disowned by my family... i got my car back ( the final update ) |
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Turning the page on toxic family is very difficult. I feel for what you've been through. I hope your viewers can take heed if they're in similar situations. IT IS NOT WRONG to distance yourself from TOXIC people.
Good for you brother. Good for you.
WOW What a small world! My favorite aviation youtuber and my favorite coder interacting with each other!!! It's funny, I didn't put it together until just now that y'all are both from Utah. Are you friends IRL? I'm totally geeking out. Anyhow - great words of wisdom Cory as usual. Great vids and as always great wisdom. Hang in there Joshua!
It’s unfortunate that you realize that kind of late in life
Trying to get this pilot license to be his wingman lol
I'm actually going through this right now. My mom came over today (randomly) to tell me she's going to pray for me. I'm not religious at all. She doesn't even see how pretentious that is.
@@IsaacDozier1 You don't need to be religious to pray to The Most High and he knows your plight Lukewarm Christians use it as a weapon to guilt people into putting up with their crap making it hard for people who need to hear from him the most. But know they will get their due soon. Real Christians don't judge and don't bother judging people they will offer support and let you find your own way. Hopefully all of you going through trying times will eventually find your way to happiness.
You’re breaking the dysfunctional cycle passed down through your family. Your kids will have a better life because of it, God bless you man. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all this, I couldn’t imagine.
That's it right there
He doesnt want kids lmao
@@melonie_peppers He did talk about possibly adopting so if that ever happens the they will be very lucky.
@@Tom-hc1ql Same here! When it comes to the huge life choices, “never say never!”.
True shit bro it will all be worth it in the end. Shitty in the meantime tho lol
Sounds like josh became a man with boundaries.
AS HE SHOULD
When I hear Josh speaking, I realize he is not aware of who his Dad is and that the truth about the guy and what he does is completely UNKNOWN. I would recommend about 3 years of an hour daily on youtube channels that deal with narcissism. There are too many, but one that speaks about these kinds of people is called “The Little Shaman”.
For some reason it seems to take forever to understand and get those boundaries. It’s because of the attachment trauma. Josh actually has a similar problem to his dad (except the dad can’t get well). This explains Josh’s situation perfectly:
th-cam.com/video/Mmac6AV8bjg/w-d-xo.html
setting boundaries is something that comes with growth for sure. Its something i recently realized myself.
Setting boundries in a narcissistic environment is rough especially when it is family. Took me til late thirties to start reall5 putting foot down
@@Natalie-gb8tt thats called enabling
Generational strongholds, you're breaking the cycle.
This is a real thing that is very rarely recognised.
And it is extremely difficult. Distance through time helps to make the break stronger.
I remember my counselor showing me a quote that went something like..."You tell your story and you tell it loud. If someone is angry about how they are portrayed then they should have behaved better. " Love, big hugs, and prayers flying to you.
I love that quote…I’m stealing and using it, thanks
@@godthesonhasilluminatedme you are so welcome. I'm happy it spoke to you like it did to me. Hugs.
People calling you a bad son are a joke, he was a bad father first, why does he get a pass?
It's one thing to be useless or incompetent but his dad needs situational awareness. If you're useless stop acting like you're the boss. If he was depending on his son, he should have made it as easy for Josh as possible; not cause him more trouble.
@@NoirVelours They probably behave the same like his family members or some garbage, lmfao.
The only people saying he is a bad son, are the one's that are like the vultures..
@@Natalie-gb8tt A number of things. I'm not super familiar with Josh and his family history, since I've only watched a few of his videos, but for one, his dad appears to be a crappy dad, based off of what he supposedly did in this video. Plus there are a couple other videos that Josh has, that covers his years of being born and raised in a cult. (And I'm not meaning the Mormon religion, since they are in Utah, now. Even though its not really a cult, but a lot of people ca it one.) But if his dad has really done half of what Josh said he has done... Man, that's one crappy dad. Maybe he was a better dad when Josh was little. He could have been an attentive and loving dad. But based off of the videos and what Josh has said in them the past few years, it sounds as if his dad is a horribly manipulative, self centered jerk, who guilt trips Josh into giving him whatever he wants or needs.
I dunno. Some people may disagree. But based off this video, alone, his dad sounds like he wasn't the best person, let alone parent. But thats just my take on it, and I'll respect anyone else's opinion on it, even if it's the opposite of my own. There are always at least 2 sides to a story, and some people may empathize with the dad to some degree.
@@kari7403 Natalia is a weird old Josh family memb
I've never agreed more with a statement after hearing you say "If you don't wanna be ashamed don't do shameful shit"
Yes exactly very powerful words there
There's an old Chinese proverb that states, "If you wish no one to find out, don't do it." I say this to people who bitch to me about suffering consequences for their own mistakes.
I’ve had to say this many times in my life too. It’s not easy
I's been my motto since elementary school hence why noone can blackmail me with anything.
I'd rather live under a bridge than do this to my grown children.
Definitely, that’s because we are loving and not narcissistic idiots! Stay blessed💜
I mean...I'm a grown woman and my dad still tries to hand me gas money!!
I know right?!?! What a wonderful son to have ... these people are sick!! I'm glad he has a girlfriend with him...
Same, Randa!
You are the whistleblower in your family. The truth hurts and people find that uncomfortable.
When I reported abuse my family used family courts to discredit me and keep control of me and keep me from being able to move away and I had similar experience and my family are Jesuit Masons that the Mormon and People of Praise cult is based on.
@@KristinaTurnerUS woah is this true
@@TheStrategyStudio268 Yes. And I blocked out half my life because of traumatic amnesia.
@@KristinaTurnerUS that's so sad, I wish you the best and you are better off with them far away from your life
@@TheStrategyStudio268 I still live with them, but members of my family were not aware of what other people in secret societies did to me and basically act like it did not happen and have acted like I am mentally unstable and doctors and psychologists were involved in the abuse and covering it up since I was very young.
It’s 100% wrong for any parent to do this. Parents are responsible for their children, not the other way around.
Well I agree, unless they're very old and were good parents.
Parents are not responsible for their adult children forever!!!
@@marciaryan1231 where did I say that they were? And certainly children are NEVER responsible for their parents, only in certain cultures where it’s expected. But when a person chooses to bring a life into the world, that person is now responsible for said life.
Parents are NOT responsible grown ass children!
@@gloriauselton9897 Again, where did I say that they were? But you think kids should take care of their “grown ass” parents?
You are doing the right thing. I am the black sheep of a toxic family. Been estranged from them sense 2014. BEST DECISION EVER. DO IT. STAY STRONG.
Damn dude your solid for doing this. I waited till I was in my 50's and sure wish Id been smart enough to do it at your age. Much respect.
Just by talking about things that are bothering you, is therapeutic. It is good to unburden, by talking, gives one a relief. And stop blaming yourself for your family’s problems.
Not just relief, but also perspective. This is one reason why a therapist is a good idea. It doesn't mean you are crazy or have mental issues. It just gives you an outside perspective.
The more you talk about it the less power it has over you
A therapist would 100% agree with what he is doing, in fact, advise him to keep with it.
My personal observation is that sometimes when you’re born into a dysfunctional family, either you become like them or you may become a people pleaser and people recognize that and you become a magnet for users and abusers.
Hello, people pleaser here, yes I am a magnet! I have to fix the worlds peoples problems, to the point, I no longer leave my room, PTSD, agoraphobic, panic disorder, and extreme anxiety disorder, fun life. I have no trust of anyone outside my house. From this lived experience, this man is so correct in what he is doing. Get out young before you are so broken like me.
They are called narcissists. Their are different degrees of it and it is extreme mental abuse also the number1cause of suicide
@@tamitami7396 it's not to late. Your not broken they are
Aida Sararavia, you are 100% right.
100
“Love” is the narcissists favorite weapon.
👊💋🖕 👈👀👉 🪂
Honesty it is to be normalised by narcissistic people
Can not agree more
The thing about being disowned is that they can no longer own you.
I air my dirty laundry out in my house...but sometimes ya gotta go to the laundromat for the big stuff
I want to tell my story. Parents both narcissistic, drama, trauma, cutting them off completely 6 years ago. We're NOT wrong. No guilt. I'm telling everyone.
You are an INSPIRATION!!!!!
I cut off my "father" YEARS AGO. Than my "mother" stopped talking to me. My sister didnt understand & thought I was wrong.
Fast forward my "father" died, I reached out to my "mother"... HUGE MISTAKE!!!!
Fast forward, a year later my sister calls me crying. She apologized for how she treated me. She had to cut our "mother" out.
We are BOTH soooo much mentally better off!
I PROMISE things WILL GET BETTER!!!!!
im glad things turned out better for you
I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to you. If you need a new Grandmother, even a Grandmother from Australia, I'm in. I hope you can start rebuilding your life Josh, I believe karma exists and you have a lot of good karma coming your way, all the best from Australia sweetheart xx
This is the most wholesome thing
It breaks my heart for you. My eyes tear up listening to your story. Unless people are in your situation, they don't know how painful it is; even when it's the right thing to do. If I could give you a hug I would. You're a good guy!
Josh - I am a mom of three sons and am probably old enough to be your mom. I want you to know that you matter. Your mental health matters. Your ability to trust matters. No one has the right to strip you of your voice, your choices, your mental well being. Family comes in all shapes and for some, a “chosen family” is the only family who matters. I wanted you to know, speaking as a mother, that I am proud of you. My children are not extensions of me. They owe me nothing. That’s not how it works. Stay strong. Please know that there are parents out here who support you and would gladly stand beside you if you needed it.
Thank you for supporting Josh
Hi @Stephanie
Good perspective
♥️♥️♥️
You sound like the mother everyone needs. You’re a very kind lady for giving Josh support at this difficult time for him. I wish you and your sons well!
Josh, you are a handsome, intelligent, honest, & upstanding young man. Never apologize for having integrity, it's a quality that's very lacking now days! The "nice guy" thing is a slippery slope, you can still be a nice guy without being a doormat & pushover, it's a fine line for sure! Don't give up on love, there's someone out there for you. I wish you all the best in the future!
lillmissd, your words are golden!
I would be proud to have you as my son, it's refreshing to see you moving on, essentially you have had to parent yourself. I love that you are showing your rage now, totally entitled! Well done!
I just can’t believe he PAWNED your things and doesn’t think he didn’t do anything wrong.
My husband showed me your videos because it reminded him so much of my own family dynamic. I subbed to your channel and support you 100% Be healthy and happy my dude.
I am so proud of you for taking your car back!! He can buy a 20 yr old reliable Honda for $1000 to get to work.
Which is what he should have done for his dad in the first place, get a cheap car give it to him, if he fucks up that's on him.
I wish cars were that cheap here in Mexico, it would be really good for me because my college is kind of far from my house 😕
@Kelly Larsen...You’re a 100% correct!!! We had a very sweet lady gift us a 2003 Honda at Christmas 2019. I bought my husband a one way plane ticket to Minneapolis, he then drove the little SUV back home to Arizona. It currently has 201,000 miles. Took it for an oil change and check up, the mechanic 👨🏼🔧 said; “wow, you’re really lucky, there’s not a thing wrong with this car” God bless her always for what she did.
@@edwardecl he "should have" bought his dad a car? Wow.
Whats wrong with that? A used car is not all that much money compared to what he gave his dad. Signing a finance deal on a car for someone else is insane.
It's nice to do things for people if you think it can help them in the long run.
This is actually the content I subscribed for, it really helps me put things in perspective thank you for your honesty.
Your fam didn’t disown you, you disowned them and it was about time. Thank you for sharing, it will help others in this situation
You have every right to do this
His SELFISHNESS is outrageous.
Josh you showing the reality of what this looks like is HELPING A TON OF MEN who get guilted into situations like this and end up feeling obligated and struggling for the rest of their lives. IM PROUD OF YOU AND THANK YOU
That religious patriarchal bullshit is so harmful to both men and women. Taking *everyone's* agency away, women are kept as objects and men have to be unfeeling men of steel that also act as ATMs. It doesn't actually help anyone
@@chloedsmith Thank you for acknowledging that it hurts more than women alone. It absolutely does hurt women, *and* it absolutely does hurt men. I wish more people could recognize that.
And women. Basically all who actually not only take responsibility. Well done.
@@chloedsmith
HM, doubt God supports this mess.
@@chloedsmith that's not really what it's about. The scripture says men are the head meaning, he is suppose to have a solid spiritual relationship with our creator and lead his family into the same.
I'm going through a similar situation with the majority of my family. While I've come to terms with the fact that cutting them from my life is something that has needed to be done for some time. Up until recently it wasn't something I was able to do.
I really appreciate your willingness to share your journey and to be so open about it. It makes me feel a lot less lonely about my own path.
Thank you.
You'll be alright
Not being flippant, but it's NEVER to late to start the rest of your life on the right footing. Good luck, man.
It's actually healthy for you to talk about this. You're helping others. You haven't named names. This will force them to look at themselves. They need to grow up. The devil loves secrets! Your survival is amazing! You're the adult! I respect you! 😍
This is abuse, they are abusing you. This is so wrong. I just can't even imagine this. They are criminals. If they did this to a stranger they would be locked up. How dare anyone say you're a bad son. They're criminals too.
I don't think its illegal or criminal. But its immoral and flat out wrong and manipulative.
I totally agree with this. They are pathological narcissists. They will forever truly believe that they are victims. Saying that they were perpetrated against. Amazing.
@@kari7403 Did you see the whole video? If a stranger did to you what they did to their son you would call the cops. Anyone would. Because it's a crime to steal, even if it is family.
@@amywarner7730 i would?! Damn. You know.me better than I know myself. Ill have to check in with you in the morning, so I know for sure what I actually will be eating for breakfast.
@Billy Thorson yeah, I missed the credit card part, also. But all the rest, isn't criminal.
The ONLY ones who are saying to keep things private are the ones who dont want to be exposed for stuff they wouldnt want exposed!!!
Exactly. If you want people to speak fondly about you, don’t do fucked up things.
They want to pretend a moral or advantageous position and even a whisper of the truth would destroy their ego.
I don't even know you, and I'm proud of you.
This is a heartwarming comment.
I like Dave Ramsey’s saying, “your family are travel agents for guilt trips!”
It’s okay to let toxic people go....it will leave room for good people to come in.
People really don’t want help. They would help themselves if they did.
"Better than I deserve!"
It's funny you mention fave Ramsey because Josh can't stand him. Lol
Sometimes the family that we are born into is not our true family. Some of us have to make our own family with others in our life.
Absolutely!
The truth is Josh came through them but is not of them.
Such a sweet guy! How could his family justify emotionally abusing this kind man and taking advantage of his generosity?
EXACTLY! You're doing it my man! This random internet stranger is so fucking proud of you. I know how hard this kinda shit is. Good luck going forward!
I too was raised by a Narcissist mother. She was manipulative to me and my dad. Ruined a relationship between my dad and me. Luckily we rebonded as adults. Best wishes. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Thanks for being brave enough to expose them!
Sadly, your family only gave conditional “love”. Once you stopped letting them take, they stopped giving “love”. That is NOT love at all. You deserve better!
Dex4Sure Hyper religious, more like twisted and religious. Religion is a beautiful thing, but it can be perverted by ignorant and sinful people. Jesus is love, merciful and graceful. Bless you all!!
That's the brand of the narcissist, and once you recognise it, the lot become transparent to you and you'll never be caught off guard again.
@@jjayguy23 The way I define religion as opposed to spirituality, I consider religion of any kind to be "less than ideal" *at best,* not even to mention the times it has led to atrocities.
I think that spirituality is what we should be striving for. The way I define religion is closely tied to dogma, whereas the way I define spirituality isn't held back by any convention. To me, spirituality is a longing to connect with that which we truly are as opposed to that which we superficially appear to be, and when people connect with that which they truly are, problems between people and groups of people solve themselves.
In my mind, spirituality is all about love and interconnectedness (not necessarily one-ness because even though I recognize we're all connected, we're *also* all unique and that aspect is vitally important), whereas religion is about belief fundamentally.
I put direct experience way above belief systems of any kind, and I don't care who the authority figure is who might say otherwise.
Love is conditional... it's conditional on the idea that everyone involved is not being a toxic and useless asshole. You're supposed to be helping each other and trying to be better, that's why it's conditional.
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with having a bad moment here and there, and it's fine to want people who love you to help you. But what isn't okay is gaslighting, toxic behaviour where you expect people to help you unconditionally.
@Dex4Sure my family is like this and they absolutely hate anything religious. In fact I found faith and they used it as a tsctic to manipulate me more. So hardly a tool usually used by religious people. Non-religious people are just as big of assholes as anyone else. 🙁
So, just remember, in your future don’t make the new people in your life pay for the damage the people in your past caused👑
Josh I have two sisters that haven't talked to me in about 33 years.i don't even know why.i choose to love every one,if they don't it's their loss I know it hurts but it's out of my control.
Your parents lost the right to you when they stole your credit cards, stuck you with extra fees for no good reason, then asked you to pay for everything in their lives for month after month after month. I hope their house is not in your name.
Grandpa was mad when you changed the game because he had been relieved that you were taking care of his son. You’ve been the only adult in your family since you were very young. I like that you are telling your story. It is helpful to hear other people’s stories. 🌸
You are correct.....Grandpa loved that his grandson was taking care of his deadbeat son!!!! Well Grandpa it’s your turn now..... you deal with your son!!!
The house is rented.
Drama llama. You did good boy. You’re a man now.
So sad, but we don’t choose our parents. We choose our future.
I love that, I’m going to use it, I didn’t choose my family, I chose my future! Thank you for summarizing how I feel in a perfect package! Stay blessed. 💜🙏💜
This is so similar to my story. Thank you for the uploads
Thank you for admitting the whole truth when a family tries to control one another, it is never pretty. Shining a light on how people do this to each other, is badly needed!
I can relate so much to some of these situations, I know what your point is; I always thought being nice was a virtue, but it was always seen as a weakness.
“We” love you is NOT coming from your cousin! If he would have said “I” love you and you feel it coming from the heart.
You are amazing! Glad you are living life now being your authentic self. What you are sharing is not only healing for you but for others.... lots of others!
Exactly that
@@JoshuaFluke1 - no drama magnet, you just were born into a crazy family, for generations it looks like. (I've also watched your videos about the cult you grew up in. Now, that is plain insanity.These people need counceling way more than you ever will- and you do need it, but it's a good thing in your case, it won't be wasted, it would help you grow even more than you already did by yourself. You do need validation, this would liberate you from any guilt so much)
You broke the circle, of lies, of insanity.
Good for you, and good for many people that you're sharing your experience out loud.
(And again: you're not naming any name, you're not doing any harm, except to their ego. But that's their problem not yours. "You don't want to be shamed, don't do shameful things". Few wiser words were ever spoken.
As a mom of two kids about your age, this breaks my heart. You are doing the right thing, Josh. And by talking about it, you may be giving other people in the same situation the courage to walk away. I know it's not easy, but you can't change them, and being a doormat is unacceptable. Good for you. Stay strong! Wish I could give you a hug from here, but you deserve better, and I know you'll find better. And someday, if you have kids of your own, you'll be a great dad because you'll be conscious of what happened to you and determined to give your children a better life.
I totally agree with what you are doing. Good that your talking about it. I hope others can see your strength. It is hard and can tell it’s got a lot of stress in your life. Hugs buddy
I’m so proud of you Josh, you have done a wonderful thing and taken back your life. I am sending you gods blessings at this difficult time. I did the same thing when I was 24, I am now 60 and never regretted a day of my actions. You can not fight narcissism or long term personality disorder. It’s generational and deep seeded. Nothing will change so don’t hold your breath waiting. Sending love & many blessings for your new exciting life 🙏🏼🙏🏼🥰🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
He wasn't gonna commute to a job with that car anyway. You did the right thing x 1000%!
Thank you for being someone who a big following trying to normalise speaking about how you feel. Social media has a stigma about everything being fine and wonderful 24/7 It really is time to start trying to break that barrier down and show people that it isnt good 24/7 and it is OKAY to talk about your feelings with people. Great video. I hope everything keeps looking up for you.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
It is SO important for you to talk about how you feel. It is VERY important to make sure that you are living your life for YOU! Life's too short to stand by and let people take advantage of you.
Good for you and your new, going to improve mental health! I'm happy for you!
I am so proud of you! I know that was very hard for you I could see the pain on your face. I was glad to see you had someone by your side. I hope she is a positive person in your life. You need that right now. Stay strong and live your best life. You did what was best for you and believe it or not it is probably best for your father too. Now he has to get off his ass and do something. If he ends up on the street so be it. He has no one to blame but himself. Good luck Josh
I'm honestly so happy that I came across these videos cause I thought I was the only one with no family & a similar story, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! I don't feel so alone anymore.....
It is definitely a sad tale. Jeezus, this stuff is driving me crazy.
Nope..I'm here too. Not to quite as severe but yeah.
@@robertgale3383 the fuck does that have to do with anything?
@@SouthValleyKnifeCo Right? Also, the way that guy just immediately blamed Trump for his life problems was disgusting.
Your not alone. I’m back with my family but things will never be the same. I’ll always know I’m expendable.
I think there is a nice quote that sums up your life situations (and incidentally, mine as well):
*“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”*
Entitled & delusional people are everywhere. They could be your parents, your friends, your SO. You just need to be able to take a step back and see them for what they are when sh*t hits the fan- obstacles to happiness that need to be removed. Drastic mentality, I know; but it's gonna save years of your life if you're a trully empathetic person that has been dealt a rough hand of people around you.
slovenija gang
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You win the comments section for sure 🏆 who’s quote is this?
@@bexrayspex tldr: it's been first claimed freud, gibson, or later even winterburn- but there is no evidence in freud's writing of this quote, gibson said he retweeted it from winterburn, who claimed he said it first, but his tweet is preceeded by 16 months by a woman named Debbie Hope, owner of the Twitter handle @debihope.
so to tell you the truth...
who really knows? =)
@@k3rc4 😂
WOW, you have a huge heart, and I feel for you so badly. Wish you the very best of luck and love in the future. Hugs from Norway ❤️
I can relate. Thank you for posting. All the best
Remind me of old friends I cut off back in the day. I remember the day I cut all ties and just sat in my car thinking I have literally no friends.
Best decision of my life. Made new, better friends who weren't thieves, criminals, and mentally weak.
Good on you Christopher. You did the right thing.
Awesome! Good for you!🙏💜🙏
Awesome!
It's hard to believe you turned out to be such a hard working, intelligent, good hearted, honest person with such loser parents.
How did that happen?
I'm so sorry for you....life is difficult at times...you definitely did the right thing.
Please keep going, and please feel good about yourself.
Amazing that he is this good of a person for sure . I would trust this guy 100 percent . I ended up split from my family as well and worried how I would react when my father passed. Sadly it did not affect me much .
Because when u go through stuff like he did, something breaks in u, it does make u think at the end what can u do as a Person, to not be such a fuck up as your parents, and how to better yourself for other People around u. Its a strugle from day to day because u don't ever forget this family drama and the only thing u can do is to be good to other People and yourself.
At least thats how i combat my bad experiences...
Some raised by a “troubled” parent grow up to mimic the parent’s behavior. Others grow up having recognized & suffered from the toxicity & are determined to take a different path. You sound like the latter. Hang tough. You did what needed to be done...for both of you.
You do realize he is only portraying this for money from TH-cam.. LOL
Rikki, I wondered the same thing. It's amazing that Josh seems so mature & even keeled.
Thank you for speaking out man. It isnt easy dealing with toxic family members. Im glad I stumbled upon your channel, even though the experience isnt the best, knowing that someone out there feels the same and did something about it gives me hope.
Tough love on the family takes a lot of guts. Good for you.
Josh's dad lost a car
Josh lost an illusion
One of these hurts much more than the other.
One of these just hurts, while the other blossoms into a more fulfilling life.
you know your parents are going to blame the HR lady for this. just saying, don't fall for that.
But I'm happy that the HR lady was next to him for support because he definitely need it. You can feel his stress and emotions even now, in this video.
@@elenabob4953 Yeah! Thought the same! Glad to see he got some proper support right there, they better get married or I'ma fly over there and make them. :D
Yep
Actually the HR Lady gave him the courage to do so. After this move he won't feel lonely. But I hope that he isn't emotionally dependent on her, because she would have a lot of control over him.
They are going to blame anything that sticks. PANIC MODE ENABLED
You are so kind hearted and I believe you when you say it deeply hurt you to do that. Because it’s not you, you didn’t want to reach this point, they didn’t give you the choice, after all you have been supporting them for 5 long years. I am all the way with you.
Just take some time off from them. Create your own family bubble... but first of all, forgive yourself because you shouldn’t feel any guilt, they should, and love yourself, give yourself the attention and love you need. Bless you all the way from France.
Love all your videos dood, I really value you being so real
this man is perpetually posting the saddest shit ive ever seen
It's life. Not this fake shit on the net. Good things happen but not very often.
@@Anarchizer So you're saying this is 'fake shit on the net'?
Nah, shit like this happens in clumps. You realize a romantic relationship is toxic, and once you realize the nature of toxicity you can see it where you couldnt before, like in family
@@Screeeeeeee So you're saying you cant read good?
@@RK-gv7rc bruh he didnt say that he said reread the comment so it gets clear
In my family I'm not allowed to talk about anything in the past which means no closure, I've been disowned for 7years now. It gets easier but never feels right but you'll get through...
I think that’s common when your raised in a Narcissistic household.
You're right, it us helpful for you to speak about this online, its helpful for people going through something similar. I'm sure it gives people strength.
I just discovered these videos and I'm so sorry you went through all that. You seem to be a very strong person for being able to stand up for yourself in the way that you did.
It's very difficult to cut people off, and even though I don't know you, I'm proud of you/impressed.
I haven't seen any of your recent videos yet, but I hope this hasn't held you back and you feel better now.
Hi Josh,
I fell into depression when I lost my job (1.5 years ago)
I buried myself, ignored mail, cutoff my friends
Luckily my family (ma, pa, grandma, uncle) broke through to me.
I didn't get homeless thanks to them and now I am working again.
Lucky for me
I've cried watching this
but you did the right thing
You have removed yourself from a bad situation and you broke the circle.
I envy your strength and can only say:
You are a good man.
All the best to you
Stay safe
Did the depression end with time? The brain confuses me. I hope Elon figures out a way to end depression with his mods.
I had to do the same thing. I had to cut off my entire family. I had to get away from a toxic situation. And the good news is, that God has really blessed me and made up for anything that I may have missed out on. Don’t be in love with the idea of the perfect family. Don’t let that blind you to reality of a toxic reality. God bless you Josh for putting this out there for everybody, you’re going to help a lot of people. You are not in this alone, we are with you, and we support you! It’s really hard in the beginning. But, then you’ll start to realize that you suddenly are a lot happier day in and day out. Do it. I hate to see you suffer!! They don’t deserve you, and you deserve better!!
I think you have been amazing to try and accommodate them for as long as you have. They have used and abused you to a degree that is inexcusable. It is healthy for you to share so you can be supported through this extremely difficult time and I feel it is very generous for you to share your experience so that others can see your strength and glean the will to stick up for themselves in ways they may need. You are so smart, I am impressed with your honesty and I think your ambition is off the chart. You are a great human and others could really learn from you. Good job Josh. I wish many blessings for your future.
100% agree its importiant to tell these types of stories. Can’t imagine how difficult this is, and telling your story will help others in similar situations. Good on you for standing your ground! Keep it up!
This could have been my father. Man used to ask me for my paycheck when I was a waitress at Dennys when I was 16. "To help the family.". He stopped working when I was 8. Fully able bodied - mooched off my mother till she became ill and they divorced. When I turned 17 - I left - and didn't speak or see him again in 17 years. I was 34. Found out he lived in cars for at least half of the 17 years I was gone. The other half, he couch surfed and lived in the basement of friends and family. I didn't shed a tear - I just felt I dodged a bullet. Another "God is going to judge you for this" asshole.
My brother was also the "rent payer" - until he ditched him too. Started speaking to my father at age 34. The second time I met at at age 34 - he asked me to buy him a house. I straight up said, "NO". To his face. In the last 7 years, he has never asked me for anything else ever again.
He still speaks to me. And I don't search for him. Lives in elderly housing. And he has never entered my home, because I know what can of worms that would open. He speaks to me, fine. He doesn't speak to me, good. The time for owing each other anything is over. I went through a childhood of poverty because of him. I say that makes us even.
EDIT: Be very, very, very careful of other family members, pulling you in "with good cheer". I got pulled into meeting my father at age 34 by my aunt and cousins, when I wasnt interested. About a year later I figured out why. Because my father had been living with them, and they were looking for someone to pawn him off on. It's NOT genuine. They either don't want to be tapped into being the next "cash cow" - or they have been the cash cows for a long time - and they have decided that it is now YOUR TURN. I've cut off my extended family too - because of it
Being raised by that many narcissist's.. I feel for you. I was raised by a mother like that. It affects your relationships, bc you usually choose someone like you parents bc you didn't get what you needed from them and being conditioned to abuse you are vulnerable to predators " other narcissist"
I am so sorry you went through this but I am so glad you had the strength to walk away from those who are hurting you. Thank you for sharing your story because you’re helping people who are going through the same, or similar situations. There’s no shame in sharing publicly and there’s no shame in getting counseling if needed either. I wish you much happiness in this new chapter of life! 🙏❤️
Thanks for sharing...I am going through something very similar...keep strong and stick to your guns.
I’d rather watch a TH-camr who shows not just the good but the bad, can’t deal or follow posers, it takes a lot of courage to say this stuff. keep up the work!
They’re yust mad because you aren’t paying their way. Period.
You.
Are.
Right.
More power to ya.
Sorry you're going/went through all of this.
I am so proud of you! You are helping so many people in similar situations. You will heal by sharing and processing. I will pray for your healing. Please see your physician regarding the traumatic stress you are going through to see if they can provide assistance. You will have a bright future when this is over. 🌈
Isn’t talking about things cathartic? Your channel, talk about what ever the hell you want! People watching can make their own decision to not watch if they don’t agree.
These few videos especially have come at the very same time for me. I have been contemplating the same thing for very very similar reasons. I’m just a subscriber who enjoys your content. Thanks for being real!
damn cathartic that's a big word
People are so needy, if the content doesn't align with their tastes or views they could choose not to watch it but instead bitch and whine like a bunch of preschoolers fighting over the toybox.
Innocent it’s one of the only big ones I know! 😆
Foxino exactly! They should just simmer down and move along!
It's why people make such a big deal of stuff like "coming out of the closet", you've finally realized something, come to accept it and talking about it helps reinforce your choice to move forward taking the weight off your shoulders. Not that he's gay lol.
good to see HR lady is with you during that emotional struggle, keep being good to her!
im happy for you both
Always talk about what's going on in your life cuz if you don't you hold it in and we'll eat you up inside. Thank you for sharing your story I'm going through a similar situation with my family and it's devastating and I don't have anybody to talk talk to you about it and it's literally eating me up inside. If it wasn't for people like you who share stuff on here I would think I'm completely alone and the only person going through this hell so validation is really important sometimes and talking helps. Thank you again
I actually appreciate that your sharing this ... because I experience so much heartache when it comes to my family as well. So thank you for sharing!!
Josh: "I'm not saying that they're criminals."
Josh's sister: "Please cash this blank check that doesn't belong to me."
Josh's dad: "Let me pay this electric bill with this credit card that isn't mine."
Also Josh's sister: "I'm just gonna crash my brother's car and flee the scene."
Lolol
Sounds like a criminal to me
@@JoshuaFluke1 Why aren't they on Social Security Insurance(SSI) they BOTH are of age to get it that's like a minimum of like 1.5k combined at the LOWEST amount. Like if they can ask YOU now's the time to get what's their's from the government they worked in the past and put money INTO SSI and even if it wasn't alot EVERY America GETS SSI if you got a Social Security Number. You get SSI at 65-67 they are BOTH in there mid 70s and IF there is a REAL mental or physical REASON they CAN NOT WORK get it diagnosed through a disability doctor and they can get SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY INSURANCE/INCOME TOO. So two revenue streams up to four depending on each parent.
@@F00LSG0LD215 Joshua's parents are not in their mid seventies. His father is not even sixty yet.
Josh ..... I think we are related.... lol
Every predator, every oppressor, every person who has agency over you is going to tell you to keep it private because that is a way to maintain control. Stay confident, stay strong and do what's best for you.
This video was so helpful. Thank you so much.
Keep on following your heart, Josh! 🙏💖🙏
This is exactly the type of content that is worth watching, youtube has always been full of fakers especially in the "software engineer youtuber" community. Thanks for getting into the gritty details about what life is like, I feel like so many people can learn from your experiences.
I agree!
On keeping this situation private, I feel like what's going on with your family does actually tie directly into your other content. It's like a unified theme of "don't let people take advantage of you and maintain boundaries". It doesn't matter if it's a corporation, or a romantic relationship or your family.
Edit: So... I mean, it's not really different from the other stuff on your channel at it's core, so why keep it private?
The ability to draw similarities between situations is a widely undervalued skill.
For example, simplifying something that is very complex. I actually did this the other day with my GF. We were talking about quantum tunneling which she isn't remotely familiar with. The analogy I used was a bunch of kids standing in a single file line, as the lines get closer together, children are bound to hop from line to line by mistake.
She understood instantly. This skill is missing in a lot of our teachers and it's a shame.
Awesome insight
Hella good point there Queas
I keep my private life private... because I have a good private life. I love my family and friends, and we respect and care about each other. If I had toxic relationships I would not hesitate to discuss it openly. In fact, I have. I have had toxic relationships which I have been very open to discuss.
Yeah but there is no retrospection because the shit is on-going and he's clearly emotional about it so I get the vibes that it's not right.
As hard as it was, you did the right thing. Hope all is going well now.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability! Exposure of what is wrong and no longer tolerate it.
Josh: If you disrespect me, your dead to me
Godfather music starts playing in the background
His parents’ behavior goes waaaay beyond disrespect. They don’t even respect themselves! Narcissism is a good descriptor of their behavior, and that never changes. You just have to walk away.
People who steal from their children and children who steal from their parents shouldn't lecture others about Christian behavior. "Thou shall not steal" applies to them too.
Absolutely true.
People shouldn't lecture people about Christian behavior
After watching one video of yours, Joshua, I joined your membership. I love how real you are. Keep on doing it. You deserve it!
You completely have my support respect admiration and grandmotherly love. Subscribed. You are recognizing the poison of your family, the narcissistic parent is monumental. You are a good person.