Asking questions like these are important if you’re talking to somebody because it makes you looks like you care, helps build a connection and makes you look like you’re interested in her/him. But just like Courtney said, you have to be genuine about it.
Yes, and it's hopefully because you are actually curious and DO care not just trying to look like you care. 🙂 gravitating toward your natural curiosity with questions feels best.
1. What does a typical day look like for you? 2. What are you most passionate about at the moment? 3. What is your favorite thing about where you grew up? 4. Have you traveled much, or do you want to? 5. What is your favorite way to spend your weekends? 6. What is something you want to learn or wish you were better at?
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
@@adamsirin7249 no one said she’s trying to fix it. She’s just trying to expose the bull shit and she does it very well You’re right about working hard and avoiding dating in the 20s, but don’t be so dismissive about it
@@adamsirin7249 That's very bad advice to give other men. You should be dating when you're younger such as your late teens and into your 20s. Everyone nowadays is waiting until they're in their early to mid 30s at least, before they even think about starting a family and getting married, and that's assuming they do at all, which many don't. Young people need to start families. If young people aren't starting families then your civilization is dying.
@@zombieslayer7759 Very unfortunate, but it is important to live in reality. The female brain is not competent at withstanding propaganda continuously pushed on them by social media. They are not efficient in critical thinking like males are. Thus, they'll always chase their hypergamous dreams and compete for a _few_ guys, whilst rejecting men who are their ideal suitors. Those men would've wasted their time and mood, courting these women. Better to wait till these women realise that their losing their essual marketplace value.
Courting is what needs to make a comeback. The point of talking and dating is to determine marriage compatibility. Like it or not, hobbies are not what make or break your relationship, principles are. Our grandparents hardly had any hobbies in common because men were men and women were women, theyre just different. At the end of the day, their principles are what kept them together. Obviously couples should do stuff together, but that isnt the make or break.
I both agree & disagree about "hobbies". Our grandparents did not consider cooking, gardening, auto repair, electrical repair as "hobbies". But, most single adults (i.e late 20s & above) do consider these "hobbies". Nothing wrong with that, it's just where they lie in the conversation. I noticed that when "hobbies" come up, most immediately leap to things that make us appear exciting. We start talking about the grand & the exotic. I learned to categorize. When someone asks me about my "hobbies" I ask if they want the grand & exciting or the quiet & domestic. The dude usually laughs & asks for the quiet & domestic. Also, I learned that I wanted a man to have hobbies that can involve a child. I briefly dated a man who had been married before with 2 young boys. When I asked him about "hobbies" he discussed golf. He said that he played a lot of golf while his marriage was dissolving, to stay away from the house. I immediately thought about the 2 young boys. I dwelled on this thought a lot. That's how I decided compatible hobbies for me could involve young children -- hiking, fishing, biking. Even something that requires a hobby garage. While power tools aren't exactly conducive for 5 year old, he is still available & on property.
Here is the thing. 1.The woman could lie about everything which is normal, and they boast about doing. 2. since she sees men as toxic, she could say, quit mansplaining and why are you asking me so many questions? Your making me feel uncomfortable, I'm calling the police. 3. This sounds like an interview and men never speak like this. Courtney is asking a man to talk like a woman and we don't.
Agree, however friendship in marriage is something that can increase your good times together, Yes it’s storge love which is one of the 4 loves is the most strongest, way stronger then friendship or Eros love
These are common questions a therapist asks a new client. Also it is important to understand , to a woman, everything begins with "you are a toxic straight male."
A question I REALLY like and has sparked some of the best conversations I’ve had this past year, “If you could travel through time and space, where would you go and what would you want to see?” You can really get to know someone in how they respond to that, but it’s also just a fun conversation, and can often be a great way to find things in common and get to know each other, rather than just listening to someone talk about themselves.
That's a fun question to ponder this could lead to a multifaceted conversation about different topics and definitely get an idea about the person's interests. Although I would probably leave out space lol. Well done 👍🏻.
One thing to add, don’t just ask questions like an interrogation. Women love to speak let her guide the conversation, throw a follow up question showing her you’re engaged in the conversation and receptive to what she is telling you. Women love to be heard and a man that remembers particular things such as projects at work, home anything.
That's what I ask people at a restaurant, or on the sidewalk around town, or at the tennis club. It's amazing how nasty people get in their responses, and so I develop an intrusive independent assertive self-confidence as a result. True love means letting everyone scorn you, for caring enough to ask personal questions.
Courtney's perspective is spot-on. In my work on vulnerability and connection, I often emphasize the importance of approaching interactions with a sense of genuine curiosity and openness. This is especially relevant in the context of a first date, where the goal is to establish a connection that's both authentic and meaningful. The questions Courtney suggests are not just conversation starters. They are windows into the soul of the person you're engaging with. For instance, asking about a typical day in someone's life offers insight into their daily routines and priorities, which can say a lot about who they are and what they value. It's an invitation to share stories and experiences, rather than just facts. Similarly, inquiring about passions or what someone is currently excited about goes beyond the surface. It touches on what makes them feel alive, what drives them, and what brings joy to their life. This is where true connection begins - in understanding and relating to each other's passions and joys. The emphasis on asking about favorite things from childhood, travel aspirations, weekend preferences, and areas for personal growth moves the conversation into deeper territory. It's about understanding their background, dreams, and aspirations. These topics encourage sharing of personal stories and experiences, which fosters a deeper level of intimacy and understanding. In essence, Courtney's approach aligns with the principles of wholehearted living that I advocate. It's about engaging with others from a place of authenticity, empathy, and vulnerability. This not only enriches the dating experience but also lays the groundwork for meaningful, long-lasting relationships. Remember, it's not just about the questions you ask, but also about how you listen and respond. Being genuinely interested in the answers, showing empathy, and sharing your own experiences in return can turn a simple date into the beginning of a beautiful connection.
I really like asking the question "what was the best compliment somebody ever gave you?" It shows what they value in themselves and how they see themselves. Also it helps predict future actions and may give insight on why they do the things they do.
@MindBuddies I pay attention to three things: How quickly they answer and how confident their tone is for their answer and what they actually answer with. Slow responses indicate the person is either nervous and may have self esteem issues or they may just be introspective and deep thinkers. Fast responses are spontaneous and prepared or anxious and impulsive. Tone is another confidence indicator. Do they get excited? Do they seem uncomfortable? Are they bored by the question? Are they impressed by the question? Does it sound like the answer they are saying is what is the truth or are they saying what they think you want to hear? It's implied, we do run the risk of misinterpreting them but what does your gut tell you about the answer? And then what they answer with indicates what they value about themselves: Looks, skills, accomplishments, dreams. A lot of this is seeing if you have something in common with the other person and if you respect what they value.
That's a good one. Just an alternative idea: "Please tell me about a compliment you were given and that you like to remember." The question for "the best" might block some women because they go into judging too much. But perhaps that's different for US vs. European ways to communicate.
I LOVE the question: “What are you most passionate about at the moment?” It will offer deeper insight about what motivates her currently and as you said Courtney, it will lead me to discovering quite quickly if we are compatible. Excellent content!!
@@jdanon203 If you’re trying to assess compatibility, finding out what the other person is interested in is an important step. Plus it puts them in a positive emotional state.
@@jdanon203all of these kinda sound like job interview questions when you don’t add context. I wouldn’t use these as a list that you go down, checking off each question as you go. Maybe use 1 to start and see where the conversation goes. If you use these as a guideline rather than a tool, it’s going to sound robotic.
really ? and when a woman decides to test you and shrugs her shoulders and looks away from you in silence then what do you do ? they ddont tell you how to pass a womans confidence test, they dont tell you what to do if she is bratty, being compatible doesnt matter in the least when your trying to get a gf or sex, your an idiot if you think so.
☀ 1. 0:57 What does a typical day look like for you? 2. 1:37 What are you most passionate about at the moment? 3. 2:57 What is your favourite thing about where you grew up? 4. 3:22 Have you travelled much - or do you want to? 5. 3:50 What is your favourite way to spend your weekends? 6. 5:10 What is something you want to learn, or wish you were good at? ✨
Sheesh, it's far more important to listen to the answer than it is to ask the question. The questions can be almost anything, but a thoughtful and considerate response to the answer is what REALLY counts.
Guys, if she can’t cook but loves to go out to eat, If she does not keep a clean tidy home but looks like a million bucks, If she into (un)reality shows but has no interest in the arts, If she keeps her cell phone on her and constantly flicks thru it texting, If she has tats, shows her body curves by the outfits she wears, If she is any of the above, don’t bother asking any questions…run the other way…she ain’t worth your time. You don’t want a female, You don’t want a woman, You want a lady. A lady that knows how be a woman in private always remaining a lady thereafter…. ;)
I've never been married. There was an engagement that went went south. After that experience along with another one right a year after where I had of all things a seizure, with a girl, let's call her "Kristie"that I thought to myself, "Maybe I had to go through that heartbreaking stuff with my engagement going south, to find her". I had a health scare, my one and only seizure in my life. It put me in the hospital for 5 days. This woman, walks into my hospital room, where I'm a nervous wreck. When I see her walk in that fear and anxiety disappears. She walks up to my bed, holding a box. I start by telling her, how incredible it is seeing her right now and that this is something we can work through. She looks me dead in the eye and says, " You're talking like we are married. We are not. Here are clothes and other items you left at my place. You are no longer welcome there. I won't put the safety of my children at risk with someone who never told me they had such a condition". I tell her this was a one time event. There is no history in my family of this. Her previous BF had lied about just everything to her and this woman was looking for any flaw I had. In her eyes I was to good to be true. The seizure was the flaw. I really thought I found something and some one special. She added if I do have to show up for anything to call her first. If I didn't do this, she'd get a restraining order. Her mom threw in, because she missed it with her ex as well, that I was a monster and a freak. This scrambled my brain for a very long time. It was the second punch within a year, that crushed me. My question would be has someone damaged you so much from your previous relationship that you are looking for any flaw in the next person that you missed from your last to project them onto me?
Also when asked why I've never been married, I shoot back, in a joking, but hard jab, "Why did you get divorced?" Casually date gentlemen, that's my advice. All of the good ones are taken. But if you must..ask her, "What would she consider her greatest weakness". If they can't answer that... run
This video is perfectly timed. Got myself a dinner date tommorow directly after work and some of these ideas will help break the ice a lot with her I'm hoping.
You are wise beyond your years Courtney! I am older and totally agree especially being older as I look for direct and intriguing questions over the more popular “hey”
Definitely talk about and ask questions about her. Women love talking about themselves more than money. Maybe? The conversation will go much smoother if your tall, handsome, muscular, with the appearance of wealth and status. Actually if you don't meet her requirements, don't worry about the conversation.
But you won't know what her requirements are until you talk to her. If she won't talk to you, there's your answer. Whatever she is looking for, you ain't got it.
I found the best question is to ask: what do you do when you are really upset, or angry? If she can't answer right away it means that she doesn't want you to know how bad things can get, and in the other hand it can also tells you if she can get angry and at the same time control her emotions. This is important as there will be lots of discussions (or fights) in a relationship. If she is inmature and can't handle herself, is better to know ahead of time.
Uhoh, dangerous. If you meet a woman who knows to manipulate with words. And this one is not too hard to see through. (On the other hand if she is quite intelligent she might be put off by such a move who assumes she's stupid ....)
Why don’t anyone ever talk about how to attract Men? It seems to me that in our society women are always the prize to be won and it’s the man’s job to do that! To me that’s not equal is it To be equal you must act equal !!
If it comes to average woman, certainly yea. But the most attractive women certainly go for genetically superior men only, since almost every guy wants them and there is incredible competition. An angelina Jolie type lady will accept very few men who are below the status of a Christiano Ronaldo.
2 things should be happening on a first dating basis, you should ask generalized questions to measure compatibility( intimate questions come later) , next make your boundaries of what you want from a relationship crystal clear to one another so there is zero confusion moving forward
@@jleano609 if I make my boundaries clear and she does the same, and if we decide that were not on the same page for a relationship, we have saved ourselves both lots of time energy and money moving forward, if there is a 2nd date we obviously got a lot of the same values and commonalities which helps us build rapport long term
@@andersnielsen6044 I guess that depends on what you define as intimacy but for first date I’m not sure I’d put too much emphasis on intimacy at all. The GOAT Doc Love was fairly clear. Do not initiate intimacy until the second date. However if she initiates reward her good behavior. This gives you a good baseline for her attraction. Many girls are pretty shy and will not initiate until they are comfortable. Some Dating Coaches have pushed this to a kiss test at the end of the first date. I used a hybrid approach back in the day. Hug when you meet at the start of the first date, hug at the end. Monitor the differences. If you can clearly sense an escalation at the end hug and she turns her face in kiss her, if not, don’t. If you then like the girl she gets one more date and you’re kissing her at the end, or sooner again if she initiates.
The first date explains what your looking for in my opinion. I took my wife to a restaurant and turned off my phone, for example. These are blind date questions. Asking these are the same reasons married at first site stresses me out. Every time things are going good and flowing one person who stop the moment by asking one of these questions. My advice dont ask a pre-determined set of questions, make a declarative statement "im nervous and excited, i really like this restaurant have you been here before? The goal should be to see if you can make eachother laugh and be happy without any sensual things taking place." Just an opinion
@MindBuddies if it were me, I would settle alot from the invitation.Accomplish the awardness beforehand of"what do we do" and "making sensual exploration not the goal." I have been asked by my kids who they should be with/married too. I always say "what the relationship starts with will determine what its based on." So my goal would be how happy are they with me and can we laugh? So the invite sets the tone example, "hi I've herd of this new place that has a variety of things to do;bowling, games etc." Any person would wear more of a comfortable attire. So this is when tye questions would feel more natural cause it's appropriate to ask... you both walk in to a place with all these options "what would you like to try first, you get answers on how they treat you, food preferences, lifestyle, and how they act around all types of people. This way alot of the questions you don't have to ask just pay attention to what is happening. It's more natural and I believe you get more. I hope this helps.
Courtney, I found you a week ago & I just love listening to you. You REALLY, understand men! Thank you for offering such good advice, specific examples and not criticizing men for their ignorance & stupid things they do. I feel like you care about men & that you want to help us. Thank you! I ordered my Ice Roller on your first video. I have several things that I will be working on...
As a guy who opens up easy one question I would like to get to connect more with a partner is... "What is your relationship with your mom?" Even though is a bit of sadness for me in that question and answer too, the bottom line is that once I talk about this deeply personal subject I can connect much easier with my girl (and vice-versa: if she agrees to open up about her relationship with her father...that would be great - but patience is necessary, for both of us).
Courtney, this is such helpful content! Great question to figure out if she just matched/swiped out of boredome or real curiosity about the person behind the profil! As you mentioned , this opens up so many key followup question to fugure out really fast if the other person matches your energie or is likely to be compatible with you! keep this kind of helpful and valuable input for us/men going! English is not my mother tongue, so bare with me in regards to grammar or typos!
Thanks Courtney, I believe those are the most easiest questions to ask someone but as we go through situations in life, we lose forget about the simplest things in life like interacting with people.
Asking questions, telling stories, making jokes, key word jumping, association jamming - without a script. Most times it is hours of conversation with a fun girl, 5 minutes of torture with a typical NPC widget. A great girl will connect in moments of silence. For me this has always happened in a foreign language; never in English, never with a Yankee.
@yungkaos3500 What you are saying is mostly the truth, my friend.. However.. I've had more than a few relationships where the woman made the first move to talk to me.. I have a date friday with a woman.I met who spoke to me first because she loved the music That was blasting from my speakers... She even said she's glad she had the guts to speak to me..😂😅😊
Those are good questions. I would HIGHLY recommend covering these areas in chat or on a call PRIOR to a first date. In addition, I normally ask about their relationship status and how previous relationships ended. Emotionally mature women don't mind discussing this. But sometimes you can sense the anger here. Spirituality and/or religion is a good area. Women who lack spirituality generally struggle with values like honesty, monogamy, and independence. My favorite question is "What is your idea of a good sex life?" In my opinion this is THE most important compatibility question, as what is the purpose of a man/woman relationship if ideas/frequency about sex vastly differ. Again, emotionally mature women don't mind discussing this. Exercise habits and diet is a good area too because women who don't exercise and eat crap food are terrible in bed. It's important to learn about each other as much as possible before the first date because why waste each other's time? This one girl interrogated me for an hour in chat (LOL) before we even talked, and we talked for hours before we met in person. Our first date was spectacular! And that was a year and half ago. We're still together. But I rejected a boatload of women through chat and talking because I just felt we wouldn't be compatible, especially sexually. So, talk to them first before you date them, and both people will have a much better time.
@@Matasky2010 OK. FYI: Asking probing questions is a common SALES technique. Its called "qualifying the prospect" to see if there is a good fit. It works. But you need to know what you are looking for in a prospect and be able to carry a conversation. I know what I'm looking for so it's easy for me. And I do text, phone or videos calls to determine if there might be a good fit. If they don't want to talk through text or phone, I move on. I don't want a woman who can't talk. So figure out what you want and qualify, qualify, qualify!
Eventhough I don't I dont agree with some of what your wrote here, I can't leave without admiring your initiation to write this much to help people. bravo.
1. What kind of music do you like? 2. What is your favourite book? 3. What is your earliest memory? 4. What is your social security number? 5. What do you think about a man with only one ball? Do you think he has two strikes against him?
I tend to be more social depending on what my setting is. If this were to be a date, my mind usually overflows with similar questions to ask. When I first met someone I matched with on Facebook dating this year, I already knew what I wanted to talk about. Best of all, we were able to hold different conversations the entire time we saw each other.
Been coming to you for advice and can genuinely apply it. Have been asking these questions to women and they’re asking me out!? Your magic works. Love you content as a man, advice like this is rare.
Folks, whether you are a woman or a man, simply listen to the other person, think, and ask positive, relevant follow-up questions to understand them. Show empathy, show support, and show interest. See what they get excited about when they talk. See what they dislike. There is no preset of questions that can beat a genuine conversation and you will actually find out a lot more about the other person.
Best questions to ask a woman? Word of advice . . . Don’t. Don’t ask her anything! Instead, tell her that you don’t have time for her. You’ll be amazed how well women respond to this type of behavior.
Thanks Courtney 😊I'm 33 and feel like i'm clueless about women still. This channel really helps. I'm constantly trying to learn and be better at this stuff 😊
1. What is your body count 2. Are you responsible with your finances 3. What was your upbringing like 4. Do you have a good relationship with your father 5. Why did your last relationships fail 6. What are your expectations for a healthy LTR Bonus Questions: Do you think for yourself, or just parrot leftist talking points Does your social media look like an ad for girls gone wild
Good Questions but you will never get honest answers to any of them, and only get answers to them after dating her for a long period of time and finding out for yourself!
Answers to your questions: 1) take her body count # and multiply by 4. 2) see if she contributes to the cost of the date. 3) her attitude will answer this. 4)you actually lived with your father & mother wow! 5) Tell me how horrible your last boyfriends treated you. 6) Is there any chance we, or any other American couple, can have a successful LTR nowadays?
I remember being on a date a few months ago and the chick I was with asked me the first question on this list. Great question. The rest of the conversation we had that night pretty much piggy backed off that question and we ended up going on multiple dates afterwards. Courtney dropping bangers, AGAIN
This video is great for anyone looking for advice on how to connect with women and keep conversations going. Courtney Ryan provides helpful questions to ask that can help ease the pressure and ensure the conversation is genuine.
Anything that gets someone to talk about themselves is always a great start. I think it helps to be relaxed and sincere when posing these questions and taking a genuine interest in everything the lady says. That means paying attention, maintaining eye contact and gently interacting. Hopefully, at the end of the date she will think you are a great conversationalist, when you have actually been an attentive listener. Fingers crossed that she is one too!
You don't need to impress others... up to the point, where you want something from them (a date, a job, a relationship, etc.). After that, you are making an impression, one way or the other, so it's in your best interests for it to be a good one.
7. Have you been to therapy? 8. Do you have a history of domestic violence? 9. Do you have a history of substance abuse? 10. Have you ever had an abortion? 11. Are you taking any prescribed medication? 12. Have you ever been tested for an STD?
To be fair.. most of these questions don't feel very natural to me as stand-alone questions. I feel it's probably better to lead the conversation to the point these questions are natural. Here is how I would ask all these 6 questions. 1) Let's say you are on a first date. The first thing you could ask is how her day or week was and what she spent her time on that week. You can usually spot if it was a regular week or something special happened, but you never assume you are correct on that. Next you repeat what she said to make sure she knows you listened and are interested, you know you aren't making any assumptions, and you don't come over as judgmental (which might cause her to be defensive, something you always want to avoid). By reflecting her words you will usually trigger her to open up more immediately. She will automatically start to feel more comfortable and maybe even reveal how a typical day/week looks for her, but if not you can in always then probe further by asking her if that's how her typical day/week looks. 2) After learning what she did that day/week and hearing her out on what her typical day/week looks you can continue with question two. An example on how to do that is: "So you work/paint/work out/etc. a lot, is that something you are passionate about?" You again showed you are listening carefully, aren't jumping to conclusions even though you just summarized what she revealed about herself and are really interested in knowing what she is interested in. Because of this it is really easy for her to open up very quickly and give you lots of information. She is likely to ask if you are interested in it as well, on which you should always answer genuinely. If you share interests you have enough to talk about for a long time, but if you aren't you should be careful not to trivialize her passion. The more information she gave to you the easier it is to pick out one or two things she said which you are actually interested in and have her continue talking about it. 3) You now can ask one of the following follow-up questions: "have you always been passionate about this" or "Since when have you been interested in this". These are examples of follow-up question that could steer the conversation to talk about things she liked/did in the past. Showing interest in her past and letting her talk about the past will have her talk about the environment she grew up in the majority of the time. You have to listen well, repeat what she said often to show you are still listening and are still interested and from there on out you can lead the conversation into asking more about her childhood or teenage years. This makes it more natural to ask what she liked most about where she grew up or if she has fond memories about where she grew up. By having her talk about the good things that happened to her when she was young she will feel more comfortable. 4) Asking where she likes to travel or what her favorite holiday was is something that is pretty natural to ask. When she is already talking about her past it is easy to continue talking about holidays (which are usually fond memories anyway). You can then easily switch to talking about travels she is still planning to do or things she still wants to see or do. Questions 5 and 6 are question to keep the conversation flowing in my opinion. The scenario I painted up until now is obviously not going to unfold word for word and sometimes she doesn't have much to say about something. Here is when you can use these questions to have the conversation flow more naturally, while still showing a deep interest in what she does. When she is talking about how her typical day looks, you can easily ask her what she does over the weekends, or more general with her free time, but it's a question of timing it right to get most out of it. IAnd if she is talking about her passions or things she is still planning to do she will usually reveal something she is interested in learning about or improving in. In my opinion it's not smart to just ask these questions as a stand-alone question, because if the girl hasn't opened up enough yet you will receive short answers. The trick to a good conversation is listening and taking the time to make sure she knows you are listening and not judging her. When she has opened up you can also add in some humor, without having her react defensively.
I really like this! Thank you for the video. If I were asked most of these, I'd be very happy to answer particularly because it is something "I" as an individual am deliberately involved in and not something that is sociologically imposed on me. I especially like the 'What is something you wish you were good at?" because it allows for a person to say something and be humble about it so no fragile toes are stepped on
This one is definitely more of a me-thing, but I do find this to be important for my overall ability to engage with a relationship long term: As a geek turned actor & writer, a big part of my love language is showing each other our favourite (and sometimes not so favourite) TV Shows & Movies, so I think discussing our tastes/overall interest & engagement in media is really important to me. I'm open-minded to basically any story or genre, so long as it's well-written, so finding someone similar is pretty important to me. I don't need someone with identical tastes, mind you (how boring!), as I love that magical experience of either showing someone or being shown a movie for the first time (or having them show me), but if it's clear they just wouldn't have any interest in watching Star Trek, for example, that'd probably be a no-go for me as far as long term prospects are concerned.
indeed, sharing passions/discovering shared passions and such is essential if someone likes Friends and Harry Potter, we're just not on the same level in so many ways immediately discernable
Also, asking "deep"-'er type questions like this, and her answers are like one-liners and clearly not giving much thought to it... gives you the HUGE clue to move on and not waste your time! The ones that are even half-interested will spark up, like she alludes to, and get more interested and engaging.
I'm sorry, but most of these questions just sound like a more social variation of a job interview where someone asks you to define yourself. They may sound great to you, but to me, they come across like one person thinks they are clever and are looking to see if the other person gives you the "right" answers. I would not try to ask someone questions that actually made me feel awkward the first time I heard them. I don't want to have to explain my passions or justify the way I live my daily life on the very first date, nor would I ask someone else to do so (that can always come later when things are beginning to get serious). I really just want to know more about who this person is and what sort of things she might like to do with me. I can learn the rest from there if she's interested. It's just my opinion, but I don't think some of these questions would impress a woman so much as they would scare her off.
I like these 6 questions. By asking questions starting with a WHAT, it makes it possible for the woman to elaborate and gives insights about her. Instead of a yes or no question that tends to stop the possibility of elaborating. She might have her own questions for the guy. But you're right Courtney, women want to feel connected and centered in the date. Some of the answers to these questions might also telegraph her true interests and perhaps be something that could lead to a second date? Which if the date is going well the man could ask, When are we going on our second date? Let's plan that now. It could also be that the vibe is not being felt and no second date is in the cards. I know one question I would probably ask is what type of comedy does she enjoy? Who are some of her favorite stand up comics and why? Then for me I would mention male and female comedians that truly make me laugh. That subject could open up a entire category of fun things to talk about. 😃
Nice one, Courtney! All of these are straight up bangers of questions (the best). For me, one thing I'd like to be asked is "How did you become so passionate about game design?". The reason for this is because it really does define me as a person, as a content creator, and as a hard worker in general.
If you are just natural funny as hell I don't think it matters much, most girls love to laugh out loud! I've started to really binge watch your channel to get a better perspective of the female species.
Hopefully some that I ask will be covered here because if you are creative enough you can learn what you want without being Direct and putting her on the spot causing her to come up with the best answer possible instead of the real answer
A girl who likes you don’t need any of this .. the girl who comes curiously to see if you fit her plans .. would be bored whatever you do. The right advice .. let things happen naturally when you meet a girl if it matches it works that’s all. Otherwise go away.. don’t spend your time with people with whom you feel like you’re in a fight.
Courtney, you're content is crazy good and extremely helpful! I appreciate so much your focus on self improvement and healthy relationships. I learn so much from you! Keep the greatness coming! 👍
Courtney is an absolute gem on TH-cam. Her content is always useful and she is a delight to watch. There are two types of content producers. Those that give just enough valuable information as a "foot in the door" to sell their products on their websites and content producers, like Courtney who are above all authentic and don't try to sell you anything. A hideous example of the former is Kezia noble who makes the ridiculous claim of being, " The world's leading female dating expert for men" and every video is a marketing tool for her services on her website. Courtney will never end up with an inflated, obnoxious personality like Kenza. www.youtube.com/@Kezianobledatingexpert/about
I got you you know I might have been closed on some things but this helped me an awful lot thank you so much I you know I can't be anything less than that I realized that in the chat room all of a sudden I start letting things off my shoulder that we're getting in my way it's so funny but it's important to me and I appreciate the good information that you gave❤
Courtney is right. Take it from someone who knows. I had a girl ask me these same questions at a bar. And it kept us engaged for at least an hour and half, before she had to go. But they were interesting questions that allowed me to tell her about where I was going in life.
This should work both ways and women should explore good questions for the guys. If a woman shows no interest and doesn’t reciprocate questions, that is an indicator of no interest in me.
I just discovered your channel recently and am really enjoying it. This is a comment more on a bunch of videos rather than just this video. I also very rarely comment at all on videos.I have already taken some advice. You have a great way of communicating your points. Others doing the same thing are either over animated or just not great at making their point.
What I really like about these questions, is I learn the most about someone when they will tell me a story about themselves with some emotional connection for them. When I interview people at work in addition to the regular factual type questions I will basically ask them to tell me some war stories about past projects. These are great questions to get to those stories about themselves that carry real meaning to them.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash.
This is a VERY good video idea, not just for talking to women, but for developing any relationships. I myself made a list of “genuine” questions to ask friends and women I meet bc I am SO against small talk, and I actually arrived at some of the exact same questions you did! What are you most passionate about, how do you spend your free time, what’s a skill you wish you had are my favorites. This doesn’t just make conversations interesting, it also indicates you actually care about who someone is and that YOU are genuine/authentic. Meeting women and hearing what they’re passionate about is very fulfilling to me bc I actually love people in general, and if you can’t ask good questions to women you’re missing 50% of the excitement that is sharing human passion and interest (yes women have passions too). I also have some friends that I am not around as much anymore and don’t have much to share with them as I did before, so I tried asking them what skills they wish they had and it reignited the conversation and revealed things I never knew about very long time friends. Edit: I’ll add that people who have trouble giving proper/honest answers to any of these questions are not worth staying around or continuing to talk to. They may be unsure or need to think more about it, but it’s easy to tell when their answers are inauthentic.
There is a girl who serves at a restaurant near my apartment and I’ve been trying to court her for the past two weekends now. I know that most men overestimate the degree to which a woman is interested in them, so I’m trying not to make the mistake. But I think she is interested. She spends a good amount of time at my table entertaining me and we have lots of eye contact. I can’t wait to ask her one of these questions 🙂
Love your content Courtney, I've been hurting because I asked someone and was told they only see me as a friend. I know the "normal" advice is to move on and I've done that before, but I'm struggling here because I've never met someone in my whole life I can relate to so much (guy or girl). We have crazy similarities in personalities, behaviours, thoughts etc I can second guess her most times. Sadly this isn't important to her it seems, she's usually been compassionate but ever since I asked her she's acting indifferent, as if I did some crime. I'm trying to learn from your videos, it's been hard so far.
my answer: I love you too much to ever start liking you, so don't exect me to be your friend. LOBO then walk away, and don't go back.. she had her chance.
@@dket2571 Thanks for sharing that. I agree that could be a thing to do. Unfortunately I find myself in a situation where she's the only meaningful friend in my life, for reasons beyond my control. So I want to stay friends with her for atleast a little while until I rebuild my life. The most important thing is for me to find evidence that I can be happy with someone else, which is hard because I could relate to her so much, she made me realise important things about me I'd forgotten for years.
@@wishtrack1087 And staying is preventing you from finding better next time. I've been there, done that. There IS a next time, and its ok to mourn the loss. Don't look for the next relationship, get on with your life. build your strength, emotionally and physically. Rebuild your life, then someone will find you (women want strong mates). Try watching better bachelor, he'll help.
Omg this just happened to me last week too, after the first date. When I said I liked her and tried to ask for a second meeting she told me she don't mind seeing me again but maybe on a friendly basis rather than dating. And something along the lines of unsure if she is compatible with me. This is extremely saddening as I've put in so much effort only to get to this stage. I don't think I could stay as friends with her because I view her as something more.
@@everythingalsoYUI And every date with her is a a date wasted. Don't be nasty, politely tell her you are looking for more, then excuse yourself and leave, and don't look back. The woman knows who she wants... and it ain't you. You're just the "fill in".
1. What's your body count, 2. How many hundreds of thousand in College loan debt do you have 3. Can you cook? 4. Clean 5. Do you want kids? 6. How many dates until i get lucky?
Listen guys, let's forget all the bullshit. The Fat Bat 🦇 is going to give it to you straight! Either you got the magic, or you ain't got the magic. And if you have a long streak of failed attempts, you can pretty much assume you ain't got it. Just try to get as much enjoyment out of life as you can, but things aren't ever going to change for you no matter how many videos of Courtney Ryan (or anyone else) you watch on TH-cam.
I agree. However, people in general refuse to accept they may not be dating material. That said, the money to be made creating these vids keeps them rolling out. As you stated, it's not just Courtney, it's everyone.
1. What does a typical day look like for you? 2. What are you most passionate about at the moment? 3. What is your favorite thing about where you grew up? 4. Have you traveled much, or do you want to? 5. What is your favorite way to spend your weekends? 6. What is something you want to learn or wish you were better at?
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
Asking questions like these are important if you’re talking to somebody because it makes you looks like you care, helps build a connection and makes you look like you’re interested in her/him. But just like Courtney said, you have to be genuine about it.
🙌🏼 spot on
Yes, and it's hopefully because you are actually curious and DO care not just trying to look like you care. 🙂 gravitating toward your natural curiosity with questions feels best.
"looks like, sounds like, feels like"
Turn the "like" into "is, are, am."
@@CourtneyRyan shut up Courtney
The point is you should actually care
1. What does a typical day look like for you?
2. What are you most passionate about at the moment?
3. What is your favorite thing about where you grew up?
4. Have you traveled much, or do you want to?
5. What is your favorite way to spend your weekends?
6. What is something you want to learn or wish you were better at?
I would add: what is your vision of family?
Would you date an average man?
My answers to all but #4 are yikes so I never really thought about asking others those questions
How much do you think I earn? What's your view of prenups? Are you a gold digger? What do you bring to the table?
thanks for this
"Can you loan me some money?" is another great way to break the ice.
Or, I don't get paid until Friday, do you mind picking the tab?
Dude, I actually had my baby mama to pay for my fast food on a drunk night out. (I got my shit stolen that night, but I was broken either way)
My Mom is also my Dad's sister.....it always worked. Good luck.
@@bixizapatero8256tf
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
Bot.
@@realmrknight😂bro
@@Fri.day08 definitely a bot
it is a bot, but how does it get so many likes I wonder
I always like how you're trying to be a positive force in the dating community. Huge respect.
🥹❤️ this means so much to me. Thank you!
Lmao. The dating community cannot be fixed. Males, work hard, avoiding dating in your 20s.
Maybe THINK about dating when you're 33.
@@adamsirin7249 no one said she’s trying to fix it. She’s just trying to expose the bull shit and she does it very well
You’re right about working hard and avoiding dating in the 20s, but don’t be so dismissive about it
@@adamsirin7249 That's very bad advice to give other men. You should be dating when you're younger such as your late teens and into your 20s. Everyone nowadays is waiting until they're in their early to mid 30s at least, before they even think about starting a family and getting married, and that's assuming they do at all, which many don't. Young people need to start families. If young people aren't starting families then your civilization is dying.
@@zombieslayer7759 Very unfortunate, but it is important to live in reality.
The female brain is not competent at withstanding propaganda continuously pushed on them by social media. They are not efficient in critical thinking like males are. Thus, they'll always chase their hypergamous dreams and compete for a _few_ guys, whilst rejecting men who are their ideal suitors. Those men would've wasted their time and mood, courting these women. Better to wait till these women realise that their losing their essual marketplace value.
Literally teaching people how to communicate and have actual conversations. Love it, keep up the great work.
It's kind of pathetic...but thank you for doing this. I have gotten some value out of your videos.
Women are the ones who need this advice. Not men.
Courting is what needs to make a comeback. The point of talking and dating is to determine marriage compatibility. Like it or not, hobbies are not what make or break your relationship, principles are. Our grandparents hardly had any hobbies in common because men were men and women were women, theyre just different. At the end of the day, their principles are what kept them together. Obviously couples should do stuff together, but that isnt the make or break.
I agree. But if courtship is the road to success, social media is clogging up the streets.
I both agree & disagree about "hobbies". Our grandparents did not consider cooking, gardening, auto repair, electrical repair as "hobbies". But, most single adults (i.e late 20s & above) do consider these "hobbies". Nothing wrong with that, it's just where they lie in the conversation.
I noticed that when "hobbies" come up, most immediately leap to things that make us appear exciting. We start talking about the grand & the exotic. I learned to categorize. When someone asks me about my "hobbies" I ask if they want the grand & exciting or the quiet & domestic. The dude usually laughs & asks for the quiet & domestic.
Also, I learned that I wanted a man to have hobbies that can involve a child. I briefly dated a man who had been married before with 2 young boys. When I asked him about "hobbies" he discussed golf. He said that he played a lot of golf while his marriage was dissolving, to stay away from the house. I immediately thought about the 2 young boys. I dwelled on this thought a lot. That's how I decided compatible hobbies for me could involve young children -- hiking, fishing, biking. Even something that requires a hobby garage. While power tools aren't exactly conducive for 5 year old, he is still available & on property.
Here is the thing. 1.The woman could lie about everything which is normal, and they boast about doing. 2. since she sees men as toxic, she could say, quit mansplaining and why are you asking me so many questions? Your making me feel uncomfortable, I'm calling the police. 3. This sounds like an interview and men never speak like this. Courtney is asking a man to talk like a woman and we don't.
Agree, however friendship in marriage is something that can increase your good times together,
Yes it’s storge love which is one of the 4 loves is the most strongest, way stronger then friendship or Eros love
These are common questions a therapist asks a new client. Also it is important to understand , to a woman, everything begins with "you are a toxic straight male."
A question I REALLY like and has sparked some of the best conversations I’ve had this past year, “If you could travel through time and space, where would you go and what would you want to see?”
You can really get to know someone in how they respond to that, but it’s also just a fun conversation, and can often be a great way to find things in common and get to know each other, rather than just listening to someone talk about themselves.
☝️☝️🤝☝️☝️
*CONGRATULATIONS* 🍾
*You are a lucky winner* 🍀
Send me a direct message on *TELEGRAM* to claim your prize 📦
Where would u go
Be realistic man. You don't talk those things to any normal person 🤔
In my experience, the word time and space means hippie or druggie lol girls has been taken back by that. Of course unless she's a hippie or a druggie
That's a fun question to ponder this could lead to a multifaceted conversation about different topics and definitely get an idea about the person's interests. Although I would probably leave out space lol. Well done 👍🏻.
One thing to add, don’t just ask questions like an interrogation. Women love to speak let her guide the conversation, throw a follow up question showing her you’re engaged in the conversation and receptive to what she is telling you. Women love to be heard and a man that remembers particular things such as projects at work, home anything.
Your First part and second part of the comment contradicts with each other....
My fav question to ask is "how do you like to be loved, what does love look like to you?"
Helllll na y’all trippin
That's what I ask people at a restaurant, or on the sidewalk around town, or at the tennis club.
It's amazing how nasty people get in their responses, and so I develop an intrusive independent assertive self-confidence as a result. True love means letting everyone scorn you, for caring enough to ask personal questions.
lol
Courtney's perspective is spot-on. In my work on vulnerability and connection, I often emphasize the importance of approaching interactions with a sense of genuine curiosity and openness. This is especially relevant in the context of a first date, where the goal is to establish a connection that's both authentic and meaningful.
The questions Courtney suggests are not just conversation starters. They are windows into the soul of the person you're engaging with. For instance, asking about a typical day in someone's life offers insight into their daily routines and priorities, which can say a lot about who they are and what they value. It's an invitation to share stories and experiences, rather than just facts.
Similarly, inquiring about passions or what someone is currently excited about goes beyond the surface. It touches on what makes them feel alive, what drives them, and what brings joy to their life. This is where true connection begins - in understanding and relating to each other's passions and joys.
The emphasis on asking about favorite things from childhood, travel aspirations, weekend preferences, and areas for personal growth moves the conversation into deeper territory. It's about understanding their background, dreams, and aspirations. These topics encourage sharing of personal stories and experiences, which fosters a deeper level of intimacy and understanding.
In essence, Courtney's approach aligns with the principles of wholehearted living that I advocate. It's about engaging with others from a place of authenticity, empathy, and vulnerability. This not only enriches the dating experience but also lays the groundwork for meaningful, long-lasting relationships.
Remember, it's not just about the questions you ask, but also about how you listen and respond. Being genuinely interested in the answers, showing empathy, and sharing your own experiences in return can turn a simple date into the beginning of a beautiful connection.
What if she tell lies just like Amber Turd?!
I really like asking the question "what was the best compliment somebody ever gave you?" It shows what they value in themselves and how they see themselves. Also it helps predict future actions and may give insight on why they do the things they do.
Love this one!
Simply brilliant. 👏
Seems logical as your user name is
@MindBuddies I pay attention to three things: How quickly they answer and how confident their tone is for their answer and what they actually answer with.
Slow responses indicate the person is either nervous and may have self esteem issues or they may just be introspective and deep thinkers. Fast responses are spontaneous and prepared or anxious and impulsive.
Tone is another confidence indicator. Do they get excited? Do they seem uncomfortable? Are they bored by the question? Are they impressed by the question? Does it sound like the answer they are saying is what is the truth or are they saying what they think you want to hear? It's implied, we do run the risk of misinterpreting them but what does your gut tell you about the answer?
And then what they answer with indicates what they value about themselves: Looks, skills, accomplishments, dreams. A lot of this is seeing if you have something in common with the other person and if you respect what they value.
That's a good one.
Just an alternative idea: "Please tell me about a compliment you were given and that you like to remember."
The question for "the best" might block some women because they go into judging too much.
But perhaps that's different for US vs. European ways to communicate.
I LOVE the question: “What are you most passionate about at the moment?” It will offer deeper insight about what motivates her currently and as you said Courtney, it will lead me to discovering quite quickly if we are compatible. Excellent content!!
Sounds like a job interview question. Why not just come right out and ask "what do you consider your weaknesses?"
Imagine if she said "keeping church out of government ".
@@jdanon203 If you’re trying to assess compatibility, finding out what the other person is interested in is an important step. Plus it puts them in a positive emotional state.
@@jdanon203all of these kinda sound like job interview questions when you don’t add context. I wouldn’t use these as a list that you go down, checking off each question as you go. Maybe use 1 to start and see where the conversation goes. If you use these as a guideline rather than a tool, it’s going to sound robotic.
really ? and when a woman decides to test you and shrugs her shoulders and looks away from you in silence then what do you do ? they ddont tell you how to pass a womans confidence test, they dont tell you what to do if she is bratty, being compatible doesnt matter in the least when your trying to get a gf or sex, your an idiot if you think so.
☀
1. 0:57 What does a typical day look like for you?
2. 1:37 What are you most passionate about at the moment?
3. 2:57 What is your favourite thing about where you grew up?
4. 3:22 Have you travelled much - or do you want to?
5. 3:50 What is your favourite way to spend your weekends?
6. 5:10 What is something you want to learn, or wish you were good at?
✨
Job interview.
Sheesh, it's far more important to listen to the answer than it is to ask the question. The questions can be almost anything, but a thoughtful and considerate response to the answer is what REALLY counts.
I love when women ask me if I play Call of duty, at 42 years old, this can start a conversation of over an hour with me
😂
Guys, if she can’t cook but loves to go out to eat,
If she does not keep a clean tidy home but looks like a million bucks,
If she into (un)reality shows but has no interest in the arts,
If she keeps her cell phone on her and constantly flicks thru it texting,
If she has tats, shows her body curves by the outfits she wears,
If she is any of the above, don’t bother asking any questions…run the other way…she ain’t worth your time.
You don’t want a female,
You don’t want a woman,
You want a lady. A lady that knows how be a woman in private always remaining a lady thereafter…. ;)
I've never been married. There was an engagement that went went south. After that experience along with another one right a year after where I had of all things a seizure, with a girl, let's call her "Kristie"that I thought to myself, "Maybe I had to go through that heartbreaking stuff with my engagement going south, to find her". I had a health scare, my one and only seizure in my life. It put me in the hospital for 5 days. This woman, walks into my hospital room, where I'm a nervous wreck. When I see her walk in that fear and anxiety disappears. She walks up to my bed, holding a box. I start by telling her, how incredible it is seeing her right now and that this is something we can work through. She looks me dead in the eye and says, " You're talking like we are married. We are not. Here are clothes and other items you left at my place. You are no longer welcome there. I won't put the safety of my children at risk with someone who never told me they had such a condition". I tell her this was a one time event. There is no history in my family of this. Her previous BF had lied about just everything to her and this woman was looking for any flaw I had. In her eyes I was to good to be true. The seizure was the flaw. I really thought I found something and some one special. She added if I do have to show up for anything to call her first. If I didn't do this, she'd get a restraining order. Her mom threw in, because she missed it with her ex as well, that I was a monster and a freak. This scrambled my brain for a very long time. It was the second punch within a year, that crushed me.
My question would be has someone damaged you so much from your previous relationship that you are looking for any flaw in the next person that you missed from your last to project them onto me?
Also when asked why I've never been married, I shoot back, in a joking, but hard jab, "Why did you get divorced?"
Casually date gentlemen, that's my advice. All of the good ones are taken.
But if you must..ask her, "What would she consider her greatest weakness". If they can't answer that... run
This video is perfectly timed. Got myself a dinner date tommorow directly after work and some of these ideas will help break the ice a lot with her I'm hoping.
Yay! Have so much fun ❤️
Curious to know how it goes! Story time! 😁
Bro, use the Titanic question. Was there enough space on the raft to fit Jack and Rose? Lol.
Yep. Internet wants an update.
Good luck buddy... Enjoy, and stay relaxed and calm. Don't get too flustered.
You are wise beyond your years Courtney! I am older and totally agree especially being older as I look for direct and intriguing questions over the more popular “hey”
Wow. Spot on, Courtney. Those questions I have been asked by my girlfriend and now my wife on our 1st date. Thank you for sharing.
Definitely talk about and ask questions about her. Women love talking about themselves more than money. Maybe? The conversation will go much smoother if your tall, handsome, muscular, with the appearance of wealth and status. Actually if you don't meet her requirements, don't worry about the conversation.
But you won't know what her requirements are until you talk to her. If she won't talk to you, there's your answer. Whatever she is looking for, you ain't got it.
I found the best question is to ask: what do you do when you are really upset, or angry? If she can't answer right away it means that she doesn't want you to know how bad things can get, and in the other hand it can also tells you if she can get angry and at the same time control her emotions. This is important as there will be lots of discussions (or fights) in a relationship. If she is inmature and can't handle herself, is better to know ahead of time.
Uhoh, dangerous. If you meet a woman who knows to manipulate with words.
And this one is not too hard to see through.
(On the other hand if she is quite intelligent she might be put off by such a move who assumes she's stupid ....)
It's so simple, yet we all just complicate things...
Spot on LOL
@@CourtneyRyan hence why I get so burnt out cause I don't wanna deal with it
Why don’t anyone ever talk about how to attract Men? It seems to me that in our society women are always the prize to be won and it’s the man’s job to do that! To me that’s not equal is it To be equal you must act equal !!
If it comes to average woman, certainly yea. But the most attractive women certainly go for genetically superior men only, since almost every guy wants them and there is incredible competition. An angelina Jolie type lady will accept very few men who are below the status of a Christiano Ronaldo.
Ttrrrruuueeeee if you want equality she should be just as interested In you as you are in her. Like show love and equality
*These questions are a perfect mix of fun and thought-provoking, making them ideal for keeping the conversation interesting.*
2 things should be happening on a first dating basis, you should ask generalized questions to measure compatibility( intimate questions come later) , next make your boundaries of what you want from a relationship crystal clear to one another so there is zero confusion moving forward
Or ,here's an idea, just have some fun with her. Make your relationship boundaries clear on a FIRST DATE? Do you get many second dates?
@@jleano609 if I make my boundaries clear and she does the same, and if we decide that were not on the same page for a relationship, we have saved ourselves both lots of time energy and money moving forward, if there is a 2nd date we obviously got a lot of the same values and commonalities which helps us build rapport long term
@J Leano this is for serious dates only not the hookup shit weirdos do
If the intimacy does NOT appear on the first date before ½ hour into it - it will never appear as true love and passion.
@@andersnielsen6044 I guess that depends on what you define as intimacy but for first date I’m not sure I’d put too much emphasis on intimacy at all.
The GOAT Doc Love was fairly clear. Do not initiate intimacy until the second date. However if she initiates reward her good behavior. This gives you a good baseline for her attraction. Many girls are pretty shy and will not initiate until they are comfortable.
Some Dating Coaches have pushed this to a kiss test at the end of the first date. I used a hybrid approach back in the day. Hug when you meet at the start of the first date, hug at the end. Monitor the differences. If you can clearly sense an escalation at the end hug and she turns her face in kiss her, if not, don’t.
If you then like the girl she gets one more date and you’re kissing her at the end, or sooner again if she initiates.
The first date explains what your looking for in my opinion. I took my wife to a restaurant and turned off my phone, for example. These are blind date questions.
Asking these are the same reasons married at first site stresses me out. Every time things are going good and flowing one person who stop the moment by asking one of these questions.
My advice dont ask a pre-determined set of questions, make a declarative statement "im nervous and excited, i really like this restaurant have you been here before? The goal should be to see if you can make eachother laugh and be happy without any sensual things taking place."
Just an opinion
@MindBuddies if it were me, I would settle alot from the invitation.Accomplish the awardness beforehand of"what do we do" and "making sensual exploration not the goal." I have been asked by my kids who they should be with/married too. I always say "what the relationship starts with will determine what its based on." So my goal would be how happy are they with me and can we laugh? So the invite sets the tone example, "hi I've herd of this new place that has a variety of things to do;bowling, games etc." Any person would wear more of a comfortable attire. So this is when tye questions would feel more natural cause it's appropriate to ask... you both walk in to a place with all these options "what would you like to try first, you get answers on how they treat you, food preferences, lifestyle, and how they act around all types of people. This way alot of the questions you don't have to ask just pay attention to what is happening. It's more natural and I believe you get more.
I hope this helps.
@MindBuddies I appreciate being asked a question. It doesn't happen often.
Courtney, I found you a week ago & I just love listening to you. You REALLY, understand men! Thank you for offering such good advice, specific examples and not criticizing men for their ignorance & stupid things they do. I feel like you care about men & that you want to help us. Thank you! I ordered my Ice Roller on your first video. I have several things that I will be working on...
Those stupid things you said are not really stupid things. Women don't consider it as stupid things....
As a guy who opens up easy one question I would like to get to connect more with a partner is...
"What is your relationship with your mom?"
Even though is a bit of sadness for me in that question and answer too, the bottom line is that once I talk about this deeply personal subject I can connect much easier with my girl (and vice-versa: if she agrees to open up about her relationship with her father...that would be great - but patience is necessary, for both of us).
Thank you for this video, Courtney! It's not always easy to know where to begin or what to ask. This definitely helps!
Courtney, Your advice is so helpful because it's all about men presenting themselves honestly in a way that shows their best traits to a woman.
Courtney, this is such helpful content! Great question to figure out if she just matched/swiped out of boredome or real curiosity about the person behind the profil! As you mentioned , this opens up so many key followup question to fugure out really fast if the other person matches your energie or is likely to be compatible with you! keep this kind of helpful and valuable input for us/men going! English is not my mother tongue, so bare with me in regards to grammar or typos!
showing honest interest in people and asking questions rather than talk is always a sincere way to gain respect and Sympathie.
Thanks Courtney, I believe those are the most easiest questions to ask someone but as we go through situations in life, we lose forget about the simplest things in life like interacting with people.
Asking questions, telling stories, making jokes, key word jumping, association jamming - without a script. Most times it is hours of conversation with a fun girl, 5 minutes of torture with a typical NPC widget. A great girl will connect in moments of silence. For me this has always happened in a foreign language; never in English, never with a Yankee.
This implies women talk to you correct?
If they talk to you in the first place
Hahahaha good one. A lot of th mbsimoly ghost you in the DMs
You can always bring them up when you make the Sunday afternoon call to your Mom! 😂
women not gonna talk to you first, you gotta talk to them
@yungkaos3500 What you are saying is mostly the truth, my friend..
However.. I've had more than a few relationships where the woman made the first move to talk to me..
I have a date friday with a woman.I met who spoke to me first because she loved the music That was blasting from my speakers...
She even said she's glad she had the guts to speak to me..😂😅😊
Those are good questions. I would HIGHLY recommend covering these areas in chat or on a call PRIOR to a first date. In addition, I normally ask about their relationship status and how previous relationships ended. Emotionally mature women don't mind discussing this. But sometimes you can sense the anger here. Spirituality and/or religion is a good area. Women who lack spirituality generally struggle with values like honesty, monogamy, and independence. My favorite question is "What is your idea of a good sex life?" In my opinion this is THE most important compatibility question, as what is the purpose of a man/woman relationship if ideas/frequency about sex vastly differ. Again, emotionally mature women don't mind discussing this. Exercise habits and diet is a good area too because women who don't exercise and eat crap food are terrible in bed. It's important to learn about each other as much as possible before the first date because why waste each other's time? This one girl interrogated me for an hour in chat (LOL) before we even talked, and we talked for hours before we met in person. Our first date was spectacular! And that was a year and half ago. We're still together. But I rejected a boatload of women through chat and talking because I just felt we wouldn't be compatible, especially sexually. So, talk to them first before you date them, and both people will have a much better time.
Spirituality and 'sex life', LMAO...Sure bro, good luck.
@@Matasky2010 OK. FYI: Asking probing questions is a common SALES technique. Its called "qualifying the prospect" to see if there is a good fit. It works. But you need to know what you are looking for in a prospect and be able to carry a conversation. I know what I'm looking for so it's easy for me. And I do text, phone or videos calls to determine if there might be a good fit. If they don't want to talk through text or phone, I move on. I don't want a woman who can't talk. So figure out what you want and qualify, qualify, qualify!
Thank you for your shearing ❤
Eventhough I don't I dont agree with some of what your wrote here, I can't leave without admiring your initiation to write this much to help people. bravo.
1. What kind of music do you like?
2. What is your favourite book?
3. What is your earliest memory?
4. What is your social security number?
5. What do you think about a man with only one ball? Do you think he has two strikes against him?
The social security number question is huge! 8)
Also their bank account number and pin number, credit card etc.
I tend to be more social depending on what my setting is. If this were to be a date, my mind usually overflows with similar questions to ask. When I first met someone I matched with on Facebook dating this year, I already knew what I wanted to talk about. Best of all, we were able to hold different conversations the entire time we saw each other.
Been coming to you for advice and can genuinely apply it. Have been asking these questions to women and they’re asking me out!? Your magic works. Love you content as a man, advice like this is rare.
👏🏼 this made my day! I’m so glad!
Folks, whether you are a woman or a man, simply listen to the other person, think, and ask positive, relevant follow-up questions to understand them. Show empathy, show support, and show interest. See what they get excited about when they talk. See what they dislike. There is no preset of questions that can beat a genuine conversation and you will actually find out a lot more about the other person.
Best questions to ask a woman? Word of advice . . . Don’t. Don’t ask her anything! Instead, tell her that you don’t have time for her. You’ll be amazed how well women respond to this type of behavior.
Thanks Courtney 😊I'm 33 and feel like i'm clueless about women still. This channel really helps. I'm constantly trying to learn and be better at this stuff 😊
Men are from Mars & women are from Venus
1. What is your body count
2. Are you responsible with your finances
3. What was your upbringing like
4. Do you have a good relationship with your father
5. Why did your last relationships fail
6. What are your expectations for a healthy LTR
Bonus Questions:
Do you think for yourself, or just parrot leftist talking points
Does your social media look like an ad for girls gone wild
That's great, if you don't want a second date.
@@MikeyP109 well I ask questions to get information, not to try to impress someone.
@@haywood4299 That info will be very clear when there is no 2nd date.
Good Questions but you will never get honest answers to any of them, and only get answers to them after dating her for a long period of time and finding out for yourself!
Answers to your questions:
1) take her body count # and multiply by 4.
2) see if she contributes to the cost of the date.
3) her attitude will answer this.
4)you actually lived with your father & mother wow!
5) Tell me how horrible your last boyfriends treated you.
6) Is there any chance we, or any other American couple, can have a successful LTR nowadays?
Having some dates coming up makes me very appreciative for these tips. It's been a while since coming from a 15 year old relationship.
I remember being on a date a few months ago and the chick I was with asked me the first question on this list. Great question. The rest of the conversation we had that night pretty much piggy backed off that question and we ended up going on multiple dates afterwards. Courtney dropping bangers, AGAIN
This video is great for anyone looking for advice on how to connect with women and keep conversations going. Courtney Ryan provides helpful questions to ask that can help ease the pressure and ensure the conversation is genuine.
Anything that gets someone to talk about themselves is always a great start. I think it helps to be relaxed and sincere when posing these questions and taking a genuine interest in everything the lady says. That means paying attention, maintaining eye contact and gently interacting. Hopefully, at the end of the date she will think you are a great conversationalist, when you have actually been an attentive listener. Fingers crossed that she is one too!
What if Lady spoke lies?! As lot of women speaks lies....
If women understood what it takes for most men to even approach a women he's interested in...the fact that he's standing there...really says it all.
Not concerned with impressing women.. and every man who clicked on this video should start realizing it is not your job to impress ANYONE
You don't need to impress others... up to the point, where you want something from them (a date, a job, a relationship, etc.). After that, you are making an impression, one way or the other, so it's in your best interests for it to be a good one.
I watched half of this on the preview before I watched the whole thing. You actually want the best for men and women and that's very rare.
💯
7. Have you been to therapy?
8. Do you have a history of domestic violence?
9. Do you have a history of substance abuse?
10. Have you ever had an abortion?
11. Are you taking any prescribed medication?
12. Have you ever been tested for an STD?
Other very good questions 😂
if she answers yes to at least three of these you know she's going home with you that night!
Just what I need. Encouraging a woman to talk about herself.
You would still need to have your answers, other wise she might think that you might be a bit dumb
The best thing is to avoid seeking female approval.Do you the best you can and they will come to you.
To be fair.. most of these questions don't feel very natural to me as stand-alone questions. I feel it's probably better to lead the conversation to the point these questions are natural.
Here is how I would ask all these 6 questions.
1) Let's say you are on a first date. The first thing you could ask is how her day or week was and what she spent her time on that week. You can usually spot if it was a regular week or something special happened, but you never assume you are correct on that.
Next you repeat what she said to make sure she knows you listened and are interested, you know you aren't making any assumptions, and you don't come over as judgmental (which might cause her to be defensive, something you always want to avoid). By reflecting her words you will usually trigger her to open up more immediately. She will automatically start to feel more comfortable and maybe even reveal how a typical day/week looks for her, but if not you can in always then probe further by asking her if that's how her typical day/week looks.
2) After learning what she did that day/week and hearing her out on what her typical day/week looks you can continue with question two. An example on how to do that is: "So you work/paint/work out/etc. a lot, is that something you are passionate about?" You again showed you are listening carefully, aren't jumping to conclusions even though you just summarized what she revealed about herself and are really interested in knowing what she is interested in. Because of this it is really easy for her to open up very quickly and give you lots of information. She is likely to ask if you are interested in it as well, on which you should always answer genuinely. If you share interests you have enough to talk about for a long time, but if you aren't you should be careful not to trivialize her passion. The more information she gave to you the easier it is to pick out one or two things she said which you are actually interested in and have her continue talking about it.
3) You now can ask one of the following follow-up questions: "have you always been passionate about this" or "Since when have you been interested in this". These are examples of follow-up question that could steer the conversation to talk about things she liked/did in the past. Showing interest in her past and letting her talk about the past will have her talk about the environment she grew up in the majority of the time. You have to listen well, repeat what she said often to show you are still listening and are still interested and from there on out you can lead the conversation into asking more about her childhood or teenage years. This makes it more natural to ask what she liked most about where she grew up or if she has fond memories about where she grew up. By having her talk about the good things that happened to her when she was young she will feel more comfortable.
4) Asking where she likes to travel or what her favorite holiday was is something that is pretty natural to ask. When she is already talking about her past it is easy to continue talking about holidays (which are usually fond memories anyway). You can then easily switch to talking about travels she is still planning to do or things she still wants to see or do.
Questions 5 and 6 are question to keep the conversation flowing in my opinion. The scenario I painted up until now is obviously not going to unfold word for word and sometimes she doesn't have much to say about something. Here is when you can use these questions to have the conversation flow more naturally, while still showing a deep interest in what she does. When she is talking about how her typical day looks, you can easily ask her what she does over the weekends, or more general with her free time, but it's a question of timing it right to get most out of it. IAnd if she is talking about her passions or things she is still planning to do she will usually reveal something she is interested in learning about or improving in. In my opinion it's not smart to just ask these questions as a stand-alone question, because if the girl hasn't opened up enough yet you will receive short answers.
The trick to a good conversation is listening and taking the time to make sure she knows you are listening and not judging her. When she has opened up you can also add in some humor, without having her react defensively.
I really like this! Thank you for the video. If I were asked most of these, I'd be very happy to answer particularly because it is something "I" as an individual am deliberately involved in and not something that is sociologically imposed on me.
I especially like the 'What is something you wish you were good at?" because it allows for a person to say something and be humble about it so no fragile toes are stepped on
Perfect timing, as I have a coffee date tomorrow. We've gone through most of these questions beforehand, but it sure doesn't hurt.
This one is definitely more of a me-thing, but I do find this to be important for my overall ability to engage with a relationship long term:
As a geek turned actor & writer, a big part of my love language is showing each other our favourite (and sometimes not so favourite) TV Shows & Movies, so I think discussing our tastes/overall interest & engagement in media is really important to me.
I'm open-minded to basically any story or genre, so long as it's well-written, so finding someone similar is pretty important to me.
I don't need someone with identical tastes, mind you (how boring!), as I love that magical experience of either showing someone or being shown a movie for the first time (or having them show me), but if it's clear they just wouldn't have any interest in watching Star Trek, for example, that'd probably be a no-go for me as far as long term prospects are concerned.
You have a better chance with an AI woman than a real woman. No women like Star Trek.
Star trek sucks... NERD~~~~~~~~~~~!
indeed, sharing passions/discovering shared passions and such is essential
if someone likes Friends and Harry Potter, we're just not on the same level in so many ways immediately discernable
Also, asking "deep"-'er type questions like this, and her answers are like one-liners and clearly not giving much thought to it... gives you the HUGE clue to move on and not waste your time! The ones that are even half-interested will spark up, like she alludes to, and get more interested and engaging.
I'm sorry, but most of these questions just sound like a more social variation of a job interview where someone asks you to define yourself. They may sound great to you, but to me, they come across like one person thinks they are clever and are looking to see if the other person gives you the "right" answers. I would not try to ask someone questions that actually made me feel awkward the first time I heard them. I don't want to have to explain my passions or justify the way I live my daily life on the very first date, nor would I ask someone else to do so (that can always come later when things are beginning to get serious). I really just want to know more about who this person is and what sort of things she might like to do with me. I can learn the rest from there if she's interested. It's just my opinion, but I don't think some of these questions would impress a woman so much as they would scare her off.
I like these 6 questions. By asking questions starting with a WHAT, it makes it possible for the woman to elaborate and gives insights about her. Instead of a yes or no question that tends to stop the possibility of elaborating. She might have her own questions for the guy. But you're right Courtney, women want to feel connected and centered in the date. Some of the answers to these questions might also telegraph her true interests and perhaps be something that could lead to a second date? Which if the date is going well the man could ask, When are we going on our second date? Let's plan that now. It could also be that the vibe is not being felt and no second date is in the cards. I know one question I would probably ask is what type of comedy does she enjoy? Who are some of her favorite stand up comics and why? Then for me I would mention male and female comedians that truly make me laugh. That subject could open up a entire category of fun things to talk about. 😃
Never ask for or try to lockdown a second date during the first date! C’mon man! Learn to be a 3%er my guy.
Nice one, Courtney! All of these are straight up bangers of questions (the best).
For me, one thing I'd like to be asked is "How did you become so passionate about game design?". The reason for this is because it really does define me as a person, as a content creator, and as a hard worker in general.
Love it!
Then your question should be "What's your favorite video game?".
And thats why youre single haha
Your straight forward, like entertaining a gate that you'll never escape
Genuine indeed, these questions arn´t anything less you wouldn´t ask to anyone around. you, not only women ?
If you are just natural funny as hell I don't think it matters much, most girls love to laugh out loud! I've started to really binge watch your channel to get a better perspective of the female species.
Hopefully some that I ask will be covered here because if you are creative enough you can learn what you want without being Direct and putting her on the spot causing her to come up with the best answer possible instead of the real answer
A great way to "connect with her" as in make it all about her so she doesn't have to give a crap about you.
Chad : get over here now
Her : is there in a blink of an eye
You : ask questions, takes her out, opens doors..
Her : you are boring
Fr 😂
A girl who likes you don’t need any of this ..
the girl who comes curiously to see if you fit her plans .. would be bored whatever you do.
The right advice .. let things happen naturally when you meet a girl if it matches it works that’s all. Otherwise go away.. don’t spend your time with people with whom you feel like you’re in a fight.
Courtney, you're content is crazy good and extremely helpful! I appreciate so much your focus on self improvement and healthy relationships. I learn so much from you! Keep the greatness coming! 👍
great questions! I really struggle trying to think of good open-ended questions when I'm enchanted with a lady standing next to me. thank you!
Courtney, one of your very best videos and the timing is perfect for me for as I have a first date this evening. Can't thank you enough
Courtney is an absolute gem on TH-cam. Her content is always useful and she is a delight to watch. There are two types of content producers. Those that give just enough valuable information as a "foot in the door" to sell their products on their websites and content producers, like Courtney who are above all authentic and don't try to sell you anything. A hideous example of the former is Kezia noble who makes the ridiculous claim of being, " The world's leading female dating expert for men" and every video is a marketing tool for her services on her website. Courtney will never end up with an inflated, obnoxious personality like Kenza. www.youtube.com/@Kezianobledatingexpert/about
All of these questions are actually great for guys too. I love answering these types of questions.
lol these sound like job interview questions. I've actually been asked the travel question on a recent interview
I got you you know I might have been closed on some things but this helped me an awful lot thank you so much I you know I can't be anything less than that I realized that in the chat room all of a sudden I start letting things off my shoulder that we're getting in my way it's so funny but it's important to me and I appreciate the good information that you gave❤
Courtney is right. Take it from someone who knows. I had a girl ask me these same questions at a bar. And it kept us engaged for at least an hour and half, before she had to go. But they were interesting questions that allowed me to tell her about where I was going in life.
This should work both ways and women should explore good questions for the guys. If a woman shows no interest and doesn’t reciprocate questions, that is an indicator of no interest in me.
These are great questions for improving a conversation! Thanks for the video, Courtney! 😄
I just discovered your channel recently and am really enjoying it. This is a comment more on a bunch of videos rather than just this video. I also very rarely comment at all on videos.I have already taken some advice. You have a great way of communicating your points. Others doing the same thing are either over animated or just not great at making their point.
If she is not into you ,none of these questions will make sense.
Well duh
Lolz😂🎉
😂😂😂
What I really like about these questions, is I learn the most about someone when they will tell me a story about themselves with some emotional connection for them. When I interview people at work in addition to the regular factual type questions I will basically ask them to tell me some war stories about past projects. These are great questions to get to those stories about themselves that carry real meaning to them.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash.
@Rose Allen well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer.
@Rose Allen her name is Shelly Renee White, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster.
@Rose Allen you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
Fellas! Remember being flirty and making approaches is your birthright. Get after what’s in your heart.
This is a VERY good video idea, not just for talking to women, but for developing any relationships. I myself made a list of “genuine” questions to ask friends and women I meet bc I am SO against small talk, and I actually arrived at some of the exact same questions you did! What are you most passionate about, how do you spend your free time, what’s a skill you wish you had are my favorites. This doesn’t just make conversations interesting, it also indicates you actually care about who someone is and that YOU are genuine/authentic. Meeting women and hearing what they’re passionate about is very fulfilling to me bc I actually love people in general, and if you can’t ask good questions to women you’re missing 50% of the excitement that is sharing human passion and interest (yes women have passions too). I also have some friends that I am not around as much anymore and don’t have much to share with them as I did before, so I tried asking them what skills they wish they had and it reignited the conversation and revealed things I never knew about very long time friends.
Edit: I’ll add that people who have trouble giving proper/honest answers to any of these questions are not worth staying around or continuing to talk to. They may be unsure or need to think more about it, but it’s easy to tell when their answers are inauthentic.
There is a girl who serves at a restaurant near my apartment and I’ve been trying to court her for the past two weekends now. I know that most men overestimate the degree to which a woman is interested in them, so I’m trying not to make the mistake. But I think she is interested. She spends a good amount of time at my table entertaining me and we have lots of eye contact. I can’t wait to ask her one of these questions 🙂
Friend zone vibes
Thanks for the post, Courtney! For some of us, these questions need to be rehearsed.
I become friends with women and then nothing
Love your content Courtney, I've been hurting because I asked someone and was told they only see me as a friend. I know the "normal" advice is to move on and I've done that before, but I'm struggling here because I've never met someone in my whole life I can relate to so much (guy or girl). We have crazy similarities in personalities, behaviours, thoughts etc I can second guess her most times. Sadly this isn't important to her it seems, she's usually been compassionate but ever since I asked her she's acting indifferent, as if I did some crime. I'm trying to learn from your videos, it's been hard so far.
my answer:
I love you too much to ever start liking you, so don't exect me to be your friend.
LOBO
then walk away, and don't go back.. she had her chance.
@@dket2571 Thanks for sharing that. I agree that could be a thing to do. Unfortunately I find myself in a situation where she's the only meaningful friend in my life, for reasons beyond my control. So I want to stay friends with her for atleast a little while until I rebuild my life. The most important thing is for me to find evidence that I can be happy with someone else, which is hard because I could relate to her so much, she made me realise important things about me I'd forgotten for years.
@@wishtrack1087 And staying is preventing you from finding better next time.
I've been there, done that.
There IS a next time, and its ok to mourn the loss.
Don't look for the next relationship, get on with your life. build your strength, emotionally and physically.
Rebuild your life, then someone will find you (women want strong mates).
Try watching better bachelor, he'll help.
Omg this just happened to me last week too, after the first date. When I said I liked her and tried to ask for a second meeting she told me she don't mind seeing me again but maybe on a friendly basis rather than dating. And something along the lines of unsure if she is compatible with me. This is extremely saddening as I've put in so much effort only to get to this stage. I don't think I could stay as friends with her because I view her as something more.
@@everythingalsoYUI And every date with her is a a date wasted.
Don't be nasty, politely tell her you are looking for more, then excuse yourself and leave, and don't look back.
The woman knows who she wants... and it ain't you.
You're just the "fill in".
Just ask whatever it comes in your mind, don't be afraid to ask or talk to her.
“What’s your credit score?”
I have a first date tomorrow and I'm definitely going to pull some conversation ideas from this video, thank you Court.
How did it go?
1. What's your body count, 2. How many hundreds of thousand in College loan debt do you have 3. Can you cook? 4. Clean 5. Do you want kids? 6. How many dates until i get lucky?
#1 Listen after the question and then listen and look at her as you are listening.
What do YOU Bring to the Table ?
She Is the table 😂
@@tshep0 I like my women without wood.
In my experience, women will gladly fill up a 6 hour date talking about themselves without asking a single question about my world.
what is she like when shes at her worst
Cortney has no game)
All questions sound so formal
Listen guys, let's forget all the bullshit. The Fat Bat 🦇 is going to give it to you straight! Either you got the magic, or you ain't got the magic. And if you have a long streak of failed attempts, you can pretty much assume you ain't got it. Just try to get as much enjoyment out of life as you can, but things aren't ever going to change for you no matter how many videos of Courtney Ryan (or anyone else) you watch on TH-cam.
I agree. However, people in general refuse to accept they may not be dating material. That said, the money to be made creating these vids keeps them rolling out. As you stated, it's not just Courtney, it's everyone.
1. What does a typical day look like for you?
2. What are you most passionate about at the moment?
3. What is your favorite thing about where you grew up?
4. Have you traveled much, or do you want to?
5. What is your favorite way to spend your weekends?
6. What is something you want to learn or wish you were better at?
Sounds like interview questions lol
MVP 👏🏼👏🏼
@@tiphotisted sounds like you never go on dates
@@steelydan146 Or, you've never gone on an interview.
7. Do you have a brief attention-span and like to take shortcuts? 😆