Dear God. I've never been JW, I'm a mental health worker and recently taken on a client who was disfellowshipped. I've been watching your videos to try and understand what they are going through. I'm not supposed to get emotionally involved in my cases but watching this and reading your dad's email I felt like crying. I'm so sorry. Sorry for you, your family, my client, and everyone else affected by this.
Charlet, we are fighting, supernatural demonic forces, yes, plug in nepelims,,, press images, bang to rights you gotem, they may materialise again and put on human form, mathew, cha, 24, v 36,-39 please do read this, interesting information,,,, do not listen to this Guy, a serious danger to you,,, he belongs to the seed of Deception, cute but dangerouse, person, be carefull, do read, john ch, 2,v 18-19 he mr evans is aposeing, Gods kingdom, thankyou, to you,
Because my father never became a Witness, I was not pressured to become baptized, and I decided not to make such a commitment until I was older. It was this decision that allowed me to leave "The Organization" without being disfellowshipped. My late Mother cried her eyes out the night I decided to stop going to meetings, but I avoided completely losing family and friends. Forcing or encouraging underaged kids to get baptized often sets these poor children up for terrible heartbreak in the future. :(
Prodigal son: "But while he was STILL A LONG WAY OFF, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." The father didn't even know WHY his son was returning. It didn't matter. Family shows unconditional love. The WT forces it's followers to ignore the very book it claims to hold the keys to.
In my experience, unconditional love was something that sounded great in written word. In my family, our cats, dogs and my horse taught me more about the true meaning of love-conditional or otherwise. I was corporally silenced for mentioning such feelings and observations. Religious indoctrination is the cruelest cut to any young mind, developing selfesteem and critical thinking. Religions are a man-made construct. You don't need a degree in dooknocking to figure this out.
The reason I stopped my two year bible study with the JW, is that according to them, I had to obey God and then he would love me. For me that meant that God didn't love me unconditionally and that was the end of story for me. So I am not suprised they put on all these conditions for human beings to love eachother.
I don't know how relevant this parable is. If Lloyd decides to go back to the religion, the JW would have to let him back into the fold because of that scripture. Right now Lloyd is the son who is squandering his inheritance.
A close friend of mine was disfellowshipped because he told the elders exactly what he thought of them and how they are a bunch of immoral hypocrites. Luckily for him the only family members were his children so obviously they went with him. He and his now grow up children are glad they did and have never looked back. All living happy and successful lives.
i remember my judicial meeting too. not easy. but so worth it. it was even harder for me because i was still brainwashed for a full 2 years after my meeting
I never went to my JC meeting, They wanted me to drive 300 miles, miss work, and have to get a hotel. I asked if they would pay for all of my loss (i.e. loss of pay, hotel, and driving expenses) they said no. So I told them to stick it.
I know this happened years ago for you.... but I am waist-high deep in the middle of it right now. thank you for your bravery, strength and courage ... you give me hope to keep going. thank you!
That one girl just leave. This is a cult. U are not leaving God, u are leaving a cult. Her are some things that might help u. Google beth sarim. Also lookheed martin and the watchtower. Please past this on u people have been deceived by a religion that is really an empire on making money. Jesus said love thy mother and father. Fathers love thy children. Leaving your kids is not Of God. The w t cult must be expose at all cost. But people need to check all information on this false religion that has torn families apart. I have been trying to help anyone i can. It is very sad when religion comes between family. God is unity not seperation.people wake up. Speak agains these false teachers and don't give up or go back in there
Jay Lui - I have now left and started my own TH-cam series to help others out too... I so appreciate your kindness support and helpful suggestions. I know of Beth Sarim... just wow right?!? ... and I will look into your other suggestion. You are so right that God should not interfere with families. All my love and support in your reaching others, much peace in your healing, and cheers to a better future my friend. 🍻 🍀❤That One Girl❤️🍀
I hope you are o.k. All I can tell you is once you make the break there is a great interesting journey awaiting you. You will need to find your new path and you will learn so much. I suggest you get some Louise hay books and you listen to some of her videos. She is not a witness but her message is one of unconditional love. Frances Scoville Shinn also is one to guide you in your new path. Good luck and I pray Jesus will guide you. Open your heart to him. Study his true teachings. Oh I know we are NOT suppose to say Good Luck. LoL.
I absolutely cannot get over the tireless amount of Jehovah's Witnesses that try and defend this as "a Choice" that we, the ones leaving, make. Yes, it is a choice we make once our eyes have been opened. But what is astonishing is that no one seems to see the ultimatum placed for ones who disagree with the teachings and lies of the Watchtower and Tract Society. Sure, you can leave. But if you do, you'll lose everything you ever knew and love. Your choice. Right. So after you've spent years closing me into your little bubble of world, cutting out "worldly" people, having me chase down "theocratic" goals in the name of jehovah, once I've wasted my youth on Pioneering and everything else, after I've avoided my own non-witness family, after all I know is this organization....seems like you've just set me up to crawl back to you. I am proud to be one of the ones, like you and others, who've made that transition alive. I was fortunate that my mother does not and will never hold that shunning belief, but then again, her own eyes have become opened in recent years as well since I left. But I lost everything else. All my friends, everything I knew, an entire safety net. I had never felt so alone in my entire life. and yet they still spew this crap as a "choice." And this is when I get angry all over again.
+Selina Lehnsherr It's like I always say, they left us to sink or swim, being confident that we cannot swim, so they could watch us crawl back half dead and enjoy it. The ones of us who have survived the transition should feel good about it, get a boost of self-esteem! It's a BIG deal.
Good on your mom for being an individual and a mother & not putting her religion above her family. I just can't imagine that. I wonder how many parents, relatives and friends don't shun when the order is given? Hopefully the trend increases.
Man john that ending was heart wrenching. It took me back to that time for myself. Now 13 years later so many memories that were lost bcuz of being shunned. All bcuz of a decision I made at 13. I still love my family so much and miss them but I will not be emotionally blackmailed to force me to believe lies. No matter how they word it it is their decision and not yours. At least your child will never have to go through this. My best to you!--tony
Tony Prime I was lucky, I was not close to my family do I didn’t miss them. In fact I was relived Thank goodness my kids were not in the religion , I’m with them now, I got reinstated after I had a stroke and then I researched behind the curtain, shock. Hurt, pains down now more fear then I ever had. I must tell the elders how I feel cause the one I study with never researched, and have no idea about my questions, they don’t believe me, do I cannot bow to the g b and that’s a disfellowshipping offence, I will continue to pray and worship Jesus and Jehovah and hope I get a chance at resserection
It's nice that when your daughter grows up, she'll be able to watch these videos and be able to see how you bent over backwards to keep the family together, and that the only hateful attitudes came from the loving bOrg and their followers. (Ironic that we apostates are accused so much that we have no love, only hate). I sincerely hope your dad wakes up, for his sake, and your daughters.
What I learned from you from this video was what you said of your father's e-mail notice of shunning: "no son should receive a message like that". I LOVE IT. I wish you all the best with your family and coming child. And Christ bless you. Well, that's me, kind of pushing Christ but it comes from my heart, brother.
There was also the Adulterous woman whom the Pharisees brought to Jesus. She stopped because she got caught and Jesus forgave her. He showed mercy and she wasn't even family. So the shunning here goes out the window. I take pleasure in mercy, not sacrifice.
***** TheScrewedGeneration the WTS didn't really delete that passage, it is still there in the NWT. However, it has a warning that this passage doesn't appear in the oldest transcripts of the John Gospel we have. Therefore, it is very possible it is a later addition. It isn't the fault of the WTS that God was incapable of preserving an uncorrupted John Gospel from 98 AD.
Actually, it wasn't about shunning at all. Those pharisees were testing Jesus thinking he would counter the written law and be in violation and corrupting the law for which they could legally have him killed, discredited and/or exiled! She was most fortunate that Jesus Christ was exactly who said He was. He said not one drop or tittle of the law would change! This meant that Mary the adulteress was condemned to die by the law! It was the fact that the vicious, conniving, vile conspiring pharisees were setting Him up, He knew it and said, "Let He who has gone without sin cast the first stone"! The pharisees as wise as they were gnashed their teeth, grumbled and fled. Jesus then backed up his authority and word and mercy when she crawled to him showing true repentance, He forgave her and she got a new life! She is fortunate that she didn't laugh like Sarah did when she was too old to bear children and giggled when the Holy Spirit promised Abraham his own seed! For this giggle, Sarah fell and Hagar gave birth to a seed who would bring her torment! The scripture isn't playing around people. Keep reading it until God gives you Jesus Christ's discernment! Otherwise you may end up like many millions who are too terrified to be terrified for all the right reasons, thus becoming terrified for all the wrong reasons! IF WE REMEMBER NOTHING, REMEMBER THIS: Jesus always knew who He was and what He was. The New Age would like us all to believe that Jesus did not think He was the Messiah or that He was unsure until after a certain point. I tell EVERYONE that on my own soul JESUS CHRIST KNEW WHO HE WAS THE WHOLE TIME ESPECIALLY WHEN SATAN HIMSELF TESTED HIM. Please don't ever let a cult or anyone else ever teach you or tell you different even under penalty of DEATH. This New Age deception is the wide path and gate that the many follow IT IS NOT STRAIGHT OR NARROW that few be there who find it. If you are the few, then jump for joy and grab as many as you can off the wide path without loosing the true short direction!
TheScrewedGeneration this the rule I follow in my new life when Jesus says go and sin no more ..I stop sining ...as in don't hurt others don't hurt yourself...peace
It's hard for me to express how much I appreciate, admire, and respect you, John. Hang in there! You have NO idea how many people from around the world you are helping by sharing your story. If you are ever in the US, I'd love to meet you and your wife, and it would be my pleasure to take you out for dinner. May God bless and keep you and your family.
There are 10 years now, since I left the org... ; I didn't speak to anyone yet.. A man that left, cannot live a life, his life is ended. Nothing helped, including menthal health help. I cannot find other words for such a trauma... Remaining alone, shunned, and depressed. BUT - Jehovah exists, He gave me my son, and that is all the reason I live for.... The pain of being shunned, cannot be bescribed. I have never recovered, I cannot find identity, I cannot be me. I have left because of blood transfusion... Reading your father email to you, I started crying man... Such a pain...
I have nothing but love and appreciation for you. Making your exit official is a dark time even though your happy to break the ties. Like your wife my letter was also rejected but it was perfect to me and so I walked away. Please continue sharing your journey, it helps us all to heal.
I am deeply touched by your experience! Thank you very much for sharing it. This video will probably go down in ex-JW youtube history as the most revealing video of what this dangerous and power-hungry cult is capable of. Of course, I don't know you personally, but from watching this video, I feel like you are a close friend who just unburdoned himself to me. I'm sure all who watch this will feel the same. Keep strong and stay close to your family. They are what matters most! You've done a great service by sharing this. Thank you again.
That is one powerful e-mail, and if it were my father writing it to me, I would get the impression he (my dad) is as devastated about the whole situation as you (me) are John. It must have been almost as difficult for him to write as it was for you to read. I hope he will come to the realisation about WT that you eventually did, and you can soon all be reunited in life and family, as you all deserve. Thanks for sharing your story, and best wishes to you and yours for the future. Craig
Wow just watched this . Ex JW for 22 years . Never disfellowshipped baptised 89 at 16. Born into. Never was DF due to one elder???? Yes he had a " thing " for me. Yes I was sexually abused by a " brother" yes my mum was told that she needs to trust jehovah and not go to police . Anyway been following u for a few yrs now . I'm grateful for u mate soooo much !!!!! I have hope for my future now . Thanks John !!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Here's the Luther Quote "I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen." Thanks for sharing your story John. I think your courage will help others do the same.
Just now seeing this, 2017. My heart bleeds despite that you've recovered well and are helping hundreds see TTATT. My mother texted me the same way with reassurance that she loves me, but Jehovah more and wrote, "Do not reply." Those are the last words I got from her, but a piece of literature "Come Back to Jehovah" several months later. No letter included.
My heart feels your pain in reverse I have lost my son to the Jehovah's Witnesses and with it I carry the guilt of raising him in it... He reminded me of that fact... I so wish that 23 year old mother ( me) knew what I know now.... That being said I will not be emotionally blackmailed... not even by my son...
that letter: he seriously makes it sound like this shunning is just all part of being a parent when nothing could be further from the truth. if he doesn't like your choice, he can still support you. you're not a drug addict. uggggh !
Growing up, shunning was a part of getting punished. And I got punished for things I didn't even do. I could go months without my mother speaking to me. Why? I don't know. Guess I was never just good enough. I kinda got used to it tho and developed a great deal of independence and thick skin. For people experiencing this at an older age it might be more devastating. For me right now, if you don't talk to me, your loss!
Ndutim Enang That's what I said too. You don't want to talk to me? Cool! I could give a shit less. My parents refused to do that. No one would tell my dad what to do. He was a devoted witness, but that only went so far. If someone overstepped their bounds, he told them about it. Somehow, they let him slide.
Ndutim Enang have a look at personality disorders esp narcissistic personality disorder. I think you may find that helpful as to why parents punish children with silence x
Why even go through this whole judicial committee bs at this point? At this point we know it's all bs so why continue to play their game? What they say or do or think literally means nothing
Not having ever anything to do with that religion I have the same question. It's more like you should shun them. They no longer have any power over you. Why subject yourself to their illusionary authority. You are only authenticating them.
Because we are so traumatize that we still respect them as if they do have jurisdiction over us. Is so sad. I wrote my resignation letter and i still thank them for all. What? Thank them for Ruining my life. But i couldn't even put that in writing.
Lol I was disfellowshipped in 2002 for a "bad attitude" and they were fearful my "bad attitude would be detrimental to the congregation"😂🤣😂😂 I was only 18 years old
I have watched several of your videos but had put off watching this one because I assumed it would make me feel exactly as it has. I am just sick. And so sorry that this happened. After I was disfellowshipped (about 11 years ago), my mother would occasionally (maybe two or three times) send me a card telling me that she still loved me. The last card (about 5 years ago) came in a package containing my baby blanket and clothes, baby book, silver cup and spoon…basically everything she’d saved. In her card she said she was sending these things to me as she no longer had use for them. She signed the card: Love, Mom. I had never thought about the prodigal son in this way. Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks Cedars for sharing your experiences. Congratulations on being out, and my heartfelt sympathy for the shunning this terrible organization is making your family do to you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am very sorry for your loss, but am equally happy you were also able to find the courage to stand up not just for yourself but for others. Much love o you and your family.
Very brave of you to post this greatly personal story Lloyd, and to keep it up all these years. Thank you so much. I for one love you for sharing your story for your own catharsis and to help others.
You should come back and watch these older videos. Even though you had already been fading, you can see such a large difference in your mannerisms. You can actually see the effects of the constant abusive bombardment from watchtower, making your own personality seem so muted. It's quite fascinating.
Getting caught up on past videos. This one was painful for me to watch. I saw your pain but, I saw your warrior too! Now I see your joy with your family and your work! Blessings!
At least your dad seemed to speak from the heart rather than just mindlessly parroting some WT BS. My mom texted me out of the blue something to the effect "I have received strong counsel from the scriptures and will be cutting off all contact with you until you come back." Translation: she was troubled by me being inactive and living a life of sin so she talked to someone and they told her to do that. She truly doesn't realize that she cemented my decision to never go back. I want nothing to to with an organization that not only teaches that that type of behavior is acceptable, but encourages it.
When I read the mail from your father, the tears came to me. He will certainly continue to love you. Have seen the video from Leah Remini with the photos from your father - he lookes so sympathetic. I wish you a lot of strength! And greetings from Germany. My husband and I love your videos.
Well, the email you got from your dad was slightly more loving than the one I got from my parents who couldnt even bring themselves to say 'we love you but...'. I got 'you have made it very difficult for us', 'you are moving further away from [Jehovah's] family and hence ours', They signed off 'Dad and Mum' not even a 'love from'... To be honest, I was shocked! I have always got on very well with my parents and they were always pretty reasonable with us growing up. So sad what the Org does to good people.
I found this so moving. The love that you shared with your father was clear and I’m so sad for you and the relationship that you have lost. I’m sad too that’s he’s lost the time with you, your wife and beautiful daughter. Im fortunate to never have been involved with religion but I’ve followed your videos for a year or so, to understand the stories of those who have and are. You look like a different person now, I hope that you have found peace with it.
Hi John,Chin up.I wish you and your family the best that is on offer throughout the coming years.I admire your stand and the courage with which you conducted yourself.You have nothing to be ashamed of.Good Luck,My Friend.Keep posting the videos,A great source of encouragement for many who are in a state of flux. Kind Regards, Arnold.
I couldnt hold watching your video and not shed tears. I was a Witness for about over 25 yrs. It took me a long time to make up my mind on making a decision wether to leave or stay as a Witness. I was sure of making my letter of resignation. The only thing I couldnt stop thinking about was my Mom and Dad all along. I knew thier stance my mom a pioneer and dad an elder they would chose thier beliefs above all. I know the bible very well and always had My Own questions and doubts but I could never speak or ask about them. I dont have a denomination or even consider myself a Christian ( no disrespect to Christians) I do believe so Strongly that Love ( real genuine ) Love is what is the Most imoportant things to have and show to each other regardless of what any of us on this Beautiful Earth believe. I enjoy your videos and I am glad that you also share your knowledge too.
Very well stated, I feel exactly the same way and what hurts more than anything is the Shunning that you know you'll be faced with as you lose family members and life long family and friends. Most people won't understand what that pain and alienation feels like. It's not that you want to choose another Religion it's just that you come to a point where you have questions that need to be answered or practices that you no longer agree with.
I wasn't expecting that scene from STNG at the end. It's one of the most powerful scenes of the whole series, and has definitely helped to shape how I view the manipulations of others.
@Felix Rosa Captain Picards says: "There … Are … Four … Lights!" You need to see it in context to understand it. It's from the episode "Chain of Command: part II" (Star Trek: The Next Generation).
John. Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate your level of communication and how you are able to help us face our unresolved past. Best wishes, to you and your family, on this new chapter in your life.
So much respect for you, John, I was shunned by my family nearly 15 years ago and although it still hurts, the positive things that I have experienced in my life still massively outweigh the pain of losing my family. I wouldn't have it any other way, I know from experience that you and your family will go on to have enormous happiness in your lives, I wish you all the best and if you ever happen to find yourself in Brighton, UK, get in touch and I'll take you and your wife out for a meal.
That last clip was a fantastic conclusion! You stand by your belief and decision despite being emotionally torn apart and beaten down. You see clearly despite the mind games and pressure to change. Jean Luc can always be counted on to deliver the best messages in strength, reason, and determination.
It's amazing to see Lloyd at the beginning stages of his ex jdub journey. He has blossomednas a person so much since and it kind of synchronises with my journey in terms of the emotions. Im proud of u Lloyd for standing up for yourself. This decision to launch the website and have the John Cedars channel saved alot of young men and women from wasting their lives in this cult. We are eternally greatful to you.
Lloyd, I’ve been watching your videos mostly the newer ones and I’m absolutely inspired by your story. I’m lucky to have not grown up in a cult but I consider myself an anti-theist and I am grateful for your efforts and heartbroken about your story. What an incredible act of courage to leave, a feat of intelligence to wake up, a testimony to your compassion to have the body of work you now have. You sir are an admirable human. Best!
I have been watching your videos for a while now (I am not and never will be a JW) but as a parent I wanted to express how deeply saddened I am for you and the loss of your parents. I can feel how much the email hurt both him and you and for that I can only send you love and hope that all of your separated hearts are as ok as they can be. Of course your mum mustn’t be forgotten and again my heart is filled with sadness at this terrible outcome. You are such an inspiration and I thank you for all you do to help (with love and fantastic humour) as much as you can. Keep fighting and spreading the truth 💖
The email from the dad at the end is so heartbreaking. I feel like Ive heard somewhere that the governing body aren't allowed to have children. If that is true, I can promise you the reason is because they would then understand how hard it is for people to shun their own children and might eventually soften the rules. These men are so cruel. I doubt they even believe what they say anymore. I feel like its such a show. Its just a job to them.
The letter at the end is heartbreaking. I am so sorry you went through that interchange with your father, as I did with my mother. I spoke to her on the phone when my JC was settled, which is approaching 5 years ago now. Out of all of the relationships I lost, she is the only one that matters to me. I was still mentally captive to the organization until a little over a year ago, but you helped me immensely with your well researched, factually bulletproof arguments, and I feel like nearly a whole person again...If only I can show my mother what I know now and win her back, I will once again be complete....Thank you so much for all that you have done, and continue to do to help people escape that evil, destructive organization!
John Cedars, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sharing your experience! I appreciate everyone that shares their experience. I've only truly woken up within the last 2-3 years. I was disfellowshipped in late 2010, I think (shows you how much I care about it). I haven't publicly shared my experience, because I always manage to convince myself it's nothing compared to what others have been through. But the way it has molded me is the most difficult thing for me to undo, and I'm very rarely and very temporarily able to build myself up above it. I have both of my parents and 4 sisters that are still JWs, 2 brothers that were never even baptized. But what hurts the most is not being able to see my nieces and nephews grow up. I have only one niece that disagrees with the teaching of shunning, and we keep in touch. I can't allow my mind to think about the rest of my family (parents, sisters, cousins and their parents, and all of their children), because it makes me practically immobile. I've tried sharing things I've learned with my mom on a few occasions and she actually gave me the "but where would we go?" line. She didn't speak with me often since I was df'ed but it's only to talk to my daughter. My dad doesn't even acknowledge me when he's face to face with me. NOTHING HURTS LIKE THAT!!! I was always a daddy's girl, the goodie good in the family, the smiley one everywhere I went, and now I'm the only one in my enormous family that is shunned. I have cousins that aren't JWs and my husband is "worldy", but they'll be invited to gatherings with the kids without question. My husband won't go because it's obviously ludicrous to go to MY family's gatherings without me, but we begrudgingly let our kids go, because it's not right in my eyes to punish them for something they can't even truly comprehend. Anyway, I was in tears reading your dad's email, because it felt like something my dad would say to me. You and so many others give me another pick-me-up whenever I need it, or a good laugh. But the pain never goes away as anyone being shunned understands. Thank you! And hope I didn't write too much. :/
That email is heartbreaking. I feel terribly for your father. That conviction towards an organization of people who really do not care for us is real. I’m sorry for your family
After watching a few of your videos and finally seeing where it all ended, this was a very powerful moment. Amazing the lengths to which a religious organisation will sink to retain member. If there was every an example of sowing salt into the soil. Hardly an example of love and caring. Thank for sharing, enjoy your freedom again.
I sense and understand your deep seated feelings, of sadness in this video. I have been before a judicial committee for the sin of drunkenness. Though I begged and pleaded for mercy the elders contacted the branch and had me wait 7 days in agony before I found out my fate which was a public reproof. I almost lost every friend I had ever known including all my large family of relatives. I faded not long after mental health issues was the reason given. today I live a quiet stress free life saddened by the experiences like yours and thousands of others. You showed great courage in the course of standing firm for your principles at the cost of loosing your family. I watch this site often. Hold your course
Wow 😮, I was totally captivated with your story and the humility in which you told us. Reading your Fathers email at the end was emotional and yet reinforces your decision in wanting to help others with how important it is for them to both use critical thinking and hopefully wake up. The prodigal son. 🍀👍🏻
Your father's words really struck a nerve. I would be gutted to read such an email from my father. This dangerous cult destroys families and Individuals. Keep doing this work. Keep sharing your insights. Keep that gentle encouragement coming. Maybe leaving the cult won't be so devastating to people as it is right now. Much love and respect to you and your wife. ❤
Has your father ever met his granddaughter? I understand that some haven't seen their grandchildren even into their teenage years and beyond. It's exceedingly sad. It's incomprehensible. All done for......nothing.
I know these comments have been 2 yrs ago but I don’t understand why grandparents shun their grandchildren bc their child is disfellowshipped. Especially if the grandchild is not disfellowshipped. That grandbaby has done nothing “wrong”. Not even in the eyes of Jehovah. Many of the people I was friends with in my old congregation still choose to have contact with the innocent grand babies. My daughter and son in law are kicked out. Their kids were not even baptized. Yet their other set of grandparents have shunned them bc they left the religion along with their parents when the kids were 11 and 14
I'm grateful we have you speaking honestly, intelligently and, yes, even kindly, the real truth in this public forum. Even when it is personally heartbreaking. I know it's been a few yrs now and you are making your way. I also know that the hurt of losing family like this never really goes away. ***hugs*** in freedom. welcome to the light.
look what you've done to yourself, you've managed to get what life is all about. becoming better than your parents are or were. you made it. If you now pass it on your own children the evolution took place. You can feel proud of yourself about that. What a happy man you must be. :-)
you are my hero. Your intelligence, knowledge of doctrine and the scriptures totally rattled them. I'm so sorry about your father shunning you. Keep doing what you do Lloyd. It's truly saving lives and families. Many hugs.
This was powerful and so well presented. That ending really shook me. My mother, a woman of very few words, didn't say half as much, but I believe her affection for me is genuine. I was blind like her, but I would never have cur her off completely. I just couldn't.
I've been disfellowshipped for 31 years now. I was lucky enough to be able to spend the last 6 months of my dads life with him. During that time I had an argument with my mother where she stated I made my choice and must live with it. I in turn said to her ' you also have made a choice based on your beliefs to shun me' we all have choices and this was yours. It astounded me that she could not or would not grasp this concept. It was your choice, end of story. I would never put anything above my family.
I would like to tell you its all smooth sailing from here on, and I really hope it is for you. Its hard when this reality of a broken family is with you, and year in year out you do move on with your life, but, it never leaves you. Thats why all of us come on here, trying to find some sense in it all. I hope your Dad comes around. I really hope he does. Your message of what this does to families needs to be spread afar.... Good on you for speaking out so boldly. :)
Cedars! You have my respect and admiration! I have have met both you and your wife and thought what nice people you both are. I have read your articles ,watched many of your videos and agreed with everything you have said! The one thing that never sat well with me was you said all these things yet you were still one of Jehovah's Witnesses . so I personally felt that you did not have weight behind the words you said! HOW WRONG WAS I! The strength it must of taken to do this is truly amazing! Carry on the good work and I truly hope your in laws treat you with the respect you deserve!!!!! No one should ever lose there family as I have because of shunning. Cedars THANK YOU.
Thank you for sharing, John. I still have tears flowing, long after watching the video. The words of your father are very touching and shows the love bond between a father and son are not easily broken. I don't believe your father 'wanted' to make that decision, but the organisation he has decided to give his life to has told him he must do it. It's one of the most inhumane and despicable rules that any so-called 'Christian' religion could force upon a family, simply because you have decided to discontinue following a sect. I can only hope that his desire to see his new grandchild and you in the future will still allow him some contact, even if briefly. My daughter hasn't spoken to me for 12 years since I left the Watchtower...I didn't even know she had gotten married until 4 months after her wedding. It hurts, but I have a much better life now, away from the control of the GB. John, it will hurt like hell for a while, but believe me, it does get better. Stand firm, because you've made the right decision. Keep the lines of communication open with your father, and who knows...he may see sense and still have contact with you. Well done on breaking free from the sect, John. Welcome to the real world....the truth about the truth has truly set you free!
This video made me cry at the end. The email from your dad shows what a heartbreaking situation the organisation put you both in. To even have to say something like that to your own child is devastating I remember how my mum felt when my sister was diisfellowshipped it almost broke her! Thankfully we all with the exception of one left the organisation but at the time it was a horrendous strain not only for my poor diisfellowshipped sister but also for those of us still in who had to hold to what we now know to be a wrong teaching. Great thought provoking video thanks for sharing what I know is a personal and emotional situation.
I left the JW's for the same reasons as you did, Lloyd -- I no longer believed. JW disfellowshipping articles focus on former members who "sin" and practice "wickedness." They expect them to repent. How are we supposed to repent from not believing? We can only pretend to believe again, if we want to see family members who are shunning us. Their guilt tactics may work on JW's who claim to believe, but "just can't follow it." (A statement that has always dumbfounded me.); but a non-believer can't be guilted into believing again!
John, thank you for sharing this painful episode of your story. I can well appreciate how it feels to receive that email from your father because it reminds me of when I had a similar letter from my mother (quite some time after I had been dfd, actually). Mother stuck resolutely to her resolve to have no more to do with me so I know the sort of thing you will be facing during the coming time with your dad's silence. I used to hope that one day my mother would respond to my very infrequent letters but she never did and my son who was born after this never knew her. That was painful so I know how it must feel for you to acknowledge that your own child may never know your dad. But my son grew up without the brain-mangling I had to go through as a JW kid. He is now a well qualified professional young man and I am so grateful we were able to be normal (well, sort of!) parents for him. Be great parents for your own child and be thankful you have got the JW thing out of the way first. I hope that one day your father will set out on the journey you have made and are making.
Thanks for sharing this John. I'm sorry your Dad sent the e-mail but as someone who is shunned as well I hope one day our parents will come to their senses or the Watchtower relaxes their rule
Severely depressed for nearly 40years ,got involved with the witnesses about 30 years ago hoping for a better life ,but all it does is break you trying to measure up to endure, and also when everyone else is living in a different reality it's enough to drive you insane,it is absolutely mentally impossible for broken mind's to get their heads round,make no wonder there's so much depression and suicide.if your mentally unstable this religion can push you over the edge
My brother...I am so sorry for what you have gone through. You seem as anxious as I was 15 years ago when I went through my "Committee Meeting". As I have said before, "Tears are the best way to wash away the lies placed over our eyes."
So sorry, painful. Just know we all support you and feel for you. Your dad needs to make his choice, but eventually love wins. You are strong, you can carry on and wait this out. Love wins, love always wins.
If JWs asked me (I was never an official member of a church) about threats , I would ask why they hold a constant threat over every member of their church that if one leaves, they will lose their family.
John, I'm happy for you and sad for you at the same time. I'm glad you're free, but the blackmail of your family saddens me. Right now with the baby on the way, the last thing your wife needs is the unneeded stress from the elders and watchtower rules. When your daughter comes into this world, that's when your parents are really going to struggle in their convictions as Jw's. Not long ago my buddy peaceintruth was df'd and I know my days are very much numbered now. All I can say is, I'm going to record mine because I want my wife to hear for herself what I have to say. I have 3 kids, all young boys, and I know that when this finally happens it's going to be very tough on them. I will NOT let these boys get brainwashed by this cult like I was. I'm hoping your living arrangements and circumstances are left as they are now. That part really concerns me because the Watchtower is not happy until they feel like they have won. If those elders tamper with your wife's parents, open the gates of hell on them and make them regret the day they came looking for you. Thanks for sharing your story.
i know this video is really old by now but it truly breaks my heart to see this. im glad that its been 6 years now and john has his own wonderful family and the biggest following of any exjw youtuber. he helped me wake up and i am eternally grateul for that.
😢 I'm so sorry for your loss . hard to believe that anyone who professes their love for you, could believe in that sort of treatment...best to you and your wife and coming family.
Mr John ceders I was moved to tears when I read that email I want to say more but the hurt is too much at this time because I will soon have to go through it with my mom because I no longer believe keep up the fight u open my eyes
I don't have other relatives in the "truth." only a cousin, that's a little weird. She shuns me. but she's been carrying a book bag since she was 5 years old. She's 61 now. I understand why. I'm sorry for your pain.
My judicial meeting took place at my house, My mother had left and wasn't due to come back for a few hours. The Elder, who was my former Bible study teacher, sat me down with my current teacher who happened to be his son in law for a meeting that lasted a solid 30 minutes or at least it felt that way. I was firm in everything I said I showed a cheery smile because I wanted to prove people outside of "The Truth" can be happy. My heart raced the entire time and that was the last time I saw either of them.
I'm so sorry about your dad. It's clear you love him very much. I admire your message, but not all of your methods. Despite that, I hope it gets to as many people as possible. Take care. :)
I got blindsided with a judicial. I was just told the Elders wanted to meet with me. I had been in my local congregation for over 20 years, and they spent about 20 minutes and then D'Fed me.
Matt R. What the organization doesn't understand is, they are doing you a favor. They are giving you a way out. You don't need to attend any of their stupid meetings, or their field service. You are freed. Emancipation! The hard part is trying not to run to your car and speed away. You can get on with your life. Go to college and not feel guilty. Free to do something truly meaningful with your life.
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Dear God. I've never been JW, I'm a mental health worker and recently taken on a client who was disfellowshipped. I've been watching your videos to try and understand what they are going through. I'm not supposed to get emotionally involved in my cases but watching this and reading your dad's email I felt like crying. I'm so sorry. Sorry for you, your family, my client, and everyone else affected by this.
Thanks Charlotte. I appreciate you going to the trouble to understand these issues so you can better help your clients.
Charlet, we are fighting, supernatural demonic forces, yes, plug in nepelims,,, press images, bang to rights you gotem, they may materialise again and put on human form, mathew, cha, 24, v 36,-39 please do read this, interesting information,,,, do not listen to this Guy, a serious danger to you,,, he belongs to the seed of Deception, cute but dangerouse, person, be carefull, do read, john ch, 2,v 18-19 he mr evans is aposeing, Gods kingdom, thankyou, to you,
Because my father never became a Witness, I was not pressured to become baptized, and I decided not to make such a commitment until I was older. It was this decision that allowed me to leave "The Organization" without being disfellowshipped.
My late Mother cried her eyes out the night I decided to stop going to meetings, but I avoided completely losing family and friends. Forcing or encouraging underaged kids to get baptized often sets these poor children up for terrible heartbreak in the future. :(
So sorry to see this xx
Prodigal son: "But while he was STILL A LONG WAY OFF, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."
The father didn't even know WHY his son was returning. It didn't matter. Family shows unconditional love.
The WT forces it's followers to ignore the very book it claims to hold the keys to.
In my experience, unconditional love was something that sounded great in written word.
In my family, our cats, dogs and my horse taught me more about the true meaning of love-conditional or otherwise. I was corporally silenced for mentioning such feelings and observations.
Religious indoctrination is the cruelest cut to any young mind, developing selfesteem and critical thinking.
Religions are a man-made construct. You don't need a degree in dooknocking to figure this out.
By the way in Jesus' teachings the Father represents God the Father while the prodigal son represents us.
The reason I stopped my two year bible study with the JW, is that according to them, I had to obey God and then he would love me. For me that meant that God didn't love me unconditionally and that was the end of story for me. So I am not suprised they put on all these conditions for human beings to love eachother.
@@jmnewmomics The two greatest curses ever visited upon Mankind: war and religion.
I don't know how relevant this parable is. If Lloyd decides to go back to the religion, the JW would have to let him back into the fold because of that scripture. Right now Lloyd is the son who is squandering his inheritance.
A close friend of mine was disfellowshipped because he told the elders exactly what he thought of them and how they are a bunch of immoral hypocrites. Luckily for him the only family members were his children so obviously they went with him. He and his now grow up children are glad they did and have never looked back. All living happy and successful lives.
Joolz Essam did you shun him?
i remember my judicial meeting too. not easy. but so worth it. it was even harder for me because i was still brainwashed for a full 2 years after my meeting
Telltale I follow your channel. Love your videos. Honest question here: why put yourself through that? Why not just stop going? That's what I did.
TELLTALE YOURE HERE AHHH I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL!!!!
I never went to my JC meeting, They wanted me to drive 300 miles, miss work, and have to get a hotel. I asked if they would pay for all of my loss (i.e. loss of pay, hotel, and driving expenses) they said no. So I told them to stick it.
seedy3 CD3 best thing to do. I'm so happy for all of you that managed to leave this sect.
@@kosmicken Me too.
I know this happened years ago for you.... but I am waist-high deep in the middle of it right now. thank you for your bravery, strength and courage ... you give me hope to keep going. thank you!
That one girl just leave. This is a cult. U are not leaving God, u are leaving a cult. Her are some things that might help u. Google beth sarim. Also lookheed martin and the watchtower. Please past this on u people have been deceived by a religion that is really an empire on making money. Jesus said love thy mother and father. Fathers love thy children. Leaving your kids is not Of God. The w t cult must be expose at all cost. But people need to check all information on this false religion that has torn families apart. I have been trying to help anyone i can. It is very sad when religion comes between family. God is unity not seperation.people wake up. Speak agains these false teachers and don't give up or go back in there
Jay Lui - I have now left and started my own TH-cam series to help others out too... I so appreciate your kindness support and helpful suggestions. I know of Beth Sarim... just wow right?!? ... and I will look into your other suggestion. You are so right that God should not interfere with families.
All my love and support in your reaching others, much peace in your healing, and cheers to a better future my friend. 🍻
🍀❤That One Girl❤️🍀
That One Girl rule's rule's rule's ....no ..no ..no. love ...love. love.. yes. Yes. Yes. Peace
That One Girl 1
I hope you are o.k. All I can tell you is once you make the break there is a great interesting journey awaiting you. You will need to find your new path and you will learn so much. I suggest you get some Louise hay books and you listen to some of her videos. She is not a witness but her message is one of unconditional love. Frances Scoville Shinn also is one to guide you in your new path. Good luck and I pray Jesus will guide you. Open your heart to him. Study his true teachings.
Oh I know we are NOT suppose to say Good Luck. LoL.
I absolutely cannot get over the tireless amount of Jehovah's Witnesses that try and defend this as "a Choice" that we, the ones leaving, make. Yes, it is a choice we make once our eyes have been opened. But what is astonishing is that no one seems to see the ultimatum placed for ones who disagree with the teachings and lies of the Watchtower and Tract Society. Sure, you can leave. But if you do, you'll lose everything you ever knew and love. Your choice. Right. So after you've spent years closing me into your little bubble of world, cutting out "worldly" people, having me chase down "theocratic" goals in the name of jehovah, once I've wasted my youth on Pioneering and everything else, after I've avoided my own non-witness family, after all I know is this organization....seems like you've just set me up to crawl back to you. I am proud to be one of the ones, like you and others, who've made that transition alive. I was fortunate that my mother does not and will never hold that shunning belief, but then again, her own eyes have become opened in recent years as well since I left. But I lost everything else. All my friends, everything I knew, an entire safety net. I had never felt so alone in my entire life. and yet they still spew this crap as a "choice." And this is when I get angry all over again.
+Selina Lehnsherr It's like I always say, they left us to sink or swim, being confident that we cannot swim, so they could watch us crawl back half dead and enjoy it. The ones of us who have survived the transition should feel good about it, get a boost of self-esteem! It's a BIG deal.
Selina Lehnsherr elders on power trip ..I know from one I met ...
That is exactly how it is and it gets me angry too. Thanks for sharing.
Good on your mom for being an individual and a mother & not putting her religion above her family. I just can't imagine that. I wonder how many parents, relatives and friends don't shun when the order is given? Hopefully the trend increases.
This is exactly my sentiments!!
Man john that ending was heart wrenching. It took me back to that time for myself. Now 13 years later so many memories that were lost bcuz of being shunned. All bcuz of a decision I made at 13. I still love my family so much and miss them but I will not be emotionally blackmailed to force me to believe lies. No matter how they word it it is their decision and not yours. At least your child will never have to go through this. My best to you!--tony
When was the last time I was at a meeting? Maybe 2 1/2 years ago for a full meeting. I still go to the memorial out of respect to my family.
Tony Prime I was lucky, I was not close to my family do I didn’t miss them. In fact I was relived Thank goodness my kids were not in the religion , I’m with them now, I got reinstated after I had a stroke and then I researched behind the curtain, shock. Hurt, pains down now more fear then I ever had. I must tell the elders how I feel cause the one I study with never researched, and have no idea about my questions, they don’t believe me, do I cannot bow to the g b and that’s a disfellowshipping offence, I will continue to pray and worship Jesus and Jehovah and hope I get a chance at resserection
This is really sick, shunning your OWN flesh and blood because of some organization.
It's nice that when your daughter grows up, she'll be able to watch these videos and be able to see how you bent over backwards to keep the family together, and that the only hateful attitudes came from the loving bOrg and their followers. (Ironic that we apostates are accused so much that we have no love, only hate). I sincerely hope your dad wakes up, for his sake, and your daughters.
Amen. I wish you and the other shunned ones the best.
What I learned from you from this video was what you said of your father's e-mail notice of shunning: "no son should receive a message like that". I LOVE IT. I wish you all the best with your family and coming child. And Christ bless you. Well, that's me, kind of pushing Christ but it comes from my heart, brother.
There was also the Adulterous woman whom the Pharisees brought to Jesus. She stopped because she got caught and Jesus forgave her. He showed mercy and she wasn't even family. So the shunning here goes out the window. I take pleasure in mercy, not sacrifice.
***** I see the changing of verses to fit their doctrines wasn't enough!
***** TheScrewedGeneration the WTS didn't really delete that passage, it is still there in the NWT. However, it has a warning that this passage doesn't appear in the oldest transcripts of the John Gospel we have. Therefore, it is very possible it is a later addition. It isn't the fault of the WTS that God was incapable of preserving an uncorrupted John Gospel from 98 AD.
Actually, it wasn't about shunning at all. Those pharisees were testing Jesus thinking he would counter the written law and be in violation and corrupting the law for which they could legally have him killed, discredited and/or exiled! She was most fortunate that Jesus Christ was exactly who said He was. He said not one drop or tittle of the law would change! This meant that Mary the adulteress was condemned to die by the law! It was the fact that the vicious, conniving, vile conspiring pharisees were setting Him up, He knew it and said, "Let He who has gone without sin cast the first stone"! The pharisees as wise as they were gnashed their teeth, grumbled and fled. Jesus then backed up his authority and word and mercy when she crawled to him showing true repentance, He forgave her and she got a new life! She is fortunate that she didn't laugh like Sarah did when she was too old to bear children and giggled when the Holy Spirit promised Abraham his own seed! For this giggle, Sarah fell and Hagar gave birth to a seed who would bring her torment! The scripture isn't playing around people. Keep reading it until God gives you Jesus Christ's discernment! Otherwise you may end up like many millions who are too terrified to be terrified for all the right reasons, thus becoming terrified for all the wrong reasons! IF WE REMEMBER NOTHING, REMEMBER THIS: Jesus always knew who He was and what He was. The New Age would like us all to believe that Jesus did not think He was the Messiah or that He was unsure until after a certain point. I tell EVERYONE that on my own soul JESUS CHRIST KNEW WHO HE WAS THE WHOLE TIME ESPECIALLY WHEN SATAN HIMSELF TESTED HIM. Please don't ever let a cult or anyone else ever teach you or tell you different even under penalty of DEATH. This New Age deception is the wide path and gate that the many follow IT IS NOT STRAIGHT OR NARROW that few be there who find it. If you are the few, then jump for joy and grab as many as you can off the wide path without loosing the true short direction!
well said
TheScrewedGeneration this the rule I follow in my new life when Jesus says go and sin no more ..I stop sining ...as in don't hurt others don't hurt yourself...peace
It's hard for me to express how much I appreciate, admire, and respect you, John. Hang in there! You have NO idea how many people from around the world you are helping by sharing your story. If you are ever in the US, I'd love to meet you and your wife, and it would be my pleasure to take you out for dinner. May God bless and keep you and your family.
There are 10 years now, since I left the org... ; I didn't speak to anyone yet.. A man that left, cannot live a life, his life is ended.
Nothing helped, including menthal health help. I cannot find other words for such a trauma... Remaining alone, shunned, and depressed. BUT - Jehovah exists, He gave me my son, and that is all the reason I live for.... The pain of being shunned, cannot be bescribed. I have never recovered, I cannot find identity, I cannot be me. I have left because of blood transfusion... Reading your father email to you, I started crying man... Such a pain...
I have nothing but love and appreciation for you. Making your exit official is a dark time even though your happy to break the ties. Like your wife my letter was also rejected but it was perfect to me and so I walked away. Please continue sharing your journey, it helps us all to heal.
I am deeply touched by your experience! Thank you very much for sharing it. This video will probably go down in ex-JW youtube history as the most revealing video of what this dangerous and power-hungry cult is capable of. Of course, I don't know you personally, but from watching this video, I feel like you are a close friend who just unburdoned himself to me. I'm sure all who watch this will feel the same. Keep strong and stay close to your family. They are what matters most! You've done a great service by sharing this. Thank you again.
That is one powerful e-mail, and if it were my father writing it to me, I would get the impression he (my dad) is as devastated about the whole situation as you (me) are John. It must have been almost as difficult for him to write as it was for you to read. I hope he will come to the realisation about WT that you eventually did, and you can soon all be reunited in life and family, as you all deserve.
Thanks for sharing your story, and best wishes to you and yours for the future.
Craig
Saxon Rascal We owe John our thanks for sharing his experiences with us. I've seldom been so moved by anything as I was by that email.
Chilling. I can't imagine how painful it must be to lose your parents when you still truly love them and they love you.
Wow just watched this . Ex JW for 22 years . Never disfellowshipped baptised 89 at 16. Born into. Never was DF due to one elder???? Yes he had a " thing " for me. Yes I was sexually abused by a " brother" yes my mum was told that she needs to trust jehovah and not go to police . Anyway been following u for a few yrs now . I'm grateful for u mate soooo much !!!!! I have hope for my future now . Thanks John !!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Here's the Luther Quote "I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen." Thanks for sharing your story John. I think your courage will help others do the same.
@3:36 When you go: I am no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses... I went "whoo hoo" out loud :) Cheers Cedars!
Very touching story. Thank you for sharing. If you are ever in Montréal, I'll buy you a drink!
Just now seeing this, 2017. My heart bleeds despite that you've recovered well and are helping hundreds see TTATT. My mother texted me the same way with reassurance that she loves me, but Jehovah more and wrote, "Do not reply." Those are the last words I got from her, but a piece of literature "Come Back to Jehovah" several months later. No letter included.
My heart feels your pain in reverse I have lost my son to the Jehovah's Witnesses and with it I carry the guilt of raising him in it... He reminded me of that fact... I so wish that 23 year old mother ( me) knew what I know now.... That being said I will not be emotionally blackmailed... not even by my son...
learn how to pray and fast , God will release him from this demonic cult.
@@danielmason3105 Leave your own cult.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you two can get back together soon.
Wow. I am just watching this. Powerful moment. You have come so far. 💖💖💖
that letter: he seriously makes it sound like this shunning is just all part of being a parent when nothing could be further from the truth. if he doesn't like your choice, he can still support you. you're not a drug addict. uggggh
!
A loving dad would more likely say, "I disagree with you, but you are still my son. We can agree to disagree."
Growing up, shunning was a part of getting punished. And I got punished for things I didn't even do. I could go months without my mother speaking to me. Why? I don't know. Guess I was never just good enough.
I kinda got used to it tho and developed a great deal of independence and thick skin. For people experiencing this at an older age it might be more devastating. For me right now, if you don't talk to me, your loss!
Ndutim Enang That's what I said too. You don't want to talk to me? Cool! I could give a shit less. My parents refused to do that. No one would tell my dad what to do. He was a devoted witness, but that only went so far. If someone overstepped their bounds, he told them about it. Somehow, they let him slide.
Ndutim Enang have a look at personality disorders esp narcissistic personality disorder. I think you may find that helpful as to why parents punish children with silence x
I can only try to imagine how painful all of this is.
You've come such a long way since this happened. You've grown so much.
To everyone who has been disfellowshipped. I love you. Stay strong. Thanks John for all your beautiful videos. It's very appreciated
Why even go through this whole judicial committee bs at this point? At this point we know it's all bs so why continue to play their game? What they say or do or think literally means nothing
They don’t have any control over you, they are twisted hypocrites, you woke up and called them out!
Not having ever anything to do with that religion I have the same question. It's more like you should shun them. They no longer have any power over you. Why subject yourself to their illusionary authority. You are only authenticating them.
Because we are so traumatize that we still respect them as if they do have jurisdiction over us. Is so sad. I wrote my resignation letter and i still thank them for all. What? Thank them for Ruining my life. But i couldn't even put that in writing.
Lol I was disfellowshipped in 2002 for a "bad attitude" and they were fearful my "bad attitude would be detrimental to the congregation"😂🤣😂😂 I was only 18 years old
I guess they can disfellowship you for anything.
I have watched several of your videos but had put off watching this one because I assumed it would make me feel exactly as it has. I am just sick. And so sorry that this happened. After I was disfellowshipped (about 11 years ago), my mother would occasionally (maybe two or three times) send me a card telling me that she still loved me. The last card (about 5 years ago) came in a package containing my baby blanket and clothes, baby book, silver cup and spoon…basically everything she’d saved. In her card she said she was sending these things to me as she no longer had use for them. She signed the card: Love, Mom.
I had never thought about the prodigal son in this way. Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing your story.
Your child is very fortunate to have you as their Father. I cried.
Thanks Cedars for sharing your experiences. Congratulations on being out, and my heartfelt sympathy for the shunning this terrible organization is making your family do to you.
You have come along way!! From this video to your current ones I see the light back in your eyes!!
We can all heal!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I am very sorry for your loss, but am equally happy you were also able to find the courage to stand up not just for yourself but for others. Much love o you and your family.
Very brave of you to post this greatly personal story Lloyd, and to keep it up all these years. Thank you so much. I for one love you for sharing your story for your own catharsis and to help others.
You should come back and watch these older videos. Even though you had already been fading, you can see such a large difference in your mannerisms. You can actually see the effects of the constant abusive bombardment from watchtower, making your own personality seem so muted. It's quite fascinating.
Getting caught up on past videos. This one was painful for me to watch. I saw your pain but, I saw your warrior too! Now I see your joy with your family and your work! Blessings!
At least your dad seemed to speak from the heart rather than just mindlessly parroting some WT BS. My mom texted me out of the blue something to the effect "I have received strong counsel from the scriptures and will be cutting off all contact with you until you come back." Translation: she was troubled by me being inactive and living a life of sin so she talked to someone and they told her to do that. She truly doesn't realize that she cemented my decision to never go back. I want nothing to to with an organization that not only teaches that that type of behavior is acceptable, but encourages it.
When I read the mail from your father, the tears came to me. He will certainly continue to love you. Have seen the video from Leah Remini with the photos from your father - he lookes so sympathetic. I wish you a lot of strength! And greetings from Germany. My husband and I love your videos.
Well, the email you got from your dad was slightly more loving than the one I got from my parents who couldnt even bring themselves to say 'we love you but...'. I got 'you have made it very difficult for us', 'you are moving further away from [Jehovah's] family and hence ours', They signed off 'Dad and Mum' not even a 'love from'... To be honest, I was shocked! I have always got on very well with my parents and they were always pretty reasonable with us growing up. So sad what the Org does to good people.
I found this so moving. The love that you shared with your father was clear and I’m so sad for you and the relationship that you have lost. I’m sad too that’s he’s lost the time with you, your wife and beautiful daughter. Im fortunate to never have been involved with religion but I’ve followed your videos for a year or so, to understand the stories of those who have and are. You look like a different person now, I hope that you have found peace with it.
Hi John,Chin up.I wish you and your family the best that is on offer throughout the coming years.I admire your stand and the courage with which you conducted yourself.You have nothing to be ashamed of.Good Luck,My Friend.Keep posting the videos,A great source of encouragement for many who are in a state of flux. Kind Regards, Arnold.
I couldnt hold watching your video and not shed tears. I was a Witness for about over 25 yrs. It took me a long time to make up my mind on making a decision wether to leave or stay as a Witness. I was sure of making my letter of resignation. The only thing I couldnt stop thinking about was my Mom and Dad all along. I knew thier stance my mom a pioneer and dad an elder they would chose thier beliefs above all. I know the bible very well and always had My Own questions and doubts but I could never speak or ask about them. I dont have a denomination or even consider myself a Christian ( no disrespect to Christians) I do believe so Strongly that Love ( real genuine ) Love is what is the Most imoportant things to have and show to each other regardless of what any of us on this Beautiful Earth believe. I enjoy your videos and I am glad that you also share your knowledge too.
Very well stated, I feel exactly the same way and what hurts more than anything is the Shunning that you know you'll be faced with as you lose family members and life long family and friends. Most people won't understand what that pain and alienation feels like. It's not that you want to choose another Religion it's just that you come to a point where you have questions that need to be answered or practices that you no longer agree with.
Im watching this in 2020, few years after, after watching plenty of his videos. Cant belive how he changed so much.
I wasn't expecting that scene from STNG at the end. It's one of the most powerful scenes of the whole series, and has definitely helped to shape how I view the manipulations of others.
What does he say?
@Felix Rosa Captain Picards says: "There … Are … Four … Lights!" You need to see it in context to understand it. It's from the episode "Chain of Command: part II" (Star Trek: The Next Generation).
You couldn't do it better, and I wish I'd be so brave and clear minded as you! Thank you John!
John. Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate your level of communication and how you are able to help us face our unresolved past. Best wishes, to you and your family, on this new chapter in your life.
John, thank u so much for sharing your journey with us. Ur testimony gives others the strength to finally break free.
So much respect for you, John, I was shunned by my family nearly 15 years ago and although it still hurts, the positive things that I have experienced in my life still massively outweigh the pain of losing my family. I wouldn't have it any other way, I know from experience that you and your family will go on to have enormous happiness in your lives, I wish you all the best and if you ever happen to find yourself in Brighton, UK, get in touch and I'll take you and your wife out for a meal.
That last clip was a fantastic conclusion! You stand by your belief and decision despite being emotionally torn apart and beaten down. You see clearly despite the mind games and pressure to change. Jean Luc can always be counted on to deliver the best messages in strength, reason, and determination.
It's amazing to see Lloyd at the beginning stages of his ex jdub journey. He has blossomednas a person so much since and it kind of synchronises with my journey in terms of the emotions. Im proud of u Lloyd for standing up for yourself. This decision to launch the website and have the John Cedars channel saved alot of young men and women from wasting their lives in this cult. We are eternally greatful to you.
I know this all too well. I have been out for 31 years. You handled this so beautifully and graciously.
Lloyd,
I’ve been watching your videos mostly the newer ones and I’m absolutely inspired by your story. I’m lucky to have not grown up in a cult but I consider myself an anti-theist and I am grateful for your efforts and heartbroken about your story.
What an incredible act of courage to leave, a feat of intelligence to wake up, a testimony to your compassion to have the body of work you now have. You sir are an admirable human. Best!
the letter of your dad broke my heart 😢
I have been watching your videos for a while now (I am not and never will be a JW) but as a parent I wanted to express how deeply saddened I am for you and the loss of your parents.
I can feel how much the email hurt both him and you and for that I can only send you love and hope that all of your separated hearts are as ok as they can be.
Of course your mum mustn’t be forgotten and again my heart is filled with sadness at this terrible outcome.
You are such an inspiration and I thank you for all you do to help (with love and fantastic humour) as much as you can.
Keep fighting and spreading the truth 💖
The email from the dad at the end is so heartbreaking. I feel like Ive heard somewhere that the governing body aren't allowed to have children. If that is true, I can promise you the reason is because they would then understand how hard it is for people to shun their own children and might eventually soften the rules. These men are so cruel. I doubt they even believe what they say anymore. I feel like its such a show. Its just a job to them.
This is my favourite Cedars video. I shows what a strong person can do in a difficult situation.
The letter at the end is heartbreaking. I am so sorry you went through that interchange with your father, as I did with my mother. I spoke to her on the phone when my JC was settled, which is approaching 5 years ago now. Out of all of the relationships I lost, she is the only one that matters to me. I was still mentally captive to the organization until a little over a year ago, but you helped me immensely with your well researched, factually bulletproof arguments, and I feel like nearly a whole person again...If only I can show my mother what I know now and win her back, I will once again be complete....Thank you so much for all that you have done, and continue to do to help people escape that evil, destructive organization!
John Cedars, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sharing your experience! I appreciate everyone that shares their experience. I've only truly woken up within the last 2-3 years. I was disfellowshipped in late 2010, I think (shows you how much I care about it). I haven't publicly shared my experience, because I always manage to convince myself it's nothing compared to what others have been through. But the way it has molded me is the most difficult thing for me to undo, and I'm very rarely and very temporarily able to build myself up above it. I have both of my parents and 4 sisters that are still JWs, 2 brothers that were never even baptized. But what hurts the most is not being able to see my nieces and nephews grow up. I have only one niece that disagrees with the teaching of shunning, and we keep in touch. I can't allow my mind to think about the rest of my family (parents, sisters, cousins and their parents, and all of their children), because it makes me practically immobile. I've tried sharing things I've learned with my mom on a few occasions and she actually gave me the "but where would we go?" line. She didn't speak with me often since I was df'ed but it's only to talk to my daughter. My dad doesn't even acknowledge me when he's face to face with me. NOTHING HURTS LIKE THAT!!! I was always a daddy's girl, the goodie good in the family, the smiley one everywhere I went, and now I'm the only one in my enormous family that is shunned. I have cousins that aren't JWs and my husband is "worldy", but they'll be invited to gatherings with the kids without question. My husband won't go because it's obviously ludicrous to go to MY family's gatherings without me, but we begrudgingly let our kids go, because it's not right in my eyes to punish them for something they can't even truly comprehend. Anyway, I was in tears reading your dad's email, because it felt like something my dad would say to me. You and so many others give me another pick-me-up whenever I need it, or a good laugh. But the pain never goes away as anyone being shunned understands. Thank you! And hope I didn't write too much. :/
That email is heartbreaking. I feel terribly for your father. That conviction towards an organization of people who really do not care for us is real.
I’m sorry for your family
After watching a few of your videos and finally seeing where it all ended, this was a very powerful moment. Amazing the lengths to which a religious organisation will sink to retain member. If there was every an example of sowing salt into the soil. Hardly an example of love and caring. Thank for sharing, enjoy your freedom again.
Thank you for doing this work for people. I fully support you because had the same experience with my mum. Appreciate a lot! Wishing you the best.
I sense and understand your deep seated feelings, of sadness in this video. I have been before a judicial committee for the sin of drunkenness. Though I begged and pleaded for mercy the elders contacted the branch and had me wait 7 days in agony before I found out my fate which was a public reproof. I almost lost every friend I had ever known including all my large family of relatives. I faded not long after mental health issues was the reason given. today I live a quiet stress free life saddened by the experiences like yours and thousands of others. You showed great courage in the course of standing firm for your principles at the cost of loosing your family. I watch this site often. Hold your course
Wow 😮, I was totally captivated with your story and the humility in which you told us. Reading your Fathers email at the end was emotional and yet reinforces your decision in wanting to help others with how important it is for them to both use critical thinking and hopefully wake up.
The prodigal son. 🍀👍🏻
Your father's words really struck a nerve. I would be gutted to read such an email from my father. This dangerous cult destroys families and Individuals. Keep doing this work. Keep sharing your insights. Keep that gentle encouragement coming. Maybe leaving the cult won't be so devastating to people as it is right now. Much love and respect to you and your wife. ❤
Has your father ever met his granddaughter? I understand that some haven't seen their grandchildren even into their teenage years and beyond. It's exceedingly sad. It's incomprehensible. All done for......nothing.
No, he still hasn't met her despite multiple opportunities being presented to him. It's very sad. :/
I know these comments have been 2 yrs ago but I don’t understand why grandparents shun their grandchildren bc their child is disfellowshipped. Especially if the grandchild is not disfellowshipped. That grandbaby has done nothing “wrong”. Not even in the eyes of Jehovah. Many of the people I was friends with in my old congregation still choose to have contact with the innocent grand babies. My daughter and son in law are kicked out. Their kids were not even baptized. Yet their other set of grandparents have shunned them bc they left the religion along with their parents when the kids were 11 and 14
Like the first-century pharisees refusing to answer Christ's question...
I'm grateful we have you speaking honestly, intelligently and, yes, even kindly, the real truth in this public forum. Even when it is personally heartbreaking. I know it's been a few yrs now and you are making your way. I also know that the hurt of losing family like this never really goes away. ***hugs*** in freedom. welcome to the light.
look what you've done to yourself, you've managed to get what life is all about. becoming better than your parents are or were. you made it. If you now pass it on your own children the evolution took place. You can feel proud of yourself about that. What a happy man you must be. :-)
muz chan 6b
you are my hero. Your intelligence, knowledge of doctrine and the scriptures totally rattled them. I'm so sorry about your father shunning you. Keep doing what you do Lloyd. It's truly saving lives and families. Many hugs.
Thanks Molly!
Been watching these type of videos for about 6 months now, and this one is by far the most heartbreaking......
This was powerful and so well presented. That ending really shook me. My mother, a woman of very few words, didn't say half as much, but I believe her affection for me is genuine. I was blind like her, but I would never have cur her off completely. I just couldn't.
I've been disfellowshipped for 31 years now. I was lucky enough to be able to spend the last 6 months of my dads life with him. During that time I had an argument with my mother where she stated I made my choice and must live with it. I in turn said to her ' you also have made a choice based on your beliefs to shun me' we all have choices and this was yours. It astounded me that she could not or would not grasp this concept. It was your choice, end of story. I would never put anything above my family.
I would like to tell you its all smooth sailing from here on, and I really hope it is for you. Its hard when this reality of a broken family is with you, and year in year out you do move on with your life, but, it never leaves you. Thats why all of us come on here, trying to find some sense in it all. I hope your Dad comes around. I really hope he does. Your message of what this does to families needs to be spread afar.... Good on you for speaking out so boldly. :)
Lloyd, thanks for your willingness to open this topic back when you did. It is a compelling, credible story.
bums man... what a way to finish the year... strenght to you, your honesty and courage deserve respect!!!!
Cedars! You have my respect and admiration! I have have met both you and your wife and thought what nice people you both are. I have read your articles ,watched many of your videos and agreed with everything you have said! The one thing that never sat well with me was you said all these things yet you were still one of Jehovah's Witnesses . so I personally felt that you did not have weight behind the words you said!
HOW WRONG WAS I! The strength it must of taken to do this is truly amazing! Carry on the good work and I truly hope your in laws treat you with the respect you deserve!!!!! No one should ever lose there family as I have because of shunning. Cedars THANK YOU.
Thank you for sharing, John.
I still have tears flowing, long after watching the video. The words of your father are very touching and shows the love bond between a father and son are not easily broken. I don't believe your father 'wanted' to make that decision, but the organisation he has decided to give his life to has told him he must do it. It's one of the most inhumane and despicable rules that any so-called 'Christian' religion could force upon a family, simply because you have decided to discontinue following a sect. I can only hope that his desire to see his new grandchild and you in the future will still allow him some contact, even if briefly.
My daughter hasn't spoken to me for 12 years since I left the Watchtower...I didn't even know she had gotten married until 4 months after her wedding. It hurts, but I have a much better life now, away from the control of the GB.
John, it will hurt like hell for a while, but believe me, it does get better. Stand firm, because you've made the right decision. Keep the lines of communication open with your father, and who knows...he may see sense and still have contact with you.
Well done on breaking free from the sect, John.
Welcome to the real world....the truth about the truth has truly set you free!
Dad’s letter is just emotional argument after emotional argument. Child-like “reasoning”.
This video made me cry at the end. The email from your dad shows what a heartbreaking situation the organisation put you both in. To even have to say something like that to your own child is devastating I remember how my mum felt when my sister was diisfellowshipped it almost broke her! Thankfully we all with the exception of one left the organisation but at the time it was a horrendous strain not only for my poor diisfellowshipped sister but also for those of us still in who had to hold to what we now know to be a wrong teaching. Great thought provoking video thanks for sharing what I know is a personal and emotional situation.
I left the JW's for the same reasons as you did, Lloyd -- I no longer believed. JW disfellowshipping articles focus on former members who "sin" and practice "wickedness." They expect them to repent. How are we supposed to repent from not believing? We can only pretend to believe again, if we want to see family members who are shunning us. Their guilt tactics may work on JW's who claim to believe, but "just can't follow it." (A statement that has always dumbfounded me.); but a non-believer can't be guilted into believing again!
How can they not understanding this. Nobody can control other people believe and their right to choice what they want for their life.
John, thank you for sharing this painful episode of your story. I can well appreciate how it feels to receive that email from your father because it reminds me of when I had a similar letter from my mother (quite some time after I had been dfd, actually). Mother stuck resolutely to her resolve to have no more to do with me so I know the sort of thing you will be facing during the coming time with your dad's silence. I used to hope that one day my mother would respond to my very infrequent letters but she never did and my son who was born after this never knew her. That was painful so I know how it must feel for you to acknowledge that your own child may never know your dad. But my son grew up without the brain-mangling I had to go through as a JW kid. He is now a well qualified professional young man and I am so grateful we were able to be normal (well, sort of!) parents for him. Be great parents for your own child and be thankful you have got the JW thing out of the way first. I hope that one day your father will set out on the journey you have made and are making.
Thanks for sharing this John. I'm sorry your Dad sent the e-mail but as someone who is shunned as well I hope one day our parents will come to their senses or the Watchtower relaxes their rule
Severely depressed for nearly 40years ,got involved with the witnesses about 30 years ago hoping for a better life ,but all it does is break you trying to measure up to endure, and also when everyone else is living in a different reality it's enough to drive you insane,it is absolutely mentally impossible for broken mind's to get their heads round,make no wonder there's so much depression and suicide.if your mentally unstable this religion can push you over the edge
My brother...I am so sorry for what you have gone through. You seem as anxious as I was 15 years ago when I went through my "Committee Meeting". As I have said before, "Tears are the best way to wash away the lies placed over our eyes."
So sorry, painful. Just know we all support you and feel for you. Your dad needs to make his choice, but eventually love wins. You are strong, you can carry on and wait this out. Love wins, love always wins.
This video brings me to tears by the end both times I've watched it. Curse you, Watchtower!
The respectful way your dad talks makes me think there's hope for him.
If JWs asked me (I was never an official member of a church) about threats , I would ask why they hold a constant threat over every member of their church that if one leaves, they will lose their family.
Years ago in 1987 I met the late Dr Walter Martin who as a Southern Baptist wrote a book on the JW's and described them as members of a cult.
Southern Baptists are another cult.
Keine Ahnung yes, but not nearly as horrible as JW. Not even a little.
John, I'm happy for you and sad for you at the same time. I'm glad you're free, but the blackmail of your family saddens me. Right now with the baby on the way, the last thing your wife needs is the unneeded stress from the elders and watchtower rules. When your daughter comes into this world, that's when your parents are really going to struggle in their convictions as Jw's. Not long ago my buddy peaceintruth was df'd and I know my days are very much numbered now. All I can say is, I'm going to record mine because I want my wife to hear for herself what I have to say. I have 3 kids, all young boys, and I know that when this finally happens it's going to be very tough on them. I will NOT let these boys get brainwashed by this cult like I was. I'm hoping your living arrangements and circumstances are left as they are now. That part really concerns me because the Watchtower is not happy until they feel like they have won. If those elders tamper with your wife's parents, open the gates of hell on them and make them regret the day they came looking for you. Thanks for sharing your story.
Df’d? What does that mean?
i know this video is really old by now but it truly breaks my heart to see this. im glad that its been 6 years now and john has his own wonderful family and the biggest following of any exjw youtuber. he helped me wake up and i am eternally grateul for that.
😢 I'm so sorry for your loss . hard to believe that anyone who professes their love for you, could believe in that sort of treatment...best to you and your wife and coming family.
Mr John ceders I was moved to tears when I read that email I want to say more but the hurt is too much at this time because I will soon have to go through it with my mom because I no longer believe keep up the fight u open my eyes
Iam with you Brotha ! Working on my family now!
I don't have other relatives in the "truth." only a cousin, that's a little weird. She shuns me. but she's been carrying a book bag since she was 5 years old. She's 61 now. I understand why. I'm sorry for your pain.
My judicial meeting took place at my house, My mother had left and wasn't due to come back for a few hours. The Elder, who was my former Bible study teacher, sat me down with my current teacher who happened to be his son in law for a meeting that lasted a solid 30 minutes or at least it felt that way. I was firm in everything I said I showed a cheery smile because I wanted to prove people outside of "The Truth" can be happy. My heart raced the entire time and that was the last time I saw either of them.
I sincerely thank you for sharing your experience.
I'm so sorry about your dad. It's clear you love him very much. I admire your message, but not all of your methods. Despite that, I hope it gets to as many people as possible. Take care. :)
I got blindsided with a judicial. I was just told the Elders wanted to meet with me. I had been in my local congregation for over 20 years, and they spent about 20 minutes and then D'Fed me.
What was your grievous crime?
Matt R. What the organization doesn't understand is, they are doing you a favor. They are giving you a way out. You don't need to attend any of their stupid meetings, or their field service. You are freed. Emancipation! The hard part is trying not to run to your car and speed away. You can get on with your life. Go to college and not feel guilty. Free to do something truly meaningful with your life.
Jim Sherlock, I went back to school 15 years after getting my Associates (while a witness). I just graduated with my Bachelor's a month ago. :)
+Matt R That is wondetful! Congratulations!