@@maryjanerx if that were the case I would be single right now instead of married. I’ve never been approached by any man in my entire life. The only man I’ve ever been in a relationship with is the one I gave my number to 🤷♀️ I’m apparently ugly to every man on this planet except my husband because I kid you not, no man on Earth has ever shown interest in me unless I’ve shown it first. 💁♀️
Why would you even give your number when you’re behind a mask lmfao?? “Maskfishing” is an actual thing because 2/3 of your face is covered. I would rather he not verbalize it.
Or your friends know YOU are the one addicted to drama and the only thing that will make you learn is to let it keep getting worse and worse for you to figure it out.
Once a man shows you his true Color, believe him. First time, cut the cord off. After his neighbour came to me and told me of there escapades, I called off the wedding and took the money for the wedding. Staying in a toxic relationship is a deterrent to your growth. Now I’m happily married to my best friend. My mom did not suffer for nine months for me to suffer in silence. God forbid.
"I'm ugly".....girl where? Beautiful skin, beautiful teeth, beautiful features. You're so pretty. Don't let a dude with bad taste tell u otherwise. But um no, keep going back absolutely not. Why keep taking abuse?
That's reckless and illogical advice. If you left - it's for a reason. "Going back' will get you in a S.A./D.V. situation or get you un-alived. Leave the first time and STAY AWAY FOREVER.
Yep, they view it as tho u are ok w their poor behavior and then amp up their tactics or are more sneaky/covert about it, making u the think you're the problem. U become conditioned to keep going back, thinking it could be worse or getting confused abt the bread crumbs and false promises they make to keep u coming back. Im currently separated for 2.5yrs w my husband .... I keep going back bc I believe his lies and think maybe now things will be better and he will keep his word... But nope. It's impossible to break this cycle once it starts.
@@summersalix It's not impossible to break the cycle. Just understand that when he opens his mouth he's lying. You know that so you must like the lies he tells. You need to take accountability for your own behavior for the situations YOU put YOURSELF in when you have full information. Re-parent yourself if you have to.
@@silververnallbells191 that's a bit harsh. I should have phrased it "it feels impossible" And no, idk when he's lying and when he's telling the truth. It's not always easy to get out of a marriage.
If you have standards, boundaries, high expectations, morals, values, and principles you will not “keep going back until you can’t anymore.” Females who are disassociated, on autopilot, male-centred types, who don’t know themselves or like themselves, circle back.
The woman at 7:46: Spot on, every word. Find a man who knows you're his dream girl from the start and is afraid of ever losing you, not the one who leaves and comes back sniffing around because he's bored or wants access to you again. A good man who finds his dream girl has no further need or desire for female "friendships" (platonic or otherwise) and won't jeopardize his relationship with his #1.
Anyone who actually deserved a second chance would never do anything to ever make you need to give them a second chance. Then the crush lady-don’t be giving men your number unasked. That’s asking to be abused.
No, don't lie to yourself. You're not going back because you want to exhaust the number of "going backs", you're going back because you believe that one day it might just get better. And the moment you realise it won't get better is usually the moment you become a bitter person.
I personally believe in leaving. But that "go back until you can't anymore" is some great reverse psychology for women who refuse to hear they should end it. 🤷🏾♀️ Another one I heard is "only you know when you've had enough"
I am sorry. She sounds like a fool. No ma’am, I won’t go back. Like you say, I love me too much. I let someone come back to me, and when I tell you he DOGGED me out like a junk yard Dog.
She had to give him the number smh. He didn’t like her.. stop approaching men. It’s true that they could still do things like this when they approach you, but still. Let them be the men
WHEN A WOMAN HAS A LOT OF SELF ESTEEM, SHE SETS BOUNDARIES FOR HERSELF AND WHEN A MAN CROSSES THEM, SHE HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE BY BREAKING ALL TIES AND LETTING HIM GON ON ABOUT HIS BUSINESS......BUT BECUZ TOO MANY WOMEN ARE CONDITIONED TO BELEIVE MEN ARE ENTITLED AND ABOVE REPROACH, THEY EMPOWER THOSE ACTIONS IN THOSE MEN TOWARDS THEM AND THEY GO BACK AND FORWARDS LIKE CHRIS AND BLUEFACE FOR YEARS!!!
I have a male coworker I’ve worked in the same industry with for over a decade . He is my friend and friends with 3 other women who all worked together at the same time, we were all recently invited to his baby shower. We went, we all chatted with him briefly and had a good time. We ARE NOT CLOSE FRIENDS. We are close as far as professional loyalty and support but we don’t hang out unless someone has a family style or “bring ur spouse” type gathering, we don’t talk about ANYTHING other than work, professional development or finance…and it never needs to change.
Funny how people will pray and ask God to deliver them from these Toxic relationships, but turn around and go back to what they were delivered from...only to find out nothing has changed and the person is still toxic. Self love is so important.
I agree that the advice of go back until you can't go back is potentially dangerous and I personally would never do that nor tell a friend that but I understand why you can develop that view regarding a friend that just won't leave a shitty relationship. I would never advise a friend that but I know in the past I have gotten to the point of being over friends constantly telling me the horrible things their boyfriends do to them but they still stick around. So in order to preserve my energy I take a mental approach of "when she's had enough, she'll leave", which helps me not emotionally invest in a situation that is unlikely to change soon. Again, I don't vocalise it, it's just a mental framework I use.
Well it really depends on how dangerous the ex was if he's so dangerous that if you went back to him he might beat up or kill you then don't go back there ever again change jobs or leave town if he is that dangerous. But if you have to go back to get some of your stuff and he is not dangerous then go back and get your stuff but don't stay the night. Just make sure your calm when this happens and they will usually let you in to get your stuff. If he starts getting aggressive about trying to contact you to hang out then you might have to file a restraining order because you don't belong to them. The reason I might go back and confront the ex is because I'm not scared to get beat up because I already know my ex isn't a very good fighter anyways. He got punched in the face a few weeks ago and somebody took his stuff and every time he would fight me he wasn't able to punch me because i knew how to fight back and block his punches. Ever sense then he's been nicer to me because he knows I'm not going to put up with his crap. Some of the local bums and thugs in the area probably heard him screaming at me at night so they probably snapped on him because he wouldn't shut up. They don't own the property either if he won't let you get your stuff then call the landlord and see if you can bring someone with you to collect it. Some people don't understand the ex is not always going back to try and rekindle things sometimes they're going back to collect their property. These women that keep going back just to hang out and try to make things work are crazy to me because most women with common sense would not go back just to hang out if they already had everything they needed. Some people don't understand that leaving an ex is a process too it's not the same thing as dumping a boy when you're in high school or college because you wind up in debt over it and the landlord and case managers will keep hassling you to help pay for these guys. So if they're just going back to hang out and they don't really have to go over there then there probably still hung up on the guy. Being put into debt over some guy that doesn't want to pay his rent can mentally drain you and cause you to lose empathy for humans.
You deserve so much more recognition. Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth and share it with the world, knowing that it will make many people angry. When I was a young girl I was so desperate to have a relationship, I didn’t love myself. As an adult I’m finally secure and satisfied with my life, regardless of whether or not there’s a man in it. Thank you for teaching women not to settle. We give our all while they give nothing. I will only be romantically involved with a man who makes my life better, makes me feel safe and happy all the time. I will NEVER settle again and I’m happy to see more and more women doing the same. We build our own futures, and we don’t need anyone else to make us feel fulfilled.
Huh? They lost me with this one. We dont go back , you obviously left for a reason ? Also the point is to learn from past relationships and move FORWARD!!!
Every time you feel sad for your dating life remember there are women being harrased by their exs that break restraining orders while she is afraid for their life and the close ones around her. Speaking for a friend...
While I understand the challenge of letting go of something you so desperately wanted that you thought you had. The pain of losing that person multiple times will always be worse than the pain of losing them once. It's like a scab that you just refuse to let time heal. Imagine wasting all that time on someone who has told you once they don't want you. My main issue with that advice is that it refuses to add the fact that the time lost on "going back" is never regained. Going back wears you down mentally, physically, and emotionally. By the time you realize you don't want to go back, you might have lost the best years of your life to this person, for what?! I've been there before and all I ever wanted was to not go back, and I was glad when I moved on.
The situation with having platonic friends of the opposite sex. I do believe that it is possible before him to be hanging out on a consistent basis with these friends, No. I've had platonic male friends that were in relationships with other women but the one thing that I did was respect that relationship and if we hung out we hung out as a group where everyone was around. But no, I did not hang out with him at that point when he was in a relationship or he was married. We might talk to each other occasionally just to check in and see how each other's doing, but other than that, no. And I made it known that I don't talk about relationships with my platonic male friends. That subject is off the counter. I mean if we're talking about it in general that's one thing but for them to tell me what's personally going on in there life as far as their relationship no, because I believe that is a violation of the commitment that you made to your significant other. But that's because that's the type of woman and character I am and it's not a lot of women out there that would set those standards and respect the relationships of their male friends. And let's be honest, if a man wants to cheat, he's going to cheat.
I don't think that's what they mean. Most women that are dealing with abuse usually don't leave. There are so many times I had to tell a female to run 🏃🏾♀️. And a lady I met did leave and her husband still unalived her. There's no right way.... Some women leave and go back and forth.... Knowing he don't really care or love her, cheat and lie... She's saying when your fed up being fed up then you know you have successfully detached yourself from the toxicity
I’m so sorry I’m not that friend, I tell you not in a hurtful way but I will let you know , please stop this it’s hurting urself. If she continues to let this man do nonsense, I don’t want to hear it , I already advised you. You not gonna be in my ear crying , I protect my peace , and if this is the only way we can be friends then I’m so sorry we might have to part ways. And honestly, if you don’t have respect for yourself I can’t do it. These men out here dangerous, you’re not gonna put in no situations.
Two of my closest friend is male. He in fact has been my roomate for over ten years. I've known him for over twenty five years and have NEVER slept with him. It's nice to have his perspective on an issue vs the one my female friends have. His current girlfriend is really nice and comes over to hang out. I will say that I hope that he moves out soon because as much as I love his crazy ass, I'm ready to walk around nekit in my own house. It's been far too damn long!
I think it applies to those who can’t get over their ex, but want to move on. So the best method would be to keep going back until you get bored of them.
But some of the women don't make it back to return back. I mean, you can find on this platform alone. How many women have been toe tagged by their ex Boyfriends that just will not let the relationship go.
Only a stupid person would keep going back to the same thing you left that wasn't good why would you think it will be better the next time for God sakes people know when to move on have more respect and love for yourself to want better ain't your grandma told you that?
Keep going back just to exhaust all your youth, energy, time, focus, drive, optimism on relationships etc on someone who doesn't value you??? No thanks. And of course they're not going to treat you right because they don't respect you. Hell YOU don't even respect YOU 😂 you're blocking your blessings when you keep going back to ppl and repeating the same cycle. It causes constant disappointments lowers your standards/ vibration more and more each time. You may want the world with a certain person, but that doesn't mean they're capable of providing that. And maybe just maybe they don't view you as someone worth having the world with. Either way cut your losses. Time goes by fast and you don't want to waste it on a hope and prayer that "this time" it'll work out with (insert name here) ❤
It may be best to leave a relationship when things have gone wrong once so going back for more disappointment is not good advice especially if you have self worth which should be a given.
We go back because we haven’t built our self esteem worth value love and respect for ourselves up to be able to leave and not look back by knowing we deserve more. Until then we keep going back hoping it’ll be better until we finally get tired of the lying to ourselves and looking stupid that’s when we get the balls to leave for good
This advice isn't for me. I can't do this, its not in my soul. Once I see you dont value me and it may take me a while, but once it sinks in you're dead to me. We never met
The girl who said to go back is not really bad advice. It has been said that it takes a woman about 7 times before she can leave an abusive man. Sometimes women complain about men to their friends about the same issue for months and years. People get tired of the same story. So she meant "You know you're not leaving that man".
Your coral colored eyeshadow and lips are very nicely done. You’re beautiful ❤. This is coming from an old retired white nurse, not some crazy man who is trying to manipulate you. I do like your look without the big black eyelashes because they distract from your beauty making your eyes look too far apart maybe because they are very thick on the ends. I think you would look the most beautiful with more natural looking false lashes, or just curl them and use a good black mascara. This is just my opinion and you do you anyway you feel looks the best. I hope you find a wonderful man who loves you and values you for more than just your looks. 😊
First no don’t go back. You only feel the need to go back because you two shared energy for a long time. It’ll take some time to sever that bond. It’s like that with any close bonds; the memories you have together are precious and it makes you feel nostalgic. Don’t be fooled. It’s just because you’re stuck in the happy memories and are afraid of being with someone new or not ever finding someone else. With that said, I used to keep going back after getting my heart broken. I learned so much afterwards and will never regret being a pick me. The knowledge I obtained is more important than some old flame. However I can tell you that if you get rid of your old memories with your own partner and learn what you won’t tolerate from your new guy then you’ll be so much happier. Cherish the good memories but don’t cling onto the past.
It is dangerous advice because it also allows the victim to feel like "I shouldn't say anything since I am not really leaving." However, it is understandable why her friend may come up with that idea in that it takes many victims many tries to actually leave.
If you aren't interested in learning from your mistakes or leaving a bad situation or changing from something that has proven over and over to not benefit you, you want to burden others with your foolishness.... Nah... Emotional dumping is a no no... Suffer in silence till your ready 5o move on then ask for support... It's mentally drawing to others when you keep going back to a bad situation over and over
That does not work as "advice", it's more of a truth about the kind of people that stick around in bad relationships. Basically, you can tell them the other person is no good until you're blue in the face, but until they're really DONE, they won't end it. That's a sad reality, not "advice" and it's reckless to view it that way 🤨
The behavior of the first chick is disturbing. That is teenager sh*t and she needs to pull back from pursuing men for a while. She's not ugly but she has "model looks" if that makes sense. Also take into account how you look to different races. Apparently, since I've dated non-black men, my looks are appealing across different races( medium-sized nose, smaller lips, almond-shaped eyes, somewhat high cheekbones,etc). So she needs to not take it personally.We live in a highly visual world where even the most iconic, beautiful women have dealt with some sort of self-doubt. I wish her a happy dating life going forward and hopefully, she can understand attraction has a lot of components to it( where the guy is on the social/sexual dating market, his financial status, the circles he runs in,etc) and to keep it moving unless she likes someone that likes her back.
I think it's kinda natural to go back a couple times. The third time was the charm. And by then it was easy to walk away and stay away. Because by then u know that u really tried and it'll never work. Fyi, this was a situation where there was no DV. If there's DV, leave the first time it happens and don't look back.
It's the truth, I fought for a friend but she went back toll he killed her abd her baby. My sister did the same, but she left and it was a once and done situation. That friend of hers is not the kind of woman you like or puty, thete was a reason she chose that guy against all advice.
0:28 no for real just the title gave me such a hard PTSD type of flashback I’m pretty sure my therapist would agree. I probably do definitely yes have PTSD because the anxiety the stress, the flashbacks the feeling of nausea. 😅😅😅 I don’t know how I broke out of that solution took me three years 🥹😭😭😭😭 But it worked … I definitely cannot stand that mofo…. I went back until they were no more feeling like there was nothing in my soul nothing like oh my lord I should’ve kicked him in the shin before I left 🤣
1:02 oh, I definitely don’t recommend it. It is not for the smart and logical. When you’re dealing with like an actual sociopaths, those who will manipulate, you use your family, their family, and anybody else, including the dog against you and her nephew 😅 It is it was it was bad I feel bad about it but then also I was young and I didn’t know any better. Life was it it was everything was just such a shit show. 🤣 Granny told me to go to hell I had to laugh at her face cause I’m like I’m already there babes Looking back at it now I feel like I had ended up going back because I was scared But I wanna left for good I was angry that’s what I needed. I needed to be angry. It took me three years to get angry …. And now I have the quickest temperature ever had in my life I don’t know I feel like it’s like a defense mechanism that’s left over from that 😅
1:30 she is beautiful, idk how it was due to her looks bc didn't he already know what she looks like? Disagree with the one talking about having female friends, I have a good male friend, and I would not be ok with a partner expecting me to end the friendship just bc they can't trust me?? And what if your partner is gay or bi??
I think this is very poor advice, but I kind of understand where the friend was coming from because there are some people in life that you can give advice to and tell them that this relationship is toxic. But as long as they still have feelings for that person, they're still going to pine over that person. They're still going to wonder if things could have gotten better and all that kind of jazz and so the friend was saying go back to you. Can't take it anymore. In other words, get that person out of your system because once you realize their true character and how it doesn't match yours. Once you realize the reality of the person versus the fantasy that you created around them, then you can leave and not go back. But to me this is not a behavior. That should be encouraged. It's just how some people are. Some people have to learn from experience and some people learn from the experiences of others and some people learn just from being told about somebody's experience. It all depends on the type of friend you have. How you deal with the situation. Unfortunately, there are some of your friends that you're just going to have to watch go through the cycle because they have not completed their learning process. In that relationship they're not ready to let go. So there is nothing that you can do except be a supportive person until they finally realize that this ain't the way to go.
5:45 so how do females feel about guys that communicate they’re not interested in platonic relationships because they’re interested in a romantic relationship? I’ve gotten the impression that it shows a “Lack of Maturity”. lol
@@AlwonDomz If you like someone romantically you should let that be known so you don’t continue to develop stronger feelings by hanging out with them as friends. If they don’t like you back that’s fine just move on if you aren’t interested in a friendship. Honesty is the best policy always.
@@thrill102 Does it take time or effort to know what you like about someone? How would you go about that so you don’t love bomb early or be non chalant?
@@AlwonDomz Anything you do takes time and effort even friendships. Honestly I’m sure there’s good people out here trying to give good advice but the best thing you can do for yourself is go to therapy to really figure yourself out. Find a therapist you feel comfortable talking to and you’ll be surprised how much you will learns about yourself.
I don't get that perspective. I mastered the 'walk the eff away once you're annoyed enough' mindset years ago. I might give you a couple of chances if what you did was not that bad but I'm losing more and more interest after every chance so it's never really the same again. When I really feel insulted, I don't care about apologies or anything. I just leave and move on with my life.
Leave the first time... Not bad enough.... Not a single abuse story starts with the guy punching the girl... It's starts small... The first time you are violated even if it's forgetting to pick you up... Leave... Waiting around and going back is pathetic tbh, they lose respect for you
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People only leave the table when they are tired of what’s being served.
Nah, some people leave the second they get a whiff of what’s being served. It just depends on the person
My heart breaks for the girl whose crush stopped texting her. She's not ugly. Not even a little.
Thats why you never give a guy your number! If he wanted to, he would
Yeah, that guy was a real douchebag 🙄.
@@maryjanerx if that were the case I would be single right now instead of married. I’ve never been approached by any man in my entire life. The only man I’ve ever been in a relationship with is the one I gave my number to 🤷♀️ I’m apparently ugly to every man on this planet except my husband because I kid you not, no man on Earth has ever shown interest in me unless I’ve shown it first. 💁♀️
The guy laughing after she gave him her number was a sign.
Why would you even give your number when you’re behind a mask lmfao?? “Maskfishing” is an actual thing because 2/3 of your face is covered. I would rather he not verbalize it.
This is the kind of “advice” you get from friends addicted to drama!
Yeah, I agree. 😅 😂
Or your friends know YOU are the one addicted to drama and the only thing that will make you learn is to let it keep getting worse and worse for you to figure it out.
But u cant force ur friend to take ur advice... At some point let them learn the hard way
@@copperreddbut you should STILL tell them at least once.
@@ggundercover3681 yeah. For sure... U should tell them. But if they wont listen, leave them to their own devices ...
Once a man shows you his true Color, believe him. First time, cut the cord off. After his neighbour came to me and told me of there escapades, I called off the wedding and took the money for the wedding. Staying in a toxic relationship is a deterrent to your growth. Now I’m happily married to my best friend. My mom did not suffer for nine months for me to suffer in silence. God forbid.
"I'm ugly".....girl where? Beautiful skin, beautiful teeth, beautiful features. You're so pretty. Don't let a dude with bad taste tell u otherwise.
But um no, keep going back absolutely not. Why keep taking abuse?
Limerence has the girlies in a chokehold. It's extremely unfortunate for the women experiencing it in their relationships.
Stay busy ladies.
That’s it. That’s all.
That's reckless and illogical advice. If you left - it's for a reason. "Going back' will get you in a S.A./D.V. situation or get you un-alived. Leave the first time and STAY AWAY FOREVER.
I agree 💯
Yep, they view it as tho u are ok w their poor behavior and then amp up their tactics or are more sneaky/covert about it, making u the think you're the problem. U become conditioned to keep going back, thinking it could be worse or getting confused abt the bread crumbs and false promises they make to keep u coming back.
Im currently separated for 2.5yrs w my husband .... I keep going back bc I believe his lies and think maybe now things will be better and he will keep his word...
But nope.
It's impossible to break this cycle once it starts.
It also gives them the upper hand, skewing the balance of power and control
@@summersalix It's not impossible to break the cycle. Just understand that when he opens his mouth he's lying. You know that so you must like the lies he tells. You need to take accountability for your own behavior for the situations YOU put YOURSELF in when you have full information. Re-parent yourself if you have to.
@@silververnallbells191 that's a bit harsh. I should have phrased it "it feels impossible"
And no, idk when he's lying and when he's telling the truth. It's not always easy to get out of a marriage.
If you have standards, boundaries, high expectations, morals, values, and principles you will not “keep going back until you can’t anymore.” Females who are disassociated, on autopilot, male-centred types, who don’t know themselves or like themselves, circle back.
The woman at 7:46: Spot on, every word. Find a man who knows you're his dream girl from the start and is afraid of ever losing you, not the one who leaves and comes back sniffing around because he's bored or wants access to you again. A good man who finds his dream girl has no further need or desire for female "friendships" (platonic or otherwise) and won't jeopardize his relationship with his #1.
Anyone who actually deserved a second chance would never do anything to ever make you need to give them a second chance. Then the crush lady-don’t be giving men your number unasked. That’s asking to be abused.
🎯
No, don't lie to yourself. You're not going back because you want to exhaust the number of "going backs", you're going back because you believe that one day it might just get better.
And the moment you realise it won't get better is usually the moment you become a bitter person.
A "bitter" person or a **better** person?
@@marissa._ Bitter. Taking crap doesn't make you a better person.
I personally believe in leaving. But that "go back until you can't anymore" is some great reverse psychology for women who refuse to hear they should end it. 🤷🏾♀️ Another one I heard is "only you know when you've had enough"
I am sorry. She sounds like a fool. No ma’am, I won’t go back. Like you say, I love me too much. I let someone come back to me, and when I tell you he DOGGED me out like a junk yard Dog.
It ended the first time for A REASON. Never go back. Don’t put your life at risk…
She had to give him the number smh. He didn’t like her.. stop approaching men. It’s true that they could still do things like this when they approach you, but still. Let them be the men
Right! If he wanted to, he would
WHEN A WOMAN HAS A LOT OF SELF ESTEEM, SHE SETS BOUNDARIES FOR HERSELF AND WHEN A MAN CROSSES THEM, SHE HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE BY BREAKING ALL TIES AND LETTING HIM GON ON ABOUT HIS BUSINESS......BUT BECUZ TOO MANY WOMEN ARE CONDITIONED TO BELEIVE MEN ARE ENTITLED AND ABOVE REPROACH, THEY EMPOWER THOSE ACTIONS IN THOSE MEN TOWARDS THEM AND THEY GO BACK AND FORWARDS LIKE CHRIS AND BLUEFACE FOR YEARS!!!
I have a male coworker I’ve worked in the same industry with for over a decade . He is my friend and friends with 3 other women who all worked together at the same time, we were all recently invited to his baby shower. We went, we all chatted with him briefly and had a good time. We ARE NOT CLOSE FRIENDS. We are close as far as professional loyalty and support but we don’t hang out unless someone has a family style or “bring ur spouse” type gathering, we don’t talk about ANYTHING other than work, professional development or finance…and it never needs to change.
Funny how people will pray and ask God to deliver them from these Toxic relationships, but turn around and go back to what they were delivered from...only to find out nothing has changed and the person is still toxic. Self love is so important.
I agree that the advice of go back until you can't go back is potentially dangerous and I personally would never do that nor tell a friend that but I understand why you can develop that view regarding a friend that just won't leave a shitty relationship. I would never advise a friend that but I know in the past I have gotten to the point of being over friends constantly telling me the horrible things their boyfriends do to them but they still stick around. So in order to preserve my energy I take a mental approach of "when she's had enough, she'll leave", which helps me not emotionally invest in a situation that is unlikely to change soon. Again, I don't vocalise it, it's just a mental framework I use.
Well it really depends on how dangerous the ex was if he's so dangerous that if you went back to him he might beat up or kill you then don't go back there ever again change jobs or leave town if he is that dangerous.
But if you have to go back to get some of your stuff and he is not dangerous then go back and get your stuff but don't stay the night.
Just make sure your calm when this happens and they will usually let you in to get your stuff.
If he starts getting aggressive about trying to contact you to hang out then you might have to file a restraining order because you don't belong to them.
The reason I might go back and confront the ex is because I'm not scared to get beat up because I already know my ex isn't a very good fighter anyways.
He got punched in the face a few weeks ago and somebody took his stuff and every time he would fight me he wasn't able to punch me because i knew how to fight back and block his punches.
Ever sense then he's been nicer to me because he knows I'm not going to put up with his crap.
Some of the local bums and thugs in the area probably heard him screaming at me at night so they probably snapped on him because he wouldn't shut up.
They don't own the property either if he won't let you get your stuff then call the landlord and see if you can bring someone with you to collect it.
Some people don't understand the ex is not always going back to try and rekindle things sometimes they're going back to collect their property.
These women that keep going back just to hang out and try to make things work are crazy to me because most women with common sense would not go back just to hang out if they already had everything they needed.
Some people don't understand that leaving an ex is a process too it's not the same thing as dumping a boy when you're in high school or college because you wind up in debt over it and the landlord and case managers will keep hassling you to help pay for these guys.
So if they're just going back to hang out and they don't really have to go over there then there probably still hung up on the guy. Being put into debt over some guy that doesn't want to pay his rent can mentally drain you and cause you to lose empathy for humans.
This
You deserve so much more recognition. Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth and share it with the world, knowing that it will make many people angry. When I was a young girl I was so desperate to have a relationship, I didn’t love myself. As an adult I’m finally secure and satisfied with my life, regardless of whether or not there’s a man in it. Thank you for teaching women not to settle. We give our all while they give nothing. I will only be romantically involved with a man who makes my life better, makes me feel safe and happy all the time. I will NEVER settle again and I’m happy to see more and more women doing the same. We build our own futures, and we don’t need anyone else to make us feel fulfilled.
Huh? They lost me with this one. We dont go back , you obviously left for a reason ? Also the point is to learn from past relationships and move FORWARD!!!
That's what I thought as well.
Yes 💯. It's such horrible advice to give but I'm not surprised, most advice from tiktokers are....
Her point was, u cant force ur friend to take ur advice... So if they r gonna keep going back regardless, let the do it till they get sick of it
Block his number. Change your number if you have to. 😂 we’ve all been here it’s hard but don’t go back.
I’m celebrating 💖GALentine’s💖 with the ✨GWORLZ✨
WOW! I like this new twist on an old classic. Me too! The GWORLZ set up spa time for *Galentine's (Raynebow Patent Pending! Enjoy yours.
I have had 2 male friends that i met as a teenager, both got married, and their wives said they had to stop being friends with me.
:(
Yikes, insecure women
Its respect , i have personally fell off my male friends once they got in relationships .
Every time you feel sad for your dating life remember there are women being harrased by their exs that break restraining orders while she is afraid for their life and the close ones around her. Speaking for a friend...
While I understand the challenge of letting go of something you so desperately wanted that you thought you had. The pain of losing that person multiple times will always be worse than the pain of losing them once. It's like a scab that you just refuse to let time heal. Imagine wasting all that time on someone who has told you once they don't want you. My main issue with that advice is that it refuses to add the fact that the time lost on "going back" is never regained. Going back wears you down mentally, physically, and emotionally. By the time you realize you don't want to go back, you might have lost the best years of your life to this person, for what?! I've been there before and all I ever wanted was to not go back, and I was glad when I moved on.
The situation with having platonic friends of the opposite sex. I do believe that it is possible before him to be hanging out on a consistent basis with these friends, No. I've had platonic male friends that were in relationships with other women but the one thing that I did was respect that relationship and if we hung out we hung out as a group where everyone was around. But no, I did not hang out with him at that point when he was in a relationship or he was married. We might talk to each other occasionally just to check in and see how each other's doing, but other than that, no. And I made it known that I don't talk about relationships with my platonic male friends. That subject is off the counter. I mean if we're talking about it in general that's one thing but for them to tell me what's personally going on in there life as far as their relationship no, because I believe that is a violation of the commitment that you made to your significant other. But that's because that's the type of woman and character I am and it's not a lot of women out there that would set those standards and respect the relationships of their male friends. And let's be honest, if a man wants to cheat, he's going to cheat.
I don't think that's what they mean. Most women that are dealing with abuse usually don't leave. There are so many times I had to tell a female to run 🏃🏾♀️. And a lady I met did leave and her husband still unalived her. There's no right way....
Some women leave and go back and forth.... Knowing he don't really care or love her, cheat and lie... She's saying when your fed up being fed up then you know you have successfully detached yourself from the toxicity
I’m so sorry I’m not that friend, I tell you not in a hurtful way but I will let you know , please stop this it’s hurting urself. If she continues to let this man do nonsense, I don’t want to hear it , I already advised you. You not gonna be in my ear crying , I protect my peace , and if this is the only way we can be friends then I’m so sorry we might have to part ways. And honestly, if you don’t have respect for yourself I can’t do it. These men out here dangerous, you’re not gonna put in no situations.
4:17 she is beautiful 🤦🏾♀️ some men can be brutal
They say it takes an average of 7 times leaving before a DV victim leaves for good. But that doesn’t mean you should have that as the goal.
Two of my closest friend is male. He in fact has been my roomate for over ten years. I've known him for over twenty five years and have NEVER slept with him. It's nice to have his perspective on an issue vs the one my female friends have. His current girlfriend is really nice and comes over to hang out. I will say that I hope that he moves out soon because as much as I love his crazy ass, I'm ready to walk around nekit in my own house. It's been far too damn long!
If you go back you will end up like chrisean rock no offense to her.....I will never no matter how kind he was ...it's a no no....don't go back ladies
Chrisrean rock is an extreme example, that broad is just insane
@@jamrockk BOTH Chrisean & Blueface are toxic.
@@silververnallbells191 I never said blue face wasn’t so what’s your point? That’s not what’s being mentioned by the original commentator
That woman is beautiful tbh but i can see how easy it is to blame yourself at times like that because I’ve done it a lot too.
I think it applies to those who can’t get over their ex, but want to move on. So the best method would be to keep going back until you get bored of them.
Except this is not the “best” method. The actual best method would be to go to therapy to work through the root issue of why you can’t get over them.
@@thrill102 sometimes there’s no other deep explanation other than you aren’t finished with them yet.
But some of the women don't make it back to return back. I mean, you can find on this platform alone. How many women have been toe tagged by their ex Boyfriends that just will not let the relationship go.
You shoot your shot and he declines … it’s life …
Let him approach you !!!!
Only a stupid person would keep going back to the same thing you left that wasn't good why would you think it will be better the next time for God sakes people know when to move on have more respect and love for yourself to want better ain't your grandma told you that?
What does the Bible say? A dog returning to its vomit?😂😂
I gave a guy my number once and he ripped it up and threw it in my face and said “you got Cheeto dust on your face”….I did, we were 12…but damn 🤣😭
I love the “as for me,” 😂 I stg
Keep going back just to exhaust all your youth, energy, time, focus, drive, optimism on relationships etc on someone who doesn't value you??? No thanks. And of course they're not going to treat you right because they don't respect you. Hell YOU don't even respect YOU
😂 you're blocking your blessings when you keep going back to ppl and repeating the same cycle. It causes constant disappointments lowers your standards/ vibration more and more each time. You may want the world with a certain person, but that doesn't mean they're capable of providing that. And maybe just maybe they don't view you as someone worth having the world with.
Either way cut your losses. Time goes by fast and you don't want to waste it on a hope and prayer that "this time" it'll work out with (insert name here) ❤
Hell no, dump him with the FIRST red flag you see.
It may be best to leave a relationship when things have gone wrong once so going back for more disappointment is not good advice especially if you have self worth which should be a given.
Don't go back. You could be unalived. I almost was.
We go back because we haven’t built our self esteem worth value love and respect for ourselves up to be able to leave and not look back by knowing we deserve more. Until then we keep going back hoping it’ll be better until we finally get tired of the lying to ourselves and looking stupid that’s when we get the balls to leave for good
This advice isn't for me. I can't do this, its not in my soul. Once I see you dont value me and it may take me a while, but once it sinks in you're dead to me. We never met
Whatever happened to the rule that an ex is an ex for a reason??
The girl with the crush. Girl you are gorgeous, you are beautful. God was sparing you.
The girl who said to go back is not really bad advice. It has been said that it takes a woman about 7 times before she can leave an abusive man. Sometimes women complain about men to their friends about the same issue for months and years. People get tired of the same story. So she meant "You know you're not leaving that man".
Yeah but a lot of women die before that point, it’s horrid advice.
@@Candiecane908 but if ur friend wont listen, what can u do...they will go back anyway
This poor girl has no idea she looks like a MODEL! Her self-esteem should never be tied to a man choosing her.
Some ppl need to learn the hard way...
Woman don't stop until the crying stops . Every woman has a breaking point !
When u look up... ur eyes go WHIITTEE... haha... love u Priscilla..
Honey this is why - You NEVER - NEVER- NEVER give your number to anyone guy. If you had a different approach you would have gotten your dream crush.
my own relationship advice is dont approach a man ever if you are a female thats not your job
Always charge men for pictures.
Your coral colored eyeshadow and lips are very nicely done. You’re beautiful ❤. This is coming from an old retired white nurse, not some crazy man who is trying to manipulate you. I do like your look without the big black eyelashes because they distract from your beauty making your eyes look too far apart maybe because they are very thick on the ends. I think you would look the most beautiful with more natural looking false lashes, or just curl them and use a good black mascara. This is just my opinion and you do you anyway you feel looks the best. I hope you find a wonderful man who loves you and values you for more than just your looks. 😊
Y’all live hellish lives. Just move on people.
First no don’t go back. You only feel the need to go back because you two shared energy for a long time. It’ll take some time to sever that bond. It’s like that with any close bonds; the memories you have together are precious and it makes you feel nostalgic. Don’t be fooled. It’s just because you’re stuck in the happy memories and are afraid of being with someone new or not ever finding someone else.
With that said, I used to keep going back after getting my heart broken. I learned so much afterwards and will never regret being a pick me. The knowledge I obtained is more important than some old flame. However I can tell you that if you get rid of your old memories with your own partner and learn what you won’t tolerate from your new guy then you’ll be so much happier. Cherish the good memories but don’t cling onto the past.
Hell to the naw...to the naw naw naaaaaaaw!!!
This is what guys go through to some extent shooting their shot, rejection is real.
I could never!
It is dangerous advice because it also allows the victim to feel like "I shouldn't say anything since I am not really leaving." However, it is understandable why her friend may come up with that idea in that it takes many victims many tries to actually leave.
If you aren't interested in learning from your mistakes or leaving a bad situation or changing from something that has proven over and over to not benefit you, you want to burden others with your foolishness.... Nah... Emotional dumping is a no no... Suffer in silence till your ready 5o move on then ask for support... It's mentally drawing to others when you keep going back to a bad situation over and over
Some women will set other women up for failure. You just have to see it for what it is. 🤷🏾♀️
This is what happens when you have low self esteem and no options. You get played
That does not work as "advice", it's more of a truth about the kind of people that stick around in bad relationships. Basically, you can tell them the other person is no good until you're blue in the face, but until they're really DONE, they won't end it. That's a sad reality, not "advice" and it's reckless to view it that way 🤨
The behavior of the first chick is disturbing. That is teenager sh*t and she needs to pull back from pursuing men for a while. She's not ugly but she has "model looks" if that makes sense. Also take into account how you look to different races. Apparently, since I've dated non-black men, my looks are appealing across different races( medium-sized nose, smaller lips, almond-shaped eyes, somewhat high cheekbones,etc). So she needs to not take it personally.We live in a highly visual world where even the most iconic, beautiful women have dealt with some sort of self-doubt. I wish her a happy dating life going forward and hopefully, she can understand attraction has a lot of components to it( where the guy is on the social/sexual dating market, his financial status, the circles he runs in,etc) and to keep it moving unless she likes someone that likes her back.
I think it's kinda natural to go back a couple times. The third time was the charm. And by then it was easy to walk away and stay away. Because by then u know that u really tried and it'll never work. Fyi, this was a situation where there was no DV. If there's DV, leave the first time it happens and don't look back.
It's the truth, I fought for a friend but she went back toll he killed her abd her baby.
My sister did the same, but she left and it was a once and done situation. That friend of hers is not the kind of woman you like or puty, thete was a reason she chose that guy against all advice.
0:28 no for real just the title gave me such a hard PTSD type of flashback
I’m pretty sure my therapist would agree. I probably do definitely yes have PTSD because the anxiety the stress, the flashbacks the feeling of nausea.
😅😅😅
I don’t know how I broke out of that solution took me three years 🥹😭😭😭😭
But it worked … I definitely cannot stand that mofo…. I went back until they were no more feeling like there was nothing in my soul nothing like oh my lord
I should’ve kicked him in the shin before I left 🤣
I agree. Go back until you get tired of it. Know too many women that wont listen to reasoning. They need to stay until they are ready to leave
There was NOTHING ugli about her!
1:02 oh, I definitely don’t recommend it. It is not for the smart and logical.
When you’re dealing with like an actual sociopaths, those who will manipulate, you use your family, their family, and anybody else, including the dog against you and her nephew 😅
It is it was it was bad I feel bad about it but then also I was young and I didn’t know any better. Life was it it was everything was just such a shit show. 🤣
Granny told me to go to hell I had to laugh at her face cause I’m like I’m already there babes
Looking back at it now I feel like I had ended up going back because I was scared
But I wanna left for good I was angry that’s what I needed. I needed to be angry.
It took me three years to get angry …. And now I have the quickest temperature ever had in my life
I don’t know I feel like it’s like a defense mechanism that’s left over from that 😅
Ladies should never reach out to a guy first.
What about as a friend
@@MedusssssaChristo It depends but I guess as long as you don't have feelings it's fine.
❤❤❤❤❤
1:30 she is beautiful, idk how it was due to her looks bc didn't he already know what she looks like?
Disagree with the one talking about having female friends, I have a good male friend, and I would not be ok with a partner expecting me to end the friendship just bc they can't trust me?? And what if your partner is gay or bi??
Im a virgo baby. I don't eat my vomit.😊
I know guys who have female friends. Like me. Who's not into men. It's possible.
I think this is very poor advice, but I kind of understand where the friend was coming from because there are some people in life that you can give advice to and tell them that this relationship is toxic. But as long as they still have feelings for that person, they're still going to pine over that person. They're still going to wonder if things could have gotten better and all that kind of jazz and so the friend was saying go back to you. Can't take it anymore. In other words, get that person out of your system because once you realize their true character and how it doesn't match yours. Once you realize the reality of the person versus the fantasy that you created around them, then you can leave and not go back. But to me this is not a behavior. That should be encouraged. It's just how some people are. Some people have to learn from experience and some people learn from the experiences of others and some people learn just from being told about somebody's experience. It all depends on the type of friend you have. How you deal with the situation. Unfortunately, there are some of your friends that you're just going to have to watch go through the cycle because they have not completed their learning process. In that relationship they're not ready to let go. So there is nothing that you can do except be a supportive person until they finally realize that this ain't the way to go.
At this point… what is the point
5:45 so how do females feel about guys that communicate they’re not interested in platonic relationships because they’re interested in a romantic relationship? I’ve gotten the impression that it shows a “Lack of Maturity”. lol
It's NOT a "lack of maturity" to state clearly what you want from the jump.
@@silververnallbells191 Would you state that from the first interaction or wait until you figure out why you like that person first?
@@AlwonDomz If you like someone romantically you should let that be known so you don’t continue to develop stronger feelings by hanging out with them as friends. If they don’t like you back that’s fine just move on if you aren’t interested in a friendship. Honesty is the best policy always.
@@thrill102 Does it take time or effort to know what you like about someone? How would you go about that so you don’t love bomb early or be non chalant?
@@AlwonDomz Anything you do takes time and effort even friendships. Honestly I’m sure there’s good people out here trying to give good advice but the best thing you can do for yourself is go to therapy to really figure yourself out. Find a therapist you feel comfortable talking to and you’ll be surprised how much you will learns about yourself.
Sounds DUMB, Absolutely Ridiculous
Why y'all chasing these dudes
I feel like the guy is yt or a colorist 😅
I don't get that perspective. I mastered the 'walk the eff away once you're annoyed enough' mindset years ago. I might give you a couple of chances if what you did was not that bad but I'm losing more and more interest after every chance so it's never really the same again. When I really feel insulted, I don't care about apologies or anything. I just leave and move on with my life.
Leave the first time... Not bad enough.... Not a single abuse story starts with the guy punching the girl... It's starts small... The first time you are violated even if it's forgetting to pick you up... Leave... Waiting around and going back is pathetic tbh, they lose respect for you