Narcissistic Fathers
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ค. 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Father's day is for fathers who have earned respect. Not every man who has "fathered" a child deserves this.
Amen sister!
Absolutely th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
I once saw a bumper sticker that said, “not every ejaculation deserves a name” 😂😂
@Black Weirdo well they can both live guilt a pro abandonment way of life...
Spot on!
Narcissistic fathers can be very envious and jealous of their child. They compare themselves to the child and rather than wanting the best for them like a normal parent, they want the worst. Sometimes it may seem as though they are doing something in the child's best interest, but it is only for their false image. Narcissistic fathers do not care about their children, they only care about supply.
I love your channel!!
I’ve seen this many times 😢 when their child excels at something the narcissist approves because it makes them look good but they also resent their child and causes them to pick on them and put them down. It is so confusing for the child because they worked so hard for their parents love and approval and the more successful the child is the more the narcissistic parent resents them.
Is it just me who watched them tubble into their bedroom, fist fighting wrecking everything? 😠
Y E S
Narc Survivor be speaking facts !
I didn't realize my dad was a narcissist until I was in my 20's. I cannot begin to tell you how much this has affected every area of my life. Social isolation, depression fatigue, low self esteem, self doubt, the list goes on and on. Cognitive dissonance is so real. Some narcissists will tell you they love you, then verbally abuse you seconds later. Everything he said was an insult, demeaning, critical, cruel. It creates so much confusion in the mind. My mom was an enabler, she would always tell me my dad loved me and he didn't mean what he said. Growing up with this dynamic can really screw up your life.
😢exactly
With you here, I understand your story. My goodness & yet grateful to have found this information & understanding in my 20s.
You are your own beautiful hero. I hope you are well today 💛✨️🌻
Lots of love. The unconditional worldly kind.
Same here.
They don’t give a damn about their children. Period !!
Fact
I can really believe me.
Actully they do...they give a lot of damn.and shit...
Most of them do.. especially the over protective ones & I h8 it
I know my dad cares but he has so much deep hurts and dosent know how to love .
The damage that a Narcissistic father does is huge, but if you manage to put it into perspective, you are a winner. Remember to break that damaging cycle!
REAL TALK , RIGHT. THERE.😉
Today is a time for healing for many! th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
I've gone no contact for 5 years and counting touch wood
John Bobb I find “no contact “ so incredibly difficult as I still love family dearly and I think that each day is a day out of our precious lives. We are on this earth for such a short time. It’s such a damaging condition and I feel sorry for the Narcissist, as damaging as they are, because many seem to live in such an unhappy and twisted world and spend a lot of time premeditating their cruelty and spite. If they could get help, the damage could be stopped or at least curtailed. I haven’t succeeded yet- no amount of kindness nor love. I think I’ve had to change my expectations, but not my values!
Black Weirdo No but I look back at their lives and possible causes and try and realise the reasons. I change my expectations and am learning to set boundaries.
I just texted with three brothers and wished them a happy father's day. They did not follow my dad's way of fatherhood, thankfully.
Thank god for that! My ex covert narc’s Dad is also a narc, whereas his Mum is a codependent. She is very kind and caring, shame his son didn’t take after her.
My dad-CHEATER..sneering-critical JOY SUCKER,. A cheater hypocrite..!
You were lucky the scapegoat does not have the support of their siblings. Even if the family members say they love you, its a lie.
Why dont you rather teach woman who had narsistic father's how to deal and heal from it and what to watch out for before telling them thy will marry a narcissist husband?
@@Belinda. both of my sisters married narcissists, including myself. When I was going through my divorce one sister was already divorced from her very vicious ex narc. That was ten years ago. My other sister just recently divorced her narcissist (20 year marriage). She has the family support and still she was sucked in very badly. She is the reason I watch these videos on the regular. I have had friends seduced as well and was there to show them to pay close attention to red flags and all the signs of narcissistic behavior.
My Dad is a narcissists..I still called him to say happy fathers day and that I love him... He did great taking care of me from a medical standpoint (I was a premature baby) and coaching me in every sport... But was verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive to me when I didn't do as he wanted... I always said it would be easier if he was just evil the whole time it wouldn't be as confusing...
I can relate. It's easier to hate than be conflicted by your feelings towards them.
I feel you... its like you don't want to be ungrateful but then you tell yourself those are things parents are SUPPOSED to do.
Yes! This confusion led me to being extremely insecure and anxious during most of my life
Same situation here
You expressed it so well. I have the same problem. A father who is taking care in so many various ways yet so narcissistic, insensitive, self-centered and emotionally abusive. Adding to that my father is old and ailing. I am so torn between taking care of myself and taking care of him. I feel so many feelings - anger, guilt, sadness, fear, confusion. I feel myself second , third guessing myself for every tiny decision. How do I love myself and love him at the same time?
"If you have a narcissistic father and you're a daughter, it's all but a setup, that you are going to find a narcissistic partner" 100% hit home.
I was always more academically advanced than my brother at a young age... my dad basically treated me like his son... so... lucky me? Yeah not really lol. But I so far have avoided this narcisstic partner thing.
I mean this isn’t always the case bc some women r lucky enough to identify these patterns but it’s a far too common pattern for my liking
Yes
I'm still glad I wasn't a boy. My Dad would have broken me with his attention.
Plot twist I became a narcissist like my father and keep getting into relationships with codependents..
Father is a hero to his children,but narc father is a villain.
They think they're a hero though. In their own twisted Fantasy world
So sad. th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
The best narcissistic father can make recognised appologies for their shortcomings.. even though they might not be able to make any further amends by changing their ways.
And they vilify those they victimize
@@johnoblong7066👍😲 it's their sticky little piece of insurance to avoid any payback in the account for doing so.
Narcissistic father's try to live their lives through their children.
, often but treat them like stuffed toys.
Yep
and destroy their individuality in the process.
TRULY
Bingo! I've always had that feeling, thanks for sharing
I ate lovely food on fathers day! Since I’m the one who parented myself, figured I should celebrate and love myself on this day, and be grateful and acknowledge this
I love this. I will do this from next year.. .
I ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Great idea 💡 ❤
I wrote this lyric back in 2018 after I had recovered from a lifetime of feeling not good enough:
I spent my teenage years trying to prove my dad wrong
I spent my 20's trying to prove myself right
I've spent the last few years trying to learn to stop proving myself
I'll spend the rest of my life enjoying that I have nothing to prove
Thanks for the informative videos as always, Dr. Ramani.
I love that lyric ❤
I'm going to celebrate father's day by commemorating the beautiful two years of no contact that have been the most growth oriented two years of my life.
Yay Hannah! 🏆
Congrats! That is a good idea!
Happy for you! :)
That's great! Happy for you! My first no contact Father's Day - feels good not to send the obligatory card or make the obligatory phone call - I don't remember when it started but as some point doing those things just felt like a lie.
@@user-rc2qh4bc5d - Same here (no contact for 6 years now). Ugh, those obligatory cards/calls. The pit in my stomach. The self loathing for being so phony. Then the guilt (that was drilled into me from early childhood) of never being enough, can't do enough, etc. Finally starting to heal. Hope you are too.
I broke off all contact with my father the last two years of his life. When my sister called to say he was near death, I said I would only go back after he died. I was actually happy at his funeral. Some of my friends said I would regret cutting him off. It has now been >10 years since he died. I still have no regrets. I am happy he is dead.
When my father dies I will not organize a funeral for him. If someone else does I will not attend. I have no doubts about this. I will not cover up the truth of what kind of person he was.
I wish my dad dies too ! Im extremly tired of the damage he caused me and my mom , i do feel you and i know how people keep saying that they are our fathers and we should be nice to them .. well they cant understand the severe pain unless they go through the same thing . Well sweetheart enjoy your life and make sure you live in the best possible way
George H I feel you on this. Mine assumed room temperature about 9 years ago and I haven’t mossed him for a minute. I hope that you have a peaceful life now.
George... I completely can relate😔 My narcissistic Dad died in January, prior to that I hadn't talk to him for over 2 years. He had a son( the child he always wanted. He never wanted me) He absolutely adored my baby brother. When he died, I was more angry. I never felt bad for cutting him off , I was mad because he treated me like a stranger. I was happy that I was free from that side of my family. They treated me very bad. At 37 years old, I have deep Daddy issues😔 And now my daughter is going through the exact same thing with her Dad. Smh. I hate Father's Day. But , shout out to the good Dads.....
Some resolutions are only met by time 🙏
I'm an only child of 2 narcissistic parents. For most of my life, I felt really alone because there wasn't anyone to turn to for help. They both created this lie surrounding me as a child saying I was a bad kid, but never took responsibility for how they shaped me; did they forget that they were the ones who raised the "bad" kid?! That lie turned both sides of my family against me, as a child, and no one even thought to look at the truth, that they were blaming a child for their projections of blame, shame and guilt, among other things.
Now I celebrate all holidays with the peace and comfort of knowing it wasn't my fault, and I have now chosen the life I want, instead of the life I was programmed for, and I'm incredibly proud of that.
Feel no guilt or shame as a child they controlled your world. I get it all the family say you will never amount to anything. This excuses them from reaching out and guiding you on the correct path. Its like they cast a spell so no one in the family cares about you.
I was told a Leppard never changes its spots too
I grew up with my narcissistic dad, aunt, and grandma in a 2 bedroom apartment, so I feel you.
Amazing girl! So proud of you! Many blessings to you!
one is good enough to make your life hell. and you got 2 😔
Feel for you, fuck them whatever they are saying live your Life and know your Worth.
I suffered PTSD because my father.
He used to force me and siblings join his family 'time'. I can no longer join any meeting because the trauma haunt me. The tables turn, anger spoke, throw phones, broken tv. I remember clearly the scene.
Sending my love to those who suffered the same trauma as me 🌼
My dad was the exact same. He called those times 'Sunday Family Meetings'. They started during breakfast and everyone was stuck there until early evening.
Yeah I won’t be celebrating Father’s Day because mine was and still is an absolute a**. But I wish all the wonderful fathers a happy Father’s Day
Same
Same
I hate him so much
Agree
same 😔
"If you're a daughter who had a narcissistic father you will find a narcissistic partner." Yup
Truer words have not been spoken!
Story of my life.
Yes!!! Repeatedly. Not anymore though!!!
@@jcsrst Unfortunately i must tell when you will find a right guy who isn't narcissist you will lose interest and go back to a narcissist man
Colleen Mayes,so true, been there and ran!
It’s so overwhelming learning that my father is a narcissist. It makes my childhood and my adult relationship with my father make so much sense. I feel like I’m starting to mourn the image of the father I thought I had by focusing on those golden moments and ignoring the verbal abuse. I am watching myself try to justify him and convince myself that it wasn’t as bad as I think and I’m overreacting.
Same
My dear, my dad is like that and after series of therapy and failed relationships and trying to convince him to see how his behaviour affects us, I've finally given up as he will never change and find excuses or blame everyone else. Seek peace and let go dear.
I just want to say, it's not your fault. It's only normal that you would want to give your family the benefit of the doubt. Still, you didn't deserve what happened to you.
My father’s a covert narcissist, my mother is a codependent. I was the “golden child” and the prize I took with me into adulthood was Borderline Personality Disorder. I have to thank my mother that I just barely didn’t become a narcissist myself... but I wish she would’ve taken my brother and I away from him..
Damn. And that's what I'm afraid of when my daughter becomes older. Will she hate me for not leaving..or sooner...will she hate me if we do split? I see the things he says and does and we often get in verbal arguments over it. And then...love bombs. I never understood what was going on and the gaslighting had me so confused. Now that he knows and I know he knows I'm ready to move on, he starts to "change." But I know it's only a matter of time. And I know there is really no change. It's been 11 years. And I'm scared.
@@rosemariekindred1325 You have to leave. Now. Narcissistic abuse doesn't stop, narcissists don't heal. Your child will endure further damage for sure if you stay. Leave, now.
@@AT-zr9tv I am scared. And I don't have everything in place to be sufficient enough to take care of her on my own. But I'm working on it. Trying to be prepared and ready for the worst.
@@rosemariekindred1325being the son if a narcisist father and a codependent mother, I can tell you for sure he is never going to change. I was begging my mother to take us away from him since I was 11 years old, but she was always too scared and too weak to live on her own. My brother is dead now, he died in a road kill and I am on antidepressant medication struggling to keep my sanity. My parents are still together. My mother has lost a part of her mind due to the constant gaslighting of my father and he is on the final stages of kidney failure and constant dialysis cause he never listened to anybody and always did what he wanted without thinking about consequences. I have done psychotherapy, it has helped. I don t hate them anymore as I used to, but I ron t feel sorry for them either. If you want the rest of your life to be good for you and your child, the best thing you can do is leave and tell him to get some therapy. Maybe after many years of therapy, he can be a decent human being. You don t deserve to suffer until this happens if it ever does.
Same here
My husband is a great dad!!! My father wasn’t capable of loving me in the way I deserved, but my daughter has a wondrous male role model.
I'm happy to hear your story makes me feel positive. Thank you for sharing
I love reading this.
My husband was an involved parent when my daughter was young. When she became old enough to call him on his inconsistent behavior and question his lies, it was then that he became invalidating and hurtful. He went from adoring his daughter to shaming her. She has been in therapy for over a year and I've discovered how much damage was caused by her witnessing the maltreatment towards me. Its easy for a narcissist to be a happy parent when their child behaves in a way that supports their false image.
Hi!! Im curious as to if you had to go through any prior relationships that weren't as invalidating, since I'm going through this stage and im not too sure if I could actually find a healthy relationship
Dinorah Darby that’s my situation as well
since i’m still underage and living with my father we’re celebrating. because he provides food and shelter and all that he thinks that he’s the perfect dad. but he has no idea that he’s traumatized me over and over :( edit: thank you everyone for the well wishes!! i’ll be going to college this time next year so hopefully things will work out
He's too self absorbed sugar, best of luck!
Same here mate . I will hopefully get out of this house in 2 years . Thank good lord
You have the advantage because you know how he is and you can block the damage he intentionally or unintentionally tries to do. Know that none of his behavior is your fault! I know it hurts but you have the upper hand because you know who and what your dad is. Do not internalize your fathers behavior! Learn and grow from the experience and be the best version of yourself! When you get older get therapy for yourself if you can. A therapist will help you work through the trauma and help you to see that none of it is your fault! 💕 Rise above, you can do it!
My dad, same way. Excellent provider. Deeply cruel. And that was when I was the "golden child." The golden child, however, becomes someone the narcissistic father has to destroy, once an adult. So I've been scapegoated and have suffered gaslighting my entire adult life. I finally ended my relationship with my entire family after Xmas last year. The only one who truly understands is an in-law who experienced what I did and was astounded by how twisted my "family" of origin truly was. I'm so grateful they are no longer able to hoover and repeat the cycle. Dr. Ramani's youtube content has been transformative, for me. And yes: one narcissistic, cruel boyfriend after another.
Ana sometimes they dont know any better.....they have not tools...perhaps he is doing what was done to him....maybe tell him what is bothering u ....he may try to change...if u feel he cares it may be possible..hug
My narcissistic father passed away and I experienced great relief when he did. My narcissistic mom has been married to a narcissistic man who has tried to re-father me and it really has caused additional harm. I hate Father's day. I usually try to escape but I acknowledge the men I know who are good Father's and celebrate them
I only realized recently (in my 30s) how having a narc father has affected my life profoundly.
Same here
Shit blows hard. I'm finally realizing at 35!
Is your guys father still alive and sane? Reason asking, if I may ask if you can have a conversation with him n try to call him on his bs that he put your whole family thru your entire life and can neutralize it and obliterate it with one convo, would you guys have that convo?
@@ethansanchez1320 I called my dad out on his BS twice in 7 years. I finally had to walk away from my family.
I’m still having AHA moments looking back on situations.
My Narc father tried to destroy me, but I am awakened and strong by myself, and working towards healing from a life of abuse. It can be done. Look at your children and love them. Use the pain to grow.
Well said, leave their past problems to whom it belongs, them and the past! Go growth, strenght and rock on!
yo frs my dad tried to destroy me like wtf
My Dad wont stop. I'm 41, he's 62, he's a murderous narcopathic child abuser with a cradle-to-the-grave plan & grip.
Congrats! th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
@John Narayan They might as well hit the wall when you decide to slam on the breaks. That's when you just keep on driving.
It's better to be ignored sometimes like a grammatical spelling mistake. Who could be made any better?
This was painful but educational to watch.
I suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, Anxiety and Depression.
I send lots of love to anyone who went through all this ❤
💗
💜
Aww hugs! th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
💕
I suffer from disassociation as well...along with anxiety, ptsd and depression...this is the aftermath of narc parents. Its like a rite of passage.
Narcissistic dad, and every major relationship in my life has been with narcissist men. It took me 47 years to realize this negative pattern. And now, I keep finding these men, even though I'm aware. So I'm not in any relationship. But I'm happy in my life without the drama.
Years ago I once tried writing a love song, and I'm no lyricist, but all I could muster after an hour was something along the lines of "Why do I always keep falling in love with tortured souls....is it because I'm one too..." and it all makes sense now. I've been single for most of my life. I just can't tolerate any more wasting yeeeaaaarrrrs of literally wasting my precious time and energy on more narcissists when I can easily manage without them. The energies are all off between me and the other person and I always lose out. Saying this though...the relationships don't last long because I just feel that it's at a dead end before I literally end it cos there's only so much one-sided compromising and sobbing alone one can tolerate. When I'm single I have so much clarity, confidence, dynamism, creativity, and all the things which come to us very easily when we're not being narc'ed out to the hilt. Keep on going 🙂💖🌈
@@CrOwnSphMinX22 being single is way better than being with a narc! I am pretty happy with my life these days. Life is good.
I think my ex is a younger version of my dad they both Virgos their birthdays are 3 days of each other and not to mention I think my dad has narc tendencies which got worse now he’s older and my ex saw it when he was around and it’s like he became jus like him or we he always a narc as well idk and don’t wanna find out I left his ass no contact 3 days and it feels good
My dad babied me and spoiled me to the core he woulda did anything for me and still do the tendencies are what really hurt and for my ex to see it and act the same way is jus evil
Me too
Grew up with a narcissistic father, I’m 20 now and I just now realized who he really is. He provided on material level, but he was never there as a father. Never came to any athletic events, graduations, dosent remember birthdays but gets offended if I don’t say anything to him on his birthday. Conversations almost always revolve around him, if he starts a conversation asking about you, he has a hidden agenda. I grew up watching him rage thinking he was just an aggressive person and that the only way to maintain peace was to just agree. This caused me to develop symptoms of anxiety early on that I didn’t even recognize as anxiety until a few months ago. He tells me he loves me but lately it seems like it’s only when I’m doing what he perceives as right. Sometimes I question if maybe I’m overthinking things and he’s just high on the narcissism scale but not full blown NPD. He is obviously depressed and unhappy with anything, and often times try’s venting to me, at first I was glad he talking to me, but things got dark and he was telling me stories with small details changed in attempt to manipulate me. I want to help him and will always love him because he is my father but I don’t know what to do anymore
You will know what to do when the sh*t finally hits the fan and you've emotionally had enough because if he's telling lies when you're duped into thinking you're having a meaningful much yearned-for parent/child conversation, it's hard to imagine when he will be totally honest with you. Some people just can't give genuine love because of their own past. Why not ask him straight out, "What's the worst thing you've ever suffered in your life?" because some men hold in childhood sexual abuse and haven't had counselling, thinking that no-one would want to know about it anyway after so much time has passed...and the damage is rotting inside them for years...women too. This may not be the case but it's the realest short conversation you're going to have to get some straightforward reply out of him one way or the other, and he may even tell you what it was if it wasn't that, but something else troubling him deep inside. As long as you feel safe asking, if he's not the type to kick off in a rage, what do you have to lose? I often think this could be the issue with men (and women) who aren't very nice with their children, because of what I went through after rape by a so-called 'trusted' person at age 19/20 and the incident locked away in my brain for years, causing untold anguish, suffering and suicidal depression and fear of everything and hypervigilant until something triggered the memory. You will only take so much but as always, for all of us....it ain't over til it's over . Sending hope, positivity and strength to you with big hugs 😔🙏🏽💓🌈
Same story with my life
this was too relatable. i hope you find your peace.
Sooooooo relatable!!!!!!
So much relatable except for the last lines. You are telling my story
I think my turning point was when male friends of mine started families as we all got older. The differences in their behaviour towards their children compared to my experiences are like night and day. It is and continues to be eye-opening.
Yeah
That has been my experience too. When I was married, or when I spent any time with other families, I realized I was robbed of a loving childhood that built me up, rather than tore me apart from narcissistic abuse.
To everyone who has replied; I'm so sorry that you went through the things you did. Whether you were child or adult you do not deserve to be treated badly. When my parents divorced (after his infidelity) my Mum said that the best revenge is living well. I hope you guys are living well without contact and remember, none of it was our fault. We were just conned into believing it was by a man with mental illness and a lack of compassion.
Yeah... its like you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what else is wrong with you or how much you were damaged
@John Narayan True..they NEVER accept responsibility...most loving fathers will let their children win at something in childhood so they can win at life...not narc dads though... sometimes I feel cheated that me being the least favoured child did his burial and last rites... and I'm not even the eldest. Whatever decision you make tell yourself it was the best decision at that point in time of your growth.
My father is a narcissist. Him and I don’t get along at all. I hate this day because I usually don’t get anything for him anymore because of all his mistakes he made and all these tactics that he uses on me. It is so painful and triggering to me.
Ya you're not alone! Sorry for your troubles!
My father is the same and i swear to god i will kick his as s one day
Emily same with me & my father he even hacks my computer & stalks my social media and turns friends & family & neighbors against me .
Happy narcissist APPRECIATION day.
I'm sorry you have to go through all that.
@@craig3714 oh been there done that, I don't have any traceable social media, but my dad and my brother will still go on Zillow to peep my apartment and complain about how bad I am with money and spending on rent. My dad actually threatened to spy on me to see if I was really living alone. i have set very strong boundaries, the only contact is by email and I will send cards for holidays which both my parents complain about the wording, like Hallmark is supposed to cater better to my parents egos.
While I had a narcassistic dad, & I am still emotionally limited, I watch, in great pleasure, how my sons are tremendous parents & are well loved by both their spouses & children. Nothing in my life gives me more pleasure than that.
I really hope to have that one day. Not sure if I’ll ever get past this, but one can dream.
you broke the karmic cycle, well done! :)
My father got his children alone and would say horrible things, but later in life I discovered he did the same to some of my siblings. For two siblings, it’s too painful for them to admit the horrible treatment we received. Throwing anything he could get his hands on was a typical behavior. Getting pushed into the water and being held down is a typical memory. Thankfully, we had a few angels in the neighborhood that looked out for us.
Mate, I’m so sorry you had the bad luck to have such an awful human as your parent.
I’m currently disowned so there’s no pressure for me to participate
My dad tried so many times to disown me. It’s the only time my mom put her foot down with him and won. Sometimes I wish she hadn’t but I appreciate that she finally stood up to him.
Lucky you! Disowned is an excellent word choice since narcissists really do think they own you. Happy Freedom Day!🤗
Lucky you
I just got "disowned" as well. It's wonderfully freeing yet discouraging at the same time, isn't it?!
@@fittobeafarmmom3504 It really is, and look what they miss. We stumble around trying to put ourselves back together and in the process become beautiful, whole people in spite of everything. But, in the end the Narcissists are really the losers. Thank God my mother was all the things my father couldn't ever be.
Thank you. Father’s Day is a difficult one for me. Mine is selfish with narcissistic traits. Glad I live far away with very minimal contact.
LEARN TO BREAK THE CYCLE
my narc dad died May 26...I was no contact for 5 years and had been wavering and just re-engaged with my brother a few weeks before and he didn't even tell me dad was dying, cause "dad was adamant you not be told"...more pain upon pain...to this day, I never heard from my brother and wouldn't even know my dad was dead if a friend of my son's didn't see it posted on facebook through my brother's wall...family is so hard
I spent mine having an intensely stressful conversation with my father. I feel like he hears literal static/white noise when I communicate with him.
I felt this
@Aura Darkskipper I cut mine off too
@Aura Darkskipper acceptance is useful. Acknowledging a circumstance is less than ideal is important for closure- with or without the other party ever hearing what you want to say.
Hello baby I feel completely like you
Mine has an unenthused tone until he can talk about himself again
Great idea re celebrating the stable parent. My father sexually, physically and emotionally abused me. I reported to police and he went to prison. Spent years in recovery since!!!
Sorry for your pain sugar, hope he's enjoying his much deserved lock-up! My covert mom is finally in lock up too, she's been committed, I helped even though hundreds of miles away and not visited in 45 months! Cops/social worker finally did a section 10 on her, I'd called adult services 6 months prior to no avail. There should be a word for people whom we knew were always nuts but it took everyone else so long to see! Blessings!
Good for you! Both for turning him in, and for getting the help you need to deal with it emotionally. 💕
They'll want to send you to hell eternally if you fail to give them the supply they need. 🙏
Josee Noel thanks. These people wow. To add to my story. My “remorseful “ father the day before his custodial sentence got his little legs of to the solicitor and cut me out of the will( my family cut me back in) He died with motor neurone disease in dec 2018. No tears shed at a sparsely attended funeral
Sorry you went through that, I am glad you reported him to the police.
The more I learn about the effects of (adverse) childhood experiences and narcissism in general the more I understand why I didn't want to leave my grandparents when I was visiting them in my earlier years...
I wondered why I never wanted to leave my Grandparents house, I should have told them about the abuse or teachers, teachers would have understood the reason for my problems in school then.
Sometimes co-dependant parents aren't any better than the narcissist themselves. They keep quiet when you deal with the rage and abuse from the narcissist.
I had a narcissistic father and my mother thanks me all the time for supporting her and calling out his behaviour every time I saw it. I told her she needed to divorce him and that he was unhealthy for her long before I was 18 and she did divorce him. I thank her for being a great mom who showed me that I was valued and made me feel amazing enough that I never felt the narcissistic behaviour of my dad was my fault. Powerful women supporting each other! Father’s Day is Mother’s Day in my book (just like every other day!)
I was in middle school when I told my mother there was something seriously wrong with my father. I don't remember my words but but I remember her looking at me and realizing there was nothing she could say to change my mind. She was smart enough not to try to do so.
Happy Father's Day for every Narssistic Fathers who successfully ruined their child's mind.
He did mine
Sandeep S is that correct to say that he ruined child's mind? Because he have gave you everything he had and he might refuse you and, I don't know, leave you on the street. I don't know, I'm not sure, but even if parents are narcissistic they fed you and done stuff like that and that is something. They didn't have more themselves.
Саша Беленко you’re on the right track! That’s a very balanced view of the situation, coincidentally I came across this video, and it sounds to me like you’re applying the principles described in it: th-cam.com/video/wCEpFQu3QLg/w-d-xo.html
I think you will benefit as much as I have from this video: th-cam.com/video/wCEpFQu3QLg/w-d-xo.html
@@user-wf2tv4jl6h @ Cawa It seems you do not understand Narcississim. Listen a lot more.
The best Father's Days I've had have been after my narcissist father died. Its actually a relief to no longer have to navigate that day.
I hear you, I don’t have to pretend anymore, such a relief 😊
My father has been a narcissist his whole life. At an early age, he recognized we shared none of the same interests. He recently told me he knew when I was just a toddler, that he didn’t like me or care about me because of that! He is now 78 and still continues to a life of complete misery. It’s always someone else’s fault, never accepts responsibility for his own actions or behavior. He also recently said he still doesn’t believe in considering others when he wants or does something, it’s just not important.
I now know he is intellectually and emotionally developmentally delayed, as he has been his whole life. He can barely read and barely has reading comprehension. I understand his ability to comprehend much is very limited at best.
Now, none of us acknowledge Fathers Day. No reason to, he has never acknowledged any the rest of us in this family, ever! We are sadly, just waiting for him to die, then at last we can be in peace.
We share the same father, he is 72 still having temper tantrums could not have a grown up conversation with a disagreement if someone paid him..he is sooooo miserable he had a child out of marriage He never claimed the child now he is my age 47 and my dad is still lying about it my mother finally divorced him not because of the child but the lies my mother saw the DNA test and child support payments and my dad told her the courts hate black men..he is so toxic I try to love him but it’s so hard he is so controlling and a big liar
I spent father's day with my stepfather, a wonderful man who deserves to be called my father, not the person who 'fathered' me, because he has pretty much been absent all my life. Self absorbed and selfish man
Dear Dr. Ramani, today is a day that I’m going to celebrate you! If it wasn’t for the educational rehabilitation that you have indirectly given me, today would have been a day of mourning, depression, and self blame for not dropping dead, which is the ONLY way I would be able to win over the acceptance of Mommy Dearest and Step Dad. I actually did disable my Facebook account yesterday. I really appreciate your having said that being the daughter of a narcissistic father sets you up for being attracted to narcissistic men. It removes the intensity of the self blame and shame. I’m spending today alone with my dog, just like I do every other day. Thank you again for all of the amazing videos which you have selflessly shared with the public. You are a National and International treasure. I hope you realize what a difference you are making in the lives of countless people! Sending you many blessings!
I messaged my siblings telling them I love them. That’s how I’m celebrating father’s day.
That is so sweet! I love that 😊
Family scapegoats don't have genuine sibling support, it's false, as soon as you start truth telling, thier toxicity comes out.
@@kr1221E
Stop projecting
I love Dr. Ramani’s insights. She is so validating. I regret I didn’t find her sooner. I wasted a lot of money on counsellors who were not familiar with the narcissistic personality. Thank you Dr. Armani! You are the best. God bless you !
Dr “Armani” Ramani …..lol🙏👍🏻❤️
Thank the Lord for her ….one in a million!!!!
My narcissist dad put me in therapy at age 17 when we lost my brother in a motor vehicle accident. Truthfully, I was hurting, but my brother’s death didn’t even scratch the surface. I was suffering from a lifetime of abuse as the scapegoat child. My brother had been the golden child. So my father became ten times worse once his favorite son was gone. I believe my father was angry that it wasn’t me instead. He was irritated that I wasn’t the person he wanted me to be. He probably thought a therapist could “fix” me, when I was actually a pretty resilient kid. I didn’t need anything but someone who understood and would listen. I didn’t do drugs or alcohol, and I was never in any trouble. Pawning me off on a therapist was probably my father’s way of alleviating guilt or responsibility, so he didn’t have to deal with anything. I never told the therapist any of this, because I was too young and didn’t understand the whole dynamic at the time. I only told him how abusive my father was to me. But this therapist dismissed it. To this day, I still wonder if the guy actually knew who my father was, but wouldn’t dare say it. Because he would’ve lost a paying customer. I know this is a horrible way to think. But I wonder how often that happens? How many social workers won’t confront a narcissist parent for fear of losing business?? Or maybe he was just really inept at his job and was fooled by my dad? He did attend one or two sessions on his best behavior.
Happy Father's Day ❤
It's still N O C O N T A C T though
Exactly! th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
Yup 👍🙏🌞 same here
@@survivornomad9892 I got you
Same here but no emoticons. I don’t want him to think that I’m open to talking to him on the phone.
@@MsLiLi0728 ❤
I’m a hoop jumping, people pleasing, not good enough fool. But we did not put much importance on this holiday growing up, so I’m not triggered. Self care on big commercial holidays is so important, though. I’d love to see more about that subject on days like these. Thank you!
Funny you should mention not much importance being put on this holiday, I had a narcissistic mother and father so my mother was never going to make too big a day of father's day, she wasn't going to give him too much.
@@marycross6206 I always thanked my father on Father's Day, for anything he had, could or would do to make it a proper union.
HI! Nice to meet you. I am a spoiled princess, who is useless, fat (sometimes also too skinny if I loose weight) and disappointing according to my dad.
But whatever, that are lies.
We also didn't put much importance on this holiday when I was a child. My father was always a bit frustrated that we wouldn't wish him a Happy Fatherday, but when my brother and I were teenagers we said to our father what we think of him and that he never was a real father to us. Since then Fathersday never was a topic in our family again.
My dad is a covert narcissist. He was entitled, like a tiny child who couldn't do anything for himself. He expected me to literally take care of him and give him all the power and the credit. He was abusive physically, and I'm talking about in my adult life. It was so horrible and horrifying but I never acted scared. That just seemed to make him even more angry. My father has single handedly ruined my entire life. I refuse to date anyone because every single relationship I've ever had has been a total nightmare, and now I just want to cut my entire family off, as I'm the oldest child and I am tired of being pretty much the sacrifice for the family. My mother is married to my stepfather who is also a narcissist and it carries over to her children too. I am so sick of being used by family at my own expense. Mother minimalizes everything and has no idea of what it's been like having to carry the burden and having absolutely nothing to show for 39 years of life. This is so, so devastating. Debilitating. As victims we need to do the work and break the cycles.
Don’t convince your inner self that one day you’ll end up with a narcissistic partner! Try to get rid of the “programs” that the narcissistic parents puts you in ... and after all we are aware of it, we can easily spot one 🌻🍄🌸
Thank you for this. My father trafficked me as a child and I've been crying alll night and this morning about the pain he has caused. Emotional, physical, sexual spiritual abuse. I feel so worthless after I came forward he looked at me like he never seen me in his life.
Poor you hon, what a cruel poor excuse for a man he is ..... You are beautiful, move on!
@@joseenoel8093 thank you so very much. This is actually the first time I sobbed on this day. I feel a lot better and I thank you for your kind sweet words.soo much❤❤❤❤❤
I am sending you Love and warmth today. I wish you healing and health. You are worthy . XOXO !!!!
Keep looking at healing videos. I like Cindy Trimm and others th-cam.com/video/AjqbG3E8LwM/w-d-xo.html
I'm so sorry for your experience and pain.
Am in no contact with my father since past 2 yrs....had enough after all these years of abuse
I'm uncomfortable sharing my family experiences within the comments and to a public audience.
But I did want to take the time to thank you for all your videos, especially this one.
Between my therapist and your videos, I've really woke up beyond my comfort and have started to separate from the toxic people in my life.
Thanks again.
My dad is a narcissist but thankfully I didn't ever had a narc boyfriend.. I had a narc best friend and I think it helped me to realize what's going on.
My father passes away in 2003. He was a wonderful dad. My mom was the Narcissist from hell. She passed away in March. I did not shed a tear.
Converts still alive (she's in detox onto long term care, soon) but very much dead to me, I'll need to clean out her house in a bit, I'll bring home as little as possible.
@@joseenoel8093 My mom was a Covert Narcissist. My Evil sister is a Malignant Narcissist with Grandiose tendencies. My sister was cut out of my life 2000 to 2010 then for good in 2015.
I think the hardest part of my mom's funeral is nobody could come up with one good thing to say about her. One of her old ministers tried to make a joke about her telling him how to do his job, but it was hard to appreciate a joke like that thanks to cptsd. I get his message was one of inclusion, but the scars are real.
Man I’ve been anxious all morning about calling and just came across this before the call. Thank you so much.
So, did you end up calling?? Im curious. I felt the same all day yesterday......I came across this today. I didnt call, and im nervous as all of hell.
Just don’t do it if you don’t want to :)
This is the first Father’s Day out of 35 that I have acknowledged my father was a narcissist. Up until recently I didn’t even know he was abusive. I jus thought he was cold strict emotionally distant critical and jus an asshole. Since that is all I ever knew and I had a nurturing mother I thought I had a wonderful childhood wit great parents. I never understood then why am I so screwed up and all my romantic relationships have been abusive? I became enmeshed wit my dad at a very young age and learned jus to stay out of his way cause he seemed to always be in a bad mood (of course unless he was around his friends or strangers he was happy-go-lucky) It wasn’t until before he passed away in 2016 I had a brief conversation wit him where I shared for the first time how things where goin in my life and opened up to him about my feelings at the time. He jus listened for once..didn’t try to lecture or criticize me..I wish I could have a relationship wit him again knowing now what I know and having the emotional toughness I have as an adult. I know he loved us to the best of his ability wit having no love for himself and from his family of origin..very sad story I didn’t even realize I was a part of something so tragic.
I wish my mother was still alive - She did everything she could to compensate for the imbalance created in my family by my narcissistic father. Now I only have my ungrateful father to have yelling matches with over the phone.
My father passed away in 2016 after enduring Parkinson's Disease. There was no satisfying closure, nor any apology from him--I didn't expect any. We managed a sort of truce. We were basically civil during my visits to the nursing home. It has been a matter of acceptance and moving on ever since his death. Fathers Day is now, just another day to remind me to live more fully and authentically.
I hope you get the best life that your deserve ! Enjoy
Same with me but it was Alzheimer's. Nope, no closure. I didn't expect any as it was obvious to me by middle school he had serious mental health issues.
Year 3 of no contact. Haven’t looked back since!
congrats! im trying not to contact my narc dad as well.
16 years no contact for me! :) I went no contact 2 years before reporting him to the police. He was sentenced to 11 years in prison for sexual, physical and mental abuse. He is in his seventies now, I saw him the other day and he looks like a pitiful old man with a walking stick.... back in the day he was tall and strong... he is now a shadow of his former self. I was thinking of contacting him again, but recently decided that it is not worth it, because he will only manipulate me and cause more drama in my life. Its a shame, because I would love him to meet his grandson. My son has missed out on a grandad and father, because his dad is a narcissist. I have since learnt my lesson and only attract nice/genuine men now. I can spot a narcissist a mile off and run the other way, they no longer hold any attraction for me because now I know that I deserve better!
My dad starts acting up about a week or two before the big day.
It never fails. Any day around “them” is to be self destructed.
Always on some bullshit I swear tired
They always on Bullshit for no Reason thats what they want and once you loose Control its ,,Ohh Look she a crazy Chick‘‘ what dumbasses really.
@@lalanotmyname5046 it's a manipulation what the do and guilt trip you and put you down so they can feel better about them selves, they will they pride themselves so much they think they are never wrong and always right. But in reality are miserable and insecure deep down the best thing to do is start working and get out of there ASAP they literally suck the life out of you very very toxic
@@alejandroramos3206 True step by step definitely gonna move out inshallah. Yeah thats their Tactics.
Can you make a video please for the daughters of narcissists ? How can they deal with this tough situation , how can they manage to heal and be cured after it ends ...and most importantly how should they avoid ending up with a narcissit partner as you have explained that daughters of narcissits tend to love and fall for narcissists as well . Please hit like so that dr Ramani sees the comment and makes the video . Thanks in advance !
Merioum if you search Doctor Ramani's videos with the keyword ''narcissist parents' or 'family roles in narcissist families' or 'narcissist fathers' or 'narcissist fathers of daughters' you'll be able to listen to her explain all about this.
I don’t have a relationship with my narc dad, but I still wished him a happy Father’s Day today on Facebook.
Very kind of you, now that's over with!
Why?
I'd also like to know why if you don't mind answering?
That's huge! th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
Vanessa because he is a full-blown narcissist and I gave him a narcissistic injury years ago. He can’t bring himself to forgive me nor look inside himself to self-reflect on his mistakes. He doesn’t see anything wrong with himself and he plays the victim. He does not attempt to have a relationship with me, nor does he validate my feelings. I accepted that this isn’t a healthy person and we cannot have a healthy relationship with mutual respect and effort. I have no reason to chase after a person who does not value me nor can show genuine love and concern for me, even after I attempted to make amends. He isn’t a safe person for me so I healed those wounds, and decided to move on and be happy with myself. God is my Father.
I don't celebrate Father's Day. My real father is dead to me after all the physical and mental abuse he out me through for decades.
My long suffering mother is still married to my narcissistic stepdad. We come from an old world culture that made it too difficult for her to leave. So I send my step dad gifts and play nice, purely because it makes him easier for my mom to live with for a while, as he basks in all the social attention. But I never, ever get him a card that tells him what a great dad he is, I'm not that much of a liar.
my therapist recommended youre videos and i am so glad she did. i was 12 when my empath mother passed away and my brother and i were left in the care of our narcissistic father, i became the scapegoat and he the golden child who went on to become a narcissist as well and i have always felt so painfully alone - being an empath like my mother in a house of narcissists really has a way of messing with your core beliefs. thank you Dr Ramani for your videos, they really are eyeopening
Bless you for this video. I’m struggling really bad with a narcissistic father. And my moms been dealing it for 33 years. I don’t know how she does it. I’m looking to transfer colleges and to make sure he doesn’t know where I am.
Blessings to you and your mom. th-cam.com/video/Ooj5uhtGW4A/w-d-xo.html
Survivor Nomad thank you ❤️ for your support. I appreciate it
Your poor mother, is there any way that you can help her leave the situation? Being in a negative relationship all that time can really take a toll on someones health. I threw my father out of the family home when I was 20 years old. I stood up to him after he beat me up, I gave him two weeks to find somewhere else to live, or I would call the police and tell them everything. What he is doing to your mother is against the law. I wish my mother could have got out of it sooner... after he left she died prematurely because of all the stress and spent the last ten years of her life in constant physical pain, without ever experiencing a man who showed her love. :(
Blessings hunny
Yess run away from there . my dad wants me to be like him but I'm running as soon as I graduate
My father was a kind man. He taught me to play baseball at age 3 and told me to ignore the boys that gave me a hard time because they were jealous of my talent. That rule still applies today. He did ignore my narcissistic mother using me as a scapegoat so for that he was sad on his deathbed. I wish this information was around back then. Thank you Dr R! Happy solstice 💐
Have a lovely eclipse/solstice week BW! 🌻
You mean he never really knew about her?
For him to be honest about it might have denied him his relationship with you.
I had a huge cathargic cry last night . It’s definitely a trigger to me.
What a great way to reframe thinking about Fathers Day. Instead of wallowing in sorrow about the loss of that unconditional love and acceptance I will focus on the other fathers in my life, ie: husband, son in law who are wonderful fathers.
I want to make sure my kids who are 18,19 and 20 aren’t negatively impacted by their covert narcissist dad who is financially very responsible and paying 70% for their college .
Your kids are lucky for the post secondary education, it's not something which automatically happens and it's extremely important.
Be careful with that. My ex husbands dad, who was a narc, stopped paying his tuition and left him with a huge balance to pay, because he felt he wanted to teach his son a lesson because my ex stood up to him and changed his major and the dad didn’t like it. Hopefully this doesn’t happen to your kids but know that it’s within a narc dad to do that. Have a plan A, B and C for your kids education expenses, just incase!
my dad is malignant and my mom is borderline, they actually ran around the neighborhood and went to all my relatives lying about paying for my education.
Please be very careful!! My narc parents said they would pay for my tuition and that any loans I took would be repaid with them as authorized payers. When I graduated, I moved home briefly and they actually stole my mail from the loan company so that I wouldn't see that nothing was being paid.
By an absolute miracle, I paid just on time. The week I went no-contact and contacted my loan company to make sure payments were being made, they were past due. Had I not paid my overdue balance immediately, I'd have received a penalty 200 point drop in my credit score due to non-payment by my parents. They did this on purpose because they wanted me to be so ruined in my credit that I couldn't move out, and would essentially be their live-in servant.
Make sure your kids:
1) have no loans in their name (a credit check can show any existing loans)
2) if they do have loans in their name, ask them if they'd be willing to let you monitor their accounts OR ask them to periodically monitor their account to make sure payments are being made
3) you may want to consider putting some emergency savings aside over the next few years, to help your kids if their dad decides to stop supporting them and you want to give them some money to help them pay the loans off faster, or buy them some time if they don't make enough money in their job yet and are still searching for higher paying work.
Good luck!!
Be very careful because these types of people often use money to manipulate even their own children...like if you start to distance yourself a bit because you understand their bullshit or call them out for it, they might stop giving financial support
Spot on again. Thx Dr. Ramani. 1st year not calling, texting, cards, etc on Father's Day. He ignored my 50th Birthday in December & Mother's Day this year as well. Not even going to what he did to my daughter. 1st FD in my life I have not called or done something. He doesn't deserve ANYTHING from me. Hard, but necessary. Great reminders, thank you🤗❤️💗
Sometimes my didn’t father visit for a year or two even though he didn’t live far. He moved to another country and we didn’t know because he couldn’t find us to tell us after we were 18 and no longer lived in the same home. He didn’t even know where I went to high school. Now he’s on my FB and has a daughter 30 years younger. I always forget about Father’s Day because I never really felt I had one. I avoid wishing him happy Father’s Day although I have a few times online. It feels very strange calling him “Dad”. He actually tried to basically blame my brother and I for him barely being in our lives. He is one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met.
The older I get, the more I hate my narcissistic father. He made my life miserable and it was all for his own selfish desires. My father felt he deserved to live a luxurious lifestyle. He couldn’t do that on his own so he expected me, his son, as an adult to supply the wealth so he could live that way. Since I was in grade school he made it very clear that was my mission in life.
One time when I was 10 years old, he came home from work really angry. He pulled me in front of him, interrogating me, demanding to know what was my plan to have a high paying job and what was I doing to work towards it. My answers didn’t satisfy him so he hook punched me across the face.
Throughout my childhood and young adult life, my father was constantly berating me, shaming me if it didn’t look like I was firmly on that track of achieving high wealth 24/7/365. Even now in his later years of life, my father has never given up on that fantasy that he can still live that luxurious lifestyle. His favorite book is still “The Great Gatsby” for Christ sake.
They are his issues, not yours. I hope you are doing okay. Sending much love and comforting thoughts to you 🙏🏽💗💖✨☮🌈
I'm celebrating to the max. No contact with my NPD ex husband 2 years and we, my sons and I, are soooooo happy
You guys rock, glad you're sssooo happy 😊, it's what they aim to remove!
@@joseenoel8093 yes, true.
Right from the very start.
I JUST was thinking of this! GOD BLESS! I like that YOU are opening up the platform so others that know Daddy aint that NICE can feel OK acknowledging it!
Sentimental daddies that just as might beat them with sticks.
When I was always tired of being deeply bruised.
Does the day ever come?
Thank you for this. Trying to raise a son while having NPD is like crossing a psychological mine field. Well, every time I watch one of your videos it makes the path to safety clearer. Thank you, Dr Ramani! Here's to not passing down psychological heirlooms!
That lipstick is gorgeous on you Dr Ramani. The so called father thought that being authoritative was his role, when he wasn't beating the hell out of me for trivial reasons. Soooo glad I don't deal with either of them. Ty doc
I was blessed with a fantastic father. He just turned 70 last week and he and my mom are still together over 40 years. But I've dated women who I believe had narcissistic fathers and I think it had a negative effect on how they relate with men.
Yes, I have a narc dad and I agree with this. I have a strong distrust and discomfort with men. I also tend to think that all men are guilty until proven innocent which is a completely inappropriate and unacceptable way of thinking. Sadly there are genuinely good men out there that are written off because of our experience with a narc father. Honestly it is going to take lots of unlearning on our part and a good therapist who knows about narcissistic relationships.
It's beautiful how elderly couples still have time to share with each other.
I wish you the best of Parents Day 🙏
Relationships are with friends who share purpose and reasoning.
Good advice. I still want take the time to acknowledge the narc because many times their 'narcissistic birth' arose from multiple traumas. Sometimes the saying,' You cant do better if you dont know better' rings true. Its sad to me that they will never know better because that part of their rationale has been damaged. I dont excuse what they do . Its just sad they dont have the capacity to change. I wish their was a 'cure'
My father is a narcissist. I'm really high in agreeableness and openness and moderately high in neuroticism, so I did everything I could as a kid/adolescent/early adult to gain his acceptance.
At 19 I started getting panic attacks. Now, 11 years later, I'm grateful that I went through having panic attacks in a weird way. Looking back, I could see some of my behaviors mirroring my narcissistic father. Having panic attacks allowed me to change a lot of my core beliefs. Now, at 30, I have a loving relationship with my fiance, I can help my mom who still suffers from the abuse my father put her through, and I'm helping my sister to understand what actually happened to us as kids and why she ends up with guys who treat her the same way my father treated us.
It hasn't been easy at all. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, but luckily I can funnel it into music and I have developed the mental tools to quiet my mind and fill myself with a sense of strength rather than fear and panic.
Your videos helped me out a lot. Thank you!
I had both narcissistic parents, my father was unsentimental, superficial, fixated on approval and appearence, unpredictable, unreliable. No one ever trusted me when I would talk about how my parents truly are. I always had partners with no much empathy and the last one was a true narcissist and even very physically similar to my father. I searched a substitutive paternal figure among other relatives but my maternal uncle is a narc too, luckily I have my maternal grandparents who have been the parents I needed.
Diffucult day for me with a Narcissist father I had to stop talking to 20 something years ago. Holidays were tragedy day with him, making life hell for everyone, beating up people including his own mom in a wheelchair.
Geez, what a monster 👹! Glad you got away!
Severely intelligent outlook, sorry to hear about things in your case.
I'm about to meet my so called 'narcissistic great grandfather in-law'.
After meeting most of his family first I'll be giving him some benefit of doubt.
I think that's why they might not wish for me to meet him. Supposing the problem is too far gone... life only appears shortest just as its about to end. 🙏
Robert Boyle give him the benefit but do not let him treat you like garbage just because he is family. We should not take abuse just cause we are related. Sadly if someone is toxic even family we must put our peace and safety first.
Yup. Sounds familiar
Dr. Ramani, you're a brilliant woman with a gift to heal with your words of truth, love, and wisdom. Cheers to you, my lady, and keep on bringing these messages that so many out there need.
I no longer feel badly about not reaching out! I know who he is and he is terrible. Took a long time to get here. I felt great today.... and so should you!
woof. You used the term jumping through hoops. That's exactly how I felt growing up and I used that phrase often. Thank you for helping me validate myself and my experience.
They're morons!
I wish I was as mentally sound, solid, and unbreakable like you. You elude a sense of power and stability.
I’m a 47 year old man that continues to suffer from a narcissistic Father. I have tried so hard to keep the peace with in my family. I am always trying to make things work in my family. I find that I’m always forgiving him. He recently had a major operation and I thought this could be an opportunity to change. God I was so wrong. I went to check in with my Dad and he started “ do you remember this you cost me $200 “ and then went on to say “ do you remember the work you did down the the road, that was no good either” I knew at this stage it was time for me too leave. The next few days are always difficult I have been sick suffering from a migraine and major stomach issues. I have made the decision to stay away from him and focus on my own family. I’m the the father of a 6 year old girl. She is a blessing to us. I don’t take this decision lightly to stay away but I owe it to my wife and daughter ❤❤ I’m tired of being told that I’m not good enough by him
I really needed this video, specially bc my country is under strict quarantine rules right now and I still live with my parents. Being stuck with my father all day in makes the situation worse everyday so i've been dreading this year's fathers day more than ever but this video helped me feel better. Thank you, you are the best!!!
and to all the other people who are still stuck with narcissists at home be strong 💗 know you are not alone and hopefully things will get better
Why do some men (ex: athletes/rock stars) delight in impregnating as many women as possible yet refuse any accountability in supporting the baby mama & child financially/emotionally?
Society gives them a pass. Toxic masculinity/femininity all of it. Why be attracted to those types of people knowing they are toxic?
They are not capable of taking accountability and they simply do not care.
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They'll never care unless it benefits them press wise.
Immature, they've got to be, they play for a living...
These women want to be with them. Nobody forces them to be impregnated by them. They made a choice. Accountability goes both ways.
It's said narcissists fail to recognise their own shortfalls, accountability issues. 🙏
Or they were failures to their own success...
Father’s Day makes me *uncomfortable* wooop hahaha My fathers best claim to fame in regards to my childhood is when he pretended I didn’t exist for over 9 months after it came out I had attempted suicide. Didn’t speak to me, didn’t look at me, didn’t acknowledge me in any way shape or form. Took everything I owned and told me I was a failure and an embarrassment. He’s a lot of fun.
He's horrible, you deserve so much more! Hope you're managing, what a creep!
Josee Noel thanks :) ye he’s a prick, I’m doin okay. We all have our issues.
Your dad was projecting how he feels about himself onto you. Narcs NEVER take accountability for their behaviors. Seems to me he didn't want to face his own demons of being an embarrassment and a failure at fatherhood. My apologies that you had to deal with that. Glad you're here to speak your story! 🙏🏿🖤 God Bless you😊🌻
I don’t know you, but I’m praying for you to keep healing and to be set free from all the garbage. I’m doing the same for me. Sending you love ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I was told I’ve been nothing but an embarrassment too. I get it!
I thank my mother every day for making me the person I am today.
I cried through all of this. Thank you for spreading awareness.
Yes! What a drop. Thank you!
My Dad was and amazing man and wonderful father! I was disappointed and shocked to find not all men were like this. My husband of over 33 years was a horrible narcissistic man. I left him over 2 years ago and my children and I have never talked to him again. He is a tragidy to himself! My children are grown so not my problem!
I've avoided any celebration of Father's Day. I am NC. It's been a long, crappy day! I'm about to go to sleep and try to forget this day.
This video was so completely validating. I feel seen for the first time ever. Thank you Dr. Ramani for putting words to the life that I have lived for 22 years.
HAPPY NARCISSIST APPRECIATION DAY EVERYONE!
Both sets of parents were narcissistic (adopted and biological)
Father neglectful immature and ignorant, now I have a partner the same....
It's deeply frustrating to want to evolve but they don't.
I was also adopted and find myself in a similar situation. Hoping you find comfort, peace, and self love in the coming days.
I had two sets of narcissistic parents as well. What are the odds. Blessings to you
Blessings to you all