5 Steps To Telling Your Partner You Have Herpes - Life With Herpes - Episode 096
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 มิ.ย. 2018
- In this video, Alexandra Harbushka from Life With Herpes how telling anyone you have herpes can be terrifying, paralyzing, scary, and alarming. There are 5 steps to help you prep for telling your partner you have herpes.
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About this video:
The thought of telling someone you like and want to have a relationship can be even more frightful. Personally, I believe it goes way deeper than having herpes, it’s the fear of rejection. And the thought of being rejected for having herpes feeds into the awful stigma. The truth is, a lot of time we never really know why a lover dumps us, or why they are just “not that into you” or why they never become a lover. But now with having herpes, we use it as our scapegoat as to why a love affair didn’t work out or as a reason we never even date in the first place.
Trust me I get it! But this is the last thing I want you to feel. Take herpes out of the equation and date, have fun and fall in love.
Disclaimer: this video is NOT sponsored. Everything I discuss are my own opinions and I do my best to be transparent and honest. Some links above may be affiliate links which means I make a small commission if you purchase the item through my link & this helps support the production of the show. Thank you for your support! XOXO Alexandra
Thanks for the pep talk. I told a potential partner this morning because he was talking about sex last night. So this morning I asked him if he knows anyone with herpes he said no. I said well I have them and got them when I was 17. He said poor girl and I said it’s fine I don’t care now but people need to know. Then he said he doesn’t look at me any differently 🥰
7 years later and I usually only get breakouts now that I notice when I’m sick, stressed or have surgery. I told him this and that he can TH-cam about it but we decided to wear condoms but he took it really well. It used to be a cry-fest for me but was way easier this time keeping my emotions out and just talking like it’s normal because now it is my normal life
If you can’t talk to them about all aspects of sex In person, than your relationship doesn’t have enough trust to be having sex. Great conversation!
Yes, but this is terrifying because I don't know if I will ever meet a guy that can understand this...
thats really helpful. especially the emotional release step is fantastic!
People do care. That’s why I appreciate your openness.
This is helpful i meet this wonderful man hes everything but im scared to tell him I have herpes im afraid he will leave me we really like each other alot I cry its hurting me.
I got so hurt after telling new partner. It ended in a harsh way. I don’t want to go through it again.
Hi, please check our Secret Society. There are many people who went through the same thing. Believe me, there are many people that will accept you for who you are. www.lifewithherpes.com/secretsociety
Wrong person for you.
Don't give up
But I’ve heard that herpes testing is not super un certain because so many people don’t even show symptoms... like unless they’re having an active breakout there’s no way to test for it :(
Correct
That's wrong. Gyno can tell you.
Thanks this made me more comfortable about talking about it
The amount of spam in the comments is crazy
Hi
How do you talk to person who get mad very fast and lying too much.
Gather as much facts as you can and don't say it in an accusational way. Tell them that it's very scary and hard for you to talk about it but you care about that person and it's important that they know. 60% of the population have it and 80% don't even know they have it. Good luck.
Phayao Lem thank you!😊
I think I have both types :(( I feel so weak and I am scared that it damage my brain. :,(
How are you?
@@sheenazoe6467 hey Sheena, unfortunately I am Not feeling well. I feel like my immune system has to fight against the virus and I am really in mental and Physical pain. Moving my body is very hard. I was in mental hospital 2 times and right now I am feeling suicidal. :(
@@blaeck_kitty8149 Why? because of knowing you have Herpes or because you feel the symptoms are causing this?
You will feel fatigued, and just sleep. Do not let it consume your thoughts. Te stigma of it can be scary but its so common. It will get easier. If you have FB join a group. You will get a lot of helpful information not even doctors know. This infection is kicked to the side by the medical industry. People get more care with acne than you do with Herpes. Its abusive and inhmane treatment. If you are female joine pinktent.com She is a Dr. who has Herpes and lives a wonderful life. You will too.
You can’t have both types
I have a question - are you suggesting to both get tested before telling your partner about your own sexual health status if you know you already have hsv or letting them know beforehand if you have it anyway?
Thanks
Whatever works best. You could start with that to see how they react, how mature they are and what their thought are about it. Once you get the tests, you can explain why you wanted that (-you have herpes).
Or you can start with that, see what they say and just tell them straight away.
The important thing is to disclose before you're going to be intimate with them.
Does having herpes in the genital area change the way your vagina looks and the color it is after the pit break heals? Does it every go back to looking normal?
Dude I'm dying to know that
Umm it obviously doesnt it just probably shows like in the lips, but inside or outside (idk im a male) but im sure it doesnt affect THAT much
Lol it looks totally normal
they never w.ant to listen, they automatically take it horrible and its horrible and omg....they dont want to take the time to talk about it...or learn
Sorry but I'm doing it over text lol. I can't do it out loud ...
I think I might do the same. How did it go for you? I'm terrified
I think I would just keep talking and he will understand🤔.
@@fredleah8767 you can't just get rid of herpes
@@ematique4392 Sorry never saw this 🥺it's always gone well for me tho .
@@amber.4383 It went well for me too. He even said he doesn't care if he gets it! I haven't had an outbreak in over 3 years though.