How To Stop Feeling So Lost, Anxious, Stressed & Unhappy | Dr. Gabor Maté

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ม.ค. 2024
  • Check out the full interview I did with Dr. Gabor Maté: • Dr. Gabor Maté On Why ...
    ⚠ WELLNESS DISCLAIMER ⚠
    Please be advised; the topics related to mental health in my content are for informational, discussion, and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your current condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard from your favorite creator, on social media, or shared within content you’ve consumed.
    If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
    If you do not have a health professional who is able to assist you, use these resources to find help:
    Emergency Medical Services-911
    If the situation is potentially life-threatening, get immediate emergency assistance by calling 911, available 24 hours a day.
    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
    SAMHSA addiction and mental health treatment Referral Helpline, 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727) and www.samhsa.gov

ความคิดเห็น • 645

  • @dougbopst1
    @dougbopst1  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

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    • @leejganderson7827
      @leejganderson7827 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

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      1.22.2024..

    • @GabrielJames-ti3jf
      @GabrielJames-ti3jf 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why the micro edits? Untrustworthy channel.

    • @Ryan-xq3kl
      @Ryan-xq3kl 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      my parents broke all these rules and i just managed to survive with enough of my own money and not having killed myself in 7th grade. now that they can see i am not outwardly suicidal they have even less tried to fix their own issues and i am worried that i will bear their burden that i have noticed since middle school properly analyzed was gaslighted out of believing then and am relearning right now was totally correct. what the fuck am i supposed to do? why am i cursed with this life?

    • @eduardowosgrau4468
      @eduardowosgrau4468 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😅😅

  • @joyporcella81
    @joyporcella81 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +928

    When my real dad died in Vietnam I would see my mom fall to a deep depression and cry all the time and I would console her. I was my moms psychiatrist and put my close and play on music and sing and dance for her like a little clown. She would smile and sing along with me. I lost her to brain cancer and I took care of her untill the end. I love and miss her and when I die I cant wait to reconnect with both of them. I was an only child and always played alone and care for ppl. I love life and have alot of care for others and feel my best when I make someone not feel alone. Thank you Dr.and I will take this and share it with others.

    • @dachater1
      @dachater1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

      So beautiful- you sound like an incredible soul. thanks for sharing!

    • @sue-lou-star
      @sue-lou-star 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      🌹

    • @valoak928
      @valoak928 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      😘

    • @janetcorbin2642
      @janetcorbin2642 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Sounds very similiar to my daughter, an only child who has an alcoholic father. So happy to hear you have a good life, so does my daughter! ❤ ❤

    • @tammydietschweiler7852
      @tammydietschweiler7852 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      You are such a lovely person! ❤

  • @mariamarshall6116
    @mariamarshall6116 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +486

    Dr. Mate just drips compassion , even the tone of his voice is compassionate

    • @davids8127
      @davids8127 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      I'm working on mine too with Mindfulness and metta meditation. Your mental state has a big influence on the tone of your voice

    • @Pluralofvinylisvinyls
      @Pluralofvinylisvinyls 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Eww

    • @robynhope219
      @robynhope219 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You don't know him... he is acting!

    • @SueE17
      @SueE17 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Yes! I love him; and his sons

    • @Pluralofvinylisvinyls
      @Pluralofvinylisvinyls 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@SueE17 and his sons… what???

  • @Karlagarciamusic
    @Karlagarciamusic 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +334

    A person who teaches about something because they experience it themselves I think that is real teaching … thanks

    • @damianjones6546
      @damianjones6546 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I agree, the best mental health practitioner I have ever come across suffered with bipolar himself.

    • @claudiaschneider5744
      @claudiaschneider5744 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes indeed - I´ve found somebody who went almost through same kind of bs in personal life.

  • @AnnaAparicio
    @AnnaAparicio 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +229

    to hear him admit to having suicidal thoughts is both surprising and refreshing, and so helpful. For those of us who have been made to believe we are weird for not being like our parents or siblings, for those of us good, smart , creative people who have ended up sabotaging relationships, getting into dangerous relationships, underperforming academically, living materially mediocre lives, feeling alien, alone, lonely,... this helps

    • @phoenixlight1111
      @phoenixlight1111 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      You've said it perfectly and beautifully, these are exactly my feelings too. This helps me too, as well as your comment. Thank you. 💗

    • @elainehiggins713
      @elainehiggins713 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I think that almost everyone has had thoughts of suicide, if only fleeting ones. I may be wrong.

    • @nensi1972
      @nensi1972 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ...🙏🏻❤️

    • @MichaelYoung-xp5ko
      @MichaelYoung-xp5ko 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That's me 😮

    • @VaronPlateando
      @VaronPlateando 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I didn‘t find the issue with S.I. surprising at all. but he didn‘t end up dwelling only there. which came out good for many people, in his case.

  • @jamesbutler5908
    @jamesbutler5908 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +172

    We weren't born mad but driven mad😢

    • @hereshoping6992
      @hereshoping6992 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Niceeeee

    • @Vancouver_1986
      @Vancouver_1986 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Modern Society demands so much from us. It's 100% unrealistic.

    • @rustymugg9658
      @rustymugg9658 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😪💔💔💔

    • @kushysmoke3690
      @kushysmoke3690 หลายเดือนก่อน

      True true true

    • @Seforis-er2oc
      @Seforis-er2oc หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly, from the first moment. Even inside our mother we already are agitated because, if lucky, your dad is banging her. But this is nothing to what is waiting then, and to what is waiting now.

  • @1STBUCKLEY
    @1STBUCKLEY 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

    Deep down I think fear of abandonment is root of all my anxiety

    • @briserenity
      @briserenity 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same here but for some reason I push people away . 😢😮

    • @airbloomamplifiers
      @airbloomamplifiers 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I’ve never had long lasting romantic relationships for common reasons.
      I learned being alone is by far the best for me.
      It’s a great opportunity and the benefits should not be underestimated.
      Eat when you’re hungry.
      Sleep when you’re tired.
      Fully feel all feelings and allow them and even coax them out.
      We are not supposed to be happy all the time.
      We are never going to suffer emotionally for the last time until we die.
      It’s ok to cry or scream in rage.
      Allow it and it passes.

    • @Brissles
      @Brissles 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@briserenityexample?

    • @kelseyfowler7236
      @kelseyfowler7236 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      For me it was fear of rejection... Been in therapy for years and only recently uncovered this. Everything we've covered recently points back to fear of rejection, and it is crushing!

  • @airbloomamplifiers
    @airbloomamplifiers 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    When I was younger (71 now) I believed the only acceptable answer was suicide.
    I couldn’t come up with any reason not to stop living. I suffered from panic attacks around people and had no clue why. I thought it was payment for a karmic debt. I don’t believe in that now.
    Luckily I am pretty happy today. One of the reasons is understanding it is me only in this life, and I taught myself to be self sustaining when I fully realized it is only me always and especially on my death bed.

    • @americasariesson1862
      @americasariesson1862 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I think it’s karmic- I must’ve been a real bastard before - 55 now. How did you find that level of self sufficiency and connection?

    • @danielituarte4126
      @danielituarte4126 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Hi Dear,
      Can you share how you got rid of your panic attacks.
      Thanks Luis

  • @viperdawgg2652
    @viperdawgg2652 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +70

    Dr. Gabor is one of the most brilliant and compassionate people ever.

  • @wambuialice957
    @wambuialice957 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +85

    I most certainly have enough of these childhood triggers

  • @pietrot.8780
    @pietrot.8780 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    "Live your life that you can live with."

  • @hannw7
    @hannw7 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +152

    Dr. Gabor is such a blessing to society. I appreciate his views and writings so much. Thank you so much for asking about parenting.

    • @Sh0n0
      @Sh0n0 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Your welcome

    • @violetaddams1035
      @violetaddams1035 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I agree.

  • @rosalinkrieger3352
    @rosalinkrieger3352 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Many of us are anxious because we can't afford rent, are housing insecure and don't earn enough money. What makes it even worse, is that all of this suffering and inequality is orchestrated by greed and indifference. How can one not feel unhappy and hopeless?

    • @VenomRoadRacing
      @VenomRoadRacing หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because you are the only person who can possibly care enough about you to change that for you.
      The system is the system. The world is fucked.
      Its up to you if you want to be a victim or not.
      Start a side hustle. Business.... don't know how. Sit online and research it.
      Use the internet to help your situation. Not numb you.
      You've taken all this information and just gone.... nahhhh nah can't be these things.
      I'll repeat.
      The world is fucked.
      You need to look after YOU.
      Stop looking at all those in the same position as yourself. Start looking at those who pushed through and made it out.
      Stop expecting the world will just give everybody abundance.
      Most people are doing nothing beyond where you are at.
      This is much less competition to then deal with if you wish to elevate your situation.
      I feel ya. I was you 3 years ago.
      Accept the world is fucked.
      Enjoy your blip of existence we are lucky to have.
      Get on with it.
      All the best.

    • @studywithmaike
      @studywithmaike 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I don’t know. I have a similar issue and it manifested in my body … help lel

  • @pkp6791
    @pkp6791 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    1/ Recognize that you may have unhealed wounds.
    2/ Seek assistance from an excellent therapist. If one has an inability to self reflect and be totally honest with oneself about his/her own contribution to his/her own unhappiness, it is especially important to seek assistance from a good therapist. Do not rely on strangers to heal your unhealed wounds. Get help from a professional.
    3/ Your relationships with others will only be as healthy and consistent as YOU are within yourself. You owe it to yourself to heal your unhealed wounds and it is your responsibility to do so -- no one else's.
    4/ The more healed you are, the more peace will become important to you. You will not be willing to admit unhealed energies, toxicity, chaos and even abuse into your life. At that point, solitude may actually become preferable or even desirable.
    Good luck to those who are intent on healing and recognize the importance of it.
    Good luck to those are still in darkness of not even realizing that you may need to focus on some aspects of healing within yourself( we all do).

    • @ktkee7161
      @ktkee7161 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Not everyone can afford it and some professionals are crap.

    • @pkp6791
      @pkp6791 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ktkee7161 Do you.✌️Stay toxic!😘

    • @ktkee7161
      @ktkee7161 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@pkp6791 😂 oh the irony

    • @bluegreenworld333
      @bluegreenworld333 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Gabor woukd be more compassionate, he wouldn't say it like ' its no one else's responsibility' its a community thing, he'd be like listen to your younger self, hear it, and be kind to it. I'd recommend journalling to folk without therapists and listening to Gabor as regularly as needed.

    • @benwalton1039
      @benwalton1039 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Such a passive aggressive response after giving what seemed like sound advice.

  • @justmadeit2
    @justmadeit2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    He’s a good guy, compassionate. I wish he was my therapist

    • @robynhope219
      @robynhope219 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      O, pleeeez...

  • @rickyn4710
    @rickyn4710 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    Far out, i spent decades learning and practicing philosophy and psychology to deal with anxiety. Then randomly one day i said I give up, i surrender to God. I instantly cried like a baby, only stopping to randomly laugh between crying for like 20 minutes. No more anxiety. Miraculous. Wow, this God stuff is legit.

    • @mosestoliver4068
      @mosestoliver4068 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Amen!!!

    • @scorps192
      @scorps192 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Pumpy bums

    • @specimen532
      @specimen532 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's unfortunate that you found comfort in such an abhorrent entity as god.

    • @holyshiet787
      @holyshiet787 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You mean, you had catharsis

  • @Dienohmite
    @Dienohmite 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    Dr.Mate’s calm, connected, compassionate voice and thoughts are healing on its own.

  • @mitya6568
    @mitya6568 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    Lower your expectations in life and be happy at the moment

    • @SirusJolt
      @SirusJolt หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I like to say myself: "Lower your expectations to a more realistic way and live a happy life".

  • @CarmenRodriguez-ze2xg
    @CarmenRodriguez-ze2xg 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    There are many professionals who do not know how to treat, and can do a lot of damage. Every day I think more, that those who have gone through difficult life situations, are the ones who can best help others. I think that people who have not been through it cannot put themselves in the place, and do not know how to deal with trauma.

  • @lapecoraneradellafamiglia
    @lapecoraneradellafamiglia 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    Gabor Maté saved me from actually falling into misery. I was tilted by many losses I had to face last year and he helped me cultivating self-comprehension and self-compassion.

    • @nazarethforest8313
      @nazarethforest8313 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      'pecora nera della famiglia' wishing you pink dreams and blue skies...

    • @Job.Well.Done_01
      @Job.Well.Done_01 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I had several tremendous losses in 2022/23 myself and they almost accumulated to a point of me vanishing. I started completely over again. Everything.
      Best wishes to you. ❤

    • @user-qz7zx2sd4v
      @user-qz7zx2sd4v 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

  • @mariamanuelgouveia6351
    @mariamanuelgouveia6351 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    After having raised my children and having divorced a long time ago, the empty nest syndrom has broken my heart. Despite being happy in my job as a high school teacher, there's an emptyness that I can't overcome. My memories of childhood leads to believe that being abandoned has been my fear along my whole life. At this age 56 everything is so clear when I look back: anxiety, depression and obsessed with pleasing everyone.

    • @noklarok
      @noklarok 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      having an empty nest shows that you were a good mother, you did not let your fear of abandonment ruin your children's futures which is an option other mothers take to cling to their children. 56 is not too old to find new friends, hobbies or even a new partner.

    • @shelley7209
      @shelley7209 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I’m in the same boat! My only kid moved thousands of miles away and I haven’t been the same. I don’t know where the time went but I want it back so badly

    • @praktijkjoypowerelburgvand1104
      @praktijkjoypowerelburgvand1104 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    • @markbrey52
      @markbrey52 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You shouldn’t have divorced

    • @michellebenjamin4632
      @michellebenjamin4632 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Omg me too x I’m 56 and have empty nest x

  • @fefetwaits2645
    @fefetwaits2645 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    This is so valid, trauma informed practioners are still rare. So grateful for Gabor, makes me feel less isolated ❤

  • @elliehayes3704
    @elliehayes3704 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    After just coming home from a 4 night wild camping trip with my two young boys I felt proud to hear this. Very true false values of a toxic culture.

  • @mamaurku
    @mamaurku 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +68

    I live in an indigenous community in the Andes where the natural family environment Dr. Mate speaks of as if it were lost long ago still exists. I know because I live here and I see it every day. I wish Dr. Mate could spend time here and learn that his ideal family model is still alive and now available to modern people from other cultures who think it is dead.

    • @nensi1972
      @nensi1972 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ...❤

    • @karendalsadik7119
      @karendalsadik7119 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Great idea and thanks for sharing.

    • @mirandaandrea8215
      @mirandaandrea8215 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Your lucky to have that❤

    • @pnaratik9383
      @pnaratik9383 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I lived in Peru for 5 years, and travelled to the Andes many times, I was looking for something all those times, something that I felt was beyond ayahuasca retreats.. which kept eluding me but gave me that strange feeling of being on the right track.. I developed a cultural design project later on, I called it oriandina, I use traditional andean fabrics quite a lot.. my trauma and self worth issues keep blocking my progress but who knows.. I am still here trying and missing Peru.. un abrazo a la distancia

    • @MCE851
      @MCE851 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He's talking about the west 🙄 this family structure is extinct in the west, obviously it still exists in less developed nations

  • @sybilwagner6211
    @sybilwagner6211 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I wished my brother in law could have listened to your precious teachings in order to change his mind and not taking his life🙏😢Thank you for all your excellent work❤️

  • @nicolesabbagh7375
    @nicolesabbagh7375 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I like when he mentions that triggers are learning experiences; Times to find yourself. That’s good.

  • @KiwikimNZ
    @KiwikimNZ 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    My mum was very neglectful, but she was also an escapist, she would bury herself in a magazine or a book, you would ask
    Her something and she would never take her eyes off the book or look at you, you knew dam well she was t listening it was bloody annoying! She still does it today! It is the same as your parent on their phone I guess and the child not feeling like what they have to say is important and what you say is not acknowledged or validated. It was like I wasn’t there. Her books were more important than I was. That pretty shitty really. Parents give your kids your full attention, social media is definitely not more important than your child and their need to feel like they are being heard! They are with us for such a short time ! Make every second count! (Empty nesters lol)

  • @scatterbain1628
    @scatterbain1628 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    love the voice in your head being labelled "your stupid friend" such a great way to put it

  • @selmabodlli7071
    @selmabodlli7071 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    Gabor Maté as always you soothe my heart and make me feel relieved 🥺

  • @rahabredeemed1690
    @rahabredeemed1690 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    Healthy human connections, and connections to a higher purpose, spiritual with Holy Spirit at it's best 😊
    I also had to walk away from a relationship and friendships that were bringing me down, they were narcissistic people who have not awakened to their brokenness.
    Daily Bible reading, a good church and a part time job that are supportive. I have found contentment in this, I am in my early 40s.

    • @xodus8077
      @xodus8077 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Amen to that. The word of God is the way to truth, freedom and peace +

    • @bluegreenworld333
      @bluegreenworld333 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Structure and community us healing 🙏

  • @dawndid5972
    @dawndid5972 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Two extremely human gentlemen right here. It's ok to feel and not hide it.

    • @Sh0n0
      @Sh0n0 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No its not okay to show weakness, be a man.

  • @violetaddams1035
    @violetaddams1035 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Gabor Mate is beyond words brilliant. What he said about believing the world is against you because you experienced it - spot on. If you have ptsd please read and listen to him.

  • @BuckleyDiaz
    @BuckleyDiaz 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    When he said talk to your 7 years old self I just started crying . I haven't slept for days . I have depression / insomnia / anxiety . I have so many traumas from childhood , and most of all I am a 30 years ild and I have no job . And I can't afford therapy . I stay up at night till 6 am and I am at thr level my heart started to hurt . Panic attacks every night and day . I exercised . I meditated . I turned to gid . Nothing works for me . Each time at night I just wonder , with all these things that are happening to me , am I gonna be alive tomorrow or am I gonna be dead . If only life is not this hard .

    • @Arrasel
      @Arrasel 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Take medication
      I have generalized anxiety disorder and I sometimes take sleeping pills and benzo.
      Sometimes they are necessary.
      Better to take a pill than not sleep at all.

    • @kaoticmind09
      @kaoticmind09 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@ArraselAgreed. Try an ssri. I tried Lexapro and it changed my life. Time to heal now. But this took a weight off of my shoulder to help me focus.

    • @RD12349
      @RD12349 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Take one day one hour at a time. Live in present. Find higher power. We are not in complete control of our liives. Life is hard and unfair. You have to deal with the hand given to you and make the best of it. Things cut nothing remains the same. Miracles happen. Read about Santa lives Go to Catholic church and stare at the cross & alter & pray. God loves you. Jesus saves.

    • @markpowell6062
      @markpowell6062 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hear you there mate . I'm same as you . Deeply feel for you. Hang in there 🙏 x

    • @mbm3099
      @mbm3099 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Accept what happened did....not your fault....but continuing or changing is your choice.

  • @ksc2736
    @ksc2736 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    Learning from being triggered only works if the person who triggers you is mentally healthy and does not mean to hurt you

    • @LaymensLament
      @LaymensLament 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      you are still free to choose your response, if you cant thats why its a trigger. but thats why hes talking about ammunition. you are (in most cases, as an adult) not dependant on the other persons intet.

    • @bananaman17
      @bananaman17 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@LaymensLamenti really hope people take the time to read your response and not just agree with the other comment. it’s spot on.

    • @Antonocon
      @Antonocon 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@LaymensLamenthow do you get over all of your triggers? Won’t some have many more than others. Wouldn’t it depend on the amount of trauma you’ve gone through? Feels like it would only be a choice after you have dealt with the trigger. Do you mean your verbal response or physical? I thought it was not possible to completely get rid of the trauma we have over certain things. We can just acknowledge and accept some of it and not let it control our lives.

    • @rachelsmename6
      @rachelsmename6 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Antonoconone trigger at a time. It doesn’t have to be overnight. Something that helps is learning about how to use Internal Family Systems (IFS). Lots about that on TH-cam.

    • @JoeySkate24
      @JoeySkate24 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thats not true though is it? The point is that in every case you got triggered. Something happened within you.
      Another person would say "oh that stupid guy again will talk negatively about me whatever" and brush it off and move on with their day not caring about it.
      Yet youre getting triggered. That means something about you. Happening inside of you.
      I wish you well and to overcome your issues

  • @lauraselig4904
    @lauraselig4904 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    Love Gabor ❤ always has the best advice that I can directly relate to, and he has such a calming presence about him

  • @haonyoass9556
    @haonyoass9556 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I just discovered this guy yesterday and can’t believe how interesting and compassionate his insights are. I’m looking forward to learning more about his work.

  • @JIMKATSANIDIS
    @JIMKATSANIDIS 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    Great video! If you feel lost in life, you might feel unmotivated and uninterested in your hobbies. You might feel “like life is meaningless.” You might no longer recognize yourself. Creating healthy ways to manage intense emotions can help you cope better, and avoid risk of suicide. Some of the things you can do are: Acknowledge and accept how you’re feeling, Take compassionate care of yourself, Keep engaging in activities that make you feel good, Attend inspirational events, Seek out help from a therapist. Thank you for the inspiring video Doug and Dr. Gabor!🙌❤👍

    • @robynhope219
      @robynhope219 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He is not a licensed doctor. Just a shrewd and self interested businessman...selling books and selling himself.

    • @robynhope219
      @robynhope219 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Forget to mention: visit dr bessel van der kolk, worlds best trauma expert.

    • @JIMKATSANIDIS
      @JIMKATSANIDIS 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@robynhope219 Robyn, Gabor Maté is a Hungarian-Canadian licensed therapist-physician and author. He is internationally recognised for his expertise in addiction, trauma. Dr. Gabor is a well-respected clinician and is listed as a doctor in many sites.👋

    • @EugenieMacGillavry
      @EugenieMacGillavry 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​​​@@robynhope219 a licence proofs that we rembered what has been put in our heads. Knowledge is using our heads with or without licence. Wisdom is knowing where knowledge is useles when there is no Understanding and Compassion used. For those 2 skills , no licence requiered only a loving heart. 😊

    • @robynhope219
      @robynhope219 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@EugenieMacGillavry not convinced he has a loving ❤️

  • @hairstonwilliams2770
    @hairstonwilliams2770 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    I cried when i heard the way he explained the very first question.

    • @Thewolfshehowls
      @Thewolfshehowls 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's nice to know you're not alone right? Dannng keep making music and put it on your channel!

  • @tnt01
    @tnt01 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +76

    Yes, narcissists will drain your soul.

    • @tedwilson1477
      @tedwilson1477 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      only if you are unaware, if you are fully aware, they have no power.

    • @tnt01
      @tnt01 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@tedwilson1477 obviously.

    • @tedwilson1477
      @tedwilson1477 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@tnt01 not for the unaware, which is a lot of people.

    • @shirleyfrost9909
      @shirleyfrost9909 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      I never felt safe in my childhood home, only recently found that my mother was a malignant narcissist. Healing slowly now at 70.

    • @Paragon_Reason
      @Paragon_Reason 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      My mother. Selfish horrible narcissist. Like I don't want her to die, but I do look forward to the day that it's done, and I can finally have relief from her drama, and Indifference that's caused so much trauma

  • @jameswayton2340
    @jameswayton2340 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    My autism makes me
    Victim at age 32 of the same thing at age 6. It’s called: everything I want, is to much. Think it kinda explains why i got triggered when people told me I’m in a victim mindset because they did not know I had autism and it just never stops. And I was already punishing myself thinking I was not trying hard enough.

    • @nensi1972
      @nensi1972 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ...🙏🏻❤️

    • @motoboy6666
      @motoboy6666 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same here, i still somewhat cant get to terms with accepting myself in that i just cant preform or that i get exhausted so easily. So much shame and limitations in being this way, and its just hard to accept.

  • @susanmeadows627
    @susanmeadows627 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Wow! I told my neighbor today that I can't get out of my own way! I've never heard anyone else say that. That is exactly how I feel. I'm 65 and have had depression and anxiety since elementary school. I feel like at my age I should be able to handle this. I try to give myself a break, not beat myself up. Going through my boyfriend having stage 3 pancreatic cancer right now. He was diagnosed a year ago and he's just finished radiation after going through chemo. Omg chemo brain. He didn't ask for this but its taken its toll on an already fragile relationship.

    • @bluegreenworld333
      @bluegreenworld333 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's a hard place to be, I hope you find respite 🙏

  • @jessesebastiansamuel
    @jessesebastiansamuel 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    It’s unbelievable how screen is the only tool we have in our family to get our kids to eat and for us to have a bit of a breather. This requires some major changes in our own lives and address our own traumas. I’ve sensed for a long time that the more time our kids spend on the screen, the more they behave erratically in real life but I can’t convince my wife who says we have no other option.

  • @user-iy5pc3xo9k
    @user-iy5pc3xo9k 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Madd respect for this old guy

    • @Dtchmastrkilla7
      @Dtchmastrkilla7 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Not very respectful to call him an old guy

  • @phoenixlight1111
    @phoenixlight1111 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    I very, very, very much needed this today. It's been really fascinating to me that over the past few days, the videos I've needed to listen to have been coming into my stream for some reason, guided I'm sure. I've been struggling intensely, ready to check out. I went through intensive therapy (DBT, CBT) about 8 yrs ago...I thought I was 'fixed' and then as it seems to go, I feel like I take 3 steps back again, ultimately. I'm diagnosed with ComplexPTSD/Borderline Personality Disorder....it's been very difficult lately. I have been experiencing flashbacks, intense emotions, alone, lost, stuck, angry, overwhelmed, defective, a mess. I always feel so incredibly soothed and comforted when I hear Dr. Mate'.....it soothes me deep in my Soul. I needed to hear this today, and I'm grateful to be here listening. Thank you.

    • @jonathantrunz4482
      @jonathantrunz4482 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Currently reading “The body keeps the score”. Check it out. Best.

    • @Brissles
      @Brissles 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'll be your friend

  • @kaanaydemi.r
    @kaanaydemi.r 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Dr. Gabor Maté is a gem!

  • @timfinneran5047
    @timfinneran5047 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you for very interesting comments and discussion

  • @VenturaMargherita
    @VenturaMargherita 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I’m on my way to becoming a Somatic Experiencing practitioner and to hear Gabor Mate validating this training feels so good! I’m honored to help others heal their deep wounds.

  • @venturesomeactivist
    @venturesomeactivist 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I think this taught me a lot about how the language we use can hinder us from actually finding a solution to move forward in stead of perpetually victimizing and shaming ourselves. Objectively asking “why this is?” would allow a person to look outside of their suffering and have the presence of mind to actually analyze emotions and allow you to regain control over your life. When you’ve been raised in a volatile environment you tend to dwell on things and feel like you don’t have the ability to move forward because it is hard to express why things trigger you or even what triggers you until it happens and you don’t have to tools to process your emotions or regulate your thoughts. Great video! ❤

  • @bikepacker1367
    @bikepacker1367 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I wanted to be helped iam not going to give up . Thank you dr you have help me more than mental health doctor that are just putting me on more medication no more pills

  • @bobblebec12
    @bobblebec12 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Yay! I am normal! Just those words help!❤

  • @richoneplanet7561
    @richoneplanet7561 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    5:22 - great response - thank you for the perspective 👍🏻'I wonder why this is coming up?'

  • @joh.9531
    @joh.9531 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    Wonderful talk, wonderful man - great depth in bringing to the surface the benefit of looking into trauma deeply. Thank you

  • @smroog
    @smroog 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I would love to hear Dr. Mate's opinion on Peter Walker's book "Complex PTSD". After 70 years of dealing with what I have been told is Clinical Depression I found "Complex PTSD" the most informative and the best there is out there. Dr. Gabor is definitely on he right track. It is all about the first years of life. Do we feel safe and secure. Do we trust others. Basically my self esteem. Do I love me. Am I confident that I can handle life. or do I live in constant fear. Being alone with a person I do not believe is able to live life alone. Constant fear of who I really am. I have ordered Myth of Normal so maybe the answer is close.

  • @evadebruijn
    @evadebruijn 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Those first three years...
    I hear it still, so often, how one parent accuses the more attentive parent of "spoiling" their child, a baby, it truly breaks my heart how deeply ingrained this is, so far drifted off the natural instincts, see how a mother ape will always attent to her babies cries.
    ✌️

  • @GraceNow
    @GraceNow 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I need all the doctors he spoke of and him and a few others on staff for myself.
    My X wife dis not understand when I told her, the professionals need professionals..
    Never ever give up.
    I know I love u

  • @paulalane8638
    @paulalane8638 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So simple, yet so profound. .response to triggers! Imagine a world where we could respond without the pain, rage and defense! I believe it's possible. On my healing journey. I'm hard on myself as well because my alcoholic mom criticized me. I thought something wrongvwith me. My alcoholic husband triggers me. Thats a 60 year old voice!THANK YOU, DR. GABOR MATE!❤️☺️

  • @a.mary90
    @a.mary90 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    So blessed I never had a tv in my room ever growing up

  • @phoenixlight1111
    @phoenixlight1111 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Through my healing journey, there have been 2 people that have been the most profound teachers that have been deeply helpful to me, in addition to my clinical therapies. Eckhart Tolle, and Dr. Gabor Mate'. I know that if not for their guidance, wisdom. gentleness and teachings, I would not still be here today.

    • @Brissles
      @Brissles 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The Power of Now is at my bedside

  • @gr33neyes1000
    @gr33neyes1000 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you so much for this, in so many ways.

  • @linhquy2913
    @linhquy2913 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you so much for posting this and your important questions. I’m truly grateful I came across this video. Dr. Mate’s work is so critical and your questions are so honest and relatable. I really do thank you for this because I definitely needed to hear this. Finally, a video with actual answers! 👏👏👏

  • @meenabells9854
    @meenabells9854 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wow...thank you so much for this conversation. It's truly helpful.

  • @heartandsoul4520
    @heartandsoul4520 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This so loving and brilliant. Needed it. Thanks Doc.

  • @jontamlyn6375
    @jontamlyn6375 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Such a profoundly wonderful and insightful man. Thank you, Gabor.

  • @kabeverett
    @kabeverett 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Excellent!!! Thank you

  • @dbruce5760
    @dbruce5760 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Absolutely wonderful content! Thank you!

  • @TheEvilGrandmother
    @TheEvilGrandmother 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Mate is a treasure for this world!

  • @bserene6328
    @bserene6328 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thank you Dr. Gabor for another great enlightening video.

  • @yukia.animation
    @yukia.animation หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The weight of empathy and compassion from Dr.Gabor Mate's talk strikes me every time I listen... I'm a sensitive person, an animator, struggling with on and off depression since high school, and then bipolar disorder since my early 20s. The world has always been an extremely anxiety provoking place in my eyes. Out of pain and desperation, I sought ways to harm or even kill myself up until a few months ago when I became pregnant. At the same time I KNEW exactly how much I wanted to live, I wanted to live relatively peacefully. I want life. I don't want to kill myself - that was my last resort planned in face of unresolvable suffering. Dr.Mate's talk made me feel heard.

    • @tjvirginia1319
      @tjvirginia1319 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm so sorry for what you've gone through, but I am so thrilled to hear that you are holding tightly onto this desire to live. Have you ever thought of doing genetic testing to see what might be affecting your glutamate and gabba levels? Some people can produce gabba, but they have now discovered if they receptors aren't functioning properly they will still have all the symptoms such as bipolar, etc. there is an amazing company in Ephrata Pennsylvania called tree of life and they do genetic testing and help you on how to support your genetic variants that might be part of the cause. I love Emily with that company to do consulting with.

  • @mrbritesideoftheroad
    @mrbritesideoftheroad 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Thanks for Your insight and wisdom 🙏

  • @mariannehay4209
    @mariannehay4209 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I love your work so much! Thank you! ❤❤❤

  • @Buster-im5so
    @Buster-im5so 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    I would go to therapy with someone with this knowledge. Years of therapy proved fruitless. I'm stuck in my room ignoring responsibilities. I live in Southwest Ohio if anyone can recommend good help.

    • @ah3738
      @ah3738 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I live in Australia so can't quite recommend anyone in Ohio 😛 however just wanting to acknowledge I know what you mean. I would love to have therapy with someone who really understands trauma etc. Gabor has some really good books you could look into reading. Borrow from a library? Books can be expensive for me. I too have found therapists I've been too simplistic and don't quite get it. Best wishes to you. 🙏

    • @sagotoni2154
      @sagotoni2154 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Try to stay positive and perhaps this video could be a step forward for you .

    • @laurenlauren4239
      @laurenlauren4239 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Have a look at he Crappy Childhood Fairy (Anna Runkle) here on TH-cam. She really understands the effects of childhood trauma (if that's the kind of trauma you're talking about - I'd say a lot of her insights could also be useful for other kinds). She has some free stuff, simple tools to manage the effects of trauma on your nervous system day by day and moment to moment, some online courses you can do to learn how to manage the effects of trauma in various areas of your life and loads of videos. She has helped a lot of people. After decades of therapy, I really wish someone had told me all this stuff when I started out. Maybe it wasn't properly understood then.
      I hope this or something else will be useful to you. You deserve a better quality of life
      Warm wishes❤

    • @EricMcKearney
      @EricMcKearney 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Try to find someone trained in providing EMDR as this is a trauma informed and focused therapy

    • @JjBianca
      @JjBianca 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Try to embrace responsibility with open arms and I mean about you and your life. For example : I'll make my bed today, I'll clean a part of my house, I'll go somewhere even when I don't or it feels like I can't. At least try again and again. Running away from responsibilities is going to create more instability on the long run. And you don't want to spiral into a deeper darkness, believe me. I wish you the best! 🙏🏻

  • @tinaahl4597
    @tinaahl4597 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I had to listen to this a few times. There is so much healing in every word Dr.says. it is very difficult to find a good specialist in all medical departments. One needs $$$$. I went to the public library where I found some helpful work books❤

  • @christianmeza4529
    @christianmeza4529 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you Dr Gabor

  • @banjiegirl2001
    @banjiegirl2001 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I love his blue glasses❤

  • @jonnyh7936
    @jonnyh7936 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I listen to quite a lot if this type of content , regarding mental health etc, and Gabor really has something special for me. He makes sense in a good relatable way.

  • @roslyntchakedjian927
    @roslyntchakedjian927 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you Dr Gabor Mate 🙏

  • @hikkikei
    @hikkikei 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This 15 mins talk is life-changing to me. Thank you so much.

  • @Cori86
    @Cori86 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    We love you Gabor!

  • @dknox90803
    @dknox90803 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is so very helpful. I am crying listening to it.

  • @Millbie
    @Millbie 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Dr Gabor, i have & do watch you on TH-cam & probably like so many others I feel you are 'speaking' to me & so understanding. Each time is like a therapy session. You are amazing so knowledgeable & you are relatable because you've lived so much of it. I have recommended you to so many people. 🤗

  • @maricazermatten2103
    @maricazermatten2103 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dr Mate is wonderful, love listening to him!

  • @user-dt1vz4ce2w
    @user-dt1vz4ce2w 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I love Dr Mate ❤for ever 🙏❤️I am from Transilvania and I am watching him from long time ☺️✌️

  • @mirandaandrea8215
    @mirandaandrea8215 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Gabor Mate is such a gift! ❤

  • @thehillmanator
    @thehillmanator 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    i watch this video every morning for the past week, every day i take more from it ! this man’s life experience have given him the most amazing understanding of human function, every human on earth could learn from this amazing man, thank you for taking the time to interview and post on here 👌

  • @mariamanuelgouveia6351
    @mariamanuelgouveia6351 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It's so rewarding to listen from you and answering me is so important to me feeling loliness. You are a great human being besides your professional skills. I have no words to be so much grateful . ❤ Greetings from Portugal in the Algarve, once again from an EFL teacher of a high school. ❤❤❤

  • @Sky10811
    @Sky10811 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    it s so true, that base of anxiety is the trauma! i honestly do not understand while treatment does not start from addressing the trauma!

  • @user-de1fk2by5h
    @user-de1fk2by5h 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Dont call my "friend" " stupid"...😂😂😂😂
    ❤❤❤❤❤
    Thank you Dr.

  • @missboheme3466
    @missboheme3466 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Listing to your conversation is really helpful to me at the moment. Thank you!

  • @elainemorris4806
    @elainemorris4806 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is excellent information. Thanks for sharing.

  • @mikect05
    @mikect05 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love Gabor so much.
    I am grateful for his teachings.

  • @gabrielepini7703
    @gabrielepini7703 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank You. This very coincise and poignant conversation says it all….it really shines a light on a topic.❤

  • @rachelsmith709
    @rachelsmith709 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Hi! New here. Just found this wonderful man. I'm afraid I'm too late. My kids are adults now and don't speak to us. We are broken 💔

    • @gingersnaps4194
      @gingersnaps4194 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ❤ I’m in the same boat, and too many people have no support for this type of pain. There’ll always be hope for reconnection; but meanwhile we need to manage our expectations and find joy in our lives separate and apart from that part of our lives - we all deserve to live and be happy. ❤

    • @rachelsmith709
      @rachelsmith709 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@gingersnaps4194 beautifully said! ❤️ Agree 💯

    • @Kinghassz
      @Kinghassz 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@rachelsmith709Maybe you or your partner were possibly abusive towards them?

  • @alyssalee1116
    @alyssalee1116 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gabor is AMAZING. Great interview!

  • @AL-sg2jd
    @AL-sg2jd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So beautiful. Seemed like a great girl by others reactions. May she rest in peace

  • @arianebennion
    @arianebennion 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Betrayal and childhood trauma set the stage for this last year of attempting suicide and trying to work with many different counselors, going to a psych ward, I was in waking nightmare. I started looking into traveling to a country to do assisted suicide.
    I had known about psilocybin and decided to microdose. It's been 6 weeks now of daily dosing. I'm finally functioning. I'm not suicidal now. I'm able to emotionally deal with life.
    I wish I did this in my 20s my life would be completely different.
    Psilocybin should be the first line of helping in emotional matters. It's literally moving mountains in my mind. I'm working hard in my life to bring about true happiness now.

  • @Antonocon
    @Antonocon 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I really needed to hear this right now. I fell through the universe yesterday evening when talking to someone I had felt was a friend. I was wrong.

  • @yellowjellybean121
    @yellowjellybean121 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    EMDR worked immediately for me. Highly recommend this

    • @mayasagra6503
      @mayasagra6503 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thank you for sharing this i will look into this ❤

    • @TrudysGal
      @TrudysGal 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you 🙏

    • @ailyvievie09
      @ailyvievie09 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What is that?

    • @Gain-Health
      @Gain-Health 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It’s hard to find … long wait lists in Canada
      We need trauma informed therapists
      Actually I’d like to be one … already have a health science degree … and I studied this stuff for myself .. cause it’s not out there in the Canadian healthcare system

    • @mindovermovement6401
      @mindovermovement6401 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Does emdr work for childhood trauma..

  • @deedee9312
    @deedee9312 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Dr. Gabor, this is such a game changer ! Hello young voice, goodbye now, I can handle this now! Love you 🥰 ❤ Tysm for all your teachings 😊

  • @kathy1001
    @kathy1001 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you!! So informative and useful...

  • @mariemonn8912
    @mariemonn8912 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Love his honesty.. and that’s How we heal.. lol..