If they were honest when you were together and you felt that they loved you, I don't see why you can't be together again. Love does really happen, believe it or not.
Exactly! If you were truly in love why can’t you just talk things out. Don’t fucking abandon your partner and leave them in the dark to have all this anxiety. Especially after months/years being together?! I really don’t get it
@@brandominoeffect My love of my life, my partner in crime, my fiance, my lover and my best friend dumped me after 7 years together over 3 months ago She is gone for ever 😒 She took most of my heart with her as well 💔 She is most likely with another man or men..... Isnt life just fantastic!?
Also take this time, while being in no contact, to know if you really still love your ex. Don't just think about what your ex might be feeling, assess yours too. The road is long, don't panic.
Reached out after 5 weeks because I hit a point where I was happy with myself and feel like I had gotten myself together. I reached out saying that It had been a while and I wanted to check in. I told them that I was being respectful of her space and gave her time and told her that I also needed that time and space to grow and reflect. I said that they didn’t have to respond and I wasn’t angry or bitter or had any negative feelings and that I was open to the idea of talking again if or when she was ready. I sent it two days ago and as of writing this haven’t received a response. But I went into this not excepting one. My whole mindset going into no contact was to get myself back and because I had gotten to that point I was confident in myself and felt that I had nothing to lose. Could I have waited a bit longer sure, but I’m at the point to where sending out that text wasn’t for her it was for me because I had nothing to lose. Some may think that I should’ve just stayed in no co fact forever but I feel relieved after sending that text because it was like I was finally 100% letting go of her and my tone of the text was confidence and strength not chasing, or sadness. It’s all about your mindset.
Yeah I feel you but you shouldn't did that. You have to move on since the very first moment. Knowing that maybe in a future things could change but only focusing on yourself, not in her coming back. Don't worry, world won't finish because of that but you have to consider this from now.
I fully understand your thought process. We need closure. But 5 weeks wasn't long enough but still, if it allowed you to move on, that's good! If you were more inclined to get her back though, then it wasn't long enough. I know, I'm at the 4 week mark and damn it's hard to resist ha ha. But I will. Coach Lee mentions often that after 2.5 months then there's nothing to lose. Either we reignite the process, or we get closure. Either way, it's better than limbo. I'll wait till then if she hasn't reached out first.
@@MVProfitshow did it go when you reached out? im also in the 3-4 week mark and it is tempting. very tempting to just check in. i want to wait for a month and a half or a two months as well. How did yours go?
@@ezekielv2479 Wait more, for sure. As for me, it didn't go well in that no coming back together. But I did get partial closure. It's just weird as she is set in her decision, yet obviously still has feelings for me. She won't see me physically as she basically fears I can "charm her back". Hence the partial closure. Still, it's much better than being in limbo and not knowing.
My ex said she loved me but was not in love with me. She was scared and fearful of opening her heart I feel, but deep down i know she really cares about me and has love for me. Im on day 3 of NC and Im dying to have her back. Trying to stay strong with each day - thank you Coach Lee for your words
@@itsBenzie I don't know if that is worse than not hearing from them at all. I know I'd become emotional if mine said that and again left. Mine won't do that as our breakup was bad for no reason after he woke up from sleeping. I'm still puzzled til this day. One thing for sure is....I still love him and do miss him 😢
It's all a matter of time. Be patient. Wait until you're ready to accept the consequences. They may never return. No contact is more about yourself than the ex. Trust yourself and work on yourself. You'll be better and overall stronger in the long run.
You're right in that it's not a guarantee because you're dealing with people and not math problems. But chasing them after they've dumped you certainly doesn't work. Forcing yourself back into their life when they've asked you to leave it doesn't work. That doesn't mean that at some point you can't reach out but giving them that initial time and space is extremely important. When someone breaks up with you, you need to let them experience the breakup so they can see the negatives and hopefully come back to you. If the relationship wasn't good or they aren't that attached to you in the first place, the odds are less strong that no contact will work. But I've seen it work so many times in such powerful ways that can't be ignored.
Then they never wanted you really... if they wanted you no1 could talk them out of it🤷🏽♀️I say move on and be happy without them.. if they listen to other people they are probably always going to be like that... stay in NC and move on...
@@RealCoachLee hello Coach Lee how r u hope u ok ..I'm NC w my ex again I broke it twice ..big mistake didn't get me no where ...iay never see him again just because he's been so mean so many times ....
My ex back coach I am a big fan of your channel and videos. They are a motivating force to all dumpees around the world. Thank you for your work. All the best from Portugal. Keep up the good work.
No contact takes alot of courage because it hurts alot having to stay away from the person you actually want to be talking to all the time.. it sucks I hope it helps me heal..
So I’m friends with my ex’s roommate... we were out for coffee, and a topic of conversation was my ex (they brought it up). I explained that I had listened to what my ex said (they said they wanted to be alone for now). The roommate told me my ex was too anxious to reach out, and that they think I hate them. I ask if it’s even a good idea to reach out; the roommate said they think it’s a great idea. I loved your advice Coach Lee, thank you for teaching me to do the mature thing.
I actually replied to your rebound relationship video and have now watched this one. I see a running theme throughout your videos. You preach to end things off with your ex in a very calm, peaceful and confident manner, which increases your chances of them reconsidering or at least doubting there decision down the line, but, for those of us who stuck around a little too long after the breakup, when we were no longer welcome or wanted, where does that leave us in terms of future reconciliation? If we did make the breakup not a pleasant experience for them, how does one go about repairing that?
Dan, thanks for your comment. What I usually suggest in that type of situation, though I don't know all of your details, is to find a way to contact them. Maybe it's writing a letter. And apologize for how you handled the breakup. Tell them that you respect their decision and wish them the best going forward. Sign it and go into NC. Because of the situation, you are very limited since you said she is in a committed relationship. She might show it to him, it might cause drama, etc. But little is truly without risk. A letter or email of that nature can be a small reset and, if you keep your word, can rebuild your image in the mind of your ex. Then, if the relationship she is currently in fails, you that hurdle no longer exists to getting back together with you. Again, I wish you the best and I'm very sorry that you are in this situation. I know it hurts.
My situation is similar it ended with me pleading when she was ending it and apologizing to me saying it wasnt her intentjon to hurt me but shes with somoene else now, not interested anymore in me and that it would be last time we spoke. I did more pleading 2 days later with a 2 page written letter saying it seemed impossible to forget her, that i would probably always love her and lots of pleading not begging tho...which made her furious to the point that she even blocked me (was unblocked 40 days later tho before her bday). I basically never accepted the breakup in theory nor did i apologize for how i handled the breakup ( but did for my mistakes during our time) and im already at almost 2 months NC.. so i feel like its too late to apologize like u say right? Also feels like chances of her contacting me are zero.. im a noob thinking letters, flowers, feelings and words would touch her heart but i forgot this generation is dead inside. They prefer to rebound quickly instead of repairing
@@RealCoachLeeI love these videos but don’t see the point in continuing to watch them as you are no longer doing coaching calls and my actual situation is so different to any of these scenarios 😢
After a 5yr relationship, she said she needs to focus on her & her daughter (she graduates in June.) said she’s not talking to anyone. She said I didn’t show her enough attention, but the day prior she was wanting me still. Everything you’ve said is spot on. I’ve been in NC 2 weeks, only exchanged short text as she helps me with administration stuff for my business. I saw she went out with her bff who’s single and hooks up with guys all the time. At this point, I’m really happy without her and feel like she should have respected what all I had done for her. Your content is great & very helpful. Thanks for what you do. Do you offer calls for classes as well?
I read on magnet of success that dumpers stages post break almost run in reverse to the dumpees and the genuine regret occurs, if it occurs, way down the road after they’ve passed neutrality where they see the good sides. Two months is just not enough time. I think 3 months in my ex is only just getting into the swing of being single. I suspect She knows she can click and have me back. It’ll take a while for her to doubt how I still feel I think. Also re nothing to lose I think you do have a lot to lose as it can hurt and set you back if they have moved on or God forbid met someone else when you contact them.
Coach Lee is right. Another self-calling “ex whisperer” has an elaborate system of texts and tricks to lure your ex back to communicating with you, but by his own admission they get together and in 50% of cases break up again.
Great video! I was just about close to breaking and reaching out to him a few minutes ago but you've convinced me to stay strong and keep going with NC. Thank you!
deepika. Good idea! The same goes for HER also! If you stay NO Contact for 45-60 days, that is terrific. I want to tell you about Coach Lee’s Workshop which I highly recommend for you. It's excellent and POWERFUL. know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
I adore my ex boyfriend. That is why I haven’t broken no contact until last night. My ex hasn’t heard a peep out of me for 45 days. It’s a long story but his mental illness is part of why he might be afraid to contact me. Part of me feels I have nothing to lose at this point. So I sent a small message on Instagram. And that was it it was short and sweet just to let him know that I am not going to bite his head off if he is to get in contact with me. As I am not angry at all whatsoever at this point. The distance helped me realize certain things about our relationship that I was partially blind to at the time. In that time, I journaled a lot. Actually I still am. It will help me to communicate my feelings to him when/if we speak again. Otherwise I am taking care of my home, myself, getting therapy, my grown children need attention too. Also there are other prospects that I’ve ignored through the time that I was with my ex. However I still have very strong feelings for him that I am working through. Thank you Coach Lee for the strength that your videos have given me over this time
My BEAUTIFUL QUEEN of 17 mos & I Broke up 10 days ago. We were engaged. Day 5 of NC. She suffers from Bi Polar. Dealt with alot in 17 mos. I did alot of research on BP. We dance about 3-4 x's a month to our 2 favorite songs. I'm always the one to initiate the dance. Same with making Love! I asked her a few weeks ago Why is it always me who initiates it? Her Reply, "I'm afraid you will reject me!" I said Baby No matter what we going thru I will Never reject You! On Sun I text her & Apologized if I said things that hurt her. Mon she text me Apologized for not showing her Love & making it more clearer. That evening I text her told her we had something special, I loved her & we needed to work it out. No Response. Monday is my Birthday, I don't expect a text. Next week she will visit family for Thanksgiving so she probably won't even think of me. One thing in my favor her Mom told her "He's a Keeper!' SO maybe Mom might help out! But I'm afraid if she feels I will reject her, I wouldn't, she won't reach out!!!
67 days of no contact ... Its one of those days when I am missing my ex suddenly outof nowhere after being fine for awhile ,I know that she is not right for me now but my heart still wants to hear form her... I just wana move on ...
@James Bond I hope it gets better for you,I found someone else though and this person is really a perfect match for me so I'm getting marrid next year ,so the break up seems to have been for the better ,she didn't call me though mayb I would have liked to hear from her just once mayb even just to know hows she doing but I have just made peace with that and made peace with being okey with mayb never hearing from again I did try to sms her twice after 4 months and later after 7 or 8 months but no reply
Too late messed up too many times....even had things good and then asked someone about the situation and they told me to send a dumb text and I sent it on accident -.- I heard back but I think it only solidified her decision. (She said wasn't involved in church enough, don't have enough friends, and didn't like a kiss we had + hope it helps me move on)
Hey coach, I love your videos. I think they are very helpful. My boyfriend broke up with me at the end of may, after being in a relationship together for 4,5 years. It was brutal. He had been feeling something was 'off' for months, didn't discuss this with me because he didn't want something to be off for himself. Came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with me at all. It was completely 'his problem'. Didn't feel enthusiastic about being in the relationship anymore, didn't look forward to meeting each other like he used to. Felt like I was like home to him, which is an amazing compliment, but he kept thinking: is that it? Is that enough? He felt like he SHOULD feel more enthusiasm, felt guilty towards me constantly because I was enthusiastic still. He was so upset. Torn apart. Knew what he would give up losing me. An amazing bonde, I was his best friend, his favorite person in the world, his lover... In times when he was depressed and isolated himself from the world, I was the only one who was there for him all the time. It was the hardest decision for him to make ever. Said "Maybe in a year I wake up and realize this is the biggest mistake I made in life", but he couldn't continue being with me just based on this fear. He would get unhappy. He felt like he was too young to be in a steady relationship like this (we are 24). ...I am so confused. He still loves me a LOT. He was still crazy about me too, but felt like our roads had to seperate so. ...We've been doing no contact on purpose 4 weeks after the break up, I contacted him shortly 3 weeks after because I wanted to know if he missed me. Said he did of course, it was hard, but that time apart made him realize it was for the better for him. Then after 4 weeks we came together, I picked up my stuff at his house and returned his. We were still in love... After that day I messaged him some things until he said I needed to let go of this.. Or I would make it harder for the both of us.. I replied that I understood, thanked him for replying, said I didn't intend to keep sending him messages, that I would leave him alone. And it's what I have been doing for nearly +4 weeks now.. No contact. Do you think this is the right thing to do? We are still friends on Facebook... He can still see my pictures when I post them. But that's about it...
Steph, you are still doing the right thing. Think about it, you told him you'd leave him alone and not contact him. If you break your word, you aren't looking honest, strong, or attractive. And it gives him no incentive to reach out to you because he knows that you'll just reach out to him at some point anyway (which deeply hurts attraction). So stay backed off. Let him lose the ability to expect you to reach out to him. Watch this video all the way to the end: th-cam.com/video/2v_9UTypfCs/w-d-xo.html&lc=Ugw-vSZhpo2H4O_z5-x4AaABAg
Thank you so much for answering! I have watched the video and will most likely watch it repeatedly. I really do hope that at some point he will reach out, considering he is everything but impulsive and will probably aside of everything, have a giant feeling of guilt towards me for breaking up.. Lol....
Yes, if that is what he truly is. No contact works best to re-attract emotionally healthy people who value relationships because they will miss you in their life whereas the only time it works on a narcissist is when it hurts their ego enough or if they aren't completely narcissistic but only have tendencies.
@@3lewi Well maybe a few weeks then we spoke for 5 mins then another few weeks. We also work together so at around the 6 week mark I started seeing him at work. Anyway we are back together everything is better than ever.
I think I just started to focus more on myself and I really had to surrender to the fact that I may just lose him (but I really was like no he is losing me). I was almost about to go on another date and said look we get back together or I'm going on a date next week... And he's like maybe we will have a chance in the future. I'm not ready... I said there won't be a chance. And we got back together that day. We met up a couple times and it became very clear that we hated being apart. He did sleep with someone 3 weeks after we broke up and definitely regretted it. This doesn't come up for us at all but these things happen. All and all we had a extremely close friendship we just lacked effective communication between one another during heated arguments. We didn't listen as well as we could have and we judged far too much. We don't really fight anymore. And learnt that if we disagree it's best to try and understand the other person an make compromises and to catch ourselves when we are displaying any sort of pride.
My ex just reached out on day 24 of No Contact. She texted me, and told me that her 23-year old daughter was getting married that day; that “she wanted to tell me” about it; and ended with “Cariños” (which means Loving regards). I responded with 2 lines: That I wished them the best; and to tell her daughter that. She wrote: “Sure, thanks!” And I just wrote back: “Ok.” That was it, 7 days ago.
after two months NC is still nothing from her .. tears began to dry up, the heart has begun to numb. hope fades ... don't wait for something uncertain .... get up and move on
I begged and pleaded for 3 weeks. Went almost 1 week no contact and then he contacted me. I ended up finding out he’s dating someone he cheated on me with. Now, I’m at a point where I don’t even know if I want him anymore, but it’s hard to shut off my feelings.
LDR is so hard, and I am not sure that NC working. After a month after our breakup I already saw him on the dating app we met. I was so hurt, broke my heart for the second time. He's quite stubborn and was clear that we have already concluded and there is no longer a negotiation between us. I still miss him every day but I am trying my best to stay NC.
While I am doing NC and in mean time what if someone is making my ex feel better about life and helping her to get over of me ?? This will make her completely over me and i will lose her forever which i am afraid of 😥
The main reason I ended 100+ days of NC is so I can genuinely let go and move on from everything. Later in life I can say I have always been an honest and true man without regrets thinking "what if?". Just my own way of going about it
All this just sucks so badly. Im in day 20 of NC and the breakup was 3 months ago. Together 6 years. All i want is for things to go back to how they were without the issues we had. Its so hard to miss someone so much and know its possible they dont miss you at all. When i imagine breaking NC, i really dont even know what my goal would be. I dont want to get rejected if I asked to meet up, and id even be too afraid to ask him for us to play a PC game together like we used to. He told me a few days after the breakup if i ever "tried anything" (like trying to get us back together) he would just block me. He claimed he wanted to be friends and was happy i still wanted to keep in touch but of course thats what they all say. He did reply to me the 2 times i broke NC to have a texting conversation but he didnt seem very interested in talking to me. But then again i dont want to live a life just having a casual texting conversation with him every couple months if he will even answer. I suppose once ive been in NC a bit longer ill be more confident once the time comes. and if he does reject doing something more intimate with me than just texting Ill be strong enough to deal with it. Ill be able to move forward and say hey at least i tried. I did 3 months NC and he still refused to even talk on a headset with me while we played a game together. And if he refuses that he would definitely refuse a meetup. So that just shows I did all i could possibly do. And if he doesnt block me but just refuses my offer then ill leave him alone for good.
I don’t see any post on here where they say no contact works. I wish you’d make a video about more success stories. The theory is good but seeing no evidence of effectiveness is depressing.
Leroy, I have no earthly idea what you are talking about. There are ALL KINDS of comments on my channel talking about no contact working (I do have other videos). There is a constant flow of them. There are other comments of people who are in no contact but haven’t been in it very long. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes time. Look at the comments here: m.th-cam.com/video/0TCKTPQCuEg/w-d-xo.html
It's day 90 today, radio silence. I'll wait a little bit more to break it. I am willing to be friends, he is important in my life, but he's a DA, he won't reach out, I know that. But I am giving time and space. If it doesn't work out, at least I want to say goodbye with love and peace.
4:23 😍 This helps me to stay strong 💪🏽 Im living together with my ex... I will move out in a few weeks. Did no contact since he was telling me that he wants to end or relationship... But could you make a video about how to behave when you moved together and he breaks up after a year (...) this feels so uncomfortable to me
Me and that beautiful absolutely beautiful woman broke up oct 3rd 2022, trying my hardest to do no contact,from time to time she messages me but I do keep it casual. She reached out on Thanksgiving wondering how I have been and wished me a happy Thanksgiving. Played two games with her over system, but that's it. Giving her space etc. She seemed happy to hear from me on Thanksgiving so we will see how it goes coach. I will let you know after another 10-15 days of NC how it goes via email.
I reached out after two months. We only dated for two months, and he has moved far away so now it’s long distance. It was going well until I said “I miss talking to you.” He hasn’t responded since. I pushed it too far too soon.😢
Coach, during 40th day of NC, If I found out that my ex is sick for last 2-3 weeks and going on therapy, what to do in this case? Break NC? Contact some of her friends? I'm worried about her...
Coach Lee, thank you so much for your videos, your work helped me a lot through a really hard time.. My fiancé of 2.5 years broke up with me because his mother was against the relationship. She tortured us for more than a year and both of us went through hell trying to work things out but he's just a family guy and he is really attached to his family. 2 months ago he was home after months of working abroad and asked to meet up, he was crying and he told me he can't do that anymore. We broke up and i went straight to no contact.. He has been working abroad for the last year so it was kind of LDR recently. He keeps watching my instgram stories, he even replies to them with hearts and etc. And he asks our mutual friends about me and asking them to tell me that he's devastated but nothing more. Should i just move on?
Should I make my facebook friends only so he cant see and be curious? or should it be public so he can see that I am moving on and going out and doing fun things?
2yr 5 months relationship. 19 year old and 20 year old. She broke up w me bc of fear of commitment. But not in the beginning more so towards the end. A lot influence was heavy on me during the time. But if I listen to my heart I know I want to commit 100%. How much time do you think she needs for me to be sure. After a month of trying to get w her and talk she wasn’t sure. Mentioned I may regret now having time to myself when we are older and that’s bullshit. I can see my future w her. After a month I then didn’t reply to her last message about her not being sure if meeting about closure will help us or hurt us. She mentioned we need this time to grow and see things through? I’m 8 days no contact right now. Any advice to maybe look forward to as how long it’ll take her to reciprocate feedback??
Well my ex did break up with me on march 12th but by around the 1st of April to the 6th of doing no contact and ignoring him, he was desperate to get me back. We did get back together but it only lasted a week so what do you suggest I do differently next time if he contacts me again? Should I ignore him for longer, like a couple months until he really does feel separation anxiety? I mean I know the reason why he dumped me and it was because he didn't see a future with me. We were together for 3 years.
Hi MsxTrinity6, it's possible that you were over-pursuing him or that you two didn't spend enough time apart. If you had a lot of negative interactions (arguments for example) that can do it as well. There's a lot of factors that I'd need to speak with you about to get an idea of what it probably is. But in this case, going back into no contact is likely the thing to do.
You have another video you told us it’s our decision if we reach out after 1,5 -2 months and sometimes it’s ok . And we have good odds to take them back and make a long healthy relationship
So instead of directly reaching out, what do you think about just liking a few of their photos on social media? My ex broke up with me for the second time and I told them that if they changed their mind I wouldn’t take them back. I believed that at the time but now I really do want them back and I’m terrified that they took what I said seriously. I’m thinking about waiting at least a month, maybe two and just liking a few pics of theirs (like 3-4) to get their attention. Just so they know I’m still thinking about them. What do you think?
Coach Lee, we had a coaching call a few weeks back. She’s reaching out a lot, and we’re meeting tomorrow. Any tips? Is it too early? I did no contact for 2 weeks then she reached out. we were together for 6 years and were very close. I don’t want to be friend zoned, I want to be in the end zone
Keep things light and somewhat casual. Be a good listener. Don’t stay more than an hour or so. There’s a module on this type of meeting in my Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com
What if its been 5 months since he broke up with me after a 6 year on/off relationship and we have a 4 year old? He told me to move on? Will he ever want me back?
The advantage you have is that having children with him keeps you in his life (and him in yours) almost permanently. Go into no contact except for matters relating to the children. Be kind and polite but casual and short. That's all you can do.
Coach, we had a great relationship. Over a year. I’m 53 she’s 49. This is second time we broke up. Never argued or fought. This time I said a couple things I regret. I’ve never disrespected her until that day. You mention sending a clean slate letter. It’s been about a month since the break up. I’m wanting to know if I should send it anyway or it’s to late? I’m confused. I feel I should but I feel I shouldn’t because I don’t want to anger her. Please advise
What if I broke NC after 4 months, he gave positive response but didn't ask to meet up, but asked for my picture. Breadcrumb? He's a Fearful avoidant, he said he was scared to call me bcos I'd say F* you to him. I told him "I prefer not to" about the picture and I haven't heard from him since then.. Any advice?
I realized I forgot my aligners at his house. (Where I lived too). We broke up Saturday. And he reached out Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday was our only No contact day, my dog ate my aligners set I was using and the others are in his linen closet. I’m very tempted to break no contact to get those back but it’s such bad timing…. I might just let my teeth shift and restart treatment after I get into my own place (or move back home 😅) I wish you could see this and easily respond lol
Yeah if you need something important from their place you can organise to go pick them up. Just keep it neutral and casual and brief. I have aligners myself and I would never let an ex stand in the way of getting nice teeth :D But I know how tough it is. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
I was ghosted after chasing crying confused ghosted me jan 18 been in no contact since February 6 22 days n contact been in realationship 7 yrs I still have his belongings
It’s been two weeks since she broke up with me. I’ve got a no contact and have not heard anything. I have a set of golf clubs in her garage. I haven’t been playing golf lately so should I go get these as soon as possible or just wait?
Coach leee. A😭fter 100 days of no contact my ex unblocked me. But when I called her on phone she ignored my call. did I broke no contact. If I call her.
Good question... and no easy answer. I'd like Coach Lee's input here for sure. Also, after many months, one last ditch contact? If she answers, fine. If not, forget it forever to at last close the book. Silence always leaves our hopes up... and that can't be good, like an endless punishment with no closure. I fully agree with the NC rational, Coach Lee has explained why in many videos. But closure is good at one point too, no? IDK nothing of what's going on with her, at all, as she posts nothing on her public FB profile, so it'd be my only way to know somehow.
what if it was you who messed up? im in NC now on the 5th day, hardest 5 days of my life, with xmas coming up i want to stay strong but if the breakup was becuase of you what should i do?
if the relationship was 2-3 weeks is it possible that NC will work and if he will care and forget about me if I do NC . im doing the no contact and its been a few weeks and nothing lol ?
Hi coach lee.. im always watching your videos and all of them are awesome.. i just want to share my prob.. my ex broke me on our 4th yr anniversary.. i tried to fix the issue but she refuse to answer me.. i greet her on new yrs eve and call her but she never response.. now im on 11th day of no contact.. we had a good relationship though we fight. We argue but its normal.. and lastly she said our relatioship is unhealty.. so should i continue the no contact rule?
Been in NC for 2 weeks now, he has reached out to me but hasn't told me he's missing me at all, its more a friendly 'hope you are well and having fun' sort of thing. I have replied but kept it short as i think he is just trying to friendzone me, or relieve his guilt if he knows im doing ok. Im so confused what to do :-(
Could be. But just because they want that doesn’t mean you should give it to them. All it does is give them relief. You want them concerned that they’re losing you. Don’t turn into their dancing monkey by trying to figure out what they want and giving it to them. She needs to do without at the moment. She needs to feel the loss. Watch this video all the way through: th-cam.com/video/ZjYp66suQPc/w-d-xo.html
She sent me a happy birthday message about 15 days of NC (and this includes a heart emoji). Is this a sign or she is just being kind?? We had almost 2 years of a very good relationship, but we were having no time for us, and this guy took advantage on it to invest on her. So, she started having feelings for him and broke up with me to avoid cheating... She always says that I still very special for her and will never forget the wonderful moments.
what if they are sick and not feeling well, will no contact can be applicable?, maybe she will see you hard and not caring by not telling them get well soon, is it grounds for Ex to move on cause they see you not care at all?
My ex and I dated for about 5 months and I’ve been in no contact since we broke up 2 months ago. It was a clean break no begging or pleading. A couple of weeks ago I noticed he untagged himself in photos and his ex recently tagged him in an old photo. I didnt react to it online though. But now he also stopped watching my stories. Should I start really worrying now?? What if he just never reaches out 🤦🏽♀️
She broke up with me through the phone. This will be the 3rd time she breaks it off. I went over to her house to reestablish our communication. She then proceeded to block me. Told me she doesn't love me anymore. This will be 17 days no contact one of the weekends she ran into my mom. My mother said that we both deserve people that will make us happy to her. I don't know if that restarted no contact, I wasn't there. My mom did comment that she knew it was over and that she did like her.
Hi there, maybe you can help me. We were a bit more than 2 months together and she was very intense with me. I have never seen such an intensity in a beautiful woman like her. She talked about marrying, living together, could go along with my daughter and even helped me with the garden. We broke up because of my burn out situation and maybe i didnt react the best way at one point. We booked vacations together for October this year so i want to recover her before October. I have 5 weeks no contact. Shall i break no contact?
Coach lee..you were right..I am saying this out of regret..I broke no contact on her birthday cos she reached out when I lost a loved one and I thought it was ok to wish her and it back fired...have I blown my chances after reaching out on her birthday...can no contact still work again.
She reached out almost daily in the 7 weeks since she broke up with me and i moved out. Do i keep up with No Contact? or should i every now and then write her.
I contact my ex after almost 2 months of No CONTACT rule. I sent her a message to keep all my stuff that I gave her , and she replied " I'll keep it as you please" . So I replied " thank you " and she reacted my message like this " 👌 ". Then I end conversion. Did i still I broke the NO CONTACT RULE ? Caoch Lee I hope you notice this and you answer my question.. Thanks
Drey's blog, Because you called her to "keep your things" and that was the only thing you spoke about, that's fine. It's over. Don't call anymore, and good luck.
So I made mistakes durring our relationship but made a huge change 6 o 7 months before she broke up with. Keep in mind that she made mistakes too. Anyways, she broke up with me through text and all I said was "I agree with you on this. I respect your decision, take care and keep working hard" what do you guys thinks? I haven't talked to her ever since the broke nor I begged and plead.
What If I told him I didn't want to talk to him anyway when he said he didnt want to talk to me for a month and I BLOCKED him? Do I need to initiate contact?
contacted my after 3 months NC, I called her she seemed suspicious at first. She was out, and asked if i can call her back later. She seemed happy actually. Called her back and texted her later and no reply. What should I do??
I'm facing same situation coming up in 2 weeks. Been 6 weeks now since breakup, 2 weeks since last simple email about my address. We had plans for her b-day, but I'm just going to let this one go. Worse case scenario, later on down the road I would let her know that I thought about her on her b-day. Sucks, absolutely just sucks.
Don't, it shows that you think about them heavily. By not greeting her, she will think. Did he forget? Did he move on already? They will be paranoid and think about you
Saturday was my bday & it was day 3 of no contact but i dropped my guard & talked to her & was blowing up her phone & eventually she end up saying see that's what I'm talking about ur to needy....hearing her say that wants me to continue NC even longer to show her I'm not needy!
If they were honest when you were together and you felt that they loved you, I don't see why you can't be together again. Love does really happen, believe it or not.
Nice comment!
Exactly! If you were truly in love why can’t you just talk things out. Don’t fucking abandon your partner and leave them in the dark to have all this anxiety. Especially after months/years being together?! I really don’t get it
@@brandominoeffect
My love of my life, my partner in crime, my fiance, my lover and my best friend dumped me after 7 years together over 3 months ago
She is gone for ever 😒
She took most of my heart with her as well 💔
She is most likely with another man or men.....
Isnt life just fantastic!?
@@brandominoeffect the way they feeling right now must be us... it's complely human doing these things
Brandon Thomas we didn’t even talk at all after the breakup, and I wish we could’ve talked about this, but haven’t heard from him
Also take this time, while being in no contact, to know if you really still love your ex. Don't just think about what your ex might be feeling, assess yours too.
The road is long, don't panic.
Well said
Trying to be brave I miss her so much.
Never break it ..... you will feel disappointed lest you have them as an option
Reached out after 5 weeks because I hit a point where I was happy with myself and feel like I had gotten myself together. I reached out saying that It had been a while and I wanted to check in. I told them that I was being respectful of her space and gave her time and told her that I also needed that time and space to grow and reflect. I said that they didn’t have to respond and I wasn’t angry or bitter or had any negative feelings and that I was open to the idea of talking again if or when she was ready. I sent it two days ago and as of writing this haven’t received a response. But I went into this not excepting one. My whole mindset going into no contact was to get myself back and because I had gotten to that point I was confident in myself and felt that I had nothing to lose. Could I have waited a bit longer sure, but I’m at the point to where sending out that text wasn’t for her it was for me because I had nothing to lose. Some may think that I should’ve just stayed in no co fact forever but I feel relieved after sending that text because it was like I was finally 100% letting go of her and my tone of the text was confidence and strength not chasing, or sadness. It’s all about your mindset.
Yeah I feel you but you shouldn't did that. You have to move on since the very first moment. Knowing that maybe in a future things could change but only focusing on yourself, not in her coming back. Don't worry, world won't finish because of that but you have to consider this from now.
I fully understand your thought process. We need closure. But 5 weeks wasn't long enough but still, if it allowed you to move on, that's good! If you were more inclined to get her back though, then it wasn't long enough. I know, I'm at the 4 week mark and damn it's hard to resist ha ha. But I will. Coach Lee mentions often that after 2.5 months then there's nothing to lose. Either we reignite the process, or we get closure. Either way, it's better than limbo. I'll wait till then if she hasn't reached out first.
@@MVProfits what happened?
@@MVProfitshow did it go when you reached out? im also in the 3-4 week mark and it is tempting. very tempting to just check in. i want to wait for a month and a half or a two months as well. How did yours go?
@@ezekielv2479 Wait more, for sure. As for me, it didn't go well in that no coming back together. But I did get partial closure. It's just weird as she is set in her decision, yet obviously still has feelings for me. She won't see me physically as she basically fears I can "charm her back". Hence the partial closure. Still, it's much better than being in limbo and not knowing.
My ex said she loved me but was not in love with me. She was scared and fearful of opening her heart I feel, but deep down i know she really cares about me and has love for me. Im on day 3 of NC and Im dying to have her back. Trying to stay strong with each day - thank you Coach Lee for your words
I’m in the same situation at 4 weeks of nc. Any update?
What's now?
I've been NC since Oct 30. It's just as painful as it was the moment he broke us up. I miss him but thank you to coach Lee, I'm not reaching out.
@@itsBenzie I don't know if that is worse than not hearing from them at all. I know I'd become emotional if mine said that and again left. Mine won't do that as our breakup was bad for no reason after he woke up from sleeping. I'm still puzzled til this day. One thing for sure is....I still love him and do miss him 😢
It's all a matter of time. Be patient. Wait until you're ready to accept the consequences. They may never return. No contact is more about yourself than the ex. Trust yourself and work on yourself. You'll be better and overall stronger in the long run.
No contact rule doesn't always work, if the ex is tempted by dating sites, or influenced by family members to maintain no contact.
You're right in that it's not a guarantee because you're dealing with people and not math problems. But chasing them after they've dumped you certainly doesn't work. Forcing yourself back into their life when they've asked you to leave it doesn't work. That doesn't mean that at some point you can't reach out but giving them that initial time and space is extremely important. When someone breaks up with you, you need to let them experience the breakup so they can see the negatives and hopefully come back to you. If the relationship wasn't good or they aren't that attached to you in the first place, the odds are less strong that no contact will work. But I've seen it work so many times in such powerful ways that can't be ignored.
Then they never wanted you really... if they wanted you no1 could talk them out of it🤷🏽♀️I say move on and be happy without them.. if they listen to other people they are probably always going to be like that... stay in NC and move on...
@@RealCoachLee hello Coach Lee how r u hope u ok ..I'm NC w my ex again I broke it twice ..big mistake didn't get me no where ...iay never see him again just because he's been so mean so many times ....
My ex back coach I am a big fan of your channel and videos. They are a motivating force to all dumpees around the world. Thank you for your work. All the best from Portugal. Keep up the good work.
No contact takes alot of courage because it hurts alot having to stay away from the person you actually want to be talking to all the time.. it sucks I hope it helps me heal..
Truth is if it takes an ex 30 days or more to initiate contact with me I'll be over them by than & wouldn't want them back.....
So I’m friends with my ex’s roommate... we were out for coffee, and a topic of conversation was my ex (they brought it up). I explained that I had listened to what my ex said (they said they wanted to be alone for now). The roommate told me my ex was too anxious to reach out, and that they think I hate them. I ask if it’s even a good idea to reach out; the roommate said they think it’s a great idea. I loved your advice Coach Lee, thank you for teaching me to do the mature thing.
Update???
I actually replied to your rebound relationship video and have now watched this one. I see a running theme throughout your videos. You preach to end things off with your ex in a very calm, peaceful and confident manner, which increases your chances of them reconsidering or at least doubting there decision down the line, but, for those of us who stuck around a little too long after the breakup, when we were no longer welcome or wanted, where does that leave us in terms of future reconciliation? If we did make the breakup not a pleasant experience for them, how does one go about repairing that?
Dan, thanks for your comment. What I usually suggest in that type of situation, though I don't know all of your details, is to find a way to contact them. Maybe it's writing a letter. And apologize for how you handled the breakup. Tell them that you respect their decision and wish them the best going forward. Sign it and go into NC. Because of the situation, you are very limited since you said she is in a committed relationship. She might show it to him, it might cause drama, etc. But little is truly without risk. A letter or email of that nature can be a small reset and, if you keep your word, can rebuild your image in the mind of your ex. Then, if the relationship she is currently in fails, you that hurdle no longer exists to getting back together with you. Again, I wish you the best and I'm very sorry that you are in this situation. I know it hurts.
My situation is similar it ended with me pleading when she was ending it and apologizing to me saying it wasnt her intentjon to hurt me but shes with somoene else now, not interested anymore in me and that it would be last time we spoke. I did more pleading 2 days later with a 2 page written letter saying it seemed impossible to forget her, that i would probably always love her and lots of pleading not begging tho...which made her furious to the point that she even blocked me (was unblocked 40 days later tho before her bday).
I basically never accepted the breakup in theory nor did i apologize for how i handled the breakup ( but did for my mistakes during our time) and im already at almost 2 months NC.. so i feel like its too late to apologize like u say right? Also feels like chances of her contacting me are zero.. im a noob thinking letters, flowers, feelings and words would touch her heart but i forgot this generation is dead inside. They prefer to rebound quickly instead of repairing
@@RealCoachLeeI love these videos but don’t see the point in continuing to watch them as you are no longer doing coaching calls and my actual situation is so different to any of these scenarios 😢
After a 5yr relationship, she said she needs to focus on her & her daughter (she graduates in June.) said she’s not talking to anyone. She said I didn’t show her enough attention, but the day prior she was wanting me still.
Everything you’ve said is spot on. I’ve been in NC 2 weeks, only exchanged short text as she helps me with administration stuff for my business.
I saw she went out with her bff who’s single and hooks up with guys all the time. At this point, I’m really happy without her and feel like she should have respected what all I had done for her.
Your content is great & very helpful. Thanks for what you do. Do you offer calls for classes as well?
I like the way you explain what is going on during the no contact
I think i messed up my chances..😔 but jus leaving her alone. Just praying now.. i realized alot. Smh..
update?
Your saving my life right now 😞😞😞
@Mary how are young doing?
I read on magnet of success that dumpers stages post break almost run in reverse to the dumpees and the genuine regret occurs, if it occurs, way down the road after they’ve passed neutrality where they see the good sides. Two months is just not enough time. I think 3 months in my ex is only just getting into the swing of being single. I suspect She knows she can click and have me back. It’ll take a while for her to doubt how I still feel I think. Also re nothing to lose I think you do have a lot to lose as it can hurt and set you back if they have moved on or God forbid met someone else when you contact them.
Awesome, your wise words helps me stay strong, NO CONTACT!
I watch/rewatch these videos in tears every time I’m tempted to text or call him…
Coach Lee is right. Another self-calling “ex whisperer” has an elaborate system of texts and tricks to lure your ex back to communicating with you, but by his own admission they get together and in 50% of cases break up again.
Me 60 days no contact and i wont do contact. I love her but i did what had to do.
Any news?
Update man?
No Contact is pretty much my best shot at getting my ex back
Great video! I was just about close to breaking and reaching out to him a few minutes ago but you've convinced me to stay strong and keep going with NC. Thank you!
What happened?
Guys don't text... Don't react just play hard.Access to ur energy is privilege. Don't allow them to cross ur boundaries again
deepika. Good idea! The same goes for HER also! If you stay NO Contact for 45-60 days, that is terrific.
I want to tell you about Coach Lee’s Workshop which I highly recommend for you. It's excellent and POWERFUL. know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
What about an introvert ex? It’s an awkward situation for them to reach you out. So they won’t
Update???
I adore my ex boyfriend. That is why I haven’t broken no contact until last night. My ex hasn’t heard a peep out of me for 45 days. It’s a long story but his mental illness is part of why he might be afraid to contact me. Part of me feels I have nothing to lose at this point. So I sent a small message on Instagram. And that was it it was short and sweet just to let him know that I am not going to bite his head off if he is to get in contact with me. As I am not angry at all whatsoever at this point. The distance helped me realize certain things about our relationship that I was partially blind to at the time. In that time, I journaled a lot. Actually I still am. It will help me to communicate my feelings to him when/if we speak again. Otherwise I am taking care of my home, myself, getting therapy, my grown children need attention too. Also there are other prospects that I’ve ignored through the time that I was with my ex. However I still have very strong feelings for him that I am working through. Thank you Coach Lee for the strength that your videos have given me over this time
My BEAUTIFUL QUEEN of 17 mos & I Broke up 10 days ago. We were engaged. Day 5 of NC. She suffers from Bi Polar. Dealt with alot in 17 mos. I did alot of research on BP.
We dance about 3-4 x's a month to our 2 favorite songs. I'm always the one to initiate the dance. Same with making Love! I asked her a few weeks ago Why is it always me who initiates it?
Her Reply, "I'm afraid you will reject me!" I said Baby No matter what we going thru I will Never reject You!
On Sun I text her & Apologized if I said things that hurt her.
Mon she text me Apologized for not showing her Love & making it more clearer.
That evening I text her told her we had something special, I loved her & we needed to work it out.
No Response.
Monday is my Birthday, I don't expect a text. Next week she will visit family for Thanksgiving so she probably won't even think of me. One thing in my favor her Mom told her "He's a Keeper!' SO maybe Mom might help out!
But I'm afraid if she feels I will reject her, I wouldn't, she won't reach out!!!
67 days of no contact ... Its one of those days when I am missing my ex suddenly outof nowhere after being fine for awhile ,I know that she is not right for me now but my heart still wants to hear form her... I just wana move on ...
@James Bond I hope it gets better for you,I found someone else though and this person is really a perfect match for me so I'm getting marrid next year ,so the break up seems to have been for the better ,she didn't call me though mayb I would have liked to hear from her just once mayb even just to know hows she doing but I have just made peace with that and made peace with being okey with mayb never hearing from again I did try to sms her twice after 4 months and later after 7 or 8 months but no reply
Sometimes I wonder, who your ex is.
They don't forget! - 1yr of BU; 7 months NC he reached out asking about me. I cut him off politely and am back to NC, time will tell
Too late messed up too many times....even had things good and then asked someone about the situation and they told me to send a dumb text and I sent it on accident -.- I heard back but I think it only solidified her decision. (She said wasn't involved in church enough, don't have enough friends, and didn't like a kiss we had + hope it helps me move on)
Hey coach, I love your videos. I think they are very helpful.
My boyfriend broke up with me at the end of may, after being in a relationship together for 4,5 years. It was brutal. He had been feeling something was 'off' for months, didn't discuss this with me because he didn't want something to be off for himself. Came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with me at all. It was completely 'his problem'. Didn't feel enthusiastic about being in the relationship anymore, didn't look forward to meeting each other like he used to. Felt like I was like home to him, which is an amazing compliment, but he kept thinking: is that it? Is that enough? He felt like he SHOULD feel more enthusiasm, felt guilty towards me constantly because I was enthusiastic still.
He was so upset. Torn apart. Knew what he would give up losing me. An amazing bonde, I was his best friend, his favorite person in the world, his lover... In times when he was depressed and isolated himself from the world, I was the only one who was there for him all the time.
It was the hardest decision for him to make ever. Said "Maybe in a year I wake up and realize this is the biggest mistake I made in life", but he couldn't continue being with me just based on this fear. He would get unhappy. He felt like he was too young to be in a steady relationship like this (we are 24). ...I am so confused. He still loves me a LOT. He was still crazy about me too, but felt like our roads had to seperate so. ...We've been doing no contact on purpose 4 weeks after the break up, I contacted him shortly 3 weeks after because I wanted to know if he missed me. Said he did of course, it was hard, but that time apart made him realize it was for the better for him. Then after 4 weeks we came together, I picked up my stuff at his house and returned his. We were still in love... After that day I messaged him some things until he said I needed to let go of this.. Or I would make it harder for the both of us.. I replied that I understood, thanked him for replying, said I didn't intend to keep sending him messages, that I would leave him alone. And it's what I have been doing for nearly +4 weeks now.. No contact.
Do you think this is the right thing to do? We are still friends on Facebook... He can still see my pictures when I post them. But that's about it...
Steph, you are still doing the right thing. Think about it, you told him you'd leave him alone and not contact him. If you break your word, you aren't looking honest, strong, or attractive. And it gives him no incentive to reach out to you because he knows that you'll just reach out to him at some point anyway (which deeply hurts attraction). So stay backed off. Let him lose the ability to expect you to reach out to him. Watch this video all the way to the end: th-cam.com/video/2v_9UTypfCs/w-d-xo.html&lc=Ugw-vSZhpo2H4O_z5-x4AaABAg
Thank you so much for answering! I have watched the video and will most likely watch it repeatedly.
I really do hope that at some point he will reach out, considering he is everything but impulsive and will probably aside of everything, have a giant feeling of guilt towards me for breaking up.. Lol....
Steph any updates?
It's different when going no contact with an abusive narcissist, isn't it!?
Yes, if that is what he truly is. No contact works best to re-attract emotionally healthy people who value relationships because they will miss you in their life whereas the only time it works on a narcissist is when it hurts their ego enough or if they aren't completely narcissistic but only have tendencies.
We spoke today, I could hear in his voice that he still very much loved me and was holding back.
How long did you go in NC for?
@@3lewi
Well maybe a few weeks then we spoke for 5 mins then another few weeks. We also work together so at around the 6 week mark I started seeing him at work.
Anyway we are back together everything is better than ever.
I think I just started to focus more on myself and I really had to surrender to the fact that I may just lose him (but I really was like no he is losing me).
I was almost about to go on another date and said look we get back together or I'm going on a date next week... And he's like maybe we will have a chance in the future. I'm not ready... I said there won't be a chance.
And we got back together that day.
We met up a couple times and it became very clear that we hated being apart. He did sleep with someone 3 weeks after we broke up and definitely regretted it. This doesn't come up for us at all but these things happen.
All and all we had a extremely close friendship we just lacked effective communication between one another during heated arguments. We didn't listen as well as we could have and we judged far too much.
We don't really fight anymore. And learnt that if we disagree it's best to try and understand the other person an make compromises and to catch ourselves when we are displaying any sort of pride.
Ik she won't come back ever but your video give me hope and faith ;-)
she will come back just follow lees advice
My ex just reached out on day 24 of No Contact. She texted me, and told me that her 23-year old daughter was getting married that day; that “she wanted to tell me” about it; and ended with “Cariños”
(which means Loving regards). I responded with 2 lines: That I wished them the best; and to tell her daughter that. She wrote: “Sure, thanks!” And I just wrote back: “Ok.” That was it, 7 days ago.
Update?
after two months NC is still nothing from her .. tears began to dry up, the heart has begun to numb. hope fades ... don't wait for something uncertain .... get up and move on
Update???
I begged and pleaded for 3 weeks. Went almost 1 week no contact and then he contacted me. I ended up finding out he’s dating someone he cheated on me with. Now, I’m at a point where I don’t even know if I want him anymore, but it’s hard to shut off my feelings.
Update ??
LDR is so hard, and I am not sure that NC working. After a month after our breakup I already saw him on the dating app we met. I was so hurt, broke my heart for the second time. He's quite stubborn and was clear that we have already concluded and there is no longer a negotiation between us. I still miss him every day but I am trying my best to stay NC.
u seeing him on dating apps means u we’re on them too…
While I am doing NC and in mean time what if someone is making my ex feel better about life and helping her to get over of me ??
This will make her completely over me and i will lose her forever which i am afraid of 😥
Update???
The main reason I ended 100+ days of NC is so I can genuinely let go and move on from everything. Later in life I can say I have always been an honest and true man without regrets thinking "what if?". Just my own way of going about it
All this just sucks so badly. Im in day 20 of NC and the breakup was 3 months ago. Together 6 years. All i want is for things to go back to how they were without the issues we had. Its so hard to miss someone so much and know its possible they dont miss you at all. When i imagine breaking NC, i really dont even know what my goal would be. I dont want to get rejected if I asked to meet up, and id even be too afraid to ask him for us to play a PC game together like we used to. He told me a few days after the breakup if i ever "tried anything" (like trying to get us back together) he would just block me. He claimed he wanted to be friends and was happy i still wanted to keep in touch but of course thats what they all say. He did reply to me the 2 times i broke NC to have a texting conversation but he didnt seem very interested in talking to me. But then again i dont want to live a life just having a casual texting conversation with him every couple months if he will even answer. I suppose once ive been in NC a bit longer ill be more confident once the time comes. and if he does reject doing something more intimate with me than just texting Ill be strong enough to deal with it. Ill be able to move forward and say hey at least i tried. I did 3 months NC and he still refused to even talk on a headset with me while we played a game together. And if he refuses that he would definitely refuse a meetup. So that just shows I did all i could possibly do. And if he doesnt block me but just refuses my offer then ill leave him alone for good.
I don’t see any post on here where they say no contact works. I wish you’d make a video about more success stories. The theory is good but seeing no evidence of effectiveness is depressing.
Leroy, I have no earthly idea what you are talking about. There are ALL KINDS of comments on my channel talking about no contact working (I do have other videos). There is a constant flow of them. There are other comments of people who are in no contact but haven’t been in it very long. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes time. Look at the comments here: m.th-cam.com/video/0TCKTPQCuEg/w-d-xo.html
It's day 90 today, radio silence. I'll wait a little bit more to break it. I am willing to be friends, he is important in my life, but he's a DA, he won't reach out, I know that. But I am giving time and space. If it doesn't work out, at least I want to say goodbye with love and peace.
4:23 😍 This helps me to stay strong 💪🏽
Im living together with my ex... I will move out in a few weeks. Did no contact since he was telling me that he wants to end or relationship... But could you make a video about how to behave when you moved together and he breaks up after a year (...) this feels so uncomfortable to me
Me and that beautiful absolutely beautiful woman broke up oct 3rd 2022, trying my hardest to do no contact,from time to time she messages me but I do keep it casual. She reached out on Thanksgiving wondering how I have been and wished me a happy Thanksgiving. Played two games with her over system, but that's it. Giving her space etc. She seemed happy to hear from me on Thanksgiving so we will see how it goes coach. I will let you know after another 10-15 days of NC how it goes via email.
I reached out after two months. We only dated for two months, and he has moved far away so now it’s long distance. It was going well until I said “I miss talking to you.” He hasn’t responded since. I pushed it too far too soon.😢
Coach, during 40th day of NC, If I found out that my ex is sick for last 2-3 weeks and going on therapy, what to do in this case? Break NC? Contact some of her friends? I'm worried about her...
60 days?....going on 5 months....done n done...lol
Update?
Dewey Couto wao
i want an update too
Any update?
@gustov fern .....ya it gets better , believe it......you dont want someone willing to just walk away that easy
You right coach Lee God bless 🥰🥰 🥰
Great explanation, watched it twice :)
Many thanks coach Lee! :)))
Day 1 no contact it's gonna be hard
It's Day 1 for me...and I've not been able to sleep or eat. Crushing. Hope you're doing better.
Audio volume very low
Coach Lee, thank you so much for your videos, your work helped me a lot through a really hard time.. My fiancé of 2.5 years broke up with me because his mother was against the relationship. She tortured us for more than a year and both of us went through hell trying to work things out but he's just a family guy and he is really attached to his family. 2 months ago he was home after months of working abroad and asked to meet up, he was crying and he told me he can't do that anymore. We broke up and i went straight to no contact.. He has been working abroad for the last year so it was kind of LDR recently. He keeps watching my instgram stories, he even replies to them with hearts and etc. And he asks our mutual friends about me and asking them to tell me that he's devastated but nothing more.
Should i just move on?
Rana Gad Stick to it. If you love each other, make it work. I would fight for it if I were you.
Any update? If you two truly loved and that just a family matter he will reflect and come back
It’s imperative to know how they handle trauma some bury it
Should I make my facebook friends only so he cant see and be curious? or should it be public so he can see that I am moving on and going out and doing fun things?
2yr 5 months relationship. 19 year old and 20 year old. She broke up w me bc of fear of commitment. But not in the beginning more so towards the end. A lot influence was heavy on me during the time. But if I listen to my heart I know I want to commit 100%. How much time do you think she needs for me to be sure. After a month of trying to get w her and talk she wasn’t sure. Mentioned I may regret now having time to myself when we are older and that’s bullshit. I can see my future w her.
After a month I then didn’t reply to her last message about her not being sure if meeting about closure will help us or hurt us. She mentioned we need this time to grow and see things through?
I’m 8 days no contact right now. Any advice to maybe look forward to as how long it’ll take her to reciprocate feedback??
Well my ex did break up with me on march 12th but by around the 1st of April to the 6th of doing no contact and ignoring him, he was desperate to get me back. We did get back together but it only lasted a week so what do you suggest I do differently next time if he contacts me again? Should I ignore him for longer, like a couple months until he really does feel separation anxiety? I mean I know the reason why he dumped me and it was because he didn't see a future with me. We were together for 3 years.
Hi MsxTrinity6, it's possible that you were over-pursuing him or that you two didn't spend enough time apart. If you had a lot of negative interactions (arguments for example) that can do it as well. There's a lot of factors that I'd need to speak with you about to get an idea of what it probably is. But in this case, going back into no contact is likely the thing to do.
You have another video you told us it’s our decision if we reach out after 1,5 -2 months and sometimes it’s ok . And we have good odds to take them back and make a long healthy relationship
That’s right. This video is to encourage you to stay in no contact because that is what is best most of the time.
So instead of directly reaching out, what do you think about just liking a few of their photos on social media? My ex broke up with me for the second time and I told them that if they changed their mind I wouldn’t take them back. I believed that at the time but now I really do want them back and I’m terrified that they took what I said seriously. I’m thinking about waiting at least a month, maybe two and just liking a few pics of theirs (like 3-4) to get their attention. Just so they know I’m still thinking about them. What do you think?
Day 8 of no contact …. I wanna break no contact so bad I miss her so much 😓
Coach Lee, we had a coaching call a few weeks back. She’s reaching out a lot, and we’re meeting tomorrow. Any tips? Is it too early? I did no contact for 2 weeks then she reached out. we were together for 6 years and were very close. I don’t want to be friend zoned, I want to be in the end zone
Keep things light and somewhat casual. Be a good listener. Don’t stay more than an hour or so. There’s a module on this type of meeting in my Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com
Coach Lee, what if you're in an LDR how to handle it if he wants to go to your town and talk? And he needs to stay at your town for a couple of days?
What if its been 5 months since he broke up with me after a 6 year on/off relationship and we have a 4 year old? He told me to move on? Will he ever want me back?
The advantage you have is that having children with him keeps you in his life (and him in yours) almost permanently. Go into no contact except for matters relating to the children. Be kind and polite but casual and short. That's all you can do.
Coach, we had a great relationship. Over a year. I’m 53 she’s 49. This is second time we broke up. Never argued or fought. This time I said a couple things I regret. I’ve never disrespected her until that day. You mention sending a clean slate letter. It’s been about a month since the break up. I’m wanting to know if I should send it anyway or it’s to late? I’m confused. I feel I should but I feel I shouldn’t because I don’t want to anger her. Please advise
Hey, Coach Lee, appreciate the videos and advice. Does no contact work if you are married to the person asking for no contact? Thanks in advance
It’s helpful but not always the same with marriage.
What if I broke NC after 4 months, he gave positive response but didn't ask to meet up, but asked for my picture. Breadcrumb? He's a Fearful avoidant, he said he was scared to call me bcos I'd say F* you to him.
I told him "I prefer not to" about the picture and I haven't heard from him since then.. Any advice?
I did, To tell him not to take the spike protein, mRNA vaccine. He replied that he loved me and believed me.
I realized I forgot my aligners at his house. (Where I lived too). We broke up Saturday. And he reached out Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday was our only No contact day, my dog ate my aligners set I was using and the others are in his linen closet. I’m very tempted to break no contact to get those back but it’s such bad timing…. I might just let my teeth shift and restart treatment after I get into my own place (or move back home 😅) I wish you could see this and easily respond lol
I would break it because your teeth are important. But after that, go complete NC
Yeah if you need something important from their place you can organise to go pick them up. Just keep it neutral and casual and brief. I have aligners myself and I would never let an ex stand in the way of getting nice teeth :D But I know how tough it is. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
Does no contact work if she comes back after a breakup, you meet up and she says she doesn't feel anything for you?
I was ghosted after chasing crying confused ghosted me jan 18 been in no contact since February 6 22 days n contact been in realationship 7 yrs I still have his belongings
It’s been a year since the breakup, he admits it’s because of other people in his life. No contact since it happened. What do you think coach lee?
Ash2000, I believe it's over. Move on, and enjoy yourself. Take care!
It’s been two weeks since she broke up with me. I’ve got a no contact and have not heard anything. I have a set of golf clubs in her garage. I haven’t been playing golf lately so should I go get these as soon as possible or just wait?
Coach leee. A😭fter 100 days of no contact my ex unblocked me. But when I called her on phone she ignored my call. did I broke no contact. If I call her.
Yes
Yes, calling her broke no contact.
@@RealCoachLee so should I continue. No contact. For more days
Do you wish them happy birthday or stay in NC?
Good question... and no easy answer. I'd like Coach Lee's input here for sure.
Also, after many months, one last ditch contact? If she answers, fine. If not, forget it forever to at last close the book. Silence always leaves our hopes up... and that can't be good, like an endless punishment with no closure. I fully agree with the NC rational, Coach Lee has explained why in many videos. But closure is good at one point too, no? IDK nothing of what's going on with her, at all, as she posts nothing on her public FB profile, so it'd be my only way to know somehow.
what if it was you who messed up?
im in NC now on the 5th day, hardest 5 days of my life, with xmas coming up i want to stay strong but if the breakup was becuase of you what should i do?
myexbackcoach.com/clean-slate-message/
if the relationship was 2-3 weeks is it possible that NC will work and if he will care and forget about me if I do NC . im doing the no contact and its been a few weeks and nothing lol ?
You are my favorite coach! Thank you 💯
How can you still keep no contact if I’m working at the same building with my ex? Any help in this
Hi coach lee.. im always watching your videos and all of them are awesome.. i just want to share my prob.. my ex broke me on our 4th yr anniversary.. i tried to fix the issue but she refuse to answer me.. i greet her on new yrs eve and call her but she never response.. now im on 11th day of no contact.. we had a good relationship though we fight. We argue but its normal.. and lastly she said our relatioship is unhealty.. so should i continue the no contact rule?
Update???
Been in NC for 2 weeks now, he has reached out to me but hasn't told me he's missing me at all, its more a friendly 'hope you are well and having fun' sort of thing. I have replied but kept it short as i think he is just trying to friendzone me, or relieve his guilt if he knows im doing ok. Im so confused what to do :-(
Could it be a case where they're waiting for you to message them first? Even though they ended it
Could be. But just because they want that doesn’t mean you should give it to them. All it does is give them relief. You want them concerned that they’re losing you. Don’t turn into their dancing monkey by trying to figure out what they want and giving it to them. She needs to do without at the moment. She needs to feel the loss. Watch this video all the way through: th-cam.com/video/ZjYp66suQPc/w-d-xo.html
She sent me a happy birthday message about 15 days of NC (and this includes a heart emoji). Is this a sign or she is just being kind?? We had almost 2 years of a very good relationship, but we were having no time for us, and this guy took advantage on it to invest on her. So, she started having feelings for him and broke up with me to avoid cheating... She always says that I still very special for her and will never forget the wonderful moments.
Any update??
It's been 5 days and my anxiety is extremely high.... I'm gonna need help with this
what if they are sick and not feeling well, will no contact can be applicable?, maybe she will see you hard and not caring by not telling them get well soon, is it grounds for Ex to move on cause they see you not care at all?
My ex and I dated for about 5 months and I’ve been in no contact since we broke up 2 months ago. It was a clean break no begging or pleading. A couple of weeks ago I noticed he untagged himself in photos and his ex recently tagged him in an old photo. I didnt react to it online though. But now he also stopped watching my stories. Should I start really worrying now?? What if he just never reaches out 🤦🏽♀️
Stay strong. Reaching out gets you nothing.
Update???
@@RealCoachLee right
Did you guys get back together
:( I have been watching your videos for weeks and I really need your help on one on one coaching. Please let me know how can I contact you :(
She broke up with me through the phone. This will be the 3rd time she breaks it off. I went over to her house to reestablish our communication. She then proceeded to block me. Told me she doesn't love me anymore. This will be 17 days no contact one of the weekends she ran into my mom. My mother said that we both deserve people that will make us happy to her. I don't know if that restarted no contact, I wasn't there. My mom did comment that she knew it was over and that she did like her.
i really wish i could afford a session with you =(
Hi there, maybe you can help me. We were a bit more than 2 months together and she was very intense with me. I have never seen such an intensity in a beautiful woman like her. She talked about marrying, living together, could go along with my daughter and even helped me with the garden. We broke up because of my burn out situation and maybe i didnt react the best way at one point. We booked vacations together for October this year so i want to recover her before October. I have 5 weeks no contact. Shall i break no contact?
Day 16 of NC. Haven't seen her in 2 months. Wondering what stage she's in since I stopped blowing up her phone 2 weeks ago.
Coach lee..you were right..I am saying this out of regret..I broke no contact on her birthday cos she reached out when I lost a loved one and I thought it was ok to wish her and it back fired...have I blown my chances after reaching out on her birthday...can no contact still work again.
If he is arab never ever make no contact more than 30 days he will be married and you are waiting him to come back after 6 months
She reached out almost daily in the 7 weeks since she broke up with me and i moved out. Do i keep up with No Contact? or should i every now and then write her.
I contact my ex after almost 2 months of No CONTACT rule. I sent her a message to keep all my stuff that I gave her , and she replied " I'll keep it as you please" . So I replied " thank you " and she reacted my message like this " 👌 ". Then I end conversion. Did i still I broke the NO CONTACT RULE ? Caoch Lee I hope you notice this and you answer my question.. Thanks
Drey's blog, Because you called her to "keep your things" and that was the only thing you spoke about, that's fine. It's over. Don't call anymore, and good luck.
@@jannlewandowski5540 thank you so much ☺️💪🙂
So I made mistakes durring our relationship but made a huge change 6 o 7 months before she broke up with. Keep in mind that she made mistakes too. Anyways, she broke up with me through text and all I said was "I agree with you on this. I respect your decision, take care and keep working hard" what do you guys thinks? I haven't talked to her ever since the broke nor I begged and plead.
Update?
I should’ve watched this yesterday 🙄
What If I told him I didn't want to talk to him anyway when he said he didnt want to talk to me for a month and I BLOCKED him? Do I need to initiate contact?
Kale, this article should be helpful to where you are. Read all the way through at least once: myexbackcoach.com/clean-slate-message/
my ex broke up with me and is making bad decisions in life, what do i do?
contacted my after 3 months NC, I called her she seemed suspicious at first. She was out, and asked if i can call her back later. She seemed happy actually. Called her back and texted her later and no reply. What should I do??
If I’m on a break with my gf and are on “no contact” am I able to break it to just say happy birthday?
I'm facing same situation coming up in 2 weeks. Been 6 weeks now since breakup, 2 weeks since last simple email about my address. We had plans for her b-day, but I'm just going to let this one go. Worse case scenario, later on down the road I would let her know that I thought about her on her b-day. Sucks, absolutely just sucks.
Don't, it shows that you think about them heavily. By not greeting her, she will think. Did he forget? Did he move on already? They will be paranoid and think about you
Any update?
Saturday was my bday & it was day 3 of no contact but i dropped my guard & talked to her & was blowing up her phone & eventually she end up saying see that's what I'm talking about ur to needy....hearing her say that wants me to continue NC even longer to show her I'm not needy!