She sounds so familiar! I worked with Jewish people in New York in both Brooklyn and Queens-as a non Jewish person my experience was that in any of the Hasidic businesses the men specifically would not even look at me they would call a woman who would get rid of me as quickly as possible- guess I was not modest enough
Let's stop calling them ultra-Orthodox Jews. They are not ultra-Orthodox Jews. They are heretics that rejected the Tradition of the Judges and the Prophets and took up a new religion in Babylon. It is their heretical interpretation of Mashiach that laid the basis for the Xian abomination.
I know exactly what you mean about the magical time with just you and your children. When my abusive husband left, it was me and my 4 children! I parented the way I wanted! I cooked what I wanted, our schedule was for us! I went back to nursing school. I wasn’t scared anymore. I wasn’t being watched with an angry and critical gaze. I was enough for my children. It was my most productive time in my whole life! It was wonderful.
That sounds too perfect, because I believe a family ideally whether Gay or straight should have two parents, but that's always not the case. So should a single person raising a family feel complete on their own? My mother did it all by her self with 5 kids but we never felt complete despite her personal family successes. If it took 2 to make it then it should take 2 to raise them. But that's my opinion.
I have worked with women in prison for killing their abusers in clear circumstances of self defense. Many of them said they felt safer in prison than with their violent controlling husbands.
I’m now on my own after 33 years of marriage. Just being able to set the thermostat the way I want is the best. He didn’t consider me. So now listening to your story my story isn’t on the same level. I send my love to you.
Good for you. Everyone should live on their own for a bit, just to know they can do it on their own. And explore their own likes and dislikes. And learn to stand up on their own. And not be someone else's doormat. I hope you find everything you want in life.
Actually nothing like it but umm ok. You obviously don't know anything about it. No one forces anything and yes many if not most women control the number of children they have with birth control.
@@gothicyidyeah I’m sure all the women being raped in the Kingston clan have control over how many forced pregnancies they endure. You don’t live in every single seperate extremist FLDS cult group, many are truly HORRIBLE and the women have no say in what happens to them and can’t leave
Off the drech is such a definition of "us". Pressuring us not to leave because we will loose our children is emotional terrorism. I lost a small child and it almost killed me. He was taken to Israel and I could not get him back. Thank God , you got custody of your children back.
I gotta say I'm shocked that people could lose their children over this. Shocked. Also, I call BS to ppl who don't support their kids just because they have different beliefs. You can still absolutely love and support your child even IF you have different personal beliefs. Do you "out" your friends over different beliefs? To do this to your own children is deeply upsetting to me. Ive heard ppl saying they're doing the more loving thing. I call BS. My heart goes out to her. I know this would definitely be the very worst pain imaginable. Best to her. She's adorable.
@@marisa941 Exactly. It's the #1 gaslight. Look at Palestine. Complete genocide, that's gone on for decades, and no one can say a thing....or else... "You're anti semitic!".
I am Catholic and was a nun for 12 years. When I decided to leave Religious life my family welcomed me with open arms. I met my husband 3 years after I left and have been married almost 48 years. I thank God that my family was always with me. I am so sorry for all you have been through. By the way, my husband is not Catholic and that was also quite alright with my family.
@@2Ryled I received a Dispensation of my vowels from Rome. I met my husband 3 years later. We married in 1974 and have 2 children & 5 grandchildren. My husband was an MD and practiced for 60 years. He is 90 and I am almost 83. Bill is very ill and is in a nursing home. It is called Horsham Center for Jewish Life .” I use to visit my dear friend’s mom here. I wanted my husband to come here since I always loved this nursing home. I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood and am still friends with some of my neighbors. When I got married at the reception my Jewish neighbors crowned my mom since I was the last to marry. My sister had been married for 4 years before me. My son-in-law is Jewish. I would not of cared if my daughter converted or if my grandkids were reused Jewish. Both Carolyn & Mike are not religious at all. That is ok also. We raised our kids to make their own decisions. God love you. You are a good person.
Chavie is classy. I have seen and semi experienced some of this . I admire her strength, courage, and generosity of spirt. Thanks so much Andrew! God Bless you ,both.
I love how articulate and really pointed she was... it is true ...STOP trying NOT to offend the religious community and put the responsibility back on them!!! They shame the victims for telling their stories and ripping the veil to show what kind of atrocities (mental, physical and spiritual!) are going on. Sometimes you have to summon the courage and TRUE righteousness to advocate for these survivors.
We should also try to stop trying not to offend the Woke community …. Because you should see some horror stories of children who were made to Transition by the adults they trusted, only to REGRET it as they got older!! Now they want to DETRANSITION, but it’s TOO LATE!! So much damage has been done!!
You are the perfect person to comment.....takes one to know one and birds of a feather....the essence is in your name and her story 'creative writing'. These stories are made up of whole cloth. Jaw dropping inaccuracies.....dont you have any self respect so as not to appear so pie in face naive being taken for such a ride!
@@michellelansky4490I didn’t realise you there with her 24/7 for her entire life from birth until finally being free! Tell us what really happened since you lived every second of her own life by her side like a conjoined twin
@@zaiten7653 so you don't think arranged marriages, marital rape and misgendering and dehumanizing (and legalized persecution) of Trans people are atrocious things? Just because they are NOT on the scale of the Holocaust (yet) doesn't mean they're not atrocious. And if you ever studied HOW the Holocaust happened, you'd know how centuries of devaluing one group of people (and then later OTHER groups) allowed the "ultimate" step to occur. In short, your attitude repeated consistently, campaigned vociferously and promulgated violently via polemic and then public policy is what led to it. It didn't happen overnight and certainly not in a vacuum. The greatest atrocities are a summation of "smaller" atrocious actions. So grab your ipad, load Notability and start learning.. you have much to do.
Thank you Andrew for being such an excelsior interviewer! 💗 I learn something new from every person that you interview on your channel. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend.
I'd love to hear about that. I got involved in a cultish group after highschool. I was escaping a traumatic event that had happened. Undoing that bad theology has taken a lifetime.
My mom was raised Pentecostal. I've been struggling to understand my mom... maybe I need to look more into what that childhood is like. Thank you for your comment.
This was such a great interview! I appreciate the point about focusing on the vulnerable people instead of assuming people are attacking their religion or lineage. It’s got to be tough to walk that line as an interviewer, but you do that with compassion and respect💗
Yes! I have spoken out about what I consider to be a human rights violation and said that being a member of a religion that does said practice is no excuse. I have been accused of bigotry for saying so. It isn't bigotry. A human rights violation is a human rights violation no matter how many generations of your ancestors did it.
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2/3rds of Chavie's children are far too old for the "father" to get "custody" of them. Moreover, he basically abandoned them initially. It's a very sick aspect of this sort of cultish sect that parents are forced to constantly fight for their kids, not because the cult parent wants them, but because the cult wants them.
It's not about the children.. it's about destroying HER. In doing so, she could shine a light on what's going on in the community and name names. So the longer this goes on the more they can weaponize the children against her and create the imbalance to prove she's unfit. Money is power.. there's always a dark side to religion.. yet they'll play victim if this comes out.
The "fathers" trying to get custody is often untrue.These "fathers" are revved up by leaders in the chassidic sects and leaders of the communities who get enraged and aldo fear that a woman should go free and perhaps expose some parts of the communities that others will criticise.They blackmail mothers by threatening the kids will be taken away.Usually the community will have big money raising events to 'help the father' get the kids bc religion is above all. Its happened in every ultra orthodox community. Yes,it IS evil. They are wonderful communities to grow up in if you toe the line,if you start thinking for yourself it becomes a prison. Btw it's not just chassidic communities,the Ultra Orthodox Litvish communities are the same.
One of the best testimonies I have ever heard. So articulate and honest, thank you. It came up in my TH-cam recommended. I have equivalent experiences in other ways. I have struggled to see the positives about certain things. Feel so inspired now. It's a real gift to hear a positive take on having to find your own truth, aside from being defined by others.
She is a sick jewish woman that unfortunately has lost her way in Judaism it no being strong it being weak being strong is being connected to God NOT I REPEAT NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM JUDAISM AND GOD IM GLAD THAT HE MARRIED AND MOVED ON.
@@Rochelle1986 you are wrong. God loves everybody. Faith is measured by love and dignity not by your comments stupid human. Stay away from dogma you will be next. HaShem is coming after you.
@@Rochelle1986 Many prophesies of Torah and Tanak foretold of the Coming of YESHUA, Messiah (Jesus Christ). Here are 2 of my favourites: (Isaiah 9:6-7). “For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, 👉Mighty God, 👉Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. “ Daniel 7:13-14 “In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man (Messiah), coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the 👉Ancient of Days (YHWH) and was led into his presence. 14 He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; 👉all nations and peoples of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.” Please read the Gospel and tell me if you feel that this was a Cult? Jesus came to your people FIRST. He is your MESSIAH. Please do some research on this topic .
What has she 'been through'? Most tmof the narratives told are all whole cloth FALSE and creative......do you feel bad for what Harry Potter has 'been through'?
Thank you so much Fr! My mother was a shopper and hoarder and when both my parents died a year apart they left me a houseful of religious objects amongst other things. I'm down to 3 remaining boxes and these have been sitting there for nearly 2 years as I've been at a loss as to how I can dispose of them, especially when they also include objects from a house of prayer that doesn't have church approval here in Ireland. Please God now I will be able to finally rid myself of this burden. God bless you Fr 🙏🙏🙏
@@Woodman-Spare-that-tree selling blessed items is not allowed. I'd also be very wary of donating them to anyone who I didn't know to be a practicing Catholic for fear they'd fall into hands with evil intent.
I’m not Catholic but I collect religious objects from all different religions as I’m a history nerd and religious history is one of my favourite topics. I would love sooo much to own a genuine church pew from a 18th or 19th century church one day. But yeah, would you not even donate them to a history museum or a religious studies department of a university or even someone like me who is entirely non-religious in any way but collects these items for history purposes?
The one thing I can't shake in the custody story is that since Chavie was the one that was taking care of the family affairs in her marriage; I'm almost 100% sure that when their father had their custody, he "dumped" them on his new wife, who now had both her own and her step children to take care of.
I am orthodox Jewish woman living and thriving in the " cult" that Chavie describes. Chavie has been through alot and i feel sorry for her. Unlike her most of us are living very fullfiling happy free lives. We don't feel limited, nor squashed... Our men are good to us , and don't force us in any way. The simplicity and Insulation allows for more family time, connection and living in the moment. Clarifying for those that feel " bad for us" or think we're living in harsh conditions. Thank you
@@kailygutman6023 That's not the whole truth tho is it? Ever wondered why so many of ours are going off ....? And when they do,do you know the shame stigma and ostracization that so many families go through? Suddenly no one will marry the siblings,the parents are dying inside...its not as happy clappy as you pretend.Lying about our human,imperfect communities is not a kiddish hashem! We have serious issues and if we don't face them they only get worse.
I thank you for your view. It is horrible to label women who thrive in a traditional marriage as weak and vulnerable. I am Christian, not fundamentalist, yet I am traditional, and I do not feel weak. I do feel sorry that she had a bad experience, but I think it is wrong to allow her feelings to judge others for their beliefs.
A highly intelligent and articulate person with a self-awareness that few others are capable of attaining. I am uplifted by the beautiful humanity of this person.
My late husband became religious in Emunas Yisroel and we (I am a Hispanic Giyores) we're incredibly welcomed. People were actually refreshingly honest and open. When my husband passed away they took me in. They paid my bills, helped me with my newborn twins and truly loved me. I used to sit in shul next to your grandmother. Your father taught my husband at Ohr Somayach. When I was married we honored your father by including his name on our bentcher. When I became widowed, your mother consoled me as another widow can only console. I had such an incredible experience with this community. I'm so sad you had this experience. As someone who came from a very secular society, finding Judaism and specifically EY was life changing. Specifically, the loving and respectful relationship between your grandmother and grandfather. He wouldn't go anywhere without her. He was so respectful to her. I came from a world where men treated women like meat not like queens. It was so special to see. I thank your grandparents and parents for so much. You look just like your mother.
Well said! I can't even watch these people. The lies they tell are so painful to hear. If they wouldnt create such slander the absurdity would almost be funny. Why would they want to throw their entire families under the bus. Something is wrong with them....and the amount of creativity involved in creating such a narrative is Hollywood worthy.....or is that actually what theyre after....the 'Hollywood worthy'.
@@michellelansky4490 But is it Fair to dismiss her Experience though? Because her experience is one of many girls from stricter households who are of marrying age and who marry a man who is not of their choosing? Theirs was a loveless marriage void of passion ? As a woman , you yourself will know that it’s not easy to turn us on when the man is undesirable or when he is not skilled in the bedroom? It makes the act of S E X very painful and traumatic…. Maybe if her first husband had taken more time to get to know her? To show her affection ? To develop a bond, before engaging in seksual Union? Not easy to give yourself to a complete stranger , especially one who is not interested in helping you to open up?
@@michellelansky4490 I think YHWH created Adam and HAWA to be Soulmates AND Lovers together. Why do you think that Romantic novels, movies and stories are popular with people of all ages, especially the Female species? I think when you have such a small community of people, like in Chavis case, there are not many options of eligible men that she would be attractive to, on both a physical or emotional level. The connection has to be Both. But even if they weren’t matched, some EFFORT on his part would’ve been good. Maybe these types of Communities tend to Focus more on the extra-biblical, Talmudic Laws, rather than simply on the Torah. This is the very Reason your Messiah, YESHUA HA MASSIACH, was unpopular with the Jewish Pharisees of his time? Because he was trying to explain to them that they were going over and above what was necessary? Yeshua ha MASSIACH was saying that we shouldn’t Take Away from the Torah Law, but equally so, we shouldn’t ADD ONTO it either. Talmudic rabbis tend to go full on with the minuscule details, and so they miss the bigger picture. Do you know what a Messianic J ew is? Have you heard of a channel called “One for Israel”?
@@morticiagomez6166 so i didnt listen to the entire interview bec i saw where it was going right away. When you see so so so much outright falsehood involved in the story its difficult to give the personal experiences that go along with the story any respect or credibility. Could she have been involved with a family of dysfunction...yes i agree....but she paints in on everybody and drizzles if with total FALSEHOOD throughout....i think the biggest part is that she became lesbian and wasnt accepted so she became enraged and decided to throw EVERYBODY under the bus. The story she paints is just not realistic or in any way reflect huge majority AT ALL.
I love her. What an incredibly strong human and to have gone through all of this pain and still be so kind hearted and positive is incredible. What a gift to her children. I wish her all the best.
What a phenomenal interview, amazing guest, intelligent, well balanced and insightful. I wish her the best and thank you Andrew for bringing her to us 🤗
Wow! This is all I have right now...going to process this amazing interview! Thank you. This was both painful and fascinating. Bless you both and all of her children!
@@AndrewGold1 I presume this is Julia Haart of My Unorthodox Life? Whilst I’m not minimising her experience at all, it’s important to note that she was never a member of the Hasidic community. She was part of the larger orthodox community (perhaps yeshivish) but not the Hasidic community. The differences are vast.
@@AndrewGold1 Yes, your interview with Julia is also better than most. You are the best interviewer. You ask great questions and you let the guest answer them without interrupting or re-casting their answers. You are the perfect interview host.
**sidebar** Chavie could be a model. She has a beauty that is not of the conventional cookie-cutter style, but very unique, identifiable and magnetic. I couldn't tear my eyes away as she spoke. She also seems really humble, so this type of compliment would no doubt sit uncomfortably with her. If so, I apologize.
@ceebee2447 I totally agree with you. She's so beautiful and I can't stop watching and listening to her. She's facinating to look at and that's coming from a woman.
What an amazing woman! I could listen for several more hours of her telling her story, so well spoken and non judgmental, even though the trauma she gone true ❤ I really respect the way she talks about religion and don't judge others that partake in different religions but see the difference between a healthy relationship with a religion and extremism ♥️ I myself have never practiced any religion but I'm very fascinated in all religions as a interesting topic, but I have never lived in a religious home, even though my sons father is from the Muslim community and I'm born in Sweden so true that I'm living in a somewhat Christian religious country, but most Swedish people are not practicing Christianity, and our government and the church are separate so we do have completely religious freedom, that I personally really enjoy but I see that it also can be difficult for many people! It is a really complicated topic Thank you Andrew for yet another great episode 🙏🏻
Such an awesome interview- thank you to both of you for giving us an insight into what other people have experienced especially when they have had to live by religious beliefs whether good or bad for them- we can’t think everyone’s experiences of life are as we experience, and channels like yours opens our eyes and minds that we don’t all have similar lives 🥰👍🏻🇦🇺
Chabad is known as a more open minded chasdidic ultra orthodox community to the degree that some satmar don’t consider our butchered meat kosher. And would only eat it if they were dying of starvation. These rifts are slowly falling away the past twenty years or so.
I've often wondered if Rebbes from other sects, were jealous of Schneerson, hence the "taint"...as well as Chabad's more open attitudes to BT's. Any thoughts?
Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism- so true! Every religion that has a Fundamentalist branch has the same fears and bigotry, the same misogyny, the same power directed in negative ways towards the most vulnerable. The focus should absolutely be on shining light on the darkness and helping the victims! She is so strong- such an inspiration!❤
You think the Atheists of China, North Korea and former Soviet Union are pro-Womens rights???? Huh huh huh! Think Again, Dudette. Ps. Are you pro-Abortion? You do realise this is baby sacrifice right?
@@morticiagomez6166 never heard of it. However. If they are organized, and they have their own form of a belief system regarding things spiritual, might that not be considered a type of religion? And if fundamentalist, it proves my point about fundamentalist thinking. I will check it out!
@@sharondowling8896 Ask yourself WHY western education does not focus on the ATROCITIES of Militant ATHEISM of the East? All we hear about day in and day out is the Far Right atrocities of the Nazi party and Hitler. Yes, they were BAD. But the FAR LEFT of Russia , China and North Korea killled and tortured 100 times MORE PEOPLE. Why do they NOT teach us more about Far Left problems?? At the SAME TIME, they are pushing ATHEISTIC Ideologies in our Schools and Colleges- pushing their Pseudoscience BELIEFS on us about Big Bang Cosmic MIRACLES and Darwinian Evolution…..? WHY? It’s ALL a Big PUSH against YHWH, our Creator. It’s a SPIRITUAL WARFARE and they are using it against the children from a young age. We are heading more and more towards Far Left ideologies and towards FUN DA MENTAL ATHEISM …. And many people are None the Wiser!
Having affairs at summer camp, getting engaged, going back to summer camp. This is the basic denial of reality that I have faced in childhood when forced to accept things I distrusted so my mind just told the story as if the event wasn’t happening, it was something else. I totally understand this form of thinking. It is difficult not to be able to trust anyone because your mind has been manipulated to not perceive the real world: and it takes sooo much time to unravel the real world from the acceptable story.
@@elishevarosenfed96there is nothing to be confused about she explained it ag the very start when he asked if she was a lesbian. Open your ears. She explained it very well
Having been born in Queens and raised in NY I enjoyed the familiarity of Chavie's accent. It soon occurred to me that being in an isolated community impedes one of the things that makes me love NY. I could bring a new friend home to meet with three close friends from school, and my friend would notice we each have a different accent, even if we grew up in the same borough. My Puerto Rican friend sounds different from my Jewish friend. They both sound different than my Italian friend, and I sound different from all of them. I love that. I was very lucky, and I'll be careful not to take it for granted. Chavie would have been prevented from becoming close to people that live a few blocks, a subway station, or a bus stop away if they had a different background. That's almost like growing up in a completely different NY altogether.
This is putting me into despair and depression and I’m not even involved in this side of life. I can’t even continue to watch but my love and prayers go out to all in these kind of communities. Much much love to you.
Absolute truth. Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism whatever the religion, cult ........ on a really off note you have the most gorgeous hair......
I am so happy that she was able to get her children back. I know the pain and frustration of losing custody... She's a beautiful lady and I wish her all thee luck in the future.
Chavie, I am so glad that you were able to get out of that marriage & that sect & most importantly that you were able to get your children back. I have added you to my intercessory prayer list, of which I pray over daily. May our Father in Heaven bless you abundantly more than you can possibly ask or think & keep you in His loving care 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
what a good example of non-judgmental and empathic living Chavie is to her children. Despite all the pain and difficulties she has been through, instead of showing animosity she does not condemn these religious people. While at the same time helping others who have chosen their own way to distance themselves from a closed belief system.
I was raised in a secular Jewish home so it wasn’t strict at all… thank goodness. I mean we had our bat mitzvahs but my parents were very easy going and let us do our own journeys. I couldn’t imagine every moment of my life being planned. This was VERY interesting .. sad … and she is an amazing amazing strong woman! Wow!
Excellent program. Chavie is so coherent. I was born into a secular Jewish home and lived in a completely secular Jewish community, so I was in my 30s before I studied Judaism and Hebrew in earnest; and in my 40s I did my master's thesis on Jewish themes. While I appreciate our history and grew up amidst Holocaust survivors and their children, the attitudes of religious men and women towards women in general offends me mightily. If I were Chavie, I don't think I'd be so forgiving.
Chavie has impressed me so much. I am a teacher in Virginia. I have taught history and Catholic Church history for over 30 years. I have left the Catholic Church because of some of the same reasons you have separated from your extremist Jewish experiences. I admire how knowledgeable about extremism vs. just Judaist extremism. I try to bring to my now public school students an open view of the world and your story will become part of my background knowledge when questions of religion do arise. I appreciate how delicate you were not to offend believers while asserting your truths. Thank you for your bravery.
Brave girl! Bad things are happening within every community regardless of religion, however, the more orthodox the community is the greater the level of abuse because no one questions anything and abusers are protected by members of that particular group. I'm always happy to see people freeing themselves from abusive environment.
You would think so. But the levels of sexual abuse aren't higher in these communities from the little research that has been done on the communities that protect sexual abusers. So, while I would say on a basic level knowing you will be shunned if you break ranks is abusive in and of itself, it doesn't seem to lead to higher levels of what we think of as abuse in other contexts.
A bit off topic here but I want to say Chavie has an infectious smile, crystal clear voice and a lively personality which makes this video a pleasure to watch!
Andrew you do a wonderful job.I ve already watched a few of your interviews with women who left the Ultra Orthodox Community.Your interview with Chavie was fantastic and I loved hearing about her experience with sex and her ex, her coming out as a lesbian, her being engaged now to marry a man ,and what she went through fighting custody for her children. An Amazing story. Andrew I was wondering if you ever saw a movie called Stranger Among us with Melanie Griffith.She plays a detective who goes to solve a murder in a Leibowitz Hasidic Community in Brooklyn New York and ends up falling in love with the head Rabbis son A great movie.Keep up with the great work Messianic Jew evangelist Roger Mansour
Her ex just raised ONE MILLION DOLLARS to try to get custody of a 16 year-old and two adults?? Who is his lawyer and what's going on with all this money?? I call financial shenanigans.
25:33 I’m with her 100% I wish people would stop policing you and your language, and just freely speak to your knowledge and not to focus on protecting the few.
My god, Chavie... I am in awe of you! You are so beautiful and so strong and so wise! And you have the most eardrum shattering smile. I love you for being... for surviving... for learning... I wish I could find 10% of the strength you exude within myself and I hope I can rise up with any hope at all for my future...
My heart breaks for the children who are so sheltered and unprepared to ever live outside of this community if they ever chose to. Keeps them corralled for sure.
Andrew, you bring to us such interesting people, they have quite extraordinary experiences, I would like to thank them all, for having the courage to share their stories. A big thank you Andrew..
I applaud her manner in telling a balance experience and not playing the victim. It made the story more palatable not making it “me against them” . she gave credit where credits were due and showed understanding of other people perception of her choices. She comes across mature and at peace with who she is.
So if someone was abused and is a victim and doesn't see anything good in the abusive, oppressive system and their abuser then their story is not "palatable"? Meaning you expect people to be nice and be the bigger person just so they would have the right to speak up and be believed. Do you think her old community affords her the same courtesy? They literally oppressed, r.ped her and took away her children.
She was raped, gaslit, her children taken, and totally abandoned by her community but you’re happy she was respectful towards the people who made her life a living hell? She would be playing victim if she showed anger and bitterness? Wow fuck you.
The whole custody thing..... I feel her so deeply. I've gone threw this for years and years until the point that I couldn't do it anymore. It was only one child with my ex. But I got re married and had 4 other children and the amount of money and the cops at our door constantly from my ex's lies and the health and welfare people at our door almost every week. I couldn't handle it anymore. I finally gave up. Family court system it's garbage absolutely freaking disgusting garbage.
I was raised in a bit of a cult. What women usually strugglewith is finances. We weren't raised to breadwinners. We have the children and no income. How did she support herself, fight in court with no support system, or finacial.background? Most woman are financially trapped.
I was raised modern orthodox and I was taught that a woman can never be forced to marry a man she doesn't want, and that within the marriage a man is not allowed to force himself on his wife, ever.
@Ruth Horowitz That is so true! The Gemorah is clear on that : this is what irks me of such podcast/videos : i understand they do that for the clicks and the shock factor but how about interviewing women and men whoa are happy as “ultra” Orthodox Jews whether Hasidic, Yeshivish,.: we are so many to be happy. But my theory is that it would not gain traction for these podcasts/videos which love to group us all in a “sect” of fundamentalist with such ongoing “atrocities “ chas v’shalom It’s so sad to promote such rhetoric IMO you want to be a good interviewer: show both sides of the coin : the people who leave orthodoxy and the people who are happy to live in it !
@@frumitup agree, I am no longer religious but I hate it when things are presented from only one pov. Yes, there are many very happy ultra orthodox jews, many are related to me. To each their own, live and let live. I believe her story. But it does not represent Judaism as a whole.
@@ruthhorowitz7625 you are 100% right ! I also believe her story but her story does not represent the majority of the life of my communities and her story does not represent at all my life as a yeshivish Jewish woman!! Not even close BH! I wish they would show both sides
21 minutes in and I feel the need to comment. With my utmost respect to her and her experience, I do feel the need to say that this is not true across the board. I for one grew up and lived all of my life in Hasidic Brooklyn (Williamsburg) as part of the Satmar sect. None of this is true for me, nor has it been for any of my friends and family. Sending so much love and healing ❤️
I agree I am hasidic as well. The hasidic system is very rigorous and obviously not made for everyone just like any extreme system even if its an amazing good system like ours is not meant for everyone. I am not surprised that many hasidic people are leaving the system and trying to find themselves a place either in the modern orthodox world or outside of the orthodox jewish world.
At 3:22 no, nobody's thoughts are "better" than yours particularly on this topic. You lived it. Thank you so much for sharing! You have a ton of love and support!
It is puzzling to me how to prevent forced abortion (ie. scientology) and forced birthing (ie. hasidism) in our relationships controlled by the cult leaders. Extreme points of view like these scare me. Survivors seem to have one thing in common and that is that they wouldn't wish this on their own worst enemies. Custody is about power not about the children, they are property of the male parent, a captive audience of the cult leader.
There is no forced birthing in chassidish. If a woman doesn't want to have kids she is allowed to use birth control. If she is mentally or physically incapable of having or raising more kids she can use birth control.
I was in a terrible cult / sect back when i was in my early 20s. It was terribly abusive. I then became a Christian and went to pentecostal churches for around 15 years. I was still very unwell from my early sect experiemce. I was not getting well being around the pentecostal church system. I left the church system all together but kept my faith. I still struggle. A lot! My daughter who was raised as a Christian but has now left to become orthodox Jew. But this Extreme Orthodox Hasidic version..the one where the man from Brooklyn who has since passed away was and is venerated. It just seems to continue genetically
I was not Jewish but got together with a man who was. We had two children together. I have never in my life felt so controlled from him to his father. I was not brought up like that and fought back to get my identity back. Christmas just gone he was trying to tell me what to do but I just tell him to get lost I am happily married but we sometimes cross paths for the sake of our granddaughter. Know woman has to put up with this treatment and this lady is very brave total respect. And being British I did not lose custody of my children even though his father was wealthy.
I plan on super chatting what does she think about Chabad rabbi, Yossi Jacobson becoming somewhat of a celebrity in Monsey , definitely within yeshivish community and even making crossroads into satmar and to kiryas Yoel? Would she ever go to a Chabad Purim event for example, maybe as a social thing w friends lol
Have you had this kind of experience with religion?
No I just hate it
Great interview Andrew.
She sounds so familiar! I worked with Jewish people in New York in both Brooklyn and Queens-as a non Jewish person my experience was that in any of the Hasidic businesses the men specifically would not even look at me they would call a woman who would get rid of me as quickly as possible- guess I was not modest enough
Let's stop calling them ultra-Orthodox Jews. They are not ultra-Orthodox Jews. They are heretics that rejected the Tradition of the Judges and the Prophets and took up a new religion in Babylon. It is their heretical interpretation of Mashiach that laid the basis for the Xian abomination.
God is a lie the truth is in the the oldest text in the world. Sumerian text! religion is man made to divide the people .
I know exactly what you mean about the magical time with just you and your children. When my abusive husband left, it was me and my 4 children! I parented the way I wanted! I cooked what I wanted, our schedule was for us! I went back to nursing school. I wasn’t scared anymore. I wasn’t being watched with an angry and critical gaze. I was enough for my children. It was my most productive time in my whole life! It was wonderful.
I'm so happy for you and your children that you got free of the abusive ex!
That sounds too perfect, because I believe a family ideally whether Gay or straight should have two parents, but that's always not the case. So should a single person raising a family feel complete on their own? My mother did it all by her self with 5 kids but we never felt complete despite her personal family successes. If it took 2 to make it then it should take 2 to raise them. But that's my opinion.
I have worked with women in prison for killing their abusers in clear circumstances of self defense. Many of them said they felt safer in prison than with their violent controlling husbands.
This terror is how so many women & children live with the man in the home.
I’m now on my own after 33 years of marriage. Just being able to set the thermostat the way I want is the best. He didn’t consider me. So now listening to your story my story isn’t on the same level. I send my love to you.
Boy you had it rough, go girl with that thermostat
@@ashthebash66 to be honest, it wasn’t just the thermostat. But that was easiest to put it in here in the comments.
Good for you. Everyone should live on their own for a bit, just to know they can do it on their own. And explore their own likes and dislikes. And learn to stand up on their own. And not be someone else's doormat. I hope you find everything you want in life.
Bless you. Enjoy your life. ❤
❤
I'm at the procreation part and the FLDS popped into my head, Andrew. She is so open and honest. Love this lady
yes the different hasidic groups are quite like the family groups of the FLDS
First thing I started thinkabout Flds
Actually nothing like it but umm ok. You obviously don't know anything about it. No one forces anything and yes many if not most women control the number of children they have with birth control.
Rochelle. You seem to be one who is brain washed. Do you need help?
@@gothicyidyeah I’m sure all the women being raped in the Kingston clan have control over how many forced pregnancies they endure.
You don’t live in every single seperate extremist FLDS cult group, many are truly HORRIBLE and the women have no say in what happens to them and can’t leave
Off the drech is such a definition of "us". Pressuring us not to leave because we will loose our children is emotional terrorism. I lost a small child and it almost killed me. He was taken to Israel and I could not get him back. Thank God , you got custody of your children back.
What an outrage!
I am so sorry you experienced such a horrific injustice!
My heart goes out you ~ I hope one day you can be reunited with your child
This is not Gods love.
My heart breaks for you.
I gotta say I'm shocked that people could lose their children over this. Shocked.
Also, I call BS to ppl who don't support their kids just because they have different beliefs. You can still absolutely love and support your child even IF you have different personal beliefs.
Do you "out" your friends over different beliefs? To do this to your own children is deeply upsetting to me.
Ive heard ppl saying they're doing the more loving thing. I call BS.
My heart goes out to her. I know this would definitely be the very worst pain imaginable. Best to her. She's adorable.
This is why Hasidism is absolutely a cult.
Michelle,
I concur with your sentiment 100%
Australia.
@@nartarlyiatremaynne1239 cheers. :)
You can’t say anything or you are antisemitic
@@marisa941 Exactly. It's the #1 gaslight. Look at Palestine. Complete genocide, that's gone on for decades, and no one can say a thing....or else... "You're anti semitic!".
I am Catholic and was a nun for 12 years. When I decided to leave Religious life my family welcomed me with open arms. I met my husband 3 years after I left and have been married almost 48 years. I thank God that my family was always with me. I am so sorry for all you have been through. By the way, my husband is not Catholic and that was also quite alright with my family.
Wonderful! My Irish Catholic born great grandmother married my Church of Scotland grandfather in 1885. Both families accepted and loved them.
That is so cool, we have phases in our life.
Was he Jewish? Did you go liberal?
How did you get out after 12yrs? I can't imagine they would be happy.
@@2Ryled I received a Dispensation of my vowels from Rome. I met my husband 3 years later. We married in 1974 and have 2 children & 5 grandchildren. My husband was an MD and practiced for 60 years. He is 90 and I am almost 83.
Bill is very ill and is in a nursing home. It is called Horsham Center for Jewish Life .” I use to visit my dear friend’s mom here. I wanted my husband to come here since I always loved this nursing home.
I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood and am still friends with some of my neighbors.
When I got married at the reception my Jewish neighbors crowned my mom since I was the last to marry. My sister had been married for 4 years before me.
My son-in-law is Jewish. I would not of cared if my daughter converted or if my grandkids were reused Jewish.
Both Carolyn & Mike are not religious at all. That is ok also. We raised our kids to make their own decisions.
God love you. You are a good person.
Chavie is classy. I have seen and semi experienced some of this . I admire her strength, courage, and generosity of spirt. Thanks so much Andrew! God Bless you ,both.
She’s a powerhouse, and a delight. Appreciate the authentic empathy shown by you, Andrew.
Chavie is such a healing speaker. It would be wonderful for her to host a podcast. She is an eloquent respectful teacher.
I love how articulate and really pointed she was... it is true ...STOP trying NOT to offend the religious community and put the responsibility back on them!!! They shame the victims for telling their stories and ripping the veil to show what kind of atrocities (mental, physical and spiritual!) are going on. Sometimes you have to summon the courage and TRUE righteousness to advocate for these survivors.
We should also try to stop trying not to offend the Woke community …. Because you should see some horror stories of children who were made to Transition by the adults they trusted, only to REGRET it as they got older!!
Now they want to DETRANSITION, but it’s TOO LATE!! So much damage has been done!!
You are the perfect person to comment.....takes one to know one and birds of a feather....the essence is in your name and her story 'creative writing'. These stories are made up of whole cloth. Jaw dropping inaccuracies.....dont you have any self respect so as not to appear so pie in face naive being taken for such a ride!
@@michellelansky4490I didn’t realise you there with her 24/7 for her entire life from birth until finally being free! Tell us what really happened since you lived every second of her own life by her side like a conjoined twin
I remember when “atrocities” referred to gas chambers, later it was arranged marriage, and now misgendering.
@@zaiten7653 so you don't think arranged marriages, marital rape and misgendering and dehumanizing (and legalized persecution) of Trans people are atrocious things? Just because they are NOT on the scale of the Holocaust (yet) doesn't mean they're not atrocious. And if you ever studied HOW the Holocaust happened, you'd know how centuries of devaluing one group of people (and then later OTHER groups) allowed the "ultimate" step to occur. In short, your attitude repeated consistently, campaigned vociferously and promulgated violently via polemic and then public policy is what led to it. It didn't happen overnight and certainly not in a vacuum. The greatest atrocities are a summation of "smaller" atrocious actions. So grab your ipad, load Notability and start learning.. you have much to do.
Thank you Andrew for being such an excelsior interviewer! 💗 I learn something new from every person that you interview on your channel. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend.
Glad you enjoyed it! You too Sarah!
Yes. I was raised in a Pentecostal household. Grandfather, Aunt and a cousin were ministers. What a picnic. An yes I'm in therapy
I'd love to hear about that. I got involved in a cultish group after highschool. I was escaping a traumatic event that had happened. Undoing that bad theology has taken a lifetime.
My mom was raised Pentecostal. I've been struggling to understand my mom... maybe I need to look more into what that childhood is like. Thank you for your comment.
@@michellemooresings I've been watching Andrew, Arron Smith-Levin an a few of the other channels on exposing scientology. Its the same.
My father grew up in Pentacostal home too. He hated it. It messed him up. Magickal thinking was a big thing.
Did your family deviate from the simple gospel into some kind of weirdness? Trying to understand.
This was such a great interview! I appreciate the point about focusing on the vulnerable people instead of assuming people are attacking their religion or lineage. It’s got to be tough to walk that line as an interviewer, but you do that with compassion and respect💗
Yes! I have spoken out about what I consider to be a human rights violation and said that being a member of a religion that does said practice is no excuse. I have been accused of bigotry for saying so.
It isn't bigotry. A human rights violation is a human rights violation no matter how many generations of your ancestors did it.
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2/3rds of Chavie's children are far too old for the "father" to get "custody" of them. Moreover, he basically abandoned them initially. It's a very sick aspect of this sort of cultish sect that parents are forced to constantly fight for their kids, not because the cult parent wants them, but because the cult wants them.
Good point.
They were 5, 7, and 9 when she lost custody. They are 16, 18, and 20 now.
It's not about the children.. it's about destroying HER. In doing so, she could shine a light on what's going on in the community and name names. So the longer this goes on the more they can weaponize the children against her and create the imbalance to prove she's unfit. Money is power.. there's always a dark side to religion.. yet they'll play victim if this comes out.
The "fathers" trying to get custody is often untrue.These "fathers" are revved up by leaders in the chassidic sects and leaders of the communities who get enraged and aldo fear that a woman should go free and perhaps expose some parts of the communities that others will criticise.They blackmail mothers by threatening the kids will be taken away.Usually the community will have big money raising events to 'help the father' get the kids bc religion is above all.
Its happened in every ultra orthodox community.
Yes,it IS evil.
They are wonderful communities to grow up in if you toe the line,if you start thinking for yourself it becomes a prison.
Btw it's not just chassidic communities,the Ultra Orthodox Litvish communities are the same.
@@dianacryer hybrid u u i
Hey Andrew,
U have the best guests - I enjoyed this interview and would love to spend time with Chavie - she’s so interesting and very genuine
One of the best testimonies I have ever heard. So articulate and honest, thank you. It came up in my TH-cam recommended. I have equivalent experiences in other ways. I have struggled to see the positives about certain things. Feel so inspired now. It's a real gift to hear a positive take on having to find your own truth, aside from being defined by others.
What a strong woman she has become. I wouldn't want one second of what she's been through.
She is a sick jewish woman that unfortunately has lost her way in Judaism it no being strong it being weak being strong is being connected to God NOT I REPEAT NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM JUDAISM AND GOD IM GLAD THAT HE MARRIED AND MOVED ON.
@@Rochelle1986 you are wrong. God loves everybody. Faith is measured by love and dignity not by your comments stupid human. Stay away from dogma you will be next. HaShem is coming after you.
@@Rochelle1986 Oof, you seem awful.
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Please read the Gospel and tell me if you feel that this was a Cult? Jesus came to your people FIRST. He is your MESSIAH. Please do some research on this topic .
What has she 'been through'? Most tmof the narratives told are all whole cloth FALSE and creative......do you feel bad for what Harry Potter has 'been through'?
What a wonderful person.
Being so full of love when you went through so much pain is pretty amazing.
Yes, she's extraordinary. So full of love, and wisdom.
Thank you so much Fr! My mother was a shopper and hoarder and when both my parents died a year apart they left me a houseful of religious objects amongst other things. I'm down to 3 remaining boxes and these have been sitting there for nearly 2 years as I've been at a loss as to how I can dispose of them, especially when they also include objects from a house of prayer that doesn't have church approval here in Ireland. Please God now I will be able to finally rid myself of this burden. God bless you Fr 🙏🙏🙏
Ebay is your friend.
@@Woodman-Spare-that-tree selling blessed items is not allowed. I'd also be very wary of donating them to anyone who I didn't know to be a practicing Catholic for fear they'd fall into hands with evil intent.
I’m not Catholic but I collect religious objects from all different religions as I’m a history nerd and religious history is one of my favourite topics. I would love sooo much to own a genuine church pew from a 18th or 19th century church one day. But yeah, would you not even donate them to a history museum or a religious studies department of a university or even someone like me who is entirely non-religious in any way but collects these items for history purposes?
The one thing I can't shake in the custody story is that since Chavie was the one that was taking care of the family affairs in her marriage; I'm almost 100% sure that when their father had their custody, he "dumped" them on his new wife, who now had both her own and her step children to take care of.
That's usually what men do, even non religious ones.
I am orthodox Jewish woman living and thriving in the " cult" that Chavie describes. Chavie has been through alot and i feel sorry for her. Unlike her most of us are living very fullfiling happy free lives. We don't feel limited, nor squashed...
Our men are good to us , and don't force us in any way. The simplicity and Insulation allows for more family time, connection and living in the moment. Clarifying for those that feel " bad for us" or think we're living in harsh conditions.
Thank you
Thanks Kaily! Are you able to leave? Would the rest of the community look down on that?
If I'd feel held hostage I'd be able to. Would my family be sad. Yes perhaps...
But i wouldn't be tortured. My bro is not religious and we love him.
@@kailygutman6023 That's not the whole truth tho is it? Ever wondered why so many of ours are going off ....? And when they do,do you know the shame stigma and ostracization that so many families go through? Suddenly no one will marry the siblings,the parents are dying inside...its not as happy clappy as you pretend.Lying about our human,imperfect communities is not a kiddish hashem! We have serious issues and if we don't face them they only get worse.
Kaily love that you commented what you did❤
I thank you for your view. It is horrible to label women who thrive in a traditional marriage as weak and vulnerable. I am Christian, not fundamentalist, yet I am traditional, and I do not feel weak. I do feel sorry that she had a bad experience, but I think it is wrong to allow her feelings to judge others for their beliefs.
I love listening to this lady. Great interview!
A highly intelligent and articulate person with a self-awareness that few others are capable of attaining. I am uplifted by the beautiful humanity of this person.
Thank you for speaking up, I feel seen and represented.
Another amazing interview! I adore and admire how lovely she seems and so smart!! I really enjoyed listening to how she told her story!! ❤️
Excellent interview
Thank you
Wishing her & her kids healing
So heartbreaking what so many women endure 😢
Horrible custody rules. Scary! Such a brave woman 😘
My late husband became religious in Emunas Yisroel and we (I am a Hispanic Giyores) we're incredibly welcomed. People were actually refreshingly honest and open. When my husband passed away they took me in. They paid my bills, helped me with my newborn twins and truly loved me. I used to sit in shul next to your grandmother. Your father taught my husband at Ohr Somayach. When I was married we honored your father by including his name on our bentcher. When I became widowed, your mother consoled me as another widow can only console. I had such an incredible experience with this community. I'm so sad you had this experience. As someone who came from a very secular society, finding Judaism and specifically EY was life changing. Specifically, the loving and respectful relationship between your grandmother and grandfather. He wouldn't go anywhere without her. He was so respectful to her. I came from a world where men treated women like meat not like queens. It was so special to see. I thank your grandparents and parents for so much. You look just like your mother.
Wow!!
Well said! I can't even watch these people. The lies they tell are so painful to hear. If they wouldnt create such slander the absurdity would almost be funny. Why would they want to throw their entire families under the bus. Something is wrong with them....and the amount of creativity involved in creating such a narrative is Hollywood worthy.....or is that actually what theyre after....the 'Hollywood worthy'.
@@michellelansky4490 But is it Fair to dismiss her Experience though? Because her experience is one of many girls from stricter households who are of marrying age and who marry a man who is not of their choosing? Theirs was a loveless marriage void of passion ? As a woman , you yourself will know that it’s not easy to turn us on when the man is undesirable or when he is not skilled in the bedroom? It makes the act of
S E X very painful and traumatic….
Maybe if her first husband had taken more time to get to know her? To show her affection ? To develop a bond, before engaging in seksual Union?
Not easy to give yourself to a complete stranger , especially one who is not interested in helping you to open up?
@@michellelansky4490 I think YHWH created Adam and HAWA to be Soulmates AND Lovers together. Why do you think that Romantic novels, movies and stories are popular with people of all ages, especially the Female species?
I think when you have such a small community of people, like in Chavis case, there are not many options of eligible men that she would be attractive to, on both a physical or emotional level. The connection has to be Both.
But even if they weren’t matched, some EFFORT on his part would’ve been good.
Maybe these types of Communities tend to Focus more on the extra-biblical, Talmudic Laws, rather than simply on the Torah.
This is the very Reason your Messiah, YESHUA HA MASSIACH, was unpopular with the Jewish Pharisees of his time? Because he was trying to explain to them that they were going over and above what was necessary?
Yeshua ha MASSIACH was saying that we shouldn’t Take Away from the Torah Law, but equally so, we shouldn’t ADD ONTO it either. Talmudic rabbis tend to go full on with the minuscule details, and so they miss the bigger picture.
Do you know what a Messianic J ew is? Have you heard of a channel called “One for Israel”?
@@morticiagomez6166 so i didnt listen to the entire interview bec i saw where it was going right away. When you see so so so much outright falsehood involved in the story its difficult to give the personal experiences that go along with the story any respect or credibility. Could she have been involved with a family of dysfunction...yes i agree....but she paints in on everybody and drizzles if with total FALSEHOOD throughout....i think the biggest part is that she became lesbian and wasnt accepted so she became enraged and decided to throw EVERYBODY under the bus. The story she paints is just not realistic or in any way reflect huge majority AT ALL.
I am glad she got her kids back.
Good on Chavie for telling her story and helping others going through this! It takes a lot of courage
I love her. What an incredibly strong human and to have gone through all of this pain and still be so kind hearted and positive is incredible. What a gift to her children. I wish her all the best.
What a phenomenal interview, amazing guest, intelligent, well balanced and insightful. I wish her the best and thank you Andrew for bringing her to us 🤗
A lovely, together lady. So well done for travelling that tormented path to where you have gotten now. All the very best to you and your family :)
Thank you so much!
Wow! This is all I have right now...going to process this amazing interview! Thank you. This was both painful and fascinating. Bless you both and all of her children!
Glad you enjoyed it! Give it a re-watch to process :) I have another ex-hasidic called Julia Haart on soon.
20,18,16 are the children ls ages. The 20 y/o should be off the table.
The 18 y/o shouldn't be an issue passed graduation date. This is absurd
@@AndrewGold1 she's a good bull shitter. I watched her and it's 100 percent fake.
@@AndrewGold1 I presume this is Julia Haart of My Unorthodox Life? Whilst I’m not minimising her experience at all, it’s important to note that she was never a member of the Hasidic community. She was part of the larger orthodox community (perhaps yeshivish) but not the Hasidic community. The differences are vast.
@@AndrewGold1 Yes, your interview with Julia is also better than most. You are the best interviewer. You ask great questions and you let the guest answer them without interrupting or re-casting their answers. You are the perfect interview host.
**sidebar** Chavie could be a model. She has a beauty that is not of the conventional cookie-cutter style, but very unique, identifiable and magnetic. I couldn't tear my eyes away as she spoke. She also seems really humble, so this type of compliment would no doubt sit uncomfortably with her. If so, I apologize.
@ceebee2447 I totally agree with you. She's so beautiful and I can't stop watching and listening to her. She's facinating to look at and that's coming from a woman.
I think a part of her beauty is her obvious intelligence.
*blushing*
She's just beautiful. Her intelligence, strength and articulation are super attractive. As a bisexual woman, I think she's bloody gorgeous!
What an amazing woman! I could listen for several more hours of her telling her story, so well spoken and non judgmental, even though the trauma she gone true ❤ I really respect the way she talks about religion and don't judge others that partake in different religions but see the difference between a healthy relationship with a religion and extremism ♥️ I myself have never practiced any religion but I'm very fascinated in all religions as a interesting topic, but I have never lived in a religious home, even though my sons father is from the Muslim community and I'm born in Sweden so true that I'm living in a somewhat Christian religious country, but most Swedish people are not practicing Christianity, and our government and the church are separate so we do have completely religious freedom, that I personally really enjoy but I see that it also can be difficult for many people! It is a really complicated topic
Thank you Andrew for yet another great episode 🙏🏻
It's nice to hear your story and perspective from Sweden. Greetings from California.
Such an awesome interview- thank you to both of you for giving us an insight into what other people have experienced especially when they have had to live by religious beliefs whether good or bad for them- we can’t think everyone’s experiences of life are as we experience, and channels like yours opens our eyes and minds that we don’t all have similar lives 🥰👍🏻🇦🇺
She went from warm memories to it was intense and chaotic childhood. We love our parents no matter what.
Chabad is known as a more open minded chasdidic ultra orthodox community to the degree that some satmar don’t consider our butchered meat kosher. And would only eat it if they were dying of starvation. These rifts are slowly falling away the past twenty years or so.
I've often wondered if Rebbes from other sects, were jealous of Schneerson, hence the "taint"...as well as Chabad's more open attitudes to BT's. Any thoughts?
Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism- so true! Every religion that has a Fundamentalist branch has the same fears and bigotry, the same misogyny, the same power directed in negative ways towards the most vulnerable. The focus should absolutely be on shining light on the darkness and helping the victims! She is so strong- such an inspiration!❤
Just religion?? What about Atheism??
Ever heard of Fundamental/Militant Atheism?
Research it please!!!
You think the Atheists of China, North Korea and former Soviet Union are pro-Womens rights???? Huh huh huh!
Think Again, Dudette.
Ps. Are you pro-Abortion? You do realise this is baby sacrifice right?
@@morticiagomez6166 never heard of it. However. If they are organized, and they have their own form of a belief system regarding things spiritual, might that not be considered a type of religion? And if fundamentalist, it proves my point about fundamentalist thinking. I will check it out!
@@sharondowling8896 Ask yourself WHY western education does not focus on the ATROCITIES of Militant ATHEISM of the East? All we hear about day in and day out is the Far Right atrocities of the Nazi party and Hitler. Yes, they were BAD. But the FAR LEFT of Russia , China and North Korea killled and tortured 100 times MORE PEOPLE.
Why do they NOT teach us more about Far Left problems??
At the SAME TIME, they are pushing ATHEISTIC Ideologies in our Schools and Colleges- pushing their Pseudoscience BELIEFS on us about Big Bang Cosmic MIRACLES and Darwinian Evolution…..?
WHY?
It’s ALL a Big PUSH against YHWH, our Creator. It’s a SPIRITUAL WARFARE and they are using it against the children from a young age.
We are heading more and more towards Far Left ideologies and towards FUN DA MENTAL ATHEISM …. And many people are None the Wiser!
@@morticiagomez6166fundamental atheism does not even exist hahaha it’s a made up thing that Christians made up to make people scared of atheists
Thank you for representing us Chavie.
Having affairs at summer camp, getting engaged, going back to summer camp. This is the basic denial of reality that I have faced in childhood when forced to accept things I distrusted so my mind just told the story as if the event wasn’t happening, it was something else. I totally understand this form of thinking. It is difficult not to be able to trust anyone because your mind has been manipulated to not perceive the real world: and it takes sooo much time to unravel the real world from the acceptable story.
Right : is she a Lesbian or not ? I’m so confused
@@elishevarosenfed96there is nothing to be confused about she explained it ag the very start when he asked if she was a lesbian. Open your ears. She explained it very well
Having been born in Queens and raised in NY I enjoyed the familiarity of Chavie's accent. It soon occurred to me that being in an isolated community impedes one of the things that makes me love NY. I could bring a new friend home to meet with three close friends from school, and my friend would notice we each have a different accent, even if we grew up in the same borough. My Puerto Rican friend sounds different from my Jewish friend. They both sound different than my Italian friend, and I sound different from all of them. I love that. I was very lucky, and I'll be careful not to take it for granted. Chavie would have been prevented from becoming close to people that live a few blocks, a subway station, or a bus stop away if they had a different background. That's almost like growing up in a completely different NY altogether.
What a very deep but real needy chat. Amazing on the edge. Thank you!
This is putting me into despair and depression and I’m not even involved in this side of life. I can’t even continue to watch but my love and prayers go out to all in these kind of communities. Much much love to you.
She’s so strong and so irrepressible. I’m just amazed. 💜
Absolute truth. Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism is Fundamentalism whatever the religion, cult ........ on a really off note you have the most gorgeous hair......
Totally agree 👍🏼
I am so happy that she was able to get her children back. I know the pain and frustration of losing custody... She's a beautiful lady and I wish her all thee luck in the future.
Chavie, I am so glad that you were able to get out of that marriage & that sect & most importantly that you were able to get your children back.
I have added you to my intercessory prayer list, of which I pray over daily. May our Father in Heaven bless you abundantly more than you can possibly ask or think & keep you in His loving care 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
I am struck by her strength and wisdom. Hard won wisdom but she is so intelligent and very strong in her convictions. Inspirational.
what a good example of non-judgmental and empathic living Chavie is to her children. Despite all the pain and difficulties she has been through, instead of showing animosity she does not condemn these religious people. While at the same time helping others who have chosen their own way to distance themselves from a closed belief system.
Love this comment .
I was raised in a secular Jewish home so it wasn’t strict at all… thank goodness. I mean we had our bat mitzvahs but my parents were very easy going and let us do our own journeys. I couldn’t imagine every moment of my life being planned. This was VERY interesting .. sad … and she is an amazing amazing strong woman! Wow!
I too am so thankful I was raised in a normal Jewish family. My parents were also very easy going and loving.
Same here
Brave courageous woman.
To thine own self be true.
Rotorua, New Zealand 🇳🇿
Wow, Claire has so much wisdom and gentility! Wow, what an impressive woman! Thank you Andrew, for having her as a guest.
Who’s Claire?
Excellent program. Chavie is so coherent. I was born into a secular Jewish home and lived in a completely secular Jewish community, so I was in my 30s before I studied Judaism and Hebrew in earnest; and in my 40s I did my master's thesis on Jewish themes. While I appreciate our history and grew up amidst Holocaust survivors and their children, the attitudes of religious men and women towards women in general offends me mightily. If I were Chavie, I don't think I'd be so forgiving.
Check out Chabad
Chavie has impressed me so much. I am a teacher in Virginia. I have taught history and Catholic Church history for over 30 years. I have left the Catholic Church because of some of the same reasons you have separated from your extremist Jewish experiences. I admire how knowledgeable about extremism vs. just Judaist extremism. I try to bring to my now public school students an open view of the world and your story will become part of my background knowledge when questions of religion do arise. I appreciate how delicate you were not to offend believers while asserting your truths. Thank you for your bravery.
Brave girl! Bad things are happening within every community regardless of religion, however, the more orthodox the community is the greater the level of abuse because no one questions anything and abusers are protected by members of that particular group. I'm always happy to see people freeing themselves from abusive environment.
You would think so. But the levels of sexual abuse aren't higher in these communities from the little research that has been done on the communities that protect sexual abusers. So, while I would say on a basic level knowing you will be shunned if you break ranks is abusive in and of itself, it doesn't seem to lead to higher levels of what we think of as abuse in other contexts.
Incredibly fascinating interview! Much love from the beautiful Arkansas River Valley 💞
A bit off topic here but I want to say Chavie has an infectious smile, crystal clear voice and a lively personality which makes this video a pleasure to watch!
It was so great to listen to this. I was so impressed that Chavie spoke so well and without rancor--she has a pure heart, I think. God bless her.
Andrew you do a wonderful job.I ve already watched a few of your interviews with women who left the Ultra Orthodox Community.Your interview with Chavie was fantastic and I loved hearing about her experience with sex and her ex, her coming out as a lesbian, her being engaged now to marry a man ,and what she went through fighting custody for her children. An Amazing story. Andrew I was wondering if you ever saw a movie called Stranger Among us with Melanie Griffith.She plays a detective who goes to solve a murder in a Leibowitz Hasidic Community in Brooklyn New York and ends up falling in love with the head Rabbis son
A great movie.Keep up with the great work
Messianic Jew evangelist Roger Mansour
Never seen it but sounds interesting thanks roger !
WHAT a wonderful, strong woman. I wish her the most beautiful life in the future, she deserves it
What a beautiful and strong woman. I wish her nothing but love and joy for her future.
Thank you for another very interesting interview!
Thanks for listening
Her ex just raised ONE MILLION DOLLARS to try to get custody of a 16 year-old and two adults?? Who is his lawyer and what's going on with all this money?? I call financial shenanigans.
She is so honoring to her family , so good to see
25:33 I’m with her 100% I wish people would stop policing you and your language, and just freely speak to your knowledge and not to focus on protecting the few.
What a blessing that she was able to leave a constraining situation and then find love and be engaged again. 💕
What an incredibly brave woman, wishing her well for the future. Thanks for sharing.
Wonderful episode. Thoughtful and insightful, difficult subject delivered with such warmth from you both.
Many thanks
My god, Chavie... I am in awe of you! You are so beautiful and so strong and so wise! And you have the most eardrum shattering smile. I love you for being... for surviving... for learning... I wish I could find 10% of the strength you exude within myself and I hope I can rise up with any hope at all for my future...
My heart breaks for the children who are so sheltered and unprepared to ever live outside of this community if they ever chose to. Keeps them corralled for sure.
Andrew, you bring to us such interesting people, they have quite extraordinary experiences, I would like to thank them all, for having the courage to share their stories. A big thank you Andrew..
I applaud her manner in telling a balance experience and not playing the victim. It made the story more palatable not making it “me against them” . she gave credit where credits were due and showed understanding of other people perception of her choices. She comes across mature and at peace with who she is.
Absolutely.
So if someone was abused and is a victim and doesn't see anything good in the abusive, oppressive system and their abuser then their story is not "palatable"? Meaning you expect people to be nice and be the bigger person just so they would have the right to speak up and be believed. Do you think her old community affords her the same courtesy? They literally oppressed, r.ped her and took away her children.
She was raped, gaslit, her children taken, and totally abandoned by her community but you’re happy she was respectful towards the people who made her life a living hell?
She would be playing victim if she showed anger and bitterness? Wow fuck you.
Fascinating content. Very eye opening. Chavie is such a strong woman and a fantastic representative for her community
I love Chavie. She’s amazing and has such a great perspective about her life.
Beautiful interview ! Andrew keep on spreading the injustice of it all !!! Good work👏
Thank you! Will do!
Thank you for sharing this terrifically insightful and caring discussion….. a great modeling of love and compassion in action….💜🌻☮✝❤✝☮🌻💜
I like how she pointed out fundamentalism across the board of the different faiths as having similar themes and beliefs
The whole custody thing.....
I feel her so deeply.
I've gone threw this for years and years until the point that I couldn't do it anymore.
It was only one child with my ex.
But I got re married and had 4 other children and the amount of money and the cops at our door constantly from my ex's lies and the health and welfare people at our door almost every week. I couldn't handle it anymore. I finally gave up. Family court system it's garbage absolutely freaking disgusting garbage.
Wonderful interview! 👏🏻💗
What an\ wonderful interview. Chavie, you are strong and wonderful, I really enjoyed listening to you and learning about your experience. Keep going!
I was raised in a bit of a cult. What women usually strugglewith is finances. We weren't raised to breadwinners. We have the children and no income. How did she support herself, fight in court with no support system, or finacial.background? Most woman are financially trapped.
I was raised modern orthodox and I was taught that a woman can never be forced to marry a man she doesn't want, and that within the marriage a man is not allowed to force himself on his wife, ever.
That's pretty funny . Since we have more than adequate proof that in extreme fundamentalist cults , Jewish cults that is not the case AT ALL .
@@NotChefCook cults don't represent Judaism
@Ruth Horowitz That is so true! The Gemorah is clear on that : this is what irks me of such podcast/videos : i understand they do that for the clicks and the shock factor but how about interviewing women and men whoa are happy as “ultra” Orthodox Jews whether Hasidic, Yeshivish,.: we are so many to be happy. But my theory is that it would not gain traction for these podcasts/videos which love to group us all in a “sect” of fundamentalist with such ongoing “atrocities “ chas v’shalom
It’s so sad to promote such rhetoric
IMO you want to be a good interviewer: show both sides of the coin : the people who leave orthodoxy and the people who are happy to live in it !
@@frumitup agree, I am no longer religious but I hate it when things are presented from only one pov. Yes, there are many very happy ultra orthodox jews, many are related to me. To each their own, live and let live. I believe her story. But it does not represent Judaism as a whole.
@@ruthhorowitz7625 you are 100% right ! I also believe her story but her story does not represent the majority of the life of my communities and her story does not represent at all my life as a yeshivish Jewish woman!! Not even close BH!
I wish they would show both sides
This was a wonderful interview. Thank you so much. People really need to stand up to religion and what it does to people.
Nice people, both of you. I really enjoyed this conversation. So many people do so much talking without saying anything.
So sad when people suffer at the hands of conformity. I'm so glad to see she is speaking out and sharing her truths!
Yes, what asurprise to find out this group of nuts feels this way & are capable of this stuff.
So not different from Islamic or Indian culture. She would be in worse condition!
@@marisa941 Yes. All fundamentalist communities and cults are the same no matter what religion or philosophy they use to hide behind.
21 minutes in and I feel the need to comment. With my utmost respect to her and her experience, I do feel the need to say that this is not true across the board. I for one grew up and lived all of my life in Hasidic Brooklyn (Williamsburg) as part of the Satmar sect. None of this is true for me, nor has it been for any of my friends and family. Sending so much love and healing ❤️
I'm learning about the Hasidic. I am curious to learn more about the Satmar sect and fell in love with Pearl's interviews and insights into Judaism.
She already said that clearly
I agree I am hasidic as well. The hasidic system is very rigorous and obviously not made for everyone just like any extreme system even if its an amazing good system like ours is not meant for everyone. I am not surprised that many hasidic people are leaving the system and trying to find themselves a place either in the modern orthodox world or outside of the orthodox jewish world.
Are you male or female, if you don’t mind my asking?
He's a male, obviously
At 3:22 no, nobody's thoughts are "better" than yours particularly on this topic. You lived it. Thank you so much for sharing! You have a ton of love and support!
It is puzzling to me how to prevent forced abortion (ie. scientology) and forced birthing (ie. hasidism) in our relationships controlled by the cult leaders. Extreme points of view like these scare me. Survivors seem to have one thing in common and that is that they wouldn't wish this on their own worst enemies. Custody is about power not about the children, they are property of the male parent, a captive audience of the cult leader.
There is no forced birthing in chassidish. If a woman doesn't want to have kids she is allowed to use birth control. If she is mentally or physically incapable of having or raising more kids she can use birth control.
What an amazingly brave, beautiful and eloquent woman. Great interview
I was in a terrible cult / sect back when i was in my early 20s. It was terribly abusive. I then became a Christian and went to pentecostal churches for around 15 years. I was still very unwell from my early sect experiemce. I was not getting well being around the pentecostal church system. I left the church system all together but kept my faith. I still struggle. A lot!
My daughter who was raised as a Christian but has now left to become orthodox Jew.
But this Extreme Orthodox Hasidic version..the one where the man from Brooklyn who has since passed away was and is venerated.
It just seems to continue genetically
I was not Jewish but got together with a man who was. We had two children together. I have never in my life felt so controlled from him to his father. I was not brought up like that and fought back to get my identity back. Christmas just gone he was trying to tell me what to do but I just tell him to get lost I am happily married but we sometimes cross paths for the sake of our granddaughter. Know woman has to put up with this treatment and this lady is very brave total respect. And being British I did not lose custody of my children even though his father was wealthy.
Okay I absolutely love this woman
I plan on super chatting what does she think about Chabad rabbi, Yossi Jacobson becoming somewhat of a celebrity in Monsey , definitely within yeshivish community and even making crossroads into satmar and to kiryas Yoel? Would she ever go to a Chabad Purim event for example, maybe as a social thing w friends lol
More like this, please!!!
Thank you, Chavie. We need more of these stories ❤️
It's horrific indeed it's been dive years of going through hell I'm finally physically away from the community and recovering
I wish her all the best. What a journey.