they are drooling for someone else to become available. This was valuable. Now that I know about this, I can be much more cautious. ❤
In all sincerity it healthy dating shouldn't include all these things. If they truly think this is "just how men move" then we need to start being real about the antisocial nature of men
@@soundsaboutright--- good point.
Top pick ?
breaking it off with a man bc i realized that he didn’t want me and watching him try to gaslight me into thinking we should “just vibe it out and be in the now” until he was ready was crazy. bye bookie , this was waste of time
Been there. One guy I was seeing only referred to me as "company" when talking to other people. When I told him I loved him, he said "I'm really sorry." When I finally realized I was a placeholder, he didn't deny it, he said "that makes it sound bad..."
Ladies, run far and fast. Not long after letting go of that shit show, I met my now-husband. This man would move mountains for me. He would walk through hell and back for me. And I would do the same for him. There is someone out there that will see and appreciate your worth.
Specially if she's a virgin💀
Shera seven talks about this all the time. Don’t be the placeholder woman!
It’s like they can’t even see the good woman he has right in front of his face. Reminds me of the movie “Wuthering Heights” from 1939 with Lawrence Olivier. There’s a heartbreaking scene with the wife he doesn’t love where she tells him that they could be happy together if he’d just try, that she loves him, that she’s a woman, too, but he only cares about Cathy who married a rich man back when he had nothing.
How they treat you is how they feel about you, but you still gotta be up on game and manipulation tactics they play. A lot of them like to play the role of the man you claim you're looking for. Don't let them know what you want or expecting out of a man. Either they're that man, or not, but let if flow naturally
Give the woman a choice not to be used!!
I love how she recognized that the lack of self love and respect was her problem bc I can relate.
I suffered and suffer from that too, but now I'm able to choose better, by choosing no men at all
@@vmfjae1180 word! Looking back it seemed so silly
Pretty sure there was a film called He’s Just Not That Into You. I’ve never seen it but the title gets to the crux of the matter. Judge a guy by how he treats you not what he says. It would be great if men just told the truth but they aren’t going to be honest about not being that into you because they still want to use you. So women have to look at his actions and be honest with themselves. I’ve been single for a while partly because my bullshit radar is on point and also because I am zero tolerance on men who are all in. I can take it or leave it.
It was originally a self help book and a really good one at that!!!
Oh that's what my ex douchebag is doing. He was going to teach me a lesson for getting bored of his shit and how he refused to get a job or even look for one..... Yep I sure learned a lesson, that he can keep on teaching me a lesson, I like this lesson, and it's that I'm happier he is far away AND SOME OTHER PERSON'S PROBLEM
Me and my ex were good the first couple of months but at the end he wasnt sh**. When i would try to leave him he would say hes gonna end himself which would make me someone who's been depressed wanna stay with him. Then one day he stopped coming around didn't answer my calls or text. It does sucks cause i stayed longer then what i should of. Im glad he did though cause i couldn't leave him and glad he left before i had a baby on my hip
The problem isn’t that they’re hanging out with someone else. The problem is getting caught in a web of hurt and carrot dangling. The one he wants plays hot and cold repeatedly to keep him interested. He plays hot and cold with the other woman to keep her interested. Unless you take a step back and close that door and see the selfishness for what it is, you’ll probably pass on the same thing to someone else.
No. There is no indication the woman he wants is playing hot and cold. Why attempt to blame his behavior on her. He could just be by himself until she is ready, the games with other women is unnecessary.
Is she playing hot and cold or is she just not that into him?
More & more being single is becoming a blessing in my eyes. I have clarity, peace, & am not acting out of emotions or desperation. In reality, more & more women are waking up to how poor most men actually are as romantic partners, and placing boundaries on them & restricting access to sex upsets them. The constant “you’re going to die alone” threats, and the jokes about being a “cat lady”, when it reality, it’s MEN who haven’t adapted to the dating market they created by how we all watched women treated in the 90s & 2000s. Yes, there are good men who want marriage & are actively working on being a husband…clearly, those men are few in number.
Not enough men ask themselves why women are filing for divorce & de-centering men and refusing to date.
Billions of women for 10 good men on earth, I'll pass
The usual suspects. Im sure ALL men do this but we can see who does it more
His hands big and ashy too!!! 😂🤣😂🤣
And he's retaining water. Hands look engorged like that when there is disease or dysfunction with the liver or heart... seeing that beer in his hand explains quite a bit.
I am ashamed both for and of the women be found to deal with him because he appears homeless (no shade to the transient community, tho). I SHUDDER at the thought of any of these women allowing him into their homes, lives, and... **gulp** BEDS 🤢🤢🤢🤢😭😭😭😭
I'm starting to wonder if theres any correct way to be around men(or people in general) that deters bad treatment etc. Or is it inevitable if thats the kind of person they are and we might aswell just be ourselves and quit all these games because whatever they do says more about them than us. Do we even want to be putting so much energy into ensuring we show up a certain way so we attract the right man. I dont know if any of this works. Theyre gonna treat you how they are, not how you are. And isnt it a bit pickme to constantly be on your guard or censor yourself for men.
I agree with all this ❤
Exactly. They treat women how “they are”.
There’s really not much else you can do besides be yourself with strong boundaries towards bad treatment. Even at work, I can be brilliant and literally bring in a billion dollars worth of work, and the males will attack me for it. They’re not treating me well, because I’m good; they’re treating me badly out of envy. Bad men treat ALL women badly. It may take some time for the mask to fall of with the “dream girl,” but you are what you practice to be. You don’t spend your life using women and hurting them and then all of the sudden you’re Prince Charming.
You're absolutely right and I wish people would understand that. When people use you or cheat, it's a them issue. And this is coming from someone who cheated once in the past. I never thought my ex wasn't good enough, I had my own demons and hurt him because of it. Hurt people hurt people. Never personalize someone's behavior
Honestly, the one time when I asked someone if he is single he lied to me because he preferred pretending being single. A huge disrespect against his partner and me. Wasting our time for a man without honour. Hiding is for them not lying.
"Wasteing our time for a man without honor".
And these fools name their newborn baby after an ex or someone they really wanted
😂😂😂Are ya’ll still dating these things??
fr
I'm not. F them 👹🤛🏾🤡🤛🏾
😂😂😂these things...they hate women so much that they would never hold themselves accountable for the harm they inflict on women
Sadly yes😢
@@smallypuppy22me too sis don't feel too bad
This is exactly why I don’t and will never take them seriously.
Respect and Dignity ladies 👏
This happened to me twice with an ex and a friend. The ex was madly in love with me but I wasn't. Even after we broke up for years he asked 1 last time. I said no and we cut ties. Maybe a year later he sent a pic of him and his fiancé lol. Some random girl. He even blocked her face out smh. Anyways I'm like why would he message me and send this?! I wished him the best but imagine if she found out he reached out to the ex he couldn't have but loved the most. With my friend we were just buddies and he wanted mroe so he too asked to marry me and I said no. Later he married his friends sister because she was nice and available. But even during that time he's message me that he can't forget me. Recently after years and having 2 kids he messaged me asking if he should divorce her cause they had a fight! And asked if we can meet up real quick! Tf?! I told him off and said u better not divorce it's crazy! So I stopped talking to him.
I had a guy do this. He had my picture on his stand and told his wife that I was his cousin. She ended up contacting me and I answered her questions. These males really are trash.
@@biblethumper8088 super creeps smh. We dodged a bullet!
@@biblethumper8088girl that’s crazy
If this is like America, you should tell him to divorce his wife and say you are interested. Then after he's done with the expense and timely legal and financial stuff just say never mind and block him. It's likely that you'll save that other women a lot of time and divorce court usually favors women so he'd likely lose a lot.
@@rabidfirefox8914 oh no I don't mess with karma. Every situation that presents itself to u gives u a chance to handle it right or wrong. Even though he's wrong to begin with I would never suggest breaking a family, just for the sake of his wife and kids not him. So I don't wanna do all that and get bad karma coming to me later in life.
The placeholder position is the reason I refuse any man is completely single. Even the ones that claim they refrain from dating. That primitive predator energy is in their DNA. Even the mens movement focuses on building yourself up to eventually be in a place to use women they way they want.
One doesn't need to be "in love" to marry. It's here in the West one is reqiured to "fall in love" to get married. We often choose people we're in love with and attracted to instead of choosing people we're compatible with. The fact that you are both in love with each other doesn't mean both are right for each other.
First of all it doesn’t make any sense asking any of these type of men why they like you ..because they know what they’re doing and they know how to manipulate you and answer you to keep you blind to what they are doing. Your best bet is to see what’s happening by their actions, follow your intuition and be done with it be gone goodbye.
Starting the day with another sistah video ❤❤❤
Hope you enjoyed it!
the man with a. beer in his hand who said 'I'm not sure' at the end..I'm telling you thats predatory vibes right there
Love and support from Texas ❤
A whole alot of women are a placeholder.i have 1ex Boyfriend and an ex friend from 17years ago that still begging me to come back together again.while they been waisting other women time,years and wombs.some of those women knew that they still love me even told me that to my face.but they still chose to stay🤦🏾♀️.
The funny thing is 17years ago i was such a bad girl and they did everything for me but i didnt even lift a finger for them.hmmm men
No one can waste your time if you don't let them! I met an elderly couple that Re married but they didn't have families while they were apart. I worker if he took care of his child over seas?
What's that song back in the 60's If you can't be with the one you love. Then love the one you're with.
If you make sure you’re getting $$$ out of a man none of this matters.
The one they want is always the one who said…..✋🏽not interested. It’s that rejection they can’t get over, not her. She coulda been anybody. Lol
The only thing about the first one is that he shouldn't have married that woman if he didn't love her enough to consider her just as worthy as the first woman. We all have multiple true loves in our lifetime, if you're open to that concept. But the point is to value them as ANOTHER true love, not a runner up or someone whose just good enough for the time being.
Because yes, the third time is a charm, but ladies if you tell a man, "No means no" then by that logic he should never ask again. Not for another date, not for your time and energy, no for anything moving forward. So I don't have any problem with the man moving on, finding another woman to marry, and even if they divorce. Becuase it just might not work out. BUT my issue is that he kept the first woman in his heart all that time to keep going BACK to her. So if it's always in your heart to have that person, don't you dare waste someone else's time while you're waiting for your window of opportunity.
Let the one that got away BE the one that got away.
This was not the personal attack I was expecting today😂 I found myself a placeholder for a year. I thought ‘I can make him want ME over her’ naaaaw, they know which one they want.
Well, on the second video... If you look at it from Italian girl's perspective, if he had rejected her, she would wonder why she wasn't good enough, and maybe he thought he could be passing up someone valuable. But, yeah, I agree it was time wasted.
Ok
Girl she has options Him eh
Relationships don't have to last forever to be classified as successful. I just hope he's still in his kid's life
He still rejected her which we can argue would hurt far more than the initial rejection so I don’t get ur point
I heard that men are with women who they find approachable, not exactly they interested in. they choose a safe option a low maintenance not demanding women, while actually longing for a 'pretty' women that have zero interest in them.
To know if your a place holder will mostly be exposed unintentionally. Usually through actions or conversations. Some men will flat out tell you there’s another women. You need be willing to let go of heavy weight to truly get what you deserve.
Amanda said you want tuna with all the mercury and i feel personally attacked😂😂😂
Why it should cost men money to be in proximity to a woman.
Men will think twice to deal with you if you cost 100dollar/ hour while youre not his dream girl.
I was a place holder for 7 years. It left me empty, broken and worn. I refuse to be in another relationship before I am whole. I have been happily single for 7 years.
Single and celibate by choice for 7 years too. Haven’t met anyone I could see a healthy and lasting relationship with. Now I don’t even care anymore because giving people a chance is too stressful and the risk is not worth the reward
Lord please protect me and all the other ladies from disingenuous love.
Why ask him why when men lie?
Actions will show you, no need to ask them anything. It's about his actions. Is he consistent, does he plan dates, does he wait before trying to have you in his bed, etc. etc.
If a day passes without hearing from him, if he doesn't take you out on dates often, he needs to go. Don't even explain anything to him, just ignore and neeext.
I think it is a good idea to ask him why he wants to be in a relationship with you and what he likes about you.
I know he might lie but it will be an unexpected question and I think it would help to see what answer he comes up with. Is he just saying the standard things he thinks a woman wants to hear or is he able to express something personal about himself or you.
No no no don’t ask move insilent! Real ones move n plotting accordingly IN SILENCE do u to other as they do unto you
@@anka6356 💯
@@Lilzki That is not as unexpected of a question as you want to believe it is. Men like that play from the same handbook. Even if he looks surprised to you it's all for show.
My friend dated this guy and she's out of his league way way out and his friend starts to show interest in me and I asked him why me ,😂😂😂 he never asked again because I was not interested in him at all .
People don't understand is that this is the way you generate generational trauma and curses onto your family and all the children that are in their lineage. If people would see dating from a spiritual perspective, they would think twice haha
Thank you for this ❤
This is why I always ask people... how can someone protect themself from a lie? Tell the truth and say it with your chest.
I used to occupy my time with males I wasn’t interested in to fill time
@@christopherbrown5409nothing we didn’t learn from our fellow leaders
@@christopherbrown5409So it's only immoral if women turn the tables. 😁
Me too quite frankly
@@Childfree334literally not what the person said and deep down u prolly know that
@@nyeguono NO, that is exactly what he meant. Notice this video is about men wasting women's time. He said nothing about that. He only said it is an immoral action under the comment section of a WOMAN who said she does the same to men. That is what he is offended by. Notice he never said "an immoral action no matter who is doing it." You have ZERO common sense or discernment.
When they call us bitter...this is why. I'm going to remain single or I'll end up in prison.
Women do this, too, though. People shouldn't be waiting on one person forever and but they should at least be equally or even more into the person they move on to next. And sometimes, whether you're male or female or non binary. The person you wanted so bad is not even that great for you. Just be honest with yourself and everyone you deal with. These things wouldn't be an issue.
lol they even married the one they don’t want. I’m very demanding if he does not respond well I move on. Ladies not settle for crumbs. Don’t put with bs
About more than ten years ago, i was probably 28, i had a so called situationship" with a guy, we used to go to this gothic bar, he talked to me on facebook, told me he wanted to meet me, for about two years he would be super flirty with me, made plans to be together as a couple and then nothing happens, i saw him a couple of times but super late at night, i tryed to stay away but he would promise again and again. Until i started dating a guy and i when he contacted me again i told him to stop it, that i was with somebody and i was not interested at all in someone how disrespected me so much.....more tahn 10 years later, the guy still calling me and texting me at least twice a year. I have told him so many times to stop, but no....he is gonna continue trying for 15 to 20 years....oh well.
Is changing your number and email not an option? I’m not understanding.
Learning that most men choose not their dream women but whoever they can get is really scary.
"You just want tuna with all the mercury when you could've had salmon." I don’t l know why that was so funny😂
The best thing about being single is that nobody gets to ruin my life but me-- and THAT is something I can control.
That brother spoke facts💯
Get a passport and go where? I have global entry… how is that supposed to impact my dating life lol 😂
omg, I got that reference.... "turtles all the way down" roflmao Shout out to the Jeff Mara Podcast
there's an easy way to screen if he thinks you are the one. He will provide, he will protect. He won't sing about 50/50 . You know when you are his dream girl easily
Thank You ❤❤❤❤😊
Not sure what having a passport have to do with not accepting disrespect and abuse. She missed the part where men lie about how they feel about you, lie sbout being in a relationship with you. Some of them lie and fake so well, that you only realize it or the truth comes out when they finallly drop their mask. When they meet the one they really want. Don't blame the person who is being lied to, but the liar.
Shera 7 said it best 💔
I blocked an ex
Expecting a man to wait for you when you keep telling him “no” is unrealistic though. Be real. If a woman really wanted to be with a man, but he said no… we wouldn’t expect HER to stay single and wait 😒
Thats not the problem. The problem is to then move onto a partner you dont have actual feelings for and play with their time and emotions. If you dont love someone, dont date them and dont play them for a fool. its really simple if you have a heart
Lol i talk to multiple men if im not married im single and this video is the reason why may the best man win💅💅😊
Ladies let wait and trust God to give us our best instead of letting different men hurt us
I don’t think women do that.
80 at the end it the only way things will change is that everybody will be alone or there'll be more violence. He chose to behave the way he does because of who he is not what you do and do not tolerate
I just believe in reasons and seasons.. people take it wayy too personally when someone doesnt attach themselves to them forever.. people grow, change some don't but whats important is are becoming self reflective enough to be able to enage qith people respectfully, detach when not, communicate yours and understand others needs bettwr and learning the art of maintaining relationships and emotional balancw in challenging times.. ao times peopke really arwnt ready for the people they come into contact with but regret not being able to make the best of that chance at the time..
Ummmm, I'm sorry, but why is any of this surprising to anyone? Men think about sex like every 4 seconds. They connect sexually, while women connect emotionally. So thinking that a man will just stay abstinent and lonely if he is in love with a woman he can't have is really naive. Now, I am a firm believer that everyone out here should, at some point in their life (especially men) practice abstinence. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental meditative discipline that is good for you all around. BUT, society is teaching everyone these days that sex means nothing, that it equals freedom, and girl boss status...... so what do these women think is happening? Men are gonna shoot their shot, and if you give it up, they won't say no. It's up to you to say no and set your boundaries and expectations. Be the one they can't have and have to chase. Instead of the one who gets got at word go.
12:00 Fuck socialism ma’am. When was the last time you said “the IRS is so efficient”… do you want hospitals to be the same way? Ma’am what?
10:40 what the hell does having a passport have to do with being intelligent 🤔
The first woman 100% completely real 💯💯💯