my family disowned me...EVEN MORE LIES! |
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
- 🔥 NEW! Resume Reviews, Custom Resumes and Templates, Courses, and Consultations!
joshuafluke.te...
❤️ Support me because corporate sponsors rarely do!
/ joshuafluke
👊 Join the community!
/ discord
My Other Socials🤳
/ joshua_fluke
/ joshuafluke 📸
/ joshuafluke 🐦
📧 Email me directly!: grindreel@gmail.com
📧 Business inquiries: Joshuafluke@thoughtleaders.io
My Gear ⚙️: kit.co/JoshuaF...
![PURPEECH - นี่ฉันเองคนที่... (It's me) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NuhHd0hOOg8/mqdefault.jpg)
As someone with C-PTSD, this sounds like C-PTSD. Don’t ever minimize your pain because someone else has it worse. Nobody would ever tell you to minimize your joy because someone has it better. Your feelings are valid. You were at war with your family. They took pieces from you over the years, and that leaves emptiness and scars. Your pain, anger...anything you are feeling....is VALID. Give yourself the time and space to grieve and heal, and don’t compare your struggles to others’. Everything they put you through is beyond fucked up. The fact that you are here and talking about it is a testament to your strength and resilience, but don’t let that strength and resilience keep you from accepting the fact that they have damaged and hurt you and you deserve the time and space to heal. ❤️
"Nobody would ever tell you to minimize your joy because someone has it better."
^^ F***king brilliant. Thank you in advance, as I'm stealing this idea and spreading it far and wide.
@@mainhouseweightlifting4679 , please do! I can’t remember where I stole it from (maybe therapy?), but everyone needs to hear it!
I feel like C-PTSD is another made up term for people who have nothing wrong with them, just experienced normal struggles in life. And use the term “C-PTSD” to make themselves feel special
@@MSJCustoms - Just like all diseases, they can be abused and used as excuses by narcissists and hypochondriac.
But this does not mean the condition is not real, or does not present real symptoms to real people. I know of no one with C-PTSD, but Josh describes experiences I have watched occur in my family traumatized by combat experience, who have just the regular old kind of PTSD. If he's telling the truth, I'd have to classify his symptoms as some form of the kind.
Believe what you like, but don't expect to navigate reality well under such a frame.
Thank you
I really hate the way your grandparents have gas lighted you. I would tell them they should do a reverse mortgage on their home so they can fiance their drug addicted children. I hate how your family act like hungry vultures for your money. Be gone vultures , be gone !!!
This! 👏👏👏👏👏
I'm seriously writing that on my tax forms.
Josh should tell them that he's built up a bad gambling habit, and has lost all his money at the casino.
I would only connect back with this family only if (verifiable) they aren't going to pull you down with them.
That's a great idea. Put up or shut up, gramps.
Any professional psychologist worth their salt should be able to give you much more valuable insight than these internet trolls. Bring in the pros. No shame. You're worth it.
Talking to a PHD helped for me. I got PTSD. Now I'm careful to stay away from triggers.
Accept ALL insurance and then we'll talk. People are broke and because of that we're forced to face our own demons in our own ways. Sometimes that might be the only way and don't need to be paying you 100's or 1000's reaching that same conclusion. Thanks.
Phd does research typically.
Psycholigist are useless
Says you lmao
I couldn’t tell my dad smelled like alcohol because he always smelled like alcohol. Even when someone told me he did I couldn’t smell it because I was just so used to it. It makes you feel like an idiot, but when you don’t know any different you have nothing to compare it to. It’s not your fault.
Damn this hit hard... I also didn't even realize the same about my father. Even years being away from him for years wow...
It makes sense, Josh. You are in mourning, and this is like a death. It comes in waves and it takes time. Take your time and be gentle with yourself.
Josh, you are Grieving. When there are getting sudden memories, you will have "grief bursts" It does get better and they'll become less painful.
Also how quick his emotions jump from one another and it’s not a build up it might be some mild bi polar disorder.
Yes, been through it.. You are never the same but it does get easier.
@@brianlopez1340 that’s not how bipolar works... bipolar is long term emotions shifts described as depressive episodes, then they become baseline, then shift again. Some even have “manic” episodes which give heightened emotions and enegry that could last for days, with that person not sleeping.. it’s very different from what you think it is.
@@brianlopez1340 No. It is emotional upheaval!!!!!
Emotional flashbacks
“Other people have it worse” does not mean you don’t have PTSD
There are many things that can cause PTSD.
@@melanieelliott3310 yes and that doesn't mean ptsd isnt painful or should be ignored even if there are people who have it worse.
@@britegrl03 The trauma in PTSD can be ANY trauma. A car crash, death of a loved one, a lifetime of being emotionally abused. It's all trauma and if you need help to heal from it, go get help. Anyone that judges you is an asshole.
Exactly. We (people with trauma disorders) aren’t liked the people who had it so easy that they never had to wonder if they can heal on their own. We aren’t going to say you are weak. We won’t try and one-up you. We HOPE your case is easier than ours.
no clearly only one single person can have this condition and everyone who has it better is faking! /s
Please move from "Family Disowned Me" to "I Disowned My Family".
It's to late. This man doesn't need that garbage in his life anyway. Freaking leaches will suck the life out of someone. I don't need to hear their side of the story. I will never believe them. I never understood how someone could do this to their own son. Grow up. You could destroy this man's life and suck out all his life savings and it would never be enough for them.
@@harmonyjacobs3777 I don’t think they mean it in a bad way, he is the one who finally put his foot down and that’s not a bad thing what is bad is him being put in this position to begin with parents should never do this to their children
@@msuew94 your only repeating what I said. That's what I said. Your just saying it in a different wording
Second this
Fr
Sounds like you're grieving. People don't have to die for you to feel grief, like the end of any relationship. You're allowed to work through this any way you need, there's no time scale, no tick box, just keep talking to those you love and trust.
Sending strength.
Yes agree I just commented this!
This kind of grief can be the hardest because they’re technically still there, so you go into this conflict of wanting resolution but you can’t get it. There’s no closure. And people don’t seem to get that until they end up dealing with it in the most horrible way.
U are lucky to have HR & HR's family for support.
Yes
Not lucky but blessed 💗
As an addict in recovery, I just want to say that I appreciate your transparency with your family issues. I can see it is heart wrenching for you. To me it gives me an outside look on what I was putting people through. Thank you
I hope your recovery goes well.
I hear you......i wasn't drinking or doing any weeds or whatever. For me, it was a pain meds after spinal surgery. Hey, it happens. I know i'm not alone in this situation. By sharing his story, he helps himself and others as well. I'm doing fine. Been 15 years for me that i'm off that Med. Please take care of yourself.
It seems like your recovery is going well judging from your comment. 💜 Keep going forward.
I have been clean for 30+.
Wishing you success in your recovery. Hope you've made amends to those you hurt during active addiction.
This is the difference between an addict and a narc addict. A non-narc addict can get better, own up, apologize (genuinely) and be forgiven.
For narcs, they stop before the part where you admit you have a problem. So they are unlikely to ever get any better.
Also, being in a drug addicted family IS traumatic. Validating yourself and acknowledging your trauma is a necessary part of the process of healing.
I have a decent family so I can’t say this first hand, but I had a former fiancé who had a similar experience as you, but she lacked the ability to stand up to them and it completely destroyed her. First it took her sleep, then it took her money and credit score, then it cost her our relationship, before finally destroying her career when she tried to lie for them and use the resources of her job to help them. We are still friends and I can tell you she is utterly miserable, but still can’t manage to see that the chains dragging her to the bottom of the ocean are attached to her repulsive family. It’s hard and not everyone will be able to understand it, but you’re doing the right thing.
Maybe if you just leave her to some of the videos on TH-cam that are narcissistic abuse especially by Michelle Neves they really really help. I know it's hard to imagine but a person who is in that life they don't know that that's happening they may believe some of the lies. And they're thinking they're doing what they must do to help their family. But once they really know what the narcissist is and what they do by hearing examples it's just like Joshua said you hear them describing your family and that life that you've lived in in how could they know how your family really was?
It's a complete wake up call to hear someone describe your family when they weren't there with your family. If you get her that information I think it will change her it will slowly slowly change her or if she's ready it will change her quickly.
I found out just by accident a video came up and said our narcissist demon possessed.something like that was the title and I was thinking well maybe they are they're so selfish.......so I listen to the video just to find out what their opinion was about it and they started describing my mother to a T. And describing our family Dynamics. I had never heard anything like that I had never even put everything together and it was so mind-blowing. I'm thinking how did I live my whole life and not know about what narcissists really were like? I married a narcissist it was a miserable marriage. I was trying to be so careful to get a kind thoughtful person and I didn't know about love bombing I didn't know about the fakery that they do just to get what they want. And I didn't know that they're attracted to people like me I was just vulnerable and susceptible to this. There's nothing that I could say in marriage to try to fix the problem they didn't want to fix the problem. So after a couple years I left and hoping that they get their s*** together and then we'd be back together because we have a son. and pretty much the narcissist told me they weren't going to do anything that I should just come back because they didn't beat me. They wouldn't deal with any of the problems and so I did never go back I was afraid to go back I was seeing if I go back maybe they'll kill me.
And there's so much more to it but you know I even let a girl stay at my house off and on for 5 years cuz she kept having problem after problem after problem and needed a place to stay. Well she was a covert narcissist and she was just using me because I have compassion. And everyone was telling me that she's using me but I was like no she's not using me I'm just helping her. Well not until later did I find out what she was even doing and I let her in my life for 5 years. So I can understand why your ex girlfriend could be so unaware. They keep you confused they badger you they bully you and they make you think something is wrong with you. If she hears a person who was treated that way explain it I think it will open her eyes. Please if there's any way that you can do it help her receive the information that she needs just like Joshua receive the information he needed. And just like I received the information I needed without that information I'd still be blind today.
I know you cared about her otherwise you wouldn't have even wrote this so I hope she will listen to someone who survived narcissism and become a survivor herself.
❤️
Maybe u could share this series with her it might help her see it
The thing is we really are blinded from the abuse. The pain the black hole of emotions are what is familiar and true. It took me years to see it, I still can’t recognize past me. I cut every tie to mom, dad, siblings, grandparents only after I was able to see. Boundaries was the first thing therapy gave me and next was self love. The best way I can describe it is seeing colors after your world looked gray and cold.
My uncle has his relationship ruined by her parents gambling addiction. She was fine when they weren’t around but they stole so much money from him. Got to the point he told her she had to stop giving them money or leave him, so she left him. They think it only affects them but the ripple effects from someone destroying their life is huge.
My mother is a narcissist. Cut them out, block their numbers, break the chains. They will reap what they've sewn
I have been following the story of your life. I married into a dysfunctional family and i got out after 14 years. I have 2 wonderful sons from that marriage. My oldest is your age. I worked 2 jobs to raise them. I would do anything for them. I cannot understand how any parent could do this to family. If you ever want to talk to a mom, I am a phone call away. And if you need a virtual hug from a mom, , its here for you. If you want a candy bar, it will be in the mail tomorrow 😄 Take care and stay strong. Don't ever apologize for talking about your feelings, i wish more people could.
This! Don't these videos make you feel so justified getting divorced? That severe narcissism. Had to give my boys a fighting chance to not be raised with it.
so wholesome, are you an angel?
@@seedboy5948 angel, no. Willing to help anyone, if I can. Yes.
u a real one 🥹
I understand what you're going thru. My daughter is a heroine addict. I've had to distance myself from her because of the way she treats me. I to suffer from PTSD. I panic when my cell phone rings. I will help her get help if she ask but other then that I want no contact from her. I miss my daughter and feel like she is gone forever. Grieving for someone who is still alive is hard.
Amen to that
You are doing the right thing.
She has to hit her rock bottom, before she'll cry out for help.
Until Then stay safe, try to live your life. 🌻
At the moment there is not a thing you can do.
Boy, that was my story for so long!
I'm going through similar. It's been 7 yrs. estranged from on of my sons due to his lifestyle/associations. Too dangerous to have around, so had to distance in love and prayers for reunification one day. Am always available for true help, but not to be manipulated into being their buyer, just like Josh and his clan. "Tough love". I can't watch nor aid in the deadly show, but door always open if coming back to the real world a true goal/desire. So far, no luck. I keep tabs from behind the scenes, but only a user can make the call to quit. Hard when surrounded by other users, but not my choice to make. I say, "i'm mourning those not dead, and dead to those who don't mourn.". So hard to see your child go this route. The pain of drug use on the loved ones of the users cannot be denied. Drugs are NOT a "victimless crime". There are MANY victims along the line. Sry. you too go through this. Sry. anyone does. GL&TC and focus on the life God gave YOU. Self care is vital, and most victims don't value themselves enough to do this, abusing themselves further. Hope all works out well in the end. {{hugz}}
Praying yahushua (jesus)will deliver your daughter from the drugs and demons. I'm in recovery and my ex is in jail . (fentanyl) God brings the most peace. God bless.
Don't even for a second blame yourself.
Covering up is something addicts do, speaking from personal expirience. Also you can't help them unless they want to stop. Quiting is the easy part. Staying clean and rebuilding your whole life to where you never ever want to go back is totally another. You're dedfinettly a "Fluke" in that kids of parents with such problems usually follow in their footsteps. I am repeating myself, but stay strong Josh.
I also have this personal experience and I did so much manipulation that I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore or to who I persisted with this for yrs until I decided I wonted out! people tried to pull me out but I wouldn’t let them. The last 3 yrs I have re build most of my life and it was the best feeling ever better than any drug I could ever use.
Quiting opiods (heroin) is the most difficult thing in the world and is almost impossible
I was not sure of what to comment. Well written comment right here. Josh it is easy to blame yourself, but you obviously didn’t know what your dad was doing. Sounds like HR lady and her family are great for you. Huge hugs
@@Lyle-xc9pg nah.. The most difficult part starts once you are clean. Dealing with underlying issues that made you susceptible to addiction in the first place. Resocialisation, getting addicted to natural ways pf feeling good through sports etc..
Ofc you don't say that to an addict that is just decided to quit, but that is the truth. It can take years to fully recover and reinvent yourself in such a way that you start living a meaningful life. Good atonement for all the pain you caused your family, once your sobriety is rock solid is to try and give hope to your friends with the same problem. Just let them now that when they decide they had enough, you will be there for them and help them in any way they need. Honeymoon phase with opiates lasts short. After that it's all about making sure to always have enough so you don't get dope sick and can do your job.
I should probably add that opiates addiction is bad, but to people who arw sensitive to benzos and get them prescribed by a doctor, in USA often for far longer periods of time that they should be used, 2,3 weeks at most.. Quiting benzos is hell. You become unfunctional for years, not to mention if your dose was high enough, used as prescribed, but used for years.. If you try quiting cold turkey, you can actually have a seizure and die. Same with alchohol.. There is so much misinformation due to war on drugs, that I bet the war itself and it's concequences, has killed more people then actual drugs.
Such a sad story of a child thinking the best and doing the most for his family, to slowly realizing the horrible truth... stay strong josh and keep on moving forward
Sorry this is so long, but if anyone thinks Joshua is exaggerating because "families aren't that bad to each other", take the time to read this brief version of my situation. And just an FYI - I start this story after 42 YEARS of what Joshua has been going through for just a few.
My dad had three "heart attacks" and two "strokes", then two rounds of "lung failure" due to COPD in the span of 4 years, all of which required at least two days in ICU per episode. I was an emotional disaster because I lived out of state for most of that, with no way to get home. Family members called me selfish, hateful, and a horrible daughter when I wouldn't sell my only car in order to get a plane ticket home. One plane ticket, just for me, so I could come "help figure things out" for them. I had three teenaged boys, and was a single mom living 1700 miles away during that time. They didn't care. Dad was suffering, and so were they, and it was MY fault. My mother and three siblings all lived in the same town, but they needed ME to come fix things. Again.
A couple of years later, when I finally returned to the area of my hometown, I learned that my dad only had one heart attack, the very first one. EVERYTHING after that was NOT what my mother and siblings told me it was. In reality, he was OD-ing on "oxy". They knew he was taking a crap-ton of pills, and they acted like that was totally not the problem. On two occasions, he was taken to the ER by ambulance, and admitted into the ICU. Both of those times, I didn't find out until he had been there for at least two days. The doctors were struggling to figure out why he kept having "convulsions" and "hallucinations." I didn't know that not a single person in my family had bothered to tell the doctors that dad was taking five to six times the amount of pain pills he was prescribed. When I asked if he was really having convulsions, or could it just be DTs, the nurse got PISSED. She took me to a private room and called a whole herd of doctors in for a meeting with me. They asked me a million questions, and were completely surprised by my answers. NO ONE in my family, that was there EVERY DAY, had bothered to tell them that he had OD'd before, and they made the ambulance take him to a different hospital every time.
Dad was released from the hospital THE FOLLOWING DAY, both times this happened. They gave him some kind of drug to counteract the withdrawals, and sent him home. I was then bombarded with text messages, phone calls, and on-line harassment from my family, because the medical staff told the rest of the family what I said about the pills he was taking. Even though that information saved him from suffering, and one of those times I was told it saved his LIFE, "I" was the bad guy.
There were other instances of mental, emotional, and verbal abuse by my family, that was taking place in the same 2 years as those ICU stays. On one of those occasions, my sister called my son and told him that he was not "allowed" to invite me to his wedding, or the rest of the family wouldn't show up. He told her to disregard the invitation she had received, and tell everyone else in the family who felt the same as she did to disregard theirs as well. My mother showed up anyway, got drunk, and cussed me out because I was sitting at the same table as the wedding party, right next to the bride's parents. She basically yelled to everyone that I had ruined my son's wedding, because I wouldn't stay home so the rest of the family could come. Yeah, it was all MY fault. My son had her escorted out of the building, and he didn't see her again until my grandfather, his great-grandfather, passed away a couple of years later. I was 46 years old when I finally cut ties with my entire family. I've only seen my mother about 5 times in 9 years. I've only seen my sisters twice - at the funerals of my grandfather and my dad. I am much better off now, than I was 9 years ago.
The most important thing anyone in this situation needs to remember is that NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. No matter what they say, or how they try to turn things around and gaslight you, it's not you. It's HARD to walk away. The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was change my phone number, and only tell my kids the new number. None of my friends or other family members had any direct way to call me FOR YEARS. They called one of my kids, and I called back from that kid's phone. (FYI- My kids were all over 20 and living on their own at this point). It's really hard to see my grandkids, and know that they have a great-grandmother who has never seen 5 out of the 7 of them. She is entirely too toxic to even take small children around her.
The last time my son took his two kids (5yo & 3yo) over there, she started to tell them what a horrible person I was, and how they needed to be careful or I would hurt them. None of my kids have taken their kids to see her since. I am not that kind of person. They know it, and I know it. Over the years, other family members have come to see the bullcrap I had to deal with for most of my life, and some of them have apologized for ever believing my family over me. Time will prove it all out. People will see how their problems continue even after you've been out of the picture for months. People will see that YOU continue to grow, mature, and become a better human being, all while they stagnate, or sink lower into their narcissism and lies.
Literally, change your number and just stop thinking of them as family. I "converted" mine into neighbor-like people in my head. They were involved in my youth, and we had some good times, but once I moved away from them, they just weren't important anymore. You wouldn't dwell on being treated like crap for three minutes by a stranger in a store, and that's how you have to think of them. IT IS SOOOOO HARD to just walk away, but you CAN do it. You HAVE to do it, if you want to save yourself.
I was going to type a lot of things. then my mind blanked. there is so much to talk about regarding this general issue and topic and so much nuance within I doubt a youtube comment would ever suffice.
My family is not that bad, both my parents are great but they have their flaws.
I started recognizing some of their flaws and working around it, being able to love them tolerate and respect them despite those flaws. while actively shielding myself for manipulation.
my dad is addicted to smoking and my mom is most likely bipolar and has a severe attachment issue where she prevents me from trying to learn skills that would help me become independent and leave the house. my dad is over all amazing but his smoking issue is making his heal worsen rapidly. sometimes when he gets angry at me about something and starts saying that he might get a stroke. I can instantly tell he is subconsciously gas light me into thinking it is my fault that he is getting angry and that getting angry will lead him to a stroke. when i point out that it is the smoking that is making him feel this way, he says i would not smoke if you stopped making me mad. in a situation like this I learned to start disattaching from the responsibility that he puts upon me unfairly in this case. without engaging in argument I just start ignoring whatever he is spouting. as for my mother I also shield myself whenever she tries to appeal to my emotions. for example: she sometimes says "what will I do if you leave us". I avoid answering the question because anything I say will lead to an argument. I instead justify in my head that I am the child in this case and I should not try to "fix" my parents and try to parent them instead. that will only lead to pain and suffering. most of the time when dealing with people who try to manipulate you. if you just suppress your emotions a bit and try to no engage in a mind games where the end result is always loss. you would do better for yourself. in the case of my parents I believe that they do not realize what they are doing wrong. but I know that it is not my job to fix it.
Man this crazier than anything I’ve seen on R/InsaneParents. I wish you the best Josh. It’s not easy growing up in a narcissistic family.
If you want to be remembered, borrow money.
If you want to be forgotten, loan it.
How poignant coming from someone in a vegetative state
No offense, but this sounds quite like victim blaming
@@progressivedragon6664 if you loan financially unstable people money, expect them to default. And it will be your fault. 100% preventable!
It's like that scene in A Bronx Tale where Sonny tells the main character, "For twenty bucks, you got rid of him."
@@progressivedragon6664 it's kind of on the same level as leaving your car running while you go to the store.
The thief shouldn't have stolen it, but let's be honest, it was REALLY easy for you to prevent his from happening.
Seriously get a therapist man. You're a strong man and this is so tough but I think you should have someone help you and make sure you're right.
He's seeing one.
@@thedude8526 Thanks for telling us.
Josh is right!! This is quite obvious!
Good advice. Glad he’s getting help.
Therapists are a joke. People only say to get a therapist cause they've been conditioned by society to incorrectly believe they work. Get a good friend to listen for free.
I haven't seen a lot of videos of unfolding the lies of addicted family members. My family went through all of this.. and even when we knew of her addiction and were trying to help her get clean when asked, we would get manipulated like crazy because we don't think like an addict.
We finally had to break contact because every time we did, our heads would spin from the drama and the lies.
Same. My mother was an alcoholic and there was so much drama, lies, deciet and pain.
It makes me feel so bad for Josh or anyone else going through it. He’s angry at himself as much as his family for being fooled for so long. As a normal person you think, when some asks for grocery money, they’ll buy groceries. Because as non-addicts that’s what we would do.
Hey Josh, I knew that feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever I would see a call or email from them. I also have memories come to me constantly like you mentioned... Also, at 49-50, started putting things together, worse things they did than what I had originally thought.(both parents and first husband are narcissist) Josh, my husband and I are cheering you on!! You are very wise and a good man!! You did the right thing!!
I know this feeling, but after more than 5 years of no contact, I don't feel it any more and I am starting to forget how it is.
I just archive the messages, shrug, feel really annoyed for 15 mins and forget about it. In the beginning of no contact, one message could ruin my mood for days.
But it is good Josh has documented this, humans are good at ignoring progress, so when you can come back in some years and see how it used to be, you can appreciate how much better it gets.
The feeling of your stomach dropping, stomach clenching, the spike of anxiety. Yep. Haven't been through nearly as bad, but I definitely have felt that feeling far too many times when I get the text or call I was subconsciously hoping would never come...
@@YouKnowMeDuh I hope you're doing well and the emails, text and calls have stopped. If not, remember it's your life and you get to choose what to do with it!! 🙏❤🕊
"other people have it worse" ...honey, how much worse does it have to be? You're such a kind young man, you deserve so much more kindness for yourself.
Don't feel selfish,you don't owe anybody anything. Your happiness is paramount.
But that is being selfish! The negative connotation isn't an essential element. Your life is your own, that doesn't mean you screw people over
@@chickenbouilloncube7038 are you not listening his family screwed him over
@@rodneyevans4876 I know, and I am saying that calling him taking care of himself selfish is correct, because being selfish isn't a bad thing. Doing what is best for you and your own long term happiness is selfish, and that is a good thing. I agree with Josh, and I am happy he is cutting out toxic people.
@@chickenbouilloncube7038 Finally someone who gets it and recognises that selfishness isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing.
true 💯
I'm just sharing what deceit via drugs looks like. I was too naïve to ever think drugs was the issue. If you're in a similar situation maybe you can see some patterns and symptoms I was totally unaware of. Here's the number if you or anyone you know is struggling - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
You are there last line of help, try to get them to a Drug Clinic. Don't talk to them when they are high
A recommendation of youtube vids you could watch about the type of drugs your dad was/has been getting into would be cg kids TH-cam channel he’s an ex addict which explains the effects and how it makes you feel from a first hand/scientific point of view. It’s very educational and might make the things your father did make some small amount of sense. Not forgivable but just might help things make more sense.
Just give it time man, you're gonna go through all of this and heal. It sucks that these tragedies happened to you and your family but life is rough, worry about your own well-being now and your own family. (The one you're gonna make with your girlfriend)
This keeps on getting bigger, it's good to hear how supportive HR-lady's family is. But f*, this is heavy. Take good care of yourself, you're worth so much more than you got from them, and I hope you know that through and through. You say that you feel like saying you have any form of PTSD is an insult to others. Please don't think that way, because if you were to have PTSD it really doesn't matter how big the things are that you went through. What matters is that you deserve to deal with this in a way that is healthy for you. Maybe you have PTSD, maybe not. Either way it isn't an insult. I think sharing this will help a lot of people, thank you for sharing this with us.
I too have been disowned.
Success has been even sweeter than I could have known.
You're not stupid. My sister convinced me, for years, that the meth or crack or whatever, was the scented candles she had all over her house.😔
When you dont know the what the symptoms are from or what to look for it is easy not to see it even when you notice minor odd things.
Why would she not throw them away if they were making her look like that?
I’m so glad you connected to the equal nature of PTSD. You helped thousands of people start to heal. Like me.
So proud of you Josh, not sure how this video found me but I’m a therapist who specializes in addiction. You are so strong and proud of you breaking this generational cycle. The gas lighting is thru the roof. Please know you are an amazing person and don’t deserve any of this. I’m so glad you have HR lady and her loving family. Wishing you the very best, please don’t engage with your toxic family!
Edit- josh you are helping more people than you even know, thank you for spreading your TRUTH
I lost my mom to drugs. My dad told me that after I was born, he asked her to choose between me and drugs/partying. Of course she didn't choose me. She knew where we lived so she popped randomly to ask for money. The last time I saw her she showed up high/drunk off something. I was home alone and didn't let her in. She kept yelling me because she was mad because "someone" told her that I said that I hated her because she left me. That shit was painful. I haven't seen her since and I don't even know if she is alive or not.
I said all that to say that you are not alone. Some of us were born to parents that don't deserve us. Luckily i had my dad. I'm so glad you have found a loving HR Lady and her family. I wish you nothing but love and success and send virtual hugs.
@Joetoy90 Your dad did the right thing
Your experiencing a rewrighting of your entire history and it is overwhelming. This is commonly refered to the rose tinted glasses. The shades are off and your entire life is being flooded with the missing volor and contrast giving you an entirely different view of your history. Its hard, but simple acceptance is what helped me get thru it as painful as it is. Some times the simplist things are the most difficult. Be okay with not needing the how and why to make sence. Good luck, and i hope you find your slice of happy.
Both my parents have passed. All I thought about while I was living with them was the BAD. Now I miss them and wish I could talk to them because I realize now they never gave up on me though they should have. If his family is really trash OK, but they made a good kid here so I think he will regret if he closes his heart to them forever. Distance. Time. Perspective.
@@jloiterer I have a toxic mother. I was in the hospital after my mom kicked me in the back as I was walking down stairs, resulting in my arm going through the glass window as I was making an attempt to catch myself. I received some of the best advice from a nurse when I said that I hated my mom (who told the hospital it was self harm) the nurse told me you should love your mom, for teaching you exactly who you don’t want to be, for instilling the strength to never treat another person the way she treats you and for showing you just the way you never want to live your life.
I think about that in every bad situation I’m in, try and see the good and set up healthy boundaries.
I agree. What a horrible thing you are going through. You love them an d they used you. You are a good man and you will heal from this.
You seem like you still care for your family, but they seem like they don’t care. They’ll take advantage of your unconditional love.
Thats why he is not letting that continue, and rightfully so.
I just remind myself, if they had all the money they needed, they wouldn't even talk to me.
@@JoshuaFluke1 that's true man let them cut off eventually they will get arrested and get clean inside it's better because atleast someone is watching them in jail
@@JoshuaFluke1 You should defo see a professional head doctor, bro. Otherwise these pent up feelings could bleed into other areas of your life without you even realizing it!
get help for yourself you can't handle this alone, and there's a lot of good professionals that will help you through, you are not your parent's father or mother, that's not the way it should be, and that's what you should learn to let go.. let them face the consequences of their own acts
It’s so awful I can hear the pain in your voice. These things take time and as you have said the memories that come in your mind will get less and less but it’s still raw. Keep talking and doing what you’re doing as it will help you recover from this trauma you are going through 💕
It took me 2 years to stop having those random moments of realisations of lies clicking into their spot in my brain. They used to stop my world and take my breath, those moments did space out overtime. I'm still dealing with the fallout as my ex turned my child against me.
This is why he didn’t get a job. He couldn’t pass a drug test.
That honestly didn't cross my mind till now that makes so much sense. In hindsight it seems so obvious, it's odd to consider how that works
Oh shit....you are probably right about that
Do you get drug tested for jobs in the US?
@@itsnotaricaria yes most jobs will
@@Natalie-gb8tt Wth are you talking about? It's not BS.
Looking back on it now, all of it makes sense. It seemed almost too bad and dramatic but now it all ties together in a super rational way
I went back and rewatched 'An Update On My Dad', from May last year, and teared up severaly times watching you stand up for your Dad, you were trying SO hard to get him on his feet. And now this week we all learn he was PLAYING YOU the whole time. O.M.F.G. it is CRUEL what your family have put you through.
It’s incredibly cruel. And then to have his grandparents gaslight him in extraordinary fashion, make him feel awful, actually disown him for the crime of being burned out because he was dealing with manipulative drug addicts. NEVER TELLING HIM. It’s so fcking cruel. Beyond cruel.
If no one has said it yet... This is a sure sign of "PSTD flashbacks". Please try to understand, you are prefect, your family is broken. Don't let them break you. 🌸
Some people survive horrible families. Dont let them destroy your future. Its difficult but you are doing it. You can still love them but you are now seeing what a family that is different is like. Do not let the dysfunction ruin your life. You can get some counseling for yourself too.
He may be your dad, but he's certainly not a father.
its the other way around
I have ptsd from childhood trauma and neglect, those flashbacks are how I'd describe my episodes. Your ptsd is unique. My flashbacks may be more graphic but that doesn't mean yours isn't valid. You deserve help, if you're hurting there's trauma, if there's trauma, there's ptsd.
Look into the work of former psychologist Alice Miller. It will help you with your trauma.
Don't feel bad about being angry, let it all out, don't internalize it.
So sorry Josh. You ARE feeling Grief, and it's all totally ok and totally what you should be feeling. You WILL be helping others who go through similar situations. This is a dirty "secret" that even therapists and social workers don't always like admitting. Family Therapy is NOT an option. Breaking this cycle of abuse is the BEST thing you can do. There will come a day when you change your phone number, even if that day isn't soon. It's common for even women who were abused to not change their number because they actually feel safer knowing where there abusers are for a time... Eventually that passes. Eventually you'll need to change your number..when you are ready.
Drugs make people numb to others. It kind of explains a lot of what you went through.
One of the best things you’ll ever do is completely cut them all off! Sadly they will eventually overdose! There’s only a small percentage of addicts who get clean but your family are all enabling and co-enabling each other. They will forever blame each other for relapsing if they ever clean up! I love your “therapy” rants!!! Stay strong, positive and most of all NORMAL! Having a messed up family myself makes me appreciate your normalcy! Proud of you!❤️
He can't cut them off, easier said than done, it's like asking someone to cut his arm off, yes it might be infected, but most ppl can't make the cut themselves
I only disagree on one point. They won't blame each other for relapsing, they will blame him for the relapse, and use that to try and guilt trip him to get their way.
Family usually leaves a permanent scar
@@mathplusgames9964 naw it's really easy once you realise that they are pieces of shit.
It's actually not like an arm. More like a leech. All you have to do is find the right method and it falls right off!
He can’t cut them off because he needs some content for TH-cam
When you said "Get out of the way, I can't see the TV", it really hit home. It's a sour reminder of a childhood where the person you're by nature meant to look up to, discards you as someone of lesser value than a stream of entertainment. Something I'll never forgive for and you shouldn't either. The sad thing is to think that we're worth nothing more to our parents than the extremely short pleasure of sex and the 18 years after that is to them nothing but an attempt to either fix their own failures through their off-spring or discard them.
I finally cut all contact with my parents at 20 and went to the other side of the planet, despite knowing no1 here just so I no longer have to survive and actually have the opportunity to thrive on my own terms.
In Japan there's a 4-2-1 problem that refers to 1 grandchild taking care of 2 parents and 4 grandparents. Often these people don't have kids themselves, are extremely burnt out and have seemingly become soulless shells of what they once were or could've been. They're at heightened risk of suicide as they simply can't endure the responsibility on their shoulders, trying to work it all out.
Please take care of yourself first, even if it means complete removal of your biological family from your life. I've seen the ledge too many times and decided not to take the leap. It only takes one time to slip. You have found your new family, let them love you the way you always wanted to be. They will.
You are a kind soul. Your disappointment in your family and your emotional struggle are palpable. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.
This is a direct quote someone I am close to received from her Therapist regarding someone in life that is toxic "No amount of dopamine will make communicating with that person enjoyable or healthy for you."
I'm glad to hear that you have HR lady and they're family to talk to while you went through this soul crushing experience. Here's wishing for a better health and peaceful life for you
Hey man, I don't do the whole comment on TH-cam thing, mainly because I overthink what I’m going to say despite being shielded from internet anonymity, but I've been following all these videos since the beginning and felt compelled to weigh in.
At one time in my life, drugs were the most important thing to me. I hurt the people I cared about most just to get high. However, things today are completely different. I haven’t taken any drugs in over 10 years, and that’s primarily because the people that loved me the most stopped enabling me and tolerating my shitty and fucked up behavior.
I really just wanted to say a few things from the perspective of someone that would consider themselves to have been in your parent’s/sister’s position at one point:
- You did the right thing. You’re not an idiot for not seeing this behavior. They’ve lived their lives manipulating you and hiding this from you. Hindsight is 20/20. I’m sure you already know this.
- Addicts are selfish to the core, and we also are the last people to find out that we are (if we don’t die first).
- We are “sick” people. We make choices to fix a self-perceived deficiency within ourselves, and those choices are to the detriment of everyone around us. This is not to say we should not take responsibility for what we’ve done. It’s actually the opposite (at least it better be if we are clean).
- IF (and I know it’s a big fucking if) you ever take a call from your mom, dad, or sister again in the future, you’ll know a proper apology when you hear one. You’ve already mentioned what it would sound like in your previous videos. And you know what, when they finish their apology, they’ll also ask you if they missed anything, and will ask you to tell them if you feel so inclined. But more importantly, you won’t care about their apology as much as you care about what they are actually doing behind that apology.
- Life can be a painful thing for everyone. We’ve all got our own struggles. But, I am not a victim, and I am not without responsibility for my actions. The same goes for them.
Thank you for reminding me why I stay clean today (and reminding me how I used to be - your dad’s behavior is textbook). If I had to guess, I would say that somewhere deep down your parents and sister really care about you, and they truly want to fulfill the roles you wanted them to have in your life. But none of that matters to you if their actions don’t show that. They are drug addicts, and that’s what will always come first to them as long as they keep using. Every. Fucking. Time. I hope it’s clear that I’m not excusing the years of wrongs that they have done to you. Neither you nor anyone else deserves that. They’ve got their own journey to live to repair the wrong things that they have done, whether you decide to talk to them ever again or not.
On a lighter note, I’m super stoked that you’ve got people around you that love and support you, and I don’t even know you. The internet is weird like that. Peace and love.
Recently found out my mom is a meth head and I’ve been defending her to people my entire life. Her friends confirmed. She used to sing “Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me, Guess I’ll go eat worms” and cry and guilt trip me as a child about how I’d be better off with her dead. Most toxic human I’ve bet met but yours take the cake. 😔
TBh I was initially judgemental of these videos. But I would not be able to deal with the stress you're under. On top of that, the fact that drugs are involved completely changes the situation. I would never be able to support my parents like that if they were addicted to substances. I really think you're brave.
I never knew any of the drugs were involved, if i did i would have helped them with rehab or something
@@JoshuaFluke1 Yeah man it's a totally F'd up situation. Can't imagine what you're going through. I think they didn't tell you because they knew you would have put them in rehab and they obviously don't want help with their current situation. They just want to be enabled.
Drugs are destroying families across America every day, this is becoming so much more common sadly. Once the hooks are in, that's it for many. Only the high matters anymore.
@@JoshuaFluke1 Your family is one more torn apart by the opiate epidemic. 10-15 years ago, doctors had free reign in the South. At one point, Kentucky drs prescribed enough pills to their patients to supply every man,woman and child with 6 a day. Pain Clinics popped up everywhere. A large portion of patients quickly realized the street value. Doctors and other officials were caught actively participating in the criminal element part. Before long, these clinics were filled with people of all ages, acquiring powerful drugs. As the DEA cracked down in Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina and Virginia...Florida set up shop.
Clinics opened taking all the overflow from other states. They were selling MRIs to people out of trucks.
Cops did their best, trying to catch crowds of people riding 10 deep, all with prescriptions galore as they headed back home to Georgia, Tennessee and Kentucky.
As the crackdowns began to take effect, Gangs from other states showed up to fulfill the demand with heroin.
Deaths have increased dramatically. Hospitals and NICUs have and are still trying to address the problems.
Sadly, it has destroyed people of all walks because the perception that Drs were good really drew decent people in. Drug makers were paying big money to prescribing drs while lying about the risks.
Plenty of people were able to fight through it and beat it. Many thousands were not and took the worst path possible. It's horrible, sorry you're going through it.
@@dixiegirlzrule959 You do realize that the worse the drug war gets the worse drug addiction in the US gets, right?
Prior to the drug war there were no drug addiction epidemics. And countries that have decriminalized all drugs, including heroin, have seen a massive reduction in drug addiction (e.g. Portugal, which, incidentally, also increased rehabilitation funding).
Hi Joshua, remember that all of this is a process. Nothing aches like the abuse and lies coming from the people closest to you. This kind of wound takes a lifetime to heal. Salvage what is good in life and always try to live the best life you can despite of the messed up one you are shown your entire life.
My family was very dysfunctional as well. The best thing that you can do for yourself is re parent yourself and never look at yourself as a victim but someone who overcame. I hope that everything turns out well for you.
This story should be shared more. Karma is going to FUCK them up. I feel sorry for everything that happened to you.
Karma doesn't exists. Their drug addiction will likely come back to hit them, but that's not karma, that's bad life choices.
Seems like karma is already fucking them up
Man this is heartbreaking to see, they really screwed you up inside, I know this feeling very well unfortunately.
I hope after you've processed all their lies completely, you can put them out of your mind and feel normal again in your daily life. You dont deserve to have mood shifts like this man, they should be the ones feeling bad, not you.
People with good parents will never understand what it's like to be raised by a bad father.
My father still gives me a hard time every time I meet him, and I'm 31 years old.
... mostly like a npd - narcissist
why do you meet him then? why you allow such things in your life?
@@DanteTheSimpSlayer I see him maybe 1-2 times a month. Don't really care about his opinions anymore
I just started watching your videos and I'm binging you. I'm so unbelievably sorry that you had to suffer through your families drug addiction and all the BS they put you through. I'm an addict in recovery, my kids were young, I was a junkie however it takes a real p.o.s to steal and cheat your own child then make them feel bad. We (addicts ) don't really think on how this will affect our children as adults, how we eff up their lives. I'm 13 yrs clean and I still try to make up for the time I wasn't present in their lives. No one deserves that.
Josh....I have CPTSD. Those are flashbacks it sounds like. They crop up as you heal (and from triggers). Cry...pound on a pillow and let the anger out...whatever it takes. A good therapist helped me deal with cognitively identifying the ones I used to have. I had violence and stuff from family abuse and due to the severity of the flashbacks, I would black-out and relive it and think I was back it time...now I can identify when one is coming on and I have ways to keep them from being too intense so I can control my reaction...
This is so new and raw, and you have suppressed some things it sounds like. You now are able to face the things you couldn't before. You are strong enough to because you are healing...
And eff the haters. You do whatever you need to do.
You are doing awesome. And most of us are here, to encourage you and be a sounding board on your healing journey.
Addiction is terrible...be it drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, if not treated will absolutely destroy the user and his close one...It's tragic really. At least you're not enabling their addictions anymore, maybe they will get it control or be overbtaken over but you must heal and put some space between them and you. Your emotions and reactions are valid and you must not repress them.
Josh, you’ve been the biggest inspiration for me starting my channel all those months ago. I deeply relate with you and having to cut off some family man, my heart aches for you. You’re an amazing guy and you’ll keep crushing the world and reaching the top.
Agreed
You aren't crazy... It sounds like at least PTSD, because I've went through what you have gone through. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Josh is such a brave man for sharing. Yes he might talk trash but also he still hold so little faith that is hanging by a thread that his family might change.
I'm no physiatrist but I can relate. For now, let josh share. It's a way for him to cope.
People might see him as narcissistic but that is a label. U might also be seen as one and hell.. I might be one too.
Be nice. Josh just might be able to get through it be it forgiveness or forgetting and leaving it behind.
Be well josh. You still have people behind you even if there's only a few
I’m so sorry! I know how you feel, I’ve felt the same about my family. I now keep a healthy distance, and that’s ok. Take care of yourself and don’t blame yourself for not seeing what was going on. Stay safe!
From my experience, the real trauma doesn’t come from realizing the truth. It comes from realizing that the world you were living and operating from wasn’t real. Fortunately it all gets better with time and work.
Glad you have support during this time. 🐾
You don't have an obligation to support them.
Live your life bro
Sorry you're still going through all this. Don't feel guilty about saying you might have PTSD. This all really sucks. It's good to see that you're living with a supportive family.
Speaking as someone who came out the other side of a similar situation, it does get better. I'm so sorry for your loss, and sending love, hugs and prayers your way.
Yes! You disown them! That is how you deal with pathological liars, sucking off of your good will. You are a gem and they are the losers. Good for you, Josh!
Hey little buddy you stand your ground . Your doing nothing wrong . Your family is the same as mine and they used me for years . Until I. Yes I put a stop to it. People don't understand what you are trying to get through because they don't have family's like we do. So don't let the negative comments get you down little bro. I'm here if you need to talk. Lots of love to ya little man.
Why is he so little ?
My parents aren’t junkies but I had to disown them too, for similar character trait. I think not becoming like your parents is the best motivator, worked for me.
You're grieving dude. It's a big shock to process.
Absolutely unbelievable what you’ve been through, can’t imagine the anger and hurt you must feel and on top of that having to accept the fact that your family are drug addicts. Still here you are, keeping it together, keep going forward and doing your thing. Truly admire you 👍
Hello Josh .
There are many of us out there , who feel your pain !
What a likeable individual you are .
Your natural sensitivity & passion as well as a generosity of character in a constructive / positive
way to firstly continue your studies whilst trying to save your marriage and then remain solvent in a job whilst helping out your parents & family , are a remarkable and commendable testimony of
character and integrity ! .
You are truly an inspiration of determination and love of others ! , regardless of personal cost .
Stay strong Josh against all this adversity ! !
Over 430 ,000 subscribers are a reflection of the SUPPORT & LOVE for YOU MY FRIEND ! ! ! !
TEZ .
YOU ARE BY FAR THE BETTER PERSON , SON & FATHER ! ! ! !
WITHOUT DOUBT .
Bro, the beginning of your video is exactly what ptsd is, that's how everyone experiences it. The extremes are of course far apart but that doesn't discount the illness symptoms, I'm glad closure has finally come to you, now you can heal and now you can learn.
Hola. (I'm the guy from your last vid that is dealing with a similar situation w parents) I wanted to thank you for making these videos. Theres other people out there like us that can feel your pain. Stay strong and remember that you came out great. Glad you're growing and becoming your own person.
Sorry sweetie, you’re not good. Please get into therapy. I see the decompensation. I see the pain. I am not a therapist but I do social work. This letting it out is good but you need guidance to come out on the other side. You are not the sum of the incidents in your life. Your are grieving the life you thought you had and the one you wanted. Grief is hard.
@DALE L Thank you! I said this and I had someone reply that THIS (making TH-cam videos) is just as good as therapy. We’re watching someone who is putting too much information about their personal life on display and I’m genuinely concerned about possible self-harm at this point. I can’t stand reading the ten million platitudes he gets on these videos. That won’t help him, and it wouldn’t help anyone. TH-cam is not where you find the “answers” to your inter-personal problems.
@@Stocklaw release is good but he is in so much pain. I pray his girlfriend’s father sees it. He has had so much loss. All he wanted was to be seen. To have all he is acknowledged by his dad. I feel for him but he really needs therapy and I hope he gets it soon
Thank you!!!
@@perrycollins3975 that’s great. I never heard him say that
Just starting out is so tuff. Helping out your own folk is out of the question for now. I have never asked my folks for money, & my grown children have never asked me. Just keep looking to your future & supporting yourself. The fact that they don't have to worry aout you is your gift to them.
Wow. Your situation reminds me so much of mine. I haven’t spoken to my dad in...nearly 5 years. It’s the only way I can keep my sanity. Living in a dysfunctional drug addicted family is so hard. Hang in there man
They're all gaslighting you; you haven't done anything wrong. You should change your phone number though.
just block the leeches
Block them on all social media and move to another place. Don't warn them or anything. I hope you can get more real love and support to heal. I am praying for you. So sorry for the horrible image they gave you of YHWH and manipulation of scripture, I went through that with my mom and my daughter's father.
And move to another state- also don’t get addicted to martyrdom.
@@jenrich111 blocking doesn't do anything because it still logs the call and lets them leave voicemail. You have to pay extra for real call blocking now. Number change would be easier.
Blocking doesn't work on cell phones like it did on landlines. I'd set the calls to fwd to a disconnected number or to a voicemail box that never needs to be checked.
I have a number i own that has no voicemail. It rings and then says the mail box isnt set up. If that'd be useful for the subject of this video let me know.
Utterly heartbreaking. Cutting them off was the best thing you ever did. You were an enabler and didn’t know it. Stay strong Josh.
I know in the past you’ve said that you don’t want to go to therapy (or something to that degree), but I feel as if it would really help you sort out the emotions that you’re feeling.
Therapy isn't as bad as it's rep.
It can do a lot of good to people that have been that hurt emotionally.
Josh desperately need validation, and his flying lessons or riding his bike or hours at the gym won't cut it.
The difficult thing is to find a good therapist, the right therapist.
But the Atheist advice is valid too, because of his past.
@Apstore Login , there are things people consider as therapy for themselves, then there's therapy.
You have to actually go through it to realize it's not the same, at all.
I shared the feeling before.
Then, something atrocious happened and I finally went to see a psychologist, for a year. Nothing else could have helped me heal like she did ( but it's really a two person's job, you're working on yourself too).
I agree.
Someone outside of his circle.
He needs to smile again and be happy. I feel he hasn't been for a while.
Glad to hear you're becoming well versed on how narcissistic behaviour can impact lives. It's a tricky realisation but it's a good journey into giving yourself the clarity and healing you never got from them 🙏🏾
I really do appreciate Josh being able to get his story out there to help others. Cause it just reminds me of how I'm not the only one who had a shity childhood growing up cuz my mother did something similar to my sister and I and kept lying to our faces about it. I'm just glad my dad was there to support us through all of it. thanks for what you do ^_^
Son, downplaying your suffering, feeling like you should say it's not really CPTSD, is one of the symptoms. You're trained to downplay your own experience. Needing to tell as many others about it as you can, while seeming paradoxical, is also part of it--the healthiest part of you wants validation that your experience is in fact real. Suddenly feeling swamped by long-ignored or suppressed memories, when you didn't have this happen before, is also part of it--that's why it's POST traumatic stress: your mind has figured out that it's finally safe to process what you've been through. Because it's a messy, debilitating job that you can't afford while in survival mode, but must pursue sooner or later if you're going to become capable of things like knowing who to trust or how to receive real love.
Best thing is to go to a doctor and get a diagnosis. Get talk therapy--drugs are not as effective with PTSD as with other mental issues, and talk therapy is more effective with PTSD than other issues. Do dreamwork, while you're at it. Nightmares are dreams screaming for attention; the more attention you give your dreams, the gentler your dreams become. When they replay something awful it's your mind trying to draw your attention to some aspect of that event that could help you heal.
God bless you! You are on the right track.
THIS, Exactly
The humming thing... is most definitely drugs. I had a friend who did the exact same thing...
Had a friend? What happened to them? If you don't mind my asking.
You are great human Josh, never doubt that! You've done the right thing. I'm really sorry it happened to you. Take care of yourself!
I absolutely love you new-found perception of your last name, wherein you are the "fluke" in the most positive way possible.
It's okay to be mad, only actions can make you bad.
Good bless you 🙏 .Ignore these narcissistic trolls. They'll always shift the blames and have no empathy. Narcisisst recognized their own kind .This is why they're so quick to defend them.
Oh Josh... I'm so so sorry. Hugs
"I swear someone has put a curse on me" "Yeah you did, on yourself, by taking drugs." Real. Fucking. Talk.
Yea your parents really dished out a lot of emotional abuse to you. I kinda have that same problem sometimes. Sometimes I'll literally be talking to myself arguing with a fictional version of one of my parents and having a conversation about what I would like to say to them.
.. probably ruminating.. happens a lot in narcissitic abuse..
Oh man, I know what you mean. I feel like that’s our version of working out and getting stronger so we can stand our ground next time. Maybe get through to them.
Had those for years..once it came close in reality, but I never, ever, got any real apologies from either one of them...
Made my peace with it long ago.
I'm impressed with Josh. Not many people break away from their emotion blackmail.
Josh you are a positive force for many people struggling to just survive right now and because you are still engaged in an unhealthy abusive and detached conversation with your abusers is preventing you from detaching from them altogether. They do not care for you at all Josh, i know that my hurt but you've come to realize this for yourself. They know how to hurt you and exploit you. make the break now so you can return to helping people who are worthy of your talent and kind nature.
DNA doesn't make a family. How you treat ppl makes a family.
So true!
He is on point! Amen
I’m glad you’re reading about narcissistic people and relationships. I hope you feel peace soon
About the last part, you are amazing for realizing these behaviors. I am so happy to have found your channel, as you're proof that the cycle can be broken. Please go and see a therapist and be honest about any pieces of behavior that you may have picked up. You can change yourself, but they cannot. Win by being you.
Take a lot of bravery to go trough this and talk about it, you are finally closing all of this shit, hopes you get peace from this soon.