How Do I Handle A Messy Inheritance?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ก.ย. 2022
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My aunt passed away, and I inherited part of her portfolio and $2m in cash savings. I'm 28 years old, and everyone always tells me to invest. So, what stocks are excellent long-term investments? My sole big plan is to use my gains to buy a house in five years.
Recall the same dilemma when my parents passed and was just a regular working stiff.
With that much you either go to Fisher, Wells Fargo, etc.. and get a financial advisor. Or get an account at E*Trade, Schwab or such and learn. Whichever way you go you have to realize you just got a second job managing that money.
Also you are looking for reliable stocks and reliable bonds. Compound interest and steady growth. When offered a ‘deal’ run like the wind. All the best.
Honestly just hired vanguard as an advisor. If you are in the comment section of TH-cam asking stock tips you might not have money for a house in five years
@@ApBurger3532 Same, I just use TH-cam for research purposes, I run all my major investment through an investment adviser, the market is just too unstable to handle things on your own. I have consistently restructure and diversify my portfolio/expenses and I’ve made over $3million in gains in close to decade of having one
@@ApBurger3532 Same, I just use TH-cam for research purposes, I run all my major investment through an investment adviser, the market is just too unstable to handle things on your own. I have consistently restructure and diversify my portfolio/expenses and I’ve made over $3million in gains in close to decade of having one
@@ApBurger3532 Same, I just use TH-cam for research purposes, I run all my major investment through an investment adviser, the market is just too unstable to handle things on your own. I have consistently restructure and diversify my portfolio/expenses and I’ve made over $3million in gains in close to decade of having one
😔😔everybody start coming out the woods when money is involved.
It’s horrible my family fought over a few grand… sad
it really is sad how people are nowadays... ^^^^
@@briancallahan5673 They will fight over 20 bucks! And some will kill for less than that!
@@cb9d90 When it comes to money, anything goes!
lowlife
The uncle went to the trouble of writing not just a will, but a trust too. He obviously knew who he wanted to include and who he wanted to exclude. He was counting on the caller to follow his wishes.
BINGO - his job is to execute the wishes of the Uncle....period. This Uncle KNEW what he wanted.....and made is QUITE clear...LEGALLY.
Most wills families start fighting over what they deserve & who gets what. 😔
Yeah clearly he wasn't very fond of these other family members. I mean for someone to demand $100k in such a nasty way 🤦♂️
I'm so glad this guy met his uncle before he passed, he obviously was a sweet kind hearted guy, and got to have a deep connection with his nephew. I think they're both lucky having known each other!
Halfbrother and Mother are not entitled.
We added a statement in our wills that if anyone, for any reason, contests the will, they are immediately and forever exempt from any proceeds. This was suggested by our trust attorney.
Good news... Hopefully should keep your heirs in line. Bad News... Just another lawyer ploy to increase their chances of further litigation by adding another layer.
That’s actually really dumb because there are often legitimate reasons to contest the execution of a will. For example if the executor does something that goes against your intentions then it would be valid to challenge it. Or if there is an ambiguity in your will and it’s interpreted against your intentions then it would be valid to challenge.
Why would you disinherit someone who challenges something that you would agree with if you were alive?
Kevin, your attorney just opened the door for further litigation which obviously puts more money in his pocket. Think about it.
Not sure this is legally binding but may scare some people from contesting.
Same here
I was a nurse and it was awful to see familycoming out of the woods when someone got really sick..but had never ever visited or even sent a card
Very true what you say, I saw this hundreds and hundreds of times working in the nursing home for 27 years.
Saw the same when I worked as a hospice social worker.
Money makes greedy, mean people greedier and meaner.
It doesn't matter what the family says or want. Everything is in the will.
As Joe Stalin would say, it doesn't matter who writes the will, it's who reads it.
@Jimmy, when money is involved count on the family to contest the will. Learn something please.
Well, sometimes it doesn't, in my country, a will can be contested, and there are other laws that take precedence over a will, when my father died , his 2nd wife basically said she was going to take us to court to get ownership of the house my father left us and this is quite legal, there are provisions in the legal system for spouses, dependants to make a claim on the estate which overrule what is written in the will, so sometimes a will can be worthless unfortunately..... speaking from personal experience
Wills are useless. My dad had a second marriage. When he passed his second wife's kids moved their mom to a different state and changed their will. We were told wills vary from state to state. We lost my dad's money to her nasty kids who couldn't wait to get his money.
@@karenhardie1132 Same for prenups
"Go out to the graveyard and yell at the tombstone!!"🤣🤣🤣
Careful, they might yell back atcha!😊
😂😂😂
“These two are gonna be goobs because they’re goobs.” There’s actually a lot of wisdom in that.
😂😂😂 Yep
It's only messy in terms of the attempted guilt.
But it's very straightforward. You're the executor of the will and you have a moral obligation to carry out his wishes and not disrespect his memory by dishonoring his wishes.
Everyone else can go to kick rocks. It's what he wanted with his money so that's what you're doing. It was his choice not yours
More than moral obligation.. it’s a legal obligation!!
There is a legal will naming him as the beneficiary… end of!
Unless any debts ( liens ). If not, then end of story.
A trust is way more powerful than a will.
Yes and if only had a will, would have to go through probate.
John was getting ready to go to back to this guy's childhood but the caller was like " Nope."
He is always grasping at these nonexistent psychological straws.
But are you safe?! 😅
I was glad the guy spoke up and made it very clear that John was on the wrong train track.
Solid advice! I’m just the executor and can’t do anything about it
I am dealing with a situation like this right now. My family is jealous that my aunt left her house to me. My siblings are upset about it and keep making snide remarks. My aunt hasn't even passed yet.
I'm sorry. It's hard because they are greedy. Why do they even know about it? None of their business
Don't let them alienate her to changing her wishes.
I liked what someone said. If they contest the will they will get nothing. Let aunt know she may put something similar in her will
Do not let these people upset you. Just be a kind person and take the home when it comes to you. I am so sorry you are in this situation.
😮
Dr D was trying to grasp at straws that weren’t there. Per usual. And the caller shut him down instantly. That was great to watch
He’s the most useless and egotistical personality. I wish they would get rid of him.
So glad I'm not the only one who caught this. It was hilarious. I generally don't mind John introducing the psychological element if the caller volunteers that information first but when he just assumes something and then makes it about that (or tries to) it's aggravating.
Psychologists always do that
Both are too emotional to give sound professional advice. Which generally distracts them from getting to the issues.. The caller who was stressed because of the situation had a better grip on solving his concerns.
@@SW-ty8zq So did you have some issues with a therapist? 😂
Your uncle's will is very clear. Obey it
As the estate executor,I'd tell them to take a hike. Besides,as the executor,legally you can't change anything in the will. Where's there's a will,there's a greedy relative.
Travel agents for guilt trips. yes! Love that line.
Inheritance money can cause a lot of upheaval in a family.
Always does!
This is why inheritance is too glorified. Most of the time it's a mess and destroys trust when greedy.
Where is it messy ? Your uncle legally appointed you and your wife . Your uncle told you his thoughts and opinions on others . You and your wife have been entrusted to carry out his wishes .
It’s always more difficult when you are in the situation
@@augustusplays7896 Currently in the situation. I have learned to be like a horse with blinders . I only see straight ahead. Not rude but firm .
Exactly..he should do what his uncle requested without question or bias. Simply respect his wishes...Period!
It’s not good content for the Ramsey show😂
Walk away singing:
I got along fine without you and I’ll get along fine without you now 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
Contacting absent family members, regardless of the reason for their absence, is a 50/50 gamble. It could end up being the best life decision you have ever made, or the worst.
You will find out more about your family in the first month after the death of a loved one than the previous 30-40 years. Sad, but true.
In cases such as this, where the will is going to be contentious, folks really need to name their attorney as the executor. Having to deal with guilt trips and bickering with relatives is not a good situation to be in during an emotional time such as the death of a loved one. A few thousand dollars out of the estate to an attorney is money well spent in these cases.
That's the best advice here! Every time, I've had a family member appointed the executor of a will emotions ALWAYS get involved.
Dave
Trying to tell him to use reason with a crazy lady.
LoL
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LOL Ive learned to see these setup threads coming from a mile away...
My Mom and her Cousin was left a small fortune by their Grammy - The Cousin was determined to fight for all of "Grammy"s money & land, and hired an attorney - - Evidently there was no executor, or none appointed . . The lawyers "stole" every penny of the inheritence, and the Cousin was okay with that - she just didn't want my Mom to have anything. . . True colors shine brightest in the bank . .
"These two goobs are just gonna be goobs!" 😆
I'm so glad our little family all got along. When my grandmother died she had two surviving children, both married. She wasn't rich but she did have a pretty healthy bank account and some land. There were no issues, no drama.
Yep, David is correct to my way of thinking. Execute the will as it exists. And any gifts you make is on you. In my opinion, wrong.
If there is a trust, the executor MUST do what’s in the trust. No making up rules
An executor can refuse and a third party not related such as legal person or trust company can be appointed.
Of course they can decline to be trustee (executor is for the will) but if hs is the trustee be must follow the trust
Takers will try to take everything they can get their hands on and will use warped logic to justify their actions. The will/trust say it all.
I would of laughed when the half brother said to send him $100k immigrants 🤣
Needed this. Thank you sir.
His Uncle purposely laid out the Law of his Estate. Didn't include his sister & the other nephew. Sounds like when the Uncle was living his sister & that other nephew never treated him well. " The wicked earns deceptive wages, but one who sows righteousness gets a sure reward. "
My uncle has told me he is only including me and two of my first cousins in his will as far as nieces and nephews. He has a daughter (son died). I don’t think there will be any hard feelings about her inheritance but there will likely be towards us three cousins. He said he did it because he feels like he knows us more and has more of a relationship with us. When my paternal grandmother died she only left money for myself and one other cousin as far as grandchildren. We were the older grandchildren who lived relatively near her.
I wish I would of seen this video before my mom passed away .I would of saved myself a lot of money.
At first I thought Mike was going to say that his twin brother wanted some of the money, and that made me feel very sad. Glad that's not an issue. Still, it must be a very challenging situation to be in. It sounds like both twins were very lucky they were given up for adoption.
"Goobs gonna goob"
- Dave Ramsey
This video has valuable information about executors of wills!
Great Content 💯
I will never understand why people don’t tell other people they made them executors of their estate before they die!
Because it can change.
@@elenak2963 what? How does that make sense?
I think it is often because they want to know the real intentions of the person and if you name them the executor they start acting differently.
@@elenak2963 Exactly!!!!!
Also a really good realtor (like a Ramsey Trusted one) would guide you and tell you what is best for the condo. Having a rental property is great, but you have get a decent return or it may be better investing the money. They would be able to tell you, sell as-is, rent as-is, or fix up and sell or rent. My gut feeling is that “fire-selling” the property is not the best solution and fixing it up, if you are handy snd have some good trustworthy contractors may be the way to go.
This is an example of why as an adopted child I’ve never even been slightly tempted to meet my biological family.
Yet this adopted child reached out to his biological family and got some cash moneyyy.
@@mikeyj1983It may not be worth the headache
There's some truth to that. In life u take chances. And he got lucky. I met a few of my bio family on my birth dad side and some are lovely and I was warned about others. I took heed to that warning and have not regretted it.
At 48 I discovered some of my birth family in 2022. Parents are deceased but I've met one aunt and a cousin. Talked to several more including my half brother. As was said it's a chance. I wanted to learn medical history and anything else is a bonus.
@@JustBree716 love this. I'm in a similar position now and I found some more receptive than others but it's their choice too
4:11 that's the answer!!👏👏👏
Lol Dave! Go yell at the tombstone! good one!
It's looking like my nephew is gonna get everything and I really hope he doesn't share with the rest of the family. Final wishes should be respected and I hope it worked out for the dude.
It's always so awkward and funny when John tries to shoe horn a psychological element that's not there. And then it's not part of the equation at all. Like not everything has to have that psychoanalysis thing.
Yeah, the caller is like, NO
@@binkle1757 lol.
And I think the thing that bugs me about how John goes about these things is that he doesn't simply ask the caller if that's what's on their mind, he just sort of like assumes it to be true and then starts giving advice off of that without even confirming whether or not that is even the problem.
But it was also funny how quickly John abandoned that.
Yeah I know, "I'm hearing that you hate your mother, you wish you weren't married, you have taken on too much of a house payment, and you might be a closet homosexual from the tone of your voice". He really will be reaching
@@Vub.he give an either or option, the first option isn’t it and that was the end of it.
Lol he’s brought onto the show purely for the psychological perspective of these things. But he’s solid on his set show. But it isn’t always the best fit here.
Why does Dr. JD always insist in speaking over the guest when they try explain
To your question about what you should do with the condo, if it’s in your budget and ability, I would fix it up a little and rent it. Extra income is always welcome.
This guy should count his blessings that his mother was smart enough to surrender him at birth.
Saw this with my mom's parents. Once they died, my aunt (Mom's sister) basically raided everything they had. A few years prior they were too poor to help my parents get their father a decent car but had no issues helping themselves to the car my parents got them even though ny father drove a total piece of junk. Oddly they always had a nice new Lincoln car.
Bravo!
6:57 yup exactly
My grandfather knew how his youngest son was.. so he put it in the will/trust that if anyone tries to take the trust to court to dispute it said person shall then only receive $1 and forfeits anything else 😂 I put it in mine too!
Blame the will and take a trip to the bank... Your uncle wanted you to have it and it's legally and rightfully yours.
I thought he was going to say his disinterested twin wanted half. He never did specify whether his twin was adopted along with him. In any event, the twin isn’t relevant to the situation. Sounds like he got lucky being adopted away from the birth mother. Sad. My cousin adopted a baby. The woman already had a baby, and her teenage daughter had a baby at the same time she had this one, in the same hospital. She had her other kids with her in the room ordering meals, and milked all the hospital days she could. She balked at signing the paperwork in order to fleece them for every cent she could. Then she tried to steal their car seat. 🗑
My dad’s funeral is today. Pop was never in my life, no support, no child support, he died at 49. No inheritance. Thanks pop.
@Lil TRA here’s a news flash….THERE WAS CHILD SUPPORT!! You just never saw a penny of it because your mother blew it all on herself living her best life. That’s also why you have no inheritance either from your dad because the corrupt family courts left him permanently crippled financially. Sorry that you were lied to all of these years but that’s most likely what happened. My condolences on your loss but please be assured that your Father, although he was never present in your life wanted to be in many ways. The corrupt family court system was set up to make sure that would never happen except for stealing his money. Your Father is free now from indentured servitude and he is at peace now.
My deepest condolences.
Goobs!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Only the condo and the contents are his the car and money are intended for the caregiver that part should be dealt with first so that part of the problem is solved. Sell it all endless you plan on living there. It's just a albatross if you keep it.
this isnt messy what so ever. its cut and dry. even legally. hes just feeling guilt tripped
He didn’t want them to have it. And legally made this clear. I do recommend selling the condo, but it’s your money.
A will and a trust (revocable or irrevocable) are NOT the same! They are treated very differently in the eyes of the law! Do not confuse them.
Respect your sweet uncles wishes God rest his soul. Period. These family members are selfish.
For some reason, vultures tend to forget that everyone dies. Be careful how you treat the living.
5:50 exactly what I am going through but with my sister smh
You are the successor trustee and it is your responsibility to execute the trust as it is written! A trust can not be contested and does not go through probate! You mentioned a will, did you misspeak? The trust rules in all cases. BTW, when signing any documents for the trust you must put TTEE after you signature to identify your role as the successor trustee. Very important!
it is still possible to contest a trust.
I think what you are also missing here is he has a legal obligation to execute the will. Sharing any of it would go against what the uncle wanted and therefore he would be in breech if a moral obligation to his uncle. IE don’t share keep all the money, it’s what your Uncle would have wanted.
If theres a will they cant even file a law suit
Not so, wills are contested all the time.
When a parent remarries, the original children will likely end up with practically nothing.
No not if a well done will is done no one has to leave everything to their spouse
Goobs gonna goob
This is why lawyers kill it in Southern Cali.
And everywhere else in the dump that is the USA
And Florida
YOU DO NOT make others executors to youR will unless they agree and have a copy of said will
I'm dealing with this issue right now, my father lent my uncle an apartment in my hometown of Algiers, then my uncle left to Canada with his wife, instead of returning the apartment back to my dad, his wife put her sister and husband there, my father didn't like it but didn't want to ruin the relationship, so he didn't ask for it back, and they've been there for 25 years, after my father died, I inherited the apartment, and I'm trying to get it back in an amicable manner, but my uncle ignored my messages, and calls. I'm now having to resort to a lawyer in order to get them out. This will ruin my relationship with my uncle, cousins, wife, and probably other family members. Even though I'm only asking for what is rightfully mine, as the title has been transfered to me. It's heartbreaking but I have to do what I have to do. 💔Thoughts/ Comments?
Just do your job, I feel so sympathetic, I so understand. Get it done and leave them in the past.
Haha, John was way off on his comment about this guy wanting a relationship with his mom. He needs to listen better and longer. They sometimes don’t get the whole story.
6:30 exactly what im going through
If there is money involved, everyone wants it.
This man needs to do exactly what his uncle wanted. How can he NOT?
No wonder his twin wants nothing to do with them.
It’s been a year since this video came out. I wonder how this played out for him.
The moral of the story
If you’re adopted and have a good family, don’t go looking for your bio
As long as there are lawyers, there will be a mess.
Wow these people are evil 👿 sounds like they just want his stuff and the didn’t even have a relationship involved with the uncle.
Yup, the love for money wins again
Ur the trustee go by the trust instructions.
Just keep the entire estate. It was your Uncle's will for you to have everything.
People can leave such a mess for their family when they choose to delegate their assets by will to survivors unevenly. Regardless of how responsible the recipients are, it just leaves a mess for the recipients receiving more than another that can cause more grief than a person can endure in a family. Money and assets are just that. They are worthless to the person that accumulated the assets after they are gone. I have a story that can go on for quite a while about what I witnessed in my wife's family that not only tore the family apart but ended in the stressful death of three sisters. My wife was one of them. Money and assets are just so useless after we are gone. To maintain our lives in our golden years, yes, but after we are gone. they are useless. Don't leave a legacy of uneven love to your children! Thanks.
I live in Sweden. You cannot legally disinherit your children. You can give it away while you’re alive but after your death, they are entitled at least 50%.
Wow! Even if the children had nothing to do with their parents?
About the same in Norway. Here the children are entitled to 2/3.
The will is the legal document. Pretty simple.
It's only messy in that the people specifically excluded want money they can't have.
Have a lawyer draw up a letter telling them that they were specifically excluded from the will and if they try to sue, they get to pay all court costs plus penalties for harassment.
Then go 100% No Contact with the leaches.
Twins should never be split up adopted out to separate families. This blood uncle obviously didn't like what his sister did by giving her twin boys out to be adopted by 2 separate families, - he probably observed much more outrageous behavior. This caller is lucky to have reconnected with his blood uncle and should carry out his uncle's wishes. I am an adoptee due to my blood father deserting my mother. I have met paternal blood relatives who have bad feelings toward the way my blood father left my blood pregnant mother. Please honor the wishes of your real blood uncle
How fortunate that he was raised by quality adoptive parents versus his birth mother. He mentioned that she had violated many boundaries with him. So she is a user of anyone, even the son whom she gave up as a baby, which is despicable. I would further advise the young man to get this sorry bunch out of his life. They are not his family!
True - his twin had the right instinct - NOT INTERESTED.
I feel sorry for him... the image he had about the birth mother and 1/2 brother came crashing down.... move on and stay away from them both. It's going to hurt but better in the long run
Hey Dave! My wife is spending my patrilineal inheritance on her ex-husband. Considering we have a 50/50 egalitarian relationship, how do I exert my authority when I definitionally have none?
You gave her access to the inheritance? How and why?
Get some courage.
whats your income? beans and rice.
Sorry folks, the messy part is your expectations of his last wishes.
I have no say in my brother’s affairs unless he assigns such responsibility to me. If he assigns that right and responsibility to another, it is absolutely none of my business even if he buys drinks drinks with his money.
Why are you calling Dave and not a lawyer ? Would hate someone wasting my estate after I’m gone, brusters millions style.
Any woman who would allow her twin boys to be separated and adopted separately is a "goob".
Some people must be loved at arms length.
You should say how to handle No inheritance
Easy one. Tell the distant family that wanted nothing to do with him to go get bent , pound sand and then walk away from them.