"I'm not scared of commitment..I want to be 100% sure... I don't want a divorce.. & I don't want to be a statistic"....Man nailed it on the head right there.
I'm divorced and it sucks. I never wanted a divorce, but I didn't have a plan in place like this. I was young, he was young we were 21 and 23 and I was pregnant and that's mainly the reason why we got married, not a good idea, but for me I took that as, this is our marriage and it's going to work we are not getting divorced and when you don't really know the person or don't have a plan in place, it literally just falls apart. And then when you have kids, it's even worse, they're 18 and 16 now and it's like wow if I ever decide to start over I need to make sure I'm completely ready.
You don't need to go through the seasons or even the years to know what a woman's (girlfriend's) character is. Look at her postings on her FB page, talk to people who've known her, listen and watch her behavior, look at what she purchases.. If a man cannot judge personal character, he will have zero chance in a intimate relationship.
That has been me for almost all of my life, and I'm 56. Having someone to love, who would love me in return . . . such a simple little request. Yet, I'm convinced fulfilling that request will require a combined Act of God and Congress. The West is done. It may not collapse for a few more years; it might even drunkenly stagger its way through another decade or two, but the West has failed. The lunatics are running the asylum and there is no hope.
Men are tired of loosing. He said it. Worked hard for a home, car, his dog. The system is so rigged against Men. Ask me how I know. I lost my kids, wife, house savings account, half my pension, my ira. I’m 46 years old and starting over again all because she said I worked too much. She never had to work at all. She has sole custody of our three kids. Receives child support and spousal support. Take it from me guys don’t get married. Oh and she still doesn’t work from the 4,300 a month she gets from me. I’m not bitter but certainly aware. Prenuptial agreement if your going to get married.
@@jasongreen5439 - Damn Brother, I feel for You mate! Keep Grinding, you will get the reward! But You are 100% right, the system is rigged! And these woman's wants even more! Crazy stuff!
Thanks you made this 51 year old man cry his eyes out, you really hit a nerve, I relate soooo much. I thought I did that for my ex, but she failed us by cheating on me. Where are are all the good women?….😢😭
A lot of us feel that way. I have huge respect for that guy being willing to be so vulnerable and I'm grateful to you for posting it and being such an advocate for healthy relationships between men and women.
The scary thing is that you can do everything right and still completely fail because of the whims of life or the whims of the person you invited in. So much is out of your control.
This is exactly me after losing everything and becoming homeless after investing all my money, time, and love into my last ex who hid his abusive alcoholic behavior until I moved in with him. I thought I did everything right and sensed no "red flags" with him. I loved having dinner ready when he came home from work, but now will never play house with a man again. What gives me hope: 1. Overcoming the fear of it happening again and being wiser (but avoiding paranoia that only seeks out red flags) 2. Taking accountability for my choices that allowed me to stay in such a toxic relationship and cope in unhealthy ways 3. Also being determined to not be a statistic 4. Regaining trust in not only other people but myself that I've gone through what I've gone through and there's a reason the rear-view mirror is smaller than the windshield: to keep looking forward! Most of us (especially us "red-pilled" men and women) really are better together than we are apart, so I hope for blessings on those of us who desire a faithful committed relationship. 💛
So true, my ex hid really well the liar, cheater and thief he was until after we married I tried to make it work and support his dreams, but when you find out you are the only one trying , you know you are done Wasted 10 years of my life Found out recently, as I had always expected that he had a son during our marriage I guess it wouldn’t have mattered if I found out before,he just bled my soul dry with all his lies Do I have trust issues, big time I still hope to find the one I can trust Meanwhile I spend my time having the best life I can
I'm living proof of that. Had a good life and a loving relationship just a few short years ago. She decided I wasn't good enough. Then came the plandemic, wildfires, back stabbing employers. I lost everything and now rely on the support of others for basic needs. This life takes no prisoners and I'm glad I'm in the last season of my life as I really don't think I can take much more of this human experience.
@@juansebastianovalleguerra3467 Subscribe to "Ask an older man ". There's a short about how to use a pre marriage trust to protect yourself against that.
I cried. I have two amazing boys in their 30s and they can't find good, wise and mature women. I have been praying before they were born, for only God can give us good partners.
I got married at 19 In 1977. We just celebrated 45 years.we have faced the vicissitudes of life and traveled the world together. Unfortunately I in 2013 I suffered the first heart attack and over the last 9years have become severely disabled. My wife is at my side constantly caring for me. When I was strong I took the lead. When things where tight we shared the drive. My wife was 17 we had nothing but faith in each other. Our motto has always been Carpe deum . Fortune favors the brave. Good luck my friend.
@AliSand the really messed up bit is there are countless men with their own divorce baggage, baby momma drama, bitterness, etc who expect to be accepted. Many dudes are just as "damaged" for the exact same reasons. & yet, so many ppl just want to waste time pointing fingers instead of healing.
I was the same, waited till I was in my 40s, made sure I was in a great place, for the same reasons. Then I found the person, we discussed pre marriage that divorce. Wasn't an option going in, and I asked her to say no if she couldn't commit to us no matter what..... 8 years later all I got from her was " I know divorce was never an option...... But we're getting a divorce" . No, she was never beaten, treated poorly, we were financially in a good place, she was safe, secure and supported on her endeavors. What I learned is, you can only do your best, but its not MY responsibility to make anyone happy, I can try to make an environment where happiness can grow, but if someone else isn't happy, they need to determine why. If im part of it, I'm willing to evaluate, help, support and if warranted, try to change. Best of luck guys, it's hard to find a woman who will hang in a marriage through any hard times rather than looking/ leaving for the bigger better deal. I put this on woman as 80% of all divorce filings come from the woman, not the man and until we get rid of no fault divorce, there is really ZERO incentive for a man to ever get married. I'd love to get married again, I love the idea, I loved being married but there really is no incentive at all.
Now I know who was living a life that was 100% parallel to mine, even to the last detail. Easier for her to get a no fault divorce than it was to get a library card. Unf***ingbelievable. Definitely no incentive for her to stay together- but there was plenty of incentive to divorce. Actually wish her the best in her quest for happiness, and if she finds it- so be it, even if it’s without me. Just hope she realizes what it cost in terms of the wreckage along the way and TO the wreckage along the way as I will never trust again. Ever. Best of luck to you brother.
Brother, get your passport in order and go find a real woman in a country that still has a family based culture like Brazil, Thailand, Asia and more. You will be a happy man. BUT DO NOT - NOT! bring her back here . That's gone in America thanks to the woke trash and there's going to be a lot of women 28 & up living alone, no children and no family. And they've earned every bit of it.
@@sirferr3870 Same message to you too: Brother, get your passport in order and go find a real woman in a country that still has a family based culture like Brazil, Thailand, Asia and more. You will be a happy man. BUT DO NOT - NOT! bring her back here . That's gone in America thanks to the woke trash and there's going to be a lot of women 28 & up living alone, no children and no family. And they've earned every bit of it.
Best of Luck to both of you. It seems like people who want a divorce come from a family that had a divorce. My wife and I have been married for 33 years and I am thankful every day. None of our parents had been divorced and we both agreed that it was not an option. Take care
Except woman are the ones filing for divorce at over an 80% rate. And women are the ones who typically benefit, walking away with cash and prizes they didn't earn, and the majority of child custody, as well as lifetime alimony payments in some states. If YOU as a woman are scared to marry, then men are TERRIFIED since they bear the brunt of losses and damage in the divorce.
This breaks my heart. Giving your all to someone who just tore you to pieces for almost 2 decades… you take years to heal. Then find out so many are just frightened. This makes me so sad. It really feels hopeless.
As a 52 year old, happily married woman, this is heartbreaking. For society to degrade to the point where people are scared of the most exciting and natural part of life, courtship and commitment, is the beginning of the end.
@@coldhardtruth333 you can’t put it all on a stranger on the internet. I mean, you can try but it’s foolish. At some point in the future someone will say to you the same as what you had said here, and the cycle continues. Personally, all I’m hoping for is a future where we’re in the cycle of ‘hard times create strong men’. And do not perpetually stay in a state of ‘weak men create hard times’. Because my greatest fear is that technology will continue to progress and eat up humanity the way it has been doing. And humanity in the future is living some Nineteen Eighty Four/ Brave New World futurist technocratic dictatorial dystopia. And I hope that person in the future who says the words which you have said to OP is saying it in a world closer resembling Mad Max than Equilibrium.
What is love and commitment? It's something you live and it's something that grows over time. Around 25 years ago my wife was in a severe car wreck where her feet and ankles were crushed. Then she was struck with rheumatoid arthritis. For all those years I took her to one doctor after another, helped her in and out of the car, the house, businesses, etc., because she could barely walk. She gradually got worse and worse, to the the point where for the last month she could not get out of bed by herself. Sometimes I carried her to the bathroom and sometimes I cleaned her after she soiled the bed. I buried her today. A week ago, while she was still coherent, she could not stop thanking me for helping her all those years, apologizing for being a burden, and telling me how much she loved me. When you love someone, they are never a burden and you do all you can because you want to. No apology is needed, no commitment is demanded, and no burden is felt. I would give anything to carry her where ever she needed to go just one more time. Love is not "What's in it for me", "These are my requirements", or any other new age, selfish pablum. It's not even about you. It's all about giving yourself to another as they give themselves to you. It is a selfless act that endures forever through anything life throws at you and it's the hardest and easiest thing you'll ever do.
Cheetus, what a beautiful comment and what a wonderful man that you are. That is the kind of thing every woman such as myself would love from the man she loves. God bless you dear!
Words of wisdom. Thats what love is about. Good on you for a life well lived. Unfortunately it seems very difficult to come by in this complicated world. Life has dealt me some blows and I feel utterly broken. At 58 I've given up finding that kind of love again.
Wish it were that simple, but it ain't. There are countless men out there with your story as well... only difference is when the woman gets better and/or the man gets put into a similar tragic situation, she bails and leaves him behind, now content with moving "upward and onwards" with her life, to better days. No memory or appreciation of the past, her roots, or the sacrifices taken for her.
I met a girl. We dated for 5yrs. Things felt right so we got engaged. Just to be sure, we slowly planned how we would wed and after 7yrs, we tied the knot. I felt sure she was the one. We had grown and been together for so long. It was a lock solid deal. Then after being married for 6yrs (as she approached her 40th) she began to withdraw and started to hang out with people she met at the gym. And by the end of our 7th anniversary she left me for a guy she met at that gym. Almost 20yrs down the tubes. I knew this was my only chance to be married and now I can’t even face dating again. It’s been almost 10yrs and I’m okay with me and where I am, but the betrayal still hurts.
Then she was the one who wasn't good enough. That's why I don't have a lot of respect for certain females who are too picky, judgemental, absent-minded, greedy, or selfish. If you were willing to work on it, have good communication, be honest with each other, and see each other for the person they are on the inside, then that's about it. If she isn't, then she's not the one.
This guy has some serious balls. The way he is willing to put it out there is Awesome! He has to know how weaponized and or dissected that video could become. Good for that guy, serious man up!!
There is a point at which you no longer care how others take what you say, Shaun. I wish I had reached that point long before my 50s, but I didn't and I have to play the hand I am dealt.
The issue I got is trust! I don't trust the system, it's made for woman who want to misuse it. I would like nothing else to marry, but to do that I have to sign a prenup otherwise it's impossible! And it has to include the children's future.
That's not balls, it's genius! He listed every reason for a woman to want him - house, car, stable income, and a desire for a real relationship... they'll be knocking down his door for a date! This video will turn the women into aggressors!
This was the same thing that I wanted out of life. And I have to say that I was lucky in that regard, I was married to my wife for 32 years, when she passed in early 2021. We, like any other couple, had our ups and downs, but we were happy, and we always had each other's backs.
Yes! Me too. But l live in the wrong city, l have the wrong car, and l have the wrong career. I'm homely, l have no personality, and l have zero gravitas. I'm destined to spen the rest of my life alone.
*Sarah thank you for showing your own emotion whilst watching this brave courageous man speak truth about his fears...it's in your eyes. You must be an amazing woman to be speaking up for men like me out there. Thank you from the heart Sarah*
@@sarahr6084 it's a damn good thing. It means your mind can see what your eyes don't always catch and that you're over the target, of this particular issue plaguing men and women. Thank you for speaking up. More women need to do so.
Totally understand. The pain of listening to my ex chant (with her lawyer) "Abuse, abuse" in court has ruined me. Mind you, when she found the brain tumor I stayed.... cleaned her bedside toilet... did the best I could.... but I lost my family, my money (she tried to take everything), my house.... and the judge was told I was an abuser.
If she had a brain tumor it for sure did some damage even if benign. I am in a very similar situation. Please try your best to forgive her because some of hwr bad behavior may not be under her control. Believe me, I know it's difficult. But brain injuries really do change a person so I hope you can forgive and remember the good times. I wish you the very best going forward. 💜🙏 May you find healthy love.
If you find a notebook cataloging every time you fucked up and twice as many times where you didn't, but she spun it to make it appear that you did, Steel it, Put it in the custody of a trusted friend, And file before she does. The notebook is for the purposes of something known as "191 factors". Which are courtroom exhibits against your custody of the children.
@@geek49203 Agreed, it doesn't make the damage done any less painful. Might even hurt worse, because you can't just hate them, clean and simple. It's more complicated than that, and there's not a thing you can do to change things. 😥 Good luck, wish you the best.
The saddest part is these days men are waiting longer and longer to get married and start families meaning they are very unlikely to be alive or at least lively when they get to have grandchildren.☹️
100% Same buddies are also saying... can't believe you have a good wife who puts up with your crap. When said good wife gets tired and leave... same buddies say... you didn't need her anyway.
And what he said is exactly what happened to me. Now im 60, alone, have my dog, and heartbroken. But the worst part is, i cant afford to start over and take that risk. I feel so broken and empty.
45, still working through the divorce. Won't entertain the women sniffing around, including the ex who has been trying to get me back. I'm done being abused, just trying to find my peace.
@@IVIayhem you will get through it. My advice is get through it, take a year to think of yourself and learn to make you happy, then you'll be in the position to know if you want or need to put up with nonsense anymore. Me, i bought a new Harley and my dog and i are loving the single life.
It's beyond communication. Please... be honest. Look at the laws and courts. Don't try to BS men with that stuff.. you'll just end up alone. Men are tired of hearing that BS.
Oh and we're not "intimidated" by women... nor are straight men 'transphobic or homophobic'... no phobias or fears... no straight men are running down the streets terrified of gays or trans people ;) All of this was pushed by YOUR women's movement.. Feminism. and it's all BS!
My fear of failure is making me feel like I am not good enough for anyone, no matter who she is... and so far, there are no women willing to show me I have no reason to fear, or fail. Society is sick, and it drives everyone further into this sickness.
Typical me, 38, never being married, last 5 1/2 years has been going without a girlfriend in my life.... but developing my life consistently and gradually the way i want. Everyday wake up with a happy heart and going to bed with a fulfilled day.
I think you are doing better than alot of these men. Married and depressed because they are in a loveless marriage and afraid the wife will take it all. Some are divorced and the wife took it all. Some are just plain women haters. Lol. The last relationship the guy stalked me for 4 or5 years. When you date , have her at least cook you dinner or buy lunch and not you forking out the money all the time. and make sure she makes you laugh alot
Eventually they are in the friendzone because, they have not found the right one jet, but are really nice guys. So let female friends introduce you to all her other female friends, if you are in the friendzone of a women. 😉 A friend of mine was in the friendzone of manny girls and got to know more and more female friends of these women until he found his love. They are together since 2006.
You say "friend zone" like it's a bad place to be. The "friend zone" is a fantasy land that people put themselves in. You fantasize about them being something they're not for YOU! Stop blaming others because they refuse to fulfill YOUR fantasy. The only obligations anyone has to you are they commitments that they've made... I'd be willing to bet, based on the tone of this statement, that no one that's ever 'put you in the friend zone' even knew you wanted something different. Weakness is unattractive and your fear of going after what you want OR not walking away at some point IS WEAKNESS.
I got divorced in 2004. I've dated once since then. I've been single since 2011 because the power women used to have over me was terrifying. I don't know if I have the strength to trust myself let alone someone else again.
At this point I'm committed to myself because everyone I meet seems so hard to trust. It took the first half of my life learning to care about myself, I'm definitely not trying to get stuck with someone who's going to callously treat me like shit because it's the new wave.
This!! One thing I've recognized over the yrs is that trust & abandonment issues are 100% a 2 way street. I don't care about what anyone wants to spew about "Well you need to heal & be open." That's fine & fking dandy & partly true, but it's NOT all up to me. I've done my work. If other ppl can't show that they are reliable, can't communicate effectively, can't/ won't be honest or loyal or feel they have to rely on manipulation & mind games, no amount of my healing, acceptance, mindset will matter tok them. The best I can do is handle my own until someone can show me they're worth the time & effort... IF that happens. Tbh, I'm losing faith in that possibility with how toxic behavior is normalized these days.
I’m and old woman, and I know how hard it is to make it all work. Even when you don’t want it to fail. I see the women now, they’re pretty messed up. They don’t want what they are told to want from society, and they are certainly not going to get what they want by dominating their men. It just doesn’t work. I’m sad to see the unhappiness of this generation.
you should do what most old women do.. tell women not to marry.. not to 'depend on a man' etc. all the feminist nonsense that got things to this point ;) Great job to the older women! you sure helped young women! Get an education! get a career! do this.. do that.. until you're too old to have babies.. too old to marry.. and most men are looking for women 15 years younger Old women always give such great advice (to sabotage young women ) LOL
It has never been harder to find a good wife in the history of mankind unfortunately especially when the courts favor women. It just isn’t in our best interest to even consider marriage
@@AbstractAngelArtist actually most older women are on point and know the younger generation are going in a bad direction. The ones who are old and lonely are doing well to promote being lonely but they're also the loudest, certainly not the majority
I felt the same way , even asked my ex wife to take time to make sure she was in it 100% and that we agree divorce isn't an option just because things tough at times expecially the first few years , but no that meant nothing to her, I feel like for some women getting married is just something on a list to check off and move on the the next thing.
This is my biggest fear, because I know women's word don't mean $hit, and their promises are absolutely not valuable. So, you can make all agreements and commitments before marriage and she will agree 100% with everything, then few years down the road do absolutely the opposite and take have of your shit and leave, or worse take your kids and turn them your enemies. I think the ROI ( Return On Investment) in marriage in western society went to ZERO.
Wow. This whole channel has been eye opening. I can truly say I never knew men really thought like this. Thank you Sarah for creating this content. I have had more empathy and compassion towards men since watching your channel. Its great to understand men in away that I not before in my relationships.
He forgot to mention that if he does decide to leave that she will take half or all of my stuff after I've worked so hard for it. That is the number one concern of most men today
I hope that for all of us…men and women who just want to live with the love of their lives and pour their all into their relationship. I pray for that day!
Those people will never find each other, they will always set their sights on locking down a Chad or Stacy until they're burned beyond healing. Even me to a certain extent. I lowered my standards as far as I'm willing to, still wasn't enough. There is no incentive to respect the relationship and one another in today's society, anything goes and trash behavior carries no shame. I'm tapping out. Done. Thank god I have no kids to be financially obligated to going forward, that's the only plus I take away from this shitshow. 🤡
Prayers don't change courts and laws and women destroying men and fathers during divorce. before you can parrot like a robot "who hurt you??! you sound bitter! divorced?" nope. Never married. I never put myself in that position for a woman to 'hurt' me... and guess what sweetheart! MOST men aren't marrying these days. Lowest marriage rates in history. You have no "who hurt you?" to celebrate.... (which is what many of you modern women do.. you celebrate men's pain and you're programmed with Feminist lies to believe men "oppressed women" for centuries) You aren't equal to us... You're the gullible ones in society. Men built Western civilization. Now go on your merry way of "I don't need a ,am' when men invented, built and maintain everything that you see... buildings, buses, cars, roads, sewers, electrical power grid, fridges, washing machines, on and on... heating, AC.. planes, trains, phones, computers... You would be living in grass huts without men.
Every relationship inevitably ends except the one with yourself. That one is eternal. Don't be afraid to love. Don't be afraid to lose someone. Don't be afraid of being a statistic. Live an authentic life with the partner you choose for as long as you both can be together. You absolutely will say goodbye to them, one day, one way or another. Just open your heart and love. Be love.
Bravo! (Brava?) I am a woman of 70, and was married for 25 years, thru ups and downs, et al. Turns out, although we were always there for each other, he wanted more intimacy than I could give, as much as I loved him and was fully committed. After he cheated the second time, I needed us to end. No kids. Not a problem. Getting over this took me nearly a decade. I now believe that compatibility factors can change over time, despite mutual active commitment to communication and development. So, while I get what this speaker is saying, in today's world, very little is absolute. The commentator I am responding to here, has the most resilient and healthy self awareness. The guy in the vidlet breaks my heart. Yet it's vital to risk failure. That's the way to learn and build courage. Thank you in for reading!
Got married at 21 been married 25 years. Don’t worry about failing too much. You WILL fail and fall, so will she, that’s life. Just make sure you have a wife and you’re a husband that is there to help each other to get back up.
Work your whole life to make it safe and comfortable to then bring in someone who didn't contribute a single thing to that achievement just so she can potentially take half of something she didn't earn.
That's not always true. In some countries, the good you have achieved before marriage are yours and only yours (if you don't add the other person afterwards as owner). You keep them regardless of divorce but.. You don't get your life back. I would fight for the same goods I have now over again if I could have someone to fight along with me.. But you won't get your trist back, you won't get your time back, your emotions, your mind! If you're in good shape, you can achieve them a second time, but the damage you take won't heal.
@@RovilleX AIN'T taking anything with me when I die---- BUT it would have been nice to enjoy them on the way out. 9 years out and finally getting a relationship with 3 out of 4 kids like I had before filing and before my ex got in their heads! Adults now--- so lost out on a few years of their lives that can never be made up for----what I valued the most! Has taken me almost that long to get my head screwed back on and motivated to do shit I never finished when I filed--- LOST MY DESIRE, DRIVE, REASON TO DO LITTLE MORE THAN WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!!!
Id rather die alone than die early from a bad relationship and have to keep existing until i die. Patience is a virtue. The good thing come to those who wait. Just enjoy your solitude until that point.
bro, I use to think that way but it's all an illusion that other paint inside your head. I hit the brickyard way too many times. Now I just concentrate on myself to be happy and slowly put things in place when I go so family will be taken care off. please love yourself and do what makes you happy because we're never promised tomorrow.
None of us wanted to fail, we built a life together and I worked hard to support us and have a nice life but someway after 35 years I failed. She walked away…
That's terrible ! Reading comments on here really makes me wonder about women andcI am one. Now I know why I don't hang around hardly any. They back stab their female friends too. I hope you are doing OK.
Women these days don't care to remain married. For any reason they can leave and basically get paid to do so. Plenty still like getting married with intention of divorce.
I am "one and done" because divorce is SOOoo HIGH in my family. I just couldn't handle the PAIN of divorce...which is why I'm still searching, ...while continuing to increase my self-love. God will place her in my life when she's ready. 😌🙏❤️✨
Sending you a digital hug bro. If men like you told me this in my 20's and even up to today it would've spared me a lot of pain while dating. Whoever the lucky lady is, she's gonna be blessed 💯
where do y'all get these stories? Every one is these videos has gentlemen in the comments saying that divorce leaves men with nothing. I know states have different laws, but this is not how these things work. I've worked in a family law office. Even if you don't pay your child support, it doesn't affect visitation/custody with the children. (and statistics say--last I checked--that men do better financially after divorce, and women do worse financially after divorce.) Do y'all just live near some really wild family law judges?? 🤔⚖️
where do y'all get these stories? Every one is these videos has gentlemen in the comments saying that divorce leaves men with nothing. I know states have different laws, but this is not how these things work. I've worked in a family law office. Even if you don't pay your child support, it doesn't affect visitation/custody with the children. (and statistics say--last I checked--that men do better financially after divorce, and women do worse financially after divorce.) Do y'all just live near some really wild family law judges?? 🤔⚖️
Man im starting to see so many well spoken men speak about things i have only thought about. Helps to ease my thoughts and secure my sanity. Well spoken my guy. Well spoken.
or divorced again. scared to fail hit me deep, then the wife left. Now I'm free to rebuild my way, true to myself, and honest about my needs and feelings.
I will never get married again. My ex left me in July of this year after 20 years together. I was hospitalized and diagnosed with severe heart disease. She left after I got out of the hospital. Told me I was now useless to her and she didn’t need me nor want me anymore. She moved in with another guy the same day she moved out of our place and already has a date set to marry him a mere three weeks after when our divorce will be finalized.
@@proberts4243 Same thing happened to me, we had 8 very good years together, I got my lungs messed up by isocyanate in paint working on vehicle parts for her dad. I could not breathe for months. Just as I started to improve, she decided to jump on her 'soulmate' that she had met just five weeks prior. That was 2013. She falsely accused me and I sat in jail for two weeks for things I could not physically have done. Running a few hundred yards when I could barely walk 10 yards, sure thing. Her soulmate split up with her after about 4 years, she turned 40 back in August, she has been alone and unwanted ever since, living off her dad who pays her bills and her rent. She was set for life with me, and her dad knew it. Her mom encouraged her to leave me for that other guy, then they met him. They loathed that kid. Of course they hate me for all of it, blaming me, trying to extort money from me nearly ten years later. Its always the man's fault, the woman is always a victim no matter what she does. So look on the bright side, provided the cancer doesn't come back and evict you from your meat suit, you can rebuild your life and do whatever you want with it. I did exactly that. I bought 13 acres of woodland, closed on it one week after the divorce was final. Started building my shop and house two years later, because I was still having half of my income given to the first ex. Now I have a bunch of vintage Pontiac muscle cars, GM trucks, and I am building another shop next summer. I will never marry again, never commit to a girl, and I won't let them live with me. They can come visit, spend the night, then they gotta go home. I have rules, and if they run afoul of any of those very simple and basic rules, they never see or hear from me again. I pretty much stopped dating four years ago, but I have a handful of girls around the country I can get with if I am her part of the world. I don't spend much time, energy and on them, and zero money goes their way. My bud brought a chick out to my place yesterday and she had the audacity to ask me to buy her a freakin horse. You can't make this stuff up.
Same thing I've wanted all my life, but I'll never find it, so I gave up on dating. Problem is, these women today say they want a good man, but they dont. They want the bad boys, the assholes, the ones who just hit it and quit it. They've all been ran thru by these bad boys and get hurt, but keep making the same mistakes while us good guys are sitting here scratching our heads.
Exactly, I’m not a cheater, I don’t play childish games with women’s emotions, I’m loyal and looking for something deeper that just sex and it turns all women off.
go meet women at church, or talk to the woman before giving up on her as a prospect. You could also go to Turning Point USA rallies, or anti-abortion rallies, as those women tend to be very proud of their state as good people who don't want to be part of the current bs. To clarify though, TPUSA and Anti-Abortion are both political things, so if you don't agree with right wing politics it won't be as applicable to you, but I found that there are plenty of good women in the world, you just need to find where they group up if you can't find any where you are. You likely either miss truly good ones due to your own inaccuracy, or you're truly accurate, they all suck where you are looking, and obviously you ought to look elsewhere.
Thank you for being humble enough to own your own imperfections. We all have to learn how to be a great spouse and we all make mistakes. You are on your way to healing because you aren't on here blaming women (who turned out bad too), for your choices. I see this channel bring out so much hatred with men against women, without these same men owning their own part in the bad relationship. Thank you again for being mature & responsible....I appreciate this attitude.
This made my heart break, because for most of the time... It may never happen. I just hope this man will find hope, and I pray that one day he will. I pray not just for myself, but for him and for us all.
There are many men like him, and are the ones that are ignored because of appearance, lack of status, or ?? We are the ones that would love to look in a womans eyes and tell her she is what we thought of all day.
This is exactly me after losing everything and becoming homeless after investing all my money, time, and love into my last ex who hid his abusive alcoholic behavior until I moved in with him. What gives me hope: 1. Overcoming the fear of it happening again and being wiser (but avoiding paranoia that only seeks out red flags) 2. Taking accountability for my choices that allowed me to stay in such a toxic relationship and cope in unhealthy ways 3. Also being determined to not be a statistic 4. Regaining trust in not only other people but myself that I've gone through what I've gone through and there's a reason the rear-view mirror is smaller than the windshield: to keep looking forward! Most of us (especially us "red-pilled" men and women) really are better together than we are apart, so I hope for blessings on those of us who desire a faithful committed relationship. 💛
Outside my grandparents' generation I don't see many marriages still in the game to be able to last till the end. Sooner or later they all broke apart.
Do you know that we can also pick ourselves up? I once thought I was broken. Just another statistic of society. I met someone who was also looking to become another statistic of society in a different way. Believe it of not, we helped fix each other and built our lives around each other over 21 years. My second marriage, his first. He stated he would never get married. And I am so proud of us because that never get married from us both lead to 21 years of a very happy marriage. Even in the worst of times. It's better having someone by your side in the bad times more so than in the good times. Believe me, that shows just how strong your love is.
Don't actually wish for that. You want a good woman that will treat you right . Don't go spending alot of money on any right away. No extravagant dinners the first few dates. I didn't realize how many gold diggers are out there . Just reading comments woke me up. Sad.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 so if you live in poverty you can’t have kids and a wife? Sometimes poverty is all we can achieve is poverty the ultimate denier of having everything else that society has
100% agree, and a lot of us men are scared of the failing eachother as we have pinned blame on ourselves for some and have been horrifically failed in the past.
Unfortunately this fear runs so deep that it even affects men who haven’t even dealt with a bad relationship. My boyfriend and I started dating at 15, we‘re each other’s first partner. I once asked him when he saw us getting married if we made it to that stage. He said he wanted to wait to late 20s/early 30s and when I asked him for his reasoning his immediate response was that he wanted to make sure that I truly was the good person he believed me to be. He’s never had another girlfriend and yet he’s so afraid that he’ll wind up like so many others that he would rather date me for around 15 years than take a chance and honestly, I can’t blame him.
@@taumag5884 I’ve actually proposed ideas like that but he’s not really on board. I’ve offered to sign pre nups, told him to not buy me expensive things, offered to work and pay for all of my own things up until we have children, and then start a business from home so I can take care of them while also still bringing in money. He’s really hesitant about it though because he really wants a traditional marriage. He loves buying me stuff, he wants me at home and not working, and he really wants to be able to say that he’s married under the law because he knows that if it’s not a legally binding marriage that most people would see him as someone afraid of committing. And while I’m super grateful that he wants to give me such an amazing life I’m definitely worried because he gets no real benefit from it. It’s only stressing him out trying to make sure I won’t leave him.
@@taumag5884 yeah he definitely has a bad fear of public judgement, and I would love to help him overcome it, but because of the difference in how men and women view stuff whenever he does open up a bit I never understand it the way he means, and so he says he would rather just talk about his problems with his male friends. All of them live in different states and so I’ve never met any of them, but I’d love to just be able to talk to one of them and ask if they could help him out. He definitely needs some support because right now he’s trying to take on more than he should, and he isn’t even 20 yet. As someone that used to be a really bad people pleaser I really don’t want him to get to the point that I did. It’s very emotionally exhausting trying to make everyone happy and still not believing that you’ve done enough.
This guy is a sweetheart ❤ I know there are more good men out there like him and It’s a struggle dating. I wish I could tell this guy There ARE women that are not cheating Golddiggers
Saddest part , by the time you find a good one everything you worked for all that is gone distroyed by the ones that abuse you and leave you alone and broken
Because of his hard work and sacrifices he has accomplished so much already and a poor decision with a wife could be life changing. A lot variables that are out of his control could affect everything. The responsibility of someone depending on you to provide and protect, Is not something to be taken lightly.
He climbed the mountain and chickypoo can divorce him, take his HOUSE and kids and fuk his life. He’s literally WORRYING about something that hasn’t even happened. Hell, he’s not even married yet. I feel you brother
Men naturally evaluate risks before decisions. Because we are always the ones who have to accept responsibility. The risk calculus on marriage is WAY off the charts today, and is totally unacceptable to any reasonable, intelligent man. Marriage is not worth the cost when the woman pulls the pin on the divorce grenade. And she doesn't even need a valid reason today with no-fault divorce.
That's sucks that many women are takers. I never realized how aweful it is for men until reading comments. It's depressing . No wonder I don't get along well with many women or I just don't hang out with too many . They use their female friends too.
So many men in your position, Loren. Younger men like myself that haven't married yet listen to horror stories like yours and have decided to not get married. No way I spend almost two decades of my life trying to make something of myself only to get reset. If I fail her, I get reset. If she fails me, I get reset. In both scenarios, she ejects with a cash prize. Not gonna be me!
He won't, because women are not raised to be good wives anymore, they are encouraged to make poor choices in life, live for the moment, act on a whim, follow the impulsiveness that is so common in them. They are not taught to persistently stay and work things out, make life better by working together as a team, and to not give up when they think someone better shows a little interest. Its NOT the men who are causing this, men lose everything in a divorce and are indentured to the ex for a decade or more. Sure there are a few men who have lots of girls on rotation, who are banging everything around them like a screen door in a tornado. That is not most men, that is the top 10% of men, who have money, looks, height, and can just sit back and let girls throw panties at them. Most men are like this guy in the video, doing well for himself, but not well enough to keep someone happy who thinks she deserves a billionaire with two helicopters and his own personal island. That is not too far off what most girls think they deserve, at least that is how they act. Unless he goes to South America or South East Asia, stays there with her and immerses himself in their culture, he has an 80% chance of losing everything he has worked for. The divorce rate is currently dropping, but its because nobody is getting married. Six dolts out of a thousand are willing to take the inordinate risk with nearly zero benefit to him. So no, we are not afraid of commitment, we are not intimidated by girls either, but we are not going to write that check and risk our futures on someone who has every incentive to use the state to take it all from us. Young men like him saw what happened to me and my generation, the smart ones want no part of it. So it falls to the ladies to fix the laws, themselves, and society rather than continually blaming all of us because we don't want to put our head on the chopping block of family court.
Don't use phrases like "emotionally unavailable". That's their language. Not yours and not mine. Working on yourself just means you know you need to improve so you can be the best version of yourself. It doesn't mean you are unavailable. It means you are not playing the game they want you to be playing.
Facing your fears takes courage. Facing a long term relationship requires trust in your partner, and yourself. Not that mistakes wont be made, but that you'll have the courage to get through it. You've already demonstrated you have what it takes if you can be this forthright.
That’s where I’m at too. Didn’t get married, thank god. But now, my daughter doesn’t get a normal united family. Probably just gunna stay single. Don’t want to sacrifice more than I already have. The system isn’t built for men to feel safe welcoming a new woman in their lives.
There isn't such a thing as a normal united family. Every family has skeletons in their closet. Some families are ready happy and loving to each other. This should be normal , but it doesn't fit the norm. Many family are split up and many families would be better off if they were especially in abusive relationships. Being a good father is important.
I know she’s mentioned the overwhelming number of proposals she gets in her DM’s, but based on her reaction she just might decide to slip into someone else’s DM’s for a change. 🤣🤣🤣
That fear is real because the consequences of failure are a million times more devastating in this day and age compared to even 10 years ago let alone 20. I know because I have lived it. Its a miracle that I am even alive. The fear of failure is real because it can become a permanent thing.
It's a scary feeling to think that no matter how hard you've tried to become the man that you need to be in order to provide for the family that you've waited for that you'll never be able to provide for them. Or be able to keep your soulmate from choosing someone who appears to be a better provider for her children than you.
Plenty of women want to marry. 75% of those also want a divorce. The contract of marriage is the only contract where one person doesn't have to fulfill their part of agreement and still takes half the profits. It's a bad deal for men. Women file for divorce 75% of the times of all divorces. Basically no pressure for women if it doesn't work out they just cash out.
@@taumag5884 most of my guy friends are either married, gay, or they are my clients and I don’t date clients for professional reasons. I work so much running a small business (just me cutting hair in a suite), I literally have no time to date 🙁 I tried the online thing, and I used both Match and Bumble, and even though I put looking for a relationship, the only people I got were people looking to hit it and quit it or they were older than my mom and dad. I was stupid and dated 2 men for the majority of my 20s to the age of 32. I’m now 34 and the only guys interested are like I said, either dudes just wanting something casual or guys older than my parents. I guess it’s a “me,” thing. I work hard, take care of myself physically, mentally, spiritually and financially, volunteer in my community and I’m not a super model but I also don’t look like a dog. I’ve been described as “very pretty,” but still cannot find that connection. I feel terrible for guys bc all of this video is true and then some, but once you’re a woman in your mid thirties, the interest just doesn’t seem to be there from men my age. I’ve been told I’m “passed my prime,” bc apparently that is somewhere between 18 and 25 (said by multiple men’s podcasts, not me) but I can’t help that the guy I was dating at that time passed away.
@@jeremyd8778 welp, I have my own business, car and home so I really could care less about the material assets a man brings to the table. I want loyalty and a genuine connection. I agree with you, but I’ve never been married and I am not in that 75% of women 🤷♀️
There are no guarantees. After three serious relationship fails I found the woman of my dreams. 12 years, the best of my life. She passed away one day from a blood clot. Life works in mysterious ways. The best we can do is keep moving forward. Take a chance without it you have no chance.
This is exactly me after losing everything and becoming homeless after investing all my money, time, and love into my last ex who hid his abusive alcoholic behavior until I moved in with him. What gives me hope: 1. Overcoming the fear of it happening again and being wiser (but avoiding paranoia that only seeks out red flags) 2. Taking accountability for my choices that allowed me to stay in such a toxic relationship and cope in unhealthy ways 3. Also being determined to not be a statistic 4. Regaining trust in not only other people but myself that I've gone through what I've gone through and there's a reason the rear-view mirror is smaller than the windshield: to keep looking forward! Most of us (especially us "red-pilled" men and women) really are better together than we are apart, so I hope for blessings on those of us who desire a faithful committed relationship. 💛
Most men reveal their underlying issues after you've fully committed to them. Irritating when men tell women they should have chosen better. Frankly sometimes the best choice is a cat. My last bf was redpilled. Never again being with a redpilled guy, not interested in being dominated and subjugated.
Wow I’m a guy tearing up and it’s exactly how I feel. I wish women can until that we all want love. Just to show love and to express it without being judged
"I'm not scared of commitment..I want to be 100% sure... I don't want a divorce.. & I don't want to be a statistic"....Man nailed it on the head right there.
I'm divorced and it sucks. I never wanted a divorce, but I didn't have a plan in place like this. I was young, he was young we were 21 and 23 and I was pregnant and that's mainly the reason why we got married, not a good idea, but for me I took that as, this is our marriage and it's going to work we are not getting divorced and when you don't really know the person or don't have a plan in place, it literally just falls apart. And then when you have kids, it's even worse, they're 18 and 16 now and it's like wow if I ever decide to start over I need to make sure I'm completely ready.
You don't need to go through the seasons or even the years to know what a woman's (girlfriend's) character is. Look at her postings on her FB page, talk to people who've known her, listen and watch her behavior, look at what she purchases.. If a man cannot judge personal character, he will have zero chance in a intimate relationship.
@@christopher5585 Agreed usually if both families are tight marriage is very successful.
A women will say the same thing until Chad comes by to give her a little validation.
Twice divorced... had to start over with nothing but a sleeping bag and clothes
This is slowly becoming the majority of men
That has been me for almost all of my life, and I'm 56. Having someone to love, who would love me in return . . . such a simple little request. Yet, I'm convinced fulfilling that request will require a combined Act of God and Congress. The West is done. It may not collapse for a few more years; it might even drunkenly stagger its way through another decade or two, but the West has failed. The lunatics are running the asylum and there is no hope.
@@righthandwolf306 - Big up dear Brother!
Men are tired of loosing. He said it. Worked hard for a home, car, his dog. The system is so rigged against Men. Ask me how I know. I lost my kids, wife, house savings account, half my pension, my ira. I’m 46 years old and starting over again all because she said I worked too much. She never had to work at all. She has sole custody of our three kids. Receives child support and spousal support. Take it from me guys don’t get married. Oh and she still doesn’t work from the 4,300 a month she gets from me. I’m not bitter but certainly aware. Prenuptial agreement if your going to get married.
So true, beside those who are left behind since all attention is on women’s condition.
@@jasongreen5439 -
Damn Brother, I feel for You mate!
Keep Grinding, you will get the reward!
But You are 100% right, the system is rigged!
And these woman's wants even more!
Crazy stuff!
Thanks you made this 51 year old man cry his eyes out, you really hit a nerve, I relate soooo much. I thought I did that for my ex, but she failed us by cheating on me. Where are are all the good women?….😢😭
God bless you
I totally feel similarly.
Yup, Divorce sucks, and not interested in meeting solipsistic, unreliable modern women. I am a person, not a bank account.
All the good women are already happily married. Leaving the.....
Stay strong buddy.... 💪🏻👍🏻👊🏻
A lot of us feel that way. I have huge respect for that guy being willing to be so vulnerable and I'm grateful to you for posting it and being such an advocate for healthy relationships between men and women.
The scary thing is that you can do everything right and still completely fail because of the whims of life or the whims of the person you invited in. So much is out of your control.
This is exactly me after losing everything and becoming homeless after investing all my money, time, and love into my last ex who hid his abusive alcoholic behavior until I moved in with him. I thought I did everything right and sensed no "red flags" with him. I loved having dinner ready when he came home from work, but now will never play house with a man again.
What gives me hope:
1. Overcoming the fear of it happening again and being wiser (but avoiding paranoia that only seeks out red flags)
2. Taking accountability for my choices that allowed me to stay in such a toxic relationship and cope in unhealthy ways
3. Also being determined to not be a statistic
4. Regaining trust in not only other people but myself that I've gone through what I've gone through and there's a reason the rear-view mirror is smaller than the windshield: to keep looking forward!
Most of us (especially us "red-pilled" men and women) really are better together than we are apart, so I hope for blessings on those of us who desire a faithful committed relationship. 💛
And she can take everything on her way out
And that's where I invite prayer.
So true, my ex hid really well the liar, cheater and thief he was until after we married I tried to make it work and support his dreams, but when you find out you are the only one trying , you know you are done Wasted 10 years of my life Found out recently, as I had always expected that he had a son during our marriage I guess it wouldn’t have mattered if I found out before,he just bled my soul dry with all his lies Do I have trust issues, big time I still hope to find the one I can trust Meanwhile I spend my time having the best life I can
I'm living proof of that. Had a good life and a loving relationship just a few short years ago. She decided I wasn't good enough. Then came the plandemic, wildfires, back stabbing employers. I lost everything and now rely on the support of others for basic needs. This life takes no prisoners and I'm glad I'm in the last season of my life as I really don't think I can take much more of this human experience.
Wow i can really feel his fear. It takes a brave and very strong man to admit his fears.
Not to mention that he is probably lonely. Women complain there are no good men. How many men do women think are like this. ?
We as men always express our fears but when we do we are looked at as being weak so this is why we keep things bottled up
Because of You fail in a marriage, or married someone who doesn't care of You, You can loose everything, kids, money, house...
Yes Sarah can feel it too,hopefully this brave man's speech will get other blokes opening up about their goals and fears too.
@@juansebastianovalleguerra3467 Subscribe to "Ask an older man ". There's a short about how to use a pre marriage trust to protect yourself against that.
I cried. I have two amazing boys in their 30s and they can't find good, wise and mature women. I have been praying before they were born, for only God can give us good partners.
I got married at 19 In 1977. We just celebrated 45 years.we have faced the vicissitudes of life and traveled the world together. Unfortunately I in 2013 I suffered the first heart attack and over the last 9years have become severely disabled. My wife is at my side constantly caring for me. When I was strong I took the lead. When things where tight we shared the drive. My wife was 17 we had nothing but faith in each other. Our motto has always been Carpe deum . Fortune favors the brave. Good luck my friend.
Commitment that is not reciprocated or equally valued and honored. That’s the fear.
Honestly, as a woman, I can relate.
Yes. That's at the root of it.
@AliSand the really messed up bit is there are countless men with their own divorce baggage, baby momma drama, bitterness, etc who expect to be accepted. Many dudes are just as "damaged" for the exact same reasons. & yet, so many ppl just want to waste time pointing fingers instead of healing.
100%
I was the same, waited till I was in my 40s, made sure I was in a great place, for the same reasons. Then I found the person, we discussed pre marriage that divorce. Wasn't an option going in, and I asked her to say no if she couldn't commit to us no matter what..... 8 years later all I got from her was " I know divorce was never an option...... But we're getting a divorce" . No, she was never beaten, treated poorly, we were financially in a good place, she was safe, secure and supported on her endeavors. What I learned is, you can only do your best, but its not MY responsibility to make anyone happy, I can try to make an environment where happiness can grow, but if someone else isn't happy, they need to determine why. If im part of it, I'm willing to evaluate, help, support and if warranted, try to change. Best of luck guys, it's hard to find a woman who will hang in a marriage through any hard times rather than looking/ leaving for the bigger better deal. I put this on woman as 80% of all divorce filings come from the woman, not the man and until we get rid of no fault divorce, there is really ZERO incentive for a man to ever get married. I'd love to get married again, I love the idea, I loved being married but there really is no incentive at all.
Now I know who was living a life that was 100% parallel to mine, even to the last detail. Easier for her to get a no fault divorce than it was to get a library card. Unf***ingbelievable. Definitely no incentive for her to stay together- but there was plenty of incentive to divorce. Actually wish her the best in her quest for happiness, and if she finds it- so be it, even if it’s without me. Just hope she realizes what it cost in terms of the wreckage along the way and TO the wreckage along the way as I will never trust again. Ever. Best of luck to you brother.
Brother, get your passport in order and go find a real woman in a country that still has a family based culture like Brazil, Thailand, Asia and more. You will be a happy man. BUT DO NOT - NOT! bring her back here . That's gone in America thanks to the woke trash and there's going to be a lot of women 28 & up living alone, no children and no family. And they've earned every bit of it.
@@sirferr3870 Same message to you too: Brother, get your passport in order and go find a real woman in a country that still has a family based culture like Brazil, Thailand, Asia and more. You will be a happy man. BUT DO NOT - NOT! bring her back here . That's gone in America thanks to the woke trash and there's going to be a lot of women 28 & up living alone, no children and no family. And they've earned every bit of it.
Best of Luck to both of you. It seems like people who want a divorce come from a family that had a divorce. My wife and I have been married for 33 years and I am thankful every day. None of our parents had been divorced and we both agreed that it was not an option. Take care
She wants the next big thing , it's in her DNA Helix
Amen to that! I'm right there with him on all of this. And I am a woman. It scares us too!
Except woman are the ones filing for divorce at over an 80% rate. And women are the ones who typically benefit, walking away with cash and prizes they didn't earn, and the majority of child custody, as well as lifetime alimony payments in some states. If YOU as a woman are scared to marry, then men are TERRIFIED since they bear the brunt of losses and damage in the divorce.
It scares 20% of women, the other 80% are initiating divorce
This breaks my heart. Giving your all to someone who just tore you to pieces for almost 2 decades… you take years to heal. Then find out so many are just frightened. This makes me so sad. It really feels hopeless.
As a 52 year old, happily married woman, this is heartbreaking. For society to degrade to the point where people are scared of the most exciting and natural part of life, courtship and commitment, is the beginning of the end.
Society has been degrading since before you were born. And it can all be pointed back to a specific decade.
You should have said and made changes 52 years ago ..
@@coldhardtruth333 you can’t put it all on a stranger on the internet. I mean, you can try but it’s foolish.
At some point in the future someone will say to you the same as what you had said here, and the cycle continues.
Personally, all I’m hoping for is a future where we’re in the cycle of ‘hard times create strong men’. And do not perpetually stay in a state of ‘weak men create hard times’. Because my greatest fear is that technology will continue to progress and eat up humanity the way it has been doing. And humanity in the future is living some Nineteen Eighty Four/ Brave New World futurist technocratic dictatorial dystopia.
And I hope that person in the future who says the words which you have said to OP is saying it in a world closer resembling Mad Max than Equilibrium.
I agree
Because you cannot predict what happens tomorrow....How can you predict the way marriage will go for decades ahead?..😀😀
What is love and commitment? It's something you live and it's something that grows over time. Around 25 years ago my wife was in a severe car wreck where her feet and ankles were crushed. Then she was struck with rheumatoid arthritis. For all those years I took her to one doctor after another, helped her in and out of the car, the house, businesses, etc., because she could barely walk. She gradually got worse and worse, to the the point where for the last month she could not get out of bed by herself. Sometimes I carried her to the bathroom and sometimes I cleaned her after she soiled the bed. I buried her today.
A week ago, while she was still coherent, she could not stop thanking me for helping her all those years, apologizing for being a burden, and telling me how much she loved me. When you love someone, they are never a burden and you do all you can because you want to. No apology is needed, no commitment is demanded, and no burden is felt. I would give anything to carry her where ever she needed to go just one more time.
Love is not "What's in it for me", "These are my requirements", or any other new age, selfish pablum. It's not even about you. It's all about giving yourself to another as they give themselves to you. It is a selfless act that endures forever through anything life throws at you and it's the hardest and easiest thing you'll ever do.
Cheetus, what a beautiful comment and what a wonderful man that you are. That is the kind of thing every woman such as myself would love from the man she loves. God bless you dear!
And I am so sorry for your loss!
Words of wisdom. Thats what love is about. Good on you for a life well lived. Unfortunately it seems very difficult to come by in this complicated world. Life has dealt me some blows and I feel utterly broken. At 58 I've given up finding that kind of love again.
Wish it were that simple, but it ain't.
There are countless men out there with your story as well... only difference is when the woman gets better and/or the man gets put into a similar tragic situation, she bails and leaves him behind, now content with moving "upward and onwards" with her life, to better days.
No memory or appreciation of the past, her roots, or the sacrifices taken for her.
I met a girl. We dated for 5yrs. Things felt right so we got engaged. Just to be sure, we slowly planned how we would wed and after 7yrs, we tied the knot. I felt sure she was the one. We had grown and been together for so long. It was a lock solid deal. Then after being married for 6yrs (as she approached her 40th) she began to withdraw and started to hang out with people she met at the gym. And by the end of our 7th anniversary she left me for a guy she met at that gym. Almost 20yrs down the tubes. I knew this was my only chance to be married and now I can’t even face dating again. It’s been almost 10yrs and I’m okay with me and where I am, but the betrayal still hurts.
Have you heard from her again?
I totally feel him on the failing part because that's one thing I don't want to do is spell my family with the good intentions I have
I wanted that too. She decided I wasn't good enough.
Then you were too good for her if you aren't physically and / or mentally abusive or boring.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I feel your pain, my friend.
That it. Spent 1/2 a mil on failure. Can’t retire now because of it b
Story of my life. The women in my life have always said I'm not good enough in way or another.
Then she was the one who wasn't good enough. That's why I don't have a lot of respect for certain females who are too picky, judgemental, absent-minded, greedy, or selfish. If you were willing to work on it, have good communication, be honest with each other, and see each other for the person they are on the inside, then that's about it. If she isn't, then she's not the one.
This guy has some serious balls. The way he is willing to put it out there is Awesome! He has to know how weaponized and or dissected that video could become. Good for that guy, serious man up!!
There is a point at which you no longer care how others take what you say, Shaun. I wish I had reached that point long before my 50s, but I didn't and I have to play the hand I am dealt.
Some people can express themselves
The issue I got is trust!
I don't trust the system, it's made for woman who want to misuse it.
I would like nothing else to marry, but to do that I have to sign a prenup otherwise it's impossible!
And it has to include the children's future.
@@Bear-cm1vl I’m with ya, Bear! 64 and keep trudging on…
That's not balls, it's genius! He listed every reason for a woman to want him - house, car, stable income, and a desire for a real relationship... they'll be knocking down his door for a date! This video will turn the women into aggressors!
This was the same thing that I wanted out of life. And I have to say that I was lucky in that regard, I was married to my wife for 32 years, when she passed in early 2021. We, like any other couple, had our ups and downs, but we were happy, and we always had each other's backs.
Damn, hearing my fears said to me out loud hit so hard. I don't want to be a single dad mannnn i wanna be happily married.
Yes! Me too. But l live in the wrong city, l have the wrong car, and l have the wrong career. I'm homely, l have no personality, and l have zero gravitas. I'm destined to spen the rest of my life alone.
*Sarah thank you for showing your own emotion whilst watching this brave courageous man speak truth about his fears...it's in your eyes. You must be an amazing woman to be speaking up for men like me out there. Thank you from the heart Sarah*
I stand with you guys. ❤️ y’all get treated like trash, I know how that feels and it’s fucking terrible 😞
@@sarahr6084 🧠👁👀🎯
@@sarahr6084 Thanks Sarah
@@Perun.Tha.Unvaxxd I don’t know what that means, I hope it’s not bad 😂 I’m the worst lol people I text with, etc think I’m 80 or something.
@@sarahr6084 it's a damn good thing. It means your mind can see what your eyes don't always catch and that you're over the target, of this particular issue plaguing men and women.
Thank you for speaking up. More women need to do so.
Totally understand. The pain of listening to my ex chant (with her lawyer) "Abuse, abuse" in court has ruined me. Mind you, when she found the brain tumor I stayed.... cleaned her bedside toilet... did the best I could.... but I lost my family, my money (she tried to take everything), my house.... and the judge was told I was an abuser.
If she had a brain tumor it for sure did some damage even if benign. I am in a very similar situation. Please try your best to forgive her because some of hwr bad behavior may not be under her control. Believe me, I know it's difficult. But brain injuries really do change a person so I hope you can forgive and remember the good times. I wish you the very best going forward. 💜🙏 May you find healthy love.
@@sakitoby1581 Understand.... but what the brain knows sometimes doesn't get to the heart very fast.
@@geek49203 brain tumors can't be an excuse for ruining someone's else's life. It's not your fault, stay strong mate!
If you find a notebook cataloging every time you fucked up and twice as many times where you didn't, but she spun it to make it appear that you did,
Steel it,
Put it in the custody of a trusted friend,
And file before she does.
The notebook is for the purposes of something known as "191 factors".
Which are courtroom exhibits against your custody of the children.
@@geek49203 Agreed, it doesn't make the damage done any less painful. Might even hurt worse, because you can't just hate them, clean and simple. It's more complicated than that, and there's not a thing you can do to change things. 😥 Good luck, wish you the best.
Most decent men feel exactly like that. 👍 😔
The saddest part is these days men are waiting longer and longer to get married and start families meaning they are very unlikely to be alive or at least lively when they get to have grandchildren.☹️
The smart ones do neither and have peaceful stress-free lives.
@@johnmitchell2269 Participating in the end of humankind..smart ? That sounds anti-biology to me lol
@@mistypedhi The smart ones being men from the states. The rest of the world can breed like rabbits.
All the good men are out with their buddies having the time of their lives.
Gay
100%
Same buddies are also saying... can't believe you have a good wife who puts up with your crap.
When said good wife gets tired and leave... same buddies say... you didn't need her anyway.
All the smart men
Or hanging at the end of a rope...
@@sandracastillo3317 We say that jokingly.
And what he said is exactly what happened to me. Now im 60, alone, have my dog, and heartbroken. But the worst part is, i cant afford to start over and take that risk. I feel so broken and empty.
I'm 56 in the same place....
58, same place.
45, still working through the divorce. Won't entertain the women sniffing around, including the ex who has been trying to get me back. I'm done being abused, just trying to find my peace.
@@IVIayhem you will get through it. My advice is get through it, take a year to think of yourself and learn to make you happy, then you'll be in the position to know if you want or need to put up with nonsense anymore. Me, i bought a new Harley and my dog and i are loving the single life.
@@IVIayhemTravel my man. So many beautiful traditional female waiting for you overseas. Carpe Diem
I wish we could communicate better and not be so afraid. That's why so many good people are alone with broken hearts
It's beyond communication. Please... be honest. Look at the laws and courts.
Don't try to BS men with that stuff.. you'll just end up alone. Men are tired of hearing that BS.
Oh and we're not "intimidated" by women... nor are straight men 'transphobic or homophobic'... no phobias or fears... no straight men are running down the streets terrified of gays or trans people ;)
All of this was pushed by YOUR women's movement.. Feminism.
and it's all BS!
Communicate better?
My fear of failure is making me feel like I am not good enough for anyone, no matter who she is... and so far, there are no women willing to show me I have no reason to fear, or fail. Society is sick, and it drives everyone further into this sickness.
Typical me, 38, never being married, last 5 1/2 years has been going without a girlfriend in my life.... but developing my life consistently and gradually the way i want. Everyday wake up with a happy heart and going to bed with a fulfilled day.
I think you are doing better than alot of these men. Married and depressed because they are in a loveless marriage and afraid the wife will take it all. Some are divorced and the wife took it all. Some are just plain women haters. Lol. The last relationship the guy stalked me for 4 or5 years. When you date , have her at least cook you dinner or buy lunch and not you forking out the money all the time. and make sure she makes you laugh alot
All the good ones are lost in the "Friend Zone"
Sounds so pathetic…
If their in the friend zone then test the waters, you might find a good one…
@@nightnday6675 u are an imbecile simple
Eventually they are in the friendzone because, they have not found the right one jet, but are really nice guys.
So let female friends introduce you to all her other female friends, if you are in the friendzone of a women. 😉
A friend of mine was in the friendzone of manny girls and got to know more and more female friends of these women until he found his love. They are together since 2006.
You say "friend zone" like it's a bad place to be. The "friend zone" is a fantasy land that people put themselves in. You fantasize about them being something they're not for YOU! Stop blaming others because they refuse to fulfill YOUR fantasy. The only obligations anyone has to you are they commitments that they've made... I'd be willing to bet, based on the tone of this statement, that no one that's ever 'put you in the friend zone' even knew you wanted something different. Weakness is unattractive and your fear of going after what you want OR not walking away at some point IS WEAKNESS.
I got divorced in 2004. I've dated once since then. I've been single since 2011 because the power women used to have over me was terrifying. I don't know if I have the strength to trust myself let alone someone else again.
Fear of failure is one of the most detrimental fears. If you have never failed then you have not aimed high enough.
At this point I'm committed to myself because everyone I meet seems so hard to trust.
It took the first half of my life learning to care about myself, I'm definitely not trying to get stuck with someone who's going to callously treat me like shit because it's the new wave.
This!! One thing I've recognized over the yrs is that trust & abandonment issues are 100% a 2 way street. I don't care about what anyone wants to spew about "Well you need to heal & be open." That's fine & fking dandy & partly true, but it's NOT all up to me. I've done my work. If other ppl can't show that they are reliable, can't communicate effectively, can't/ won't be honest or loyal or feel they have to rely on manipulation & mind games, no amount of my healing, acceptance, mindset will matter tok them. The best I can do is handle my own until someone can show me they're worth the time & effort... IF that happens. Tbh, I'm losing faith in that possibility with how toxic behavior is normalized these days.
I’m and old woman, and I know how hard it is to make it all work. Even when you don’t want it to fail. I see the women now, they’re pretty messed up. They don’t want what they are told to want from society, and they are certainly not going to get what they want by dominating their men. It just doesn’t work. I’m sad to see the unhappiness of this generation.
you should do what most old women do.. tell women not to marry.. not to 'depend on a man' etc. all the feminist nonsense that got things to this point ;)
Great job to the older women! you sure helped young women!
Get an education! get a career! do this.. do that.. until you're too old to have babies.. too old to marry.. and most men are looking for women 15 years younger
Old women always give such great advice (to sabotage young women ) LOL
It has never been harder to find a good wife in the history of mankind unfortunately especially when the courts favor women. It just isn’t in our best interest to even consider marriage
Most men have checked out because of family court.
@@AbstractAngelArtist given that this old woman hasn't done any of that here, why the hell are you speaking like that to her?
@@AbstractAngelArtist actually most older women are on point and know the younger generation are going in a bad direction. The ones who are old and lonely are doing well to promote being lonely but they're also the loudest, certainly not the majority
I felt the same way , even asked my ex wife to take time to make sure she was in it 100% and that we agree divorce isn't an option just because things tough at times expecially the first few years , but no that meant nothing to her, I feel like for some women getting married is just something on a list to check off and move on the the next thing.
This is my biggest fear, because I know women's word don't mean $hit, and their promises are absolutely not valuable. So, you can make all agreements and commitments before marriage and she will agree 100% with everything, then few years down the road do absolutely the opposite and take have of your shit and leave, or worse take your kids and turn them your enemies. I think the ROI ( Return On Investment) in marriage in western society went to ZERO.
What do you need marriage for? If you both have committed to each other, you don't need marriage to be together in the long run..🤷🏼♀️
@@stellar.2385 Sad to see where we heading as a society, but I have to agree with you on this.
Wow. This whole channel has been eye opening. I can truly say I never knew men really thought like this. Thank you Sarah for creating this content. I have had more empathy and compassion towards men since watching your channel. Its great to understand men in away that I not before in my relationships.
He forgot to mention that if he does decide to leave that she will take half or all of my stuff after I've worked so hard for it. That is the number one concern of most men today
Don't forget she'll take his kids as well.
I hope that for all of us…men and women who just want to live with the love of their lives and pour their all into their relationship. I pray for that day!
Yes!!!!
Those people will never find each other, they will always set their sights on locking down a Chad or Stacy until they're burned beyond healing. Even me to a certain extent. I lowered my standards as far as I'm willing to, still wasn't enough. There is no incentive to respect the relationship and one another in today's society, anything goes and trash behavior carries no shame. I'm tapping out. Done. Thank god I have no kids to be financially obligated to going forward, that's the only plus I take away from this shitshow. 🤡
@@karlosfandango5705 🤣🤣🤣👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Prayers don't change courts and laws and women destroying men and fathers during divorce.
before you can parrot like a robot "who hurt you??! you sound bitter! divorced?"
nope. Never married. I never put myself in that position for a woman to 'hurt' me... and guess what sweetheart!
MOST men aren't marrying these days. Lowest marriage rates in history.
You have no "who hurt you?" to celebrate.... (which is what many of you modern women do.. you celebrate men's pain and you're programmed with Feminist lies to believe men "oppressed women" for centuries)
You aren't equal to us... You're the gullible ones in society.
Men built Western civilization.
Now go on your merry way of "I don't need a ,am' when men invented, built and maintain everything that you see... buildings, buses, cars, roads, sewers, electrical power grid, fridges, washing machines, on and on... heating, AC.. planes, trains, phones, computers...
You would be living in grass huts without men.
One of the most beautiful videos. That man was very transparent. 🙏🏽
Every relationship inevitably ends except the one with yourself. That one is eternal. Don't be afraid to love. Don't be afraid to lose someone. Don't be afraid of being a statistic. Live an authentic life with the partner you choose for as long as you both can be together. You absolutely will say goodbye to them, one day, one way or another. Just open your heart and love. Be love.
Bravo! (Brava?) I am a woman of 70, and was married for 25 years, thru ups and downs, et al. Turns out, although we were always there for each other, he wanted more intimacy than I could give, as much as I loved him and was fully committed. After he cheated the second time, I needed us to end. No kids. Not a problem. Getting over this took me nearly a decade. I now believe that compatibility factors can change over time, despite mutual active commitment to communication and development. So, while I get what this speaker is saying, in today's world, very little is absolute. The commentator I am responding to here, has the most resilient and healthy self awareness. The guy in the vidlet breaks my heart. Yet it's vital to risk failure. That's the way to learn and build courage. Thank you in for reading!
Got married at 21 been married 25 years. Don’t worry about failing too much. You WILL fail and fall, so will she, that’s life. Just make sure you have a wife and you’re a husband that is there to help each other to get back up.
Yeah. Its not the fail in any sense. It is how you face it and deal with it. A sense of humour always helps.
It seems 20 - 30 years ago are much different than today. I hope he doesn't get fooled
Work your whole life to make it safe and comfortable to then bring in someone who didn't contribute a single thing to that achievement just so she can potentially take half of something she didn't earn.
Oh this is SO true!!!!
😭 keep striving bro
That's not always true. In some countries, the good you have achieved before marriage are yours and only yours (if you don't add the other person afterwards as owner). You keep them regardless of divorce but.. You don't get your life back. I would fight for the same goods I have now over again if I could have someone to fight along with me.. But you won't get your trist back, you won't get your time back, your emotions, your mind! If you're in good shape, you can achieve them a second time, but the damage you take won't heal.
@@RovilleX AIN'T taking anything with me when I die---- BUT it would have been nice to enjoy them on the way out. 9 years out and finally getting a relationship with 3 out of 4 kids like I had before filing and before my ex got in their heads!
Adults now--- so lost out on a few years of their lives that can never be made up for----what I valued the most!
Has taken me almost that long to get my head screwed back on and motivated to do shit I never finished when I filed--- LOST MY DESIRE, DRIVE, REASON TO DO LITTLE MORE THAN WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!!!
That's why you combine with someone that has also built on their own...
Bruh was just preachin' the Facts for a majority of Men. 👊👊✊✊👏👏👏🙏🙏
Id rather die alone than die early from a bad relationship and have to keep existing until i die. Patience is a virtue. The good thing come to those who wait. Just enjoy your solitude until that point.
bro, I use to think that way but it's all an illusion that other paint inside your head. I hit the brickyard way too many times. Now I just concentrate on myself to be happy and slowly put things in place when I go so family will be taken care off. please love yourself and do what makes you happy because we're never promised tomorrow.
Guarantee no man would say that on camera who is not a real man.... I feel you bro. Wish I would have taken my time...
None of us wanted to fail, we built a life together and I worked hard to support us and have a nice life but someway after 35 years I failed. She walked away…
That's terrible ! Reading comments on here really makes me wonder about women andcI am one. Now I know why I don't hang around hardly any. They back stab their female friends too. I hope you are doing OK.
Women these days don't care to remain married. For any reason they can leave and basically get paid to do so. Plenty still like getting married with intention of divorce.
Sorry man. I would give you a man hug.
Shes sitting here, reacting, listening, and is completely engaged in what he is saying. Take notes ladys
I am "one and done" because divorce is SOOoo HIGH in my family. I just couldn't handle the PAIN of divorce...which is why I'm still searching, ...while continuing to increase my self-love.
God will place her in my life when she's ready. 😌🙏❤️✨
Sending you a digital hug bro. If men like you told me this in my 20's and even up to today it would've spared me a lot of pain while dating. Whoever the lucky lady is, she's gonna be blessed 💯
That’s a real possibility, a crazy woman will come along and leave him on the street, be careful brother my best wishes.
where do y'all get these stories? Every one is these videos has gentlemen in the comments saying that divorce leaves men with nothing.
I know states have different laws, but this is not how these things work. I've worked in a family law office. Even if you don't pay your child support, it doesn't affect visitation/custody with the children. (and statistics say--last I checked--that men do better financially after divorce, and women do worse financially after divorce.)
Do y'all just live near some really wild family law judges?? 🤔⚖️
where do y'all get these stories? Every one is these videos has gentlemen in the comments saying that divorce leaves men with nothing.
I know states have different laws, but this is not how these things work. I've worked in a family law office. Even if you don't pay your child support, it doesn't affect visitation/custody with the children. (and statistics say--last I checked--that men do better financially after divorce, and women do worse financially after divorce.)
Do y'all just live near some really wild family law judges?? 🤔⚖️
FACTS!!!! In the same boat I know being lonely may not be healthy in the long run but I REALLY ENJOY SPENDING MY MONEY AND TIME ON ME …. For now ☺️
The same
Man im starting to see so many well spoken men speak about things i have only thought about. Helps to ease my thoughts and secure my sanity. Well spoken my guy. Well spoken.
or divorced again. scared to fail hit me deep, then the wife left. Now I'm free to rebuild my way, true to myself, and honest about my needs and feelings.
I will never get married again. My ex left me in July of this year after 20 years together. I was hospitalized and diagnosed with severe heart disease. She left after I got out of the hospital. Told me I was now useless to her and she didn’t need me nor want me anymore. She moved in with another guy the same day she moved out of our place and already has a date set to marry him a mere three weeks after when our divorce will be finalized.
@@proberts4243 Same thing happened to me, we had 8 very good years together, I got my lungs messed up by isocyanate in paint working on vehicle parts for her dad. I could not breathe for months. Just as I started to improve, she decided to jump on her 'soulmate' that she had met just five weeks prior. That was 2013.
She falsely accused me and I sat in jail for two weeks for things I could not physically have done. Running a few hundred yards when I could barely walk 10 yards, sure thing.
Her soulmate split up with her after about 4 years, she turned 40 back in August, she has been alone and unwanted ever since, living off her dad who pays her bills and her rent. She was set for life with me, and her dad knew it. Her mom encouraged her to leave me for that other guy, then they met him. They loathed that kid.
Of course they hate me for all of it, blaming me, trying to extort money from me nearly ten years later. Its always the man's fault, the woman is always a victim no matter what she does.
So look on the bright side, provided the cancer doesn't come back and evict you from your meat suit, you can rebuild your life and do whatever you want with it.
I did exactly that. I bought 13 acres of woodland, closed on it one week after the divorce was final. Started building my shop and house two years later, because I was still having half of my income given to the first ex.
Now I have a bunch of vintage Pontiac muscle cars, GM trucks, and I am building another shop next summer. I will never marry again, never commit to a girl, and I won't let them live with me. They can come visit, spend the night, then they gotta go home. I have rules, and if they run afoul of any of those very simple and basic rules, they never see or hear from me again.
I pretty much stopped dating four years ago, but I have a handful of girls around the country I can get with if I am her part of the world. I don't spend much time, energy and on them, and zero money goes their way.
My bud brought a chick out to my place yesterday and she had the audacity to ask me to buy her a freakin horse. You can't make this stuff up.
Same thing I've wanted all my life, but I'll never find it, so I gave up on dating. Problem is, these women today say they want a good man, but they dont. They want the bad boys, the assholes, the ones who just hit it and quit it. They've all been ran thru by these bad boys and get hurt, but keep making the same mistakes while us good guys are sitting here scratching our heads.
And they want a good man to heal them later on....
Exactly, I’m not a cheater, I don’t play childish games with women’s emotions, I’m loyal and looking for something deeper that just sex and it turns all women off.
The fact that you use the term “ ran thru” shows your horrible opinion of women They should all stay away from you and men like you We deserve better
go meet women at church, or talk to the woman before giving up on her as a prospect. You could also go to Turning Point USA rallies, or anti-abortion rallies, as those women tend to be very proud of their state as good people who don't want to be part of the current bs. To clarify though, TPUSA and Anti-Abortion are both political things, so if you don't agree with right wing politics it won't be as applicable to you, but I found that there are plenty of good women in the world, you just need to find where they group up if you can't find any where you are. You likely either miss truly good ones due to your own inaccuracy, or you're truly accurate, they all suck where you are looking, and obviously you ought to look elsewhere.
@@feartheghus Religious women are still girls, they do things for your own good under the excuse of religion.
Women are what they are
I felt this brothers heart and sincerity!
Thanks for sharing!!!
What a dream guy, hope he connects with his love, just a beautiful statement of truth
The reason I'm single is because I picked the wrong person so many times before
Get a foreign girl then
Thank you for being humble enough to own your own imperfections. We all have to learn how to be a great spouse and we all make mistakes. You are on your way to healing because you aren't on here blaming women (who turned out bad too), for your choices.
I see this channel bring out so much hatred with men against women, without these same men owning their own part in the bad relationship.
Thank you again for being mature & responsible....I appreciate this attitude.
This made my heart break, because for most of the time... It may never happen. I just hope this man will find hope, and I pray that one day he will. I pray not just for myself, but for him and for us all.
There are many men like him, and are the ones that are ignored because of appearance, lack of status, or ?? We are the ones that would love to look in a womans eyes and tell her she is what we thought of all day.
This is exactly me after losing everything and becoming homeless after investing all my money, time, and love into my last ex who hid his abusive alcoholic behavior until I moved in with him.
What gives me hope:
1. Overcoming the fear of it happening again and being wiser (but avoiding paranoia that only seeks out red flags)
2. Taking accountability for my choices that allowed me to stay in such a toxic relationship and cope in unhealthy ways
3. Also being determined to not be a statistic
4. Regaining trust in not only other people but myself that I've gone through what I've gone through and there's a reason the rear-view mirror is smaller than the windshield: to keep looking forward!
Most of us (especially us "red-pilled" men and women) really are better together than we are apart, so I hope for blessings on those of us who desire a faithful committed relationship. 💛
Very true...
Nice sentiment; I appreciate that Sean
Outside my grandparents' generation I don't see many marriages still in the game to be able to last till the end. Sooner or later they all broke apart.
That is how I feel too...he was right on the 💰 money hallelujah Bro for speaking the truth
Do you know that we can also pick ourselves up? I once thought I was broken. Just another statistic of society. I met someone who was also looking to become another statistic of society in a different way. Believe it of not, we helped fix each other and built our lives around each other over 21 years. My second marriage, his first. He stated he would never get married. And I am so proud of us because that never get married from us both lead to 21 years of a very happy marriage. Even in the worst of times. It's better having someone by your side in the bad times more so than in the good times. Believe me, that shows just how strong your love is.
This is so beautiful! ♥
"All I want is a house and a wife...cuz as a kid I never had shit" rittz
Don't actually wish for that. You want a good woman that will treat you right . Don't go spending alot of money on any right away. No extravagant dinners the first few dates. I didn't realize how many gold diggers are out there . Just reading comments woke me up. Sad.
He'd better be able to afford it and not have them live in poverty
@@wyleecoyotee4252 so if you live in poverty you can’t have kids and a wife?
Sometimes poverty is all we can achieve is poverty the ultimate denier of having everything else that society has
@@steelisthemeal
If you want a stay-at-home wife you shouldn't. Do you want your kids to live in poverty and be disadvantaged?
@@wyleecoyotee4252 The poor had the most babies this year. Statistics. Facts.
100% agree, and a lot of us men are scared of the failing eachother as we have pinned blame on ourselves for some and have been horrifically failed in the past.
Agreed 💯 w.his statement. id love to be his person!! Men like this don't seem to be in my area though 🤣 and im too terrified to put myself out there
Unfortunately this fear runs so deep that it even affects men who haven’t even dealt with a bad relationship. My boyfriend and I started dating at 15, we‘re each other’s first partner. I once asked him when he saw us getting married if we made it to that stage. He said he wanted to wait to late 20s/early 30s and when I asked him for his reasoning his immediate response was that he wanted to make sure that I truly was the good person he believed me to be. He’s never had another girlfriend and yet he’s so afraid that he’ll wind up like so many others that he would rather date me for around 15 years than take a chance and honestly, I can’t blame him.
@@taumag5884 I’ve actually proposed ideas like that but he’s not really on board. I’ve offered to sign pre nups, told him to not buy me expensive things, offered to work and pay for all of my own things up until we have children, and then start a business from home so I can take care of them while also still bringing in money. He’s really hesitant about it though because he really wants a traditional marriage. He loves buying me stuff, he wants me at home and not working, and he really wants to be able to say that he’s married under the law because he knows that if it’s not a legally binding marriage that most people would see him as someone afraid of committing. And while I’m super grateful that he wants to give me such an amazing life I’m definitely worried because he gets no real benefit from it. It’s only stressing him out trying to make sure I won’t leave him.
@@taumag5884 yeah he definitely has a bad fear of public judgement, and I would love to help him overcome it, but because of the difference in how men and women view stuff whenever he does open up a bit I never understand it the way he means, and so he says he would rather just talk about his problems with his male friends. All of them live in different states and so I’ve never met any of them, but I’d love to just be able to talk to one of them and ask if they could help him out. He definitely needs some support because right now he’s trying to take on more than he should, and he isn’t even 20 yet. As someone that used to be a really bad people pleaser I really don’t want him to get to the point that I did. It’s very emotionally exhausting trying to make everyone happy and still not believing that you’ve done enough.
That was my dream. I pray that you get what your heart desires. Much success for your future.
real men don't fear death, we fear faliure.
That's so true every time most men loose out .he's absolutely bang on with that statement 👏
Serious guts here to say this. Saying a prayer for you today my friend 😢
Yes my brother I fell your pain, is on everyone’s of us. Keep up the good work be honest with our self is not a crime.
He spoke for most men who have stability, respect, and peace.
Wow. Spot on here. I am slowly falling in love with this woman. She has consistently showed and demonstrated what many men are feeling.
This guy is a sweetheart ❤ I know there are more good men out there like him and It’s a struggle dating. I wish I could tell this guy There ARE women that are not cheating Golddiggers
I agree. He's too young for me. Lol
Saddest part , by the time you find a good one everything you worked for all that is gone distroyed by the ones that abuse you and leave you alone and broken
That's sad. . A good women is not about material things.
@@donnalawrence8593 And a good man isn't about status.
My Man, you is 100% right. You dont be alone. Um Brazilian
I was married and that marriage make me never want to married again not even for billions $$
Because of his hard work and sacrifices he has accomplished so much already and a poor decision with a wife could be life changing. A lot variables that are out of his control could affect everything. The responsibility of someone depending on you to provide and protect, Is not something to be taken lightly.
He climbed the mountain and chickypoo can divorce him, take his HOUSE and kids and fuk his life. He’s literally WORRYING about something that hasn’t even happened. Hell, he’s not even married yet. I feel you brother
Men naturally evaluate risks before decisions. Because we are always the ones who have to accept responsibility. The risk calculus on marriage is WAY off the charts today, and is totally unacceptable to any reasonable, intelligent man. Marriage is not worth the cost when the woman pulls the pin on the divorce grenade. And she doesn't even need a valid reason today with no-fault divorce.
i admire a man with
this kind commitment!
may God bless you !
have a happy life with a
woman you 'll grew old
together!!
This dude ABSOLUTELY nailed it 100%
Thought I had this then became a static and almost lost all I worked so hard for.
That's sucks that many women are takers. I never realized how aweful it is for men until reading comments. It's depressing . No wonder I don't get along well with many women or I just don't hang out with too many . They use their female friends too.
So many men in your position, Loren. Younger men like myself that haven't married yet listen to horror stories like yours and have decided to not get married.
No way I spend almost two decades of my life trying to make something of myself only to get reset. If I fail her, I get reset. If she fails me, I get reset. In both scenarios, she ejects with a cash prize.
Not gonna be me!
@@donnalawrence8593 in the end we leave earth with nothing especially if ya been a user & taker all ya life
Same here.
This was so heartfelt, so poignant. Really touches my ❤. I hope he meets the right woman someday.
He won't, because women are not raised to be good wives anymore, they are encouraged to make poor choices in life, live for the moment, act on a whim, follow the impulsiveness that is so common in them.
They are not taught to persistently stay and work things out, make life better by working together as a team, and to not give up when they think someone better shows a little interest.
Its NOT the men who are causing this, men lose everything in a divorce and are indentured to the ex for a decade or more. Sure there are a few men who have lots of girls on rotation, who are banging everything around them like a screen door in a tornado. That is not most men, that is the top 10% of men, who have money, looks, height, and can just sit back and let girls throw panties at them.
Most men are like this guy in the video, doing well for himself, but not well enough to keep someone happy who thinks she deserves a billionaire with two helicopters and his own personal island. That is not too far off what most girls think they deserve, at least that is how they act.
Unless he goes to South America or South East Asia, stays there with her and immerses himself in their culture, he has an 80% chance of losing everything he has worked for. The divorce rate is currently dropping, but its because nobody is getting married. Six dolts out of a thousand are willing to take the inordinate risk with nearly zero benefit to him.
So no, we are not afraid of commitment, we are not intimidated by girls either, but we are not going to write that check and risk our futures on someone who has every incentive to use the state to take it all from us.
Young men like him saw what happened to me and my generation, the smart ones want no part of it.
So it falls to the ladies to fix the laws, themselves, and society rather than continually blaming all of us because we don't want to put our head on the chopping block of family court.
Preach!
The more you have, the more you have to lose. Love takes courage. Every success just increases the danger of loss.
I'm afraid of the different pains. I was married for 19 years, the hardest years of my life. the worst abuse is not physical!
Real talk. I am still figuring out myself so I am emotionally unavailable at the moment but this is how I've felt about my relationships.
Don't use phrases like "emotionally unavailable". That's their language. Not yours and not mine.
Working on yourself just means you know you need to improve so you can be the best version of yourself. It doesn't mean you are unavailable. It means you are not playing the game they want you to be playing.
@@JACCO20082012 Great observation my friend. Thank you.
OMFG! He nailed it. Wow! Women need to have the same mind set. I hope that he finds the right woman.
Facing your fears takes courage. Facing a long term relationship requires trust in your partner, and yourself. Not that mistakes wont be made, but that you'll have the courage to get through it. You've already demonstrated you have what it takes if you can be this forthright.
Aww you see her getting actually touched in this one 🥺🥰
That’s where I’m at too. Didn’t get married, thank god. But now, my daughter doesn’t get a normal united family. Probably just gunna stay single. Don’t want to sacrifice more than I already have. The system isn’t built for men to feel safe welcoming a new woman in their lives.
There isn't such a thing as a normal united family. Every family has skeletons in their closet. Some families are ready happy and loving to each other. This should be normal , but it doesn't fit the norm. Many family are split up and many families would be better off if they were especially in abusive relationships. Being a good father is important.
I know she’s mentioned the overwhelming number of proposals she gets in her DM’s, but based on her reaction she just might decide to slip into someone else’s DM’s for a change. 🤣🤣🤣
Bro you made me cry, from truth!
That fear is real because the consequences of failure are a million times more devastating in this day and age compared to even 10 years ago let alone 20. I know because I have lived it. Its a miracle that I am even alive. The fear of failure is real because it can become a permanent thing.
It's a scary feeling to think that no matter how hard you've tried to become the man that you need to be in order to provide for the family that you've waited for that you'll never be able to provide for them. Or be able to keep your soulmate from choosing someone who appears to be a better provider for her children than you.
Bro, I got you over here!!! Yep, I’ll be a “pick me,” for this dude 😅❤
Plenty of women want to marry. 75% of those also want a divorce. The contract of marriage is the only contract where one person doesn't have to fulfill their part of agreement and still takes half the profits. It's a bad deal for men. Women file for divorce 75% of the times of all divorces. Basically no pressure for women if it doesn't work out they just cash out.
@@taumag5884 most of my guy friends are either married, gay, or they are my clients and I don’t date clients for professional reasons. I work so much running a small business (just me cutting hair in a suite), I literally have no time to date 🙁 I tried the online thing, and I used both Match and Bumble, and even though I put looking for a relationship, the only people I got were people looking to hit it and quit it or they were older than my mom and dad. I was stupid and dated 2 men for the majority of my 20s to the age of 32. I’m now 34 and the only guys interested are like I said, either dudes just wanting something casual or guys older than my parents. I guess it’s a “me,” thing. I work hard, take care of myself physically, mentally, spiritually and financially, volunteer in my community and I’m not a super model but I also don’t look like a dog. I’ve been described as “very pretty,” but still cannot find that connection. I feel terrible for guys bc all of this video is true and then some, but once you’re a woman in your mid thirties, the interest just doesn’t seem to be there from men my age. I’ve been told I’m “passed my prime,” bc apparently that is somewhere between 18 and 25 (said by multiple men’s podcasts, not me) but I can’t help that the guy I was dating at that time passed away.
@@jeremyd8778 welp, I have my own business, car and home so I really could care less about the material assets a man brings to the table. I want loyalty and a genuine connection. I agree with you, but I’ve never been married and I am not in that 75% of women 🤷♀️
@@taumag5884 thank you so very much. That meant more than you could ever know ❤️
@@taumag5884 it would be sweet if I could find one my age 😂❤️ I really do appreciate you. I hope you have love and peace in your life 🤙
Yeah. I can relate to that since his feeling about that matter is exactly the same as mine.
There are no guarantees. After three serious relationship fails I found the woman of my dreams. 12 years, the best of my life. She passed away one day from a blood clot. Life works in mysterious ways. The best we can do is keep moving forward. Take a chance without it you have no chance.
This is exactly me after losing everything and becoming homeless after investing all my money, time, and love into my last ex who hid his abusive alcoholic behavior until I moved in with him.
What gives me hope:
1. Overcoming the fear of it happening again and being wiser (but avoiding paranoia that only seeks out red flags)
2. Taking accountability for my choices that allowed me to stay in such a toxic relationship and cope in unhealthy ways
3. Also being determined to not be a statistic
4. Regaining trust in not only other people but myself that I've gone through what I've gone through and there's a reason the rear-view mirror is smaller than the windshield: to keep looking forward!
Most of us (especially us "red-pilled" men and women) really are better together than we are apart, so I hope for blessings on those of us who desire a faithful committed relationship. 💛
Most men reveal their underlying issues after you've fully committed to them.
Irritating when men tell women they should have chosen better. Frankly sometimes the best choice is a cat.
My last bf was redpilled. Never again being with a redpilled guy, not interested in being dominated and subjugated.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 My friends keep saying they rather have a cat.
Huge fist bump and a beer on me for that guy in the video. Cheers from a Swedish Expat living in Bucharest, Romania. 👍👍🍺🍺👊👊🇸🇪💪🇸🇪🇹🇩👏👏
Wow- i felt this to my core. i gotta buy this man a beer- amen and cheers to that!
Wow I’m a guy tearing up and it’s exactly how I feel. I wish women can until that we all want love. Just to show love and to express it without being judged
That's some truth brother. I feel the same way.