DISOWNED BY MY FAMILY - they called me yesterday...
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this is the 'nice version' of what the conversation was actually like. Way more F bombs, I should have hung up, but atleast I get closure. I've talked to other people that confirm these statements are mostly true. Shoutout to HR Lady's dad though, MR. Big D. He is a real one.
We believe you dude. We all have people like this in our lives.
Huge respect for Mr. Big D for supporting you
You are an inspiration to many. Keep on doing what you do.
I'd be blacklisting their phone numbers.
Thanks for sharing this side of your life with all of us Josh.
I come from an extremely horrible childhood and am the daughter of addicts. My father was murdered when I was about 9 years old and I was already in Foster Care at this point but still had visitation with my dad who I loved and adored. My mother was addicted to heroin and unable to get clean to get her 3 children back. I was a ward of the state until I was 18 years old. I suffered severe emotional abuse/neglect in the foster care system. My mother passed away 13 years ago. My 36 year old baby brother (I am 39) just passed away 7 months ago from the disease of addiction! He was my best friend. I supported him throughout his entire life. I’m breaking the cycle by raising my 7 year old son as a loving mother who is fully there for him. But I know so much about the disease of addiction and I am so sorry you are experiencing this heartbreak as an adult child!
I knew from almost the moment I started watching your videos about your parents financial abuse that they were addicts. I could tell immediately.
I love your channel and your drive and motivation to be successful in life. Just wanted to say how sorry I am.
Do NOT speak to them ever again. He reached out to you because he misses his free money. That's it.
we dont know that, there are three sides to this story, his side, the dads side and the truth.
I'm inclined to lean with best username (even if excel is excellent. lol)
I have family who couldn't be bothered to do the bare minimum raising me but as soon as I have resources and stuff they want it's all about that, but the moment I don't want to house my adult /18 year old siblings for practically free while they destroy my apartment and property, and they act like tantruming children when they dont get their way. Nah, my family has tried to reach back out but it's never anything of substance or acting like they "forgive me" as if I wronged them by saying "no more, goodbye". Sometimes narcisists don't ever grow and only use the preception of growth as a foot in the door to get free stuff again.
Hell, in the video they used the "cover my eyes and ears" tactic when he put his feelings on the internet and they ignored the videos to not have "hard feelings". More like "I dont want to deal with what I did wrong, so I will act like I have the moral high ground".
It's pattern behavior and only Josh can say for sure if it's a pattern, and it sure sounds like one to me.
Its tough to write off family but toxic people are toxic people period. Nothing good will come out of reopening communication at this point. The "Bank of Josh" is now closed. See what the future holds but its up to them to fix their lives. Hang in there Josh
@@goosebyte not giving his family a pass at all but acting entitled and being a drug addict are two completely different things. No, he shouldn't give addicts money as that doesn't help the situation, but there are more troubling things at play here then just people being lazy and acting entitled.
@SpringBoot Horrible advice
This young man is remarkable. He grew up under those parents. How he did not become like them is heartwarming.
Nice comment from you sir it will make him feel really nice to read that.
I absolutely 100% agree with you. I was about to comment something of the like. It would have been so much easier for him to be indoctrinated and brainwashed into thinking believing and behaving in the same dysfunctional way as his biological family members have.
I truly believe that He will one day have a family unit of his own who love cherish and RESPECT each other for who each individual is as a person and NOT what they can or will do for them.
It's most likely through the internet, considering he decided to become a YTber
Totally agree!
@@triciabarr4620 unfortunately kids who’ve grown with narc parents most of the time learn to hide who they really are. We learn to mask ourselves incredibly well.. we don’t know who he really is. this is just what we see here in his videos. Sadly
You weren't dumb, you were hopeful and caring. It's so hard when your family actively hurts you.
Agreed
Same. My sister did something similar, because her addiction was more important than her two year old son. Ended getting my nephew taken away by CPS ,and you know what? While it hurts that I'll probably never see him again, and I hope and keep hoping that I'll see him, I've come to terms that in the grand scheme of things, since my sister has begun to see her own baby as just someone in her way, it's probably for the best that she doesn't have him anymore, because she clearly could've given a rats ass less about him.
You don't find it gross that he milks this issue for clicks, repeatedly, over multiple videos, despite it being private business?
Given that, how do you even know it's the truth?
@@_SimpleSam from the texts?
@@_SimpleSam Men don't typically have friends outside of the internet. Friend groups are gone and he doesn't even work a typical job anymore. so what if he makes money off venting? That's a very good way to make money if it works!
It's sad when you realize being a good man makes you the black sheep in the family.
I was disowned for my addiction it’s insane that he was disowned for not giving them a free ride
What scares me the most is how MANY parents actually use the "This is life" or "Its the past now its present" excuses to justify their literal abuse, including mine. My heart goes to you Joshua, not many of us can relate to your specific situation but we're here for you.
Not really justifying, but holding grudges doesn't help you or anyone else. You don't have to talk to them, but don't hate them or hold anger.
@@user-fe8gx3ie5v
But don't they do the same thing?
@@user-fe8gx3ie5v id say if someone made my life a living hell i have the right to hold whatever grudge i have to the grave. nobody has to just let it go. because that means you forgive them. and sometimes people are not worth your forgiveness.
@@treyjordan1284 Based on personal experience, I'd say it isn't. Not really worth it. It just makes you more bitter.
I believe discipline is good, the problem is people pretend that abuse is the same as discipline, both can hurt you, but only one of those two options teaches valuable lessons...
Our society has romanticized “unconditional love” from relatives, especially parents.
Don’t ever feel bad for what you did. You were completely right in getting away from them. Extremely toxic people.
Total agreement, there seems to be this mindset that shitty families feel entitled to forgiveness cause you know "They're family, you have to forgive them." but if they never make an attempt to change, they just keep doing the same shitty things and say "Sorry," thinking saying that invalidates all the shitty things they've done. If you keep doing the shitty thing even after you say how sorry you are multiple times then you're not sorry. You're just using the word as a get out of jail free card.
@@hadoke Sad parallel reality was I had the same "unconditional love" attitude forced down my throat when my own mother got addicted to heroin as well. Even stealing my car for months when I'd only just landed a professional job I really enjoyed. Contending with that and my families denial caused me to run from home to Florida with the tax refund I'd received. Florida failed, I moved back. Mother got arrested the night after my return home. Family sure can be a bitch sometimes. While they were shitty, it's strange how certain things end. My mother has been sober for 5 years and gave birth to a sister that saved me from my own darkness and emotional dysregulation. I wouldn't have learned how I really was if I didn't also learn from my families ill's.
Agreed. I received love from my parents until I reached the age of 8. Suddenly I no longer met conditions (and I was a pretty good kid, didn't give trouble but still not good enough).
his parents are way more beyond of toxic, i think they are radioactive
i mean their bloodstream is toxic for sure with all those drugs
I am a 70 year old grandmother and heartbroken to hear your story. Please don't let your family put you through anymore of their toxic dis function. No matter how hard you try to get them to understand your point of view they never will. Let them go with love. Love yourself and move on with your life. Talking about will definitely help. Maybe go to therapy so your feelings can be validated and you can learn the traits of addiction. You cannot heal them as you will learn. You are a sweet young man and will be ok. Pay attention to your gut feelings and that will guide you through. Lots of love and support dear from this grandma.❤
Honestly man I’ve seen people turn out horribly with parents who aren’t even that bad. So seeing you being sentient & aware & level headed after living your life with parents like this is impressive. So glad to see you turned out alright
Was your family trying to murder you💀
My mother chose alcohol over me for 43 years. She recently had to dry out and go sober bc of a serious health issue that wouldve killed her if she kept drinking.
And now I'M expected to forget everything that happened and support her! F**k that! She chose alcohol over her kids. She made her decision, now she can live with it.
We're better off without those people in our lives. Keep moving forward.
I'm sorry you went through that but I'm glad you rose above
43 years fuckkkkk , my dad's at 8.
Forgiveness does not mean they are invited back into your life. It's a chance for you to give something that you never got.
@@buddykaiyala THIS. Forgiveness is the right you give yourself to be happy again and permission to cut people out of your life if that's what it takes
Amen
This man pulled the reverse card and disowned his family back.
Pretty badass.
As someone who's experienced their own father stealing their identity, I feel for you immensely. Ive never seen your videos before. You were on my suggested today. Just know someone else knows how you feel. I never had the ability to pay for all my fathers needs, and he still took me for everything. Keep your head up. Eventually you'll realize no matter how much it hurts, you no longer need him or them.
A lot of pain, alive pain on here on this channel! I had experienced my dads emotional abuse. he is I believe a narcissist. so gaslightying, projection I experienced it. so I know how it feels. But my mom, brother are decent, good people. IM in a process where I dont speak to my dad at the moment. we havent spoken for 2 months. he has himself a woman, so he is not so desperate and my brother supports him by speaking to him. I had a breakdown 20 years ago out of all the abuse. nobody knows about gaslighting. it drove me crazy . eaten me from the inside out. to the outside our family was "decent". mother suffered aswell. and now dad wants to move on. I thought when he will get old he will become more desperate facing the wall. but no. he found a woman. I believe everyone of us who went through this makes his own choice how to deal with abuser. My own choice is still - I want to keep in touch with him. treating him like a big baby that shoots a gun in every direction. not personally. and believing Jesus loves me in all of this helps immensely. To God our pain is precious. But each to their own.
@@Marekcatholic haven't spoken to pops in years
@@thomastuttle5365 I just speak for myself ,in my case Im sort of rushed to not hold it against him, because the bitterness is destroying my inside. If I dont try to address to "try" to forgive Im afraid I can hurt somebody someday badly. So I dont want that. But every case is different. The pain is there. a lot of it. watching video like this helps. take care
@@Marekcatholic don't hate, but keep your distance. Being close isn't necessary in any manner. Sometimes bad people end up becoming fathers. You owe him nothing.
I’m so sorry he did that to you ❤
Jesus, the financial abuse is more than enough to permanently alienate a child, I can’t imagine how bad the other forms of abuse might be… solidarity, man - as a child of narcissistic abuse I feel you on the whole tone of this video. I hope you’re doing ok and will continue to do better and feel better as time goes on without them
33:38 "Talking to my dad was the literal definition of the narcissist prayer which goes like this:
'That didn't happen, and if it did it wasn't that bad, and if it was that's not a big deal, and if it is that's not my fault, and if it was I didn't mean it, and if I did you deserved it.'"
That really resonated with me, thank you.
holy shit that was literally what a conversation with my mother sounds like. WOW.
@@Annonymous0283745 it's basically, "im sorry YOU feel that way" so dismissive 😢
Or the classic "it was all for your own good I did it all for you"
"I didn't hit you but if I did it was not in the face. And if I did it was your fault."
and if you didn't deserve it, "that's life"
My dad's family was narcissistic too. This is very familiar. They never change.
A counselor gave me this nugget of wisdom. "Being related doesn't give anyone a free pass to treat you however they want."
Yo I just beat tf out my narcissistic brother lmao I hate them
My mum said the same thing to me that my dads side are narcs and the only good thing my dad ever gave me was a chance to see my siblings whom i never met and after a week of listening to my dad play the victim over the yrs of bs i blocked him without a warning and this was the only conversations ive ever had with him
Just because you're blood doesn't make you family. That's something you have to earn.
Josh, I've skipped over your videos for a very long time, because I'm in the same situation. I didn't want to relive the s**t through your story. Today I listened, I hear your grief, I feel the betrayal. Josh, family is suppose to be supportive, kind, unconditional in every way. You are very intelligent, handsome young man. You are stuck in that mess, and can't get out. Your dad is playing on your emotions. You deserve happiness, you deserve to be loved. Don't get involved, your dad is lying, there's more and he's not telling. He's a con artist, please don't get involved. Change your number, or ignore them. Even now you're being manipulated. I decided that if my family didn't love me, I must love myself. I'm not concerned about them anymore, I think about them periodically, but I don't see them. Your dad could very well be an addict too. I hope he's not, but that's on him. Please don't get involved. You'll be a happier person. Please take your time to fine love, you want it to be genuine, someone who will stick by you always. I know it hurt, but you will develop health issues if you don't close the book on them. Our stories parallel. We have so much in common, take care of your mental health, this crap will drive you crazy. Their confessions that have placed you in debt can be reversed. I hope the day will come when you stop reliving your pain, stop writing about it. Right now it's therapeutic, the day will come when you will stop. Very please you've confronted your dad. He's stressed alright, don't let them use you.
I'm not even two minutes in and don't know your story yet I recognize where you're at. I realized I didn't have to do this anymore and walked away twenty-seven years ago. It was hard for a long time and then it became the best decision I've ever made. When there's hope, it hurts. That changed when I accepted that the person couldn't give me what they didn't have and that I was not only good and enough already but also on my way to being so much more, to fulfilling my potential. Saying no to them allowed me to say yes to myself. You will not just survive; you will thrive.
Your 👏ex-dad 👏was 👏100% 👏doing 👏drugs
No doubt
Of course.
His dad's story smells like such BS. He could have been gambling it all away and just making up the drug addict story for sympathy points and making everyone else look bad. Dad is such a narc. He doesn't appreciate explanations or "pearls of wisdom." It's all such a waste of time. I hope Josh learns that these are a different species of human and stops trying to have a normal interaction with them. There is healing but it takes work. Therapy would be a great start.
Its meth
The biggest lie that society tells you is that you HAVE to forgive your family, that you actually need them, that you owe them anything. Sometimes you're way better off without them. Keep strong. You are much better off without them.
The truest words written! Sigh.
Forgive for your own peace of mind, not theirs. That doesn't mean you have to do stuff for them or even let them back into your life
Sometimes "Family" is nothing more then DNA connection. I wish you the best in your life. Take care, Debi.
@@elouise5593 not everyone works that way. If it works for you great. But some of us have perfectly fine peace of mind without ever forgiving people who have harmed us in the worst ways.
Love them, forgive them, but don't have anything to do with them if they don't change.
I hate how your story reminds me of my childhood, and I know this means nothing coming from a stranger, but I am proud of you for the way you turned out, and how you stood up for yourself. I wanna give you a hug. Keep being you, and doing what you need to do to make your life better. You deserve it. Not them. They don't deserve you either
Sorry kid. I was disowned by my toxic family too. Did the whole mental funeral and mourning thing just like you. And just like you, it's really for the best. Stay strong and keep working on your emotional well being.
why do people say josh should keep this a secret? 100% this is helping someone who is going through a similar thing
Bingo. It's the hidden wounds that fester and rot, it's much better to talk about these things (in a safe place and safe way of course) so we dont let them rot our souls to pieces to keep the secret.
Im conflicted cause i dont talk about my issues. But it does feel better when i hear about another's issues cause im like "oh ok im not the only one who has family problems."
But it is sooo weird to talk smack. And you know people will put you down for it.
@@DavidSharpMSc come on man, he's gotta recoup some of that money his family wasted on drugs!
@@DavidSharpMSc I agree. I really hope he can put all of this behind him eventually. I'm glad he has HR lady and her family to help him through this, because having this happen alone (i'm sure it's more frequent than we think) would be extremely difficult.
I'm going through something similar, where I cut ties with my family (actually found the first part of Josh's story within a month of walking away from my family) and it has personally helped me come to terms with the situation and make peace with the fact that I might never see them again, and that's okay.
I can relate. I was disowned by entire mother’s side of the family, really for entertainment. I was renting a room at my grandma’s place to help her pay for bills. Didn’t realise prior how verbally abusive she was, and likes to start drama for fun. I went for a walk one day, and I guess she looked at my laptop and found I was looking for apartments to rent, so I wouldn’t have to pay her rent anymore, and fabricated a story that I threatened her with a knife and threatened that I was going to set her house on fire. I got kicked out, and for 2 weeks until I blocked everyone, basically got death threats and harassed by members of my family. About 9 months later of not speaking to them and getting close to Christmas, I got a call from one of my aunts. Asking if I was coming over for Christmas, and said “We forgive you. All you have to do is apologise and we’ll welcome you back” I ignored her. I questioned for a long time if I made the right decision. But that answer came to me last year when I ran into my cousin. He said grandma targeted him, and everyone in the family are either fighting eachother, talking bad about eachother behind their backs, or everyone is depressed.
I'm so sorry you were treated like that. Thank goodness you were able to get away from that mess and your cousin realized he was the new scapegoat
you did right ignoring them, even if they feel some sort of guilt they should live with it for the rest of their miserable lives
I have similar shit with my grandma, a manipulative horrible woman that tried to make me hate my dad and tried to make me think I was a girl at a young age, cut her out of my life and all she ever does is act the victim.
Jesus that's horrible. I guess misery loves company.
sue her for slander
My mom was doodoo. But your story makes me glad I haven’t seen her since I was 19. I’m 55 now. She’s never even met her grandchildren. Sorry to hear you had crappy parents. You gotta let them go 💯. I know, but the pain will recede. Good luck friend.
Don’t people do drugs and have sex together?
And this is a father, mother, and daughter doing drugs together! Oh my Lord. That’s crazy!
@@annsantonino9103 The depravity.
It takes people way too long to realize you don’t HAVE to support your family if they’re toxic to you. Start grinding, make more money than you did before, and spend it all on yourself! I hope you find happiness brother ❤
That's very true , it takes a lot .
Spending money on oneself only goes so far. It's the people you surround yourself, people who will lift you up instead of trying to bring you down.
U don't have to support ur family period regardless of toxicity unless u are the parent as dont have a kid otherwise. Families support eachother and parents need to support their kids especially financially these days. Their generation had it better than we do regarding predatory late stage capitalism.
You sharing this is going to help a lot of people.
it's the bull dog
Agreed John, it's great he's keeping his audience up to date on this, even if it helps one person.
That’s exactly why he shares 💛
Legend 🔥
That's true!
Sometimes strangers will love you more than your parents will.
I personally have at least 3 extra sons , that my boys brought home over the years! They were great youngsters, and I’ve watched them grow with mine, they still grace my table here , and there. I love them dearly , your statement is so true💯❤️
Our drummer's Mom (I was lead singer in a 60s rock band) became my Mother; the one I never had.
Love you for saying that!
@@thearchibaldtuttle I love you too my friend
I’ve got a son who I never gave birth to because his family was so toxic . Been “ my kid” since he was in middle school . He’s in his 40s now
I've been alone from the age of 17 and I'm very poorly. I have nobody to help me. You'll be stronger alone though. Even though I struggle, everyday I do it alone and I'm proud of it.
Your call in sharing this is your choice, no one else's. As Anne Lamott wrote: "You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."
Your business content is so spot on. I wish you the best.
Hun, take it from a Grandmother....your Dad is a narcissist. He has the classic signs. You can't control that fact, but you CAN control who you allow into your life. Surround yourself with people who will uplift you and do good for you. Your Dad is a toxic person and needs help. Not help from you; HE has to find it himself.
This is really good advice.
Spot on ma'am, God bless
You words are true. I kept going back. Saying I was sorry for my part but never got an apology from my mother. She told me she never wanted me. Then I knew why she abused me.
That’s when I stopped going back.
There's no cure, treatment, or pill, for psychopath's.
Yeah I was looking for this. Gotta recognize it. Spot on.
"fAmIlY iS fOrEVeR" yeah well but so is a felony
😂
Ain't that the truth 👍
"Well, we just thought, ya know... That getting a lawyer would make us look, ya know, guilty." "Ya know what'll make you look even more guilty than that? A 6 & 11 special of you doing the perp walk into the county jail."
lol. cute. love this. you can make a shirt with this line.
@@evang1475 It's a line from Better Call Saul.
I came across this and I really feel you. I got manipulated by narcissistic family many times. Getting stabbed made me cut ties. I had to cut friends too cause they got manipulated themselves to tell where I live and other stuff. I had to cut everything just to escape. How people supposed to be family would just do this is unfathomable.
It's a terrible thing when faceless strangers on the internet are more understanding than the Family you know the face of too well.
He is just buttering you up to get back in your life and start using you again. I am so sorry he opened this wound back up for you.
indeed
My thoughts exactly.
Speaking from experience, an apology won't give you closure, and you'll go nuts waiting for one. It sucks but you're better off that they disowned you. They don't deserve you.
But educating one's self on addiction and how it alters the brain will. He doesn't need to forgive and be back in their lives but he should completely understand addiction before anything else. He should talk to a therapist who specializes in addiction.
@@JaymeSplendid
He shouldn’t have to waste his own time trying to figure out his family’s addictions or consult a therapist.
In order for treatment to have an effect they first need to be willing to help themselves overcome whatever addiction they’re on.
All he needs to do is worry about himself and the people in his lives from this point on.
Being disowned is kind of a blessing in disguise. Now he doesn’t feel or have this need to be obligated to support their addictions. It’s almost a freedom type of feeling.
But I’m the end. It’s up to him what he decides to do.
@@ripp3rjak934 while I agree with you, he definitely should as well. Learning why someone did something can help process your own feelings towards the situation.
@@JaymeSplendid or maybe a therapist or psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse so he can process and heal from what his family put him through
Yes. When they disown you it actually helps you to let go. You cant hold on to people who dont want you so it really helps a lot even though it is painful
Bro this one is rough. You’ve done amazing for yourself. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished, and holding yourself to a higher standard.
It's kind of normal for parents to be embarrassed by their kids once in a while, but kids being embarrassed of their parents is... wow. I wish you good things in life, friend, you deserve it.
Truth is kids being embarrassed by their parents happen much MUCH more than you think, but this extent is mindboggling
When a parent realizes their kid is ashamed of them... it's gotta be soul-crushing
"I can't do that to my wife. I can't do that to my daughter."
But he can lie, manipulate, and give zero craps for his son. Okay
Yep, because the wife and daughter are just like him. Being normal makes him the odd duck here.
lying and manipulating to his wife and daughter won't get him any more money.
yup.. druggies will do and say ANYthing it takes to milk the Cash Cow. And that's all Josh had become to them. Even now I bet ex-daddy-boy is wanting something .. like court coming up for 1 or all 3 of them, or they need money for legals, or sure, a debt to a dealer .... either way, that call was sussing out the lay of the land and whether it was possible to coral the Cash Cow back into the stall for milking again. Josh, NEVER TAKE A CALL FROM THEM AGAIN. He reeled you back in for 4hrs and look at how it's messed you up again. DONT GIVE THEM THAT POWER EVER AGAIN.
To be honest I don’t know if this is a white thing or not but my husband is Caucasian, I am mixed and his family (whose obviously white) bent over backwards for their daughter and treated their son like crap, for their entire lives. It’s bizarre 🤷🏻♀️🥺
I wonder how long they were really on drugs?
"take it or leave it Josh..."
Leave it... Sorry to say it, but that's the only way you heal, grow, and move on to bigger and better things.
I'm also working on flying and get my pilot's license so I can break into the aviation industry, I really think that's where I belong. So I know what that sky life is like a little bit just like you lol keep chasing that dream. Maybe start a series related to your journey?
People like that only say take it or leave it because they actually believe that you'd never leave it!!!
Josh's dad is an asshole for sure, but I feel a bit of pity for him after hearing how he was raised/treated by the grandparents in other videos. They put him on the path to failure, he never made any effort to become a good human being though.
im sorry josh, im really glad you can be open about this and tell us. I hope people learn from your wounds
I had a similar father. He never apologized once in 50 years about abusing my mother, siblings and me. It's not your fault and do your best to move on. I wrote a letter to my father before his death and even though he never acknowledged it, felt alot better just to get it off my chest.
You will backslide into a toxic relationship if you let them in again.
@brandon why would he lose her?. He definitely won't lose her.
@@renaudfred5866 Sane people dont like insane people
@brandon at the end of the day Josh knows what he is doing and I am pretty sure he won’t get to level of connection with his parent again but thinking hr lady would leave him if he ever decided to forgive them and move on that’s a stretch
@brandon In reality it’s just sad that his parents did that to him and still don’t regret it. They almost destroyed their son and all he wanted was their good
@brandon hey man keep going you and your gf have a bright future ahead of you guys keep making the right choice bro. You got it
Don’t call him ‘dad’ anymore. He’s not your dad, he never was to begin with.
This is a start, he needs to earn the tittle.
Dumpsters dont have an opinion
@@scalamasterelectros3204 😂😂😂😂😂
Even "sperm donor" would be a much too honorable and generous destination.
I dont think it's easy to understand the thought of living without family is a very scary thing
I have had a lot of therapy in my life. One thing I learned is we pick our friends, not our family. Just because they are family doesn’t mean you have to be around for the toxic times. I walked away and it’s alright to do that. I would rather live by myself than to be around them. Do what you have to. Don’t feel guilty, it’s a wasted emotion!!
That hurts, man. I'm sorry for what you endured. Stay strong, brother.
I left when I was 15 years old and I never looked back. Best decision of my life that I ever made.
There's no reason to subject yourself to the whims of a malignant narcissist.
How'd you get through leaving? Did you get a place to sleep from friends / other family members?
Hold on, 15?!
@@OrgBrent I’m trying to move out but it’s so hard to find a place with a friend since everything seems like a scam
Yep,
Have to quit enabling them.
@@ThePilleroflightning Maybe everything seems like a scam , but if you dont take the step you will never move forward my dude. Life is about risks and you will lose some battles but you learn from it and continue. Its hard to leave your life behind but is this the life you want to live you need to ask yourself. I wish you good luck and anyone reading this, who is in the same situation.
I dunno how this video got on my feed, but I'm glad it did. This is the most intense family drama I've ever heard! I can't wrap my head around how your family members treat each other!? How did you come out so normal and able to adult properly?!? You're a miracle!!
Drugs ruin lives, that is how they treated him so badly.
Josh is a real man. not a miracle.
He needs an Asian friend. Enough said
His eyes would be opened to a new world. Joshua is basically Asian inside, you'd be welcomed in my family.
It is do to TH-cam AI.
Joshuah if you read this I am so God damn sorry for what you are going through brother. The situation with your family is just so FUBAR it danm near brought me to tears. I have a nephew who just so happens to have the same 1st name is you who is gotten heavily into drugs and we haven't heard from him in at least 3 years. His father is absolutely no idea where he is and at this point we don't even know if he is alive or dead.
Yes you are such a Good guy, sad that your Family Did that to you. 🤐
First time I’ve seen one of your videos. This makes me cry. The pain you’re displaying is heartbreaking. Please find a way to heal. You seem to be a loving, caring son. You should know that most parents would feel proud and fortunate to call you their son. ❤️
I am MORE than happy to hear you out boss. It is amazing to have a platform you can express your grievances on man. Hoping on things getting better for you dude
The TH-cam family you’ve built has got you. ❤️
TH-cam fam, lets start a sign up sheet for who gets Josh and HR lady for each holiday/life milestone ❤
I promise his dads an addict ... I’ve lived with one ... nothing is ever their fault and they always play the victim. Master manipulator.
My brother is the same way. I'm currently letting him stay with so he won't have to live in his car and he's already acting like he owns the place. He does what he wants, when he wants, nothing is his fault and when you remind him something is, I'm instantly cussed out and belittled.
My brother is a narcissist and he has my parents wrapped around his finger.
When we get in disagreement he immediately hits low and when I bring it up to my parents they blame me.
I don't know what to do. He's messing up my relationship with my family.
@@BasedChad1 Ever seen "The Good Child?"
THAT.
@@sixmag4831 Never seen it but I'll look
@@sixmag4831 kick him out now, before he tries some squatter right shit.
What I've learned when it comes to family and still loving them is having boundaries is a MUST! I've had to do this with my parents and 2 of my children. If it's to hard to keep them out of your life then learning good boundaries will help you so much. It's hard in the beginning bc they don't like it but once they realize you don't budge of what you expect a person to treat you, it does get better. BUT being addicts is a different ball game. I do hope you are seeing a therapist too. You've lived a life that has trained you to accept this behavior towards you so its hard to change, on your own, what has been instilled in you. I wish you the best bud...
I've lived through a sick narcissistic family system. Ugh. This brings back some not so pleasant memories.
Who the hell did parents like that raise someone like you?! Well done for coming out of that mess a decent person.
I probably have some issues like a disagreeable personality, which doesn't bode well for corporate jobs.
@@JoshuaFluke1 you'll fit in as an auditor I must say.
*How the hell right
My husbands family are the same. My parents took him under their wings and they are more like parents than his have ever been. My husband is a very successful man and did it without any of their help.
@@JoshuaFluke1 Dude fuck corporate jobs, your making bank without selling your soul. You're doing the right thing forging your own path dude, and inspiring us newbies in the process.
Keep doing what your doing bro!
Hard to believe this is real life. Never taking my parents for granted
My heart goes out to you. This the first video of yours that I have watched. I'm glad that you have a support system that appreciates you.
I feel really sorry for you, my mother is an alcoholic and she threw me out the house when I was 18 and still studying high school. Don't ever talk to them!
Venting online isn’t easy for a man. It’s strength for some of us. Take it easy Josh.
Exactly. Showing genuine emotion is something that we're berated for not doing enough and encourage to do more... in theory. But we know the reality is that if we do we're viewed as weak with a heavy load of baggage and should learn how to deal with it in private or just get on with it and stop crying. Not caring either way is a great skill, as long as you can keep discussing it coherently.
I am so sorry. No one should have to go through this. I wish and pray you find the strength to get through this and have a wonderful life.
I’m so sorry you had to go through what you have gone through. What your family has done to you is unforgivable but I admire your strength in dealing with it. I hope you making these videos are helping you heal from it all instead of reliving it by speaking about it. I have a very young granddaughter who’s father chose drugs over being her father since the day she was born and there are days when a 7 year girl asks why doesn’t my daddy want me? It’s because of drugs being chosen over family which is what has happened to you and I’m so sorry for you. I know we’ll have to find a way to explain it to her someday but we just don’t know how right now except to say he’s very sick. I’m new to your videos but am going to watch you faithfully from now on. Thank you for sharing this your story with us. Sending hugs 💗🤗
Do you know what the best part of this story is? The fact that this people raised you, and you still ended up such a great person considering their toxicity.
You deserve happiness and everything good that comes your way.
Josh is actually based.
@@muctar_s wdym?
@@muctar_s what... why? Are you an addict too, so his opinion is not popular in your circles? XD
@@Cewu You do know that being "based" is a good thing, right?
Ahh, based is probably the opposite of cringe, right? So then basically, he's saying he's awesome, or the man. A good guy.
I know you made this a while ago and I haven’t finished it yet, but I was 100% sure drugs were involved when I heard your story months ago. The behavior is all too familiar. Sorry man, it’s hard dealing with family members that are using. I have been on both ends. Sharing your personal stuff will help a lot of people. Not many creators do it. I hope things get better if they haven’t already
I also commented on the previous videos that it must have been drug related. But this is so heart breaking. Addiction is such an evil evil force. I truly hope that they can clean up and one day make everything up to him and at least try to show him that they love him and that addiction does things to you that most people can never understand unless having experienced addiction first hand
My husband and I have been cheated, lied to and used by his daughter. Money stolen, things stolen, ongoing lies, manipulation, fraud, etc. They don't use any drugs, in a way that's worse. There is no obvious solution. It's her and her boyfriend. They are the same.
Hi, just want to know you and Joshua's channels were both there when I started out my journey to become a developer, and now I am. You both are honest about things and made it so much more relatable. You both helped so many people dealing with different problems by simply sharing them, it made us feel less lonely, and provides a new way of looking at our own situation. Thank you.
It could be narcissistic personality disorder without drugs. Same quirks.
Thank god im live in india. Drugs aren't as big a problem here🥺
Dude... I have watched your other videos, but never knew anything about your personal life. I'm sorry this kind of stupid stuff happened to you. I've been so down on myself and while I don't have the greatest situation, I do have loving family and I'm just now starting to get my life together at 25 with kids, doubting myself. You inspired me very much tonight Joshua. I start a job at a local firm soon an it's an entirely new environment to me. You made me realize I need to just stop being a B about it and pick my head, do it the best I can!!! Keep moving forward brother! Your family is MAD JEALOUS. YOU are successful, they aren't.
Dang dude I'm sorry to hear this. Much respect for being to open and vulnerable and honest. You're way braver and more mature than your dad and grandparents imo
All three were doing drugs. An addict will lie about everything, everything. The only reason he's calling you now is he hopes to patch up your situation, then hit you up for more money.
You don't know that, he could very well have just been the enabler... drug addicts often hang on to a sympathetic family member who makes excuses for their behavior.
Exactly
@@rahnsingh7693 Nah, he was on drugs too.
@@jon8223 Absolutely!!! The dad is on drugs as well. For sure.
He probably is also on drugs but it really doesnt matter. Him enabled his wife and child and using his other child to do it is gross and worse than just being an addict. Dads a piece of crap regardless.
I got my inlaws out after a year, now they have disowned us and said we are cut off, I said "awesome "! I'm cut off from what again? Paying their way, taking all their shit? Hell I'm good with that!
Much of the boomer generation is completely selfish. They sold out the next generation for their personal satisfaction and temporary enjoyment.
Were you cut off from the inheritance?
@@xephael3485 Which boomer generation? In America? Canada? Japan? Southeast Asia? My great-granduncle who 94 going 95 years old, fought in WW II and took care of needy nephews and nieces in Kazan, Russia, when he was an analyst intelligence officer working for the Government during the Cold War and went out often overseas. He helped my father who is his grand-nephew (a boomer) and -great-grandnephew (me) for his nephew got wounded and disabled in a border skirmish along the Russian-Chinese border zones. But we paid back every kopecks and rubles he spent for us in our time of need (or cents and dollars in your America) but he told me and my father to use it to help others the way he helped us.
@@darthvader5300 it's called a generalization... based off political and economic decisions made while the "boomer" generation has been in power.
@@xephael3485
I wasn’t talking to you
The algorithm pushed me this for some reason and honestly, glad it did.
You're good people. Hopefully, in current year, you're doing well and the leeches are paying for their actions.
Big ups
You're not dumb. We're all still learning. Listening to your viewers shows true humanity and I'm glad you see the wisdom in that. It's okay man, we've got your back, always.
The guy that committed fraud, stole and failed to get a job yet kept asking for money:
"wELcOmE tO LiFE, sOn"
That also, at the very least, psychologically abused his son. "I got fucked over so I'm gon' fuck you over."
@@epmcgee which is a very narcissistic character trait. They always blame the other person for doing them wrong, but they will 'get revenge and be sorry'
Oh you will never hear an apology from narcissistic people,they do not see a problem in their behavior and this to be family is awful I have similar experience
Exactly
My mom
it's a lot easier to be forgiving and understanding
when illness is crippling and a lot harder
when it causes them to throw darts at you ! B-)
So true !
I came across this heartbreaking video randomly. It's a happy miracle that you're doing as well as you are with all you've been through. You are to be admired for holding yourself together all this time.
If you ever feel the need, don't hesitate to seek counseling. I've done it for lesser reasons, and it really can be of benefit.
Be well my friend.
Thank you for sharing your pain, that was powerful. one of the realest things I’ve ever seen. I hope you find peace and happiness
"The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents" - C.Jung
Dang
This did hurt my feelings. Cause it is true.
So true
Korean Zombie never said that ur trippen bro
Wow!
This man needs a huge hug. Sorry that you’re going through this manipulative situation, please be encouraged. ❤️
So long as he's not the one being manipulative for subs. I know that sounds cynical but it's not that uncommon a grift online.
@@AfroGaz71 We all know that, but think about the effect posting something like this would have on his actual family. That is more than enough to make it real to me. The fact that he's now coming to terms with his family abandoning and betraying him, and that family still trying to reel back their cash cow back in, is so fucking despairing to know that these people actually exist.
@@AfroGaz71 d#*n bro. Kinda harsh? Why are you so negative? If that’s what you gathered out of this video, you may need to see someone professionally to see why you gravitate to negativity. Not being funny. I’m dead a##
Power to you for getting as far as you have and continue down this path!
I can see the anguish and despair in this lads eyes,you gotta get on with your life mate,leave them behind,you will find someone and have your own family.Goodluck mate🤟🇦🇺
Josh, not all Boomers are like this. I am a boomer and I have been disowned for 42 years. The only time I hear from “family” is when they want something. I wrote my family off for good along time ago and I have no regrets. I have been with someone wonderful for 39 years now and he is all the family I need. BTW, my moms family is all involved in a religious cult. Getting away from that is the best thing I ever did. Of course my family says if I leave my spouse (we are married) and come back to their religion I would be welcomed with open arms. I told them not to hold their breath.
Ok
Good for u man I hope I find that same peace one day ur a beautiful example of perseverance
You made the RIGHT DECISION❤
I hear from mine when someone dies. I still don't get involved. I send something directly to the deceased family and avoid the bullsh**.
Ok
I watched this video and realized that I'm grateful that my parents, my brother, and my little sister would literally give their life for me. I think I took that for granted until I watched this video.
It wasn't until I got older that I realized how lucky I was to have such a healthy and supportive family. Never take anything for granted!
That's awesome. I'm happy for you.. and a lil jealous lol. Totally diff situation for me
@@frankbarrie6785 dont be jealous tactical sprint and pop stims like a real nigga
Yeah my family is super supportive, I feel so bad for people who have to experience this.
I’m also grateful that I grew up in a family that everyone support each other and love each other.
Hang in there man! I hope you have a supportive group of friends, and can find some distance from all of this.
I’m so sorry. This is heartbreaking. Don’t feel guilty about cutting them off.
The hardest thing I ever heard was my therapist telling me, "Yeah, sometimes it's hard to accept when our parents aren't interested in our lives." The guilt trips are huge. Draw your lines and don't look back. You'll never find the love you're seeking from them, they aren't capable. I'm so sorry. I understand and empathize :(
Agree. But it is possible to find the love he deserves from others who are not family who will show him kindness. I wish you well Josh. Take care of you and pat yourself on the back that you are not the angry nutcase your Dad is. 😥😢😭
Sometimes you just have to walk away ...
I get that
No, he won't ever receive what he's looking for for them. Continuing to look for it will just even his frustration, anger, and sadness. His answer lies elsewhere.
Lisa, one of the hardest things therapist said to me was something like "One of the hardest lessons we learn about our parents is that they are human and make mistakes. Sometimes ones they can't come back from." Josua, it is possible to find another "family". Although I don't agree with a lot of what Frederick Nietzche said, I do agree with his "That which does not kill me only makes me stronger." I learned this when I was in the military. "If you can't go around, over, or through an obstacle, USE it. Turn it into an advantage. Think outside the box and USE it." Use what you've learned bro. But, don't let it use YOU.
This makes you realize how some people become homeless.
In many cases they got what they deserve/been asking for
It's probably the vast majority. When a good person is down on their luck, others want to help them and don't let them end up homeless.
@@raiden031 not the case at all. I work in a shelter lol. Most are good people with no family, veterans, and people who’ve had a few disasters happen without time to bounce back
These comments... it's like they think people don't lie.
They have no family because they've burned bridges. They all say they're veterans.
I'm sure there are some people, a small number who have a mental illness but I wouldn't be surprised to hear many homeless people are just narcissists who have either burned all bridges with their enablers or their enablers are old and incapacitated or they die.
@@bradswanson7919 I work with the homeless and provide services to the homeless. You're completely incorrect and just assuming without having any factual knowledge and painting some sort of scenario that makes you feel better about yourself. The VAST majority of homeless people are mentally ill.
You also have a very poor understanding of narcissism if you think a narcissist is going to be homeless...
Im so sorry josh getting shat on by family is the worst feeling, we shall heal, i pray things are better as i just saw this video much luck and much love💖🙏💯
As a mother i just want to hug you, you are an amazing young man and have built up your career, all the while having those people try to drown you...dont feel guilty for saving yourself!!!
Good comment Denise😊 I am impressed!
That's precisely why family like this tear him down. It eats at them, his success in spite of their behavior. He removes their excuses for failure.
@@pstewart5443 yes🤓
As someone who grew up with two extremely loving parents this makes me angry beyond words. This might not mean much but I hope you've found your peace or will find it eventually.
Yeah I believe we got lucky in the parents department.
I had/have two great parents who’ve always been there for me. My wife’s mother however (I refuse to call her my “mother in law”) is just a horrible human being. I honestly don’t know how my wife came out as such a wonderful and caring person growing up with that.
My dad and I have issues, but nothing this bad. I know my dad truly loves me and wants me to make the best Choices in life but he has a hard time showing it
Yeah kills me to know that someone who is supposed help and protect their child is capable of such terrible things. I love my mom and dad, they gave me a home when I was running rough. Why I was running rough? My eldest sister, who I thought I could trust, screwed my financials and mentally abused me when I had moved out of my moms into a bad place. She was a bad fall back into a huge domino effect.
I just want to give this guy a big long hug
Yes, your family is seriously messed up 😮 I just discovered your channel, and I'm impressed. I lived with a mother who chose my brother over everyone, she would leave me on the elementary school steps, and then send a neighbor to get me! Her abuse was mental and emotional. It was AWFUL! it is very painful and all I can say is this takes a whole lot of strength and perseverance to endure. I applaude you!! You are a very good young man❤ Keep up the good work❤❤
It always amazes me to see people with HORRIBLE parents grow into more pleasant and well adjusted people. You have more redeeming qualities than all of them put together.
I'm sorry for your stress and thank you for sharing your story.
It's because it shows people what they don't want to be and gives immense motivation to the people who come to that realization.
Tough times raise strong people, easy times raise weak people.
Unfortunately it becomes "what not to be/do". Then you get older and have the scary realization that you're way more like them then you want to admit
@@BouncingTribbles Yep, it's like a constant tightrope where you always feel like you're gonna become a copy of them without even noticing.
@@boianko it's also worth keeping in mind though. One of the things that has helped me a lot is realizing that it really was just the one or two behaviors that were the problem. Like having an alcoholic parent; lots of their behaviors were altered by the alcoholism but the core of their personality, that maybe people liked at one point, is still there and that's what you're emulating
I was "disowned" over 12 years ago. Every year my mom shoots me a happy birthday text that I never respond to. There is something inside of me that knows I should never respond or reach out to them and I am much better off without them. BUT... there will always be that sadness of what could/should have been in that romanticized fantasy version, in my head, where family loves unconditionally and always has your best interest at heart. The blood is thicker than water saying is horse shit, people are people regardless of if you met them yesterday or if they gave birth to you. What they do with the relationship is what is important and everyone has the potential to do good or do bad, regardless of "family bond". Spend your time focusing on the good relationships in your life that deserve your attention, fuck all the rest.
My family LOVES to use the "Blood is thicker than water" quote on me. Problem is, the morons don't actually use the full proper quote.
The full quote: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
I left when I was 15. I'm 33 now. Best decision I ever made.
Blood is thicker than water, but you can drown in both.
Fun fact, the original phrase was "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," which actually means the bonds you choose are stronger than the bonds you were born with. It's funny that the meaning of it has been reversed, almost like a million gaslighting families twisted it intentionally.
As someone who made the mistake of responding, PLEASE DONT, if you are happy and healthier now than you were then, never go back, please please please look after your self first and foremost, protect yourself from these people.
@@river7874 blood is thicker than water but gold is thicker than both.
I'm so sorry for you having to go through all of this hardship your a very strong young man I hope you are able to have a better life without anyone from your family to have your back .keep your chin up and all the best in your future stay strong and protect yourself from the cruelty that some people are capable of horrendous acts and you deserve to be treated like a human being .your a very strong man my heart goes out to you.
I can definitely relate to your story Josh. I have gone through a similar situation with my parents and when you said "My mom chose drugs over me" I almost cried cause at the end of my situation that's what my conclusion was. I haven't talkedto my parents in about 4-5 years now and just focused on improving my life and doing well for myself. I hope anyone who is reading this that can relate to having drug addicted parents or family members remembers they are not alone and alls we can do is pray for them and hope they can do better for themselves.
when they said "boredom" that's user language for addiction. he is 100% a user as well. It is either that or he's a psychopath to let his wife and daughter do this off you and your familys money. your story helps so many people tho and you are a good person please don't beat urself up you only had good intentions.
These are grown people with adult kids. I can’t imagine being like, I need a new hobby, heroin sounds fun. My old house was a foreclosure that we bought. The previous owner did the same thing, he was an older man who had retired and started smoking crack for something to do. Sadly he went to jail at 60 and passed away there. What about woodworking or model trains Dude? It’s Crazy.
👍 agreed.
“Betrayal never comes from your enemies.”
I mean, technically it can happen and has happened many times (making an enemy an ally against an even bigger enemy)
@@tomlxyz In that case, you aren't really the one being betrayed.
Not true always. Anyone can be an enemy.
@@willldo4 that's why betrayal happens 🤦
I can see the pain in your face and hear it in your voice. I’m so sorry that they are such bad people. You are better off without them mate. Chin up and best foot forward, you deserve better and will find it. God bless you buddy and much love
Instead of feeling sorry for you, I'm just gonna say YOU'RE FUCKING AMAZING. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes and being as successful as you are ever, you pulled through each and every adversity in your life. Much respect dude
A person being unable to say sorry is usually a very clear sign they're a narcissist
"Once an addict always an addict."
Thank goodness that is 100% wrong.
I just began watching your videos, and I love them. I just found this one, and I’m surprised. Your situation is near exactly like mine, man. It’s only my mother and my sister, and my grandfather is their enabler, and they all more or less said the same exact crap as your family. I haven’t spoken to all of them in about three years now. I’m sorry you went through all that. I know full well how rough it is. I hope you’re doing better now. I choose to just focus spending my time with my wife; life’s much better now.
The problem with doing nice things to people is that the moment you stop doing them they you turn into the bad guy
THIS!
Well. Depends on the person.
@@Enlighter well when its an expected behavior. things turn sour quick.
it's called manipulation
@wrgvkrizl puzifzx thats what many people who borrow a 20 from people expect.
Your Dad called you a boy, because that is how he sees you.
Get the book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson. It WILL help you!!
He's DONE with his parents
It might help some of the Commenters, though.
@@Rensune You can never be completely done with your parents. I understand that logically you can reach a place where you understand that they do not have your best interests at heart and you physically cut them out, but it is nearly impossible to completely reconcile with the fact that the people who are supposed to care for you the most never did. That is something that often never goes away.
@@Mubiki YES, you Can.
If they're complete PoS (or otherwise severely Unhealthy) and they will Never change, you Should be done with them.
Unless you want your life to be Tragic.
And you shouldn't.
@@Mubiki That's not just true of Parents, btw
Anyone (family member, friend, coworker, etc) who treats you that way When you don't deserve it, and Will Not stop, get away from them.
Both Physically as well as Emotionally.
They should be no more than an echo you might think of once every few years.
@@Rensune You didn't actually respond to what I said though.
Most people CAN'T just let it go. That's why it's called trauma lol. What you are doing is the functional equivalent of saying "get over it". It doesn't work that way. It's the ultimate betrayal, and for most people it sticks with them their entire life.
Cutting someone off, (especially the people who are supposed to love you the most) emotionally is not just something that most people "just do". You would be reminded of it every time the concept of "family" came up in your life. What you are saying is unrealistic. You downplaying that isn't helping anybody.