I needed this. He exhibits at least 5 of these traits. God help me to be strong and never go back to my husband unless he has a complete overhaul which would be a true miracle.
unguided728 because your ex being in a rebound could be a good thing for you. Trying so hard to forget about you that they have to settle for the first one that comes around. It may help you ex realize what they had with you.
This one is one of my favorites. It’s a great reminder and eye opener to reality. Not all men/women are healthy people capable of being in a worthwhile lasting relationship. Great insight. Thank you.
If someone here have the same situation discussed by the coaches, please keep on watching the videos for personal development. You don't need anyone to be happy. You just have to work on yourself guys. This channel discusses topics on improving you and the elements affecting relationships rather than focusing on tricking your ex to get back. I love this channel. 3mos NC and counting.
I realised after only 1 month, my ex has their own issues to deal with.. they were never happy with anything, theh hope to inflict pain of abandonment & thrive off the power because they suffered in the past & their most likely their childhood. it’s sad but maybe some of you may relate and it could help clarify why they seemed so careless walking away. Best to stop doubting yourself, I did. things happy when you least expect them 👍🏼
Hi couch Craig I watched this video and I was wondering do you talk about safe sex there is one thing that she is seeing someone else and trying to get her back on what level do we accept if she was being safe,aids and STDs is still lurking out there and my ex that might have gotten rape at 15 and had a baby now she is 44 and her daughter is 29 she enjoys unprotected sex she has that thing inside her that she won't get pregnant but where do we draw the line.
I know absence make the heart grow founder. It's best to remember the good and bad and learn from it. Don't create a new person that is only an ideal. Like Person A" is the old person, and person B" is your fantasy (the ideal). Don't recreate a false image of a person that doesn't exist. Instead, let yourself grow and move on. You don't really miss person A". Remember familiarity isn't always the healthiest choice. Compatibility is key in relationship. After a break-up- As time progresses you can now see clearly. Relationships are a Bonus!! Not a necessity. Remember, being close to someone is not restricted to one person. Again, don't stop yourself from growing. Don't give up on love it's out their - you will find it when you are ready.
My husband walked out on me a year ago, and I used to put him on a pedestal. You’re videos help me SO much. I’ve been getting help with a local therapist as well. My husband has been making so many childish decisions and can’t seeem to grow up. It’s taken me near a year to realise I’m wasting my time. Now I’m taking serious steps to move forward no matter how difficult it is. I value myself enjoy that I will never ask for someone to stay with me and I’m amazing person and they can’t see it, then CYA!
My girlfriend walked out on me a year ago too. I’ve done the same thing and put her on a pedestal. Very much struggling with the situation. I should move on, but she was my best friend and I’m very attached to her. I can’t seem to get over her.
Is he going through a mid life crisis? Mine left me over menopause, rehashed solved issues and even twisted them. I found out she's dating a 22 year old kid and she's 38. She recently accused me of abuse but took the post down and it contained a bunch of lies and childish things. She thought me playing a little prank like hiding in the corner laughing at her playing hide and seek with our daughter was "abuse".
@@Thiago_Alves_Souza that is almost similar to what happened to me, my exgf rehashed old issues and broke up with me, 3 weeks later I find that she's with someone else, signs point to she might have been with someone else during the last month of our relationship * (perhaps even longer for all i know). It upset me dearly and i told her off telling her to erase my number and never message me again, she makes it sound as if she's a victim of how I treated her even though she put me through some of the worst things a person could be subjected to emotionally with her mental illness.
The main and the biggest reason for most of BREAKUPS is that we dont own the 50/50 policy , we just keep blaming each other and getting only one part to have all the responsibilities for the break up .
Honestly I don't like the term 50/50 when it comes to a relationship. As a good Pastoral friend once told me, "a relationship has to be 100/100, both people giving their all, or it'll never work out. The term 50/50 can lead some to believe that they can halfass their part in the relationship and that's not the case"
My boyfriend just ended it. He suffers from bipolar and self medicates with alcohol. This video helped me see that although I miss him, I need to keep my distance until he can help himself. Thank you for addressing this, it’s been very difficult to let go of the love I have for him.
My ex hid his addiction to porn. When I found out about it, he blamed me for all the problems we were having. No no no! I’m glad I broke up, I’m glad it’s over, I’m glad we’re not back together. I watch your videos because I’m learning a lot about what to not do.
I just realized that rewatching a video helps me be more conscious of the information it contains. I think I am wasting time trying to get my ex back. I feel so sad 🤦🏻♀️😭
That’s what my ex said. You’re the reason we aren’t together. I believe we both had a part In it. He still to this day will not apologize for his part and I’ve apologized a hundred times I bet. Just never gonna work with that outlook.
My ex used to blame me for everything, he broke up with me. Most of the times I was just defending myself from him, I miss him sometimes but he made me favor.
Jacqueline López Zeledón My ex did the same thing to me. After almost two years I came to the realization that he did me a huge favor. I miss him but only the person I thought he was in the beginning of our relationship. I saw his true character after the fog cleared and I thank god he saved me from more years of hurt.
I had a coworker do this- she would yell at me, belittle me, treat me like I was incapable of doing my job- then she cornered me one day and told me everything was my fault and I was the one that hated her and she never hated me. I told her I was over this situation and didnt return to the job- I had tried to communicate with my management and they were not able to do anything- so I will be the one that makes sure my boundaries are respected.
You know, I'm glad I listened to this. Cause it helped me realize that the person I've been chasing after for years is more toxic to me than I initially wanted to admit. I still love her, and I want us to be together but at the same time, I'm slowly (fighting tooth and nail the whole way) coming to the conclusion that I have to put myself first, otherwise I'm going to continue in the cycle of abuse that I've been in since a young age.
I had been wasting my time as soon as i got with him... and the biggest mistake i made was marrying him... i was the best thing that happened to him so if i never see him again it wouldnt bother me
THANK YOU! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear - after calmly and kindly ending it with a guy who misrepresented his relationship with another woman...and had no intentions of ending it with her. After I calmly explained why it was over, and wished him the best, he tried to guilt trip me for "cutting him out of my life."...even 2 weeks later! He was my best friend and romantic partner/dream guy for 5 months, so it's been shocking and painful; but I've kept healthy boundaries (no contact)...mostly because INSTEAD of fixing the problem, he got mean and criticized me for leaving. He was never mean before. Your video is SO RIGHT! I know I did the right thing, but they try to make you second guess yourself and feel guilty! ("you must be so damaged and hurt to cut me out of your life" etc). Thank you for being the voice of sanity and wisdom. PLEASE make more videos for the "dumper" who's been hurt and HAD to end it. I could hug you both!
All these ones are real deal breakers. All of them can cause so much pain and may cause trauma. Never underestimate the issues that someone can cause you.
But is the person who says "it's your fault the relationship went bad" actually wrong to say it if the other person did everything they could to damage the relationship? Everything from drug addiction, withdrawing emotionally and physically, cutting all communication, passive aggressive behaviours, etc etc. I get that in relationships that no one is perfect and has their own faults but sometimes I think saying "you're at fault here" isn't unreasonable. I've certainly accepted responsibility for my other mess ups so I'm not one to shirk blame onto others undeservedly.
hi craig do you think you can make a video of men and their feelings after the breakup does “feelings change like the clouds in the sky” apply to them especially when they dumped you
My ex is an alcoholic, and is a mean one when hes on a role. He would be nice, then say the meanest things a minute later. (Horrible mood swings) I learned what to say to him to get him back to his good mood swing. I found myself EXHAUSTED being with him....he was wonderful sober
My bpd girlfriend told me she was going out to sell her body if I didn't give her money. I gave her the money and, then blocked her. She still haven't called . I don't think she will
So... she broke up... I begged and pleaded... did all sorts of stupidity... then came across your videos... went no contact. But she contacted me after a week... we met had a good time... then again no contact... then after 10 days she wished me on my birthday, I asked her out for lunch she said yes but cancelled later ... she was actually sick and apologized for canceling... said she’ll see me once she’s okay but she didn’t so I contacted her... i was going through our old messages on hike and I knew she had uninstalled it... so I texted baby please come back... later on I ran into her and she told ,e she received it via text message and her behavior changed... a few days later I asked about the status of my birthday lunch and she said that’s not happening because she doesn’t want to... and I said okay I won’t bother you... let me know when you’re ready... went no contact again.. and today she blocked me on what’s app and Idk where else... I did nothing... please help
I'd highly suggest a personality video! The anxious/avoidant dance is very reminiscent of the ENFP/ISTJ relationships or any similar combos. Attachments and personality types go hand-in-hand. It is one of the few things aside from coach Craig's videos that gave me clarity and closure that my avoidance ISTJ never gave me and probably never will give me.
What about with children involved? How do you know exactly? Like in my instance, we were together almost 7 years... she's talking to me still(after 2 weeks) of leaving/splitting. We talk almost nighty about personal things we overlooked... I Skype the kids... We text one another but give enough space to reminisce on previous discussions, experiences, memories and realizations... But... She's passive on certain phases, kinda short still, wants to dwell on the past issues... But will laugh amd say she loves me... Im juat confised but blessed to be fortunate enough to be in the middle ,working on it
I liked the way you explained not only the undesirable issue, but the continual impact. The balance of power problem can be explored even more. For me that's difficult. SO GOOD. THANKS 🤗
I am going to listen to this one everyday. It's 100% , everything that I'm dealing with.. he has said everything that you two have just said. It's like you both were here through the entire ordeal, i had with him. . Now, i need to hear one that talks about what to do now, after this and how to continue on the right track. Entiat
My exgf suffered from severe mental health issues, i pushed her to seek help, she started seeing a therapist and get on medication and she got so much better, our relationship improved or so i thought, she ends up breaking up with me saying that I was the issue because I was controlling and had jelousy issues, turns out she was seeing someone else and rehashed old problems that I thought I worked past a year ago, i found this out 3 weeks after she broke up with me. Even when we communicated for a day before I found all this out ( 3 weeks after the breakup ) she stated how depressed she was and that she cut her neck so they had to take her off a certain medication and prescribed her something different, I asked her if she was still seeing her therapist and she replied with no, i told her to speak to her family so they can get her the help again but this was all the day before i found out she was seeing someone. I wasnt the best bf in the world but lord knows I tried so hard for her and everything i could for her, i could have been a little more patient with her in the end but I still dont feel like i did anything wrong to her, I always tried to stop any arguments that we would have and would rather just walk away than sit there and argue, most arguments seemed like a delusion coming from her, she always thought I was cheating on her and would bring up past relationships that i was in holding them against me and i was never even a womanizer! Anyway, when she told me " I don't want to be with you anymore, there is someone else. " I couldn't believe it, years of us being together working through our problems and getting her the support that she needed, i stuck by her side even when she would get hysterical at me but she threw it all away and I dont think the new person she is with will EVER go through what I went through with her. I felt so used and betrayed, i ended up telling her that she was a liar, cheater and manipulator and i was glad that we broke up because i finally got to see the real person that she is. I dont think she'll ever see the sacrifices that I made for her or appreciate how much i progressed in my life for us to live together. I wish i could have handled the situation better but the reality is i was emotionally distraught, this was the woman I was going to propose to on Valentine's Day and spend the rest of my life with. I told her never to message me again, the next day she messages my sisters asking if I was ok. I told them not to reply. I really hate to say it but i am bitter and upset towards her but I am slowly getting better day by day. Im now even seeing a therapist which ive never done before and it's helped me out tremendously. Anyway, Im just sharing this to see if it helps anyone and because it helps me get everything out. Good luck guys and always remember there is hope after a breakup.
same exact story accept i had purposed but lost the ring a year and a half after ...that would be about 5 months ago..was just discarded a week ago after no contact for 3 months...! Crazy rollercoaster ride ..!
Fortunately & Unfortunately 1 major one and almost all of the small ones apply to my situation. If any of these apply to you please don’t go back. Think of it this way if you could get back together then this person could be tied to you for life. Is this the life you want to live ?
My ex screw up while we were trying to have time a part to fix oír problems, well... After the screw up I was extremely hurt, and he did the no contact for a few wks, which for me made it worse, so when he tried to reach out again, I had way too resented thinking abt a relationship with him, but when I thought abt friendship with him, I was ok. He recently told me that, he followed ur method of no contact, and avoid pressuring me into go back with him. I was like wtf!! I wanted at first to fight for it, to go through some of my pain, so I assumed he didn't care at all, and I moved on, I saw it as ohhh well, it wasn't meant to be anyways, he didn't even care abt what I went through. So the no contact rule doesn't work like magic in all the cases specially if they screwed up.
@@Moonlight.Melon.Mounter we talked about having some time apart 3 days before going camping with friends, we went camping together and I put my daughter to bed, he states Talking on the campfire with a new girl in the group, i was and heard how he was playing the victim to her, I could hear from my rent it was abt 10 ft apart, a saw him walking her to her tent, and they kissed, at that point I stepted out and confronted him. I was sure we were going to be back together, then I understood why he was so jealous and checked on me so much( Which is the reason we broke up) it was because he knew he knew it could happen (the cheating)Because it was on his mind all the time.
Hell yeah I am wasting my time I was nothing but a rebound. She even told me in the end the I was nothing but a rebound to her. But I got attached and really liked her and wanted her.
I AM actually "relieved" having this information! NOW I can get real and close the deal! My ex, who dumped me, is a FULL BLOWN RAGING ALCOHOLIC! It's been hell for me in that relationship too! Her answer; "you just love the alcoholic". MY response; no, YOU stop drinking and get help with YOUR problem!
Craig… hold up hold up, " Avoid and Attachment Style"?? What is this you speak of? Please do tell, and quite possibly do a video on it? I've watched quite a few videos now, and I will reiterate what others have said.. Your videos do pull us through, especially during the quarantine time we are in now 04/08/2020 They shed alot of light when your in the dark searching for answers. Your video's are inspiring, and give us guidance for a life changing event, such as a break up.. Or shall I say, how you can make a break up, into a life changing event and come out better! Thank you Craig, for what you do. I think I speak for everybody when I say... we appreciate you. Best Wishes.
my ex is on this list, always manipulative and wishy washy, she left me three times, she likes me then she doesnt, she blocks me then unblocks me then blocks me,talks to me then wants nothing to do with me not healthy she has issues.i need to let her be if she wants me she knows where i am, its very hard cause we work together, i feel like it was my but all my friends and family say she is crazy
gmanhatesu same exact thing has happened to me with an ex he left 3 times and he would like be so in love with me always contact me call and see me and then all of a sudden he would lash out of nowhere or just ghost me lol after the 3rd time I gave up.
Do you think that my bf of two years says to me that the fact that he's never changed his "single" status on FB or ever allowed a tagged picture of us on his social media and him saying "you're reading too much into it" is THIS manipulation??
It’s called “pocketing” a relationship. He has other people he’s interested in who he doesn’t want to “turn off” by posting a woman he isn’t sure he wants to commit to.
Coach, I’m in Tampa. Would either of you be willing to do one on one session? I would very much enjoy not only growing and learning from you but also being able to shake your hand bc I definitely believe you could dissect my situation in fifteen minutes of me explaining exactly what all happened. Best of all I would like to know where I went wrong and how I can improve myself regardless if she comes back or not. Best of all and most important if I should accept her back or not if ever she realizes how much I do love her. Looking forward to working with y’all soon!! It’s hard when you get hurt by anyone that you give your heart and soul too. Can make a man do crazy things and I don’t like those feelings or thoughts. 💔
My ex was addicted to video games this is what ended our relationship he would put gaming before not only me but our child he was never around for anything important because he would be gaming or sleeping I can't wait until my heart heals from this been about 5 months
You left a guy for playing video games? Not cheating or beating on you. No abusive behavior or serious addiction. You left him for playing video games? Was he a decent guy at least?
At least if you know that your husband passed away, you know that he is dead, but in my case he has blocked me and I cannot know what he is doing, where he is living and this is suffocating me. Thanks
My exes addiction is stealing, cheating, beating up women and constantly lying... hes a narcissist and good luck to his new supply, im glad he walked out on me
unfortunately their are so many people out there with a long history of drugs and alcohol who claim to be clean and sober and they STILL have a nasty /selfish abusive attitude towards other people !! the best and ONLY way to deal with these evil savages is to permanently cut them OFF because it was over before it even started !!!!!!
how about this one: my ex lives with his ex and their children, they have been separated for 6 years but practically live as companions still-eating meals together, doing family activities together, etc. The ex's ex had problems with me and threatened to get a restraining order after he broke up with me because she and I weren't getting along. walk away? or wait for him to figure out the mess he's in?
Well I dont want to manipulate her, just tell her what I have been seeing and doing, I did mistakes yes, but I was not always cold, actually very caring! And thats not even a lie, she should know, probably forgot it all.
We were together for 5 months, then went to Vegas with her and her friends. We had the first major fight between us and her friends witnessed the whole thing. We ended up making up but I can't help but feel this was the beginning of the end. She ended up breaking up with me a month after that and she said that "Something doesn’t feel right, and that she didn’t know that she was ready like she thought she was, always feeling irritated or anxious.", and that there was nothing that I could have done. A month later, I'm still watching these videos trying to be hopeful, however I know I need to move on and it's killing me because I've never felt like this about anyone else in my life.
I've been watching your videos and your advice has helped a lot so far for me to get out of depression and anxiety. I don't have enough money to get a private coaching from you. I have four kids I'm taking care of myself, but I was wondering if you had any advice for me. I was in a 5 year relationship and later my wife was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar I. I went through all the panic and crying and such... Either way, she started talking to someone else before she left. I'm trying no contact except for talking about the kids when necessary. I know that's all I can do is work on myself and my household, but I'm not sure if with her condition it's even possible for her to come back.
I’ve been trying to get my ex back for over a month. And watching this video I realized he had a very serious problem. I offered him help and my support and he didn’t want to take the help. He broke up with me and now is acting so cold and different. I applied the no contact rule but it seems like that’s not helping. I’m starting to think that need to move on and get over that person that couldn’t appreciate all I had for him.
Hi I have block up with my ex and good her litte lie she told me to move on wich i did my going date web page but I what to try fix the this and i really what her back how can i do this but she told me we never getting back together but I don't how to get her back
My ex and I are still married and she walked out on me with kids still with me, she has many mental problems like bipolar, ADHD, and so on, she cheated on me 4 times with the latest to be the 4th time, I'm 38 and she is 22, so when she left I was mortified, but over a short period of time I realized that she will never change, she came from a family of abuse, plus she was raped at one point in her life, now all I do is for our kids though she still acts and plays around in the streets like a child who doesn't want to grow up.
I know this is an older video but what you MUST first do is determine whether or not this is Narcissistic Abuse. Look this up NOW and find out. If it IS there is NOTHING you can do and you need to give up and move on.
Dated an ex addict. On the outside the world, their Church and friends see them as the Example to the world as recovered. I respecting their growth and really being there in the highs and lows became the punching bag. I never say anything right etc. I disrespect them? They had me on a pedestal and now...l am busy. Trying to at least be a good friend as her bubble is mostly ex addicts. It hurts because l am confused. They have blocked me and pushed me away. I am slowly letting go but so many questions. I was blamed for everything. Still drinks alot even though they are recovered from drugs????? Help
My ex has mental health issues. She unfollowed me recently on Instagram then reached out 4 days later asking me for the resume I made for her in the past and bragged about how great her life is now. I told her congratulations and I hope things work out for her. She’s been trying to play games with me since we broke up 3 months ago. I’m in no contact now and not responding to her.
My ex bf was kind of addicted to gaming. He wouldn't play all day or night but it would sometimes make me feel like I am not a priority and his game on a Saturday night is more important. And doesn't acknowledge it at all, he says it is part of him as he started early in his teens and is now 43. He also works in IT so built his career on computers. I broke it off as my needs were not met. He wants us back but not making any changes or going to therapy, doesn't think it is a problem. Other huge problem: blocked libido, no sex at all. So I broke it off.
My ex said that we could have been together but my sisters and his family is not in support of our relationship so he can't go ahead with our relationship.
Petros Giorgallis pretty sure she is listening to her heart, it's her ex that isn't listening to his heart. Tbh families in general shouldn't even interfere a relationship. They are basically putting what they want and needs onto their child just so their child could satisfy them, and the child think he or she is truly happy about him or herself when in reality you're only making them (the parents) happy. Not even religion or race should not interfere relationship, love is love. Love shouldn't be prevented just because the 2 are different. If the 2 are in love, they both will work it out together. No one should get involve and be judgmental of the relationship.
Thank you so much for this incredible video! It is really hard to let go when you are feeling empathy towards the person sometimes despite everything he did and said. When rational and logical thinking can be mixed with feelings and emotions it makes us more confused. 🤦🏻♀️ An addiction can definitely ruin a relationship like extreme gaming addiction. Also gaslighting, mixed signals and other signs like mental health issues and verbal abuse.. But sometimes it's too hard to let go regardless of realizing the situation is bad. Even when the person himself let go or tries to it is still tough. But eventually we start to get stronger and have more empathy for ourselves care about ourselves.. I wish everyone to have enough emotional intelligence support and knowledge of such things with the help of ourselves and amazing people like coach Craig and coach Margaret. ™💜
Sitting here wanting my ex back knowing she is terrible for me she broke up with me after 2 years an then slept with someone at work a week later. My ex has addiction issue has mental health issues acts more like a child then an adult when things don't go there way with a lot of trauma from her teens where she was sexually abused. She told me i was the right person at the wrong time i know i shouldn't be with her i know its bad for me but all i want is to be with her an take care of her i have no idea why because nearly everything in this video was part of the relationship i had.
And what if he sent a SMS saying "I am sorry but I don't want contact anymore, you were always good to me but now that's it. All the best for your life"....so it's a goodbye forever? :(
Sometimes ROs are needed. Especially when someone is violent or has threatened violence. Although for the ones that keep breaking them and refusing, yeah that’s just making chaos
What if they are a narcissist distorting reality and magnifying errors or exaggerating things? How will I know if this person really is a narcissist? When does watching porn become an addiction? My last therapist minimized my finance's use of porn and then my fiance was limiting our physical activity to once a week because he was "busy" with work and then I found out later he was using porn during the day to take care of himself and he worked late at night doing his work and I didn't want to interfere in respect to his work and then my needs weren't met.
I honestly believe my ex may be a narcissist and she's being emotionally immature. She blocked me on all social media & I also strongly believe her mom is giving her advice/information that's causing her to not want to be with me. She also keeps blaming everything on me but wont tell me why she broke up with me in the first place and also didnt want to talk when I reached out to her. She's 27 and she lives with her mom who is single. I went to a physic and she told me her mom is most likely jealous of the relationship me and her daughter had. We went to Vegas together and we had plans of having a baby and getting married. I honestly don't know what's going on but I do know I want her back. Because I'm the best person for her. By the way, it was a long distance relationship too.
Thanks guys, this video really made sense, I laughed at your comment (slightly) half way through! I'll book a session with Margaret sometime this week. :)
Yes this is what ex said to me texted me .he said excatly these things...married for 3 weeks .he in mature at times ..big drinker ..verbal abusive n got to physical but he stopped drinking for while got married .had fight with my mum started again , loved to me .long time down Street. Yes this is what happened I tried to fix things . Nothing is goid enough ..I said that made him worse..I thinking this missed 5 weeks work stay in bed 5 weeks depressed ...hiding at his sisters place .his family n friends has big influence on him..yes he stopped taking responsibility
6/18/2024: "Any kind of real relationship gives you energy, it doesn’t take it from you." Margaret (RIP) was spot on regarding how addiction makes one withdraw and occasionally outbursts due to not being able to regulate behavior. I got in NA and am doing the steps, and I have an Orange keychain now, but I have already pushed her away, unfortunately. I wrote an honest letter that shows empathy to how I made her feel, apologizing, and wanting to make amends to her and someone else in her family, but I can't email it. It's been 5 weeks of no contact, but I'm concerned that sending it could make things worse (for me). She might get mad, or reply with something I'm better off, not knowing. Are there any other guys here in this spot? This was once a very kind, gentle woman who did so much for me and treated me like I was her everything. I take ownership for this. I am/was, avoidant. I think we'd be living together and 💍 or married if it wasn't for me. She did nothing wrong at all.
Wow it’s today’s video!! Thanks for summarizing all issues I’ve dealt with. Weirdly while I’ve known, it’s been very difficult to truly believe it and feel relaxed about it.... that probably has been my trauma.
What if my ex has early childhood trauma, which seems to have caused an avoidant attachment style, though with considerable anxiety as well. What if partly she broke up with me to return to her home country / family in order to give herself a better chance to deal with the issue. In what capacity can I still be in her life. She had her issues with me, but categorically stated she loved me when she broke up. Its very confusing. No contact is killing me as there is so much that is unresolved.
Your videos are coming at the perfect time Craig! I've been spending time with my ex again, but it doesn't seem like things are progressing and my needs aren't really being met. I wonder if I'm just wasting my time sometimes.
Sarah Wilkinson I'm sorry to hear that. It's frustrating when you have some really good days, and they pull back. I try and give her space but this has been a dance for two months now. I'm not trying to push for commitment, but she says she loves me but I just don't always feel it. Then she accuses me of being selfish when I try to get my love needs met. We work so well together but it's definitely not 50/50
Sean Linville. I am going through the same thing with my on again off again ex. For now we are talking but it's always on his terms. I feel as if I'm wasting my time because he runs hot and cold. Whenever I try to make up my mind to let go, he will reach out but just long enough to pacify me. All I do is wait on him, and I know it's not fair to me. I'm going to wait for him to call again and I'm just going to have to be really strong this time. This video hit the nail on the head. My ex always says we aren't together because of me, when it's him.
This video hurts. I failed miserably. I had hope of getting back together, but now I see I need to get healthy because I settled for several of these issues with out him getting lasting help. I stuck by him through rehab and withdrawal as well as some mental health issues... and he ended it?!? I'm going into therapy and naranon because I need to be a better me.
Well apparently I’m on the list I’ve Been fighting with my family most of my life because I like to tell me what the right thing to do is instead of being supportive and letting me make up my own mind this is why I try my hardest not to talk with actually have to talk to him
Thank you so much for your time and wisdom. Helped hearing this, and letting them go, as i know i can not help them anymore its in a higher power now, did what i could
What about anxiety..I have a anxiety disorder I over worry to much it doesnt make me a bad person or horrible person to date I'm the most loved caring person u can meet ..it make me feel that perple should stay away from me because of a mental disorder it's not fair I been working on it for years...I want a relationship where my partner dies understand my anxiety. .
my ex bf suddenly started becoming so cold and broke up with no specific reason, when i went to apologise him for if i had done something wrong then he threatened me to call cop...i was totally shocked , i thought he did not.mean it...but he really did..he really called cops on me, and it broke me so hard..i never thought someone whom i loved so much would do something like this...he totally blamaed me for whatever happened..but I really do not know where i went wrong😞
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1) Addiction
2) Legal involvement
3) Cheating & lack of commitment
4) Mental health issues & resistance against therapy
5) Manipulation (Threats, reality distortions etc.)
6) Lack of responsibility & blaming all on you
7) Mixed messages
OK. I got 5 out of 7. I think I won the move on prize.
AVOIDANT
I needed this. He exhibits at least 5 of these traits. God help me to be strong and never go back to my husband unless he has a complete overhaul which would be a true miracle.
I value myself too much to waste my time and energy. I never chase anyone. His loss.
And that's a woman ladies and gentlemen !
Who else was relieved at the end of the video because none of this applies to their situation? 😅
haha
But why isn't the "they're being in a (rebound) relationship" part of them? xD
unfortunately every single one of those applies to mine ^^ fml
unguided728 because your ex being in a rebound could be a good thing for you. Trying so hard to forget about you that they have to settle for the first one that comes around. It may help you ex realize what they had with you.
@@ltf9 Me too outside of the legal issues. We will be much better off if they are so toxic.
Who was relieved when they got a perfect score and realized that getting off the sinking ship was a good thing?
This one is one of my favorites. It’s a great reminder and eye opener to reality. Not all men/women are healthy people capable of being in a worthwhile lasting relationship. Great insight. Thank you.
If someone here have the same situation discussed by the coaches, please keep on watching the videos for personal development.
You don't need anyone to be happy. You just have to work on yourself guys.
This channel discusses topics on improving you and the elements affecting relationships rather than focusing on tricking your ex to get back. I love this channel.
3mos NC and counting.
I realised after only 1 month, my ex has their own issues to deal with.. they were never happy with anything, theh hope to inflict pain of abandonment & thrive off the power because they suffered in the past & their most likely their childhood. it’s sad but maybe some of you may relate and it could help clarify why they seemed so careless walking away. Best to stop doubting yourself, I did. things happy when you least expect them 👍🏼
Any kind of real relationship gives you energy it doesn't take it ..I felt that 🙌
A relationship is a full time job. Never get a part timer.
Love this 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Hi couch Craig I watched this video and I was wondering do you talk about safe sex there is one thing that she is seeing someone else and trying to get her back on what level do we accept if she was being safe,aids and STDs is still lurking out there and my ex that might have gotten rape at 15 and had a baby now she is 44 and her daughter is 29 she enjoys unprotected sex she has that thing inside her that she won't get pregnant but where do we draw the line.
I know absence make the heart grow founder. It's best to remember the good and bad and learn from it. Don't create a new person that is only an ideal. Like Person A" is the old person, and person B" is your fantasy (the ideal). Don't recreate a false image of a person that doesn't
exist. Instead, let yourself grow and move on. You don't really miss person A". Remember familiarity isn't always the healthiest choice. Compatibility is key in relationship. After a break-up- As time progresses you can now see clearly. Relationships are a Bonus!! Not a necessity. Remember, being close to someone is not restricted to one person. Again, don't stop yourself from growing. Don't give up on love it's out their - you will find it when you are ready.
My husband walked out on me a year ago, and I used to put him on a pedestal. You’re videos help me SO much. I’ve been getting help with a local therapist as well. My husband has been making so many childish decisions and can’t seeem to grow up. It’s taken me near a year to realise I’m wasting my time. Now I’m taking serious steps to move forward no matter how difficult it is. I value myself enjoy that I will never ask for someone to stay with me and I’m amazing person and they can’t see it, then CYA!
My girlfriend walked out on me a year ago too. I’ve done the same thing and put her on a pedestal. Very much struggling with the situation. I should move on, but she was my best friend and I’m very attached to her. I can’t seem to get over her.
Is he going through a mid life crisis? Mine left me over menopause, rehashed solved issues and even twisted them.
I found out she's dating a 22 year old kid and she's 38.
She recently accused me of abuse but took the post down and it contained a bunch of lies and childish things. She thought me playing a little prank like hiding in the corner laughing at her playing hide and seek with our daughter was "abuse".
@@Thiago_Alves_Souza that is almost similar to what happened to me, my exgf rehashed old issues and broke up with me, 3 weeks later I find that she's with someone else, signs point to she might have been with someone else during the last month of our relationship *
(perhaps even longer for all i know). It upset me dearly and i told her off telling her to erase my number and never message me again, she makes it sound as if she's a victim of how I treated her even though she put me through some of the worst things a person could be subjected to emotionally with her mental illness.
Well if you're free I'd be glad to help you I'll put you in a pedestal and care for you I'm a decent guy I'm all alone
Can we get an update on your story?
The main and the biggest reason for most of BREAKUPS is that we dont own the 50/50 policy , we just keep blaming each other and getting only one part to have all the responsibilities for the break up .
Honestly I don't like the term 50/50 when it comes to a relationship. As a good Pastoral friend once told me, "a relationship has to be 100/100, both people giving their all, or it'll never work out. The term 50/50 can lead some to believe that they can halfass their part in the relationship and that's not the case"
My boyfriend just ended it. He suffers from bipolar and self medicates with alcohol. This video helped me see that although I miss him, I need to keep my distance until he can help himself. Thank you for addressing this, it’s been very difficult to let go of the love I have for him.
How are you now? Did you ever heard of him?
Avoidants are difficult..I try to stay away..follow your peace first
My ex hid his addiction to porn. When I found out about it, he blamed me for all the problems we were having. No no no! I’m glad I broke up, I’m glad it’s over, I’m glad we’re not back together. I watch your videos because I’m learning a lot about what to not do.
Overcomer 2017 this happened to me as well. They can’t love us like we deserve to be loved . Dishonesty plays a big role in porn addiction
I just realized that rewatching a video helps me be more conscious of the information it contains. I think I am wasting time trying to get my ex back. I feel so sad 🤦🏻♀️😭
OMG!! In the middle of watching this video my ex reached out after 2.5 months!! I’m freaking out a bit. No contact really works!
That’s what my ex said. You’re the reason we aren’t together. I believe we both had a part In it. He still to this day will not apologize for his part and I’ve apologized a hundred times I bet. Just never gonna work with that outlook.
@safico magetop go away with the spamming lol
My ex used to blame me for everything, he broke up with me. Most of the times I was just defending myself from him, I miss him sometimes but he made me favor.
Jacqueline López Zeledón My ex did the same thing to me. After almost two years I came to the realization that he did me a huge favor. I miss him but only the person I thought he was in the beginning of our relationship. I saw his true character after the fog cleared and I thank god he saved me from more years of hurt.
Sounds like a narcissist you dudged a bullet..
How long did it take for you guys to get to the point where you felt like he did you a favor by breaking it off?
I had a coworker do this- she would yell at me, belittle me, treat me like I was incapable of doing my job- then she cornered me one day and told me everything was my fault and I was the one that hated her and she never hated me. I told her I was over this situation and didnt return to the job- I had tried to communicate with my management and they were not able to do anything- so I will be the one that makes sure my boundaries are respected.
Oh, look at sweet Margaret, all cute with her new hairstyle! Much love!
You know, I'm glad I listened to this. Cause it helped me realize that the person I've been chasing after for years is more toxic to me than I initially wanted to admit. I still love her, and I want us to be together but at the same time, I'm slowly (fighting tooth and nail the whole way) coming to the conclusion that I have to put myself first, otherwise I'm going to continue in the cycle of abuse that I've been in since a young age.
Any kind of real relationship gives you energy..it dosen't take it.
That's perfect Margaret :)
I had been wasting my time as soon as i got with him... and the biggest mistake i made was marrying him... i was the best thing that happened to him so if i never see him again it wouldnt bother me
This Actually made me feel better dont see any of these signs
THANK YOU! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear - after calmly and kindly ending it with a guy who misrepresented his relationship with another woman...and had no intentions of ending it with her.
After I calmly explained why it was over, and wished him the best, he tried to guilt trip me for "cutting him out of my life."...even 2 weeks later!
He was my best friend and romantic partner/dream guy for 5 months, so it's been shocking and painful; but I've kept healthy boundaries (no contact)...mostly because INSTEAD of fixing the problem, he got mean and criticized me for leaving. He was never mean before.
Your video is SO RIGHT! I know I did the right thing, but they try to make you second guess yourself and feel guilty! ("you must be so damaged and hurt to cut me out of your life" etc). Thank you for being the voice of sanity and wisdom. PLEASE make more videos for the "dumper" who's been hurt and HAD to end it. I could hug you both!
All these ones are real deal breakers. All of them can cause so much pain and may cause trauma. Never underestimate the issues that someone can cause you.
The latest one was,if at any time in the last 5 years your actions had made me feel loved by you, we would have something,, but you haven't.
But is the person who says "it's your fault the relationship went bad" actually wrong to say it if the other person did everything they could to damage the relationship? Everything from drug addiction, withdrawing emotionally and physically, cutting all communication, passive aggressive behaviours, etc etc. I get that in relationships that no one is perfect and has their own faults but sometimes I think saying "you're at fault here" isn't unreasonable. I've certainly accepted responsibility for my other mess ups so I'm not one to shirk blame onto others undeservedly.
Time with ex is allways waist of time🤣☝️the best way to heal is ignor them 🤗❤️💪🍀😎
Every time I watch another video I’m learning something so valuable. Thank you both.
hi craig do you think you can make a video of men and their feelings after the breakup does “feelings change like the clouds in the sky” apply to them especially when they dumped you
My ex is an alcoholic, and is a mean one when hes on a role. He would be nice, then say the meanest things a minute later. (Horrible mood swings) I learned what to say to him to get him back to his good mood swing. I found myself EXHAUSTED being with him....he was wonderful sober
Mine was too! But he got better until he broke up with me drunk!
You’re too pretty to be dealing with that BS
Same for me
My bpd girlfriend told me she was going out to sell her body if I didn't give her money. I gave her the money and, then blocked her. She still haven't called . I don't think she will
And why do I need him?
I have to admit: it hurt a little bit but yeah... These are very good signs
10:00 what Margaret explained about WHY people repeat their trauma... wow! That was powerful insight!
Hello dear how are you doing today I got help through Dr Andrew he helped me with my relationship problems he can help you too....
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Kenneth and Margaret are great counselors honest truthful deer with today's truthful X problems really love watching them
"A man saying it's all your fault is a man who secretly knows it's all his." -My British ex 🧐🎩🇬🇧
Monday’s video early? 😮
So... she broke up... I begged and pleaded... did all sorts of stupidity... then came across your videos... went no contact. But she contacted me after a week... we met had a good time... then again no contact... then after 10 days she wished me on my birthday, I asked her out for lunch she said yes but cancelled later ... she was actually sick and apologized for canceling... said she’ll see me once she’s okay but she didn’t so I contacted her... i was going through our old messages on hike and I knew she had uninstalled it... so I texted baby please come back... later on I ran into her and she told ,e she received it via text message and her behavior changed... a few days later I asked about the status of my birthday lunch and she said that’s not happening because she doesn’t want to... and I said okay I won’t bother you... let me know when you’re ready... went no contact again.. and today she blocked me on what’s app and Idk where else... I did nothing... please help
Been waiting for this one.....simply incredible
I'd highly suggest a personality video! The anxious/avoidant dance is very reminiscent of the ENFP/ISTJ relationships or any similar combos. Attachments and personality types go hand-in-hand. It is one of the few things aside from coach Craig's videos that gave me clarity and closure that my avoidance ISTJ never gave me and probably never will give me.
What about with children involved?
How do you know exactly?
Like in my instance, we were together almost 7 years...
she's talking to me still(after 2 weeks) of leaving/splitting.
We talk almost nighty about personal things we overlooked...
I Skype the kids...
We text one another but give enough space to reminisce on previous discussions, experiences, memories and realizations...
But... She's passive on certain phases, kinda short still, wants to dwell on the past issues...
But will laugh amd say she loves me...
Im juat confised but blessed to be fortunate enough to be in the middle ,working on it
But why isn't there another that says "they are dating someone new/in a rebound/in a new relationship" ?
I liked the way you explained not only the undesirable issue, but the continual impact. The balance of power problem can be explored even more. For me that's difficult.
SO GOOD. THANKS 🤗
The concept that Margaret mentions of "repeating trauma" is an interesting one. It might explain why some people cheat and have no clue as to why.
I am going to listen to this one everyday. It's 100% , everything that I'm dealing with.. he has said everything that you two have just said. It's like you both were here through the entire ordeal, i had with him. . Now, i need to hear one that talks about what to do now, after this and how to continue on the right track. Entiat
My exgf suffered from severe mental health issues, i pushed her to seek help, she started seeing a therapist and get on medication and she got so much better, our relationship improved or so i thought, she ends up breaking up with me saying that I was the issue because I was controlling and had jelousy issues, turns out she was seeing someone else and rehashed old problems that I thought I worked past a year ago, i found this out 3 weeks after she broke up with me. Even when we communicated for a day before I found all this out ( 3 weeks after the breakup ) she stated how depressed she was and that she cut her neck so they had to take her off a certain medication and prescribed her something different, I asked her if she was still seeing her therapist and she replied with no, i told her to speak to her family so they can get her the help again but this was all the day before i found out she was seeing someone. I wasnt the best bf in the world but lord knows I tried so hard for her and everything i could for her, i could have been a little more patient with her in the end but I still dont feel like i did anything wrong to her, I always tried to stop any arguments that we would have and would rather just walk away than sit there and argue, most arguments seemed like a delusion coming from her, she always thought I was cheating on her and would bring up past relationships that i was in holding them against me and i was never even a womanizer! Anyway, when she told me " I don't want to be with you anymore, there is someone else. " I couldn't believe it, years of us being together working through our problems and getting her the support that she needed, i stuck by her side even when she would get hysterical at me but she threw it all away and I dont think the new person she is with will EVER go through what I went through with her. I felt so used and betrayed, i ended up telling her that she was a liar, cheater and manipulator and i was glad that we broke up because i finally got to see the real person that she is. I dont think she'll ever see the sacrifices that I made for her or appreciate how much i progressed in my life for us to live together. I wish i could have handled the situation better but the reality is i was emotionally distraught, this was the woman I was going to propose to on Valentine's Day and spend the rest of my life with. I told her never to message me again, the next day she messages my sisters asking if I was ok. I told them not to reply. I really hate to say it but i am bitter and upset towards her but I am slowly getting better day by day. Im now even seeing a therapist which ive never done before and it's helped me out tremendously. Anyway, Im just sharing this to see if it helps anyone and because it helps me get everything out. Good luck guys and always remember there is hope after a breakup.
damn
same exact story accept i had purposed but lost the ring a year and a half after ...that would be about 5 months ago..was just discarded a week ago after no contact for 3 months...! Crazy rollercoaster ride ..!
Fortunately & Unfortunately 1 major one and almost all of the small ones apply to my situation. If any of these apply to you please don’t go back. Think of it this way if you could get back together then this person could be tied to you for life. Is this the life you want to live ?
My ex screw up while we were trying to have time a part to fix oír problems, well... After the screw up I was extremely hurt, and he did the no contact for a few wks, which for me made it worse, so when he tried to reach out again, I had way too resented thinking abt a relationship with him, but when I thought abt friendship with him, I was ok.
He recently told me that, he followed ur method of no contact, and avoid pressuring me into go back with him. I was like wtf!! I wanted at first to fight for it, to go through some of my pain, so I assumed he didn't care at all, and I moved on, I saw it as ohhh well, it wasn't meant to be anyways, he didn't even care abt what I went through.
So the no contact rule doesn't work like magic in all the cases specially if they screwed up.
ldlbusta how do you mean screwed up
@@Moonlight.Melon.Mounter we talked about having some time apart 3 days before going camping with friends, we went camping together and I put my daughter to bed, he states Talking on the campfire with a new girl in the group, i was and heard how he was playing the victim to her, I could hear from my rent it was abt 10 ft apart, a saw him walking her to her tent, and they kissed, at that point I stepted out and confronted him. I was sure we were going to be back together, then I understood why he was so jealous and checked on me so much( Which is the reason we broke up) it was because he knew he knew it could happen (the cheating)Because it was on his mind all the time.
Hell yeah I am wasting my time I was nothing but a rebound. She even told me in the end the I was nothing but a rebound to her. But I got attached and really liked her and wanted her.
you probably found someone much better dont lose hope
Run!
Excellent video. Coach Margaret and Coach Craig are saving not just the heart but potentially the life of others.
Hello dear how are you doing today I got help through Dr Andrew he helped me with my relationship problems he can help you too....
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Oh my gosh. What a huge relief on this.
Wow! My ex cheated and lied about it. Then dumped me but blames me and said I wasted 4 years of his life
I AM actually "relieved" having this information! NOW I can get real and close the deal! My ex, who dumped me, is a FULL BLOWN RAGING ALCOHOLIC! It's been hell for me in that relationship too! Her answer; "you just love the alcoholic". MY response; no, YOU stop drinking and get help with YOUR problem!
Hello dear how are you doing today I got help through Dr Andrew he helped me with my relationship problems he can help you too....
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Craig… hold up hold up, " Avoid and Attachment Style"?? What is this you speak of? Please do tell, and quite possibly do a video on it? I've watched quite a few videos now, and I will reiterate what others have said..
Your videos do pull us through, especially during the quarantine time we are in now 04/08/2020 They shed alot of light when your in the dark searching for answers. Your video's are inspiring, and give us guidance for a life changing event, such as a break up.. Or shall I say, how you can make a break up, into a life changing event and come out better!
Thank you Craig, for what you do. I think I speak for everybody when I say... we appreciate you.
Best Wishes.
I give up. She ignores and avoided me but she's always online. If I will send a message she has alibis but the truth ahe is chatting with others.
my ex is on this list, always manipulative and wishy washy, she left me three times, she likes me then she doesnt, she blocks me then unblocks me then blocks me,talks to me then wants nothing to do with me not healthy she has issues.i need to let her be if she wants me she knows where i am, its very hard cause we work together, i feel like it was my but all my friends and family say she is crazy
gmanhatesu same exact thing has happened to me with an ex he left 3 times and he would like be so in love with me always contact me call and see me and then all of a sudden he would lash out of nowhere or just ghost me lol after the 3rd time I gave up.
Did you give her a reason to act that way or was she always unstable? Just asking not accusing.
I'm allergic to all the meds we have tried for years and I miss my husband so incredibly much
Do you think that my bf of two years says to me that the fact that he's never changed his "single" status on FB or ever allowed a tagged picture of us on his social media and him saying "you're reading too much into it" is THIS manipulation??
Yes absolutely, he doesn’t want to commit at all.
It’s called “pocketing” a relationship. He has other people he’s interested in who he doesn’t want to “turn off” by posting a woman he isn’t sure he wants to commit to.
Coach, I’m in Tampa. Would either of you be willing to do one on one session? I would very much enjoy not only growing and learning from you but also being able to shake your hand bc I definitely believe you could dissect my situation in fifteen minutes of me explaining exactly what all happened. Best of all I would like to know where I went wrong and how I can improve myself regardless if she comes back or not. Best of all and most important if I should accept her back or not if ever she realizes how much I do love her. Looking forward to working with y’all soon!! It’s hard when you get hurt by anyone that you give your heart and soul too. Can make a man do crazy things and I don’t like those feelings or thoughts. 💔
My ex was addicted to video games this is what ended our relationship he would put gaming before not only me but our child he was never around for anything important because he would be gaming or sleeping I can't wait until my heart heals from this been about 5 months
You left a guy for playing video games? Not cheating or beating on you. No abusive behavior or serious addiction. You left him for playing video games? Was he a decent guy at least?
At least if you know that your husband passed away, you know that he is dead, but in my case he has blocked me and I cannot know what he is doing, where he is living and this is suffocating me. Thanks
My exes addiction is stealing, cheating, beating up women and constantly lying... hes a narcissist and good luck to his new supply, im glad he walked out on me
unfortunately their are so many people out there with a long history of drugs and alcohol who claim to be clean and sober and they STILL have a nasty /selfish abusive attitude towards other people !! the best and ONLY way to deal with these evil savages is to permanently cut them OFF because it was over before it even started !!!!!!
how about this one: my ex lives with his ex and their children, they have been separated for 6 years but practically live as companions still-eating meals together, doing family activities together, etc. The ex's ex had problems with me and threatened to get a restraining order after he broke up with me because she and I weren't getting along. walk away? or wait for him to figure out the mess he's in?
Well I dont want to manipulate her, just tell her what I have been seeing and doing, I did mistakes yes, but I was not always cold, actually very caring! And thats not even a lie, she should know, probably forgot it all.
We were together for 5 months, then went to Vegas with her and her friends. We had the first major fight between us and her friends witnessed the whole thing. We ended up making up but I can't help but feel this was the beginning of the end. She ended up breaking up with me a month after that and she said that "Something doesn’t feel right, and that she didn’t know that she was ready like she thought she was, always feeling irritated or anxious.", and that there was nothing that I could have done. A month later, I'm still watching these videos trying to be hopeful, however I know I need to move on and it's killing me because I've never felt like this about anyone else in my life.
How did you get on?
I've been watching your videos and your advice has helped a lot so far for me to get out of depression and anxiety. I don't have enough money to get a private coaching from you. I have four kids I'm taking care of myself, but I was wondering if you had any advice for me. I was in a 5 year relationship and later my wife was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar I. I went through all the panic and crying and such... Either way, she started talking to someone else before she left. I'm trying no contact except for talking about the kids when necessary. I know that's all I can do is work on myself and my household, but I'm not sure if with her condition it's even possible for her to come back.
I’ve been trying to get my ex back for over a month. And watching this video I realized he had a very serious problem. I offered him help and my support and he didn’t want to take the help. He broke up with me and now is acting so cold and different. I applied the no contact rule but it seems like that’s not helping. I’m starting to think that need to move on and get over that person that couldn’t appreciate all I had for him.
Hi I have block up with my ex and good her litte lie she told me to move on wich i did my going date web page but I what to try fix the this and i really what her back how can i do this but she told me we never getting back together but I don't how to get her back
In
My ex and I are still married and she walked out on me with kids still with me, she has many mental problems like bipolar, ADHD, and so on, she cheated on me 4 times with the latest to be the 4th time, I'm 38 and she is 22, so when she left I was mortified, but over a short period of time I realized that she will never change, she came from a family of abuse, plus she was raped at one point in her life, now all I do is for our kids though she still acts and plays around in the streets like a child who doesn't want to grow up.
I know this is an older video but what you MUST first do is determine whether or not this is Narcissistic Abuse. Look this up NOW and find out. If it IS there is NOTHING you can do and you need to give up and move on.
Dated an ex addict. On the outside the world, their Church and friends see them as the Example to the world as recovered. I respecting their growth and really being there in the highs and lows became the punching bag. I never say anything right etc. I disrespect them? They had me on a pedestal and now...l am busy. Trying to at least be a good friend as her bubble is mostly ex addicts. It hurts because l am confused. They have blocked me and pushed me away. I am slowly letting go but so many questions. I was blamed for everything. Still drinks alot even though they are recovered from drugs????? Help
My ex has mental health issues. She unfollowed me recently on Instagram then reached out 4 days later asking me for the resume I made for her in the past and bragged about how great her life is now. I told her congratulations and I hope things work out for her. She’s been trying to play games with me since we broke up 3 months ago. I’m in no contact now and not responding to her.
My ex bf was kind of addicted to gaming. He wouldn't play all day or night but it would sometimes make me feel like I am not a priority and his game on a Saturday night is more important. And doesn't acknowledge it at all, he says it is part of him as he started early in his teens and is now 43. He also works in IT so built his career on computers. I broke it off as my needs were not met. He wants us back but not making any changes or going to therapy, doesn't think it is a problem. Other huge problem: blocked libido, no sex at all. So I broke it off.
'Love On the Rocks' - Neil Diamond
My ex said that we could have been together but my sisters and his family is not in support of our relationship so he can't go ahead with our relationship.
Petros Giorgallis pretty sure she is listening to her heart, it's her ex that isn't listening to his heart. Tbh families in general shouldn't even interfere a relationship. They are basically putting what they want and needs onto their child just so their child could satisfy them, and the child think he or she is truly happy about him or herself when in reality you're only making them (the parents) happy. Not even religion or race should not interfere relationship, love is love. Love shouldn't be prevented just because the 2 are different. If the 2 are in love, they both will work it out together. No one should get involve and be judgmental of the relationship.
Thank you so much for this incredible video! It is really hard to let go when you are feeling empathy towards the person sometimes despite everything he did and said. When rational and logical thinking can be mixed with feelings and emotions it makes us more confused. 🤦🏻♀️ An addiction can definitely ruin a relationship like extreme gaming addiction. Also gaslighting, mixed signals and other signs like mental health issues and verbal abuse.. But sometimes it's too hard to let go regardless of realizing the situation is bad. Even when the person himself let go or tries to it is still tough. But eventually we start to get stronger and have more empathy for ourselves care about ourselves.. I wish everyone to have enough emotional intelligence support and knowledge of such things with the help of ourselves and amazing people like coach Craig and coach Margaret. ™💜
Sitting here wanting my ex back knowing she is terrible for me she broke up with me after 2 years an then slept with someone at work a week later. My ex has addiction issue has mental health issues acts more like a child then an adult when things don't go there way with a lot of trauma from her teens where she was sexually abused. She told me i was the right person at the wrong time i know i shouldn't be with her i know its bad for me but all i want is to be with her an take care of her i have no idea why because nearly everything in this video was part of the relationship i had.
OF COURSE SHE SAID IT WAS TOTALLY MY FAULT, SO SHE MANGLED AND MALIGNED ME WITH GUSTO AND ENTHUSIASM
SHE TOOK NO RESPONSIBILITY, WHY AM I HERE ?
My Girlfriend just broke up with me. She said she's a little bit Bipolar.
And what if he sent a SMS saying "I am sorry but I don't want contact anymore, you were always good to me but now that's it. All the best for your life"....so it's a goodbye forever? :(
Go no contact with him.
You deserve someone who will love you :)
If he comes back, cool. But I promise there’s someone much much better
“We would be together if it wasn’t for you” ha!! I heard that one. Lordie. Excellent video & excellent point by Margaret “exhausted!”
Sometimes ROs are needed. Especially when someone is violent or has threatened violence. Although for the ones that keep breaking them and refusing, yeah that’s just making chaos
What if they are a narcissist distorting reality and magnifying errors or exaggerating things? How will I know if this person really is a narcissist? When does watching porn become an addiction? My last therapist minimized my finance's use of porn and then my fiance was limiting our physical activity to once a week because he was "busy" with work and then I found out later he was using porn during the day to take care of himself and he worked late at night doing his work and I didn't want to interfere in respect to his work and then my needs weren't met.
I honestly believe my ex may be a narcissist and she's being emotionally immature. She blocked me on all social media & I also strongly believe her mom is giving her advice/information that's causing her to not want to be with me. She also keeps blaming everything on me but wont tell me why she broke up with me in the first place and also didnt want to talk when I reached out to her. She's 27 and she lives with her mom who is single. I went to a physic and she told me her mom is most likely jealous of the relationship me and her daughter had. We went to Vegas together and we had plans of having a baby and getting married. I honestly don't know what's going on but I do know I want her back. Because I'm the best person for her. By the way, it was a long distance relationship too.
Thanks guys, this video really made sense, I laughed at your comment (slightly) half way through! I'll book a session with Margaret sometime this week. :)
I checked way too many boxes here. Have to learn from this.
I would like to know why they disliked this videos...
Yes this is what ex said to me texted me .he said excatly these things...married for 3 weeks .he in mature at times ..big drinker ..verbal abusive n got to physical but he stopped drinking for while got married .had fight with my mum started again , loved to me .long time down Street. Yes this is what happened I tried to fix things . Nothing is goid enough ..I said that made him worse..I thinking this missed 5 weeks work stay in bed 5 weeks depressed ...hiding at his sisters place .his family n friends has big influence on him..yes he stopped taking responsibility
so many gems in this video
6/18/2024: "Any kind of real relationship gives you energy, it doesn’t take it from you."
Margaret (RIP) was spot on regarding how addiction makes one withdraw and occasionally outbursts due to not being able to regulate behavior. I got in NA and am doing the steps, and I have an Orange keychain now, but I have already pushed her away, unfortunately.
I wrote an honest letter that shows empathy to how I made her feel, apologizing, and wanting to make amends to her and someone else in her family, but I can't email it. It's been 5 weeks of no contact, but I'm concerned that sending it could make things worse (for me). She might get mad, or reply with something I'm better off, not knowing.
Are there any other guys here in this spot?
This was once a very kind, gentle woman who did so much for me and treated me like I was her everything. I take ownership for this. I am/was, avoidant. I think we'd be living together and 💍 or married if it wasn't for me. She did nothing wrong at all.
Thank you Craig.
Thank you Margaret - will say a prayer for your soul. 🙏
This is my life , my ex lies constantly about taking drugs
Wow it’s today’s video!! Thanks for summarizing all issues I’ve dealt with. Weirdly while I’ve known, it’s been very difficult to truly believe it and feel relaxed about it.... that probably has been my trauma.
What if my ex has early childhood trauma, which seems to have caused an avoidant attachment style, though with considerable anxiety as well. What if partly she broke up with me to return to her home country / family in order to give herself a better chance to deal with the issue. In what capacity can I still be in her life. She had her issues with me, but categorically stated she loved me when she broke up. Its very confusing. No contact is killing me as there is so much that is unresolved.
He didn't want to go anywhere with me much
Your videos are coming at the perfect time Craig! I've been spending time with my ex again, but it doesn't seem like things are progressing and my needs aren't really being met. I wonder if I'm just wasting my time sometimes.
Sean Linville I'm in the same boat and am feeling the same way. Best of luck to you, hope it gets better for you whether you're with your ex or not😊
Sarah Wilkinson I'm sorry to hear that. It's frustrating when you have some really good days, and they pull back. I try and give her space but this has been a dance for two months now. I'm not trying to push for commitment, but she says she loves me but I just don't always feel it. Then she accuses me of being selfish when I try to get my love needs met. We work so well together but it's definitely not 50/50
Sean Linville. I am going through the same thing with my on again off again ex. For now we are talking but it's always on his terms. I feel as if I'm wasting my time because he runs hot and cold. Whenever I try to make up my mind to let go, he will reach out but just long enough to pacify me. All I do is wait on him, and I know it's not fair to me. I'm going to wait for him to call again and I'm just going to have to be really strong this time. This video hit the nail on the head. My ex always says we aren't together because of me, when it's him.
Any updates?
This video hurts. I failed miserably. I had hope of getting back together, but now I see I need to get healthy because I settled for several of these issues with out him getting lasting help. I stuck by him through rehab and withdrawal as well as some mental health issues... and he ended it?!? I'm going into therapy and naranon because I need to be a better me.
Well apparently I’m on the list I’ve Been fighting with my family most of my life because I like to tell me what the right thing to do is instead of being supportive and letting me make up my own mind this is why I try my hardest not to talk with actually have to talk to him
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Thank you so much for your time and wisdom. Helped hearing this, and letting them go, as i know i can not help them anymore its in a higher power now, did what i could
Worthwhile listening to it…😇.. m comforted n relief by listening you..
What about anxiety..I have a anxiety disorder I over worry to much it doesnt make me a bad person or horrible person to date I'm the most loved caring person u can meet ..it make me feel that perple should stay away from me because of a mental disorder it's not fair I been working on it for years...I want a relationship where my partner dies understand my anxiety. .
same here
my ex bf suddenly started becoming so cold and broke up with no specific reason, when i went to apologise him for if i had done something wrong then he threatened me to call cop...i was totally shocked , i thought he did not.mean it...but he really did..he really called cops on me, and it broke me so hard..i never thought someone whom i loved so much would do something like this...he totally blamaed me for whatever happened..but I really do not know where i went wrong😞
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