Nonchalant Or Emotionally Unavailable Men Are The Worst |Stop Dating Damaged men
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ธ.ค. 2023
- People discuss why nonchalant or emotional unavailable men are the worst in dating and relationships and why is it’s important to stop dating damaged men.
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Don’t date people who don’t care about you.
💯💯
It’s called indifference, the polar opposite of love. If you feel this energy, run!!!!
Exactly💯💯
As a wise man once said "The opposite of love is not hate but indifference"
Yes! I figured this out in my early 20s. I word it a little differently but it means the same thing.
The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy.
If someone hates their ex they are probably not completely over the situation. I knew I was truly over my toxic first love when I no longer cared about him in any regard. I didn’t wish him any ill will, but it just did not matter to me.
I dated a guy like this. I got bored with his demeanor really quickly. When I told him I was exiting because he just seeded really disinterested, boring, and unromantic he tried to convince me otherwise. It didn’t work. Some people are just weird in a bad way.
Exactly. Men like this are boring. I think it more women saw it that way, they wouldn't get so caught up in "drawing them out" or healing them or whatever. A bored man is a boring man, point-blank, period.
Same here. Just got rid of one of these a few months ago.
You hit it right on the nail . #THEYWEIRD
Yea I was messing with an Aries like this. super boring I get bored fast asf. I’m very animated and open with my emotions
“Some people are just weird in a bad way” 🤣 saving this!
So true. I’m no longer sugar coating it and will be using this statement. Ahah
See here's what pisses me (and most women) off.
I get that men get hurt too. I get that men will put their heart on their sleeve, get rejected, or told that they're too "this" and not enough of "that" and I get that it can hurt and leave them feeling inadequate. And this is all largely due to their patriarchal social conditioning but that's a conversation for another day. . .
The part that pisses me off is that no matter what happens, leaving women the fxxk alone never enters their mindspace. Attempting to learn how to be happy and whole and healed, never enters the chat. I'm sick and tired of men taking their hurt and then trying to defend their "right" to throw it back into the universe as a way of punishing women for not picking them. The whole "misery loves company" sh*t with them is so annoying.
I've been hurt by men too, you know what I did?? I left them alone. I focused on myself and and my own self betterment. I put my time, effort, and energy into healing and into positive endeavors. I swear men love to defend their "right" to never heal from sh*t.
I agree 💯
omg thank you. lots of us out here taking accountability , going to therapy, trying to grow etc.
also why do they act like only they know rejection? i mean im afab and nonbinary but i’ve been rejected plenty and i accept it and either be friends or move on. sure it doesnt always feel great and thats valid but. why would you even want to be with someone who isn’t interested in you? so weird…
It's because they literally cannot live a happy life without a woman cleaning behind their a** and helping them cope with their own BS behavior. Men need women to save themselves from themselves. That's why they will never leave us alone and continue to invade our spaces. It's so bad that they fight to go inside our restrooms just because they think they're women now that they wear womanly things. Go figure and hence why we hold the ultimate power because we have the final say on things either going their way or our way if we want to.
I hate how when a man is sick, hurt or broken hearted there’s a steady stream of justification from how men can’t deal with emotions well or they struggle too it just looks different, and everyone copes their own way.
When women are hurt, sick or heartbroken she needs therapy to get over it, or she’s a hypochondriac and so on.
No one ever puts pressure on men to get therapy to get over it.
And don’t even get me started on how they act like cheating is on the level of grape, or unaliving.
So well said and spot on! 💯
It's another word for cold men. I don't date men like this, I'd rather be single ❤❤
That Ish is draining and time consuming
Totally draining, that's why I'm staying single ❤
Yall cap.
I avoid men who don't show that they are interested in me. If you act like you don't care, then neither do I. I'm not wasting my time. The *best* relationships are ones in which *both* people are excited about each other and giving each other the same energy!
Not me..I'm not interested in dismantling men's psychosis and why they play emotionally unintelligent head games! 🙄🙄🙄
I just left a man who was this way, as he treated me like an afterthought. Of course I believed him when he said he would change and show love but he didn't...six years I wasted on a man who was nonchalant. Ladies...if he is this way, show him the door. Don't waste time thinking he will drop the walls with a little more love. Even if he will eventaully...it isn't worth your heart or mental sanity to put up with their mediocre offerings until they decide to open up and show love. No.
Amen 🙏🏾 😊
If I'm thirsty I'll just go get a drink
I won't keep searching for a date women are not raised to chase after men like that and be thirsty because that's a man's role to chase after his dream girl it ruins the mystery of a woman if she has to chase you.
You have to really consider how sick some of these men are out there are even if you go outside the country I've seen men in the comments trying to normalize marrying there cousins saying things like well a few men did this and there children came out fine!
Yeah but there still going to feel like they shouldn't be here.
I can't believe women find themselves having these discussions those same Islam women decided to join the military instead and I'm pretty sure western women would make the same decision we would rather be drafted too then be out into unatural living situations with grown men.
He's over there saying, "but western women smoke and drink!"
What's that have to do with marrying your own family members? Or knocking up teenage girls?
I could be drunk and still know that's a lot more gross than being a lesbian because at least we can't get each other pregnant.
Yep
It's crazy how they beg so much for forgiveness and love bomb so hard and then they equaliy also eventually make you feel like you are weak and stupid for giving them that chance and they will come back with a revenge. They love showing you you have no boundaries and they can walk all over you.
I actually looked this up because a girl I really like told me I'm attractive when I'm nonchalant but in person I'm a lover boy and it turns her off. She literally said when I'm nonchalant I'm like Bryson Tiller
Non-chalant is a game ordinary guys use to lure in beautiful independent women out of their league. They act unbothered to hurt/ crash your ego. If someone acts like this from the start, this is highly manipulative and why would you wanna go with someone who wanna crash you soul?
These men have avoidant attachment and it usually stems from childhood trauma surrounding neglect. They usually have difficulty processing emotion , both yours and their own. Attachment theory shows two types of avoidance- dismissive avoidance and fearful avoidance. They usually have difficulty changing and tend to pull away harder the more they start having feelings for you. They find it easier to be with women who they care little about and so they do not have to deal with the expectations that come with emotional connection.
Hmmm ok thanks for enlightening me❤
Very true. You can push them towards a more secure attachment style if you can get them to share some of their feelings but it is a LOT of work and you need to know you're signing up for that.
@@Liz-wz8dhgo ahead and put that cape on and try to save him if you want, if you're not the one he wants to open up for, he'll show you much better than he can tell you, I promise
@@Liz-wz8dhYes!! And they also need to want to put in the work themselves! If they are not interested in changing and you have to put in all the energy to “fix” them, you’re going to be exhausted. It’s not our responsibility to heal adults who aren’t interested in healing themselves
I can relate to this as I am the same except I’m a woman. The problem with this is that it’s kind of the way I was wired, I’ve literally been this person my entire life it wasn’t really a learned behaviour 😅 I also happen to have adhd. For some people it’s not a trauma response or just wanting attention and energy, for some of us it just be like that🤷🏽♀️ I know majority of people aren’t wired the same way I am but there are some who are like me. Processing emotions is A LOT😅
I almost got into a relationship like this, but thankfully saw the signs and pulled the plug. Then I realised I want someone who is all in and it’s not my job to fix someone who hasn’t worked through their past relationship issues. Guys be hung up about their ex from grade 8 and think it’s okay to drag that bin bag around for decades.
I was in a relationship with a guy who was still hung up on this girl that cheated on him (supposedly) when he was 16. He was 26 when we got together.
You mean to tell me you held onto a high school relationship for a whole decade and now other women have to suffer for it? 😅
Glad I'm out of that
@@AverageHuman-en2ktThats crazy. These guys need therapy for real.
@@Aquariuswonder86these guys egos are so fragile and insecure…
@@maryc3102 I swearrr 🤦🏽♀️ it’s so exhausting to deal with.
@AverageHuman-en2kt wtf 😳 I think it happened to me recently- I unplug real quick after being drained and disrespected bad
They really don't like women, they only like how we look and how we can benefit them. Is it that they're emotionally unavailable, or only when it comes towards women?? Males are emotionally available for each other tho from what I see. They have this brohood bond that's borderline romantic
So true!!!!
Oh wow you got me thinking now 🤔 they really don’t like us women !
@@meababy5409 They really don't, we're just convenient for them
😆
People are not careless with the things that matter to them. ❤
That Part 💯
*Especially men!* when they give a shit, there is no stopping them
Exactly! I had to accept that my ex husband didn’t care for me to treat me in the manner he did. We hate to admit that because we assume it means we have a defect. My grandma told me “half the time the way people treat you ain’t about you” it rang so true in my marriage.
@@gigga693 Your not alone.
If u look at it that way. Also accept he is showing and saying he doesn't care about u. This can go both ways
Any man I let near me, I tell them I have one rule: *If we're not having fun, we can leave, no hard feelings.* I don't have time for disinterested, too-cool-for-school types. I'm passionate, love to laugh and clown around, cry when I'm happy or upset ... I've been through a lot in my life, nearly died several times and I'm committed to living joyfully. A BORED man is a BORING man, its that simple. So when they pull some nonchalant crap or say I'm being overly emotional, I'll remind them of my one rule and then leave. There's no sense being around someone who's committed to demonstrating how much they DON'T care about you or life in general. And the really funny thing is: half the times when I leave, suddenly they turn around and become the exact opposite of nonchalant! Blowing up my phone, tripping over themselves to apologize, promising to change, sending me gifts or cash or flowers. By then its too late, and they've only made it worse by PROVING that the nonchalance was an act.
If you act this way as a woman, you are called jaded, ran through, have too much baggage, the list goes on
I almost married a man who never cared about me. If I got emotional, he would leave. If I was in emotional ruin, he would tell me he was going to come support me, but he would put it off to play video games. Turns out he was incapable of love and lying to me about being in love with me. Eventually he cared so little that I got him to admit that. I also found out he told many people he loved them... He actually also had some serious anger issues, it was just semi-hidden.
Thank goodness you found him out and dodged a lifetime of suffering 🤗❤
@@Priscilla_Boye Yes, thank goodness! I would likely be in the midst of a messy divorce right now had things landed differently. Thankfully he didn't care about his own proposal much either. 😂
Yep
I’m so sorry, love. Ppl like that can and will drive you absolutely crazy with the lies and gaslighting.
❤️💛
Girlll, you dodged a bullet like neo.
A guy just tried this with me. Read that ass for filth. He still tried to rope me back in and I left it on read. Nonchalant is 100% manipulative. No matter if it comes from trauma or just selfishness
Think it’s a self protection and control response
@@AnnieeBubble yes it’s a to some kind of internal insecurity but it’s still manipulative. They are using underhanded tactics to gain control over the situation. Ignoring/neglecting someone can amount to emotional abuse, depending on the context. But at the very least, it’s mean and hurtful. To keep doing after your partner has brought it up or had gotten hurt, shows that you’re selfish and inconsiderate.
I just don’t think there’s an innocent spin you place on this. It’s beyond being oblivious to someone’s interest in the beginning stages or still getting to understand the other persons needs/love language.
Nonchalant is like dating a dead corpse
Just left a relationship like this about two weeks ago. I called him a brick wall but corpse is way funnier lmao
As opposed to a living corpse? But yeah, you're correct, that sounds like hell
yup all maybe stress
Still recovering from my damaged self esteem from being w an unavailable/nonchalant guy for 3 years when I tell you it was emotional torment in a way I've never experienced..had me in one of the lowest points of my life. 0000/10 don't EVERRR do it I held onto the belief he'd eventually come around bc he'd tell me he "just needed time" "didn't wanna rush" "just let it happen naturally" uff ..ladies give it 3 months max and pack your (mental) shit
The man at the 12:00 mark had it right. Here's some advice for women. Treat a man according to his ACTIONS, not his words. Do not waste your time asking him dumb questions: "Where do you see us going?" Huh? If he wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with you, he would tell you. Until then, you are single and available to date other men.
"How could you do this to me?" Girl, please. That man wasn't even thinking about you.
He's nonchalant? Fine. Either leave him or treat him like a b*tycall. No sleeping over, no meals, no blocking up your schedule, no boyfriend privileges because he is NOT your boyfriend.
Nonchalant/ unemotionally unavailable = avoidant attachment
Hot ~ cold so you become emotionally obsessed.
Even a secure person can become anxiously attached either due to lack of experience or hidden trauma..
Fuck out of here with this bs last talking stage with with a man who was non chalant he drove me insane it's turned me off having anymore relationships ever ever again I'm literally done ❤ thank you very much
It's not a trick, most men don't have a skill for manipulation and are generally not capable of being cold, but it's what women respond to, there are no videos like "girl he double and triple texted me, offered to wash the dishes fold the clothe, let me cry on his shoulder while i complain about my ex's and I was so turned on I gave him the best s*x ever" it's not all about that but again it's not a thing, some guys do fake it here and there but some guys myself included are coldly indifferent. She tells herself "he's playing games he's doing this he's doing that" when in reality I am borderline incapable of caring for a a few reasons. Me not responding for 2 weeks isn't a trick and for most men who do it, it's not a trick, the worry that women are putting themselves through for guys that don't deserve it is a self inflicted wound, giving everything to someone who doesn't deserve it and nothing to the guys that have done "everything right"
@@RecursiveENTP If someone isn’t texting me back they aren’t worth my time. I block them straight away. It doesn’t make you a good quality human being. Just flacky. Trick or not
@@ruthmchuwen ok fair
The thing is they get a lot of attention from women because initially they appear confident and calm. And then proceed to lose most of those initially interested women because soon the "confident and calm" façade is revealed to be disconnection and unavailability. They don't realize they get a lot of attention but lose most of it upon second inspection...
I don’t understand how that nonchalant tactic works because if a man is nonchalant toward me, I lose respect for him because it makes him seem shallow and uninteresting himself. Like…if you’re nonchalant with me, something is wrong with you lol. How could I be thirsty for a defective?
“I don’t like nonchalant, I like chalant” - ❤😂
The most frustrating aspect of nonchalant behavior is that is a tactic used by men when they are not dating for love, but dating for resources that a woman can provide (sex and emotional support). When relationships are gamified, dating becomes a sport, that is removed of emotional depth and care. It is truly unfortunate that women have to constantly figure out if a man is playing games. It’s not to say that women can’t/don’t engage the same way, however, men benefit from this behavior differently because we live in a patriarchy
They never lose
This thought that only women provide sex is dangerous, this belief is everything that the porn industry is supported.
it's so crazy because the same can be said about women. Don't women look for men with resources?
@@mugisama779 women are more likely to be seeking a relationship, even if resources are often one of the criteria of entering a relationship. Most men can't see women as human and want a free therapy or interchangeable holes to penetrate a time or a few before discarding, yet pretending they want more to get the ego boost of a woman trying to tie them down. They market it that way to women: the women they will use for a good time, vs the women they may settle down with, and the one who roped him won the "prize" even if he cheats with or spends a ton of cash (OF, str/p clubs) on the other. It's all a massive, systematic mindgame from a bunch of sociopaths. That's the difference.
Nonchalant mess men don't get a second date from me.
This was so triggering, but I triggered through it. I'm here as a survivor of a nonchalant man and it does not get better. The nonchalance evolves to disdain as they grow annoyed with your continued attempts to connect with them emotionally and grow into emotional maturity. Soon as you realize he doesn't care, get your shit and GO! Expeditiously
They get like this by shoving all their feelings down and having low emotional maturity. Some of these men haven't cried since childhood. If hes terribly out of tune with his emotions, then how's he gonna take care of yours? These men will end up being emotionally abusive if you get too close
I've just got out of ones of those toxic relationships I'm glad he have me an out wheeew child thank you God next
They push the mental and emotional load onto women. I dated a guy like this who couldnt communicate basic feelings or emotions. He would literally go check hisself into the VA hospital and pretend to he sick after any serious conversations. I got rid of him cause wtf is that all about?
True a lot of guys lack communication skills and some of them try to intimidate women with outbursts of anger, gaslighting and manipulation.
I experienced the same thing. Everytime I held him accountable for his bad behavior, mental breakdown or illness. It’s so manipulative. Smh.
Lol these people are ridiculous
So dramatic! 🤣
@@lovelyloner I had one call me abusive for holding him responsible for bad behavior lol boy bye
Quit dating BM.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💯
100%
it’s not even just a black man thing! i’ve dated black men who were super caring, empathetic & affectionate; my uncle & grandpa are also those kinds of men. but i’ve also dated white men & a hispanic (mestizo) man, and while they were sympathetic towards social issues or friends, they would grow very cold and distant the minute it got to our interpersonal issues. and i mean ignoring you until the idea of them showing up better in the relationship was just not a topic anymore. they’d literally run from the idea of being emotionally available & changing. i think it’s just any damaged man who’s in denial about it yet still actively dating.
trust me it is all men.....my ginger ex and my blonde ex are like this too
@@serenitygilles7064exactly! It’s men, period.
I used to be interested in a guy who was very nonchalant but I gave up after a few weeks lol. I don't have time for those kinds of games. If you're not trying then I'm gone. Be a human not a robot.
I just went through this, it was horrible- and that’s exactly what you said- they just want us to suffer
They refuse go get over an ex and now your are paying for their laziness to seek therapy.
@@lealmelisa exactly
@@jenbodhi1133 I send you strenght! we don't need that crap
They think women have it easy and they secretly hate women for their success
I would never want to be with a man who consciously treated another woman badly. These “nonchalant” men need therapy as do the women who chase them because they are probably co-dependent.
I don’t see how giving my energy to multiple men is a solution to dealing with one man? It’s ok to focus on one person at a time and move on when he’s not giving you what you need. Don’t fill up your time with other men, focus on yourself, focusing on cultivating good female relationships and doing something that allows you to give back to society. Don’t fill up your time with these men who will just use your energy. They have to prove themselves and if they aren’t doing right, leave
and maybe just be busy with self development and hobbies instead not other men
100%
Look, if you are constantly chasing emotionally unavailable people, you are also emotionally unavailable. Otherwise, you would be seeking people who are excited to be around you and actively make space for you in their lives.
I agree with not settling for a non- chalant man. My dad is this character. He is a non-chalant narcissist. It is very difficult to get any validation from him. Please don't seek long-term relationships with men like this! You can't find them. They need to heal first!
I don't like how instead of encouraging xys to act like humans we are more fixated on telling women how to navigate their inhumanity. Nobody is born non chalant, its a learned behavior so we not gon act like xys are just hardwired to be emotionally unavailable robots and WE women are responsible for working around it and avoiding it.
I disagree it’s heterosexual male nature. Women just haven’t accepted that.
You're wrong.@@adriandillon8102
@@adriandillon8102 they are humans at the end of the day whether it’s their so called nature or not they are capable of learning and adapting. They don’t have a reason to change so they keep these maladaptive behaviors cause y’all don’t expect better.
@@adriandillon8102it’s not. It’s socialised behaviour from birth. You should check out the studies on how little boys are more emotional than girls on average, and through their education and upbringing become these emotionally unavailable creatures. You should look it up
Men and women are nor the same period
Yes I’ve tried the nonchalant. I spent the entire relationship trying to get his attention until I got fed up. He called me crying after I left him.
The healthiest way to use nonchalance is to be emotionally detached from people's negativity and life's general depressive moments, the low life energy thrown at you, doesn't define something within you, it's just external projection from haters
In my bad era, I LOVED nonchalant men. They were my favorite simply because the game of making them fall and then I became nonchalant. Because you’re not nonchalant for REAL sir.
And the first guy contradicted himself a bit. He’s just hurt.
Hmm do you mind expanding ?
@@munix9351 sorry, I was at work.
What part?
Same , twisted their whole identity up “ and leave when they wanna change . I’m like I didn’t want that or ask for that .mind ur business don’t mind mine
The meowing cat was just such a perfect vibe for this channel 😂❤
Apparently they are that way because we're not their dream girls
Thing is, they’re NOBODY’s dream man either. The kind of woman they want to date would NEVER give them a chance.
Sounds like they need to lower that body count. They let the city girls use them up and now they’re bitter. And the next woman has to deal with it
This is yet another rehash. It falls under mistreatment. And we have already talked about how we should respond to mistreatment. We have already discussed that hurt people hurt people. Nonchalant people are hurt persons.
Stop messing with them when they hurt you.
Nonchalant people don’t want to deal with your emotional issues but trust and believe when they need emotional support they will come to you for it!
Facts
Not the cat in the back agreeing 😂
😹😹😹😹
"we're told that we're being manipulative" yea because you're being manipulative? So instead of being sincere you just find new ways to manipulate that are less obvious lol
The very first guy who spoke with the locs was just throwing a bunch of ideas together. He really didn't know what he was talking about
All my date-rapists were nonchalant type. Looking like they don't care so much, that you would lower your guards, just so they could take advantage
This!
The first guy was never a nice guy. The fact that he said women considered him *manipulative* when he was being a “gentleman” says a lot. That’s not a normal response from women. I’m willing to bet he was the type who thought being nice entitled him to sex and attention. Or that if he is a “friend” then it will transition to something else.
You are very beautiful ! Us women need to stop accepting the bare minimum, nonchalant should not be sexy in our eyes! Match the energy, be nonchalant too.
Thank you ☺️
Be chalant! 😂 Nice one.
I was just told it’s gregarious 😂😂
I like the Chalant!
😂😂
I've been on again and off with the type for years. He was impossible. However, I loved him and believed that what we had was love. It was codependency! Steer clear! They will punish you for their heartbreaks, breadcrumb you forever and manipulate you into thinking they actually value you. Thank god I'm freed from him! I'm so grateful!
Hurt people hurt people.
Folks have to be more discerning and extremely conscientious when choosing a moral, stable minded and caring partner.
Dated a guy like this - he would trauma dump, act like a man child, and wouldn't take accountability - I finally found peace of mind when I got rid of him nor did he ever express how he felt. He had the nerve to message me back trying to get with me and I said nope 🙅♀️. He had serious mommy issues and was toxic af.
Ngl, but this nonchalant charade is teetering on nice guy territory. I hope this act fools no woman
Exactly! And the "Nice Guy" is one of the worst males 🧐👹🤛🏾
oh my… i am the non-chalant woman (aka dismissive avoidant attachment style). plenty of men out there so i take my time and ignore them, and focus on what i want. nothing is as great as putting 98% of your energy into yourself.
Based on what the guy in the du-rag said...we aint that different sir. Maybe its just me. But if i aint feeling u, it dont matter. I want something specific not just any ol man who might be nice-ish. Maybe that sound bad but i want what i want and im not settling for anything less just to have a man. If it dont come it just dont come. Im cool either way. But i dont want a nonchalant man either. But i agree with the girl who said grounded vs nonchalant.
Some guys are nonchalant about their own feelings, but fine and react well to mine
The emotionally unavailable man for whatever reason still get me interested, and some also pursue me before they give up. There's even one in my life who can't be bothered to ever talk to me privately. He can talk for hours with other people though just fine. Even had a different dude say he "can't do socializing" to me, but socialized perfectly fine with his friends.
It's still a tough pill to swallow when faced with the conclusion "he's just not into you". I'm trying to be more logical over emotional with these men. Because they cannot tell me honestly and to my face they don't like me in that way. Has happened each and every time.
The fact you’re still interested in emotionally unavailable men makes me question if you grew up in a dysfunctional household, or without your father in your life! Sometimes growing up without affection or healthy forms of love, makes us comfortable with the absence of love! It’s familiar to us, And emotionally unavailable men are the epitome of being absent of love. So you chase! Trying to get the love from them.. it’s toxic. You still have healing to do. Because logically you should NOT want someone who does NOT want you 🤷🏼♀️
*IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN A RELATIONSHIP AND HALF-ASS....JUST TO SAY "I've been hurt" THEN YOU NEED TO STAY SINGLE...GO GET HEALED BEFORE GETTING IN A RELATIONSHIP... IT'S NOT FAIR TO THE OTHER PERSON WHO DID NOTHING TO YOU*
You’re going to attract all kinds of ppl especially if you’re beautiful but if you choose that unavailable/ non chalant person you may be unavailable emotionally as well. It took me 30 yrs to realize that I too was emotionally unavailable it just showed up in different ways. Change yourself then the ppl you entertain will be for you . Friends and all.
I stayed so long with a man that was like this - it’s terrible and I should’ve left at the first sign!
In other words if someone isn’t into you. Spending time with you. Taking you seriously. Investing and interested. Just dismiss yourself. You know know he already is not interested n nothing you do or say will change that. Block and move forward
I think being nonchalant or emotionally unavailable doesn’t only apply to relationships, but it’s an undesired personality type! Like I dealt with nonchalant men whose personality is so boring, it’s like I’m talking to a wall 😂 those ended quickly! And I also had a doctor who acted this way just cold & matter of fact… I couldn’t even open up to them! So I got a new doctor who I felt more of a connection with. People with these personality type make others feel unwanted, undesired, uninterested & a whole lot of other things. It’s a lot of cons! That’s why these type of people are perpetually single smh
The guy said he doesn't like you but he will sleep with you and he will string you alone😢😢😢
Thankyou beautiful ❤ The last part of the video was perfect. I couldn't have worded it better myself
Nonchalant might also be due to whatever he had available has already been attached to someone else...like his mum. My ex pretended to care about me, but once we married, ALL of his everything a partner should be was reserved for his mum. He was shopping for another mum, but provides seggs on demand. crist on a bicycle. the best and worst day of the relationship was realization day. I realized what a fool I had been and I realized what a fool I would no longer be. the best day afterwards was divorce finalized day.
DIVESTTTT.
I think the 1st guy is misinterpreting the initial interest women have the same way he likely misinterpreted what people were saying or his belief that he was “nice”. Likely nice = smothering. Nonchalant is kind of normal in the beginning compared to love bombing behavior. But then when your feelings don’t evolve it causes toxicity. By the way, this is not being a bad boy. It’s just being a boy. You have over corrected sir.
what most are explaining is emotionally unavailable and emotionally neglecting the person... most men do this to have the upper hand and they know women will chase them and beg them for a phone call or text... or it will create some unhealthy attachment where she feels this constant anxiety rush
... but its not anxiety.. its an adrenaline rush... eventually they create chronic stress and health problems when this continues which mimics things like high glucose and your pressure to be constantly elevated.. this is not love this is where they always have power and control and want sex immediately so they can have you trapped in this unhealthy soul tie.. and I've worked with a lottttt of men in a lot of male industries and they tell on themselves all the time.. also they are mostly on drugs which can also disconnect their emotions and also have no emotional intelligence what so ever or conflict resolution skills.. or even communication skills.. (most) so I honestly wouldn't even trip or get mad.. once you know this its very easy to be laid back and leave..
My husband became like this. Big no no.
This just sounds like narcissistic manipulation.
The opposite of nonchalant is gregarious
Ok thank you ☺️
Everything here is true. I seeked out the nonchalant and emotionally unavailable men who cannot commit six times because i seek out something in them to fill a void of my childhold wounds caused by emotionally unavailable parents. These happened six times with different nonchalant men. Literally a survivor of 6 different nonchalant men. Ended in therapy 😅 This took a toll in my mental health and i don't want to have a dating life anymore. I decenter men now amd i am much happier. I recently dealt with a nonchalant man who ghosted me but did not removed the socials and since i am done and traumatized too much i just blocked him. Goodbye 😑🙄
Why would I even EVER consider such a man? 😂 do I not love myself?? Such a man could neva”
And they never pay attention. And you tell me about your love language and they don't even care😢
Being nonchalant is pretending not to care. In other words, dishonest, even to themselves. It's kind of a silly but really sad strategy. These people would do better to get some therapy, learn some healthy boundaries, and learn to express their needs, while being able to walk away if someone mistreats them. Heck, we could all use some of that.
My ex first lovebombed me and when we were married he played the emotional unavailable role up to 100%. He treated the neighbours better than his wife. No love. No kissing. No talking. No forgiving. No working on the relationship. When I asked why he said „I do not know why I treat you so badly“. After 11years divorce and I am a mental wreck.
All I got from this video was: If they could, they will
Sounds like…getting with the wrong folks and getting upset that they don’t see y’all the same way. Find someone who appreciates ALL of you and not just tolerate you for the sake of being in “relationship”. Acting “nonchalant” is another word for being a gaslighting a-hole tbh
I hate nonchalant men as well. I cant
Aquarius men
...And Virgo men
💯💯💯
Oh really
My God yes! Aquarius men are terrible with being emotionally unavailable.
Yesss Aquarius men suck at expressing themselves! I definitely wont be messing with them again !💯💯
The problem is society tells you it's okay for you to put up a (perfectly natural) defense mechanism. But it tells US to be constantly pleasing, emotionally available - more than that, an emotional sponge, and to never be unhappy with the fact that you are nonchalant, detached, unavailable, and like a concrete wall.
I say perfectly natural because the same thing happened to me and then I stopped trying to get into relationships, only played around. (Happy days btw), and I was better off, so I don't blame men for doing this. I understand completely.
The thing is if you stay this way, you will be lonely. You will be unfulfilled. You will be unsatisfied because all of your relationships or situationships whatever will be superficial, surface level only and therefor EMPTY.
And you can't blame women as a whole for the fact that you were playing all defense
when you should have taken a look at the playbook and just planned a better strategy.
You have to GIVE if you want to be happy. You have to be vulnerable if you want to be happy.
YOU HAVE TO LEARN IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY. Yes it sucks. Yes, it hurts. But what else are you gonna do? Stay hurt and rejected and alone your whole life?
This Was A Good Video, Your Hair Looks Amazing Btw ✨
Thank you so much 😀 glad you enjoyed it 🙏🏾💕💕
I wanna say that if someone tells you they’re nonchalant, that is a red flag. Because they know what nonchalant means but they don’t realize how it hurt others. Now if someone does t tell that but instead behaves as a nonchalant would, then imo I would try to make them aware of it because they may not know, but in no means stay. Make them aware and then leave if it hurts to be with them. Just cause someone is scared or refuses to communicate their feelings to you, doesn’t mean you have to do the same. ❤
Met a narcissist, didn’t know the type. He went hot and cold from the start. Thank God for the good sense He gave me! I saw all the red flags and ghosted him. He tried many times to come back but I turned to stone! My consolation at least is that I never let him near my body! Five months was enough to see he was toxic! 👹👺👻
if i was to date a man like that i would give what i receive. if he doesnt care its an invitation for me to not care either
1:35 and 5:01 are very interesting contrasts lol. I’ve seen many people use their negative past experiences to determine how they act in the present day. Not even limiting it to dating here.
Men when something bad happens to them: NOOO IM A VICTIM I NEED TO GET REVENGE
Women when something bad happens to them: oh well, just another day
This is why I am getting divorced---this is my soon to be ex. Non chalant towards me suffering and being in physical pain. Yep. He was not there or would just sit there and stare at me like I was nuts. Thanks but no thanks.
Dated one he hated me😢dont do it ladies they emotionally kill you
The emptiness of there emotions for a woman shows on there faces to me. 😮 I have not seen real caring faces since the 70s when they sung music of love for women like Berry white. Now they are ashamed to show real genuine emotions for a woman infront of their friends and just like our Father wrote to us in the Bible about their hearts: (Men will become lovers of them selve.) Unqoute, i my self can see what most don't see. I see there soul on there faces, they love one another but no love for the woman. I see a on there faces a facemask cold heart but seemingly caring heart ❤ to women.
As a nonchalant, I love my girl but I'm having hard time showing it. I always think, listening to her all day or having quality time with her is already enough. I'm not just emotionally available as I don't like drama at all lol. I maybe red flag in your list but it is what it is lol
Lmao yup had a dude act nonchalant with me and didn't know I'm nonchalant myself so when I left him on seen he deleted himself 😂.
Edit: I meant deleted their account not their life! In case I was misunderstood. And I wish them all the best tho ❤
Lmfaooo had me in the first half ngl
Yep same here they nonchalant with you but when you are also nonchalant with them they notice and don’t like it. Which tells me that they are aware of what they are doing. I had mine blowing up my phone pretending to be concerned and worried about me because I didn’t respond to a text for few hours. I told him to call me back as I had something to discuss he’s now sick at home in bed with tonsillitis and can’t talk I left that message on read and never spoke to him again.
"please chalant" youre killing me xD
8:45 I love her hair 🥰
I hate when they say they are simple like women are the difficult one. NO MEN are so much more - predatory, selfish emotional immature, disgusting, mammy issue having violent over emotional tantrum throwing freaks. Like most everyone else YALL ARE NOT SIMPLE GET OVER IT
Date women?
Ugh @12:53 is so him. He act like he’s trying to keep the peace when he really just don’t like to talk things out like a mature adult. We never get around to talking about it and then he acts like nothing ever happened and be like “want some breakfast?” Like I’m the one that was tripping and he’s so easy going.😒
9:13 That cat needs you to show up emotionally.
I think I'm cursed to be alone forever because I'm an INTP personality type. The least emotional and most logical type of person. I will admit that it's hard to learn how to feel.
Amen!!