Look at it this way. They gave you independence and self worth. He inherited reliance and lowered self esteem. I think you inherited more as you can pass your gift to your children through your character.
Similar situation here. My parents always favored the youngest son over my sister and me. We think it is bc their first born son died when he was a toddler and when the second son was born, they were overjoyed. He always relied on my parents, expecting an inheritance. My sister and I were always close to our parents and each other, caring for them as they aged. A few years before their passing they secretly signed over their house to the brother. My sister and I were each married and had our own homes. It wasn’t the money so much as the glaring favoritism. Shame on them.
My dad left me and my brother an inheritance and my older brother nothing. Older brother. Didn’t have a relationship with him. Two of us knew it 30yrs before dad passed. Now ref he could get sick and nothing be left. Well in my case my dad would rather die than spend his money. Just saying. He did even go to a doctor. He passed away at 89 natural causes. Oh by the way he had a Will. Louisiana only require a Will. Easy transfer in that state.
You don’t know that. My mom need to get extensive care and it was all done at home with outpatient care and eventually hospice. All covered by insurance and Medicare.
@@teeduck Thats exactly his point, you dont know that. You dont know if your parents will have expensive care or if it will be covered. Better to plan for the worst and hope for the best.
I found this video looking for help with my own problem. My aunt is mad at me for receiving equal inheritance as her from her parents/my grandparents passing. The only reason I got what I got was because my mother passed prior to my grandmother and therefore I recieved what mom would have recieved. My grandmother was very upfront about her will with everyone several years ago, yet its still creating this tension. I don't feel guilty for accepting what I was gifted but I don't like this resentment its creating. But I also know if I hand my portion (or even a cut of it) over to "keep the peace", I'll feel resentment towards my aunt for pressuring me out of what was given to me and resent myself for giving in.
@sportagus3 you're not wrong, it is her problem but she ran to her son (my cousin) and cried to him about how "unfair" this all turned out. Then he starts sending me messages calling me greedy and manipulative, as if I conned our grandmother into giving me a cut. I guess the tension stems from me being angry about the accusations I've had hurled at me but I also know I need to let it go.
My husband was allocated 60% of the inheritance because when the will was written he was a minor and his parents wanted to make sure he was taken care of when growing up including getting an education. His siblings are 12 years+ older. However, my husband is now 50. His two sisters were allocated 10% each and his brother 15%. (5% was given to the church) We decided to split the 95% so that each sibling would get an equal share while considering the parents wishes. The 100k that we still received allowed us to pay off the debt including the mortgage, get a fully funded emergency fund, some for our sons college, and still take a nice vacation. We did not need more and we were already so blessed by it and thankful. We are totally at peace with the decision to not take another 150k on top of what we got. His sisters were there when my husband was in the hospital after he almost died and they even gifted us money so we would not worry about it then. It's up to each person to decide what they want to do.
In my 35+ years working in estate planning, probate, and post-mortem estate management, I’ve learned it’s best to gather and explain to children the reasons for unequal inheritances (unequal, not inequitable). I’ve also observed the reasons this is rarely done: parents are fearful of outcomes of their decisions. They would rather be dead when their kids find out the truth. 😂
This isn't a Dave Ramsay question, it's a Dr. Phil question. I wonder why would the parents want to tell either child something like this? It's (telling kids things like this) not something that would improve any of the relationships.
As the child of a first marriage, I wouldn’t be surprised if the current wife is the one fueling the uneven split. When I was growing up my dad and stepmother would refuse to buy me things I asked for like s computer saying it was too expensive then immediately turn around and buy it for their son who is 11 years younger than I am. They didn’t pay a dime to help me pay for college when at the same time were sending my half brother to a small private school. TBH Not only do I have no expectations that the inheritance will be evenly split, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t leave me anything. I wouldn’t blame their son nor feel animosity towards him if he didn’t give me half. Her parents should have the balls to tell the brother what their wishes are before they die.
This sounds so much like my life with mom and step-dad. I’m the oldest of 3 sisters and the youngest who is 15 yrs younger than me inherited most everything that was my mothers after her passing a year ago, but the difference was that we were told by them that we were dis-inherited in our 20’s. I’m 57 now. Have such a hard time with knowing that me and my other sister were thought so little of. And to boot my half-sister that had her private school art degree paid for has only worked 4-6 yrs of her life and never has had to pay a dime in rent or for any major bills in her while my other sister lives out of her van…and when she asked if she could stay for a short time at one of there properties my step-dad said no. These are properties that had been in my mother’s side of the family for generations. Now everything is being sold and my half-sister and step-dad are leaving the state to live on a ranch they’re buying from proceeds of the sale of homes and rentals here. I feel like I sound like a big baby, but I get where you’re coming from it’s like a punch in the gut.
There's a 20 year gap though, so my guess is that he was close to an adult or an adult before these parents got together, and the wife may have come in with half the money (or made half). So it might be they decided to give him half because he was only dad's son. The son also inherits from bio mom, so IDK how much of a screw it is. Also, it's still a lot of money at 500K.
My dad and my step mom made it very simple. They just divided the total estate by the number of the total kids. But then again the who family gets along well.
My ex's third wife wouldn't host my kids at their house on week-ends and holidays, but her son visited there all the time. Then they paid towards the son's education, but not my children's. My kids have done nothing wrong, but it is now easy to say they didn't spend enough time with their dad, who now has also moved to another country. My children feel bad, that they are not valued and loved to the same extent as the stepson, but it is none of their doing - they are decent and hardworking. So, in the situation discussed, I would not be quick to judge. In my case, although I'm not rich, I will make sure to divide my inheritance equally and let my children know how much I love and value each of them.
@@jeannehunter5344similar story to my husband, tho he got to spend time with his father every summer… He still got the short end of the stick throughout… No money for college unlike sibling, no money for wedding, unlike sibling… Now that he passed, no money from inheritance… It is what it is… So all we can do is put all this pain at the foot of the cross in offering to God in the highest and move on as best as we can without looking back… 🤷♀️😅
Always difficult. Families are complicated. I come from a narcissistic family, which I left a few years ago. There are a bevy of people who would say that I deserve nothing and that any brother or sister who stayed, should inherit everything. Some would even say so, regardless of the abuse my mother tried to inflict, as if it’s her choice and right. But, I left, because it was my choice to defend myself and I really didn’t want to reactively abuse her, in turn. I don’t know that this video tells the entire story. IF the parents were narcissistic at all, the son had good reason to not be close to them. If their situation is anything like mine, my mother began using my sister to beat me over the head. That’s not something I allow in my life. But, my mother didn’t like that I have boundaries and the ability to tel her no.
A half heir shouldn't feel entitled to an equal portion anyways, considering the 50% allocation of the wife. When the older brother's bio mother leaves an inheritance, none will pass to her ex-husband's adopted daughter, either.
Exactly. This is an important point. The son is from another marriage, the daughter is the daughter of both mom and dad. Mom, who is not the son's mother, may have contributed greatly to the couple's income, so it seems perfectly fair and reasonable that the daughter they share would receive the lion's share of their inheritance.
That sounds reasonable but a lot will depend on who passes first. Couples rarely die at the exact same time. If mom dies first then the daughter and husband will inherit. If the dad died after the mother then there could be an even split. My uncle told my cousin who is his daughter from his first marriage that if he dies before his current wife she likely won’t inherit as much.
@anndeecosita3586 Get with a lawyer and make a binding will. Inheritance can be issued in segments with each parent's passing. I know of a stepfather who handed money to one stepkid, the only one not on drugs, and to his bio kids, because who knows how his 2nd wife will split the rest.
not at all this callers fault. I have noticed in these kind of situations usually the kids from the first marriage end up getting less from their dad, then the sibilings who were raised by the dad along with his wife from 2nd or later marriages.
This is true I experienced this in my own life, I am my dads child from his first marriage and I have a brother and sister from his 2nd wife. My dad and I relationship was very estranged not my fault he left me and my mom. Anyways when my dad passed he did not have a will so all the money went to my step mom and her kids. She did give me some money but no where near as much as my brother and sister got.
Same boat here being the first child from fathers first marriage. Although I'm not expecting anything from anyone, it's not my money to begin with. It's wrong to expect something you didn't earn yourself.
Sometimes it’s not about the money. It’s about the value you had with your children. Sometimes we like to believe are parents actually do love us but then pettiness shows even at their graves. It’s not right if the son doesn’t know the truth of the distribution or atleast tell him WHY
I agree. My sister was ashamed and angry for being raised in a large family of 10 children, leading a rebellious life and making decisions that our parents believed were self-serving (yes, many were). She was, and continues to be, a life-long liar who embellishes the truth to self-promote. Our parents left her a mere $10 in their will. There was also a badly written Trust, which was mismanaged by a Trustee, so I battled the Trustee for distribution of the monies. I felt awful that our parents had short-changed my sister, so I managed to have additional Trust assets distributed to my sister. While it was not the amount the rest of us received, it was certainly more generous than her original inheritance. She wasn’t thankful. She’s angry at me (perhaps for failing to secure more money for her) and refuses to speak to me. Yeah, I think our parents made the proper decision when writing their wills.
@@probablynot1368 There is always two sides of a story. Those parents don’t sound like good people to only leave $10. Might as well leave them nothing and explain why and at-least a letter telling them they loved them. Parents like those are just petty and only make the situation worst. Kids are not born bad…
@@probablynot1368 Your parents sound petty for leaving her $10. It’s like they wanted to make a condemnation of her from the grave. It would have been better to have left her nothing. I had friends who had a very bad server and isn’t of not leaving a tip at all they left her a penny because that said more about how they felt about her than not leaving a tip.
Both of you are extremely fortunate. Just imagine how many people in this world would love to be in your shoes and your brother. Why feel guilty. Mom and Dad didn't have to leave you anything.
Sometimes it’s not about the money. It’s about the value you had with your children. Sometimes we like to believe are parents actually do love us but then pettiness shows even at their graves. It’s not right if the son doesn’t know the truth of the distribution or atleast tell him WHY
Wrong, your parents owe you everything they have on death. Whether you helped them or not. Who else would it go to a random stranger? 🤔 And why would it go to a random stranger before their own kids? Nobody works for free for years on end.
"When they pass away" - keywords...they might not die for another 20 years. So how about calm down and keep doing what you doing and expect 0. A lot can change in 20 yrs. If you get something, cool..if not cool. Concentrate on your own life 😉.
There is no guilt. It's the parents money. They can do what they wish. Also to consider is the caller's father is on his second marriage. The son is from the 1st, and he was not raised by the father. The money is the husband's and second wife's. They can divide it has They please.... The son is lucky he is getting what he gets..... Nothing about Jacob and Esau here.
I agree what you saying. If the the caller want a healthy relationship, she should split it evenly. Or treat the situation like a job. You don't talk about money. Somehow the siblings new how much the other siblings received which is a bad idea. Calling the show, tell me the caller is bragging.. Why call Dave for this type of moral question... I agree, legally you are right. If you don't want some type of drama split the money or the money should never been spoke about.
There’s a lot of assumptions built into the story anyway. These people could live 20 years, or one of them needs $1 million of end-of-life care. They’re still alive! I don’t know how the stories going to end and nobody else does either
I disagree. Boundaries. No one’s business what I do with my money. I’ll give it to who I decide. I don’t have to explain that out. Doesn’t make them a coward.
I wish they had a Ramsey's community group so that people that are working on baby steps can be supportive to each other and help encourage one another to keep going through the struggle until they reach their goal. And have others to socialize with that are working towards the same financial goals.
my mom and aunt have torn apart our family bc all is going to one side and the other one is not getting anything - but my aunt has no remorse at all smh
This is a common international situation where the bad child gets lil or nothing. If you feel guilty then kill your guilt by sharing a part of your portion. This will help you have a better relation with your sibling.
Here's one for you. My sister in law passed away. She left equal amounts to her three surviving sisters. She had two nieces and four nephews. One of the nieces lived close and although they were not that close the niece that lived nearby visited her maybe a dozen time over twenty years. She left that niece over a 100K and left the remaining nieces and nephews nothing. Here is what it did. Here legacy that had been in good standing is now crap with the left out heirs and they resent the one who got the money. So my sister in law is gone and all she left was a strain in what had been a close family. The lesson here is be careful with your inheritance. It may cause trouble in the family.
There are plenty of rational reasons someone might think uneven is right. One is if he has a potential large inheritance from the other side of his family. Another is if the mom had money before the relationship she wants to go to her child and the stepson was grown when they married and they have no real relationship. A third is if this is more about the grand child. My mom has told me she’s leaving more money to my sister because she has a special needs child and I make significantly more than my sister does. It’s not my money to decide what to do with so I let it go because she’s doing her best.
Adult children have no particular right to anything. You don’t automatically get stuff. It happens either due to a will OR the complete absence of a will at all and you’re just next of kin.
thats why some families like the Rothschild are wealthy, and the vast majority are not. You dont leave wealth just for your kids. You do it so future generations hundreds of years in the future will have more opportunity than you did.
Sometimes it's not the kid's fault. The parents could just dislike their kid because they look at them as a disappointment or the kid didn't "turn out" like they wanted. Nothing the child can do would rectify the situation. Is this a fair situation then? I think not and hopefully the executor of the estate would help with a fair and impartial inheritance.
No one should have to feel that they need to level the playing field. She should be able to take her inheritance without guilt and without feeling she’s doing something wrong if she doesn’t equally share it.
An heir has the right to refuse all or a portion of any inheritance. Like most family issues, keep your opinions to yourself and do what you feel is right when the time comes.
So many details not discussed! Maybe brother is wealthy already (20 years older) and she’s a struggling single mom. She never said that there was any animosity between brother and parents. They didn’t ask. And, by the way, why did they tell her now how much she’s getting? So they can get gratitude satisfaction? That’s just weird. After they pass, how would they find out how much each is getting? Contrary to popular movie scenes, I don’t think everyone meets at the lawyer’s office for a reading of the will. That’s silly. The attorney sends everyone involved a letter stating what you are getting. Unless the parties compare notes, no one should know what anyone is getting. And if she feels guilty about it, she can give him some more from her pile. I’m just really puzzled at these parents’ motivation.
Also, the caller said she AND her daughter are getting $1M total. Maybe the biological son doesn't have children. Not uncommon for grandparents to leave money to grandkids. And I agree - so many questions and details weren't addressed.
If you sincerely feel guilty about your inheritance, just switch your inheritance with him. Problem solved. Or just moved on and enjoy your inheritance.
We are accountable before God with how we handle money and love each other. Just because we can "legally" doesn't silence God's judgment on our actions. Remember how the prodigal son was treated... that reflects God's love for us. Do we follow money or God?
I’m super close with my parents. They’ve built up a nice nest egg and I tell them, spend it because ingrates will have no problem spending it! My parents have already told some siblings they’re cut out.
My aunt is doing the same for me and leaving me the house and all of accounts and my 2 brothers get a tiny life insurance each and i have no problem with makes me happy that it comes to me because i was the only to come around just to see her and called her all the time. While my brothers only cone around to ask for money so it's a rub it into their faces.
It has to do with the parents they feel like their daughter should received more because she's close to them. They are hurt in way 😔 they are doing them wrong. If it was me I would split it in half.
I couldn't find the right forum but perhaps you can offer advice. Years ago, I inherited a beautiful home from my Grandma in a ritzy neighbourhood in California. I made a promise I would raise the children I never bothered to have there. However, my husband insisted that we should sell and move to a much smaller place. He says it's ridiculous for 2 people to live in a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house. I can't bring myself to sell something that has brought me so close to my grandma & I don't know how to separate. My home is worth over 2 million. We both have successful careers. I don't know if I'm ready and feel like I've betrayed my Grandma. Please advise.
The brother might be getting more from his mother. also, maybe the brother is already rich. Also, if you think it is unfair you can always give him some of the money when the time comes. Feel free to do what makes you sleep well at night.
Each family has its own reasons for decisions in the will, and there is no place for guilt over those decisions....they are doing what they think is right. My very wealthy friend has told me that she will be giving a "double share" to her only daughter and a "single share" to each of her sons. In my mind, this is not right, but not my business. She has her own rationale. And, given that the caller's parents are 70, it is not unreasonable to think that they might live another 20 years and no one really knows what their estate may look like at that time.
The caller has a big heart. But she is mixing guilt that brother isn’t getting 1/2; because she straight out says her relationship is civil not good. The caller even said brother and parents don’t really have a relationship. If you don’t have a relationship with someone, you don’t get their money. Also brother might be getting less, because he might be in a much better financial position than her
she feels bad because she has a good heart. if she thinks that the inheritance she receive more than enough she could give her brother what she feels good about.
If you do the math it looks like the parents left all of mom’s and half of dad’s to the caller and half of dad’s to brother. That’s fair considering he’ll likely get something from his mom as well.
Hmmm, the math might not be horrible. If their inheritance is 4/3rds of a million dollars, the mom's half is 2/3rds and the dad's half is 2/3rds, and the son only inherits from his "dad" because they married when he was just about an adult, then his share would be 1/3rd. Meanwhile the son still gets an inheritance from his bio mom if there is one. I have an older sister in this situation getting the "same" as everyone else, but she also inherited from her mom, and she'll end up inheriting twice as much. Then the son doesn't have a strong relationship the parents, so they are being generous anyway. As Dave would say, it's their money.
Easy solution is not to even think about it, as if they never told her. When the time comes, take the inheritance and mind her own business. If her brother makes an issue just call him or go see him and ask him to drop any animosity. And if he can’t, well that's the way its going to be. Just move on with life . Maybe even do something like a charitable trust for the portion of money that is more than his.
Don’t feel guilty. Just accept the decisions of your parents. I’m sure they’ve considered all of the options and nuances. And no, Dave, no one is a coward here.
Maybe the bulk of the income was from her mother and he was gone during the time her parents were married. Maybe the daughter will have a bigger roll in taking care of them, he is getting property or he already got a chunk of money. She can give him a portion if she wants to.
it is possible the second wife contributed considerably to the high assets and wants her portion to go to her child (evenually). It could be that the father associates the child from the first marriage with the first wife and has less regard for him. (Men occasionally see themselves as divorced from their children when they are divorced from the mother. Some are bitter about having to pay child support and alimony and transfer that negativity onto the children from that failed marriage). Maybe the son already got a considerable amount of money or his education costs were much higher and were paid for by the father. Maybe they are narcs and like to drive a wedge in beween siblings. Maybe the mother got a considerable part of the assets w/o contributing financially, and the father thinks his son will get a part of that as well. If the father makes a difference of 700,000 just like that - it can create tensions (when there is no understandable reason). Her brother gets 350.000 less than her. In many countries by default (if there is no will) the wife gets a portion and the rest is divided up to all the children. That can well include out of wedlock children. Normally that portion can be reduced but not to zero. And normally the wife has to get something (of all that the assets that were aquired during the marriage). The other spouse can forgo that (for instance a prenuptial) but in order to go beneath the default legal portion the other spouse will need a signature, it cannot be onesided. Cutting a child out of the will can only be done in case of serious transgressions. Assault on the parents, serving a long prison sentence, ongoing addiction problems, abandoning them when they were in need of help. And high gifts (like gifting them assets) have to be considered often many years back (so no weaseling out of having to give some minimum to each and every one of the children. So favoritism is possible, but there are limits. Of course the siblings can forego their inheritance, for instance when most is tied up in a company or farm. This is often signed when the parents are still alive. And the other siblings must cooperate. Normally there is some social pressure on the other heirs to be reasonable.
The parents may have already given her brother a large amount of money that she knows nothing about. Possibly a down payment on a house twenty years ago, and the brother knows it.
Then give him your money and stop feeling guilty. Problem solved. But you don’t want to do that, you want to keep the money, and you want someone to tell you it’s ok.
I did not feel right accepting covid money from the government so I sent it back. I have 2 brothers. I will not accept a larger inheritance than them. By law if I have to accept a larger portion then I will divide it equally on my own.
Maybe there are two insure policies on dad one for him one for you your mother has own policy that goes to you. He wasn't raised the family home and has no emotional ties to it or the things in it
Also. The brother is 20yrs older which puts him in his mid 50s. Maybe he has more financial stability or has no kids to leave any extra money to... We don't know! We do know that she has a family to provide for and a closer relationship with the parents.
The way I see it is, the brother can go get the other $700k from his mother. I'm sure their father was paying alimony/spousal maintenance all the time he was growing up and was with his mother.....
This is. To something for her to burden herself at all about. No one is entitled to anyone’s inheritance, not even our parent’s assets. Often times determining where assets go after death comes down to “reaping what has been sowed”. If her brother is chapped, leave him and move on.
Easiest way to not feel guilty split the money willing with your bro regardless of the will I’m sure dad and mom will be proud this both could get an equal head start in life without ruining family reunion plus you sure as hell well look like one massive hero and gain the love and affection of your brother plus if your hardworking and diligent you can always make it in your own.😊
But here is the deal… the siblings shouldn’t get the same because the work and sacrifice is NOT the same. If the work, sacrifice and Love was not the Same the money left should not be the same. See I have some family members that refused to help do anything at all because they said they couldn’t get away from work..but I left work and traveled 6000 miles to help out…and lost pay because of it…the sibling that didn’t help even though they lived just a short distance away made money at work and I lost money..plus there were very emotional things I had to deal with that he didn’t have to deal with..so his bank account was filling up while mine was being depleted both financially and emotionally for YEARS. So NO…he should not get equal money. Even after the deaths there was a lot of work that took me years in order to repair stuff to sell and get everything all cleaned up. but the family stands around with their hands out. I have shared for sure but Jesus..how much more??? The lazy stand around with their hands out while sacrificing absolutely Nothing.
I'm pretty sure my parents are donating the entirely of their large fortune to charity. But if they did leave to my siblings and I, I would definitely just redistribute it to my siblings who got less. No question.
If it was because they judged the sibling for something shallow, such as “that sibling is short, or less attractive so I don’t respect them equally” then sure yes.
But if it’s for a valid reason, like that sibling was spoiled, and/or had a baby with someone in a different race, and/or hates America, or they just don’t respect their family or people, THEN that’s a very valid reason IMO to deny them equal inheritance. I still wouldn’t leave them with nothing. But probably less
@@charlesg7926 Wow, Charles. “Having a baby with someone from a different race”? Be a human being and examine your heart. Don’t pass on that inheritance please. Make the world a better place.
There are two different wealth streams possibly in play and she seems to know little about her brothers mother and or if how much front loaded money the brother received. It should also be factored how much money is the result of her adoptive mothers contribution. You guys get hard questions sometimes. It's why I like watching.
Yes they can give to whoever they want. They can donate it to Putin for all they care. Parents are petty, especially if they don’t tell their other son the truth.
This scenario changes if the dad passes before step-mother. Step-mother can call an audible and leave everything to Mary. = Blended family problems! Kinda wish that Dave turned the focus managing instant wealth through an inheritance.
My mum cut my brother out of her Will recently and wrote to me asking if I would like to be disinherited also. I ignored her. She has severe mental health problems and has really damaged my brother and my life. If she leaves me anything, I will instantly share it with my brother - I will not have her control our relationship and harm our closeness, either dead or alive. I am sick of game-playing Boomer parents who have money to leave and use it to control and humiliate their children. Boomers are an awful generation.
It is heart breaking that my failure to launch brother got everything my parents had. It is not the money but the obvious favoritism.
Look at it this way. They gave you independence and self worth. He inherited reliance and lowered self esteem. I think you inherited more as you can pass your gift to your children through your character.
Similar situation here. My parents always favored the youngest son over my sister and me. We think it is bc their first born son died when he was a toddler and when the second son was born, they were overjoyed. He always relied on my parents, expecting an inheritance. My sister and I were always close to our parents and each other, caring for them as they aged. A few years before their passing they secretly signed over their house to the brother. My sister and I were each married and had our own homes. It wasn’t the money so much as the glaring favoritism. Shame on them.
If either (or both) of her parents get sick and need expensive care, there will be no inheritance. It's a little early for this guilt trip to begin.
My dad left me and my brother an inheritance and my older brother nothing. Older brother. Didn’t have a relationship with him. Two of us knew it 30yrs before dad passed. Now ref he could get sick and nothing be left. Well in my case my dad would rather die than spend his money. Just saying. He did even go to a doctor. He passed away at 89 natural causes. Oh by the way he had a Will. Louisiana only require a Will. Easy transfer in that state.
Good point
You don’t know that. My mom need to get extensive care and it was all done at home with outpatient care and eventually hospice. All covered by insurance and Medicare.
@@teeduck Thats exactly his point, you dont know that. You dont know if your parents will have expensive care or if it will be covered. Better to plan for the worst and hope for the best.
I found this video looking for help with my own problem. My aunt is mad at me for receiving equal inheritance as her from her parents/my grandparents passing. The only reason I got what I got was because my mother passed prior to my grandmother and therefore I recieved what mom would have recieved. My grandmother was very upfront about her will with everyone several years ago, yet its still creating this tension. I don't feel guilty for accepting what I was gifted but I don't like this resentment its creating. But I also know if I hand my portion (or even a cut of it) over to "keep the peace", I'll feel resentment towards my aunt for pressuring me out of what was given to me and resent myself for giving in.
Tension between who? It's your aunts problem
I’m sorry you have such an immature aunt. I hope you can ignore her anger and move forward without worrying about what she thinks.
Better be mad at someone else than yourself.
@sportagus3 you're not wrong, it is her problem but she ran to her son (my cousin) and cried to him about how "unfair" this all turned out. Then he starts sending me messages calling me greedy and manipulative, as if I conned our grandmother into giving me a cut. I guess the tension stems from me being angry about the accusations I've had hurled at me but I also know I need to let it go.
Tell your aunt to get over it, or go away. Your GM passing her daughter (your mom’s) share of the inheritance to you is logical and reasonable.
My husband was allocated 60% of the inheritance because when the will was written he was a minor and his parents wanted to make sure he was taken care of when growing up including getting an education. His siblings are 12 years+ older. However, my husband is now 50. His two sisters were allocated 10% each and his brother 15%. (5% was given to the church) We decided to split the 95% so that each sibling would get an equal share while considering the parents wishes. The 100k that we still received allowed us to pay off the debt including the mortgage, get a fully funded emergency fund, some for our sons college, and still take a nice vacation. We did not need more and we were already so blessed by it and thankful. We are totally at peace with the decision to not take another 150k on top of what we got. His sisters were there when my husband was in the hospital after he almost died and they even gifted us money so we would not worry about it then. It's up to each person to decide what they want to do.
Good for you, that's the way you take care of people who take care of you. 😊
In my 35+ years working in estate planning, probate, and post-mortem estate management, I’ve learned it’s best to gather and explain to children the reasons for unequal inheritances (unequal, not inequitable). I’ve also observed the reasons this is rarely done: parents are fearful of outcomes of their decisions. They would rather be dead when their kids find out the truth. 😂
This isn't a Dave Ramsay question, it's a Dr. Phil question.
I wonder why would the parents want to tell either child something like this?
It's (telling kids things like this) not something that would improve any of the relationships.
As the child of a first marriage, I wouldn’t be surprised if the current wife is the one fueling the uneven split. When I was growing up my dad and stepmother would refuse to buy me things I asked for like s computer saying it was too expensive then immediately turn around and buy it for their son who is 11 years younger than I am. They didn’t pay a dime to help me pay for college when at the same time were sending my half brother to a small private school. TBH Not only do I have no expectations that the inheritance will be evenly split, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t leave me anything. I wouldn’t blame their son nor feel animosity towards him if he didn’t give me half. Her parents should have the balls to tell the brother what their wishes are before they die.
This sounds so much like my life with mom and step-dad. I’m the oldest of 3 sisters and the youngest who is 15 yrs younger than me inherited most everything that was my mothers after her passing a year ago, but the difference was that we were told by them that we were dis-inherited in our 20’s. I’m 57 now. Have such a hard time with knowing that me and my other sister were thought so little of. And to boot my half-sister that had her private school art degree paid for has only worked 4-6 yrs of her life and never has had to pay a dime in rent or for any major bills in her while my other sister lives out of her van…and when she asked if she could stay for a short time at one of there properties my step-dad said no. These are properties that had been in my mother’s side of the family for generations. Now everything is being sold and my half-sister and step-dad are leaving the state to live on a ranch they’re buying from proceeds of the sale of homes and rentals here. I feel like I sound like a big baby, but I get where you’re coming from it’s like a punch in the gut.
There's a 20 year gap though, so my guess is that he was close to an adult or an adult before these parents got together, and the wife may have come in with half the money (or made half). So it might be they decided to give him half because he was only dad's son. The son also inherits from bio mom, so IDK how much of a screw it is. Also, it's still a lot of money at 500K.
Finally an accurate analysis of the situation.
My dad and my step mom made it very simple.
They just divided the total estate by the number of the total kids.
But then again the who family gets along well.
300k is still a good chunk of change tho. I'd be grateful regardless.
The non-adopted brother may be getting a big inheritance from his biological mother (the adoptive dad's first wife), for all we know.
But we don’t.
Also, the girl in the video sounds EW. “Civil”? “We communicate”? She sounds like an annoying inhuman robot 🤮
My ex's third wife wouldn't host my kids at their house on week-ends and holidays, but her son visited there all the time. Then they paid towards the son's education, but not my children's. My kids have done nothing wrong, but it is now easy to say they didn't spend enough time with their dad, who now has also moved to another country. My children feel bad, that they are not valued and loved to the same extent as the stepson, but it is none of their doing - they are decent and hardworking. So, in the situation discussed, I would not be quick to judge. In my case, although I'm not rich, I will make sure to divide my inheritance equally and let my children know how much I love and value each of them.
@@jeannehunter5344I’m sorry to hear that mama… God bless you and your beautiful family! 😘🙏💕
@@jeannehunter5344similar story to my husband, tho he got to spend time with his father every summer… He still got the short end of the stick throughout… No money for college unlike sibling, no money for wedding, unlike sibling… Now that he passed, no money from inheritance… It is what it is… So all we can do is put all this pain at the foot of the cross in offering to God in the highest and move on as best as we can without looking back… 🤷♀️😅
Why does he even need to know. If you get an insurance policy, you get a check. You don’t need to tell him.
It’s called integrity, parents are petty
Always difficult. Families are complicated.
I come from a narcissistic family, which I left a few years ago. There are a bevy of people who would say that I deserve nothing and that any brother or sister who stayed, should inherit everything. Some would even say so, regardless of the abuse my mother tried to inflict, as if it’s her choice and right. But, I left, because it was my choice to defend myself and I really didn’t want to reactively abuse her, in turn.
I don’t know that this video tells the entire story. IF the parents were narcissistic at all, the son had good reason to not be close to them. If their situation is anything like mine, my mother began using my sister to beat me over the head. That’s not something I allow in my life. But, my mother didn’t like that I have boundaries and the ability to tel her no.
A half heir shouldn't feel entitled to an equal portion anyways, considering the 50% allocation of the wife. When the older brother's bio mother leaves an inheritance, none will pass to her ex-husband's adopted daughter, either.
Good point. He might have another source of inheritance.
Exactly. This is an important point. The son is from another marriage, the daughter is the daughter of both mom and dad. Mom, who is not the son's mother, may have contributed greatly to the couple's income, so it seems perfectly fair and reasonable that the daughter they share would receive the lion's share of their inheritance.
That sounds reasonable but a lot will depend on who passes first. Couples rarely die at the exact same time. If mom dies first then the daughter and husband will inherit. If the dad died after the mother then there could be an even split. My uncle told my cousin who is his daughter from his first marriage that if he dies before his current wife she likely won’t inherit as much.
@anndeecosita3586 Get with a lawyer and make a binding will. Inheritance can be issued in segments with each parent's passing. I know of a stepfather who handed money to one stepkid, the only one not on drugs, and to his bio kids, because who knows how his 2nd wife will split the rest.
not at all this callers fault. I have noticed in these kind of situations usually the kids from the first marriage end up getting less from their dad, then the sibilings who were raised by the dad along with his wife from 2nd or later marriages.
This is true I experienced this in my own life, I am my dads child from his first marriage and I have a brother and sister from his 2nd wife. My dad and I relationship was very estranged not my fault he left me and my mom. Anyways when my dad passed he did not have a will so all the money went to my step mom and her kids. She did give me some money but no where near as much as my brother and sister got.
Same boat here being the first child from fathers first marriage. Although I'm not expecting anything from anyone, it's not my money to begin with. It's wrong to expect something you didn't earn yourself.
Sad. Men are disloyal.
@@genxx2724- exactly
Sometimes it’s not about the money. It’s about the value you had with your children. Sometimes we like to believe are parents actually do love us but then pettiness shows even at their graves. It’s not right if the son doesn’t know the truth of the distribution or atleast tell him WHY
I agree. My sister was ashamed and angry for being raised in a large family of 10 children, leading a rebellious life and making decisions that our parents believed were self-serving (yes, many were). She was, and continues to be, a life-long liar who embellishes the truth to self-promote. Our parents left her a mere $10 in their will. There was also a badly written Trust, which was mismanaged by a Trustee, so I battled the Trustee for distribution of the monies. I felt awful that our parents had short-changed my sister, so I managed to have additional Trust assets distributed to my sister. While it was not the amount the rest of us received, it was certainly more generous than her original inheritance. She wasn’t thankful. She’s angry at me (perhaps for failing to secure more money for her) and refuses to speak to me. Yeah, I think our parents made the proper decision when writing their wills.
@@probablynot1368 There is always two sides of a story. Those parents don’t sound like good people to only leave $10. Might as well leave them nothing and explain why and at-least a letter telling them they loved them. Parents like those are just petty and only make the situation worst. Kids are not born bad…
@@probablynot1368 Your parents sound petty for leaving her $10. It’s like they wanted to make a condemnation of her from the grave. It would have been better to have left her nothing. I had friends who had a very bad server and isn’t of not leaving a tip at all they left her a penny because that said more about how they felt about her than not leaving a tip.
@anndeecosita3586 sometimes an attorney will reccomend leaving someone a token amount in the will so that it cannot be challenged.
When the times comes, the sister can share some her portion with her brother if she feels that his needs were not met. She can choose for herself.
Both of you are extremely fortunate. Just imagine how many people in this world would love to be in your shoes and your brother. Why feel guilty. Mom and Dad didn't have to leave you anything.
Sometimes it’s not about the money. It’s about the value you had with your children. Sometimes we like to believe are parents actually do love us but then pettiness shows even at their graves. It’s not right if the son doesn’t know the truth of the distribution or atleast tell him WHY
Yep, they are fortunate. The parents could have easily willed it all to their church or favorite charity.
@@Originalman144 what’s the point working so hard and neglecting their children and not even build generational wealth? Parents are just petty
@@TheAiriph perhaps those parents. Saying parents are petty as a generalization is pretty weird.
Wrong, your parents owe you everything they have on death. Whether you helped them or not. Who else would it go to a random stranger? 🤔 And why would it go to a random stranger before their own kids? Nobody works for free for years on end.
"When they pass away" - keywords...they might not die for another 20 years. So how about calm down and keep doing what you doing and expect 0. A lot can change in 20 yrs. If you get something, cool..if not cool. Concentrate on your own life 😉.
She's being proactive. This is a problem that could be resolved before it happens.
There is no guilt. It's the parents money. They can do what they wish. Also to consider is the caller's father is on his second marriage. The son is from the 1st, and he was not raised by the father.
The money is the husband's and second wife's. They can divide it has They please....
The son is lucky he is getting what he gets.....
Nothing about Jacob and Esau here.
I agree what you saying. If the the caller want a healthy relationship, she should split it evenly. Or treat the situation like a job. You don't talk about money. Somehow the siblings new how much the other siblings received which is a bad idea. Calling the show, tell me the caller is bragging.. Why call Dave for this type of moral question... I agree, legally you are right. If you don't want some type of drama split the money or the money should never been spoke about.
There’s a lot of assumptions built into the story anyway. These people could live 20 years, or one of them needs $1 million of end-of-life care. They’re still alive! I don’t know how the stories going to end and nobody else does either
@@rickm6076 totally agree.
My friend's mom had over 1.2 million from her late husband. She died pennyless 35 years later
What's the big deal, if they are not close to him, then that is why...
I disagree. Boundaries. No one’s business what I do with my money. I’ll give it to who I decide. I don’t have to explain that out. Doesn’t make them a coward.
You lack integrity and transparency. You seem petty as well
Totally agree. Wills and trusts should be talked about before the fact and not after the fact. Can save other court costs.
Is this the same woman who called about her mother in law bring a hoarder?! They're both Mary from Kalamazoo MI and sound the same... 🤔🤔
Really wish Dave would do more probing on these calls...
It often amazes me how *simple* these callers and their relationship’s are
I'm watching clips from eight years ago and Dave hasn't aged a bit.
I get the sense we dont really have enough of the story for it to make sense.
And that is often true with these Ramsay calls. We are getting very incomplete information. The second wife in this case would seem to be key.
Or she could have this conversation with her parents ie how come you are leaving me more money than you are leaving my brother.
I wish they had a Ramsey's community group so that people that are working on baby steps can be supportive to each other and help encourage one another to keep going through the struggle until they reach their goal. And have others to socialize with that are working towards the same financial goals.
Theres a fan made one on reddit.
my mom and aunt have torn apart our family bc all is going to one side and the other one is not getting anything - but my aunt has no remorse at all smh
This is a common international situation where the bad child gets lil or nothing. If you feel guilty then kill your guilt by sharing a part of your portion. This will help you have a better relation with your sibling.
Or the waste of space sibling gets everything and the one that made something of her life gets nothing.. Ask me how I know.
Here's one for you. My sister in law passed away. She left equal amounts to her three surviving sisters. She had two nieces and four nephews. One of the nieces lived close and although they were not that close the niece that lived nearby visited her maybe a dozen time over twenty years. She left that niece over a 100K and left the remaining nieces and nephews nothing. Here is what it did. Here legacy that had been in good standing is now crap with the left out heirs and they resent the one who got the money. So my sister in law is gone and all she left was a strain in what had been a close family. The lesson here is be careful with your inheritance. It may cause trouble in the family.
There are plenty of rational reasons someone might think uneven is right. One is if he has a potential large inheritance from the other side of his family. Another is if the mom had money before the relationship she wants to go to her child and the stepson was grown when they married and they have no real relationship. A third is if this is more about the grand child.
My mom has told me she’s leaving more money to my sister because she has a special needs child and I make significantly more than my sister does. It’s not my money to decide what to do with so I let it go because she’s doing her best.
Adult children have no particular right to anything. You don’t automatically get stuff. It happens either due to a will OR the complete absence of a will at all and you’re just next of kin.
thats why some families like the Rothschild are wealthy, and the vast majority are not. You dont leave wealth just for your kids. You do it so future generations hundreds of years in the future will have more opportunity than you did.
Agreed-. You need to honor your parents choice for what to do with their money. It's not your place to re-decide what to do with the money.
Once your parents give you money…it isn’t their money to decide anymore.
Baloney. You honor the choice by accepting the money, then you can do what you want with it. Including giving some to half-brother.
Sometimes it's not the kid's fault. The parents could just dislike their kid because they look at them as a disappointment or the kid didn't "turn out" like they wanted. Nothing the child can do would rectify the situation. Is this a fair situation then? I think not and hopefully the executor of the estate would help with a fair and impartial inheritance.
Sweetie, if you feel that guilty - do feel free to “even out” the inheritance upon your parents passing. 🤷♀️
True that
Thank you!
Terrible suggestion
@@athens31415 how do you figure?
No one should have to feel that they need to level the playing field. She should be able to take her inheritance without guilt and without feeling she’s doing something wrong if she doesn’t equally share it.
An heir has the right to refuse all or a portion of any inheritance. Like most family issues, keep your opinions to yourself and do what you feel is right when the time comes.
Families fight over estates like vultures 🙄
So many details not discussed! Maybe brother is wealthy already (20 years older) and she’s a struggling single mom. She never said that there was any animosity between brother and parents. They didn’t ask. And, by the way, why did they tell her now how much she’s getting? So they can get gratitude satisfaction? That’s just weird. After they pass, how would they find out how much each is getting? Contrary to popular movie scenes, I don’t think everyone meets at the lawyer’s office for a reading of the will. That’s silly. The attorney sends everyone involved a letter stating what you are getting. Unless the parties compare notes, no one should know what anyone is getting. And if she feels guilty about it, she can give him some more from her pile. I’m just really puzzled at these parents’ motivation.
In this case, if the money is from a life insurance policy, then the insurance company contacts the beneficiaries.
She's not a single mom, she said her husband is a couple years older than she is.
Also, the caller said she AND her daughter are getting $1M total. Maybe the biological son doesn't have children. Not uncommon for grandparents to leave money to grandkids. And I agree - so many questions and details weren't addressed.
The money may be used up in nursing homes, etc.
If you sincerely feel guilty about your inheritance, just switch your inheritance with him. Problem solved. Or just moved on and enjoy your inheritance.
Best to go on in life and make your own success
Waiting or relying on an inheritance is foolish and stressful. Live your life!
We are accountable before God with how we handle money and love each other. Just because we can "legally" doesn't silence God's judgment on our actions. Remember how the prodigal son was treated... that reflects God's love for us. Do we follow money or God?
Good point.
Be thank full for what you get.
Daughters often stay closer to their parents and care for them when they are elderly. Maybe that’s why she’s getting more money?
I’m super close with my parents. They’ve built up a nice nest egg and I tell them, spend it because ingrates will have no problem spending it! My parents have already told some siblings they’re cut out.
You seem to be working it like an expert. Thankfully you are not my sibling...
If they’re 20 years apart in age, maybe he already has wealth and she might have more years to use it. So much unknown
That’s a dumb, the brother can pass on the money to her when he passes. The parents are just petty
My aunt is doing the same for me and leaving me the house and all of accounts and my 2 brothers get a tiny life insurance each and i have no problem with makes me happy that it comes to me because i was the only to come around just to see her and called her all the time. While my brothers only cone around to ask for money so it's a rub it into their faces.
It has to do with the parents they feel like their daughter should received more because she's close to them. They are hurt in way 😔 they are doing them wrong.
If it was me I would split it in half.
This call would have much better handled with Delony. Dave isn't well equipped for this. Nor should he be.
I couldn't find the right forum but perhaps you can offer advice. Years ago, I inherited a beautiful home from my Grandma in a ritzy neighbourhood in California. I made a promise I would raise the children I never bothered to have there. However, my husband insisted that we should sell and move to a much smaller place. He says it's ridiculous for 2 people to live in a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house. I can't bring myself to sell something that has brought me so close to my grandma & I don't know how to separate. My home is worth over 2 million. We both have successful careers. I don't know if I'm ready and feel like I've betrayed my Grandma. Please advise.
You're selling a house, not your grandma.
The brother might be getting more from his mother. also, maybe the brother is already rich. Also, if you think it is unfair you can always give him some of the money when the time comes. Feel free to do what makes you sleep well at night.
Dave is always so quick to judge people and call them names
He seems much more short with people recently
Cry more
@@ClaxtonBay123 hahah
@@mmaybee4379 Maybe it's the dementia, he was just diagnosed.
@@ClaxtonBay123sounds like the truth makes you incredible emotionally immature & defensive.
They're only 70. Circumstances will change in 15-20 years.
Each family has its own reasons for decisions in the will, and there is no place for guilt over those decisions....they are doing what they think is right. My very wealthy friend has told me that she will be giving a "double share" to her only daughter and a "single share" to each of her sons. In my mind, this is not right, but not my business. She has her own rationale. And, given that the caller's parents are 70, it is not unreasonable to think that they might live another 20 years and no one really knows what their estate may look like at that time.
AND maybe they've lent the son money over the years and they've deducted it from his inheritance. Regardless, not your problem.
The caller has a big heart. But she is mixing guilt that brother isn’t getting 1/2; because she straight out says her relationship is civil not good.
The caller even said brother and parents don’t really have a relationship. If you don’t have a relationship with someone, you don’t get their money.
Also brother might be getting less, because he might be in a much better financial position than her
she feels bad because she has a good heart. if she thinks that the inheritance she receive more than enough she could give her brother what she feels good about.
If the parents are still living, they could change their wills at any time.
If you do the math it looks like the parents left all of mom’s and half of dad’s to the caller and half of dad’s to brother. That’s fair considering he’ll likely get something from his mom as well.
Keep in mind that he ywpilldt inheritance from his mom and she gets it from her mom AND dad
Hmmm, the math might not be horrible. If their inheritance is 4/3rds of a million dollars, the mom's half is 2/3rds and the dad's half is 2/3rds, and the son only inherits from his "dad" because they married when he was just about an adult, then his share would be 1/3rd. Meanwhile the son still gets an inheritance from his bio mom if there is one. I have an older sister in this situation getting the "same" as everyone else, but she also inherited from her mom, and she'll end up inheriting twice as much. Then the son doesn't have a strong relationship the parents, so they are being generous anyway. As Dave would say, it's their money.
Easy solution is not to even think about it, as if they never told her. When the time comes, take the inheritance and mind her own business. If her brother makes an issue just call him or go see him and ask him to drop any animosity. And if he can’t, well that's the way its going to be. Just move on with life .
Maybe even do something like a charitable trust for the portion of money that is more than his.
Isn't there an IRS limit on how much she can give away without being taxed?
yes, the tax man always gets his cut.
If i suspected I'd have a contested will id have a claus in it saying if someone contests it, their portion goes to someone else or burned instead.
I’d be happy to be getting anything at all much less worried about how much my sibling is getting
Don’t feel guilty. Just accept the decisions of your parents. I’m sure they’ve considered all of the options and nuances.
And no, Dave, no one is a coward here.
Maybe the bulk of the income was from her mother and he was gone during the time her parents were married. Maybe the daughter will have a bigger roll in taking care of them, he is getting property or he already got a chunk of money. She can give him a portion if she wants to.
it is possible the second wife contributed considerably to the high assets and wants her portion to go to her child (evenually). It could be that the father associates the child from the first marriage with the first wife and has less regard for him. (Men occasionally see themselves as divorced from their children when they are divorced from the mother. Some are bitter about having to pay child support and alimony and transfer that negativity onto the children from that failed marriage). Maybe the son already got a considerable amount of money or his education costs were much higher and were paid for by the father.
Maybe they are narcs and like to drive a wedge in beween siblings. Maybe the mother got a considerable part of the assets w/o contributing financially, and the father thinks his son will get a part of that as well.
If the father makes a difference of 700,000 just like that - it can create tensions (when there is no understandable reason). Her brother gets 350.000 less than her.
In many countries by default (if there is no will) the wife gets a portion and the rest is divided up to all the children. That can well include out of wedlock children. Normally that portion can be reduced but not to zero. And normally the wife has to get something (of all that the assets that were aquired during the marriage). The other spouse can forgo that (for instance a prenuptial) but in order to go beneath the default legal portion the other spouse will need a signature, it cannot be onesided.
Cutting a child out of the will can only be done in case of serious transgressions. Assault on the parents, serving a long prison sentence, ongoing addiction problems, abandoning them when they were in need of help.
And high gifts (like gifting them assets) have to be considered often many years back (so no weaseling out of having to give some minimum to each and every one of the children.
So favoritism is possible, but there are limits.
Of course the siblings can forego their inheritance, for instance when most is tied up in a company or farm. This is often signed when the parents are still alive. And the other siblings must cooperate. Normally there is some social pressure on the other heirs to be reasonable.
Does the brother have any children? If not, unlikely to start now at his age.
Maybe parents feel they also want to look out for the grandkid(s).
I am my grandparents favorite I don't feel guilty I feel proud of that fact
Girl just take the money and be happy. You dont need to be parading around how much you get to him. He wont know
The parents may have already given her brother a large amount of money that she knows nothing about. Possibly a down payment on a house twenty years ago, and the brother knows it.
Then give him your money and stop feeling guilty. Problem solved. But you don’t want to do that, you want to keep the money, and you want someone to tell you it’s ok.
Brother made parents mad... So parents are making it a financial issue.
sounds like the stepmom pushed him away, I would like to hear his side!!!
Parents can do what they want. What's the worry?
I did not feel right accepting covid money from the government so I sent it back. I have 2 brothers. I will not accept a larger inheritance than them. By law if I have to accept a larger portion then I will divide it equally on my own.
Maybe there are two insure policies on dad one for him one for you your mother has own policy that goes to you. He wasn't raised the family home and has no emotional ties to it or the things in it
Imagine what a doughnut you'd have to be to be getting 300k and be unhappy with it
Right? What an entitled, selfish life.
She didn't say he was unhappy. She said she herself felt guilty.
Also. The brother is 20yrs older which puts him in his mid 50s. Maybe he has more financial stability or has no kids to leave any extra money to... We don't know! We do know that she has a family to provide for and a closer relationship with the parents.
The way I see it is, the brother can go get the other $700k from his mother. I'm sure their father was paying alimony/spousal maintenance all the time he was growing up and was with his mother.....
This is. To something for her to burden herself at all about. No one is entitled to anyone’s inheritance, not even our parent’s assets. Often times determining where assets go after death comes down to “reaping what has been sowed”. If her brother is chapped, leave him and move on.
Easiest way to not feel guilty split the money willing with your bro regardless of the will I’m sure dad and mom will be proud this both could get an equal head start in life without ruining family reunion plus you sure as hell well look like one massive hero and gain the love and affection of your brother plus if your hardworking and diligent you can always make it in your own.😊
But here is the deal… the siblings shouldn’t get the same because the work and sacrifice is NOT the same. If the work, sacrifice and Love was not the
Same the money left should not be the same. See I have some family members that refused to help do anything at all because they said they couldn’t get away from work..but I left work and traveled 6000 miles to help out…and lost pay because of it…the sibling that didn’t help even though they lived just a short distance away made money at work and I lost money..plus there were very emotional things I had to deal with that he didn’t have to deal with..so his bank account was filling up while mine was being depleted both financially and emotionally for YEARS. So NO…he should not get equal money. Even after the deaths there was a lot of work that took me years in order to repair stuff to sell and get everything all cleaned up. but the family stands around with their hands out. I have shared for sure but Jesus..how much more??? The lazy stand around with their hands out while sacrificing absolutely Nothing.
By law, you are required to give an adopted child a bigger inheritance...You're not allowed to treat adopted kids as "inferior" to blood children.
thats only because non blood has to pay higher taxes on it.
I'm pretty sure my parents are donating the entirely of their large fortune to charity. But if they did leave to my siblings and I, I would definitely just redistribute it to my siblings who got less. No question.
If it was because they judged the sibling for something shallow, such as “that sibling is short, or less attractive so I don’t respect them equally” then sure yes.
But if it’s for a valid reason, like that sibling was spoiled, and/or had a baby with someone in a different race, and/or hates America, or they just don’t respect their family or people, THEN that’s a very valid reason IMO to deny them equal inheritance. I still wouldn’t leave them with nothing. But probably less
@@charlesg7926 Wow, Charles. “Having a baby with someone from a different race”? Be a human being and examine your heart. Don’t pass on that inheritance please. Make the world a better place.
I am so glad I was left nothing.
Take a killer vacation and send him a postcard.
Simple solution. Give some to him.
This. Guilty gone. She doesn’t want to be honest about it tho that’s why she is guilty.
I thought it was my sister calling u. Thank god.
There are two different wealth streams possibly in play and she seems to know little about her brothers mother and or if how much front loaded money the brother received. It should also be factored how much money is the result of her adoptive mothers contribution. You guys get hard questions sometimes. It's why I like watching.
Excellent point. they could be giving her the taxable Ira accounts and him the tax free accounts are assets
I wonder if they are also factoring in for their grandchild with that sum.
If you are not comfortable with the money you will get, don’t worry, I am accepting donations.
He's getting $300K? I'd be fine with that.
I'd rather I get nothing and my Parents spend it on themselves.
Their money. They can give it to whoever they want. Anyone who doesn't accept that isn't worth arguing with.
Yes they can give to whoever they want. They can donate it to Putin for all they care. Parents are petty, especially if they don’t tell their other son the truth.
This scenario changes if the dad passes before step-mother. Step-mother can call an audible and leave everything to Mary.
= Blended family problems!
Kinda wish that Dave turned the focus managing instant wealth through an inheritance.
My mum cut my brother out of her Will recently and wrote to me asking if I would like to be disinherited also. I ignored her. She has severe mental health problems and has really damaged my brother and my life. If she leaves me anything, I will instantly share it with my brother - I will not have her control our relationship and harm our closeness, either dead or alive. I am sick of game-playing Boomer parents who have money to leave and use it to control and humiliate their children. Boomers are an awful generation.
Maybe they think you will do more for them later on. In 10 to 20 years whos to know what will be there
She won’t get much from her brother’s mom.
How we know if his mom even has anything?
I don't understand why this is a problem. You're getting an I nheritance. So is he. You're getting more. So what?