When It's Time To Let Them Go

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
  • Sometimes it can be very difficult to let an ex go.
    Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.ne...
    • Do You Reject Women Wi...
    When It’s Time To Let Them Go
    Moving on from a break up can be incredibly difficult.
    Guy in his early 40s dating a woman in her late 30s for about a year.
    -Her Alcoholic Dad left her and her older sister and Mum when she was 12.
    -Her Mum went off the rails after her Dad left and a few years later tried to commit suicide. She found her and cared for her for a year.
    -She and her older sister were allowed to do what they wanted during their wild teenage years.
    -She said she was feeling stressed and dysfunctional and needed some space to find her feet.
    -She jokingly said around then she almost felt like 'going crazy for a year'
    -She needed to find a new flat and she had lost money through a mistake at work. I offered her all the help she needed and I gave her space. (she didnt want to move in with me just yet as she likes her independence, although she said she was thinking about it)
    -After about 3 weeks she became more distant and stopped replying to my texts.
    -Then she texted me to say that she had found a new place, her writing career was starting to take off and she was really looking forward to seeing me and hooking up again.
    -Two days later I saw her walking down the street at night hand in hand and kissing another guy.
    -This is the girl who said I was the one she had been waiting for her whole life .
    -She is very beautiful, creative and intelligent and guys were always asking her out when we were together.
    -She picked me out of everyone but now seeing her with this other guy, I was so confused and my heart broke in a million pieces. The pain still is indescribable.
    I tried to ask her to meet and talk and she refused. She doesn't like confrontations.
    -She texted me to say she was now in a new relationship and didn't think it was even 'worth being friends anymore'
    I was destroyed and at a total loss for words.
    -I still haven't got over that because we were the best of friends as well as lovers. Same sense of humour and fun
    .
    -She said she wasn't bothered about our age difference and i was the only one she could really talk to.
    For 4 weeks I texted her once a week asking if we could meet and talk with no response.
    Then I met her on the street and said 'Hi Mary'. She walked right past me like I wasn't there, avoiding eye contact. It made me feel so insignificant.
    An hour later I discover she has blocked me on Facebook and Instagram. Just for saying 'Hi Mary' in passing.
    A week later I saw her on the street again and she crossed over to the other side to avoid me. I called her name once but she ignored me again.
    She works 10 minutes from where I live and I keep seeing her with this new guy acting like a newly married couple and it's killing me slowly.
    I discovered they actually moved in together after a few weeks and now have a pet together.
    I keep thinking did I do something terrible to be virtually ghosted like this but I can't come up with any answer. I treated her with love, support and respect and we really had fun and moments I can't forget.
    Honestly we never had problems. We we joyously happy. Only once she told me she was uncomfortable with me touching her. This was just before she said she wanted some space.
    I am still in love with this girl like no one else in my entire life. I never thought id meet anyone like her.
    I don't understand how she could be so loving one minute and indifferent the next. It has been the worst pain of my life.
    I want her to be happy and successful but I also want her to come back to me. I know I'm probably foolish and blinded by love but I just want to communicate with her again.
    My friends are angry with her and say I should have nothing to do with her but I just can't shake it. I want to start again with her. Its been about 6 months since all this and I can't go on like I've been feeling. How can I start talking to her, start again and win her back Craig?
    In addition: I fell totally in love with this girl and she said she loved me too. We had the best 12 months ever. The weeks we didnt see each other because of work commitments we used to text and call and she told me everything. We totally trusted each other and I loved supported, and respected her as best I could while having lots of fun. Its like she just changed overnight.
    Craig, I really love your videos, and I've been watching them a lot since I found your channel. You are the only guy out there who really connects to the audience in a real way and I've looked at a lot of videos!

ความคิดเห็น • 383

  • @jessiepalermo7234
    @jessiepalermo7234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +407

    Telling somebody to "move on" is like telling somebody with a broken leg "just walk".

    • @darkhumour40
      @darkhumour40 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I disagree... I think the people who say this are the people who don't want to move on or are too emotionally attached to see the logical way yet. And thats fine but one day they will see what is meant by "move on"

    • @deriktofil
      @deriktofil 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      You have to learn to tell yourself to move on eventually. When it comes from within, then its genuine.

    • @linxi143
      @linxi143 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I disagree. He helped me with this video and really just listen. You will be healed

    • @James-cn8lo
      @James-cn8lo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree, it just seems people on this thread completely missed your point

    • @kn-technology
      @kn-technology 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@deriktofil thank you for this comment 😁

  • @Deathcabforeli
    @Deathcabforeli ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I’m at this stage, acceptance. My ex is dating a new guy and she seems happy, she’s already involved with his friends and after hearing about that, I decided to finally let go, yes it’s hard but it has to be done, one day i’ll be okay and I can’t wait for that day.

    • @robert8211
      @robert8211 ปีที่แล้ว

      How are you doing now? Any updates?

    • @ErmeticoItaliano
      @ErmeticoItaliano 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey mate just say fuck off to you ex that did not appreciate you

  • @_Nawbro
    @_Nawbro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +273

    I been avoiding this video for a minute now an only watching the ones that gave me hope lol. I feel so defeated but I am working on myself all around and will continue to do so. That keeps me motivated

    • @texas0075
      @texas0075 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Nawbro how you doing now bro

    • @_Nawbro
      @_Nawbro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Daniyal Rizwan I cant even explain how good I’m doing it feels good to have those feelings long gone 💯 when you’re going through it you literally think you’re going to feel that way forever ...it’s cus the hurt and betrayal is so strong it cuts deep fr

    • @ssseeeliiin
      @ssseeeliiin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@_Nawbro you're giving me hope

    • @mcheel1480
      @mcheel1480 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Hope everything is good brother, My gf of 3.5 years broke up with me. It has been 2 months. She has really changed and I think I just have to move on

    • @_Nawbro
      @_Nawbro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      McHeel disappear. Give her the break up though it is easier said than done

  • @Strictbutloving
    @Strictbutloving 5 ปีที่แล้ว +352

    why do we fall so hard for people who are so mean to us? WHY?

    • @ArchAngelMikhael91
      @ArchAngelMikhael91 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Stockholm Syndrome..trace your childhood on how your caregivers treated you.

    • @hollydrucker5360
      @hollydrucker5360 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      I wonder about that myself. We did nothing wrong . It is them that is lacking. I put my EX first trusted every word he said and gave him my all. He took and took and left me in shock and sadness. Now a few years later I am working on myself and I am ready if he ever comes back into my orbit. I will show him all I did and the work I did on myself and for myself and tell him nicely to hit the road . I found out that I do not want a person who disrespects me. I have a healthy relationship now. And I wish you love and happiness you deserve it you are a good person it sounds like. and I wish you all the best. Work on yourself ....remember that is the best way to go.

    • @void7689
      @void7689 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I wonder the same question .... I dont know why m so deep in love with her when she dont care me at all

    • @jinxlee8556
      @jinxlee8556 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ArchAngelMikhael91 You got it. She dumped a good man and embraced a jerk who used and abused her. I prefer a woman who is more mentally healthy. The kind who desires a good man and rejects lying cheating abusive jerks. Why waste my time? Stockholm Syndrome is not worth dealing with. When there are too many fine women available who are mentally stable.

    • @kkhdeir1256
      @kkhdeir1256 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      we fall in love with our investments. We get attached to the return on those investments. When we don't feel we have enough return, we feel pain
      When you put so much time and energy into someone, instead of putting that into yourself, you start needing a lot of return from them, which simultaneously makes you less attractive to them, because they're already getting all there is to get from you. It's human nature
      Look at the investment ratio. Don't give without getting enough in return every step of the way
      Be careful who how and when you invest in someone. Invest in yourself.
      When you meet someone worthy. take your time, let things build up slowly and naturally
      if it's real, it won't end
      peace love and good luck

  • @strengtheningdemocracy-awa7016
    @strengtheningdemocracy-awa7016 6 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    Move on... Don't invest your positive energy on someone full of negativity and disrespectful towards you.... You'll regret it when one day you'll find someone much better and lovable.

  • @Nolaperu
    @Nolaperu 7 ปีที่แล้ว +216

    Move on, you deserve better. Trust me, an amazing woman will come along and treat with the respect you deserve.
    Life is too short to settle.

    • @flaigus
      @flaigus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Nola 1977 great advice. Easier said than done, but I whole heartedly agree

    • @magic7mark
      @magic7mark 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The problem is when you are the one that cause the breakup

    • @paolamaraz9579
      @paolamaraz9579 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@magic7mark I am in that situation. It was my fault...

    • @magic7mark
      @magic7mark 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@paolamaraz9579 it was hard man. After our 5 years i just realize everything but she's already gone she full of it she think i didn't value her because i did not change before . Still hoping its not to late.

    • @paolamaraz9579
      @paolamaraz9579 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@magic7mark I hope there is still a chance for you&me to show them tgat this time will be diferent...

  • @ges3061
    @ges3061 6 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    Yes, move on I know it’s hard to do but you need someone who’s going to value you as a man.

  • @joshuagrayson9356
    @joshuagrayson9356 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Man the childhood trauma DOES play a huge roll in your love life. There is no question about that! I agree 150%.

  • @android1012
    @android1012 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    "You can't continue to put this woman, who's treated you like garbage, so highly."
    Great video, Craig. I applied many of the emailers experiences to my own, which were similar. Thanks.

  • @CDGonzo65
    @CDGonzo65 7 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    She does not deserve you at all. She sounds like nothing but trouble for you. It is hard because you believed that she was the one. You can't rescue her and nor should you want to. Relationships should be equal growth for the two of you. Believe me, I know the pain.

  • @danielledanielle3566
    @danielledanielle3566 7 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    I feel very badly for the fella in this video. He is traumatized and being ghosted is an excruciating experience. It makes sense why he is stuck on his former girl.....he probably can't reconcile in his mind that the mean girl he sees around is the same girl he was with. Poor guy.

    • @ghmus7
      @ghmus7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      The real person comes out eventually

    • @mariotibbrine1
      @mariotibbrine1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      You can only put your best foot foward for so long and be a nice person to a toxic person.

  • @HeatherLee4576
    @HeatherLee4576 6 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I love how much you sympathize. Ive been to a therapist and she was very logical and didn't use any personal things. You are so passionate and sympathetic.

  • @katef4
    @katef4 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Sometimes when you love too much, it blows their ego and become too proud and rude, and make you at their mercy. I just came from that no matter how loving and caring I was. :( I did not do anything to deserve his rudeness.

    • @deepakarotiya
      @deepakarotiya 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm going through the same

    • @Tookybird22
      @Tookybird22 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes isn't it sad the harder you love some people the worse they treat you? Foul

  • @Rob-qs3xx
    @Rob-qs3xx ปีที่แล้ว +11

    There really is no other way to discribe it other than it feels like you are dying. Like someone pulled my heart right out of my chest.

  • @beautifulmoontarot8720
    @beautifulmoontarot8720 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    My ex is a narcissist, that changes everything. The lovebombing makes the love feel real to you so when the discard comes, some people will be desperately watching these videos to get the narc back when that is the LAST thing they need.

  • @CosMo0128
    @CosMo0128 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    You deserve someone who will love you and treat you well. Move forward and don’t allow this person to be in your life again. You deserve so much more and will get it with the right person. Hugs.

  • @DoctaFortySix
    @DoctaFortySix 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Don’t you just wish they’d tell you straight up they’re done with you and over you so you can just move on easier instead of trying to figure her out and try to get her back

  • @hellochips
    @hellochips 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I’ve had to do this now with a partner going through depression. I love her but she’s got a lot to get through and so much would have to change for it to work, and I just don’t see it happening any time soon but it’s hurting me to sit here thinking she’ll get better and will want me back. I actually feel better now I’ve drawn a line under it in my mind. There’s nothing there for me anymore. She also has an avoidant attachment style. I’ve been kind about it but I can’t be with somebody who shuts down, stonewalls and refuses to open up as it’s hurtful. I think when the pain outweighs the happiness, it’s hard but time to draw a line under it.

    • @kingaszeliga7886
      @kingaszeliga7886 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Omg ive gone through it now, yet it seems i cant draw a Line. And it hurts even more as we have three Kids together...

    • @Kristian-oj7qy
      @Kristian-oj7qy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I feel this. My ex is an avoidant and suffers from anxiety and depression. She was horrible at communicating however I always saw past her flaws and it made me love her more to know I was looking through these things. Well here I am, heartbroken over her because she left me. Her window of opportunity with me is closing slowly. One day I may wake up and not want her back if she reaches out to me, who knows. At least I know that I was a good partner (even though I made mistakes), I always tried to make an effort to improve the relationship (communication is what I stressed), did a lot of good things for her and really showed that I wanted the commitments and her forever. Too bad she let me go because it will be very tough for her to find a guy like me that was understanding and patient and accepted her for who she is and loved every bit of her. I’ve been focusing on being the best version of myself and to be mentally healthy. I have an anxious attachment style and I’m working on emotional self control. One day she will realize she left a good man who needed more time and practice in relationships, and she’ll also realize she was at fault for the breakup too. I hope she feels what I’m feeling. I broke up with her after 1 year together because of a fight we had and within the same week I realized that I didn’t wanna do that and I needed to communicate instead of make a decision like that. We got back together and we had a good relationship up until life caught up to us. Maybe she needs to learn the same lesson I learned when I left her. She closed off, stepped back and I kept chasing/pressuring and made some mistakes (no cheating or anything serious), I guess she saw it more worth it to leave. I’d rather make mistakes together and grow together as a couple but I guess she thought different. I hope she realizes what she had because I know a lot of girls would love a guy like me to treat them well (especially with the things I know now). Approaching 3 months NC. I can’t imagine what it would feel like as the dumper to see the person you left doing better without you and actually making changes without you. I can’t imagine laying my head down at night and thinking “did I make the right choice?” “Is he with other girls?” “Does he even want me anymore?” “Should I have just stuck it out and adhered to his plan like he said?” (I planned for us to transform our lifestyle after moving to a new place). “What if he finds someone to make him happy and she’s a good girl and is better than me?” I’m not sure if I would be able to sit quietly with those thoughts. We were together 4 years and we talked about forever and kids and house... all that. We were attached and loved each other a lot. But life goes on and these things happen for a reason. Stay strong everybody!

  • @underclassh3r058
    @underclassh3r058 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This is the video I needed! I was with my ex for 4 years and listening to the 20 minutes mark of this video, that describes my ex to the letter. My ex didn't want me to touch her. She was hot and cold with me. I was going through so much emotional pain and I moved out to discover that she was seeing my neighbor. They moved in 2 months later and blended their family.
    Here I was holding onto hope that maybe she'll come back and see the error but it all makes sense. She took my grand gestures and gifts and money during the breakup and still didn't want be to touch her or hold her hand or anything. Said that we couldn't have sex because she'd fall in love with me again. Basically a bunch of crap and now I know what a terrible human being my ex is. When I look back at when things started fading, the whole neighbor thing makes sense.
    Time to let that person go. Again, the video I needed to watch and finally put her away, out of mind. She isn't coming back. She doesn't think about me and she's on her 7th serious relationship. This is just what she does and I was caught in her path and fooled for 4 years.

  • @jonvolcaman9309
    @jonvolcaman9309 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Man. That sounds exactly like the woman I recently dated. It is obvious that there are many women who play these games to see how far they can get with manipulation and greed. I suffered greatly due to being played by a woman like this too. Lesson learned and never forgotten.

    • @SR77736
      @SR77736 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Man, guys do it all the time,too.

  • @ginag7844
    @ginag7844 7 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Hi, I have listened to most of your videos to deal with this loss. I don't want to go back because I understand logically that I feel what I do because of reasons that have nothing to do with him. The longing to want to get back to an ex has to do with trauma more that it does with love. So I know I don't love him but he met the needs that I was not able to meet for myself due to lack of self love. I am on a journey to overcome these lies that go through my head rather than to get over my ex. My ex has nothing to do with my state of being. I am on a journey to finding my healthy self and overcoming the toxic thoughts and feelings. Your videos have absolutely assisted me in dealing with so much of the junk that comes my in my head. Thank you for your vulnerability. You are such an amazing man. Thank you for everything.

    • @felicia7004
      @felicia7004 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Overcomer 2017 going to print out parts of this and read it to myself as an read it to myself as a reminder of my true journey...which is not going back to my ex lol...mental lies. So trur

    • @hellochips
      @hellochips 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Spot on! I think something we can take from these videos that I never understood before is not to mistake the pain you feel for thinking it was wrong to break up. Love simply isn’t enough, unfortunately. Without respect it doesn’t work

  • @richardrichard9953
    @richardrichard9953 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You'll be ok. I let mine go and ended up married to somebody who is way out of my league. She treats me well and loves me. She's also nicer and prettier. Plus she's not disrespectful. Work on you.

  • @akasickform
    @akasickform 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I had a similar situation happen.
    It's cold.
    It felt like my best friend died.
    They won't come back so I'm focusing on healing and making a better person out of myself.

  • @blessedfavored8032
    @blessedfavored8032 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I know the feeling it’s like someone definitely feel like someone snatch your heart out of your chest.

  • @SD_Koy
    @SD_Koy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I can't afford any one on one sessions or even the workbooks, but these videos are helping. Little over 2 weeks after the breakup, and a week of no contact (she told me she wanted to be strangers again) and today feels easier. I've talked with all of my family and friends and they all agree that I lost myself in my relationship. Learning to be myself again without her is the hardest thing.

  • @marinaaing5467
    @marinaaing5467 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is not worse than mine. It took me awhile to realize he is treating me like the way my mother did. Thanks Craig for telling it like it is, being in denial is hard to overcome

  • @jayzee9164
    @jayzee9164 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thanks for the video. I prefer to move on, live alone and never fall in love again.

  • @mog882
    @mog882 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    My parents got divorced when I was like 2-3 years old, I feel like it never bothered me, how could it not of?
    Now I’m 41 going through am awful/sad breakup, it’s the abandonment that kills me the most.

    • @legioner9
      @legioner9 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Pray to God and Jesus Christ. Trust me, it will help you very much. God never abandones you. That is why God asked everyone to love Him first and foremost. That gives us power: the love from God. I wish you all the best. Take care.

    • @TheBlanco951
      @TheBlanco951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Crying a shit ton helps. Talking to a therapist also helps. How are you doing now that 3 years have passed?

    • @danielbrown8602
      @danielbrown8602 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same issue here

  • @CorryGun
    @CorryGun 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have been in so much similar situation and today I have decided to move on, so I've unfriended my ex, deleted him from my page and now I am strongly convinced that it is the time for me to let him go. Because it affects greatly my mental state and i have realized that I want to have someone in my life who treats me with respect and values me as a person, as a human being. Don't be afraid to move on and you will have a great and amazing life ahead with a new partner who will definitely be better than your ex. I know it hurts, but love doesn't have to be so painful and terrifying. Love is a respect first of all!)

  • @marcuslopez9373
    @marcuslopez9373 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Please move on brother. You deserve a person that's going to treat you with love and respect.

  • @guywalton8827
    @guywalton8827 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I’ve lost my job and the love of my life has gone from worshipping the ground I walk on just over 24hrs ago, saying she’ll never leave me, to us having an argument and suddenly sending me a text ending it and then going on to blocking me on everything. No explanation nothing. Now my heads completely fkd. I don’t know what’s going on. Since then she’s acting like she hates me. That was yesterday. Now I’ve stopped contacting her. I’m so hurt and I miss the kids terribly. That with losing my job too.....is too much. I feel utterly worthless and I’ve already tried to end it. Craig thank you for your words, but I can’t afford what equates to almost £350 per hour. That’s nuts. And neither can the average guy. But I’m done.

    • @ch1bob
      @ch1bob 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      U ok?

    • @SFBay69
      @SFBay69 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      u there?

    • @cherylwoodford
      @cherylwoodford 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Guy Walton I agree $399 an hour is crazy high. I have found Alan Robarge to be helpful. You can join an online group for less than $30 a month. He’s got tons of TH-cam videos.

    • @Longbyname
      @Longbyname 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Guy, gotta keep your head above the water. I appreciate it’s difficult but you’ve got to take each day as it comes. She’s walked away from you, let her go because what goes around, comes around. So, each day, keep moving and you never know what is around the corner. You don’t need to pay £350 mate, just keep moving forward.
      Fake it before you make it.

  • @sic2mystomach
    @sic2mystomach 7 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    She has daddy issues! That's why she dated someone so much older anyway. He is obviously stalking her. Let her go.

  • @emiliohernandez4615
    @emiliohernandez4615 7 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    it's been 11 months for me and past 2 months have been pretty bad, the feeling or needing and missing are back, but I see other people struggling with it. and like many of this people I just want to move on since she already has 😞 it's like a sickness you can't rid of. I want to smile and live but I can't, my kids need me, I wish I didn't have to see her anymore but we have kids. so yeah it really sucks.

    • @calvinpeake8672
      @calvinpeake8672 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Emilio Hernandez damn I feel the same way smh!!!+

    • @JamesTyreeII
      @JamesTyreeII 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know what you are going through Emilio. I have a son who needs me and it has been 7 months and it is hard

    • @MindDeMancilla
      @MindDeMancilla 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m going through the same pain right now and he is as cool as a cucumber because he’s moved on... This pain hasn’t gone away ..It’s been 6mos. 😭 I know once i heal and move on myself i will think how silly i was for dwelling on this for as long as i have but i don’t know life without him. We been together at 18 to 35 this was my life

    • @DanaAst
      @DanaAst 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MindDeMancilla It has been 3.5 years for me, and I still feel like my heart is ripped out. I'm not saying to discourage you, my mental health is unique.

    • @adrip7537
      @adrip7537 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same situation as you with my soon to be x husband. Hang in there, hope you are doing better.

  • @deliz0771
    @deliz0771 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    She is looking for a guy that will treat her like her dad. Stay strong and try to move on and take things one day at a time.

  • @staceyswope3438
    @staceyswope3438 6 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    “Ruthless!!” Lol Listen to Coach!! Move on, please. You really do deserve better and will find better!!!!

  • @meskalinas1
    @meskalinas1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I didnt like you , Craig, at first but the more i listen to you the more i like you. It;s good to know that most of the suffer comes from childhood's unconsciousness. I believe it's good to dive deep inside so you can understand where it is coming from and get released . Even this knowledge helps to feel better.

  • @gabrielcantu6506
    @gabrielcantu6506 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Since this was an older post, no one may see my comment. Anyway, i was Married for 36years. My wife left me 2 years ago. She is now with someone else. Even though we are still Married. Im no longer as upset as i have been. The reason is ive been enlightened on the real differences between men and women. Men fall in deep love with their mate and will sacrifice everything to make them as happy as they can. Women will never love Anyone more than themselves. So a woman Will move on if they find something better. They are not being Deliberately cruel. Thats just the way they are made. That should help with the guilt and pain that we suffer. Its Not us men. Its just the way it is. Sadly. Be strong and go on.

  • @maybugz
    @maybugz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are bang on with childhood traumas coming back. I've always believed what we experience as a kid stays with us for ever. For me it was years of being bullied from about 5-12

  • @katef4
    @katef4 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I hate RUDE and DIFFICULT people who make you feel you are at their mercy!

  • @jchess78
    @jchess78 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My ex got married 5 weeks after our break up. I didn’t want to move on but it’s looking hopeless. It hurts like hell

    • @jameschitwood656
      @jameschitwood656 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same lol, after 9 yrs. How are you doing now?

  • @Madmart54
    @Madmart54 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    It’s hard to accept and painful-but Move On as painful as it is. Work through the processes/ball your eyes out/accept it’s totally over painful as it is!/ I thought my faith snd vows bound me and my wife of 20 years together! Unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way! Accept it/it will half kill you/move on/and rise like a Phoenix! 🙏

  • @rn2811
    @rn2811 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This guy sounds needy and insecure and the chick clearly has mommy and daddy issues. You want to avoid those women at all cost there very passive aggressive and have narcissistic qualities and she did you a favor.

  • @kayccarp7195
    @kayccarp7195 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    another great video,craig. I can relate. it IS painful trying to let go. this guy does deserve better. he's just blinded by the pain. in time it will heal, and hel find someone who values him as much as he values her. thanks for this story.

  • @SancLunatic
    @SancLunatic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This guy has the love demon in his head. It's horrible. Poor dude.

  • @psalms1163
    @psalms1163 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Unconditional love cannot be ended, but it can be redirected elsewhere...

    • @pmdal
      @pmdal ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Beautiful!tears in my eyes

  • @glenndower2513
    @glenndower2513 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Listen to Coach Craig.
    He gives hard truth at times along with encouragement.
    None of this "Wait 30 days then trick your ex by making her jealous" crap!
    Men of honor don't do that.
    Men of honor don't trick people or manipulate them.
    Coach Craig has been where we are.
    He shares his hard won experience.
    He is on our side, in our corner.
    He gives a lot of advice for free here on YT and offers a newsletter in addition.
    He has what I call "3rd person objectivity" which means he has perspective.

  • @sarahhensley2088
    @sarahhensley2088 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I've been in my newly dissolved relationship for 10+ years. I had to break it off due to extreme anger and depression on his part. I still love him so much, but I had to get away from all that pain. I keep holding out hope that he will get help and we can try again. But I'm not sure he will. I should probably just cut it and move on but I'm having trouble.

  • @petermike222
    @petermike222 6 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Craig... he obviously is telling you what he wants you to hear.. this guy probably did some stuff to creep her out. there is always 2 sides to every story.

    • @op2001
      @op2001 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      This is a good point.

  • @None_of_your_business666
    @None_of_your_business666 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    After years of being toxic with yet another girlfriend i was able to put together all my issues and realize i had to let her go. Both for me and her. Maybe life turns around and we meet again, but shes happier now and i wish her well.

  • @npkrn6764
    @npkrn6764 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Not that we should blanketly judge people for their toxic or disordered parents or families, BUT, toxicity begets toxicity. Assholes beget assholes. Not always, of course, but be VERY, VERY, VERY careful about becoming involved seriously with someone with a family history like that. The minute you hear of their upbringing, learn to ask questions to see if they answer in a way that shows they have worked through all of it. If you see that they haven't, keep your feelings in check, keep it casual and continue to see others or just move on. Quickly.

  • @robertdircks6949
    @robertdircks6949 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm so glad I watched this my mom and dad where heroin attic's both where alwasy in jail never seen my dad he died when I was 11 years old now I know why this is so hard for me I'm coming out of a very long marriage like three days ago after trying really hard but after watching your vids I understood a lot better I am feeling a lot better this morning thank you very much

  • @flaigus
    @flaigus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I’ve really been struggling with the separation from my ex and I never really though it’s in the same vein as my father leaving me when I was 2. It all makes perfect sense I guess

  • @jaymeburrows216
    @jaymeburrows216 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    See I think the hardest part is that I want to have the workbooks and email sessions so bad but there's no way I can afford it. I struggle with depression and I'm so inexperienced and so Im really excited to have found this channel but there's so many questions I have.. I'm about to be 18 in December and I'm in independent living. With rent, phone bills and doctors appointments I never have enough left over money to buy the workbooks!
    Ive been saving for a while now, almost five weeks trying to buy the vol. 1-5 set and so far, I've only been able to save $32. But it's worth it, I'm so excited to be able to get these books!

  • @jinxlee8556
    @jinxlee8556 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Today is the day I have to move on from my relationship. She is not worth it. I gave all I had and she was not worth the drama I got in return. It is her loss. I was the best man she ever had. Compared to the men she is used to. Who all used and abused her. And she sabotaged the relationship. Breaking it up 5 times in 5 years. Last year I only was able to be with her 4 months out of the year in 2019. January through April. And she broke up with me because her brother was uncomfortable with me visiting her house. He moved in and told her to enforce a rule that I had to have his permission first. I said NO. She said give me back my key. I said OK. I am glad to be out of that relationship now. Feeling free after 5 years! I am good looking and not broke. Her loss.

  • @op2001
    @op2001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think the guy from the vid was stalking her. I think there is more to the story then what the guy is telling. He isn't moving on six months later.

  • @carlfreiermuth5424
    @carlfreiermuth5424 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Let me guess... he was overly "nice" to her. Put her on the highest pedestal. So part of her liked it. He fed her ego... it grew. She started to value him less the more he was willing to put up with her teases and tests. What was once playful banter now turned into testing. Why? Because his insecurities became obvious to her. It takes two to tango. His "nice" behavior as he saw it was really a form of manipulation. As she starts to avoid the manipulation, his anxiety rises and he looks weaker and weaker. Obviously very insecure. He then feels he needs her and only her to fulfill his needs as if she's the greatest thing (object) since sliced bread. Objectification and the anxious avoidant trap per say. The more he tries to force contact the more she feels the need to push him away and she will resort to what she must. He literally chased her into the arms of another. Both partners were obviously insecure and emotionally immature including the new guy she went to. That's why they fused so quickly or are attempting to at least. So she used him for validation... well he offered it. Besides he also apparently was relying on her for validation which is why it went down the way it did. Imagine giving a child candy before dinner and then blaming the child for eating it.

  • @disorder_go
    @disorder_go 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really struggle with break ups. I don't remember any separation anxiety from childhood. My parents had a great relationship.

  • @adrianaxcx777
    @adrianaxcx777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    At 20:52 that part got me laughing...
    I came to this video feeling like...okay it's time for me to review letting go... but omg as you read the guys email you had me cracking up
    ... not because of what he went through cuz that was painful.. but you got me laughing so much with your commentary
    The guy said I never thought I'd meet anyone like her...and you said the same but other reasons cuz she was the rudest and treated him non human😅 the way you said it.
    I love you coach craig.. your videos mean so much to me and i love your sense of humor

  • @willfade7994
    @willfade7994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I feel for the guy in this video. I had an ex once act like he didn't even know who I was in public when I ran into him out cheating on me with someone. The pain was indescribable. I left in tears only to get a text from him the next day, but I had to end it. Never even consider being friends with someone who disrespects you so cruelly straight to your face. He needs to cut off all contact, unfriend her on social media, delete her number and try to regain some self respect. He sounds like a guy with a good heart. When he finally walks away and gives himself time to mourn the death of that connection, he will in time meet someone worthy of him. As for the woman who treated him so horribly, karma's a bitch! What goes around does come around. I hope she gets treated as badly as she treated you and when she comes back wanting forgiveness, I hope your feelings for her have gone cold by then. Don't give that one another chance to hurt you again.
    🙏🏻

    • @Hookah_Horns
      @Hookah_Horns ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow, what a piece of shit that guy was. I can't even imagine my S.O. pretending to not know who I am while with someone else. My head would explode.

  • @joehaber9835
    @joehaber9835 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This girls problems are just beginning .

  • @audrey4150
    @audrey4150 ปีที่แล้ว

    My ex was seeing someone else behind my back for about two months still telling me that we had a trip planned. I’m crushed.

  • @psalms1163
    @psalms1163 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Craig..

  • @annkatrinengjom6420
    @annkatrinengjom6420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It has been so long now, it is really hard to let him go but we have not talked in more than a year. He just did not want me and it hurts. I wish I could stop loving him, but I guess its going to take a lot of time getting over a 5 year relationship.

    • @ShannonThor.
      @ShannonThor. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here. 11 months. Nothing. Hurts.

  • @stephaniel.a.7124
    @stephaniel.a.7124 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are SO Lucky you saw that! Because imagine not and being lied to and strung along without any clarity

  • @psalms1163
    @psalms1163 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It seem like he is the one that is driving her to the new guy by stalking her..

  • @DreamTheaterFan
    @DreamTheaterFan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    How did you overcome that childhood trauma? I'm adopted, and now that you mention this, I realize that I certainly have a lot of difficulty dealing with breakups during my life. Please, help me me.

  • @charlesturner6131
    @charlesturner6131 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    He’s executing stalker behavior he didn’t just so happen to be walking past her 2ice

  • @lr2511
    @lr2511 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I wish it was easier to just go .... I’m so happy alone but don’t want to be alone 😏

  • @vinikett9114
    @vinikett9114 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Its been almost 3 years now. I still feel we both could get together. But she hasn't made a single effort from her side in all these 3 years. Not even a text or call. But i still somehow feel that she inside her heart loves me crazily!.........Is this false hope? if Yes,How do i stop hoping?

    • @frangtube5487
      @frangtube5487 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Find a new girl man , your ex is gone

    • @vinikett9114
      @vinikett9114 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@frangtube5487 feels so good now....seeing this.....i've finally let everything go.....And let karma do its thing....i don't even want her back anymore.....i mean there's no reason to...even if she comes back herself!!!!!

    • @frangtube5487
      @frangtube5487 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@vinikett9114 she maybe already broken up with many man in this 3 year period of time without even thinking about you once, so dont worry, build your life, build ur health, then you will get a better girl than ur ex, then make her regret about her disition of leaving you.

  • @maylinn4068
    @maylinn4068 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I continiue a little . During this period he suddenly asked for divorce . I could not understand why . I had accepted that he «needed « peace and that he lived there . I did not bother him much ,
    I just feel for it he said .
    The question is . Is this normal ?

  • @susangulrajani9877
    @susangulrajani9877 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    please be kind to yourself and move away from this toxic person. value yourself.

  • @ManuB3581
    @ManuB3581 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I feel bad for that guy, that woman is mean . As mean as it gets . Is she an avoidant ?? Why would any normal person behave this way ? I am really sorry to hear about this story, hope he found someone who values him and deserves a good guy .

  • @psalms1163
    @psalms1163 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great video bro

  • @baggergurl16
    @baggergurl16 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m only speaking for myself and this is from my own experience but when it comes to the end of a relationship I start to let go the minute the other person tells me it’s over. Now it’s not an overnight thing as the break up goes on and my interaction with that person becomes less and less that’s when I start letting go.

  • @brandonmartin4044
    @brandonmartin4044 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Omg,I just went through almost exactly the same scenario. I'm in my 30s and dated someone ten years younger. Told me she loved me after our first date. We had so much in common even down to some of my oddball choices in music and television that even people my age don't like she would seem to like as well. Several friends tried to tell me throughout our relationship that she was using me to get pregnant because she wanted a baby so bad. She's always say the sweetest things but she would never put any action behind anything it was always a chore just to Meetup. Finally after like 4 months she still wouldn't move in with me but she kept wanting me to get her pregnant so I gave her an ultimatum and ultimately she chose that she didn't want to live with me and I chose that I didn't want a baby with someone who couldn't make a commitment. A week later I felt bad about The Break-Up and tried to contact her and she wouldn't even have anything to do with me even though a month earlier we had looked at wedding rings Etc. I think some women out there or just manipulative and use men and when they're done within they throw them away like a dirty rag and have no conscious about it. You're much better off without this chick!

    • @Pattie-o7f
      @Pattie-o7f 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      you didnt want the same things and shes too naive and immature. You didnt really know her and you were trying to manipulate her too. She was mirroring you when she likes everything you like. You dodged a bullet shes sounds like a narcissist or physcopath.

  • @jaygauld85
    @jaygauld85 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sounds just like my experience. I split with my ex after over 6 months of up and down emotions, she told me things making me believe she was happy to cheat, but always told me "if you cheat, I'll break your s**t" seemed like she didn't think it was cheating....?!

    • @jaygauld85
      @jaygauld85 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@biancadelarosa7986 please delete these comments or I will report you for spamming

  • @kanenufc873
    @kanenufc873 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think its time for me to move on, i was in NC for 10 months, i reached out, only talked for 5-6 weeks and then i got blocked, yes i was needy/clingy but i tried explaining to her why i was and she didnt have any of it. Blocked me out of her life. I think its time for me to move on as her mental health has got worse n worse with suicidal thoughts, drinking to feel emotions, ADHD and so much more..

    • @tonyruiz8552
      @tonyruiz8552 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’ll find someone when you least expect it that will love you! Stay strong and focus on yourself!

    • @kanenufc873
      @kanenufc873 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@tonyruiz8552 Thank you friend, ive already got a date this week with someone new, should be interesting!

    • @tonyruiz8552
      @tonyruiz8552 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kanenufc873 nice! Take it slow!

    • @kanenufc873
      @kanenufc873 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tonyruiz8552 Will do! This is my first date with a new girl in like 3 years, bit nervous but we'll see how it goes

  • @OiVinn-eq1ml
    @OiVinn-eq1ml ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Listening to this was funny 😆. He should definitely move on. No one should be treated like this.

  • @antrask1
    @antrask1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Yes, please move on. You gave your heart too quickly. But ask yourself this question: Why were you so attracted to a woman so much younger than you, and why was she attracted to a man so much older than her? It doesn't matter that she "said" she was not bothered by the age difference, but it looks as if she may have been treating you as a "father figure", to replace the one that deserted her. You said you supported her, I'm thinking you meant financially. You mentioned you were the best of friends. Unfortunately, you fell in love with her and did not see the signs of reciprocation from her. If she was equally in love with you, she would have moved in with you, in a heartbeat! Some women can date men for an extended length of time without "being in love" with them. Unfortunately, she was just in "friends zone" with you while you were in love with her. Her new boyfriend may be doing things that guys her age like to do which attracted her -- sometimes older guys cannot really relate. And if you were providing financial support, this can be misconstrued as what a "father figure" might do. And if so, this would explain why she started avoiding you so blatantly, if you were providing her financial support. She does not want to deal with the fact that she owes you and that you may be trying to "collect on a debt". So I would chalk this one up to a learning experience and tread a little more carefully next time. Take time to really get to know her before giving her your heart. There are so many women out there looking for a wonderful, giving man like you...

    • @Mancer1980
      @Mancer1980 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The age gap isn't the issue, it's the fact that she's damaged goods and she's dumping all of her problems and traumas on him. He'll bounce back strong, and she's in for a hard, hard lesson.

  • @Bakmeiredfist
    @Bakmeiredfist 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    At 26 minutes you said she is the rudest and most disrespectful. Nah, if only you knew my X. Lilith has nothing on her.

  • @joshcourtois9556
    @joshcourtois9556 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    6 months since The Break-Up and you still want her back? Im so sorry this happened to you sir. You dos not deserve that. Its time to move on and yes you can do it!!!

  • @ChrisHavok
    @ChrisHavok 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    19:09 I don’t know why but this made me laugh so hard 😂

  • @camellia8625
    @camellia8625 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If he were in fact stalking her, she was doing the right thing by completely ignoring him.
    If he wasn’t stalking, perhaps she feels guilt for overlapping her relationships and/or doesn’t wish to face up to it.

  • @williamrieder4833
    @williamrieder4833 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yea defntly move on,I am going through the same thing and believe it or not mine is worse,I just half to get the nerve to move on,and it’s a living hell,but yes get away from that situation .go no contact permanently .

  • @mabXgod
    @mabXgod 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Virtually ghosting him? More like she deleted him out of her memory xD

  • @v.89G
    @v.89G 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How to handle partner who got problems but don't like to talk about psychology etc?

  • @thtboirich_
    @thtboirich_ 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Smart idea of this video I really need it thanks Craig 👍🏼👏🏾

  • @nathantrujillo471
    @nathantrujillo471 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It's a EVIL world out there - Future

  • @BillijeanS442
    @BillijeanS442 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes, it is. But it also hurts just living without him.

  • @cindyg3396
    @cindyg3396 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Leave Mary alone!

  • @EM-ps4kr
    @EM-ps4kr 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    My husband’s new co-worker’s wife acted like this. We called her rbf after many attempts to get her to be friendly (when forced to interact). It was so awkward. It got really weird so I found him a new job.

  • @strongertogetherfitness193
    @strongertogetherfitness193 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What did this guy expect she’s 20 years younger .. She hasn’t really started her life at 20. there not faithful I’m not saying none of them are . But it’s very rare ..

  • @nazarbeiar840
    @nazarbeiar840 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hey, what are your thoughts on the case like this:
    "I don't know the future. But I don't think I can love you again. But if I saw you I would be happy to catch up."

  • @joshcourtois9556
    @joshcourtois9556 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Man this one is way crazy funny. I'm sorry dude. Forget her man!

  • @fitzmagic1
    @fitzmagic1 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This guy may have been a stalker. That explains the constant "accidental" run-ins and her not responding to her and blocking him after she saw him.. there's a lot this man could be leaving out..

  • @libbynovotny9979
    @libbynovotny9979 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    my dad died when I was 14 years old and never processed it all .....so many narcissists i have known now, 3 men

  • @matthewrichards88
    @matthewrichards88 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I begged her, and pushed her away for good. I didn't think we can be friends she said. after crazy phone calls she said don't contact me again and blocked me from everywhere. hurts because I've known her for 13 years. hardest part for me is not ever hearing or seeing her again, even though she is the one who ended the relationship out of no where :(

    • @kyokokirigiri100
      @kyokokirigiri100 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What happened? Did you ever hear from her?

  • @livinggood6876
    @livinggood6876 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    People date, then they decide to bail to "trade up," its brutal out there! We have to take care of ourselves, respect is basic.

  • @Afrocyber2010
    @Afrocyber2010 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Been with mine for 10 years with 2 kids. Got engaged etc but I took her for granted I guess and she asked for space apart. We have been apart for 2 years now but first year she game keys for her new place and I used to stay there a couple nights a week. We even spent Xmas with her family, went weekend trips together with the kids and just 4 moths ago she was going to her Mums and asked to go she said OK But for about 9 moths ago I am no longer allowed to stay over and she said she needs her own space and I really need to move on. Its hard to let it go especially when kids are involved. She told me she has been chatting with someone else but say it's just chatting but I just don't care anymore even though it hurt as hell. I am lost but need the strength and encouragement from anyone.

  • @suzanne9695
    @suzanne9695 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Such an important topic I wish there was more content and advice from you rather than hearing emails from your clients. Not trying to be rude just giving honest feedback