This is exactly why I don’t care about dating no more , I will remain being a good person with boundaries. I’m not changing who I am to appeal to a man or boy.
I worked in clubs. The nice girls were home taking care of the baby while their husbands were spending money on girls at the club who didn't care about them.
People really get hung up on the "mean" part, I think. They think it means going over the top, or playing hard to get, or doing an act. It's simple: do you know how LITTLE you have to do as a woman to be considered "mean"? Not laugh at every joke out of obligation, be honest/blunt, don't perform your emotions, have and enforce boundaries? Literally just look out for number one? It takes so little effort to be considered a difficult woman. The only hard part is unlearning all that nice-girl crap that gets us jumping through hoops. Stop caring so much, focus on yourself, detach from any outcome involving a man, and they'll line up to be the one to get you to care. It's that simple.
You don't have to entertain unhealed people. Just be kind and only spend time with other kind people. People who will return your kindness in full do exist.
My ex never cared about me in the relationship. Never cared enough to give gifts or celebrate anything, but the last year when I suddenly stopped caring, he did get me gifts and love bombed. I left a week after his first gift to me. Realized I couldn't care less about him.
They really expect us to be therapists for men just to date them. "He's acting like this because in his childhood..." Blah, blah, blah. I'm not unpacking your entire life story just to understand you. Be an adult and come correct.
Men respect women who hold them accountable and call them out on the BS. They do not respect women who allow them to walk all over them, which is usually what nice girls do. If you value yourself, you will behave, not like the latter. Im a nice girl, and i did finish last bcos I let people take the piss. When I started knowing my worth, I started putting my footdown now im married. Im still very caring and loving, but i demand respect, care, and love no exceptions.
It’s not about being mean or crazy for me. It’s having boundaries and saying “no”. I remain extremely nice but I’m naturally “mysterious” and when I feel like a guy is pushing my limits, I speak up sternly. I don’t do wifely things because I’m not a wife. Men need to earn my servitude. They always get shocked and either don’t like it or say, “that’s not you”. I get infuriated when I hear that. You don’t tell me who I am. You’re the fool for thinking I was a doormat 😂.
I will just continue to stay single. I'm not about to be mean and play mental gymnastics in order to get a romantic partner. Men who like this kind of womanly behavior are emotionally unintelligent and immature which is what I don’t need anyway.
Another point. Don't change for a man. He will find you wearing short dresses, wearing stilettos and wearing 30inch frontals. He will try to change you to long dresses in public, flat shoes and natural hair girl. Nothing wrong with both but never allow him to be reason why you change
When i stopped being a sweet little doormat who gives multiple chances, shares money, and has infinite patience is when i ended up with a man who actually does respect me. I was a pick me and it got me literally nowhere because men find women like that replaceable. Most men don’t actually want someone who’s just easy and agreeable.
I don't date anymore being nice and good doesn't mean anything to men when you're a not a whoremonger. I had men tell me if you won't give me the goods I'll get it elsewhere and they chased easy women. I officially stopped dating in 2014 and never been happier. Being nice doesn't mean anything to men these days. My boundaries are up with men too many issues with them !
This is exactly why I don’t care about dating no more , I will remain being a good person with boundaries. I’m not changing who I am to appeal to a man or boy.
I worked in clubs. The nice girls were home taking care of the baby while their husbands were spending money on girls at the club who didn't care about them.
let us normalize loving people who are nice to us. if you like someone who is not nice to you , you should go to therapy .
I keep it simple and just reciprocate the way people treat me. However, if there’s toxicity or confusion, I don’t go back and forth-I disappear.
Starting to think this world is just not for me.😢
If I gotta do all this, I don't want it.
As a nice girl, I met a nice guy and we’re happily in a healthy relationship. Go where you’re appreciated. Don’t change for stupid people..
People really get hung up on the "mean" part, I think. They think it means going over the top, or playing hard to get, or doing an act. It's simple: do you know how LITTLE you have to do as a woman to be considered "mean"? Not laugh at every joke out of obligation, be honest/blunt, don't perform your emotions, have and enforce boundaries? Literally just look out for number one? It takes so little effort to be considered a difficult woman. The only hard part is unlearning all that nice-girl crap that gets us jumping through hoops. Stop caring so much, focus on yourself, detach from any outcome involving a man, and they'll line up to be the one to get you to care. It's that simple.
You don't have to entertain unhealed people. Just be kind and only spend time with other kind people. People who will return your kindness in full do exist.
My ex never cared about me in the relationship. Never cared enough to give gifts or celebrate anything, but the last year when I suddenly stopped caring, he did get me gifts and love bombed. I left a week after his first gift to me. Realized I couldn't care less about him.
They really expect us to be therapists for men just to date them. "He's acting like this because in his childhood..." Blah, blah, blah. I'm not unpacking your entire life story just to understand you. Be an adult and come correct.
Men respect women who hold them accountable and call them out on the BS. They do not respect women who allow them to walk all over them, which is usually what nice girls do. If you value yourself, you will behave, not like the latter. Im a nice girl, and i did finish last bcos I let people take the piss. When I started knowing my worth, I started putting my footdown now im married. Im still very caring and loving, but i demand respect, care, and love no exceptions.
I think you can balance being a nice girl and being a bad bitch. Its a time and a place for everything
It’s not about being mean or crazy for me. It’s having boundaries and saying “no”. I remain extremely nice but I’m naturally “mysterious” and when I feel like a guy is pushing my limits, I speak up sternly. I don’t do wifely things because I’m not a wife. Men need to earn my servitude. They always get shocked and either don’t like it or say, “that’s not you”. I get infuriated when I hear that. You don’t tell me who I am. You’re the fool for thinking I was a doormat 😂.
I will just continue to stay single. I'm not about to be mean and play mental gymnastics in order to get a romantic partner. Men who like this kind of womanly behavior are emotionally unintelligent and immature which is what I don’t need anyway.
Another point. Don't change for a man. He will find you wearing short dresses, wearing stilettos and wearing 30inch frontals. He will try to change you to long dresses in public, flat shoes and natural hair girl. Nothing wrong with both but never allow him to be reason why you change
When i stopped being a sweet little doormat who gives multiple chances, shares money, and has infinite patience is when i ended up with a man who actually does respect me. I was a pick me and it got me literally nowhere because men find women like that replaceable. Most men don’t actually want someone who’s just easy and agreeable.
Imagine having to be mean to be picked by men...
I don't date anymore being nice and good doesn't mean anything to men when you're a not a whoremonger. I had men tell me if you won't give me the goods I'll get it elsewhere and they chased easy women. I officially stopped dating in 2014 and never been happier. Being nice doesn't mean anything to men these days. My boundaries are up with men too many issues with them !
When you are only nice, you trigger their unconscious fear that you will be nice to any guy