Turning the page on toxic family is very difficult. I feel for what you've been through. I hope your viewers can take heed if they're in similar situations. IT IS NOT WRONG to distance yourself from TOXIC people. Good for you brother. Good for you.
WOW What a small world! My favorite aviation youtuber and my favorite coder interacting with each other!!! It's funny, I didn't put it together until just now that y'all are both from Utah. Are you friends IRL? I'm totally geeking out. Anyhow - great words of wisdom Cory as usual. Great vids and as always great wisdom. Hang in there Joshua!
I'm actually going through this right now. My mom came over today (randomly) to tell me she's going to pray for me. I'm not religious at all. She doesn't even see how pretentious that is.
@@IsaacDozier1 You don't need to be religious to pray to The Most High and he knows your plight Lukewarm Christians use it as a weapon to guilt people into putting up with their crap making it hard for people who need to hear from him the most. But know they will get their due soon. Real Christians don't judge and don't bother judging people they will offer support and let you find your own way. Hopefully all of you going through trying times will eventually find your way to happiness.
It's one thing to be useless or incompetent but his dad needs situational awareness. If you're useless stop acting like you're the boss. If he was depending on his son, he should have made it as easy for Josh as possible; not cause him more trouble.
@@Natalie-gb8tt A number of things. I'm not super familiar with Josh and his family history, since I've only watched a few of his videos, but for one, his dad appears to be a crappy dad, based off of what he supposedly did in this video. Plus there are a couple other videos that Josh has, that covers his years of being born and raised in a cult. (And I'm not meaning the Mormon religion, since they are in Utah, now. Even though its not really a cult, but a lot of people ca it one.) But if his dad has really done half of what Josh said he has done... Man, that's one crappy dad. Maybe he was a better dad when Josh was little. He could have been an attentive and loving dad. But based off of the videos and what Josh has said in them the past few years, it sounds as if his dad is a horribly manipulative, self centered jerk, who guilt trips Josh into giving him whatever he wants or needs. I dunno. Some people may disagree. But based off this video, alone, his dad sounds like he wasn't the best person, let alone parent. But thats just my take on it, and I'll respect anyone else's opinion on it, even if it's the opposite of my own. There are always at least 2 sides to a story, and some people may empathize with the dad to some degree.
When I hear Josh speaking, I realize he is not aware of who his Dad is and that the truth about the guy and what he does is completely UNKNOWN. I would recommend about 3 years of an hour daily on youtube channels that deal with narcissism. There are too many, but one that speaks about these kinds of people is called “The Little Shaman”. For some reason it seems to take forever to understand and get those boundaries. It’s because of the attachment trauma. Josh actually has a similar problem to his dad (except the dad can’t get well). This explains Josh’s situation perfectly: th-cam.com/video/Mmac6AV8bjg/w-d-xo.html
There's an old Chinese proverb that states, "If you wish no one to find out, don't do it." I say this to people who bitch to me about suffering consequences for their own mistakes.
You’re breaking the dysfunctional cycle passed down through your family. Your kids will have a better life because of it, God bless you man. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all this, I couldn’t imagine.
Just by talking about things that are bothering you, is therapeutic. It is good to unburden, by talking, gives one a relief. And stop blaming yourself for your family’s problems.
Not just relief, but also perspective. This is one reason why a therapist is a good idea. It doesn't mean you are crazy or have mental issues. It just gives you an outside perspective.
I remember my counselor showing me a quote that went something like..."You tell your story and you tell it loud. If someone is angry about how they are portrayed then they should have behaved better. " Love, big hugs, and prayers flying to you.
I want to tell my story. Parents both narcissistic, drama, trauma, cutting them off completely 6 years ago. We're NOT wrong. No guilt. I'm telling everyone.
Josh - I am a mom of three sons and am probably old enough to be your mom. I want you to know that you matter. Your mental health matters. Your ability to trust matters. No one has the right to strip you of your voice, your choices, your mental well being. Family comes in all shapes and for some, a “chosen family” is the only family who matters. I wanted you to know, speaking as a mother, that I am proud of you. My children are not extensions of me. They owe me nothing. That’s not how it works. Stay strong. Please know that there are parents out here who support you and would gladly stand beside you if you needed it.
You sound like the mother everyone needs. You’re a very kind lady for giving Josh support at this difficult time for him. I wish you and your sons well!
@Kelly Larsen...You’re a 100% correct!!! We had a very sweet lady gift us a 2003 Honda at Christmas 2019. I bought my husband a one way plane ticket to Minneapolis, he then drove the little SUV back home to Arizona. It currently has 201,000 miles. Took it for an oil change and check up, the mechanic 👨🏼🔧 said; “wow, you’re really lucky, there’s not a thing wrong with this car” God bless her always for what she did.
Whats wrong with that? A used car is not all that much money compared to what he gave his dad. Signing a finance deal on a car for someone else is insane. It's nice to do things for people if you think it can help them in the long run.
When I reported abuse my family used family courts to discredit me and keep control of me and keep me from being able to move away and I had similar experience and my family are Jesuit Masons that the Mormon and People of Praise cult is based on.
@@TheStrategyStudio268 I still live with them, but members of my family were not aware of what other people in secret societies did to me and basically act like it did not happen and have acted like I am mentally unstable and doctors and psychologists were involved in the abuse and covering it up since I was very young.
You are an INSPIRATION!!!!! I cut off my "father" YEARS AGO. Than my "mother" stopped talking to me. My sister didnt understand & thought I was wrong. Fast forward my "father" died, I reached out to my "mother"... HUGE MISTAKE!!!! Fast forward, a year later my sister calls me crying. She apologized for how she treated me. She had to cut our "mother" out. We are BOTH soooo much mentally better off! I PROMISE things WILL GET BETTER!!!!!
This is abuse, they are abusing you. This is so wrong. I just can't even imagine this. They are criminals. If they did this to a stranger they would be locked up. How dare anyone say you're a bad son. They're criminals too.
I totally agree with this. They are pathological narcissists. They will forever truly believe that they are victims. Saying that they were perpetrated against. Amazing.
@@kari7403 Did you see the whole video? If a stranger did to you what they did to their son you would call the cops. Anyone would. Because it's a crime to steal, even if it is family.
@@amywarner7730 i would?! Damn. You know.me better than I know myself. Ill have to check in with you in the morning, so I know for sure what I actually will be eating for breakfast.
Your parents lost the right to you when they stole your credit cards, stuck you with extra fees for no good reason, then asked you to pay for everything in their lives for month after month after month. I hope their house is not in your name. Grandpa was mad when you changed the game because he had been relieved that you were taking care of his son. You’ve been the only adult in your family since you were very young. I like that you are telling your story. It is helpful to hear other people’s stories. 🌸
You are correct.....Grandpa loved that his grandson was taking care of his deadbeat son!!!! Well Grandpa it’s your turn now..... you deal with your son!!!
Josh, you are a handsome, intelligent, honest, & upstanding young man. Never apologize for having integrity, it's a quality that's very lacking now days! The "nice guy" thing is a slippery slope, you can still be a nice guy without being a doormat & pushover, it's a fine line for sure! Don't give up on love, there's someone out there for you. I wish you all the best in the future!
I like Dave Ramsey’s saying, “your family are travel agents for guilt trips!” It’s okay to let toxic people go....it will leave room for good people to come in. People really don’t want help. They would help themselves if they did.
My husband showed me your videos because it reminded him so much of my own family dynamic. I subbed to your channel and support you 100% Be healthy and happy my dude.
My personal observation is that sometimes when you’re born into a dysfunctional family, either you become like them or you may become a people pleaser and people recognize that and you become a magnet for users and abusers.
Hello, people pleaser here, yes I am a magnet! I have to fix the worlds peoples problems, to the point, I no longer leave my room, PTSD, agoraphobic, panic disorder, and extreme anxiety disorder, fun life. I have no trust of anyone outside my house. From this lived experience, this man is so correct in what he is doing. Get out young before you are so broken like me.
Sadly, your family only gave conditional “love”. Once you stopped letting them take, they stopped giving “love”. That is NOT love at all. You deserve better!
Dex4Sure Hyper religious, more like twisted and religious. Religion is a beautiful thing, but it can be perverted by ignorant and sinful people. Jesus is love, merciful and graceful. Bless you all!!
@@jjayguy23 The way I define religion as opposed to spirituality, I consider religion of any kind to be "less than ideal" *at best,* not even to mention the times it has led to atrocities. I think that spirituality is what we should be striving for. The way I define religion is closely tied to dogma, whereas the way I define spirituality isn't held back by any convention. To me, spirituality is a longing to connect with that which we truly are as opposed to that which we superficially appear to be, and when people connect with that which they truly are, problems between people and groups of people solve themselves. In my mind, spirituality is all about love and interconnectedness (not necessarily one-ness because even though I recognize we're all connected, we're *also* all unique and that aspect is vitally important), whereas religion is about belief fundamentally. I put direct experience way above belief systems of any kind, and I don't care who the authority figure is who might say otherwise.
Love is conditional... it's conditional on the idea that everyone involved is not being a toxic and useless asshole. You're supposed to be helping each other and trying to be better, that's why it's conditional. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with having a bad moment here and there, and it's fine to want people who love you to help you. But what isn't okay is gaslighting, toxic behaviour where you expect people to help you unconditionally.
@Dex4Sure my family is like this and they absolutely hate anything religious. In fact I found faith and they used it as a tsctic to manipulate me more. So hardly a tool usually used by religious people. Non-religious people are just as big of assholes as anyone else. 🙁
Josh you showing the reality of what this looks like is HELPING A TON OF MEN who get guilted into situations like this and end up feeling obligated and struggling for the rest of their lives. IM PROUD OF YOU AND THANK YOU
That religious patriarchal bullshit is so harmful to both men and women. Taking *everyone's* agency away, women are kept as objects and men have to be unfeeling men of steel that also act as ATMs. It doesn't actually help anyone
@@chloedsmith Thank you for acknowledging that it hurts more than women alone. It absolutely does hurt women, *and* it absolutely does hurt men. I wish more people could recognize that.
@@chloedsmith that's not really what it's about. The scripture says men are the head meaning, he is suppose to have a solid spiritual relationship with our creator and lead his family into the same.
I love that, I’m going to use it, I didn’t choose my family, I chose my future! Thank you for summarizing how I feel in a perfect package! Stay blessed. 💜🙏💜
It's actually healthy for you to talk about this. You're helping others. You haven't named names. This will force them to look at themselves. They need to grow up. The devil loves secrets! Your survival is amazing! You're the adult! I respect you! 😍
Thank you for being someone who a big following trying to normalise speaking about how you feel. Social media has a stigma about everything being fine and wonderful 24/7 It really is time to start trying to break that barrier down and show people that it isnt good 24/7 and it is OKAY to talk about your feelings with people. Great video. I hope everything keeps looking up for you.
Abso-fucking-lutely. It is SO important for you to talk about how you feel. It is VERY important to make sure that you are living your life for YOU! Life's too short to stand by and let people take advantage of you.
I too was raised by a Narcissist mother. She was manipulative to me and my dad. Ruined a relationship between my dad and me. Luckily we rebonded as adults. Best wishes. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Thanks for being brave enough to expose them!
Nah, shit like this happens in clumps. You realize a romantic relationship is toxic, and once you realize the nature of toxicity you can see it where you couldnt before, like in family
I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to you. If you need a new Grandmother, even a Grandmother from Australia, I'm in. I hope you can start rebuilding your life Josh, I believe karma exists and you have a lot of good karma coming your way, all the best from Australia sweetheart xx
I think there is a nice quote that sums up your life situations (and incidentally, mine as well): *“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”* Entitled & delusional people are everywhere. They could be your parents, your friends, your SO. You just need to be able to take a step back and see them for what they are when sh*t hits the fan- obstacles to happiness that need to be removed. Drastic mentality, I know; but it's gonna save years of your life if you're a trully empathetic person that has been dealt a rough hand of people around you.
@@bexrayspex tldr: it's been first claimed freud, gibson, or later even winterburn- but there is no evidence in freud's writing of this quote, gibson said he retweeted it from winterburn, who claimed he said it first, but his tweet is preceeded by 16 months by a woman named Debbie Hope, owner of the Twitter handle @debihope. so to tell you the truth... who really knows? =)
“We” love you is NOT coming from your cousin! If he would have said “I” love you and you feel it coming from the heart. You are amazing! Glad you are living life now being your authentic self. What you are sharing is not only healing for you but for others.... lots of others!
@@JoshuaFluke1 - no drama magnet, you just were born into a crazy family, for generations it looks like. (I've also watched your videos about the cult you grew up in. Now, that is plain insanity.These people need counceling way more than you ever will- and you do need it, but it's a good thing in your case, it won't be wasted, it would help you grow even more than you already did by yourself. You do need validation, this would liberate you from any guilt so much) You broke the circle, of lies, of insanity. Good for you, and good for many people that you're sharing your experience out loud. (And again: you're not naming any name, you're not doing any harm, except to their ego. But that's their problem not yours. "You don't want to be shamed, don't do shameful things". Few wiser words were ever spoken.
This could have been my father. Man used to ask me for my paycheck when I was a waitress at Dennys when I was 16. "To help the family.". He stopped working when I was 8. Fully able bodied - mooched off my mother till she became ill and they divorced. When I turned 17 - I left - and didn't speak or see him again in 17 years. I was 34. Found out he lived in cars for at least half of the 17 years I was gone. The other half, he couch surfed and lived in the basement of friends and family. I didn't shed a tear - I just felt I dodged a bullet. Another "God is going to judge you for this" asshole. My brother was also the "rent payer" - until he ditched him too. Started speaking to my father at age 34. The second time I met at at age 34 - he asked me to buy him a house. I straight up said, "NO". To his face. In the last 7 years, he has never asked me for anything else ever again. He still speaks to me. And I don't search for him. Lives in elderly housing. And he has never entered my home, because I know what can of worms that would open. He speaks to me, fine. He doesn't speak to me, good. The time for owing each other anything is over. I went through a childhood of poverty because of him. I say that makes us even. EDIT: Be very, very, very careful of other family members, pulling you in "with good cheer". I got pulled into meeting my father at age 34 by my aunt and cousins, when I wasnt interested. About a year later I figured out why. Because my father had been living with them, and they were looking for someone to pawn him off on. It's NOT genuine. They either don't want to be tapped into being the next "cash cow" - or they have been the cash cows for a long time - and they have decided that it is now YOUR TURN. I've cut off my extended family too - because of it
It breaks my heart for you. My eyes tear up listening to your story. Unless people are in your situation, they don't know how painful it is; even when it's the right thing to do. If I could give you a hug I would. You're a good guy!
It's hard to believe you turned out to be such a hard working, intelligent, good hearted, honest person with such loser parents. How did that happen? I'm so sorry for you....life is difficult at times...you definitely did the right thing. Please keep going, and please feel good about yourself.
Amazing that he is this good of a person for sure . I would trust this guy 100 percent . I ended up split from my family as well and worried how I would react when my father passed. Sadly it did not affect me much .
Because when u go through stuff like he did, something breaks in u, it does make u think at the end what can u do as a Person, to not be such a fuck up as your parents, and how to better yourself for other People around u. Its a strugle from day to day because u don't ever forget this family drama and the only thing u can do is to be good to other People and yourself. At least thats how i combat my bad experiences...
Some raised by a “troubled” parent grow up to mimic the parent’s behavior. Others grow up having recognized & suffered from the toxicity & are determined to take a different path. You sound like the latter. Hang tough. You did what needed to be done...for both of you.
As a mom of two kids about your age, this breaks my heart. You are doing the right thing, Josh. And by talking about it, you may be giving other people in the same situation the courage to walk away. I know it's not easy, but you can't change them, and being a doormat is unacceptable. Good for you. Stay strong! Wish I could give you a hug from here, but you deserve better, and I know you'll find better. And someday, if you have kids of your own, you'll be a great dad because you'll be conscious of what happened to you and determined to give your children a better life.
I'm honestly so happy that I came across these videos cause I thought I was the only one with no family & a similar story, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! I don't feel so alone anymore.....
Josh: "I'm not saying that they're criminals." Josh's sister: "Please cash this blank check that doesn't belong to me." Josh's dad: "Let me pay this electric bill with this credit card that isn't mine." Also Josh's sister: "I'm just gonna crash my brother's car and flee the scene."
@@JoshuaFluke1 Why aren't they on Social Security Insurance(SSI) they BOTH are of age to get it that's like a minimum of like 1.5k combined at the LOWEST amount. Like if they can ask YOU now's the time to get what's their's from the government they worked in the past and put money INTO SSI and even if it wasn't alot EVERY America GETS SSI if you got a Social Security Number. You get SSI at 65-67 they are BOTH in there mid 70s and IF there is a REAL mental or physical REASON they CAN NOT WORK get it diagnosed through a disability doctor and they can get SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY INSURANCE/INCOME TOO. So two revenue streams up to four depending on each parent.
I’d rather watch a TH-camr who shows not just the good but the bad, can’t deal or follow posers, it takes a lot of courage to say this stuff. keep up the work!
On keeping this situation private, I feel like what's going on with your family does actually tie directly into your other content. It's like a unified theme of "don't let people take advantage of you and maintain boundaries". It doesn't matter if it's a corporation, or a romantic relationship or your family. Edit: So... I mean, it's not really different from the other stuff on your channel at it's core, so why keep it private?
The ability to draw similarities between situations is a widely undervalued skill. For example, simplifying something that is very complex. I actually did this the other day with my GF. We were talking about quantum tunneling which she isn't remotely familiar with. The analogy I used was a bunch of kids standing in a single file line, as the lines get closer together, children are bound to hop from line to line by mistake. She understood instantly. This skill is missing in a lot of our teachers and it's a shame.
I keep my private life private... because I have a good private life. I love my family and friends, and we respect and care about each other. If I had toxic relationships I would not hesitate to discuss it openly. In fact, I have. I have had toxic relationships which I have been very open to discuss.
Isn’t talking about things cathartic? Your channel, talk about what ever the hell you want! People watching can make their own decision to not watch if they don’t agree. These few videos especially have come at the very same time for me. I have been contemplating the same thing for very very similar reasons. I’m just a subscriber who enjoys your content. Thanks for being real!
People are so needy, if the content doesn't align with their tastes or views they could choose not to watch it but instead bitch and whine like a bunch of preschoolers fighting over the toybox.
It's why people make such a big deal of stuff like "coming out of the closet", you've finally realized something, come to accept it and talking about it helps reinforce your choice to move forward taking the weight off your shoulders. Not that he's gay lol.
People who steal from their children and children who steal from their parents shouldn't lecture others about Christian behavior. "Thou shall not steal" applies to them too.
In my family I'm not allowed to talk about anything in the past which means no closure, I've been disowned for 7years now. It gets easier but never feels right but you'll get through...
I'm going through a similar situation with the majority of my family. While I've come to terms with the fact that cutting them from my life is something that has needed to be done for some time. Up until recently it wasn't something I was able to do. I really appreciate your willingness to share your journey and to be so open about it. It makes me feel a lot less lonely about my own path. Thank you.
Hi Josh, I fell into depression when I lost my job (1.5 years ago) I buried myself, ignored mail, cutoff my friends Luckily my family (ma, pa, grandma, uncle) broke through to me. I didn't get homeless thanks to them and now I am working again. Lucky for me I've cried watching this but you did the right thing You have removed yourself from a bad situation and you broke the circle. I envy your strength and can only say: You are a good man. All the best to you Stay safe
I had to do the same thing. I had to cut off my entire family. I had to get away from a toxic situation. And the good news is, that God has really blessed me and made up for anything that I may have missed out on. Don’t be in love with the idea of the perfect family. Don’t let that blind you to reality of a toxic reality. God bless you Josh for putting this out there for everybody, you’re going to help a lot of people. You are not in this alone, we are with you, and we support you! It’s really hard in the beginning. But, then you’ll start to realize that you suddenly are a lot happier day in and day out. Do it. I hate to see you suffer!! They don’t deserve you, and you deserve better!!
Exposing all of this online is a very narcissistic thing to do, if you ask me. Saying things like "price of generosity, I guess" gives such a woe is me vibe. Maybe the apple didn't fall that far from the tree? Even if he is in the right on this doesn't justify going down this road so publicly but remember: we only got his side of the fight, no the complete picture.
This is exactly the type of content that is worth watching, youtube has always been full of fakers especially in the "software engineer youtuber" community. Thanks for getting into the gritty details about what life is like, I feel like so many people can learn from your experiences.
"It was all about information control" yep, definitely religious, and not the good kind. All about the image, not the substance. It would break their mental, which is already broken.
When I heard him talk about information control, I kind of cried a bit because I felt that a lot of times in my life from other people thinking they were victimized when they were too scared to take action by bringing it up to other people.
this reminds me of “you didn’t came from your parents, you came through them” you are not them and you are not indebted to them. Now I want to you live your life, your dream and be happy.
Being raised by that many narcissist's.. I feel for you. I was raised by a mother like that. It affects your relationships, bc you usually choose someone like you parents bc you didn't get what you needed from them and being conditioned to abuse you are vulnerable to predators " other narcissist"
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” -C.S. Lewis. This has all been to make you stronger. Life is a game, and despite appearances to the contrary, you are absolutely winning it. You are a very special and beloved soul. Don’t worry whatsoever about what others say. Angels are guiding you and will protect you.
I would be proud to have you as my son, it's refreshing to see you moving on, essentially you have had to parent yourself. I love that you are showing your rage now, totally entitled! Well done!
Sounds like my dysfunctional family. My mom is narcissistic and has kicked me out. I’m so glad God answered my prayers and now I have a new place I will move to at the end of Jan 2021.
"earnestly seek the Lord" - Josh's grandmother Proverbs 21:25 "the desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor" Proverbs 10:5 "he who gathers in the summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son" Proverbs 14:23 "all hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty" Psalm 128:2 "you shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands, you shall be blessed and it shall be well with you" Is this not earnest enough?
A good reminder that it's not technically religion that makes them narcissists, it's that they're narcissists in the first place and use the religion as cover to be aholes. Case in point, we're seeing in society what happens when people no longer have religion, they just use some other respected cover in order to continue being aholes.
Religious sects always like to cherry pick phrases that are ambiguous enough that they can be distorted in all sorts of ways to suit their agenda. Just totally ignore their blabbing. It's useless to give them any attention.
EXACTLY! You're doing it my man! This random internet stranger is so fucking proud of you. I know how hard this kinda shit is. Good luck going forward!
You have been wronged, Josh, and it's not your fault. To be brutally honest with you, the only way to proactively move forward from here is to lose the victim mentality altogether. Again, it's not your fault and you have indeed been a victim - but you must remember that victimhood need not define you from this point forward. It's good to get it out and I'm not trying to criticize you for that - I hope you understand. Burn the bridge? Check (good work). Emotional detachment? Check. Put an end to being victimized? Check. Only then will you find your true, unabated self again. Good luck.
And remember it's not victimhood-mentality if you were actually victimized. Which you were, by several gaslighters, and you arent alone. I've been prone to love people like this as well. Peace be with you.
I needed to see this comment so bad. I'm going through alot like Josh, my family isn't worth a fuck when it comes to me. I've been gaslighted and blamed and exposed to such volatility and manipulation that I feel like I'm a problem everywhere I am and to everyone. and it's my fault. I've been used and lied to until I had nothing left to give and when I finally reached back for love and help, I got told no. and like him, I am way too nice. but I've since become cold and in lack of better words, I'm an absolute asshole now, when the need arise. and I dont care who gets offended and hurt. fuck that. no one ever cares how much I hurt.
His parents’ behavior goes waaaay beyond disrespect. They don’t even respect themselves! Narcissism is a good descriptor of their behavior, and that never changes. You just have to walk away.
It's called Integrity. Doesn't sound like they have any. It's hard facing up to the bullies. Don't support your damn moocher family. It's time to rep the car.
Hah integrity! Hard to practice and no one thanks you for it. Kind of poetic actually. I try my best personally but you can’t make others cash that check.
This is the reason that I follow you and like your stand. It encourages me to share my broken family story if I have own channel. Your real life really touches me. Thank you!
I had to cut off all contact with my sister after our mother died. My sister was always full of drama the entire time we were growing up, my mother would always say “you know how she is”. Once our mother was gone and I no longer felt I had to keep everyone happy, I finally had to pull the plug on my sister. It’s been over 10 years, my life is calm, no drama, and it feels wonderful. I’m now 66, so all of this happened when I was 56.....so his was not done as a young person acting out of emotion. There are toxic people all around us, even in your own family. I personally think you did the right thing for yourself. We have to avoid toxic people like the plague, we can’t allow others to steal our joy. The fact that your grandparents, and your parents know what to say to make you feel guilty, so typical of toxic people. I’m sorry, but healthy adults should take full responsibility for their own lives. From what you previously stated, your father ran up thousands of dollars of credit card bills in your name! There is absolutely no reason for your father to intentionally destroy your credit. People that do this feel like they are owed something, they have no guilt, and they try to guilt you for what they have done. In my opinion, you have made the right choice for yourself. There are those that will always take advantage of your good heart, but there does come a time when enough is enough. Some people will say you’re selfish, ya know sometimes you have to get selfish in order to live your life. Over time it will get easier, at least you finally stopped the cycle of abuse of your money, and most importantly your mental well being. Stay strong, live your life as you see fit. Life is like a buffet, unfortunately many people just hang out at the table and starve to death.
My interpretation is that you were the "normal", pudgy kid growing up. Then, as you aged, everything around you turned to poop for no reason. First the wife. Then the gf. Now the family. Life is suffering. Stay strong dude.
Let's be real he is a example of what not to be as a man. Every advantage constantly fails at life. His girl and friends and family all left him for a reason
Janna Mini the original phrase is actually that the blood of a covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. So it’s saying friends are more important than family
@@Gavolak no they would maybe show up and the dad would say my son gave me this car and now he wants it back cuz we had a fight, and the cop would then say okay have a nice day, and tell the kid he’s gotta go to civil court that he’s not the court........ just like if you let someone sleep in your house and then ask them to leave, they can actually then refuse to leave, and you have to go through the entire eviction process through the courts because you “willingly let them stay with you”
Your family's wierd relationship with "privacy" hits too close to home. My father always kept everything about him a secret. Despite growing up with him, he felt like a stranger. Many years later, my mother revealed to me that, financially, my father has always had money problem because he would always spent more than he could afford, he would pressure people to lend him money in order to buy stocks, only for the stocks to lose all their value, etc. Emotionally, my father was always a manipulator who would shame us for refusing to do things "for the family", and he would blatantly lie to us in order to hide as many inconvenient truths as he could. He wanted to hide as much about himself as he could as he was ashamed of his actions, yet he had no interest in trying to improve from his past mistakes. My mother burned bridges with him long ago. My father tried to force me and my sisters to "pick a side" between him and my mother. We told him we wouldn't. I haven't fully burned bridges with my father yet, but whenever I have to interact with him, I feel like I could snap at any time. Even if our situations are not comparable, your videos help me know that I am not the only one who has this kind of relationship with a parent.
Hosono , I can totally relate. My father was always very secretive about his background. Even my mom knew very little about him. One thing I figured out was that he is very insecure. My father NEVER said, I love you, to me or my brother. I once asked my mom if he was really my father. She was horrified that I could even think that but that was how I felt. When my mom died, I had enough. I have not spoken to him in more than 10 years and I am very happy with that. The only thing I wonder about is what in hell happened in his life that made him the way he is. I don’t hate him. I just feel sorry for him.
I didn't even realize that my dad was an alcoholic until my Junior year of high school. He did an excellent job of hiding it, and I mean truly impressive. I feel like my situation might be a bit unique in that my dad was very loving, understanding, etc. He became less and less involved in my life as I got into middle school and above, which at the time I figured was just due to me spending more time with friends, but in hindsight that doesn't quite account for all of it. Anyways, I consider myself fortunate in that even though my dad had a decent deal of secrecy in his life due to alcohol, he was very transparent about just about anything else. It's also interesting to me that my entire childhood growing up until my Junior year of high school, I thought my parents were destined for each other in that they seemed to be thoroughly happy together, etc. Turns out, they were *not at all* happy with each other. So I guess you could add that to the secrecy in a way, but in hindsight, it feels like less of a secret knowing that their intentions were to protect us essentially (probably would have been better off with full transparency but I still consider intentions alone incredibly important).
Josh I have two sisters that haven't talked to me in about 33 years.i don't even know why.i choose to love every one,if they don't it's their loss I know it hurts but it's out of my control.
Thanks so much for sharing bro. It makes me feel better about being in a similar situation and that I'm not alone. It also helps to see how someone else handles it. Being able to laugh at your videos and say to myself "yep thats exactly how it is". Is really helpful. I hope you get tons of success in whatever you do. Never trust them again. NEVER trust them again.
I've followed along silently, but now that you are at the end of this, I want you to know what a profound influence this has had on me for my own, yet different, struggle. For a while now I have had a very strong internal critic of myself. Thinking to myself, "no matter how much you improve yourself, there is no one who will truly love you and or won't leave you". Getting dragged through multiple failed relationships can make you think that way. But I have hope. My family has acted the opposite of yours, unflinchingly and unconditionally supporting me with words of affirmation. "I love you" and "I'm so proud of you son" and "One day you will find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved". I heard them say all this, but I didn't "believe" them. My internal critic wouldn't allow it... But now, with a detailed point of reference that you have provided, I've reflected on that past and realized that no, I was wrong. I was depressed. I was hearing them, but I want listening. This realization has brought back a ray of joy I had forgotten about. For this, I thank you. I know that this might not make your situation any better, or that possibly you interpret this as me boasting about having a loving family. That's not my objective. I want you to know that by sharing your pain and life with us all you have greatly improved the at least one person's life. Your pursuit of happiness though all of your unbelievably unfortunate circumstances is inspiring for people like me. Once again, thanks.
It makes you reflect on your past issues, shit you have faced in your life family drama that caused a great divide still to this day half of my family have not had anything to do with me. all because of my father and I having a disagreement and me moving away to live with mum. situations might be different but watching this young bloke facing the first steps in dealing with a complete break from his family was something i dealt with back when I was 14 half of my family disowned me and wanted nothing to do with me. the other half supported me and kept me going. i watch this fella in the hopes that it will all sort itself out one day and they will all apologise to him for what they have done and appreciate the amount of time and effort and money he spent giving back to his family when they needed him. eventually my father and I did talk to one another again and luckily it was only 2 years that we had wiped each other off for. however because my grandfather was involved in it everyone else on that side just all wiped me off as well over something that had nothing to do with them. I am glad at the end of all the drama that my dad and I got back in touch with one another. if anything Josh, I hope your dad recovers gets back on his own two feet and gets back to financially supporting himself or some government help but if the rest of them want to disown you whatever. I hope your dad makes it up to you someday I can tell in all your videos you were close with your dad and I hope that bond comes back better later on once hes sorted himself out. depression sucks mate, I'm still dealing with it in my life. once the gyms open back up here I'll have a distraction a new goal to push myself towards rather than feeling down or pathetic. getting my license this year hopefully will be a big boost to my motivation as well. bit like how josh is going for his pilots license. im still going for a car license haha.
Dear Josh something like this happened to a friend, so now I’ve seen it for real. Your story is true. We understand. Protect yourself. Cut them off and don’t look back.
Hey, work for a bailiff here, great idea just taking the car. I've seen situations like this and 70% of people feel entitled and think it's "their" car and will hide it and/or damage it.
My mom, sister and myself have NEVER owned a car: we walked, took the bus, took the train, or used Uber/Lyft to get to work. Your dad will be fine. If we can get to work without a car than he can too.
Altair he just said in the video his dad lives next to the trainstation. I thibk the biggest reason americans are dependant on their cars, simply is laziness.
Altair I’ve lived in the area Josh does, and even took a week-long trip down there back last September to take my daughter to visit her grandpa. Took light rail out of the airport. We went as far northeast as the zoo, as far south as Draper, and around the West Valley areas all on public transportation. It’s 100% viable in the Salt Lake valley, though you sometimes have to walk or ride a bike a mile or two after a stop. I used to live there back in the 00s, and even then when there was only one light rail line, public transportation was a feasible option to help you get to work.
I blocked my dad after confronting him on some stuff, he rufused to acknowledge or change, so I did it. I cut him off for a year. It was worth it and a year later our relationship is better. You know your own circumstance much better than anyone else. Hopefully by having their actions brought into the light they will repent and return to right living... you are continually in my prayers, God bless.
@MannerHamster I've cut off my dad about 3 years ago and its been the best decision I've made he's not a terrible person but he's lost. I still talk to him time to time but it's more like talking with an old friend.
did the same thing for 2 years with mine when I was 14. it works alright they realise what they lose when they cant find you or contact you. but its never the same after coming back in contact its like a complete desynchronisation so now that I am much older I feel like more of a friend rather than son at times. when I stay with him for a while some of the old dad comes back. but other times its different. there is pros and cons to wiping family members off. for example my grandparents who disowned me its never been the same after they tried to mend bridges. they never maintained contact sent cards nothing so everything quickly reverted back to how it was and i felt no reason to make an effort to restore the bridge because what had happened at the time was too damaging. you no longer see much of the good things there is only a few good memories. and they are extremely few and far between. after so many years she never asks about her grandson, never wants to know how I am doing in my life and i only know this because my dad is the one that talks to her. if i call her ever she would rather be doing something else then talking to me. it was the same at a family funeral.
Young man, I'm late to this party and this is my first time seeing you. I will watch your previous videos to catch up, but I think you should know that the more you talk about things that poison you the more you release the venom. GIVE IT AWAY! If you don't talk about it it will poison you. I wish you a wonderful life. ❤❤❤❤❤
I’m going through this right now... it’s very painful. I’m getting ready to move out. I’m just done with the abuse. Keep your head up man. 💜💜💜 I appreciate you sharing this with us. I want you to talk about this. You’re a grown ass dude, and you can do whatever you want. You can share your truth, and speak your mind. You have given me strength to do this myself. To me, you’re an inspiration. I look up to you. And I’m also super proud of you.
Day 3 is the hardest. It gets easier from here. If you give it a couple of months you will be much less attached to this problem and will be able to see it from our perspective. To us, this is crazy and we would never sign up for that kind of mistreatment. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully this helps others to also make this change.
The first 6 months of no contact/estrangement is mostly grieving for the loss...the first 3 months or so are the most guilt ridden and traumatic, in the abyss....months 4-5 are mostly reconciling with oneself the greatest sacrifice...by months 6-7 are mostly feeling more oneself, acceptance and a ability to laugh about it (laughing about the craziness/crazy making is a sign one is definitely healing)....at least from my experience...July 2019 I went no contact, had to change my phone number and block on social media at one point.
Turning the page on toxic family is very difficult. I feel for what you've been through. I hope your viewers can take heed if they're in similar situations. IT IS NOT WRONG to distance yourself from TOXIC people.
Good for you brother. Good for you.
WOW What a small world! My favorite aviation youtuber and my favorite coder interacting with each other!!! It's funny, I didn't put it together until just now that y'all are both from Utah. Are you friends IRL? I'm totally geeking out. Anyhow - great words of wisdom Cory as usual. Great vids and as always great wisdom. Hang in there Joshua!
It’s unfortunate that you realize that kind of late in life
Trying to get this pilot license to be his wingman lol
I'm actually going through this right now. My mom came over today (randomly) to tell me she's going to pray for me. I'm not religious at all. She doesn't even see how pretentious that is.
@@IsaacDozier1 You don't need to be religious to pray to The Most High and he knows your plight Lukewarm Christians use it as a weapon to guilt people into putting up with their crap making it hard for people who need to hear from him the most. But know they will get their due soon. Real Christians don't judge and don't bother judging people they will offer support and let you find your own way. Hopefully all of you going through trying times will eventually find your way to happiness.
People calling you a bad son are a joke, he was a bad father first, why does he get a pass?
It's one thing to be useless or incompetent but his dad needs situational awareness. If you're useless stop acting like you're the boss. If he was depending on his son, he should have made it as easy for Josh as possible; not cause him more trouble.
@@NoirVelours They probably behave the same like his family members or some garbage, lmfao.
The only people saying he is a bad son, are the one's that are like the vultures..
@@Natalie-gb8tt A number of things. I'm not super familiar with Josh and his family history, since I've only watched a few of his videos, but for one, his dad appears to be a crappy dad, based off of what he supposedly did in this video. Plus there are a couple other videos that Josh has, that covers his years of being born and raised in a cult. (And I'm not meaning the Mormon religion, since they are in Utah, now. Even though its not really a cult, but a lot of people ca it one.) But if his dad has really done half of what Josh said he has done... Man, that's one crappy dad. Maybe he was a better dad when Josh was little. He could have been an attentive and loving dad. But based off of the videos and what Josh has said in them the past few years, it sounds as if his dad is a horribly manipulative, self centered jerk, who guilt trips Josh into giving him whatever he wants or needs.
I dunno. Some people may disagree. But based off this video, alone, his dad sounds like he wasn't the best person, let alone parent. But thats just my take on it, and I'll respect anyone else's opinion on it, even if it's the opposite of my own. There are always at least 2 sides to a story, and some people may empathize with the dad to some degree.
@@kari7403 Natalia is a weird old Josh family memb
Sounds like josh became a man with boundaries.
AS HE SHOULD
When I hear Josh speaking, I realize he is not aware of who his Dad is and that the truth about the guy and what he does is completely UNKNOWN. I would recommend about 3 years of an hour daily on youtube channels that deal with narcissism. There are too many, but one that speaks about these kinds of people is called “The Little Shaman”.
For some reason it seems to take forever to understand and get those boundaries. It’s because of the attachment trauma. Josh actually has a similar problem to his dad (except the dad can’t get well). This explains Josh’s situation perfectly:
th-cam.com/video/Mmac6AV8bjg/w-d-xo.html
setting boundaries is something that comes with growth for sure. Its something i recently realized myself.
Setting boundries in a narcissistic environment is rough especially when it is family. Took me til late thirties to start reall5 putting foot down
@@Natalie-gb8tt thats called enabling
I've never agreed more with a statement after hearing you say "If you don't wanna be ashamed don't do shameful shit"
Yes exactly very powerful words there
There's an old Chinese proverb that states, "If you wish no one to find out, don't do it." I say this to people who bitch to me about suffering consequences for their own mistakes.
I’ve had to say this many times in my life too. It’s not easy
I's been my motto since elementary school hence why noone can blackmail me with anything.
Generational strongholds, you're breaking the cycle.
This is a real thing that is very rarely recognised.
And it is extremely difficult. Distance through time helps to make the break stronger.
You’re breaking the dysfunctional cycle passed down through your family. Your kids will have a better life because of it, God bless you man. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all this, I couldn’t imagine.
That's it right there
He doesnt want kids lmao
@@melonie_peppers He did talk about possibly adopting so if that ever happens the they will be very lucky.
@@Tom-hc1ql Same here! When it comes to the huge life choices, “never say never!”.
True shit bro it will all be worth it in the end. Shitty in the meantime tho lol
Just by talking about things that are bothering you, is therapeutic. It is good to unburden, by talking, gives one a relief. And stop blaming yourself for your family’s problems.
Not just relief, but also perspective. This is one reason why a therapist is a good idea. It doesn't mean you are crazy or have mental issues. It just gives you an outside perspective.
The more you talk about it the less power it has over you
A therapist would 100% agree with what he is doing, in fact, advise him to keep with it.
I remember my counselor showing me a quote that went something like..."You tell your story and you tell it loud. If someone is angry about how they are portrayed then they should have behaved better. " Love, big hugs, and prayers flying to you.
I love that quote…I’m stealing and using it, thanks
@@godthesonhasilluminatedme you are so welcome. I'm happy it spoke to you like it did to me. Hugs.
Sounds like a woke quote
I want to tell my story. Parents both narcissistic, drama, trauma, cutting them off completely 6 years ago. We're NOT wrong. No guilt. I'm telling everyone.
Josh - I am a mom of three sons and am probably old enough to be your mom. I want you to know that you matter. Your mental health matters. Your ability to trust matters. No one has the right to strip you of your voice, your choices, your mental well being. Family comes in all shapes and for some, a “chosen family” is the only family who matters. I wanted you to know, speaking as a mother, that I am proud of you. My children are not extensions of me. They owe me nothing. That’s not how it works. Stay strong. Please know that there are parents out here who support you and would gladly stand beside you if you needed it.
Thank you for supporting Josh
Hi @Stephanie
Good perspective
♥️♥️♥️
You sound like the mother everyone needs. You’re a very kind lady for giving Josh support at this difficult time for him. I wish you and your sons well!
I am so proud of you for taking your car back!! He can buy a 20 yr old reliable Honda for $1000 to get to work.
Which is what he should have done for his dad in the first place, get a cheap car give it to him, if he fucks up that's on him.
I wish cars were that cheap here in Mexico, it would be really good for me because my college is kind of far from my house 😕
@Kelly Larsen...You’re a 100% correct!!! We had a very sweet lady gift us a 2003 Honda at Christmas 2019. I bought my husband a one way plane ticket to Minneapolis, he then drove the little SUV back home to Arizona. It currently has 201,000 miles. Took it for an oil change and check up, the mechanic 👨🏼🔧 said; “wow, you’re really lucky, there’s not a thing wrong with this car” God bless her always for what she did.
@@edwardecl he "should have" bought his dad a car? Wow.
Whats wrong with that? A used car is not all that much money compared to what he gave his dad. Signing a finance deal on a car for someone else is insane.
It's nice to do things for people if you think it can help them in the long run.
You are the whistleblower in your family. The truth hurts and people find that uncomfortable.
When I reported abuse my family used family courts to discredit me and keep control of me and keep me from being able to move away and I had similar experience and my family are Jesuit Masons that the Mormon and People of Praise cult is based on.
@@KristinaUSA-x5n woah is this true
@@TheStrategyStudio268 Yes. And I blocked out half my life because of traumatic amnesia.
@@KristinaUSA-x5n that's so sad, I wish you the best and you are better off with them far away from your life
@@TheStrategyStudio268 I still live with them, but members of my family were not aware of what other people in secret societies did to me and basically act like it did not happen and have acted like I am mentally unstable and doctors and psychologists were involved in the abuse and covering it up since I was very young.
You are an INSPIRATION!!!!!
I cut off my "father" YEARS AGO. Than my "mother" stopped talking to me. My sister didnt understand & thought I was wrong.
Fast forward my "father" died, I reached out to my "mother"... HUGE MISTAKE!!!!
Fast forward, a year later my sister calls me crying. She apologized for how she treated me. She had to cut our "mother" out.
We are BOTH soooo much mentally better off!
I PROMISE things WILL GET BETTER!!!!!
im glad things turned out better for you
This is abuse, they are abusing you. This is so wrong. I just can't even imagine this. They are criminals. If they did this to a stranger they would be locked up. How dare anyone say you're a bad son. They're criminals too.
I don't think its illegal or criminal. But its immoral and flat out wrong and manipulative.
I totally agree with this. They are pathological narcissists. They will forever truly believe that they are victims. Saying that they were perpetrated against. Amazing.
@@kari7403 Did you see the whole video? If a stranger did to you what they did to their son you would call the cops. Anyone would. Because it's a crime to steal, even if it is family.
@@amywarner7730 i would?! Damn. You know.me better than I know myself. Ill have to check in with you in the morning, so I know for sure what I actually will be eating for breakfast.
@Billy Thorson yeah, I missed the credit card part, also. But all the rest, isn't criminal.
Your parents lost the right to you when they stole your credit cards, stuck you with extra fees for no good reason, then asked you to pay for everything in their lives for month after month after month. I hope their house is not in your name.
Grandpa was mad when you changed the game because he had been relieved that you were taking care of his son. You’ve been the only adult in your family since you were very young. I like that you are telling your story. It is helpful to hear other people’s stories. 🌸
You are correct.....Grandpa loved that his grandson was taking care of his deadbeat son!!!! Well Grandpa it’s your turn now..... you deal with your son!!!
The house is rented.
Josh, you are a handsome, intelligent, honest, & upstanding young man. Never apologize for having integrity, it's a quality that's very lacking now days! The "nice guy" thing is a slippery slope, you can still be a nice guy without being a doormat & pushover, it's a fine line for sure! Don't give up on love, there's someone out there for you. I wish you all the best in the future!
lillmissd, your words are golden!
I like Dave Ramsey’s saying, “your family are travel agents for guilt trips!”
It’s okay to let toxic people go....it will leave room for good people to come in.
People really don’t want help. They would help themselves if they did.
"Better than I deserve!"
It's funny you mention fave Ramsey because Josh can't stand him. Lol
My husband showed me your videos because it reminded him so much of my own family dynamic. I subbed to your channel and support you 100% Be healthy and happy my dude.
“Love” is the narcissists favorite weapon.
👊💋🖕 👈👀👉 🪂
Honesty it is to be normalised by narcissistic people
Can not agree more
The thing about being disowned is that they can no longer own you.
My personal observation is that sometimes when you’re born into a dysfunctional family, either you become like them or you may become a people pleaser and people recognize that and you become a magnet for users and abusers.
Hello, people pleaser here, yes I am a magnet! I have to fix the worlds peoples problems, to the point, I no longer leave my room, PTSD, agoraphobic, panic disorder, and extreme anxiety disorder, fun life. I have no trust of anyone outside my house. From this lived experience, this man is so correct in what he is doing. Get out young before you are so broken like me.
They are called narcissists. Their are different degrees of it and it is extreme mental abuse also the number1cause of suicide
@@tamitami7396 it's not to late. Your not broken they are
Aida Sararavia, you are 100% right.
100
You have every right to do this
His SELFISHNESS is outrageous.
Sadly, your family only gave conditional “love”. Once you stopped letting them take, they stopped giving “love”. That is NOT love at all. You deserve better!
Dex4Sure Hyper religious, more like twisted and religious. Religion is a beautiful thing, but it can be perverted by ignorant and sinful people. Jesus is love, merciful and graceful. Bless you all!!
That's the brand of the narcissist, and once you recognise it, the lot become transparent to you and you'll never be caught off guard again.
@@jjayguy23 The way I define religion as opposed to spirituality, I consider religion of any kind to be "less than ideal" *at best,* not even to mention the times it has led to atrocities.
I think that spirituality is what we should be striving for. The way I define religion is closely tied to dogma, whereas the way I define spirituality isn't held back by any convention. To me, spirituality is a longing to connect with that which we truly are as opposed to that which we superficially appear to be, and when people connect with that which they truly are, problems between people and groups of people solve themselves.
In my mind, spirituality is all about love and interconnectedness (not necessarily one-ness because even though I recognize we're all connected, we're *also* all unique and that aspect is vitally important), whereas religion is about belief fundamentally.
I put direct experience way above belief systems of any kind, and I don't care who the authority figure is who might say otherwise.
Love is conditional... it's conditional on the idea that everyone involved is not being a toxic and useless asshole. You're supposed to be helping each other and trying to be better, that's why it's conditional.
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with having a bad moment here and there, and it's fine to want people who love you to help you. But what isn't okay is gaslighting, toxic behaviour where you expect people to help you unconditionally.
@Dex4Sure my family is like this and they absolutely hate anything religious. In fact I found faith and they used it as a tsctic to manipulate me more. So hardly a tool usually used by religious people. Non-religious people are just as big of assholes as anyone else. 🙁
You are doing the right thing. I am the black sheep of a toxic family. Been estranged from them sense 2014. BEST DECISION EVER. DO IT. STAY STRONG.
No. He can get a bike and put a motor on it and he’ll get around. Cars are for people so have money
Josh you showing the reality of what this looks like is HELPING A TON OF MEN who get guilted into situations like this and end up feeling obligated and struggling for the rest of their lives. IM PROUD OF YOU AND THANK YOU
That religious patriarchal bullshit is so harmful to both men and women. Taking *everyone's* agency away, women are kept as objects and men have to be unfeeling men of steel that also act as ATMs. It doesn't actually help anyone
@@chloedsmith Thank you for acknowledging that it hurts more than women alone. It absolutely does hurt women, *and* it absolutely does hurt men. I wish more people could recognize that.
And women. Basically all who actually not only take responsibility. Well done.
@@chloedsmith
HM, doubt God supports this mess.
@@chloedsmith that's not really what it's about. The scripture says men are the head meaning, he is suppose to have a solid spiritual relationship with our creator and lead his family into the same.
Drama llama. You did good boy. You’re a man now.
So sad, but we don’t choose our parents. We choose our future.
I love that, I’m going to use it, I didn’t choose my family, I chose my future! Thank you for summarizing how I feel in a perfect package! Stay blessed. 💜🙏💜
Sometimes the family that we are born into is not our true family. Some of us have to make our own family with others in our life.
Absolutely!
The truth is Josh came through them but is not of them.
Damn dude your solid for doing this. I waited till I was in my 50's and sure wish Id been smart enough to do it at your age. Much respect.
It's actually healthy for you to talk about this. You're helping others. You haven't named names. This will force them to look at themselves. They need to grow up. The devil loves secrets! Your survival is amazing! You're the adult! I respect you! 😍
He wasn't gonna commute to a job with that car anyway. You did the right thing x 1000%!
Thank you for being someone who a big following trying to normalise speaking about how you feel. Social media has a stigma about everything being fine and wonderful 24/7 It really is time to start trying to break that barrier down and show people that it isnt good 24/7 and it is OKAY to talk about your feelings with people. Great video. I hope everything keeps looking up for you.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
It is SO important for you to talk about how you feel. It is VERY important to make sure that you are living your life for YOU! Life's too short to stand by and let people take advantage of you.
I air my dirty laundry out in my house...but sometimes ya gotta go to the laundromat for the big stuff
I too was raised by a Narcissist mother. She was manipulative to me and my dad. Ruined a relationship between my dad and me. Luckily we rebonded as adults. Best wishes. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Thanks for being brave enough to expose them!
this man is perpetually posting the saddest shit ive ever seen
It's life. Not this fake shit on the net. Good things happen but not very often.
@@Anarchizer So you're saying this is 'fake shit on the net'?
Nah, shit like this happens in clumps. You realize a romantic relationship is toxic, and once you realize the nature of toxicity you can see it where you couldnt before, like in family
@@Screeeeeeee So you're saying you cant read good?
@@RK-gv7rc bruh he didnt say that he said reread the comment so it gets clear
I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to you. If you need a new Grandmother, even a Grandmother from Australia, I'm in. I hope you can start rebuilding your life Josh, I believe karma exists and you have a lot of good karma coming your way, all the best from Australia sweetheart xx
This is the most wholesome thing
I think there is a nice quote that sums up your life situations (and incidentally, mine as well):
*“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”*
Entitled & delusional people are everywhere. They could be your parents, your friends, your SO. You just need to be able to take a step back and see them for what they are when sh*t hits the fan- obstacles to happiness that need to be removed. Drastic mentality, I know; but it's gonna save years of your life if you're a trully empathetic person that has been dealt a rough hand of people around you.
slovenija gang
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You win the comments section for sure 🏆 who’s quote is this?
@@bexrayspex tldr: it's been first claimed freud, gibson, or later even winterburn- but there is no evidence in freud's writing of this quote, gibson said he retweeted it from winterburn, who claimed he said it first, but his tweet is preceeded by 16 months by a woman named Debbie Hope, owner of the Twitter handle @debihope.
so to tell you the truth...
who really knows? =)
@@k3rc4 😂
“We” love you is NOT coming from your cousin! If he would have said “I” love you and you feel it coming from the heart.
You are amazing! Glad you are living life now being your authentic self. What you are sharing is not only healing for you but for others.... lots of others!
Exactly that
@@JoshuaFluke1 - no drama magnet, you just were born into a crazy family, for generations it looks like. (I've also watched your videos about the cult you grew up in. Now, that is plain insanity.These people need counceling way more than you ever will- and you do need it, but it's a good thing in your case, it won't be wasted, it would help you grow even more than you already did by yourself. You do need validation, this would liberate you from any guilt so much)
You broke the circle, of lies, of insanity.
Good for you, and good for many people that you're sharing your experience out loud.
(And again: you're not naming any name, you're not doing any harm, except to their ego. But that's their problem not yours. "You don't want to be shamed, don't do shameful things". Few wiser words were ever spoken.
This could have been my father. Man used to ask me for my paycheck when I was a waitress at Dennys when I was 16. "To help the family.". He stopped working when I was 8. Fully able bodied - mooched off my mother till she became ill and they divorced. When I turned 17 - I left - and didn't speak or see him again in 17 years. I was 34. Found out he lived in cars for at least half of the 17 years I was gone. The other half, he couch surfed and lived in the basement of friends and family. I didn't shed a tear - I just felt I dodged a bullet. Another "God is going to judge you for this" asshole.
My brother was also the "rent payer" - until he ditched him too. Started speaking to my father at age 34. The second time I met at at age 34 - he asked me to buy him a house. I straight up said, "NO". To his face. In the last 7 years, he has never asked me for anything else ever again.
He still speaks to me. And I don't search for him. Lives in elderly housing. And he has never entered my home, because I know what can of worms that would open. He speaks to me, fine. He doesn't speak to me, good. The time for owing each other anything is over. I went through a childhood of poverty because of him. I say that makes us even.
EDIT: Be very, very, very careful of other family members, pulling you in "with good cheer". I got pulled into meeting my father at age 34 by my aunt and cousins, when I wasnt interested. About a year later I figured out why. Because my father had been living with them, and they were looking for someone to pawn him off on. It's NOT genuine. They either don't want to be tapped into being the next "cash cow" - or they have been the cash cows for a long time - and they have decided that it is now YOUR TURN. I've cut off my extended family too - because of it
It breaks my heart for you. My eyes tear up listening to your story. Unless people are in your situation, they don't know how painful it is; even when it's the right thing to do. If I could give you a hug I would. You're a good guy!
It's hard to believe you turned out to be such a hard working, intelligent, good hearted, honest person with such loser parents.
How did that happen?
I'm so sorry for you....life is difficult at times...you definitely did the right thing.
Please keep going, and please feel good about yourself.
Amazing that he is this good of a person for sure . I would trust this guy 100 percent . I ended up split from my family as well and worried how I would react when my father passed. Sadly it did not affect me much .
Because when u go through stuff like he did, something breaks in u, it does make u think at the end what can u do as a Person, to not be such a fuck up as your parents, and how to better yourself for other People around u. Its a strugle from day to day because u don't ever forget this family drama and the only thing u can do is to be good to other People and yourself.
At least thats how i combat my bad experiences...
Some raised by a “troubled” parent grow up to mimic the parent’s behavior. Others grow up having recognized & suffered from the toxicity & are determined to take a different path. You sound like the latter. Hang tough. You did what needed to be done...for both of you.
You do realize he is only portraying this for money from TH-cam.. LOL
Rikki, I wondered the same thing. It's amazing that Josh seems so mature & even keeled.
As a mom of two kids about your age, this breaks my heart. You are doing the right thing, Josh. And by talking about it, you may be giving other people in the same situation the courage to walk away. I know it's not easy, but you can't change them, and being a doormat is unacceptable. Good for you. Stay strong! Wish I could give you a hug from here, but you deserve better, and I know you'll find better. And someday, if you have kids of your own, you'll be a great dad because you'll be conscious of what happened to you and determined to give your children a better life.
I'm honestly so happy that I came across these videos cause I thought I was the only one with no family & a similar story, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! I don't feel so alone anymore.....
It is definitely a sad tale. Jeezus, this stuff is driving me crazy.
Nope..I'm here too. Not to quite as severe but yeah.
@@robertgale3383 the fuck does that have to do with anything?
@@SouthValleyKnifeCo Right? Also, the way that guy just immediately blamed Trump for his life problems was disgusting.
Your not alone. I’m back with my family but things will never be the same. I’ll always know I’m expendable.
I just can’t believe he PAWNED your things and doesn’t think he didn’t do anything wrong.
Josh: "I'm not saying that they're criminals."
Josh's sister: "Please cash this blank check that doesn't belong to me."
Josh's dad: "Let me pay this electric bill with this credit card that isn't mine."
Also Josh's sister: "I'm just gonna crash my brother's car and flee the scene."
Lolol
Sounds like a criminal to me
@@JoshuaFluke1 Why aren't they on Social Security Insurance(SSI) they BOTH are of age to get it that's like a minimum of like 1.5k combined at the LOWEST amount. Like if they can ask YOU now's the time to get what's their's from the government they worked in the past and put money INTO SSI and even if it wasn't alot EVERY America GETS SSI if you got a Social Security Number. You get SSI at 65-67 they are BOTH in there mid 70s and IF there is a REAL mental or physical REASON they CAN NOT WORK get it diagnosed through a disability doctor and they can get SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY INSURANCE/INCOME TOO. So two revenue streams up to four depending on each parent.
@@F00LSG0LD215 Joshua's parents are not in their mid seventies. His father is not even sixty yet.
Josh ..... I think we are related.... lol
I’d rather watch a TH-camr who shows not just the good but the bad, can’t deal or follow posers, it takes a lot of courage to say this stuff. keep up the work!
On keeping this situation private, I feel like what's going on with your family does actually tie directly into your other content. It's like a unified theme of "don't let people take advantage of you and maintain boundaries". It doesn't matter if it's a corporation, or a romantic relationship or your family.
Edit: So... I mean, it's not really different from the other stuff on your channel at it's core, so why keep it private?
The ability to draw similarities between situations is a widely undervalued skill.
For example, simplifying something that is very complex. I actually did this the other day with my GF. We were talking about quantum tunneling which she isn't remotely familiar with. The analogy I used was a bunch of kids standing in a single file line, as the lines get closer together, children are bound to hop from line to line by mistake.
She understood instantly. This skill is missing in a lot of our teachers and it's a shame.
Awesome insight
Hella good point there Queas
I keep my private life private... because I have a good private life. I love my family and friends, and we respect and care about each other. If I had toxic relationships I would not hesitate to discuss it openly. In fact, I have. I have had toxic relationships which I have been very open to discuss.
Yeah but there is no retrospection because the shit is on-going and he's clearly emotional about it so I get the vibes that it's not right.
Your fam didn’t disown you, you disowned them and it was about time. Thank you for sharing, it will help others in this situation
Isn’t talking about things cathartic? Your channel, talk about what ever the hell you want! People watching can make their own decision to not watch if they don’t agree.
These few videos especially have come at the very same time for me. I have been contemplating the same thing for very very similar reasons. I’m just a subscriber who enjoys your content. Thanks for being real!
damn cathartic that's a big word
People are so needy, if the content doesn't align with their tastes or views they could choose not to watch it but instead bitch and whine like a bunch of preschoolers fighting over the toybox.
Innocent it’s one of the only big ones I know! 😆
Foxino exactly! They should just simmer down and move along!
It's why people make such a big deal of stuff like "coming out of the closet", you've finally realized something, come to accept it and talking about it helps reinforce your choice to move forward taking the weight off your shoulders. Not that he's gay lol.
People who steal from their children and children who steal from their parents shouldn't lecture others about Christian behavior. "Thou shall not steal" applies to them too.
Absolutely true.
People shouldn't lecture people about Christian behavior
In my family I'm not allowed to talk about anything in the past which means no closure, I've been disowned for 7years now. It gets easier but never feels right but you'll get through...
I think that’s common when your raised in a Narcissistic household.
I'm going through a similar situation with the majority of my family. While I've come to terms with the fact that cutting them from my life is something that has needed to be done for some time. Up until recently it wasn't something I was able to do.
I really appreciate your willingness to share your journey and to be so open about it. It makes me feel a lot less lonely about my own path.
Thank you.
You'll be alright
Hi Josh,
I fell into depression when I lost my job (1.5 years ago)
I buried myself, ignored mail, cutoff my friends
Luckily my family (ma, pa, grandma, uncle) broke through to me.
I didn't get homeless thanks to them and now I am working again.
Lucky for me
I've cried watching this
but you did the right thing
You have removed yourself from a bad situation and you broke the circle.
I envy your strength and can only say:
You are a good man.
All the best to you
Stay safe
Did the depression end with time? The brain confuses me. I hope Elon figures out a way to end depression with his mods.
They’re yust mad because you aren’t paying their way. Period.
Such a sweet guy! How could his family justify emotionally abusing this kind man and taking advantage of his generosity?
Friendly reminder: your feelings are valid. You shouldn't feel ashamed for them or for trying to address them.
I had to do the same thing. I had to cut off my entire family. I had to get away from a toxic situation. And the good news is, that God has really blessed me and made up for anything that I may have missed out on. Don’t be in love with the idea of the perfect family. Don’t let that blind you to reality of a toxic reality. God bless you Josh for putting this out there for everybody, you’re going to help a lot of people. You are not in this alone, we are with you, and we support you! It’s really hard in the beginning. But, then you’ll start to realize that you suddenly are a lot happier day in and day out. Do it. I hate to see you suffer!! They don’t deserve you, and you deserve better!!
Narcissistic Personalities are attracted to Empathetic Personalities.
would that be because its easier to take advantage of empathetic people?
@@jamesdeegan7365 Exactly. Watch the Jefferey Epstein documentary on Netflix. It's all there.
Opposites attract
Probably no coincidence why his dad got fired
Exposing all of this online is a very narcissistic thing to do, if you ask me. Saying things like "price of generosity, I guess" gives such a woe is me vibe. Maybe the apple didn't fall that far from the tree? Even if he is in the right on this doesn't justify going down this road so publicly but remember: we only got his side of the fight, no the complete picture.
Not being flippant, but it's NEVER to late to start the rest of your life on the right footing. Good luck, man.
This is exactly the type of content that is worth watching, youtube has always been full of fakers especially in the "software engineer youtuber" community. Thanks for getting into the gritty details about what life is like, I feel like so many people can learn from your experiences.
I agree!
"It was all about information control" yep, definitely religious, and not the good kind. All about the image, not the substance. It would break their mental, which is already broken.
When I heard him talk about information control, I kind of cried a bit because I felt that a lot of times in my life from other people thinking they were victimized when they were too scared to take action by bringing it up to other people.
this reminds me of “you didn’t came from your parents, you came through them” you are not them and you are not indebted to them.
Now I want to you live your life, your dream and be happy.
Omg this is one of my fav poem by kahlil gibran
I don't even know you, and I'm proud of you.
This is a heartwarming comment.
Being raised by that many narcissist's.. I feel for you. I was raised by a mother like that. It affects your relationships, bc you usually choose someone like you parents bc you didn't get what you needed from them and being conditioned to abuse you are vulnerable to predators " other narcissist"
My parents screwed me over, you are doing the right thing.
Family is overrated, always remember, you can pick your friends,not you family.
Screw them.
I have heard a saying "Friends are the family you pick"
@@philg3914 I think the saying is,
"You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family."
good to see HR lady is with you during that emotional struggle, keep being good to her!
im happy for you both
So, just remember, in your future don’t make the new people in your life pay for the damage the people in your past caused👑
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” -C.S. Lewis. This has all been to make you stronger. Life is a game, and despite appearances to the contrary, you are absolutely winning it. You are a very special and beloved soul. Don’t worry whatsoever about what others say. Angels are guiding you and will protect you.
I was raised in a very Dysfunctional Family. Keeping quiet doesn't work cutting your dysfunctional family off does. I don't miss any of them.
I would be proud to have you as my son, it's refreshing to see you moving on, essentially you have had to parent yourself. I love that you are showing your rage now, totally entitled! Well done!
Sounds like my dysfunctional family.
My mom is narcissistic and has kicked me out. I’m so glad God answered my prayers and now I have a new place I will move to at the end of Jan 2021.
"earnestly seek the Lord" - Josh's grandmother
Proverbs 21:25 "the desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor"
Proverbs 10:5 "he who gathers in the summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son"
Proverbs 14:23 "all hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty"
Psalm 128:2 "you shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands, you shall be blessed and it shall be well with you"
Is this not earnest enough?
A good reminder that it's not technically religion that makes them narcissists, it's that they're narcissists in the first place and use the religion as cover to be aholes. Case in point, we're seeing in society what happens when people no longer have religion, they just use some other respected cover in order to continue being aholes.
Religious sects always like to cherry pick phrases that are ambiguous enough that they can be distorted in all sorts of ways to suit their agenda. Just totally ignore their blabbing. It's useless to give them any attention.
@@ForgottenKnight1 yup
1 Thessalonians 3:10
Don’t throw your pearls to swine, they’ll just trample them. The only wrong you did was enable them, and that’s not a sin, just poor choices.
Amen!
EXACTLY! You're doing it my man! This random internet stranger is so fucking proud of you. I know how hard this kinda shit is. Good luck going forward!
You have been wronged, Josh, and it's not your fault. To be brutally honest with you, the only way to proactively move forward from here is to lose the victim mentality altogether. Again, it's not your fault and you have indeed been a victim - but you must remember that victimhood need not define you from this point forward. It's good to get it out and I'm not trying to criticize you for that - I hope you understand.
Burn the bridge? Check (good work). Emotional detachment? Check. Put an end to being victimized? Check.
Only then will you find your true, unabated self again. Good luck.
And remember it's not victimhood-mentality if you were actually victimized. Which you were, by several gaslighters, and you arent alone.
I've been prone to love people like this as well. Peace be with you.
I needed to see this comment so bad. I'm going through alot like Josh, my family isn't worth a fuck when it comes to me. I've been gaslighted and blamed and exposed to such volatility and manipulation that I feel like I'm a problem everywhere I am and to everyone. and it's my fault. I've been used and lied to until I had nothing left to give and when I finally reached back for love and help, I got told no. and like him, I am way too nice. but I've since become cold and in lack of better words, I'm an absolute asshole now, when the need arise. and I dont care who gets offended and hurt. fuck that. no one ever cares how much I hurt.
Josh: If you disrespect me, your dead to me
Godfather music starts playing in the background
His parents’ behavior goes waaaay beyond disrespect. They don’t even respect themselves! Narcissism is a good descriptor of their behavior, and that never changes. You just have to walk away.
MOVE so they can't get to you and don't give hints on YT about where you live.
It's called Integrity. Doesn't sound like they have any. It's hard facing up to the bullies. Don't support your damn moocher family. It's time to rep the car.
Hah integrity! Hard to practice and no one thanks you for it. Kind of poetic actually. I try my best personally but you can’t make others cash that check.
This is the reason that I follow you and like your stand. It encourages me to share my broken family story if I have own channel. Your real life really touches me. Thank you!
I had to cut off all contact with my sister after our mother died. My sister was always full of drama the entire time we were growing up, my mother would always say “you know how she is”. Once our mother was gone and I no longer felt I had to keep everyone happy, I finally had to pull the plug on my sister. It’s been over 10 years, my life is calm, no drama, and it feels wonderful. I’m now 66, so all of this happened when I was 56.....so his was not done as a young person acting out of emotion.
There are toxic people all around us, even in your own family. I personally think you did the right thing for yourself. We have to avoid toxic people like the plague, we can’t allow others to steal our joy. The fact that your grandparents, and your parents know what to say to make you feel guilty, so typical of toxic people. I’m sorry, but healthy adults should take full responsibility for their own lives.
From what you previously stated, your father ran up thousands of dollars of credit card bills in your name! There is absolutely no reason for your father to intentionally destroy your credit. People that do this feel like they are owed something, they have no guilt, and they try to guilt you for what they have done.
In my opinion, you have made the right choice for yourself. There are those that will always take advantage of your good heart, but there does come a time when enough is enough. Some people will say you’re selfish, ya know sometimes you have to get selfish in order to live your life.
Over time it will get easier, at least you finally stopped the cycle of abuse of your money, and most importantly your mental well being. Stay strong, live your life as you see fit. Life is like a buffet, unfortunately many people just hang out at the table and starve to death.
I'd rather live under a bridge than do this to my grown children.
Definitely, that’s because we are loving and not narcissistic idiots! Stay blessed💜
I mean...I'm a grown woman and my dad still tries to hand me gas money!!
I know right?!?! What a wonderful son to have ... these people are sick!! I'm glad he has a girlfriend with him...
Same, Randa!
Have y’all seen “Hillbilly Elegy”? My favorite part of that movie was when Ma-maw told her granddaughter: “You got the right to your own life.”
My interpretation is that you were the "normal", pudgy kid growing up. Then, as you aged, everything around you turned to poop for no reason. First the wife. Then the gf. Now the family. Life is suffering.
Stay strong dude.
Let's be real he is a example of what not to be as a man. Every advantage constantly fails at life. His girl and friends and family all left him for a reason
Janna Mini the original phrase is actually that the blood of a covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. So it’s saying friends are more important than family
To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering. - Friedrich Nietzsche
new here what happened to wife and gf?
Dad: No, josh you're not getting the keys
Josh: Ok
Tow truck: *Let me introduce myself*
I would just have reported it stolen lol
@@Sehyo Did you watch the video? You can't report it as stolen; it would be a breach of trust, not theft.
Shivam Srivastava isn’t that still a situation where police can force someone to give up the keys?
@@Gavolak no they would maybe show up and the dad would say my son gave me this car and now he wants it back cuz we had a fight, and the cop would then say okay have a nice day, and tell the kid he’s gotta go to civil court that he’s not the court........ just like if you let someone sleep in your house and then ask them to leave, they can actually then refuse to leave, and you have to go through the entire eviction process through the courts because you “willingly let them stay with you”
Your family's wierd relationship with "privacy" hits too close to home.
My father always kept everything about him a secret. Despite growing up with him, he felt like a stranger. Many years later, my mother revealed to me that, financially, my father has always had money problem because he would always spent more than he could afford, he would pressure people to lend him money in order to buy stocks, only for the stocks to lose all their value, etc. Emotionally, my father was always a manipulator who would shame us for refusing to do things "for the family", and he would blatantly lie to us in order to hide as many inconvenient truths as he could. He wanted to hide as much about himself as he could as he was ashamed of his actions, yet he had no interest in trying to improve from his past mistakes.
My mother burned bridges with him long ago. My father tried to force me and my sisters to "pick a side" between him and my mother. We told him we wouldn't. I haven't fully burned bridges with my father yet, but whenever I have to interact with him, I feel like I could snap at any time.
Even if our situations are not comparable, your videos help me know that I am not the only one who has this kind of relationship with a parent.
Narcissism at its finest
Hosono , I can totally relate. My father was always very secretive about his background. Even my mom knew very little about him. One thing I figured out was that he is very insecure. My father NEVER said, I love you, to me or my brother. I once asked my mom if he was really my father. She was horrified that I could even think that but that was how I felt. When my mom died, I had enough. I have not spoken to him in more than 10 years and I am very happy with that. The only thing I wonder about is what in hell happened in his life that made him the way he is. I don’t hate him. I just feel sorry for him.
Sounds like a commie, lies, control and propaganda. Text-book narcissist.
I didn't even realize that my dad was an alcoholic until my Junior year of high school. He did an excellent job of hiding it, and I mean truly impressive. I feel like my situation might be a bit unique in that my dad was very loving, understanding, etc. He became less and less involved in my life as I got into middle school and above, which at the time I figured was just due to me spending more time with friends, but in hindsight that doesn't quite account for all of it.
Anyways, I consider myself fortunate in that even though my dad had a decent deal of secrecy in his life due to alcohol, he was very transparent about just about anything else.
It's also interesting to me that my entire childhood growing up until my Junior year of high school, I thought my parents were destined for each other in that they seemed to be thoroughly happy together, etc.
Turns out, they were *not at all* happy with each other. So I guess you could add that to the secrecy in a way, but in hindsight, it feels like less of a secret knowing that their intentions were to protect us essentially (probably would have been better off with full transparency but I still consider intentions alone incredibly important).
Holy Shit...so many crazy humans out there. Stay safe, we are all made of flesh and blood. Face your fears and talk to someone If possible
Josh I have two sisters that haven't talked to me in about 33 years.i don't even know why.i choose to love every one,if they don't it's their loss I know it hurts but it's out of my control.
Thanks so much for sharing bro. It makes me feel better about being in a similar situation and that I'm not alone. It also helps to see how someone else handles it. Being able to laugh at your videos and say to myself "yep thats exactly how it is". Is really helpful. I hope you get tons of success in whatever you do. Never trust them again. NEVER trust them again.
Josh: Can I have the key to my car?
Dad: No you cannot.
Tow truck go brrrrrt
I've followed along silently, but now that you are at the end of this, I want you to know what a profound influence this has had on me for my own, yet different, struggle. For a while now I have had a very strong internal critic of myself. Thinking to myself, "no matter how much you improve yourself, there is no one who will truly love you and or won't leave you". Getting dragged through multiple failed relationships can make you think that way. But I have hope. My family has acted the opposite of yours, unflinchingly and unconditionally supporting me with words of affirmation. "I love you" and "I'm so proud of you son" and "One day you will find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved". I heard them say all this, but I didn't "believe" them. My internal critic wouldn't allow it...
But now, with a detailed point of reference that you have provided, I've reflected on that past and realized that no, I was wrong. I was depressed. I was hearing them, but I want listening. This realization has brought back a ray of joy I had forgotten about.
For this, I thank you.
I know that this might not make your situation any better, or that possibly you interpret this as me boasting about having a loving family. That's not my objective.
I want you to know that by sharing your pain and life with us all you have greatly improved the at least one person's life. Your pursuit of happiness though all of your unbelievably unfortunate circumstances is inspiring for people like me.
Once again, thanks.
It makes you reflect on your past issues, shit you have faced in your life family drama that caused a great divide still to this day half of my family have not had anything to do with me. all because of my father and I having a disagreement and me moving away to live with mum. situations might be different but watching this young bloke facing the first steps in dealing with a complete break from his family was something i dealt with back when I was 14 half of my family disowned me and wanted nothing to do with me. the other half supported me and kept me going. i watch this fella in the hopes that it will all sort itself out one day and they will all apologise to him for what they have done and appreciate the amount of time and effort and money he spent giving back to his family when they needed him. eventually my father and I did talk to one another again and luckily it was only 2 years that we had wiped each other off for. however because my grandfather was involved in it everyone else on that side just all wiped me off as well over something that had nothing to do with them. I am glad at the end of all the drama that my dad and I got back in touch with one another. if anything Josh, I hope your dad recovers gets back on his own two feet and gets back to financially supporting himself or some government help but if the rest of them want to disown you whatever. I hope your dad makes it up to you someday I can tell in all your videos you were close with your dad and I hope that bond comes back better later on once hes sorted himself out. depression sucks mate, I'm still dealing with it in my life. once the gyms open back up here I'll have a distraction a new goal to push myself towards rather than feeling down or pathetic. getting my license this year hopefully will be a big boost to my motivation as well. bit like how josh is going for his pilots license. im still going for a car license haha.
Had to cut my sister out of my life. Its your life live it to the fullest.
Having a blood relation does not warrant love or respect, it might make it a bit easier to achieve, but it isn't a requirement.
You did great.
OMG!! Paying 600 a month for someone else to have the privaledge of driving "MY" car. NO WAY!!!!
Dear Josh something like this happened to a friend, so now I’ve seen it for real. Your story is true. We understand. Protect yourself. Cut them off and don’t look back.
I saw too many times how people took advantage of my mom's kindness from a young age. Ever since then I vowed I would be kind but NEVER a pushover.
same with my mum sadly. she is the shining star in my whole family. meanwhile others used her like she was an ATM machine or financial adviser.
It seems women in particular have difficulty differentiating between those truly in need and those simply trying to take advantage of them.
Exactly. Agree with you 110%
Nice is not necessarily kind.
Kind isn't necessarily nice.
Not knowing when and how to say NO is being a pushover.
Hey, work for a bailiff here, great idea just taking the car. I've seen situations like this and 70% of people feel entitled and think it's "their" car and will hide it and/or damage it.
Tough love on the family takes a lot of guts. Good for you.
My mom, sister and myself have NEVER owned a car: we walked, took the bus, took the train, or used Uber/Lyft to get to work.
Your dad will be fine. If we can get to work without a car than he can too.
Altair he just said in the video his dad lives next to the trainstation. I thibk the biggest reason americans are dependant on their cars, simply is laziness.
@Altair He is next to a train station and a grocery store if that enough in Europe I don't understand why it's not enough in USA.
They didn’t get a job when they had the car so time is up. Yes they can get a job with no car. I did. It’s called public transportation.
Altair I’ve lived in the area Josh does, and even took a week-long trip down there back last September to take my daughter to visit her grandpa. Took light rail out of the airport. We went as far northeast as the zoo, as far south as Draper, and around the West Valley areas all on public transportation. It’s 100% viable in the Salt Lake valley, though you sometimes have to walk or ride a bike a mile or two after a stop. I used to live there back in the 00s, and even then when there was only one light rail line, public transportation was a feasible option to help you get to work.
Altair i dont know what youre going on about. Maybe youre also a lazy american.
I blocked my dad after confronting him on some stuff, he rufused to acknowledge or change, so I did it. I cut him off for a year. It was worth it and a year later our relationship is better. You know your own circumstance much better than anyone else. Hopefully by having their actions brought into the light they will repent and return to right living... you are continually in my prayers, God bless.
@MannerHamster I've cut off my dad about 3 years ago and its been the best decision I've made he's not a terrible person but he's lost. I still talk to him time to time but it's more like talking with an old friend.
@Garrett Nixon ?
did the same thing for 2 years with mine when I was 14. it works alright they realise what they lose when they cant find you or contact you. but its never the same after coming back in contact its like a complete desynchronisation so now that I am much older I feel like more of a friend rather than son at times. when I stay with him for a while some of the old dad comes back. but other times its different. there is pros and cons to wiping family members off. for example my grandparents who disowned me its never been the same after they tried to mend bridges. they never maintained contact sent cards nothing so everything quickly reverted back to how it was and i felt no reason to make an effort to restore the bridge because what had happened at the time was too damaging. you no longer see much of the good things there is only a few good memories. and they are extremely few and far between. after so many years she never asks about her grandson, never wants to know how I am doing in my life and i only know this because my dad is the one that talks to her. if i call her ever she would rather be doing something else then talking to me. it was the same at a family funeral.
Young man, I'm late to this party and this is my first time seeing you. I will watch your previous videos to catch up, but I think you should know that the more you talk about things that poison you the more you release the venom. GIVE IT AWAY! If you don't talk about it it will poison you. I wish you a wonderful life. ❤❤❤❤❤
You are teaching your dad a lesson. He needs to be reminded about responsibly.
I’m going through this right now... it’s very painful. I’m getting ready to move out. I’m just done with the abuse. Keep your head up man. 💜💜💜 I appreciate you sharing this with us. I want you to talk about this. You’re a grown ass dude, and you can do whatever you want. You can share your truth, and speak your mind. You have given me strength to do this myself. To me, you’re an inspiration. I look up to you. And I’m also super proud of you.
Stay strong, Brianna! Hope you can escape your toxic situation soon.
Live free! Never be afraid to face the pain
Day 3 is the hardest. It gets easier from here. If you give it a couple of months you will be much less attached to this problem and will be able to see it from our perspective. To us, this is crazy and we would never sign up for that kind of mistreatment.
Thanks for sharing. Hopefully this helps others to also make this change.
The first 6 months of no contact/estrangement is mostly grieving for the loss...the first 3 months or so are the most guilt ridden and traumatic, in the abyss....months 4-5 are mostly reconciling with oneself the greatest sacrifice...by months 6-7 are mostly feeling more oneself, acceptance and a ability to laugh about it (laughing about the craziness/crazy making is a sign one is definitely healing)....at least from my experience...July 2019 I went no contact, had to change my phone number and block on social media at one point.
It does get easier, WAY easier, almost too easy. People want timelines, but day 3? Not gonna happen.