my family disowned me yesterday.. ( showing the text messages ) |
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Edit - Here's the latest video. Hopefully it provides some insight as to manipulation before it happened. th-cam.com/video/PSVwldOX4EM/w-d-xo.html
In summary, fuck you.
can relate to a lot of stuff said in this video, you the man
Yeah, that about sums it up.
Your situation resemble Terry Crew's situation with his family, you're not the only one in this situation man. Take care.
Hey man none of this is your fault. Thank you for sharing your problems and putting some of our own into perspective. In the end, cutting ties with your family will be good for both them and you
You really need to call him over. Sit him down and ask him straight up 'have you got an addiction problem?' Until you figure out that missing piece of the jigsaw you're just going to go around around in circles.
It's a miracle that this guy turned out as decent as he did with a family like that.
I'm not sure they were always like this. About the time he got out and started making a decent paycheck as a young man, his parents had something (I can't remember the details) that caused them to lose their home and they were out on the street and naturally he tried to help. That's when things started really going sideways I think.
But I agree, normal people with any kind of morals wouldn't do this to a stranger, much less their own kid.
Seriously man, props to josh
@@cswann8 Had to have been drugs. Normal people don’t start acting like that when they lose their job, especially parents. Most parents would be ecstatic that their kid could provide them a home, a car, and food. I have drug addicts in my family and those texts in the video were like looking into a mirror of what I’ve seen
Hard times forge strong men
Women too... I’m one 💜
Son, this is a highly abusive relationship. You are never going to win. It's you or him. Don't walk away.
RUN,
RUN🏃♂️💨👟
Josh you should disown THEM. You’re surrounded by narcissists. You’re no victim, but their treatment of you breaks my heart.
RUNNN
Yes. Think of this situation as you looking at a giant, venomous, king cobra in front of you. Best believe you would be running for your life.
You have to look after yourself mate ruuuunnnnnn
This guy is literally a beautiful lotus that grew on a muddy, algae infested pond. I hope that he is more successful in life.
Algae isn’t bad though. lol maybe a mosquito infested pond is a better analogy
Yes...literally...
Yeah that's totally fucking LITERALLY what he is. Words just mean whatever you want 👍👍👍
@@BootyWarrior80892Yeah blood sucking parasites are definitely a better analogy.
Yeah, first world problems are tough aren't they!
The more I'm listening I'm like "holy fuck."
Boundaries, my man. If I were you I would never tolerate such bad behavior. What they've done is so wrong.
This is almost unbelievable
iF i wErE yOu
he is just cucking out so hard it's almost unbearable to listen to.
Hes a good person. Im glad that he finally decided to stop all of the stuff thats been happening.
You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Oh thatsa good one👍
I like this one, well said 👏🏻
Excellent analogy. Never heard it but that way, but yeah.
Yes.
Good way to express one self
Wife forces divorce
Girlfriend cheat on him with his best friend
Jobs screw him over
and now his family ditch him
Somebody tell the universe thats enough character development, throw this guy a damn bone
Makes me wonder if maybe he is at fault at least some of the time. Though the texts show that it's clearly not. Just crazy to have that much bad luck.
Same happened to me ... life sucks sometimes
This underrated comment...
His huge bad luck almost makes you think if this is all made up, but I bet that's what he wishes this was...
Facts
A life lesson is that people treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
Some of his problems have to be self inflicted.
I don't understand how a parent can disown their child. Especially someone like Josh. He has done more than most to help his family and there are families who would love to have such a responsible son like him. Parents who love their children unconditionally would not disown them.
Lmao. Your cognitive dissonance is astounding. You place uncoditional love on a pedestal then immediately after going entirely ontrary to that and claiming that families would love to have a so and so son, implying most families don't love their sons uncoditionally whatsoever.
Yes, indeed I'm sure his family also uncoditionally loves him on the only condition that he remains an enabling doormat they can mooch off of.
Bro, I wish we could be friends. That moment you realize your parents were the kids you didn’t want to hang out with, you gotta believe that they were right about one thing. You are special, leave them in the past. Family isn’t always blood.. love you dude
He's now rich and doesn't need friends I think.
Its sad to leave behind your parents in poverty. They gave you life which is far more valuable than any money
Nah, it's not a child's responsibility. There is a difference between a helping hand and an eternal handout. It's amazing the lengths some of you will go to, not to have a job or support yourselves and instead rely on the generosity of others in some holier-than-thou scheme to help yourselves and ultimately, no one else.
I'd be this dude's friend any day... shit, I'd even pay for him. Lol... but fr tho, I would.
@@scholaroftheworldalternatehistfamily is valuable if they treat you like who they are to you. This isn’t a family, it’s just person who’s related who wants to use their relationship for the benefit of themself
Wow this is so true about family not always being blood 🩸
Parents who will disown you for not giving them money, don’t really care about you. Take a break from them.
It’s so hard to accept, but taking a break doesn’t work. The only thing to do is to break the trauma bond.
Unfortunately they are taking advantage of you. Trust your inner gut God given instinct. Doesn't sound like love to me at all. Run, run, run. Your actually enabling them.
I really, really dislike those people that shouldn't be called "parents"
The best thing you can do is disowning them as well, that kid of persons don't ever change, listen
Hope you a better outcome, 🙏
You are an investment to them, try and dismiss the guilt trip you are a good son.
Yes. Take a break from them for the rest of your life.
They are EXTREMELY emotionally abusive. No contact is the only way to go.
Agreed
Yes
Yes.the father sounds like narcissists.
I broke relationships with my mother and brother about 15 yrs ago. Best thing I ever did. Stay strong, you will get through it.
Cut them off , I know it’s not that ez but lord 5 years no , that’s not your problem, clearly it’s consuming you because your mind won’t be “ “mean “ they are taking advantage and beyond. Beyond dude . Beyondddddd. Truly we understand and you must free yourself from the guilt .
As someone who was told by her dad that she has achieved nothing when she didnt send money while was dealing with a sickness from being overworked, i felt this. I hope youre better.
My mom was similar to your dad, and she used to have down moments of saying "you would be better off if I were dead." And as emotionally/mentally hard as it is to admit that, she was right. My mom passed from cancer in 2019, me having took care of her the whole time because she didn't have any medical insurance. And yes she was right, I am better off in my life now that she is dead.
I hope you are thriving and healing through this journey. Sending hugs your way
Man, my mom used to pull this type of shit all the time. Any amount of gentle criticism, cue waterworks, "Do you hate me?" Always, I replied, "No, of course not."
Until one day her pseudo-vulnerable narcissistic bullshit got to me and I said, "Yes, and I have for a long time. Sorry I lied to you for so long."
People really think they can do whatever they want when they're family. I grew up in a GROUP HOME from the age of 8 to the age of 18. I'm not even sure why I kept in contact... because I care about my siblings, I guess.
I was given all of the wrong lessons during my formative years, and then sent to mentally and emotionally raise my damn self. Sure, I had a roof over my head and food three times a day, but the people who supervised my growth for an entire decade were AT THEIR JOB.
Narcissists go through their entire lives just wrecking everyone in their path, and the worst part for all of their victims is they will NEVER take responsibility. There's always some excuse, or some other justification that only makes sense to them. Every other one of the 7 billion people on this planet could tell them they were in the wrong and they'd brush it off like it was nothing.
Son, you’re better off without them, they’re taking advantage of your relationship. They’re using you.
I cut my dad off 8 years ago. Gave my mother an ultimatum. She respected me and changed her behavior. He didn't. Best decision I ever made
what ultimatum you gave them? Because I have this problem too
My mom is dead but I am on the track of cutting my dad and rest of my family off. I only really have one family member that I don’t want to cut ties with. That’s how shitty the people in my life are. It sucks 😂
@@theoutcast9215 I’m sorry to hear that man, just keep your head up
So thankful I had productive wealthy highly intelligent white collar parents that never needed this kind of pathetic help!
After racking up a $30k debt trying to help a now former friend who has learned nothing through their own choices, I’ve learned never to enable anyone again. I’m realizing that applies to family as well. Thank you for sharing your story so others can have the wake up call they need too. The religious stuff really damaged me as a child and it’s taken two decades to get this far beyond it.
Man. This guy is strong as hell.
Nah seriously. I initially came across his content for web dev stuff, but he's actually an amazing rolemodel.
Parents: "It's not always about money"
Josh: "Oh perfect, I'm going to stop paying your bills"
Parents: "HOOOOLDDDDD UPPPPPP"
Well summarized
😄😄😄😄 exactly jacob
Lol seriously
Lol!!!
Everyone: "Okay Boomer"
When a relationship turns toxic, the only solution is to walk away.
I know it's your parents but they are killing you with their demands. You may need to let them go for now
Don't let them guilt you into the continued care when they say I'll do something to themselves. Thats6their choice. First step.don't pay their rent. It has to be done. Tell father to get an Uber job and stick by it. It's the first step. Tell them if they cut you out it is their choice, they are choosing this. Take care of yourself first
Prayers to you. Good luck.
Sucks that it's always so hard. No matter the circumstance.
Leeches....come in allll shapes n sizes, my Bro. Get you some fire - n BURN em off ¡¿¡¿♡♡
100%. Family shouldn't get a free pass.
You must cleanse your soul. You can't carry others burden. He doesn't have to feel bad because he's done a MARVELOUS JOB! There are millions of parents that wish their children would treat them like he's treated his. Even though we've heard...''No Good Deed Goes Unpunished...'' we can't live by that. He is smart and good hearted. It's a shame he has to see this in his lifetime. He needs someone right now so he can cleanse. He's right about putting his foot down. Thank God he's not like some siblings that would castigate the parents and push them around. Something that was good has gone off the rails. But he has to stay on track. He's too young and kind to have his life driven into the ground.
Too bad that bad things happen to good people.
I'm so proud of you man. So many people have this toxic devotion to their awful families it baffles my mind.
Josh, I was also raised by a Pentecostal family. Both our families seem to have the art of manipulation down perfectly. I think it’s the first thing they teach at Pentecostal churches lol. Sorry you are having to deal with this. Luckily my mom saw through the church when we were young and got us out of there. But my dads family still remains there, and dealing with them is never a good outcome. You always end up feeling shamed and worse about yourself because you don’t share their high “standards.” Took me a while to realize the fault is on them and not on me. Also, I am so proud of you for seeing through this, I know how hard this is.
That would explain a lot, I grew up Pentecostal and was heavily manipulated as a child and an adult and tried to be taken advantage of, and for a long while it worked to.
This is a form of abuse called “parentified child”...
Thank you for "naming" this form of abuse for us. I've struggled with what to call it for years.
@@NinaPaulHeartofCompassion same...been where he’s at for some time.
Chidified Parent
Absolutely!!!
Thank you....it took me 50 years to figure this out. I went thru a lot of pain because of this.
This type childhood makes you vulnerable to toxic relationships and other abusive settings later in life.
"you owe everything to your parents they raised you" is the most manipulating statement. When you decide to have a child it's your RESPONSIBILITY to raise them.
lmao so true. it's laughable that any parent needs to be told that.
100% correct,it should be common since!!
@@ferget9111 sense* Just trying to improve your english. 😊
he owes everything, and yet where are the OTHER siblings in this?? I assume he's not an only child. so everyone hating on Josh, when the possible other kids aren't even helping lmfao.
lol, I'm becoming a programmer SO I can help my parents who raised me. Two ways of looking at things I guess, lol.
I was paying for 10 family members for more than 10 years. Paid for rents, cars, everything. It was to the point that I made sure they were okay and I wasn’t. I told them I couldn’t take them on anymore. They all stopped speaking to me. I was so delighted that happened. Best thing I ever did. Can you imagine if I kept paying for 15 years, 20 years..I was relieved that I finally knew they were using me. To this day, no one speaks to me nor do I care. The free ride is over.
The people who are saying you owe everything to your parents are the same people who abused their kids and now wonder why their kids never talk to them. I’ve had these people who do nothing but take in my life before, and I know how hard it is to finally stand up for yourself, and I know how much harder it is when it’s your family. this is an old video so I hope you’ve been able to keep moving on.
Josh, maybe you need to see a therapist. This relationship is so toxic!
I agree. Your dad is using you, then makes you feel guilty. Narcissistic maneuvers. He needs help and not by you.
He needs someone right now...and I'm not talking about Jesus. He doesn't need a bible lesson...he needs IMMEDIATE UNDERSTANDING AND AID!!!!!...On the other hand...he needs to know that for what he has tried to do, his reward in ''heaven'' is great. And it is sad that his parents did to him....what they taught him NOT to do to others. Strange irony........................I have MY OWN story to tell about MY parents................
We can be his therapy. 🙂
@@katiix I'LL DRINK TO THAT !
@@kteka9265 SO SAD !!!
As someone who used to know your mom quite well, and you and your sister were childhood friends with my kids, I truly believe that YOU NEED TO DISOWN THEM. Save yourself. You are amazing.
Wow world is a small place lol...u knew his parents were bad people even back then ?
You know him?
You don't look old enough to have 30 year old kids
@@Skynightburst I knew Josh (on and off) from the time he was around 7 until 17ish. Both my girls had crushes on him at different times :)
@@davem612 Thanks!
That’s not Christian! That’s manipulation and they should be worried for their own “judgment day” outcomes. You’re right and you helped them too much. I also had to learn about enabling when my mother took advantage of me and I realized it’s kinder to cut ties than to continue enabling her to be a bad person because I nullified her natural consequences by being “kind” and she never ever changed.
That's just human. There are people who claim to be christians and those who actually are. Most people who claim to be one aren't one usually.
Most christians are often hypocrites unfortunately
It is exactly Christian
your family disowning you is a BLESSING. You can finally move FORWARD with your life. What will they possibly be able to do without you? The audacity. Of course, we all love our families, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with setting firm boundaries with them, especially when they're like this. It will always hurt, but it's necessary for your progression and growth. If they're willing to drop you so quickly after everything they've put you through then you have no need for their toxicity and negativity in your life. Heal and grow, focus on yourself.
Nothing feels better or more liberating than walking away from a narcissist.
Ur so right! They are one when they don’t even know it! 👍🏻
Seconded. Turning my back on my abusive family was one of the best choices I ever made.
Hell Yh true dat
Amen
Amen.
Dads a narricist and you're the victim. They are toxic people.. Stay strong.
That's why he dates narcissistic girls
The grandma enables him too. Instead of telling her son to get a damn job she hashes out at her grandson instead
Do u know his dad has cancer??? He is supposed to help him.
@@no-one3296 his dad IS cancer.
@@no-one3296 lol, so what? its not his problem anymore , fuck people that gaslight
YOUR MESSAGES WERE SO GOOD! Praying for you 🙏 Your character is incredible.
Revisiting this video after a year and a half, I'm infinitely grateful for pouring your heart into this, it helped me so much through the toughest times, when this video dropped, I had recently been disowned by my narcissistic mother myself.
The video opened my eyes, I saw patterns in behavior in your situation compared to mine. It helped tremendously.
I'm still battling trauma emotionally, but I'm doing a lot better nowadays - it seems that you're doing better too and it makes me happy.
We're all gonna make it, bro.
Please remind your grandmother that the Bible also says: "If you don't work you don't eat." 2Thessalonians 3:ll
Came here to say this. It begins at 2 Thessalonians 3:10
The grandmother will say " I'm so old, what work can I do. I can't do anything."
The cloned children of the Fallen Angels (Aliens) have introduced religious mimicking to indirectly influence the planet's inhabitants to view GOD's Planned Workings through a variety of very blinding religious undertakings within various of the communities upon the planet itself.
Blinding religious undertakings such as Mu, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, and others.
Religious blindness great enough to either:
Hide the correct reality of GOD's Planned Workings from the eyes of the planet's general
communities and their populations.
Hide the legitimate and explicit fidelity of GOD's Planned Workings from the eyes of the planet's
general communities and their populations.
Hide the utter Truth of GOD's Planned Workings from the eyes of the planet's general communities
and their populations.
Hide the actuality and undertaking of GOD's Planned Workings from the eyes of the planet's general
communities and their populations.
Hide the fulfillment in, of and for GOD's Planned Workings through Jesus Christ from the eyes of
the planet's general communities and their populations.
The Aliens do seek to blind wayward human beings through non-religious undertakings such as Confucianism, Taoism, Socialism, Darwinism, Communism, etc.
Also, through indirectly introduced programs that center upon individualism and self.
The Aliens (Satan's kingdom of cloned children) have established religious deceptions such as ghost, reincarnation, demons, out-of-body experiences, spirit guides, and so forth.
The Aliens have had a hand in enhancing most of the religious systems upon the planet. They know how to continue to mold and use the doctrines within those religions for the furthering of their agenda upon the planet.
The Aliens have for years throughout this planets history been using different religions or religious endeavors as a tool to befool and blind the different communities of wayward human beings from the Truth of GOD and themselves.
As an acceptance of their influence and power does grow, so too will they seek a more desired end to the use of religion, or religious endeavors.
Amongst many, if not most, wayward individuals who are religious and non-religious, the Aliens do prove themselves to be quite successful:
In causing for those individuals to become blinded to the actuality of themselves through the
establishment of many falsehoods they promote.
In causing their promotion of information concerning themselves to become viewed and promoted in
a positive light.
Such individuals inadvertently aid in causing for promotion of information concerning the Aliens to become viewed and promoted in a positive light, through seeking to validate and promote the acceptance of many falsehoods promoted by Aliens within their disbelief in GOD, His GODliness, the Bible, GOD’s Planned Workings, and GOD Himself being Jesus Christ.
In that the Truth and actuality of GOD Himself is Personally established amongst wayward individuals by GOD Himself Physically being Jesus Christ, non-religious individuals who seek to promote information concerning the Aliens in a positive light, do in one fashion or another become blind to, or reject the reality and fact that GOD Himself Is Jesus Christ.
In this rejection or blindness, such wayward individuals already allow themselves to inadvertently be opened-up to the acceptance of:
Falsehoods promoted by Aliens.
Falsehoods promoted by various wayward individuals, or governmental groups which have allowed
them to become blinded to the falsehoods promoted by Aliens.
Falsehoods promoted by various wayward individuals, or governmental groups which have sought
to outright blind the public of the reality, or undertakings of Aliens.
In allowing themselves the acceptance of these falsehoods, so too does their belief in a god-like, or Higher Power accord greater distortions to validate these falsehoods.
@Cory Muro which book? Which verse did it say?
Also please remind your grandmother that Jesus Christ already returned and the bible is over and doesn't apply to today. It sounds like your parents were financially irresponsible and want you to pay for theie irresponsibility. You are right in what you are doing.
Your being financially abused son.
Yes
People will do that to you..then make u feel bad..
I just wonder how his parent going to survive? Is it normal for us to abandon them when we become adult? Does they need to be homeless after so many years rasing us? Sorry it doesn't sound right to me. Stop making excuse to justify being selfish. It is our responsibility.
Sorry man, having a family like that is rough, I hope you can keep doing.
Josh, I am really sorry you went through this. My mom actually disowned me as well quite recently due to difference in religion. Your video has really helped me get an understanding of what to do in this situation. Just know you did the right thing. Sending good thoughts your way
Sorry man. It’s awful. Sending good vibes your way.
Where were you went they sent me to cult camp fam
@@JoshuaFluke1 sorry my dude, ya know, free will and stuff. But seriously, I know all too well how your family can be a living Hell. You have handled life like a champion. Proud of you dude.
@@thejesuschrist
Jesus Christ I am a soothsayer and I saw your second comeback and it will be before 2040
But the false messiah Horus will shows before you he will show before 2030
Hello Jesus
You're a good dude, sorry about using your name in vain
When you grandfather says he "hopes you can go through your life without any family", all i think is "i hope you get to go through the rest of your life without that family". Cut these monsters off and start your own family.
You can always just make your own family.
Loved it. 👏👏👏
I'm the mooch of my family. I live with my aunt i pay her rent off my disability and I only ask for weed money every once and a while. Never more than 20. But when I moved out of state I did decent for myself I worked, had my own place ect. Only thing hindering me was my meth addiction. Now I didn't spend crazy amount of money on it, it was more the people I was around and decisions I made.but when I move back my family treats me like I'm incapable and crazy so I don't even try. So I'm packing up in March and hiking the AT.don't know what comes after that, but I'd rather be homeless than feel useless. I love my family but they enable me not to mention they don't trust me with the one thing I'm great at(fixing things) sorry just had to vent. This video made me think about things. A reason I dont do anything too is my family are kidna bullies. I'm afraid they'll roast me for my job, girlfriend choice ect. They grew up middle class with supportive parents and I grew up with abusive poor ones.
Ironically my biggest bully in my family was also the only one pushing me to be better instead of just pushing me to get a job. To him roasting me was a way of encouragement he's really competitive and thought it would make me too.. Unlike the others he'd make time for me and encouraged me to follow my dreams and travel. His year death anniversary is coming up and I regret being so bitter towards him.again sorry if this doesn't belong here, but I'm venting and I have no one to talk to in NY.
Wow. This makes me appreciate my family so much more.
Thanks for the openness!
Josh, I know this is an old video but thanks for sharing this. Honestly let’s us all know that everyone is going through difficult things with our families. Much love man, you’re a really chill and good person and I hope things have gotten better for you.
The ironic thing is that they tell you that not everything is about money, and then disown you because you won't give them more money
lily-liver they clearly don’t practice what they preach, it’s honestly disgusting how manipulative they are, if this is how they treat their son imagine how they would treat people they genuinely hate or even potential employees (if his dad had a job).
@@trydodis690 from my experience people like this usually aren't even that bad to people they genuinely hate, they're just manipulative of those close to them
@@goldeternal lol is this Josh's dad? Did you make a TH-cam account to defend your laziness? Good luck dude
@@nobody2021 I looked and his account is 6 years old.
@@goldeternal I mean do we as an observer on the whole situation have any right to make any assumptions about their conditions
I’m about 8 months late but hearing you say “fuck you” was just a good feeling
👊🤑🖕 👈👀 👁👁
You're damn right it was! Lol I don't know these people but I was still right there with him. "Yeah! Fuck them!" 🖕 😆
You are 1000% correct. You don't deserve to be treated like this. 😢 I'm sorry for your struggle.
I’m sorry to hear about your hardships. You are a very kind person who deserves RESPECT.
YOU didn't destroy your relationship with your dad. Your dad did. Maybe he'll grow up and realize it someday. Be happy you finally broke the chains.
He'll realize it when it's too late - like on his death bed.
Evil generation .
Run, run, run away Josh from all these people. They are totally toxic.
Definitely.
....... exactly !! ....... i see the beginning of an awakening ....... the rage of a realized injustice ....... but, i'm not seeing the resolve necessary to make a clean, uncompromised break from this toxic/corruptive connection . ...... give your abused/confused person to Jesus Christ 💜 ....... and avoid religion like the plague !!
That is great advice.
You are such a beautiful soul, and your videos about the corporate world are so on point. Keep up the good work
You earned my respect, man!
His text messages sound like a drug addict or alcoholic. I’ve had similar experiences. You’re absolutely right Josh. You did way more than you should have. You are an awesome level headed guy. I have total respect for you!
Could be gambling also, from experience 😔
That was my thought, when it's this extreme it can only be some kind of addiction.
They're destroying the relationship, not you. When someone only likes you for your money, that's a bad sign.
Stay strong you just went through the same thing as I did, it’s poison don’t drink it anymore.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Their entitlement is pathetic. Stay strong. Don’t let the guilt trip effect you. You have given enough Joshua and you have your own obligations and responsibilities to take care of. There comes a time when we need to stay clear of the toxic people in our life. IMO, this is it. Live your life Joshua. You deserve to be happy. Love and blessings to you.
I'm 40 and a physically disabled veteran. I'd swallow a bullet before I put either one of my kids through this. My heart goes out to you man. Its a shame too, I can't walk but I can still use my two hands to make my own damn living. My job is to always have a roof for my kids even when I'm dead and gone. Doesnt matter how old they are.
Hey Josh, I agree, although we're to *honor* our folks(I'm not a boomer,lol, GenX here) and I do, not matter the circumstance. As far as my daughter, I went through a medical bankruptcy and never asked her for a dime despite my health after a rare transplant or for anything else, in fact when I couldn't get to the store I had HER name on my CC, so it would go on my account. Aren't your folks on social security at age 76 and 77? They should be and it is an income, my folks both get SS, even my Mom, who never worked(she was a housewife, so she qualifies) and I'm NOT talking about welfare, SSI or other things.
You mentioned *paying ALL their medical bills?* I've had a transplant and know even an ER visit is thousands, ambulance is $800-1000,and one stay is 10,000+, so how much was it and don't they get Medicare as ALL people get at 65? Just curious Josh, thanks! :)
GOD 🙏🙏🙏 BLESS you 😜. And thank u for your SERVICE 💖🙂!!!
@@amygwenn5189 I'm not sure if Josh is going to see your comment/advice since you posted it as a reply to another comment.
God bless you!
@@onemanarmyoma0155 Hey thanks for telling me. :) Yea, I wondered but right now I'm dealing with Ewe tube issues and my stand alone comments are being deleted, or as one creator told me, went straight to his spam folder, so I took a chance. If he doesn't see it, I'll have to wait, but am curious since their ages are pretty advanced, almost same as my folks. Anyway, have a great and blessed day! :D
"phone money and my friday allowance"? WTF? Is this your dad or your teenage daughter?
Is it customary for this with teenage daughter?
@@nateportney672 Before that teenager is old enough to work sure. In my home if my children maintain good grades and something extra curricular I have no issues with an allowance. I already pay the phone bill. I want them 100% focused on their future. I will focus on providing for them. That said, some families can't do that. That's ok. I think the point of the original comment is that Josh's Dad is acting like his child.
FR, my dad might have bought me my first car at 16, but he said if I wanted gas for it or money to go do stuff, I had to work a part-time job. Been working since 16, and couldn't thank my father enough for teaching me the important lesson of working hard
on top of getting free rent from his son and a car with insurance for how many years? wow
or teen son
i went thru similar as this guy only im the daugter
my younger and spoiled brother got out and far away once seen what i was going thru
adult ppl like this exist
also in my case i was the biblical one and they are antiGod
Getting an allowance from your own child should be the most humbling, bitter-to-swallow pill of your life. This guy's attitude leaves me speechless
You have done amazing Josh! You are a beautiful soul. Your family maybe asleep and do not wish to wake up. Leave them in slumber . . while you go ahead and 'live your life. No efforts are ever wasted! You have laid down a blessed path 🪁 . . coming from knowing you have done your very best and now it's time for you. Big hug 😇
You see peoples true character when you stop giving them what they want...and you cant keep helping someone who wont help themselves...
Been there done that and found out who my friends are.
The narcissistic behavior becomes so obvious 🤮
This happening for 5 years is unacceptable, it’s almost like YOU are the father.
Its called parentification en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification.
But but.... I'm just trying to settle down a bit
Anybody else read that last part in Maury’s voice?
It's rather completely like that
Man you’re life is heavy. Respect
i just recently discovered your channel and this is pretty telling and shows what type of person you are. my family is abusive as well but not in that way. i hope it will get better for you.
I hate those people that ask you to respect and give to your parents when NOT ALL PARENTS ARE GOOD. Those sort of people are ignorant and act like their parents are everyone’s parents. To me, the term ‘family’ isn’t relevant. Blood isn’t thicker than water, blood is as thick as everyone’s blood, therefore loyalty should be given to those who are worth it. So far from what’s provided in your video, i would say you made the right decision. Don’t listen to others who tell you otherwise just because they have no backbone and a dogmatic loyalty.
The full saying is: “ the blood of covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”, meaning that Christians are closer to each other than family. So that phrase actually has the exact opposite meaning than most people think it has.
@@Sundown_Clown474 ouuu wow i never knew that! I guess the saying was twisted in society to form a narrative that we all think it is today. Thanks for letting me know!
@Mr Sansational yea i don’t get it, you weren’t born into the world (which is ur parents choice to have a kid) just so you can be a slave, demeaned and belittled by your parents. That’s not why kids are born. You’re not a punching bag and technically do not need to take unfair crap from anyone including parents and relatives. Respect goes both ways, respect your kids and they’ll know you deserve it back. I would recommend that you do not stop taking up for yourself because when there’s unfairness, kids gotta stand up. I’m sorry for what you’re going through and i can understand the pressure of having no one on your side, but keep at it and don’t let yourself be beaten down.
Church!
I really value the phrase "respect is earned" and that's what i live by. No matter your age or who you are, respect me and i'll respect you.
We're your family Josh.
Y r u gae
@@Kevin-cy2dr no u r geh
When I first read this it sounded ominous. But then I looked at it again and it's wholesome. How?
Aurora Therrien uh how is it ominous
@@auralluring At first I read it "where are your family Josh?", and I thought this man was making fun of him. Then I reread it.
I feel this whole video man. Growing up I realize that you need to take care of what takes care of you. And if this gets to anyone, remember, most things in life are just trying to be sold to ya.
Just found your channel a couple days ago but you seem so honest and realistic man , much respect.
There is no way you're the bad guy in this situation. God bless.
I don't know this guy and I don't know the situation but one should always keep in mind that there might be a way. I've seen so many people get burned because they supported people they thought to be good and kind, who turned out different.
I'm not saying don't support him. Some people grow up in a toxic environment with a toxic family. I'm saying, especially with online personalities. keep other options and perspectives in mind.
I can deeply relate with this guy. My mom used me for loans for her personal agenda when I was already working and supporting the family with basic provisions. Her manipulations then brought the family a lot of bad omens. Since my and I were living with my grandmother, my mom went into my room found a book which I was using as a diary then my gran kicked me out. Since then nobody was living a stable life all because my mom got greedy with me and she wanted more than I can provide.
You are being used. You have been there enough. It is time to let them do it for themselves. If they can’t see that you have been helping them. If they need to stand on their own 2 feet. If they can’t handle it. That is their own fault. They can get government assistance if there’s no way that they can get a job.
As Nancy Bush said. “Just say no “.
@Stella Hohenheim Not sure what your point is. Nobody else is entitled to his money no matter how much he earned.
@Stella Hohenheim
It sounds to me that he earned his money. What does it have to do with the emotional blackmail of his parents?
You did nothing wrong. Your parents should be able to care for themselves.
They should also be ashamed.
Exactly! The problems is that......ugh.......when the pandemic hit, everyone (except for the 1%) just about well got laid off and were out of the job, and there won't be any jobs as long as this dreaded virus continues onward! My mother, thankfully, has a "nurse" job, therefore, she's able to successfully get paid and she is NOT at all facing any layoffs, so, we're very lucky thus far! T_T
@@KingMickeyMouseOoO I got laid off, but I went out and got a new job which pays much more. Maybe folks need to buckle down and get out their interview clothes.
@@Brush19138 Thank you for sharing! I'm sorry that all of this went down for this poor man! My wife and I can't save everyone, but was CAN do this! Spread the truth as it is!
Spiritualism is greater than religion! Trust me! @#$% the god @#$% cross! Love and nurture the ankh!
☥✔️ ✝️❌
Listen, in a nutshell, I was raped, beaten, forced to go to bed without brushing my teeth AND my father put sugar on my teeth just to make damn good sure that my baby teeth would rot! This was my childhood! I was in countless forms of child pornography, and I was forced to endure the literal depths of Hell! BTW, my father was atheist, and he said, "I'm not going to Hell, because it doesn't exist! I can do whatever I want in the world! And you can go to fucking Hell and rot there!" My wife and I fight for people like you! We do our absolute best to send out positive vibes and that alone can help you all out! This is what we do!
pics.me.me/female-male-life-male-male-death-modern-ancient-egyptian-ankh-5456812.png
@@KingMickeyMouseOoO People like me?
That's awful, I'm sorry man, hope things get better for you.
Best wishes to you and much healing to your family!
Thank you so much for your story. Honestly this sounds EXACTLY like what my dad would do and I recently came to yhe realization that he's a covert narcissist 🤦♀️ thank you for being you and sharing!! You're definitely not alone 💜
Joke's on them: They just _lost_ their ATM...
Tell them that you need money, and you will see how fast they start pulling away.
YES!!!!!
As a guy who was exploited by my abusive parents during my military service for money, i know exactly what he's going through. Soldiers don't make much, but i was sending home at least 1k a month at 19 years old.
When i stood up for myself, i was disowned and disparaged.
Never feel sorry for doing what's right even if blood is involved
I’m glad I’m not alone in experiencing being gaslighted and manipulated. There is nothing wrong with speaking your thoughts and creating boundaries.
Imagine asking your 30 year old son for your allowance.
Pitiful people all around. You stay strong and keep no contact as your plan
@@jonjon738 thats their job the fuck they made him he didnt ask to be born
@@jonjon738 I hope you’re not a parent.
@@clarissa8477 That is obviously someone who is going to burden himself upon his own family. Want to bet they vote for democrats too? Deadbeats gonna deadbeat.
imagine being a 30 year old airing your personal filthy laundry online for clicks and money.
"You owe us for raising you!"
Uhhh no, I didn't ask to be born, and you didn't do me a favor by supporting me through childhood, that's YOUR JOB AS A PARENT!!!!
Yes, but in normal families I do think you can show some appreciation for doing the parent job well. It doesn't hurt. That's what my, kids who never had to take out a student loan, did for us. Parents who required their kids to take a student loan did NOT do their job.
@@danluzurriaga6035 you say that as if everyone has the money and capability to shell out cash for college...
@@AeridisArt any able-bodied and mentally stable adult can. It's just a matter of how hard you're willing to work for it. Think I'm wrong? Join the airforce, or the navy, or if you're real desperate, the marines. You'll get college if you want it that bad.
@@AeridisArt and student loans exist, it's just a matter of if you have the drive and will to effectively use the loans and pay them off.
@@jacobp.2024 I was commenting on his statement that "you're parenting wrong if your kids take out a student loan".
Thanks Josh. I just came across your vids. I got a similar situation with my family. Have not spoken to any of them for years. Extended family guilt trip me too. Whilst im older you have maturity and strength beyond me. I hope you are now living your best life mate. Theres the family you inherit. And then theres the family you create. Wishing you all the best.
I can completely understand and empathize. My situation was all too familiar. I know what it feels like and I am sorry this has happened to you. It is a bit weird but if you feel like you want to vent or reach out there are some of us out there that have similar issues and experiences, do it. Be strong. 🤙
Child abuse doesn't end at adulthood. It continues. You have an amazing heart im so sorry your kind heart has been bruised and used like this. Its hard to walk away but ur mental health is everything!!! Much love.
When people tell you who they are, listen...
Your story and mine sound very similar. I was in my 40s before I was able to set boundaries. It hurt like crazy to have to totally leave my Mom to her own responsibility. Now I am 52 . She has been sober for several years and she just gave me money... And I let her. Because even though she never said I'm sorry ... Thank you for all those years you helped me ... It was one of the only times in her life she has been able to give back in that way. I accepted it with humility, grace and gratitude.
underneath it all is their feeling of low self worth... To see you succeed only highlights the places they have failed as parents. It's twisted thinking that does the opposite of the unconscious intent on their part and that is to feel better about their own perceived failings, when in actuality treating us that way ... Makes them feel worse.
I went no contact for over a year with my Mom. My Mom said some incredibly hurtful and untrue stuff to me and I just cut her off. I think it was like 20 months.
During that no contact time I felt that freedom you describe as well. It's crazy because you are free but being the adult survivor of narcissistic parenting, you never really feel free or worthy , that is generational , it is so incredibly tough to break from. You have to step out of it and look deep inside.
It's also why you choose friends and partners with that tendency , because in a twisted way ... It's comfortable. We know how to navigate it for extended periods. Which is not a skill that you purposefully sought to add to the tool box but the resilience, character and integrity that one gains is unparalleled. Particularly when it causes you to want to not repeat the cycle.
One thing that helped me to release my Mom and forgive her , therefore releasing my self , was to recognize the parenting she had. And while it did not make it ok to continue to enable her. It at least gave a perspective that she was only able to work with the tools she had.
There was a very tough couple of years there and have been establishing a new relationship in the last couple, but her and I have both done a bunch of healing and she has really done some personal work.
I can now have a relationship with her that has healthy boundaries and is evolving in new ways.
I still have narcissistic gas lighters attracted to my empathy and kindness but I have been able , and continue to learn to be able to, more quickly and more readily recognize the energy right away and I am very mindful of who I let into my space.
When you come from this kind of background creating a safe space of your own , exploring who you are autonomously , discovering your hopes and dreams is crucial. Absolutely critical at the point of breaking ties... So you establish a sense of self separate from the role you were given in the family.
All the strong emotions you have are all normal too. So do not beat yourself up about any of them. Let them roll through Remember that .... Feel them , scream them out when you are flying ... Do rituals where you cleanse your energetic body as you move through the wind... Whatever ... Always be releasing...
People do not realize how this stuff stores in your body and gets wrapped in your physiology both physical and energetic.
Do some research in epigenetics to learn how to break the Neuro pathways that were created and rewrite new ones...
I'm rambling ...
I am super proud of you ... from one survivor to another ... Your best years are ahead of you... Don't worry about bridges behind you ... build bridges to your creation.
Those that are meant to be in your life will come back in when the time is right.
All the blessings.
I’ve been following you for a short while, having found you through your work posts. But, watching this… what a gem you turned out to be. You’re an incredible person and your family are absolutely deplorable. I hope you’re well shot of them now. I know many people who were better off without their rotten family members. May only good things ever come your way!
Man I just watched this entire video for this first time. My thoughts:
1) your family is king of emotional blackmail
2) you should NOT have to support fully capable parents
3) tell your grandma “God helps those who help themselves”
4) wishing you the best
Emotional blackmail is soooo correct
You don’t “owe” these family members a single thing. If you can move away & don’t leave a forwarding address.
...... thatz what i thought.
Save yourself. You owe them nothing! We all love you! Stay strong. It’s a shame you are going through this. Always remember; family or not, Karma doesn’t have a menu... What you are Served, is what you Deserve!! You came through them BUT you are NOT of them. You at least now know where your father will got is NARCISSISTIC behavior. Stand your ground sweetheart!!🌹🌟🦋
Great advice
You need to have a “me” time . When you get a good fortune and have more money you can always go back and help them when you have extra... not regular help , that’s it . Take it or leave it . Block his telephone number . You can make a call on your own time .Dad is your family , but your priority is your “me” time. He can have help from you when you are able .
@@teresa0923 ........ 'blood' is not a valid reason to sustain toxic relationships ....... this, i know ....... been there/lived that 👩🎓
I feel sorry for your experience! I'd give you a hug right now!
Take care!
My heart goes out to you, bro! I've known people who always wanted money and didn't want to talk to you unless they were asking for it. I recently ran across your channel a few days ago, although I did see where I watched one a year ago, but didn't realize all the content you had lol! Please keep it up. I'm making plans to transition from an employee to self-employed and your videos inspire me to keep going for the goal!
If anything, your grandparents are irresponsible for not raising your dad to be responsible for himself.
And women should also be able to take care of themselves!!
Can't his dad move in with his parents?
Maybe the grandparents did teach their son how to take care of himself he just didn't put forth the effort has he became an adult.
@@rhondamartin1251 anybody that is the parent of an adult child knows that the people you turn out, at 18 Tru 25 I suppose, change who they are they continue to grow or they stop their growth process we as parents are not responsible for that
Take the time to dig into this unfortunate issue.... it is not from the grandparents......keeping the focus where it belongs is really the only way to deal with it....
Blood doesn’t make family. Love, trust, respect, loyalty, and understanding- make family.
Absolutely right.
Blood doesn’t make your family, Those who would give their blood to you and sacrifice themselves are your family
I absolutely agree with this! --
For instance I am choosing to distance myself from my situation because nothing good can come from staying with toxic☢ hurtful and an emotionally manipulative "guardian" who acts more like the schoolyard bully that you would typically see in 80's flicks rather the person that is supposed to be lifting me up 😔 I hope more people are blessed enough to see your comment 🙏
2×👍 *WAAAAY* the f ☝
Blood doesnt make family
Caring does
He should pay it all back
His dad cared for him when he was infant
Now he doesnt pay freaking rents
Wow
Ungreatful
blood does make family guy's. even if they treat you bad sometimes, always give your parents respect and always try to reach out to them and help them in your own way. There is benifit you can not even imagine helping anyone in need especelly family.
I feel for you buddy. You are a good guy with a huge heart.
People who make you feel like shit, who treat you less than what you're truly worth, are NOT your family. Blood means NOTHING and in your case, you're a damn miracle. Keep up the good work.
Your dad sounds like a vulnerable narcissist for sure.
What I just wrote
This truly sounds like narcissistic abuse. I had to cut ties with both of my parents for similar reasons. And suffered similar out comes. In the long fun. Love yourself enough to move on! No contact will set you free!
You might consider that you've been conditioned by narcissists to be their slave/savior. Don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Best of luck.
I agree man. I’ve had this similar programming took me years of conscious effort to reverse it
I was and I still... I'm struggling with it. I cut the cord 6 years ago.
Definitely narcissistic parents - lack of empathy for Josh, exploitation, entitlement. Guilt-tripping is the definitive sign. The only proper thing one can do in such case is - cut all contact. Forever.
Well said. Josh seems like a great guy, and I feel for him.
Wtffff!!!!!!?
Really!!!
Is there humans like you in this world ????!!!
Im ready to eat stones for my family .
I’ve never related to a video SO much in my life. Wow, bless your heart. Familial pain is like no other. Stay strong beautiful soul ❤❤
You are great man Josh, don't worry about your parents. I am overwhelmed with my family as well but they have really trouble situation because of war back home.
I really feel I understand what you feel, and that you need a family around you sometimes when life gets tough and they are not there. But I want you to understand this, you got to take care of yourself, they need help, and they are grown ups, they can figure their shit by themselves.
Don't worry about them, Josh, I feel you bro I have similar situation where I feel when I need someone I have no one... I am sorry for what you have been through bro.
You got to change the way you think, life is shitty for a fact, but you have to get busy with something makes you feel happy and alive. Build your life away from your x, and from your family as well.
Holy shit dude, you've been gaslit by everyone. Respect for persevering through everything but I hope you are able to surround yourself with positive people in the future.
The unfortunate reality is that when you're raised in a household with people that act that way, you become conditioned to associate that behavior with what love and family looks like so when you seek love and family, you'll hone in on those traits. It's an awful cycle that there's no easy solution for.
Ok chill we don't have the full background. We don't know if his experience is explained objectively so let's chill.
How does this even work...
@@1mol831it's part of the reason why poor people have kids. Eventually one of the kids will strike it rich and support the family. Filial piety it's called. He just doesn't want to do that anymore. His family didn't raise him right.
Being disowned from this sounds like a blessing.
@James Bond p
So, I went through something like this with my family. They would often end up threatening to kick me out (despite paying rent and a bit extra to help out, while my sister went rent free), and other nonsense that would always turned out to be a bluff. I decided one day that enough was enough, and instead of calling their bluff I took that as an invitation. Packed my essentials, walked over to a friend's place, haven't been back since collecting the rest of my possessions.
Despite knowing that the situation is that toxic, and the only thing that would wait my return is further disappointment and heartache, and that I am better of, it's still a weight to bear. I don't have a father to turn to. I don't have a mother to console me. I don't have my sister, either. I made the choice to break those bonds but it's still damn painful, and it doesn't settle until you come to terms with it.
James Bond it’s a toxic relationship. You dont want to let go, but you are essentially killing yourself with it.
Just listen to what they did to him.... i’ll take the emotional baggage, and ship them off, bye bye.
@@epmcgee Make connections with new people around. Get a girlfriend, make love etc. Only if they come with apology and forgiveness maybe then there's chance for being back together. But sadly such people are selfish and hardhearted to start with, so it might need a miracle for it to happen.
Sorry you’re going through this, but I am proud of you.
Sorry to hear this. It's tough when people are selfish, especially family
The baggage has cut itself off, you're free now man
Amen....
Ironic the ones that are burning the bridges claim you are. Set yourself up to be free in the future of all burdens. Invest that money and tell the extra baggage to fuck off. Put your foot down, they've burnt their bridges.
That's exactly what I said about my Aunt and Uncle when my mom stopped talking to her sister. Annoying, wrongfully critical Republicans who don't understand the words coming forth from their mouths and why none of us every enjoyed coming over for Thanksgiving, Passover, etc. And now it's like they don't exist.
He isn't free....... this will have a emotional toll on him for a long time. It always does. Not having family leaves scars that are extremely hard to heal
@@TheShootingstarhero Not if he was never close to his family in the first place
Sounds like a good Son with a Father who gave up on trying in life.
Exactly
Threatening suicide is a level of pitty party. Call welfare and report senior needs help.
Epic role reversal handled well. Listen, you are the turning point for your family line. They have all suffered trauma and they pass it along. You are the first one aware enough to change this pattern. Stay a safe distance, forgive them and make a great life with a great family of your own. Break the spell. They cannot!