A man can work hard and succeed for decades. But when he goes through hard times...and loses..all those decades vanish. His value is based on what he produces & acquires...and then.maintains.
@@MrGchiasson You are absolutely right, I'm in a 20 year marriage, was the provider all that time, have my house paid off, put her through nursing school.,. I had my leg amputated here recently and now she hits me with a divorce. Now that I'm not providing at the time I'm worthless to her.
@@betonavarro8467 that's the way it is we are here to protect and provide. It's a shame but that's how it's always been. We work ourselves to a early grave and that's it.
@@betonavarro8467 I am so sorry to hear that! I pray you recover and get good prosthetic leg & physical therapy. This is a divorce & ungrateful betrayal. This story is why men said "To hell with it" and go out own way.
I used to call my dad. In 1999, he died at the age of 80. Tomorrow I'll be 68 and though I'm happily married, I don't even tell my wife when I'm that low. She doesn't need to know because she has plenty of her own problems and I'm one of them and I'm reminded often. Don't get me wrong. She treats me great. She's awesome. She cares about what I eat. She wants me to live. But when I'm low there's no way I'm going to burden her with what I'm low about because when she is angry at me, she will use it against me.
@@KLP99 you sir, are a true man, keeping your emotions for purely selfless reasons. Though I would suggest someone you could talk to so as to not burden your wife, he a carpenter. 😏
I'm a barber...own my barbershop...I listen to each of my male clients very, very carefully...not every man still has a Dad or close male friend to reach out to...and I will always listen to them very, very carefully...ALWAYS
This is why every man needs an old-school barber. One that still uses a straight razor and strap. One that knows his job is more than a “shave and a haircut.” 🍻 to all the real barbers in this world!
I love how alot of women scream at the top of their lungs "Men are toxic, hyper masculine, monsters who aren't able to feel or express emotions." And yet when they do encounter one who DOES express their feelings these same women are usually the first to dump him for being "Weak".
you haven't met too many women then. almost all women i know, including me, knew they were in love when the man cried (happiness, or sadness) besides, how much of womens romance books and movies etc aimed at women show romantic, emotional men? almost all of them. and what do tv shows, movies, etc aimed for men, show? stone cold, gun shooting, matcho men who don't even notice when they get shot, and women are only there to be sex objects and something to save.
Here’s the REAL reality… people care A LOT. When we ask what’s wrong, we ask because we really want to know because we CARE. It’s your EGO that keeps you quiet because you don’t want to appear weak if you admitted you were struggling on the inside but rather to (yet again) admit to that truth, you once again shift the blame onto everyone else so you can escape accountability and remain in the victim hood mentally. And THAT is what really makes you actually weak. That’s reality. Now I literally have no one that cares yet when I’m at my lowest, I call my therapist because I can admit when I’m struggling and I’m not afraid to do something about it. There is ALWAYS someone you can call. A friend, family, stranger on a helpline, a therapist.. there is always someone to call. You have chosen not to call anyone. You’re the only one that doesn’t give a ____ about you so you do nothing for yourself. Give a ____ and make that call.
Kevin Samuels (very entertaining and has HIS OWN WAY) but he and his teachings, his words ....they are lonely unGodly words! Christ Jesus will lead you to a place you want to be that you never imagined! Kevin, you won't want to hang with him! Never once did he mention Christ! And his (Kevin's) cursing is the pudding, unfortunately. I have PLENTY of brothers to come get me, pick me up when I stumble, show me Love when I'm lonely as humans can get.
One night two years ago I came home after a three hour drive from Natl Guard drill, two hours later had a heart attack, and drove myself to the hospital. The nurse asked if there was anyone I wanted her to call, I said "no thanks, there's no one. The name of the funeral home is in my wallet". Think she wanted to cry. After Hurricane Katrina, I was rescuing people. Later I was told my ex and daughter were calling to see if I was on the dead list so they could come take everything... One woman I rescued called me nasty when I lit a cigarette back in the boat.
Life lessons: Don't ever tell a woman the truth, Don't ever tell them what you are thinking and don't ever tell them when you are down or most vulnerable. Because all these things they will label you as weak.
so true. As soon as you tell a woman a mistake or something personal (my experience) they use it against you and remind you of it often. Experience with girlfriends and 2 wives.
I've experienced this with men though? There's an interesting amount of irony in MEN telling other men "don't talk about your feelings" while also claiming "we have no one to talk to." There are ppl who care. You can't find those ppl if your own fear dictates your level of vulnerability though.
I'm a guy, I started to tear up watching this. I'm a bit older now, 40, and I've only just found a couple guy friends (one my age and one much older) that I share anything with, but still guarded and not too deep. And always shrouded in comedy. I would never share my deeper feelings or vulnerabilities with a single woman I know, they would use it against me eventually, probably publicly. Learned that the hard way from two wives. They don't want to ever hear what you have to say about your own feelings. Not ever! Unless it specifically validates what they want to hear about themselves.
This only happens with toxic people, normal people will never use it against you! I am a girl and have made this experience. Does not stop me from opening up... and I understand I was educated differently, which has created other issues for me that guys do not struggle with as much...
You need couple's therapy if you can't tell your wife you are suffering from stress, anxiety, or depression. That is not healthy. If she doesn't want to get help, then divorce. Do not be enslaved to your marriage. Live in a home, not a prison.
@@unidentified5441 Don't get the wrong idea I'm not depressed or lonely we men just have a comradery that happens naturally. Even if we are having a bad day we don't want to drag the guys down with us so we won't bother them with it that's all.
@@severinevans346 ? So I'm not being a bro by telling you basically your not alone and stay strong and I'm trying to lift your spirit that's all... what ever happened to picking each other up instead of tearing each other down
@@unidentified5441 I appreciate it man I didn't mean any harm just letting people know I'm not depressed and I'm alright. Good looking out though it's rare these days.
Yes... yes I am... daily... Especially if you're a single dad making things work on the daily with no one to back you up... even to talk to... God hears me... so I only talk to him...
This is why us dudes self delect at a rate 4 times higher than women....most of the guy's spaces don't exist anymore, used to be where men went to vent or talk to someone. But those places had to go because they were labeled misogynistic....
I'm 54 and yes, it's life. I've felt this way my entire life, and seeing the young guys here really upsets me for them, but also because I felt that way at their age.
I am 59. I would not want to be a young man these days. As hard as it has been to be a man of my generation, I can't imagine even trying to date in these days. Between false accusations and constantly shifting ideas of what masculinity is and whether you can even be masculine. I would move out to the dessert and become a hermit although, I have kind of taken that route myself.
I didn’t hear that but I’ve said that to people for a while if asked the question or something similar about emotions “I don’t want to give my enemies if I got any another way to attack me”
Yep - it took me 20 years but I finally learned to not share my pain with my wife, especially if its about her in any way. It would always be my fault. Just gotta eat the shit fellas. No way around it.
@@sirferr8902 Yea - its sad but it is what it is. Women can only really love a small percentage of the male population. The rest of us are just garbage they settled for because the top percentile is not available.
It is amazing that even the men that are silent, if an individual pays attention enough and cares enough they can pick up small hints from men that need help.
This is how you know Sarah is genuine. Her face starts to look genuinely worn and hurt for them. It's not some theatrical over the top sympathetic face and it's hard to notice but you can tell it hurts her to see this. Thank you Sarah for caring and for doing so much to help.
This happened to me exactly but she took my son also and disappeared but I'm the piece of crap. NO ONE CARES if you want something in life you fight for it even if your standing alone.
As a mom to a boy, I hope one day he can say I will call my mom or my dad because we will always care. For my husband, he is my life I will also be there for him and have his back. We have been through so much together.
yea, it's not about some mythical "Toxic Masculinity", it's about not giving a single fuck when some guy tried to get some comfort or help, and didn't get it
Not quite. Every time that I did buy into the crap about sharing my feelings it got shamelessly abused and/or turned into a weapon against me. Usually by the female who insisted that I talk about it in the first place.
Not true. My son is a big muscular man, loves women and looks like a biker and pretty much looks and acts like one, but he has no problem sharing his emotions with me. I’m his Mom and I have always told him that there is nothing wrong with crying. He has no problem with crying.
It’s the brutal truth, the second you let your guard down and open up to someone especially these modern women ☕️ who try and encourage you to “show your emotions and feelings” they’re saving it as ammunition later when you do something they don’t like. A lot of these women ☕️ out there just want you to be emotional so when the time comes they know exactly what’s gonna cut you deep
It's a fact. Let your enemies see no weakness. This whole fuckin world is my enemy but I'll show compassion when I can. I let my WIFE know too much about my pain best believe it's been used against me.
This is true. When my wife had cancer, I quit my job to take care of her and our 3 kids. People helped her and brought some meals over. No one ever asked me how I was doing...even after it all. 2 years ago we divorced. My mother regularly checked in and my best friend did a couple of times...he lives in another country. Other than that, no one helped...or checked. Dyri g that there was a month where I would have been homeless if it wasn't for my mother. Even my father didn't help.
I asked my husband this question after watching this. We’ve been together almost 14 years, I honestly thought he would say me. He just shrugged his shoulders and said “I don’t know…. No one I guess” This video and my husbands answer literally broke my heart! And I realized I wasn’t doing enough for him to feel comfortable to come to me when he’s feeling low and needs to talk. I swore to him that I would do better and I would work harder and would do whatever he needs to know that he could always come to me and I would never, NEVER shame him or blow him off. He has been my rock and my safest place to run to for almost 14 years and I never realized he didn’t feel the same…. I’ve been failing my husband in the most important and significant way… but I WILL do better and I WILL be better for him. Thank you for showing this to me! I think a lot of women and wives need to see this and ask their husbands this question and I think ALL women need to do better when it comes to the men in this world! We would be nowhere without them, literally!
I respect your comment. Coming from a man here so please listen. The best thing you can do is be all ears whenever he decides to speak. never ever try to force it out. just listen and more importantly don't try to fix it on your terms. ask how you can help. and he probably will say there's nothing, and that's when you come and say that yourself not being able to help is not an option and you'll go to an early grave trying to take his lowest moments away. trust me he'll appreciate that and it will open up tons of doors for him. also, if at all possible get him a conversation with another man. that may be difficult but only men can understand what men truly feel. your job is support. another man has understanding. You're sympathy other men are empathy. last but not least he'll never want to shower his mental exhaustion on to you. he will die exhausted before he makes you exhausted. his DNA is to keep pushing. men literally go until death. you be strong! act strong! commit to die with him! stand beside him. "Men protect those who stand behind them, respect those who stand beside them, and destroy those who stand in front of them." Choose beside or behind
@@LackToesInTallOrRent Thank you for your words! I have read them carefully and will try my best to follow them. I will try not to push or force him to talk but only make myself available when and if he ever is really to talk. I won’t interrupt and I won’t interfere knowing that I can’t fix him, but I can at least be there for him and just be his wife. The “him talking another man” thing I think is going to be the hardest to be honest! He doesn’t really have many other guy friends, and the few he does, he doesn’t like all that much! This is why I was surprised when he didn’t say he would come me if he needed cause we’ve been each other best friend since we met! We’re basically the only people each other can stand! Lol But I think you’re right and I’ll just give it time and not push anything. Thank you again! God bless xoxo
@@hellie82 The talking to another man part will in fact be the toughest. I know that because me and my wife are in the exact same boat. I have one friend and we've stopped speaking to each other for about 3 years now. When I feel at my lowest(which seems often nowadays) the one thing I wish for is the clock to speed up so dinner, bedtime, and I'll try again the next day. Sad but it literally is a reality. I don't wanna talk your ear off and I'm honored you said you'll take my words into consideration. Just be his solid. All men need help. Whether emotionally, motivationally, or simply appreciation. Take care of yourself and him. Bless
@@LackToesInTallOrRent Ya he’s pretty much the same. The one guy I think he would open up to, is his old best friend but they now live in different parts of the country and haven’t spoken to each other in years. He talks of how he misses him and wishes they were still close, but life gets in the way sadly. Anyway, thank you again for your advice. I do appreciate it greatly and will try my best to follow it. Take care, god bless.
It would be nice if more women thought like you. Fact is most men are a rock and safe place for somebody out there in some way, whether its their wives, girlfriends or kids. And nearly NO MAN gets any respect, recognition or care for it. You are rare.
Once my gf asked me the same question. I really had no answer. Nobody. None. I asked her "What for?". I told her when I'm at my lowest, the most I would do was to go visit my Mom. I still wouldn't talk to her about my problems, but I'd just listen to her for sometime, eat a meal and leave. I was fortunate I had that. But most men don't even have that. My gf couldn't believe that's how men lived. I really feel for the people in the video. It's a sad reality.
Not always my man my mom gave me to my grandparents to raise cuz she didn't have time for me cuz i was not part of the family when she married a new man and they had my brothers...
This is so true. I can listen to there problems for hours, but when I start to try to talk about how I feel, they walk away or change the conversation or try to compare how their problems are worse. Why even try anymore..
That's our story boys. No one cares about us. When we are in it, we just numb it, shut it and go through it until we come out of it without anyone knowing we were going through fire. Stay Strong brothers. Peace ✌🏻
Tata: I respect and understand everything you said cuz I lived it too...almost 70yrs now....we didn't have all the specialized 'help' back then available to us...I was an orphan in the southside of Chicago...in a very abusive home...foster dad worked in a paint factory all day (sniffing paint mixes) and drank whiskey all night...foster mother only collected the checks the government sent for us foster kids...there was 3 of us...and one of us was gonna get a beating practically every weekday night and mostly it was me cuz I was the biggest one...hung by my ankles and beat til he passed out...we boys learned quickly how to pray...the foster mother lost her eyesight and finally God took kevin and demetrius out of that house...I left shortly after to another abusive family in downtown Chicago...I lasted one night...at 9yrs I learned no one was gonna put their hands on me without paying...I told you all this because being 'strong' has its consequences in the long run...I have been by myself most of my life being strong....believe me when you get my age it's a mighty lonely life and wasted life...yes be strong but know not everybody is out to hurt...and honestly the one who got me thus far is God/Jesus Christ...I pray everyone gets know and experience God's amazing love and acceptance for them everyday all day... I will be praying for you and these young men...God really does have good plans for you and everybody...
Evolution taught men that if they acknowledge their weaknesses, it’s an invitation to marauders to attack and kill them, pillage their village, rape the women and enslave their children. This is why men often time don’t go to the doctor when sick. It’s their evolutionarily acquire imperative to project strength. Because during the course of evolution it was the men that protected the women they didn’t need to mask their weaknesses. Women choose to marry strong men and yet they criticize and mock them when they don’t go to the doctor or acknowledge their feelings but frequently divorce them when they do.….Animals who fail to mask their injuries or weakness are food for predators!
Yep, women always find a way to use it against you. Example: if you don't want to be alone then you better pay for everything, raise my four kids from different men, never have sex again, do the laundry, dishes, cook, vacuum, and take out the trash.
@@jacobwaters8459 you ok bro? You raising 4 kids you don't know? There's other fish in the sea that swim on their own without pulling you into the depths. Go swim with someone.
This so incredibly sad to me. Men are important and valuable and they do most definitely matter- so much. It is so shameful that people as a whole have made men feel this way. So very sorry, guys. Not that you would tell me, but I care!
As a man it does break my heart to hear this, This really hits home because I feel the same as all of these guys. We tend to focus on making everybody else happy and forget about ourselves in the process
That's starting to change my oldest son is 36 is just like these men when he has problems he keeps them to his self. I try to call him and give him advice he listens for the most part. He just seldom's calls and he weathers the storm by his self just as I did when I was a young man. Now my youngest son who is about to turn 20 who has already been rocked by this new culture and by some less just say less than desirable females... He is now just focusing on himself he has lost all respect for females he will not sacrifice his self for a gynocentric society that don't care about him whatsoever. This will begin to happen more and more these young males that's coming up will only be concerned about themselves. I can't say I don't blame them . Why sacrifice yourself for a society that doesn't care about you. It's really easy as a male to just take care of yourself. I'm interested in seeing what this all leads to. In the end I think the females will be left out in the cold sure they'll find somebody but it will not be what it could have had been Because the good men are starting to figure out the juice is no longer worth the squeeze....
So true. I’m married and I do not express my personal troubles to anyone as, through prior relationship experience, I am seen as somehow less than a man for having feelings. That’s why guys have to have other friends that are men as they understand that shit.
I hope someone enters your lives who will truly hear your heart and not gaslight you for it, but treat you righteously with unconditional love and respect.
Yes they really don’t care about your emotions and how you feel mentally they’ll find a way to use your emotions against you it breaks my heart that there’s literally a war between all of this
We talk to ourselves in the car while blasting music... end of the day we know there is no one is out there for us .... just move forward and persevere
The answers from those guys hurts like hell to hear because it’s so damn true, I learned early on that as a guy no one gives two shits if you are struggling. You learn real quick to just plow through and do the best you can and you also learn whatever you tell someone can and most likely will be weaponized against you.
That is so Sad. Terrible people have to be like this. I think if 1 guy didn't reach out to me awhile back , he would have committed suicide. We lost touch over the years. He eventually did commit suicide. That was the reason he told me that was still eating him up inside. His brother told me. Sure it was more than that.
I feel that way too and I’m a girl… but I had all my friends turn their backs on me when I stoped being friends with one girl who was awful to me. Everyone took her side and I didn’t do anything. I just decided I didn’t wana be treated like shit and have to beg for her to forgive me when I hadn’t done anything. I had no one for years that I could talk to because my mom would just get upset and think I was guna hurt my self if I got sad and my older sister didn’t know what to do so she would go to mom. I learned to just keep it all to my self. Then I met my bf and started hanging out with my childhood best friend more often(she lived a different life than me so I didn’t always see her when I was in school) if it wasn’t for her and my bf showing me over 10 years that they were here no matter what I realized I wasn’t alone anymore. I was 18 when I started hanging out with my third rock so now I have 3 people I know I can say anything too.
Yee, I’m blessed I always got mom if I need to talk. But only so much you can say to your moms before you just feel like you let her down too. Usually it’s a girl you thought had your back and when that loyalty gets broken, by a RAT, most men fail to find a way to trust again. They deal with their emotions alone cuz too many use it for their own gain if we share.
In a previous relationship I was accused of not communicating and showing enough emotion. A few times I did and was called a pansy, literally, by the same person.
This is why you NEVER listen to women, NEVER take their advice, especially with relationship issues. All these women watching this video, acting like they empathize.... they're the same women who will lose all attraction and respect towards a guy, THE SECOND he shows any emotions. They are literally DISGUSTED by it. And not only that, but they LOVE to use them against you. Tell them what you're sensitive about, and they will use it against you the first quarrel you have, even if it's something messed up, like being sad about a parent who died, or something like that It's one of the major biological reasons that Men control our emotions and don't show them to everyone. It's a defense mechanism..... mostly against WOMEN. So it's pretty funny to see them all pretend to empathize here in these comments/videos
I am a U.S. Marine I've been shot stabbed and been blown off of a building . My wife at the time and I were watching a show showing military men coming home to their kids and families. I thought back to some of my buddies that that didn't make it home and I cried just uncontrollably she laughed at me and called me a pussy. during our divorce process she was laughing about it as she told the judge that story.
@@robertblansett3431 that's messed up man. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Because I know these things stay with you long after you forget everything else
Try actually actually being alone like most maybe possibly acquaintejces are outta state like six states away but all your mates u went to school with family and all is where u are within maybe tops a twenty mile radius but nobody cals u nobody cares bout if ur breathing an ok an shi and I'm fucking twenty years old but were spose to grow up and have such caring family sucj caring friends not people who will use u manipulate u and then just leave u when u get tired of that and atop being the person who they thought u were just cus u were being complacent to just have people round them when u try meet new people all u find is that nobody is different and nobody understands and just wants to be understood
Because women are cute and adorable from birth to death boys up to 12,13 and finally18 to 20 and then thats it female responds to boys hi pitch voices not deep voices as they get older .
Listened to this several times making my eyes water. I grew up alone in family, in life and marriage. The most exhausting time has been 2 former marriages where opening up brought a blank stare of disdain. I used to think it was just me!
32 years married and the moment life got hard for her, she searched her memories and threw out stuff from decades ago just to inflict pain. Seriously ladies, why do you do this!?? Don't you realize it's like death from a million paper cuts? And people wonder why men contemplate suicide during relationship turmoil. If you cause this level of pain in a man's life to the point that he ends it, can you honestly live with knowing that he took his own life because of any involvement you had? Maybe you can, sad to say.
Guy friends will also backstab. Not as a matter of being with you, nor deliberately…. but with guys that I imagined were close friends AND even with my own brother, I found that I could not confide. I tried confiding in my brother a couple times about issues I was having in my marriage, and in each instance literally the next time he and my wife encountered each other he told her those things. Likewise if I confide in Dad, he’ll tell his wife. And she will tell my wife. So the last time I told anyone anything is a couple decades ago.
My soul is still with the fact that I'm not alone in this. Men don't fight because they hate what's in front of them, they fight because they love what's behind them. The good ones don't ask for praise. They don't expect it. All we want is a hug, and to be told we did enough.
yes you are alone. we all are alone individually. thats the way things are and we must deal with it or perish. look at all the guys who’re told to show emotion. once they do no one respects them. females are biologically turned off by emotional men.
I opened up completely to my wife over the 17 years we were married, and she did use it against me throughout that time... And even now. I'm just now learning about what narcissists are, after she's cheated and left me and our boys, and how I was a fool to think I could ever make our relationship work. My lesson though isn't to never trust again, but to find someone who isn't a narcissist, among other things, and marry her, and give her and my boys (and her kids is she has any) the best life that I can.
It's astonishing how heartbreaking this is. It hits quite close to home. Been there too, where you simply sit and think about how to move. But you get there, in the end 🤝 Strength to you all my brothers
No point is crying over something like that, it's always been that way. A wise guy once said " Sometimes you just gotta do what you CAN" , and at this point where the society is what is is today. all you can do is well..... go on with your life. like that guy said "I'm a man, nobody gives a shit"
This really resonated with me, when you’re a man you are so often pushed to one side once you have no worth or reason for being, men have feelings to, but no one really wants to hear you!
It is just me and my 6.yo little girl. I would never tell her my problems. But having her as a responsibility keeps me alive and gives me a reason to be .
My brother called me a few months ago. For the first time in my 49 years. His opening sentence.. "I didn't know who to call. I have no one to talk to". I'm so happy that I could be that person for him. ❤️😐🕊️
First time in 49 years. Damn bro must literally be dying prayers for him because I couldn’t imagine calling. Me and my sister haven’t talked in a year and I wouldn’t call her.
It breaks my heart to watch this as a woman. We say we want everything to be equal but that means everyone should have the same amount to respect to give and get
@@e.l.lifestyles Thank you. I'm sorry if comment seemed cold or harsh, but that's how I was feeling at the time I posted It. It seems we are living in an increasingly anti-male world and it does take a toll.
Didn't have a dad to teach me that so I had to figure it out layer thru pain. I will certainly teach my son this from day one, it's something every man must realize. If you don't fight you don't eat because no one is coming to save you.
...nobody was created for anyone. We're all in this together, but none of us were specifically created for anyone else. Don't minimize women by calling them 'helpers'. Women aren't helpers any more than men are protectors.
This doesn't minimize women at all. I'm speaking scripture and of all creation we are the only ones God made by hand. This is an amazing truth darling.
@@Canthus13 I'm a man and have absolutely no problem saying that I was put here to protect and provide for the women in my life. I would gladly lay down my life to ensure that they would be happy for another day and I've never felt like that wasn't fair or wasn't equal in some way. When I close my eyes and picture myself pulling out chairs and opening doors for the ladies in my life it makes me feel like my humanity is aligned and that things are as they should be. I don't feel inferior to a woman when I take something heavy from their arms and hoist it upon myself so they don't have to, I never feel 'less than' when immediately standing and offering my seat on the bus or train when a woman steps on. The problem with the way you think is that your ideas and opinions were created by people you don't even know who are likely not much older or wiser than the people they project themselves on. To each their own and by no means do I have the right or reason to tell you how to live your life but I just want to remind you that within yourself exist a very simple yet beautifully complex and brilliant guidebook to happiness and fulfillment. When you can understand that all living creatures on earth have a place and purpose and that none are superior or inferior, better or worse because ultimately we are all temporary here and death is the only experience that we will all share equally.
@@Canthus13 oh shut up. Calling women helpers in no way is minimizing or derogatory. The fact that you view helping someone as minimizing is sad. And yes, men and women have different “skill sets” that are meant to compliment each other.
I'm a ma an a full-time solo dad of a 5yo boy we don't need helpers we need less judgment and compassion chances are we will still bottle it up until almost breaking point because we feel we have to try fix the problems ourselves but while trying to overcome the first problem all the following problems flood in on top, I've been lucky to snap out of some dark places just in time I've found myself wondering what I doing 4times now in my life with rope around my neck
@@robertnoble7554 Oh my god. Please tell me I'm getting wooooshed right now. You can not have your foot so far in your mouth, can you? Like what kinda headassery?
I've had my friends and family say "if you need to talk". When I just ask for them to spend some time with me in something I enjoy everyone was suddenly busy. I've been through a lot this year. I've essentially just folded into myself and just keep moving on as I always have because the only person you can depend on is yourself.
I'm 53, I don't talk about my personal problems, only car problems so others can relate to me. Everyone has car problems, but I am the one who fixes car problems. People expect me to listen to or fix their personal problems, they don't like my solutions. I live alone intentionally, I do not date purposefully, as what I have found is other people are the cause of the majority of my stress. Being number 2 of six kids, I was the least favorite and I rarely heard from my parents as I travelled the world in the US military. They went to visit my brother in the Army often, they called him every other day, but I would go years without hearing from them. When I would call they wanted to get off the phone ASAP. I grew up alone in my own family. Wanted a family, had kids, but the ex decided to take them from me and use them to hurt me. She robbed me of being there while they grew up...all while the state made me live on $100 a month for years, as everything I earned went to her or taxes. *This is not written to garner sympathy, compassion, or anything else. THIS IS A WARNING to other men who are much younger than I am. This is what is in store for most of us, accept it and move on.* Before I was even a teenager I stopped caring what others through about me, and I did my thing. Usually having to struggle against people trying to prevent me from doing it. I like to build cars, do art work, and go drag racing. Nothing nefarious in me, but people wanted to harm me, and still want to. I've cut my family out of my life, one daughter still talks to me. When you can handle almost anything, solve almost all of your problems, and do things yourself without input from others, people want to take from you... they rarely give back. LIVE FOR YOU. Do what is best for you. Make good choices, take risks that have a pay off if you succeed, do not take risks with no payoff that can destroy everything you have worked for and built... like getting married. Worst thing I ever did, and I was daft enough to do it twice. Do not make that mistake. Live your life on your terms and plan to die alone, because its no big thing and its what happens to most of us anyway. no need to fear it, accept it, and enjoy the time you have on this mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
Facts man sometimes just having someone with you or willing to take time for you is what we need but if you aren't on the verge of a mental breakdown it's dismissed
This is why guys have buddies and women never figure out why we keep these "Useless Buddies" around or want to hang out with them. I learned I was alone way back in the early 70's and I also learned "No good deed goes unpunished". I've been in this game so long I checked out with no intention of ever going back in the mid 90's. I may have been a slow learner but the lessons were learned. It's amazing it took all these years before we got the Internet and this gorgeous little girl stepped up to break it down for everyone. Keep up the great work Sarah, there are plenty of other men out there that can still be saved. I just watch your videos to imagine what it would have been like to have this info decades ago.
I used to call my dad. In 1999, he died at the age of 80. Tomorrow I'll be 68 and though I'm happily married, I don't even tell my wife when I'm that low. She doesn't need to know because she has plenty of her own problems and I'm one of them and I'm reminded often. Don't get me wrong. She treats me great. She's awesome. She cares about what I eat. She wants me to live. But when I'm low there's no way I'm going to burden her with what I'm low about because when she is angry at me, she will use it against me.
The guy that said "They will find a way to use it against me one day" ... That's been my experience in life. I've had three LTR's in my long life, including being married for 15 years. Even in marriage I couldn't honestly open up when I was feeling down because I was the one that had to be the "rock" emotionally. I was the one that had to be stoic, even when her alcoholism and narcissism cut me down. When my parents died I was told it was ok to shed a tear and then when I did I was told I was weak and a failure for being emotional. I was told it was ok to be open and to feel sad, but she would only engage in this sort of conversation when she was drunk, so anything I said was then used against me in an argument or simply forgotten and never to exist in her memory because she was half-way to passing out from excessive booze in her system. I'll never go into any other relationship now. My experiences have taught me to keep my feelings to myself, to stay quiet and bottle things up or to pass things off as inconsequential. All these guys you see in the video, this is most men. If you're a mom then teach your sons that it's ok to cry, teach your daughters that men can feel emotions. If you're a wife or gf then please learn to accept that your man in your life also feels things. If you do that already then you're one in a billion and I'm glad you're breaking an ages old cycle. If you're not sure that you do that then really dig deep and ask yourself if you can support your guy more. We're not all toxic monsters, we're not all amazing with tools, we're not always incredible at sports. None of us are George Clooney. The vast majority of us just want a person by our side who we can feel love from and could confide in. We're just regular dudes who have a life to live and are doing the best we can. Personally, I'm trying to teach my boys that it's ok to be emotional. That I am there for them if they feel sad. Hopefully I can help educate them with red flags to look out for in prospective partners so they're more likely to find a supportive partner and avoid women who expect "rocks". If my experiences help them to break the cycle then I will have done some good from the things I've been through.
That's why I have a dog, we go for a walk and figure shit out, I lay it out to him and wait for an answer and he always answers, he sits there and stares at me stoically, and that's the perfect answer, be stoic, be silent, show nothing. And he'll never use your problems against you or betray you. There's a reason he's called man's best friend...
@@rbhigday5350 have you thought about getting another? I know it's difficult after losing one that has been your best friend for years, but it's worth thinking about. And I'm truly sorry for your loss...
I’m a single man all alone on Christmas Day. Not the first time. I don’t go to anyones house unless I’m invited. This is the first time I’ve mentioned it to anyone in anyway. It’s just how my life is. I’m contacted when someone needs something. After that I’m not needed anymore. Would love to have someone say are you OK. I won’t cry on their shoulder or bore them with the reality of my life I would simply answer , I’m just fine thank you for asking. I would never burden them with my loneliness. Only reason I speak here is because no one here knows who I am.
The system brought men to this current predicament and them elites knew this was coming, feminism was only a shield of defense for women to escape the harem recruiters from kidnapping them
I am grateful to know I am not alone after all. Millions of men feel the exact same way I do. God bless you all for 1000 lifetimes. Voluntary celibate. Never ever be afraid to be alone… that’s where great ideas are borne. 🙏🏻
I can understand this. Most of my life I have been that person that is called to help when there is a problem....when I need help everyone is busy and doesn't have time. Usually told that I'll understand when I get order or I'll see what it is like when I have a wife and kids.
68, and alone. Every time I've reached out to, male or female, someone when I'm down, the reaction is the same. "MAN UP" ONLY my relationship with GOD,. The One who cares and always has time to listen.
Yep No longer vital. For their survival. ? I’ve often wondered why people would throw away an item, a relatively expensive perfectly good working item and just discard it in the dump. I still not 100% sure but at 70yrs old I’ve got a pretty good idea.
@@henrinaths1 Simple, people aren't taught to take care of things anymore. I find stuff that my neighbors toss out a lot. I clean and get those things working again.
Wow I’ve never realized other men don’t call anyone either. What a sobering realization. I try to protect my wife and family from what I deal with and it’s internally destroying me it seems, but gotta keep it moving forward.
Keep protecting them. Your wife doesn't need to know your problems. She can't help you and she is not wired to deal with your problems. If you confide in her with your problems you will look weak to her. And she will feel insecure because you seem unstable and she will begin looking for a stronger more stable relationship. If she ask no matter how bad say this isn't shit I have everything under control.
As someone who is the wife in the same situation, talk to her. For me there is nothing more frustrating than asking my love to open up so I can help and him brushing it off saying he doesn’t have feelings. It breaks my heart that there’s nothing I can do and I can’t make him happy or help him. I know he has feelings, but I can’t do anything if he won’t talk to me.
That makes me cry. I've been married for almost 30 yrs. When my husband and I get into it. I know he has no one to confide in but me. So, it hurts knowing how sad it is, that we as people don't listen to men. Just like women, men need to be able to release hurt and be free of pain. This is why so many men give up. They know no one has their backs. My sons know my husband and I are there when no one else is.
I see each of you devine men! I ADORE you all. There are the rare of us women who worship you in all your devinity! Without each of you, we would not be here walking this earth today. You are the best men since GenX! Please don't ever give up and love what I see in each of you!
Being the oldest son of a divorced mother....responsibility of a man was forced on me at a young age. Now in my 50s I have always been expected to provide, protect and always be fine. I have eaten most of my sorrows and pain my entire life for fear of being seen as weak or useless. " I'm fine" is gonna be chiseled on my headstone.
I was also the oldest child. Early on, I had to take responsibility of looking after my younger siblings when my mom turned to hard drugs and alcohol. I have spent my entire life since looking out for everyone else. I didn't know I was supposed to happy too. I'll be 41 next week. The ONLY happiness I have is taking care of my son. I will give everything to try to make sure he has a chance at happiness and peace.
@@chmc2310 I grew up with an alcoholic mother as well. I was the third child however and often locked myself in my bedroom to try to escape the hard truth that I would someday have to face. I’m now 21, and I honestly can’t believe that my older brother (the eldest of the family) gets trash talked behind his back by my other family members. I feel like he’s the one I can feel closest to as the only other guy among the four children in our family. Things are better now I guess, family members talk better about him. But I’ll always remember him regardless of what he does or becomes as the marshmallow with the tough exterior and a great sense of humor. TLDR: Don’t forget about your older siblings. They’re always there for you and they honestly deserve more credit.
![[TH] 2024 PMSL SEA W2D2 | Summer | โหดจัด ซัดไม่เลี้ยง](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TJa9d7tpSP4/mqdefault.jpg)
"Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. As soon as a man is no longer useful, no one loves him."
-Chris Rock
A man can work hard and succeed for decades.
But when he goes through hard times...and loses..all those decades vanish. His value is based on what he produces & acquires...and then.maintains.
@@MrGchiasson You are absolutely right, I'm in a 20 year marriage, was the provider all that time, have my house paid off, put her through nursing school.,.
I had my leg amputated here recently and now she hits me with a divorce. Now that I'm not providing at the time I'm worthless to her.
@@betonavarro8467 that's the way it is we are here to protect and provide. It's a shame but that's how it's always been. We work ourselves to a early grave and that's it.
Nailed it
@@betonavarro8467 I am so sorry to hear that!
I pray you recover and get good prosthetic leg & physical therapy.
This is a divorce & ungrateful betrayal.
This story is why men said "To hell with it" and go out own way.
"No one, because they will find a way to use it against me one day."
Ain't that the truth...
I used to call my dad. In 1999, he died at the age of 80. Tomorrow I'll be 68 and though I'm happily married, I don't even tell my wife when I'm that low. She doesn't need to know because she has plenty of her own problems and I'm one of them and I'm reminded often. Don't get me wrong. She treats me great. She's awesome. She cares about what I eat. She wants me to live. But when I'm low there's no way I'm going to burden her with what I'm low about because when she is angry at me, she will use it against me.
My ex wife still does that to me to this day and has been for the past 14 years
I don't have a person. I can call my mom, but won't
That's the purest form of truth on that statement
@@KLP99 you sir, are a true man, keeping your emotions for purely selfless reasons.
Though I would suggest someone you could talk to so as to not burden your wife, he a carpenter. 😏
I'm a barber...own my barbershop...I listen to each of my male clients very, very carefully...not every man still has a Dad or close male friend to reach out to...and I will always listen to them very, very carefully...ALWAYS
😢❤❤❤❤
This is why every man needs an old-school barber. One that still uses a straight razor and strap. One that knows his job is more than a “shave and a haircut.” 🍻 to all the real barbers in this world!
@@JeremyBurnett but, of course...and thank you
you a good dude.
My brother used to go to a barber just so he could have someone give him a human touch and to talk to him.
I love how alot of women scream at the top of their lungs "Men are toxic, hyper masculine, monsters who aren't able to feel or express emotions."
And yet when they do encounter one who DOES express their feelings these same women are usually the first to dump him for being "Weak".
And they want abortion rights so they wont get the pregnant belly and they still call us monsters😂 the irony
@@NootNootMdfAccountability is a woman’s KRYPTONITE
@@NootNootMdf you think that's why women get abortions??? how old are you??
you haven't met too many women then. almost all women i know, including me, knew they were in love when the man cried (happiness, or sadness) besides, how much of womens romance books and movies etc aimed at women show romantic, emotional men? almost all of them. and what do tv shows, movies, etc aimed for men, show? stone cold, gun shooting, matcho men who don't even notice when they get shot, and women are only there to be sex objects and something to save.
@@Ambivalent845 You live in an alternate reality completely different to what the rest of the world lives in
"I'm a man. Nobody gives a sh*t." Deadly accurate. Welcome to our reality, ladies.
Here’s the REAL reality… people care A LOT. When we ask what’s wrong, we ask because we really want to know because we CARE. It’s your EGO that keeps you quiet because you don’t want to appear weak if you admitted you were struggling on the inside but rather to (yet again) admit to that truth, you once again shift the blame onto everyone else so you can escape accountability and remain in the victim hood mentally. And THAT is what really makes you actually weak. That’s reality.
Now I literally have no one that cares yet when I’m at my lowest, I call my therapist because I can admit when I’m struggling and I’m not afraid to do something about it. There is ALWAYS someone you can call. A friend, family, stranger on a helpline, a therapist.. there is always someone to call. You have chosen not to call anyone. You’re the only one that doesn’t give a ____ about you so you do nothing for yourself. Give a ____ and make that call.
yeah. absolutely
Perfect
It's sad how we are treated 😞
Sounds to me like the men are emotionally stunted. If you don't have anyone to open up to it's because nobody can open up to you.
"Young men learn very early on; there ain't nobody coming for them." - Kevin Samuels
Wow
Yeah n mama ain't always gonna be there
Too true
Fat girls learn the same thing
Kevin Samuels (very entertaining and has HIS OWN WAY) but he and his teachings, his words ....they are lonely unGodly words! Christ Jesus will lead you to a place you want to be that you never imagined! Kevin, you won't want to hang with him! Never once did he mention Christ! And his (Kevin's) cursing is the pudding, unfortunately. I have PLENTY of brothers to come get me, pick me up when I stumble, show me Love when I'm lonely as humans can get.
One night two years ago I came home after a three hour drive from Natl Guard drill, two hours later had a heart attack, and drove myself to the hospital. The nurse asked if there was anyone I wanted her to call, I said "no thanks, there's no one. The name of the funeral home is in my wallet". Think she wanted to cry. After Hurricane Katrina, I was rescuing people. Later I was told my ex and daughter were calling to see if I was on the dead list so they could come take everything... One woman I rescued called me nasty when I lit a cigarette back in the boat.
Life lessons: Don't ever tell a woman the truth, Don't ever tell them what you are thinking and don't ever tell them when you are down or most vulnerable. Because all these things they will label you as weak.
so true. As soon as you tell a woman a mistake or something personal (my experience) they use it against you and remind you of it often. Experience with girlfriends and 2 wives.
I've experienced this with men though? There's an interesting amount of irony in MEN telling other men "don't talk about your feelings" while also claiming "we have no one to talk to." There are ppl who care. You can't find those ppl if your own fear dictates your level of vulnerability though.
and use them against you in a fight
I'm a guy, I started to tear up watching this.
I'm a bit older now, 40, and I've only just found a couple guy friends (one my age and one much older) that I share anything with, but still guarded and not too deep. And always shrouded in comedy.
I would never share my deeper feelings or vulnerabilities with a single woman I know, they would use it against me eventually, probably publicly. Learned that the hard way from two wives. They don't want to ever hear what you have to say about your own feelings. Not ever! Unless it specifically validates what they want to hear about themselves.
And there’s no going back once you’ve done it
They're not lying! As a guy, we'll figure it out and deal with it!
Well at least we try. Doesn't mean we always figure it out though
I'm thankful for every one of my struggles made me better
Why? Bc noone gives a fuck
It's called life, right? The simpletons won't get it
We always do…. That is the lot men have in life….
"They will just find a way to use it against me."
That sums it up precisely right there. 🤦
Yep
Exactly. This was my 20s.
Yup don't tell your fears or deepestvdarkest secrets cuz someone will use it against you. There is stuff that ill never tell my long time gf
That is why I’m aroace
This only happens with toxic people, normal people will never use it against you! I am a girl and have made this experience. Does not stop me from opening up... and I understand I was educated differently, which has created other issues for me that guys do not struggle with as much...
Yup.... Guys don't get the luxury. You man up and get through it no matter what.
Married for 12 years and I still don't whine to my wife. Can't. She'd have a fucking melt down if I did.
You need couple's therapy if you can't tell your wife you are suffering from stress, anxiety, or depression. That is not healthy. If she doesn't want to get help, then divorce. Do not be enslaved to your marriage. Live in a home, not a prison.
"I'm a guy nobody gives a shit" Truer words never spoken.
You're not alone luv yha brother...
God bless.
@@unidentified5441 Don't get the wrong idea I'm not depressed or lonely we men just have a comradery that happens naturally. Even if we are having a bad day we don't want to drag the guys down with us so we won't bother them with it that's all.
@@severinevans346 ? So I'm not being a bro by telling you basically your not alone and stay strong and I'm trying to lift your spirit that's all... what ever happened to picking each other up instead of tearing each other down
@@unidentified5441 I appreciate it man I didn't mean any harm just letting people know I'm not depressed and I'm alright. Good looking out though it's rare these days.
The next time you walk by and you see a guy with a blank look on his face, he's at war with his feelings inside.
That my friend...is an amazing comment.
We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against evil spirits and dark forces
Yes... yes I am... daily... Especially if you're a single dad making things work on the daily with no one to back you up... even to talk to... God hears me... so I only talk to him...
This is why us dudes self delect at a rate 4 times higher than women....most of the guy's spaces don't exist anymore, used to be where men went to vent or talk to someone. But those places had to go because they were labeled misogynistic....
Truth! We live there…
Married over 25 years, and still have to crawl inside myself. That's a very honest post.
I'm 54 and yes, it's life. I've felt this way my entire life, and seeing the young guys here really upsets me for them, but also because I felt that way at their age.
I am 59. I would not want to be a young man these days. As hard as it has been to be a man of my generation, I can't imagine even trying to date in these days. Between false accusations and constantly shifting ideas of what masculinity is and whether you can even be masculine. I would move out to the dessert and become a hermit although, I have kind of taken that route myself.
“They will just find a way to use it against me”
This guy knows what’s up!!!
Exactly!!!
I didn’t hear that but I’ve said that to people for a while if asked the question or something similar about emotions
“I don’t want to give my enemies if I got any another way to attack me”
My thoughts exactly.
My wife has done this to win a arguement
Truth
"They don't care, they will just find a way to use it against me." Yep.
My mind is always in that place too blessed be
Yep - it took me 20 years but I finally learned to not share my pain with my wife, especially if its about her in any way. It would always be my fault. Just gotta eat the shit fellas. No way around it.
I literally thought the exact same thing 2 seconds before I read your comment.
@@sirferr8902 Yea - its sad but it is what it is. Women can only really love a small percentage of the male population. The rest of us are just garbage they settled for because the top percentile is not available.
Double facts!!
It is amazing that even the men that are silent, if an individual pays attention enough and cares enough they can pick up small hints from men that need help.
This is how you know Sarah is genuine. Her face starts to look genuinely worn and hurt for them. It's not some theatrical over the top sympathetic face and it's hard to notice but you can tell it hurts her to see this. Thank you Sarah for caring and for doing so much to help.
I watched it again to see what you were talking about. It looks like she’s trying to not smile to me.
@@BlueDart1971 🤷♂️
Her: Tell me your feelings
Him: Ok *he opens up*
Her: I'm leaving you!
Or they proceed to use it as a weapon on you when there mad
and - that's EXACTLY what happened to me.
@@mixter7x7 🫂
@@tedhart4468 oh they doin that first
This happened to me exactly but she took my son also and disappeared but I'm the piece of crap. NO ONE CARES if you want something in life you fight for it even if your standing alone.
This is too true. As a man, every time we open up about our struggles, it's used against us or at best ignored.
Or at worst we are manipulated to think our emotions and thoughts are evil. A female therapist will do this to you when you seek help.
Yes! Not to mention the made fun of.
@@fartnloud7411 that’s really true bro. It’s like you show vulnerability and it turns out she was just trying to get more things to use against you.
Yip even 30 years later it’s brought up.
And then keeping quiet about it is "toxic masculinity" yes keep blaming it on us
As a mom to a boy, I hope one day he can say I will call my mom or my dad because we will always care. For my husband, he is my life I will also be there for him and have his back. We have been through so much together.
That's a great solution ... for awhile. More than likely, he will outlive you. What then? 😢
Just pray that God gives me the strength to continue on. Remain strong my brothers
" how did we teach men to be silent about there emotions?" No one did, we just realized that no one listens or cares when we do speak up
yea, it's not about some mythical "Toxic Masculinity", it's about not giving a single fuck when some guy tried to get some comfort or help, and didn't get it
Not quite. Every time that I did buy into the crap about sharing my feelings it got shamelessly abused and/or turned into a weapon against me. Usually by the female who insisted that I talk about it in the first place.
Not true. My son is a big muscular man, loves women and looks like a biker and pretty much looks and acts like one, but he has no problem sharing his emotions with me. I’m his Mom and I have always told him that there is nothing wrong with crying. He has no problem with crying.
Females use it against you it’s weird as hell
@@sneezyfido YES!! My mom and then my ex-wife.
The last guy hit me deep. “They will find a way to use it against me one day”
It’s the brutal truth, the second you let your guard down and open up to someone especially these modern women ☕️ who try and encourage you to “show your emotions and feelings” they’re saving it as ammunition later when you do something they don’t like. A lot of these women ☕️ out there just want you to be emotional so when the time comes they know exactly what’s gonna cut you deep
100%
Every time man...every time...
It's a fact.
Let your enemies see no weakness. This whole fuckin world is my enemy but I'll show compassion when I can.
I let my WIFE know too much about my pain best believe it's been used against me.
Yep, definitely had that happen before.
This is true. When my wife had cancer, I quit my job to take care of her and our 3 kids. People helped her and brought some meals over. No one ever asked me how I was doing...even after it all. 2 years ago we divorced. My mother regularly checked in and my best friend did a couple of times...he lives in another country. Other than that, no one helped...or checked. Dyri g that there was a month where I would have been homeless if it wasn't for my mother. Even my father didn't help.
This is your best shared short video in my opinion. "I am a rock. I am an island. A rock has no pain and an island never cries." Simon and Garfunkel
I can remember the last time I cried. It's like it was only 50 years ago. Oh wait. It was.
I asked my husband this question after watching this. We’ve been together almost 14 years, I honestly thought he would say me. He just shrugged his shoulders and said “I don’t know…. No one I guess” This video and my husbands answer literally broke my heart! And I realized I wasn’t doing enough for him to feel comfortable to come to me when he’s feeling low and needs to talk. I swore to him that I would do better and I would work harder and would do whatever he needs to know that he could always come to me and I would never, NEVER shame him or blow him off. He has been my rock and my safest place to run to for almost 14 years and I never realized he didn’t feel the same…. I’ve been failing my husband in the most important and significant way… but I WILL do better and I WILL be better for him. Thank you for showing this to me! I think a lot of women and wives need to see this and ask their husbands this question and I think ALL women need to do better when it comes to the men in this world! We would be nowhere without them, literally!
I respect your comment. Coming from a man here so please listen. The best thing you can do is be all ears whenever he decides to speak. never ever try to force it out. just listen and more importantly don't try to fix it on your terms. ask how you can help. and he probably will say there's nothing, and that's when you come and say that yourself not being able to help is not an option and you'll go to an early grave trying to take his lowest moments away. trust me he'll appreciate that and it will open up tons of doors for him. also, if at all possible get him a conversation with another man. that may be difficult but only men can understand what men truly feel. your job is support. another man has understanding. You're sympathy other men are empathy. last but not least he'll never want to shower his mental exhaustion on to you. he will die exhausted before he makes you exhausted. his DNA is to keep pushing. men literally go until death. you be strong! act strong! commit to die with him! stand beside him. "Men protect those who stand behind them, respect those who stand beside them, and destroy those who stand in front of them." Choose beside or behind
@@LackToesInTallOrRent Thank you for your words! I have read them carefully and will try my best to follow them. I will try not to push or force him to talk but only make myself available when and if he ever is really to talk. I won’t interrupt and I won’t interfere knowing that I can’t fix him, but I can at least be there for him and just be his wife. The “him talking another man” thing I think is going to be the hardest to be honest! He doesn’t really have many other guy friends, and the few he does, he doesn’t like all that much! This is why I was surprised when he didn’t say he would come me if he needed cause we’ve been each other best friend since we met! We’re basically the only people each other can stand! Lol
But I think you’re right and I’ll just give it time and not push anything.
Thank you again! God bless xoxo
@@hellie82 The talking to another man part will in fact be the toughest. I know that because me and my wife are in the exact same boat. I have one friend and we've stopped speaking to each other for about 3 years now. When I feel at my lowest(which seems often nowadays) the one thing I wish for is the clock to speed up so dinner, bedtime, and I'll try again the next day. Sad but it literally is a reality. I don't wanna talk your ear off and I'm honored you said you'll take my words into consideration. Just be his solid. All men need help. Whether emotionally, motivationally, or simply appreciation. Take care of yourself and him. Bless
@@LackToesInTallOrRent Ya he’s pretty much the same. The one guy I think he would open up to, is his old best friend but they now live in different parts of the country and haven’t spoken to each other in years. He talks of how he misses him and wishes they were still close, but life gets in the way sadly.
Anyway, thank you again for your advice. I do appreciate it greatly and will try my best to follow it.
Take care, god bless.
It would be nice if more women thought like you. Fact is most men are a rock and safe place for somebody out there in some way, whether its their wives, girlfriends or kids. And nearly NO MAN gets any respect, recognition or care for it. You are rare.
Once my gf asked me the same question. I really had no answer. Nobody. None. I asked her "What for?". I told her when I'm at my lowest, the most I would do was to go visit my Mom. I still wouldn't talk to her about my problems, but I'd just listen to her for sometime, eat a meal and leave. I was fortunate I had that. But most men don't even have that. My gf couldn't believe that's how men lived. I really feel for the people in the video. It's a sad reality.
Same here, mom is going to be there for you. Only person on this earth that will love you unconditionally.
Not always my man my mom gave me to my grandparents to raise cuz she didn't have time for me cuz i was not part of the family when she married a new man and they had my brothers...
I was the same, and now she's gone and I miss her, her food always comforted me.
@@rossonphillips I'm sorry to hear that brother. I'm terrified of when my grandma is gone..
@@anthonymccord457 Spend as much quality time with her as possible and kiss and hug her and tell her you love her. She's proud of you.
I call my dog, for unconditional love.
Right! My dog'sa great listener.
This is so true. I can listen to there problems for hours, but when I start to try to talk about how I feel, they walk away or change the conversation or try to compare how their problems are worse. Why even try anymore..
That's our story boys. No one cares about us. When we are in it, we just numb it, shut it and go through it until we come out of it without anyone knowing we were going through fire. Stay Strong brothers. Peace ✌🏻
Nailed it. Push through, until you bust out the other side. Works anyways😂
Tata: I respect and understand everything you said cuz I lived it too...almost 70yrs now....we didn't have all the specialized 'help' back then available to us...I was an orphan in the southside of Chicago...in a very abusive home...foster dad worked in a paint factory all day (sniffing paint mixes) and drank whiskey all night...foster mother only collected the checks the government sent for us foster kids...there was 3 of us...and one of us was gonna get a beating practically every weekday night and mostly it was me cuz I was the biggest one...hung by my ankles and beat til he passed out...we boys learned quickly how to pray...the foster mother lost her eyesight and finally God took kevin and demetrius out of that house...I left shortly after to another abusive family in downtown Chicago...I lasted one night...at 9yrs I learned no one was gonna put their hands on me without paying...I told you all this because being 'strong' has its consequences in the long run...I have been by myself most of my life being strong....believe me when you get my age it's a mighty lonely life and wasted life...yes be strong but know not everybody is out to hurt...and honestly the one who got me thus far is God/Jesus Christ...I pray everyone gets know and experience God's amazing love and acceptance for them everyday all day... I will be praying for you and these young men...God really does have good plans for you and everybody...
@@davidthomas8884 Thank you so much for sharing your story and your prayers. God bless you🙏
We’ve naturally been in society, people who have to “man up”, and not show our emotions, but we can push through this.
It's only getting dangerous when the numbness doesn't go away...
I was told by my wife, "You can't be sad I depend on you. I need you to be strong " This is the reality of being a guy. Welcome to our world ladies.
Evolution taught men that if they acknowledge their weaknesses, it’s an invitation to marauders to attack and kill them, pillage their village, rape the women and enslave their children. This is why men often time don’t go to the doctor when sick. It’s their evolutionarily acquire imperative to project strength. Because during the course of evolution it was the men that protected the women they didn’t need to mask their weaknesses. Women choose to marry strong men and yet they criticize and mock them when they don’t go to the doctor or acknowledge their feelings but frequently divorce them when they do.….Animals who fail to mask their injuries or weakness are food for predators!
Divorce her
@@justicedatz7406 I am already working on that. LoL
Damn
Sadly it’s true
and just watch the way men are treated on tv.
we provide them with a nice house and safety and we get disrespect.
so, F. them all.
52 yrs old. This rings true. It's felt this way since about age 15
We suffer almost exclusively in SILENCE.
"No one, they'll just find a way to use it against you." Yup.
Yep, women always find a way to use it against you. Example: if you don't want to be alone then you better pay for everything, raise my four kids from different men, never have sex again, do the laundry, dishes, cook, vacuum, and take out the trash.
Looks like the Majority agree, Savage. Yup.
@@jacobwaters8459 you ok bro? You raising 4 kids you don't know? There's other fish in the sea that swim on their own without pulling you into the depths. Go swim with someone.
@@Rabbit-the-One that is a really good analogy!! I’ve heard of the plenty of fish in the sea but not the rest of it
Correct.
“The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation” -Henry Thoreau, 1854
Harsh truth
168 year old fact
It kinda blows my mind
That was my grandpa who said that
Exactly.
Yep unfortunately true I think
This so incredibly sad to me. Men are important and valuable and they do most definitely matter- so much. It is so shameful that people as a whole have made men feel this way. So very sorry, guys. Not that you would tell me, but I care!
I always thought I was alone. But now at least I know I'm not alone in being alone. That helps anyways.
As a man it does break my heart to hear this, This really hits home because I feel the same as all of these guys. We tend to focus on making everybody else happy and forget about ourselves in the process
HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH...
STAY STONG BROTHERS..
This hurts me as well because I feel the same us men do our hardest to make others happy and get Nothing in return when it gets hard for us.
Yep
That's starting to change my oldest son is 36 is just like these men when he has problems he keeps them to his self. I try to call him and give him advice he listens for the most part. He just seldom's calls and he weathers the storm by his self just as I did when I was a young man. Now my youngest son who is about to turn 20 who has already been rocked by this new culture and by some less just say less than desirable females... He is now just focusing on himself he has lost all respect for females he will not sacrifice his self for a gynocentric society that don't care about him whatsoever. This will begin to happen more and more these young males that's coming up will only be concerned about themselves. I can't say I don't blame them . Why sacrifice yourself for a society that doesn't care about you. It's really easy as a male to just take care of yourself. I'm interested in seeing what this all leads to. In the end I think the females will be left out in the cold sure they'll find somebody but it will not be what it could have had been Because the good men are starting to figure out the juice is no longer worth the squeeze....
So true
"they would just find a way to use it against me one day" ive made the mistake of sharing my troubles before and this is too true.
So true. I’m married and I do not express my personal troubles to anyone as, through prior relationship experience, I am seen as somehow less than a man for having feelings. That’s why guys have to have other friends that are men as they understand that shit.
I hope someone enters your lives who will truly hear your heart and not gaslight you for it, but treat you righteously with unconditional love and respect.
Sounds like my ex she didn't care just wanted to get me to tell her shit so she could use it against me
Facts. Open yourself to a woman and you’re opening yourself to an attack that actually hurts the first time she gets mad.
100%
That last one, especially " they'd find a way to use it against us".
Sarah.
Thank you!
Even for you was hard to keep a straight face!
Someone feels for us.
That’s all we ever wanted.
"They don't care, they will just find a way to use it against me."
Yes they really don’t care about your emotions and how you feel mentally they’ll find a way to use your emotions against you it breaks my heart that there’s literally a war between all of this
This is one of the most heartbreaking videos I've ever seen , I'm 64, have a son and what media is doing to men, humanity is the purest evil.
He has you! Sometimes that will be all he needs. Thank you for being a dad.
As a mother of a son, I feel the same, Terri.
No love for humanity is the greatest evil. It's the hate emotion itself
It's not humanity it's the elite corrupting desensitization and programming controlling the narrative(s) through agenda
Media is evil.
Even when I was married to a woman I spent 20 years with, and had three children with, the answer was no one.
"I'm not fine but I will be"
Perfect sentiment for men these days
Bless you ❤
We talk to ourselves in the car while blasting music... end of the day we know there is no one is out there for us .... just move forward and persevere
Yea that’s pretty accurate to me at least
Strong words of truth in a brief post. Those who can relate will commiserate. Perseverance is powerful and to be revered for its strength.
Talk to your father, your heavenly father. Cast your pride aside and really just talk to him. Meditate and listen. You CAN do it.
Screaming in the car blasting music hits different though.
That’s my husband…. 😢
The answers from those guys hurts like hell to hear because it’s so damn true, I learned early on that as a guy no one gives two shits if you are struggling.
You learn real quick to just plow through and do the best you can and you also learn whatever you tell someone can and most likely will be weaponized against you.
Years ago I read the saying " most men live lives of quiet desperation". Think about it. I did.
"They will just find a way to use it against me one day" too many times has that happened personally
That is so Sad. Terrible people have to be like this. I think if 1 guy didn't reach out to me awhile back , he would have committed suicide. We lost touch over the years. He eventually did commit suicide. That was the reason he told me that was still eating him up inside. His brother told me. Sure it was more than that.
I feel that way too and I’m a girl… but I had all my friends turn their backs on me when I stoped being friends with one girl who was awful to me. Everyone took her side and I didn’t do anything. I just decided I didn’t wana be treated like shit and have to beg for her to forgive me when I hadn’t done anything. I had no one for years that I could talk to because my mom would just get upset and think I was guna hurt my self if I got sad and my older sister didn’t know what to do so she would go to mom. I learned to just keep it all to my self. Then I met my bf and started hanging out with my childhood best friend more often(she lived a different life than me so I didn’t always see her when I was in school) if it wasn’t for her and my bf showing me over 10 years that they were here no matter what I realized I wasn’t alone anymore. I was 18 when I started hanging out with my third rock so now I have 3 people I know I can say anything too.
I agree. They misuse the information and instead use it for weapons to break me down another way.
Yee, I’m blessed I always got mom if I need to talk. But only so much you can say to your moms before you just feel like you let her down too.
Usually it’s a girl you thought had your back and when that loyalty gets broken, by a RAT, most men fail to find a way to trust again. They deal with their emotions alone cuz too many use it for their own gain if we share.
Same here, bro
In a previous relationship I was accused of not communicating and showing enough emotion. A few times I did and was called a pansy, literally, by the same person.
Plus, there are countless videos telling men that they are viewed as weak and inferior if they show vulnerability to their partner
This is why you NEVER listen to women, NEVER take their advice, especially with relationship issues.
All these women watching this video, acting like they empathize.... they're the same women who will lose all attraction and respect towards a guy, THE SECOND he shows any emotions. They are literally DISGUSTED by it. And not only that, but they LOVE to use them against you. Tell them what you're sensitive about, and they will use it against you the first quarrel you have, even if it's something messed up, like being sad about a parent who died, or something like that
It's one of the major biological reasons that Men control our emotions and don't show them to everyone. It's a defense mechanism..... mostly against WOMEN.
So it's pretty funny to see them all pretend to empathize here in these comments/videos
Yep me too, maybe we should start a hashtag.
I am a U.S. Marine I've been shot stabbed and been blown off of a building .
My wife at the time and I were watching a show showing military men coming home to their kids and families. I thought back to some of my buddies that that didn't make it home and I cried just uncontrollably she laughed at me and called me a pussy. during our divorce process she was laughing about it as she told the judge that story.
@@robertblansett3431 that's messed up man. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Because I know these things stay with you long after you forget everything else
Sara's puppy eyes say it all 😊
I always called my father. Now that he is passed… no one.
Feeling alone is a feeling men are quite familiar with. We are here to work and care for everyone but ourselves.
"gat U Bro: gat u..."
Try actually actually being alone like most maybe possibly acquaintejces are outta state like six states away but all your mates u went to school with family and all is where u are within maybe tops a twenty mile radius but nobody cals u nobody cares bout if ur breathing an ok an shi and I'm fucking twenty years old but were spose to grow up and have such caring family sucj caring friends not people who will use u manipulate u and then just leave u when u get tired of that and atop being the person who they thought u were just cus u were being complacent to just have people round them when u try meet new people all u find is that nobody is different and nobody understands and just wants to be understood
@@bryarbenton7380 sending love your way !
One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone in a room full of people. Most men know this feeling.
@@rickc7673 woah. I say that all of the time. Amazing to hear someone else express my literal thought.
Very true. As a man, once you are over the age of 20 people only seem to care what you can do for them. No one gives a shit about how you are.
Because women are cute and adorable from birth to death boys up to 12,13 and finally18 to 20 and then thats it female responds to boys hi pitch voices not deep voices as they get older .
This is the hardest thing for my fiancé to except that I won't go to her when I'm at my low points. Too many ppl have used them against me
Listened to this several times making my eyes water. I grew up alone in family, in life and marriage. The most exhausting time has been 2 former marriages where opening up brought a blank stare of disdain. I used to think it was just me!
That one guy that said "They'll just find a way to use it against me one day"
So true tho
32 years married and the moment life got hard for her, she searched her memories and threw out stuff from decades ago just to inflict pain. Seriously ladies, why do you do this!?? Don't you realize it's like death from a million paper cuts?
And people wonder why men contemplate suicide during relationship turmoil.
If you cause this level of pain in a man's life to the point that he ends it, can you honestly live with knowing that he took his own life because of any involvement you had?
Maybe you can, sad to say.
there is a story in the Bible that explains this very thing
Facts.
@@westernstar9121chapter and verse?
We always suffer in complete silence, even if we are screaming from inside!
It's what it is! 🤐
Ur not suppos to tell them that
Or go out to the car and scream where nobody is around.
@@W4ABN shhh
I say that all of the time. “ it is what it is”
Literally having to cry my eyes out while at the same time covering my mouth so no one can hear me
I honestly want to hug all of these poor souls ❤.
And this is why I maintain friendships with my guy friends because I will throw everything else out the window and sit and listen for them.
Guy friends will also backstab. Not as a matter of being with you, nor deliberately…. but with guys that I imagined were close friends AND even with my own brother, I found that I could not confide. I tried confiding in my brother a couple times about issues I was having in my marriage, and in each instance literally the next time he and my wife encountered each other he told her those things. Likewise if I confide in Dad, he’ll tell his wife. And she will tell my wife. So the last time I told anyone anything is a couple decades ago.
My soul is still with the fact that I'm not alone in this. Men don't fight because they hate what's in front of them, they fight because they love what's behind them. The good ones don't ask for praise. They don't expect it. All we want is a hug, and to be told we did enough.
Well said.
yes you are alone. we all are alone individually. thats the way things are and we must deal with it or perish. look at all the guys who’re told to show emotion. once they do no one respects them. females are biologically turned off by emotional men.
THIS VIDEO sucks. It’s supposed to be about the men & instead 75% of the screen is filled with some woman’s face! Ridiculous
.
‘They would find a way to use it against me’ … that’s says everything you need to know about living life today!
Sadly, I have to agree with this 100%
True story.
Exactly 💯 correct.
I opened up completely to my wife over the 17 years we were married, and she did use it against me throughout that time... And even now.
I'm just now learning about what narcissists are, after she's cheated and left me and our boys, and how I was a fool to think I could ever make our relationship work.
My lesson though isn't to never trust again, but to find someone who isn't a narcissist, among other things, and marry her, and give her and my boys (and her kids is she has any) the best life that I can.
I live by that saying. That is why I never look a woman in the eyes. My eyes tell a story
It's astonishing how heartbreaking this is. It hits quite close to home. Been there too, where you simply sit and think about how to move. But you get there, in the end 🤝 Strength to you all my brothers
Thank God for Women Like Sarah . For me I do not need all women to love me just ONE would be nice
Every man relates to this. We have no one out here. We just push through and keep moving forward.
Damn straight bro..damned straight
.
@Jane B Robbins wtf are you on about
we’ll be alright. Stay up king
We will push and push until life kills us or we can't take it and do it ourselves
Amen brother. That’s who we are and what we do.
I cried, because it's so true. You'll either get lectured on how you got there or told to Man Up.
Stop crying, get to work
I have no words for that
Yep, they say it's all your fault, now figure it out. So why even say anything.
No point is crying over something like that, it's always been that way.
A wise guy once said " Sometimes you just gotta do what you CAN" , and at this point where the society is what is is today.
all you can do is well..... go on with your life.
like that guy said "I'm a man, nobody gives a shit"
At least some people have family but friends no one
Look at this lady witnessing her own video.
Sarah has so much Love. How precious is this one.
This really resonated with me, when you’re a man you are so often pushed to one side once you have no worth or reason for being, men have feelings to, but no one really wants to hear you!
It is just me and my 6.yo little girl. I would never tell her my problems. But having her as a responsibility keeps me alive and gives me a reason to be .
Keep going for her bro I know your fight
Single dad of an autistic son here, I agree with you. He's 30 now, but it was a struggle.
God Bless you both…
Push on brother, I feel you.
Keep it moving
My brother called me a few months ago. For the first time in my 49 years. His opening sentence.. "I didn't know who to call. I have no one to talk to".
I'm so happy that I could be that person for him. ❤️😐🕊️
Hell yea you must be a good sis if he feels he can call you like that.
@@Schizniit ☺️🌷🕊️
@@Schizniit 1st time in 49yrs. Yeah shes great. Im 100% sure he will regret it
This is very true
First time in 49 years. Damn bro must literally be dying prayers for him because I couldn’t imagine calling. Me and my sister haven’t talked in a year and I wouldn’t call her.
I'm so glad that I have people in my life that care about me...
It breaks my heart to watch this as a woman. We say we want everything to be equal but that means everyone should have the same amount to respect to give and get
Welcome to our world because, this is how we truly feel all alone and on our own. For us it's just sink or swim.
@@nathan8590 I’m so sorry. I always thought it was a bit odd how I never see any male mental health influencers. I guess this is why.
@@e.l.lifestyles Thank you. I'm sorry if comment seemed cold or harsh, but that's how I was feeling at the time I posted It. It seems we are living in an increasingly anti-male world and it does take a toll.
@@nathan8590 no not at all! this is really eye opening and it means we can speak up about it!
Yeah yeah ,you sound genuine ,I will definitely RUIN MY MENTAL HEALTH FOR YOU ! (Lmao ,absolutely not ,prick !!!)
This is so true! My Dad always taught me in this world you can't rely on nobody but your self and that has always been true!
Fact OFN
I'm with you brother, let us form a unity of brotherhood
well, there's Jesus.
Didn't have a dad to teach me that so I had to figure it out layer thru pain. I will certainly teach my son this from day one, it's something every man must realize. If you don't fight you don't eat because no one is coming to save you.
God
Women were created to be their helpers... we need to start HELPING! thank you for posting this sis.
...nobody was created for anyone. We're all in this together, but none of us were specifically created for anyone else. Don't minimize women by calling them 'helpers'. Women aren't helpers any more than men are protectors.
This doesn't minimize women at all. I'm speaking scripture and of all creation we are the only ones God made by hand. This is an amazing truth darling.
@@Canthus13 I'm a man and have absolutely no problem saying that I was put here to protect and provide for the women in my life. I would gladly lay down my life to ensure that they would be happy for another day and I've never felt like that wasn't fair or wasn't equal in some way. When I close my eyes and picture myself pulling out chairs and opening doors for the ladies in my life it makes me feel like my humanity is aligned and that things are as they should be. I don't feel inferior to a woman when I take something heavy from their arms and hoist it upon myself so they don't have to, I never feel 'less than' when immediately standing and offering my seat on the bus or train when a woman steps on. The problem with the way you think is that your ideas and opinions were created by people you don't even know who are likely not much older or wiser than the people they project themselves on. To each their own and by no means do I have the right or reason to tell you how to live your life but I just want to remind you that within yourself exist a very simple yet beautifully complex and brilliant guidebook to happiness and fulfillment.
When you can understand that all living creatures on earth have a place and purpose and that none are superior or inferior, better or worse because ultimately we are all temporary here and death is the only experience that we will all share equally.
@@Canthus13 oh shut up. Calling women helpers in no way is minimizing or derogatory. The fact that you view helping someone as minimizing is sad. And yes, men and women have different “skill sets” that are meant to compliment each other.
I'm a ma an a full-time solo dad of a 5yo boy we don't need helpers we need less judgment and compassion chances are we will still bottle it up until almost breaking point because we feel we have to try fix the problems ourselves but while trying to overcome the first problem all the following problems flood in on top, I've been lucky to snap out of some dark places just in time I've found myself wondering what I doing 4times now in my life with rope around my neck
Women use Mens vulnerability against them to shame them, ALL WOMEN DO THIS, never show vulnerability to a woman, not even your own mother.
Facts!
Absolutely fucking spot on! They’re opportunistic creatures I don’t trust them today, not even a Christian woman.
Sarah, I can feel your empathy firing red hot on all synaptic connections...incredible
The worst part is when you do try to talk to someone about it they usually just make it about themselves and how much worse they have it
😭😭🥺🥺
Narcissists usually.
Maybe they are going through the same thing as you, but I guess you don't see the irony in your statement.
Yeah it just makes you feel like the world is all so sad and you know what I mean
@@robertnoble7554 Oh my god. Please tell me I'm getting wooooshed right now. You can not have your foot so far in your mouth, can you? Like what kinda headassery?
I've had my friends and family say "if you need to talk". When I just ask for them to spend some time with me in something I enjoy everyone was suddenly busy. I've been through a lot this year. I've essentially just folded into myself and just keep moving on as I always have because the only person you can depend on is yourself.
And there is a friend (Jesus) that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24b KJB
I'm a woman and I feel this personally.
@@shulamiteKINGSbride than go see how you're male family members are doing..
Doubt you will though
I'm 53, I don't talk about my personal problems, only car problems so others can relate to me. Everyone has car problems, but I am the one who fixes car problems. People expect me to listen to or fix their personal problems, they don't like my solutions.
I live alone intentionally, I do not date purposefully, as what I have found is other people are the cause of the majority of my stress.
Being number 2 of six kids, I was the least favorite and I rarely heard from my parents as I travelled the world in the US military. They went to visit my brother in the Army often, they called him every other day, but I would go years without hearing from them. When I would call they wanted to get off the phone ASAP. I grew up alone in my own family.
Wanted a family, had kids, but the ex decided to take them from me and use them to hurt me. She robbed me of being there while they grew up...all while the state made me live on $100 a month for years, as everything I earned went to her or taxes.
*This is not written to garner sympathy, compassion, or anything else. THIS IS A WARNING to other men who are much younger than I am. This is what is in store for most of us, accept it and move on.*
Before I was even a teenager I stopped caring what others through about me, and I did my thing. Usually having to struggle against people trying to prevent me from doing it. I like to build cars, do art work, and go drag racing. Nothing nefarious in me, but people wanted to harm me, and still want to.
I've cut my family out of my life, one daughter still talks to me. When you can handle almost anything, solve almost all of your problems, and do things yourself without input from others, people want to take from you... they rarely give back.
LIVE FOR YOU. Do what is best for you. Make good choices, take risks that have a pay off if you succeed, do not take risks with no payoff that can destroy everything you have worked for and built... like getting married. Worst thing I ever did, and I was daft enough to do it twice. Do not make that mistake.
Live your life on your terms and plan to die alone, because its no big thing and its what happens to most of us anyway. no need to fear it, accept it, and enjoy the time you have on this mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
Facts man sometimes just having someone with you or willing to take time for you is what we need but if you aren't on the verge of a mental breakdown it's dismissed
This is why guys have buddies and women never figure out why we keep these "Useless Buddies" around or want to hang out with them. I learned I was alone way back in the early 70's and I also learned "No good deed goes unpunished". I've been in this game so long I checked out with no intention of ever going back in the mid 90's.
I may have been a slow learner but the lessons were learned. It's amazing it took all these years before we got the Internet and this gorgeous little girl stepped up to break it down for everyone.
Keep up the great work Sarah, there are plenty of other men out there that can still be saved. I just watch your videos to imagine what it would have been like to have this info decades ago.
This is the heartbreaking truth.
When you accept this as a man, it’s makes you stronger.
I can sort my own life out.
Its what makes us what we've been for thousands of years now. The world needs men, but noone ever said it was gonna be easy.
accepting it is condoning it and I refuse. as a man I hold society to a higher standard than this primitive selfish bullshit.
Bingo.
Stick around big boys. You don’t know squat yet.
You’ll eat those words if you survive long enough .
100% sure . Sorry boys.😎🤷🏼
@@jcruisioso5975 projection 101
I call my dad. Fortunately he’s in my life and present, if I didn’t have him it would be no one. No one else cares. I love you Pop!!!
Stick around . Just sayin
Call on Jesus Christ, he will listen.
God bless you and your dad, Adrian! I lost my Pa 16 years ago and miss him every day.
many people lose their dads early because of this same reason. It's just crazy...
I used to call my dad. In 1999, he died at the age of 80. Tomorrow I'll be 68 and though I'm happily married, I don't even tell my wife when I'm that low. She doesn't need to know because she has plenty of her own problems and I'm one of them and I'm reminded often. Don't get me wrong. She treats me great. She's awesome. She cares about what I eat. She wants me to live. But when I'm low there's no way I'm going to burden her with what I'm low about because when she is angry at me, she will use it against me.
The guy that said "They will find a way to use it against me one day" ... That's been my experience in life.
I've had three LTR's in my long life, including being married for 15 years. Even in marriage I couldn't honestly open up when I was feeling down because I was the one that had to be the "rock" emotionally. I was the one that had to be stoic, even when her alcoholism and narcissism cut me down. When my parents died I was told it was ok to shed a tear and then when I did I was told I was weak and a failure for being emotional. I was told it was ok to be open and to feel sad, but she would only engage in this sort of conversation when she was drunk, so anything I said was then used against me in an argument or simply forgotten and never to exist in her memory because she was half-way to passing out from excessive booze in her system.
I'll never go into any other relationship now. My experiences have taught me to keep my feelings to myself, to stay quiet and bottle things up or to pass things off as inconsequential. All these guys you see in the video, this is most men. If you're a mom then teach your sons that it's ok to cry, teach your daughters that men can feel emotions. If you're a wife or gf then please learn to accept that your man in your life also feels things. If you do that already then you're one in a billion and I'm glad you're breaking an ages old cycle. If you're not sure that you do that then really dig deep and ask yourself if you can support your guy more.
We're not all toxic monsters, we're not all amazing with tools, we're not always incredible at sports. None of us are George Clooney. The vast majority of us just want a person by our side who we can feel love from and could confide in. We're just regular dudes who have a life to live and are doing the best we can.
Personally, I'm trying to teach my boys that it's ok to be emotional. That I am there for them if they feel sad. Hopefully I can help educate them with red flags to look out for in prospective partners so they're more likely to find a supportive partner and avoid women who expect "rocks". If my experiences help them to break the cycle then I will have done some good from the things I've been through.
I really appreciate these endeavours of yours. Thank you.
That's why I have a dog, we go for a walk and figure shit out, I lay it out to him and wait for an answer and he always answers, he sits there and stares at me stoically, and that's the perfect answer, be stoic, be silent, show nothing. And he'll never use your problems against you or betray you. There's a reason he's called man's best friend...
mine died Jan 21st, now i have no one.
@@rbhigday5350 have you thought about getting another? I know it's difficult after losing one that has been your best friend for years, but it's worth thinking about. And I'm truly sorry for your loss...
@rbhigday I hope a new best friend finds you soon bro. 💪
I’m a single man all alone on Christmas Day. Not the first time. I don’t go to anyones house unless I’m invited. This is the first time I’ve mentioned it to anyone in anyway. It’s just how my life is. I’m contacted when someone needs something. After that I’m not needed anymore. Would love to have someone say are you OK. I won’t cry on their shoulder or bore them with the reality of my life I would simply answer , I’m just fine thank you for asking. I would never burden them with my loneliness. Only reason I speak here is because no one here knows who I am.
Many of us feel this way. You are not alone & you are appreciated. Have a blessed Christmas
I'm right there with you brother.
The system brought men to this current predicament and them elites knew this was coming, feminism was only a shield of defense for women to escape the harem recruiters from kidnapping them
I love spending Christmas alone 🙏🏽🌲
Any friend or friends that you can hang with? Anyone that you can go with to a bar, pub or restaurant or bowling alley or ... ?
I am grateful to know I am not alone after all.
Millions of men feel the exact same way I do.
God bless you all for 1000 lifetimes.
Voluntary celibate.
Never ever be afraid to be alone… that’s where great ideas are borne. 🙏🏻
I can understand this. Most of my life I have been that person that is called to help when there is a problem....when I need help everyone is busy and doesn't have time. Usually told that I'll understand when I get order or I'll see what it is like when I have a wife and kids.
I’m an adult male who is in tears. I feel this video to my soul
Me too.
it is true
I don't have any more tears to shed. That well is dry.
68, and alone. Every time I've reached out to, male or female, someone when I'm down, the reaction is the same. "MAN UP"
ONLY my relationship with GOD,. The One who cares and always has time to listen.
I wish I could cry but I was raised not to show my emotions
71 years old and I've been like this all my life. I internalize and then move on.
I am 54 do exactly the same.
How's it going!! I'm here!!
Yep
No longer vital. For their survival. ?
I’ve often wondered why people would throw away an item, a relatively expensive perfectly good working item and just discard it in the dump.
I still not 100% sure but at 70yrs old I’ve got a pretty good idea.
@@henrinaths1 Simple, people aren't taught to take care of things anymore. I find stuff that my neighbors toss out a lot. I clean and get those things working again.
Nobody gives a shit when I'm "down", they only care about me when I'm "up". Yeah, I'm 51 and have been internalizing, then moving on, for years.
So true! I myself struggle in silence. No one had time to listen my struggle. They have their own.
I am with a men's mental health support group.
It's a save haven for men to share their stories confidentially.
It really does work!
Wow I’ve never realized other men don’t call anyone either. What a sobering realization. I try to protect my wife and family from what I deal with and it’s internally destroying me it seems, but gotta keep it moving forward.
Why not speak to your wife?
@@xrespeckx7129 To not burden her with it, she needs to feel safe and protected by a strong man, not listen to cries of a weak man.
Keep protecting them. Your wife doesn't need to know your problems. She can't help you and she is not wired to deal with your problems. If you confide in her with your problems you will look weak to her. And she will feel insecure because you seem unstable and she will begin looking for a stronger more stable relationship. If she ask no matter how bad say this isn't shit I have everything under control.
@@Nr.7-Seven right on women can't handle mens problems.
As someone who is the wife in the same situation, talk to her. For me there is nothing more frustrating than asking my love to open up so I can help and him brushing it off saying he doesn’t have feelings. It breaks my heart that there’s nothing I can do and I can’t make him happy or help him. I know he has feelings, but I can’t do anything if he won’t talk to me.
Being alone is not so bad when you get used to it, it makes you strong...but lonely.
💯
Yeah beibg alone makes you strong but it also makes lonely
Yup
Definitely..
Yea I agree
That makes me cry. I've been married for almost 30 yrs. When my husband and I get into it. I know he has no one to confide in but me. So, it hurts knowing how sad it is, that we as people don't listen to men. Just like women, men need to be able to release hurt and be free of pain. This is why so many men give up. They know no one has their backs. My sons know my husband and I are there when no one else is.
I see each of you devine men! I ADORE you all. There are the rare of us women who worship you in all your devinity! Without each of you, we would not be here walking this earth today. You are the best men since GenX! Please don't ever give up and love what I see in each of you!
Being the oldest son of a divorced mother....responsibility of a man was forced on me at a young age. Now in my 50s I have always been expected to provide, protect and always be fine. I have eaten most of my sorrows and pain my entire life for fear of being seen as weak or useless. " I'm fine" is gonna be chiseled on my headstone.
I was also the oldest child. Early on, I had to take responsibility of looking after my younger siblings when my mom turned to hard drugs and alcohol. I have spent my entire life since looking out for everyone else. I didn't know I was supposed to happy too. I'll be 41 next week. The ONLY happiness I have is taking care of my son. I will give everything to try to make sure he has a chance at happiness and peace.
The "son-husband" syndrome....Coach Greg Adams speaks about this.
Change friends, so you do not turn into leftists feminist 🐈. The world will not going to build it self. Be strong, the force be with you.
@@chmc2310 I grew up with an alcoholic mother as well. I was the third child however and often locked myself in my bedroom to try to escape the hard truth that I would someday have to face. I’m now 21, and I honestly can’t believe that my older brother (the eldest of the family) gets trash talked behind his back by my other family members. I feel like he’s the one I can feel closest to as the only other guy among the four children in our family. Things are better now I guess, family members talk better about him. But I’ll always remember him regardless of what he does or becomes as the marshmallow with the tough exterior and a great sense of humor.
TLDR: Don’t forget about your older siblings. They’re always there for you and they honestly deserve more credit.
I'm a single Mom to a son. All I can say is we wanted better for you. We do our best, and there's no one there for us either