Moving On From Someone You Never Dated | In Your Feelings, Ep. 11
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 เม.ย. 2020
- Books by Bianca ➝ www.shopc.at/moving-on-books
In this episode, Bianca breaks down 'almost relationships' and why these heartbreaks are just as significant as those of traditional relationships. By being honest with ourselves, we learn to reflect on what we were seeking in the relationship and why we settled. Ultimately, it was just another experience to understand what we're looking for in our future relationships.
"When you settle for an almost, you settle for an almost in every single aspect of what a relationship could be...or should be. You settle for almost happy. You settle for almost valued. You settle for almost chosen. But you deserve more than that.”" - Bianca Sparacino
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Reading all of these comments, and I'm so glad the words and the podcast episode is helping all of you to feel less alone in what you're going through. Just wanted to remind you that you're worthy of being chosen, and loved, and that you deserve the empathy and the effort you give to everyone around you. 💛
Thanks for helping me heal Bianca 😢
also thank you for helping me heal :) your voice is so soothing. so glad this podcast is finally getting the attention it deserves one year later. yt algorithm did something right!!
I don’t feel alone in this anymore... thank you so much for this video.
I cried so much throughout the whole duration of this episode, because is 100% true!!
How I wish to be free of this and move on....!
Ouch, this one hit very close to home. Thanks, fantastic advice.
Trying to get over someone you never dated, feels worse because this person lives inside this bobble and on a pedestal. The fantasy of them. You never got to know all their bad sides, so they are perfect. It’s hard getting over something that is perfect. Of course they aren’t perfect. But you never got to see that. All you have is the story in your head. The potential. You’re mourning what could have happened. Not really them.
I know you've heard stories about me
@@krakent8791 huh??
It’s much worse when you developed feelings for them even after seeing their bad side. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All through that you saw the good in them when no one else did. Just for them to toss you to the side and discard you like none of that mattered to them and neither did you. Utterly horrible feeling.
@@Yeodoongiiie Totally facing the same dilemma since 3 weeks after being ghosted by a girl I met online when it was going well and we both had good rapport and POOF!GHOSTED,GONE!
I am still not able to get over the emotional pain .It stings badly.
It is the worst feeling, I am going through that right now. He is my assistant, I like him before he became that. We spent a lot of time together every day. We get along so well. I really feel this deep connection between us. I confessed to him that I had feelings for him and he friend zoned me right away. I tried to be cool around him, but it hurt so bad. And I know that this is just a fantasy because I only see one side of him as mentioned in Emily’s post. I want to move on but it’s been very hard.
"You feel like in a way you broke your own heart" 😥
😭😭😭 this hit so hard!
We're here for you 🤗❤️
Agreed, we basically let ourselves down.
Well said Bryony👌👍
Yes! I think this is the worst realisation...
The worst part is nobody understands what you are going through and judge you for being too emotional and weak... that hurts more. Thanks for this, I really needed it!
Your feelings are valid, never forget that 💓 Thank you for listening and connecting with us. 🎧 Feel free to check out B's new episode premiering tomorrow titled "How To Protect Your Energy & Set Boundaries As An Empath" ☀️
Im so glad the episode found you. Look at all of these comments - you are not alone in what you've felt. And you are not weak, or emotional, for believing in what you felt for another person. 💛
Frrrr
I know I hide the fact that I'm hurting and upset from my situationship. I tired of being sad at night from this or that I have to act tough when I'm not but I do hate that I'm letting two situationship break my down and look at love as wrong but I'm tired of being hurt.
@@niqueachilds7223 literally me rn
Almost relationships are also known as 'situationships'. I no longer want to do this to myself. these have broken me in ways I didn't even imagine. Next time i fall i love, please Universe, let it be with someone who WANTS to be with me. and really BE with me.
This is the kind of love we're all manifesting 💛
Same girl same 💯
Same!! I don’t want anymore situationships !!
Sameeee!!!!!
What is crazy I only been in situationtions. I thought god sent me a real one after my nonrelationship relationship ended and broke me but I was wrong. I would like a real meaningful relationship but I think maybe it's me. And I don't go out looking for someone it just happens. I think I'm just unlovable or it's a game the universe playing on me.
One thing that I never wish for someone is to fall in love with someone you can't have... This hurts so bad 😭😭
It’s soo soo deep. I can’t wish this on my worst enemy
I am going through it right now, it is soooo painful
@@Dogsoo12373 exactly I can't also wish that to my worst enemy.. Its even so so hard to forget them
@@fahmimustaffa3743 cry about it if you have to buy as they say time will heal and it will become less painful
Don, thank you for listening and commenting 🎧🖤 We recommend checking out B's In Your Feelings episode titled "How To Tell The Difference Between Love & Attachment" - let us know what you think 🤗th-cam.com/video/OveBEy4gZgU/w-d-xo.html
Some people will stir up your emotions then left you high and dry
Sending light & love your way today ☀️ Stay strong, we are here for you 💛
TH-cam must be eavesdropping on my conversations lol...this conveniently showed up on my feed 😆
Thank you for listening and connecting with us 🤗💞Feel free to check out more episodes of In Your Feelings and let us know what you'd like to hear in future episodes 🎧We love hearing from our subscribers ❤️
Andrea, ikr?!
SAME!!
Okay. I’m glad I’m not the only one cuz this explains my exact situation and I didn’t realize that there would be a whole video on it.
Omg!! Me too! I hadn’t even mentioned it so they’re stalking me somewhere I’ve written it. 🧐
Had a girl I was dating for about 3 months. Our last 2 dates, She asked me to meet her parents, and then the next day she asked me to set up an outing with her, me, her best friend and MY best friends. Then for a week she went radio silence. I didn't freak out I just said "Okay I'm sure she's busy, and we saw a lot of each other last week."
Another week was going by, and I asked her if she wanted to meet up again. She suggested just coffee. Of course she broke it off, and all she could say was that her feelings changed and we were better as friends. It was only 3 months. It was only 12 or 13 dates or so, and a handful of text messages. But that was enough time and enough investment for me to care. And right at this 3 month mark, I had just started to let my guard down and really hope that this "thing" might be going somewhere. And then, it wasn't.
A month later she texted saying she had made plans with her gal pals (who were also mutual friends of ours) and asked me if I wanted to tag along.
Basically, she ended things with me out of the blue with very little explanation, but claimed she still valued our friendship. But when it came to friendship, she was only treating me like an afterthought, after making plans with the friends she really enjoyed.
After getting dumped, I said straight up, "I admit I'm sad, but I'm glad you were honest about how you were feeling." But after that, I gave up on her half-hearted attempts at niceness and the shallow friendship she basically seemed to be tossing me as a bone. Whenever she texted me something frivolous or asked me last minute to something, I politely said thanks but no thanks. It was hard, and I felt hurt and sad because I had truly truly liked this girl, and thought we had a great connection, but looking back, I'm glad I set up my own boundaries. I'm proud I didn't hang around her and hope for scraps of affection, romantic, friendship, or otherwise.
Sometimes, it really is that the other person is just all mixed up, and you can't let their confusion drag you down. Better to just let go of them forever. Build on friendships and romantic connections that actually have had the time to mature, and have depth, and develop real worth. Always remember, 3 months might be long enough to fall for someone, but it's not long enough to know or love someone. So if you didn't really know each other, and if you didn't really love each other, then give yourself permission to move on from this muddled connection that keeps causing you stress, and find people that are better for you. :)
Christopher, thank you for listening and sharing ☀️ Feel free to check out more episodes of the In Your Feelings podcast and let us know what topics you'd like to hear B talk about in future episodes 🎧🖤
Christopher, you sound like an incredibly mature and smart young man. I wish I could’ve been more like you during my last bout of unrequited love. 🤦🏻♀️
Dam thanks for sharing this. I’ve been both in your shoes and her shoes in the past. I’m glad I read this because it’s a good reminder not to waste anyone’s time if you don’t know what you want.
you wernt dumped - there are 4 principles of sttraction and you broke the 1st rule then the 2nd - then you killed it.
@@thededicatedguild7442 sure bro keep telling yourself that. I'm sure your dude bro pickup artist flow charts have given you the answers to life.
This is literally making me cry, lately Ive been feeling and asking the question "is there something wrong with me?" It's like men will like me or think im such a great/sweet girl but always choose someone else, or will commit but then we'll break up but they won't let me go, and let me move on with my life. And it's so frustrating. I've began to feel like i don't need to date at all right now because i sometimes feel like i don't love myself to my core, like having someone else love me also will complete me, and at this point it's just tiring. But this podcast just spoke to my soul thank you!
You should try the guided Meditation from Marisa Peer: I am lovable
Thank you so much for listening and sharing 🎧🖤We recommend B's In Your Feelings episode titled "The Truth About Rejection" - hopefully it can help bring you comfort and clarity along your healing journey ☀️🌻 th-cam.com/video/8wqraU6RP84/w-d-xo.html
It’s them not you
My experiences were similar. I took a break from dating. Figuring out what I like, what I enjoy, what makes me tick. I think I’ll be better prepared next time and I’m more me than I’ve ever been. I hope you found your peace in loving you. Your message touched my heart. God bless. 💫🧸
Dam it’s like your my twin😞😞😞going through the same thing. I decided to put my energy into my businesses and invest in myself
they weren't ready.. but they were ready for someone else weeks later.
Same :(
CC, YEAH I know exactly what you mean I was with a man for 15 years and he left me for some one else.It really broke my heart when I found out he married some one else while we were together.I will never understand how some people can be so cruel and cold at the drop of a hat.
Is that so? 🤔
You are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled “If You Have Forgotten This Is What You Deserve.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/1MpOi6pfej8/w-d-xo.html)
Ohh I felt this 💯
Not so much moving on.....just getting up, working then coming home to bed.....and constantly thinking about them. It's a drag. I hate it!
Healing is never easy, but you deserve all the beautiful things that come along with the journey ☀️ We recommend B's In Your Feelings episode titled "Promises To Make Yourself As You Enter A New Year" 💜 Let us know what you think 🎧- th-cam.com/video/NjvDA5fm08c/w-d-xo.html
The hardest part is continuing to have an open heart when it is barely getting by.
I'm 28 and never had a relationship, so imagine the pain described, repeatedly over like 13 years. then multiply it by 100. Yep... that's me.
I’m 30 and never been in a relationship.. I could relate.. you’re not alone..
@@samtula5946 thanks, good to know, Because most of the time I feel alone in the suffering. Sorry for your pain too 😭
Sending you so much love, Kerri. You are not alone, and I know that the right person is going to find you. 💛
@@biancasparacino2037 thank you! That’s a nice comment to read ☺️
I'm 26 and have never been in a relationship aswell. Please know you are not alone ❤
“Connection isn’t measured in time when your heart connects with someone it connects with someone” that line was beautiful I really needed to hear this especially because I’ve really been going through this
Loveee this moment ❤️thanks for listening & commenting, we love hearing from our subscribers 🤗
I think that was one of the hardest things to learn, but one of the most important. I'm glad this episode found you. 💛
its been almost 4 years 😭
it really hurts. He was perfect. The first mature guy I've talked to after many, many immature, and toxic individuals. I wanted a relationship and he didn't. I still value the friendship, but at the moment, I feel like I can't see him otherwise it'll just remind me of what could've been. Personally, I have a hard time letting go and I know it happened for a reason.. I just can't seem to shake it off. Feeling really, really heartbroken.
Kayla, you are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled “It's Okay To Outgrow Those Who Do Not Know How To Love You.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/Wl_RS1VNV_w/w-d-xo.html) Keep going, we are here for you 💛
we going through the exact same thing :( we can do it
I’m in the exact same position.. What hurts the most was that he was not ready to commit after telling me he wanted me. Though it was difficult, I had to do what’s best for me and that was to cut all ties.. That’s the only way I could move forward. I wish him nothing but the best. I’ll heal in time, I just have to take it day by day.
2:38 - "sometimes it can be harder to move on from an unknown than it can be to move on from somebody you actually dated". that's where I'm at right now. I spent part of last night crying and this is why.
It's the what if? what could have been? we didn't even try.
I always felt so stupid because I thought I was the only person that has ever gone through this. Now I don’t feel so stupid. Now I know this is more common than I thought and I feel for everyone who has gone through this. Thank you!
Chris, thank you for listening & connecting with us 🎧🖤 You are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled “If You Have Forgotten This Is What You Deserve.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/1MpOi6pfej8/w-d-xo.html)
The positive thing about moving on is the fact image having to finally enjoy doing your daily life without the heavy heavy weight of confusion, empty expectations, and fear about it falling apart.
That must feel amazing to be freed of those negative emotions. Can't wait for that day to come
Love hearing your positive perspective 😌💛 Thank you for sharing 🤗 Feel free to follow us on TikTok for more comforting words & inspirational messages ❣️ 📲 (www.tiktok.com/@thethoughtcatalog?lang=en)
It will happen, stay strong ☀️💛
It hurts so bad to realize that it was so different for him than it was for me. I loved wholeheartedly and yet it wasn’t enough. We connect on so many levels and such bonds don’t happen often, but to him it is not reason enough to pursue me because he feels like “it’s not meant to be”. I feel like I will never find the person who will reciprocate. Every story like that crashes my heart into billion little pieces
Sometimes we meet a person whose only purpose was to help us overcome some obstacle we had. Or perhaps they needed us to help them overcome an obstacle. People come into our lives for a reason, a season or hopefully a lifetime. The lifetime ones are usually family spouses or good friends. The reasons are to teach us something. The seasons are to help us through different situations. Yes they can be married and we are not, yes we can fall in love with them. Then without any reason they leave, once the Lesson or obstacle was was solved.
The saddest is when you feel it was so close to happen and suddenly you are just heartbroken and how can you love again when you didn’t even get to experience previous person who is still in your head. Actually if you were together for some time it would be easier to move on but you are left wondering.
We are here for you. Allow yourself to feel your feelings & trust that everything is going to be okay. Promise. 💓
Bianca nails it in this vid at 9:15 - "when you accept an almost-relationship, you're telling someone they aren't responsible for how the relationship emotionally impacts you. There are no boundaries. And if there are no labels the partner can just pick up and choose whatever they feel like doing in a relationship, there are no consequences for any actions."
Why is TH-cam calling me out like this? Going through this now 😭
Hahaha. Glad the episode found you 💛
I can’t express really in words how much I appreciated listening to this episode. It was like a 23 minutes audible hug. I feel so validated, affirmed and not crazy for how much of my heart l invested in my almost relationship. Thank you for your words of encouragement and not making me to feel judged or silly for doing what, in my heart, felt the most right at the time, despite my mind knowing the better of it. Sincerely, thank you so much.
Lais, thank you so much for listening and sharing 🤗❤️We are so glad to hear that you are connecting with the In Your Feelings podcast. If you are interested, you can subscribe to B's newsletter with podcast transcripts, book release updates and more! 🌻Here is the link: thoughtcatalog.us2.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=ce27c7f9ab856e12c6f2bf1da&id=908b754b78
This comment hit my heart. Im so, so glad this episode and my words helped in even the smallest way. Be kind to yourself, angel. 💛
@@biancasparacino2037 You said every word that I have been feeling. I broke things off with an almost relationship 10 months ago. So many unanswered questions and what if’s that have been the cause of my loss of sleep. This is exactly what I needed. It was an indeed an audible hug and I felt seen. 💜
All of what you said Lais has been my thoughts exactly. You’re not alone.
Moving on from someone that didn't love you is a different kind of sacrifice that is hard to do but needed.
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been...” (J. Whittier) 🥺
Yes and it might have been a shithouse situation that you were spared from. But we idolise the thought that this dream idea was the best.
@@woofbark4475 yes indeed! Logically, I know this... just need my feelings to get with the program
Sending you light & love! ☀️💛
Thank you, as an Infp and an empath, this keeps happening and I was getting to the stage of feeling humiliation for having emotions. Just because you didn't actually date the person, the loss hurts just as much, if not more, because you begin to question your own judgment. Someone can be perfect for you and still not want to take it further. That really kills me. Thank you for justifying the feeling of abandonment, it needs to be felt to try to move on. But as you said, the what ifs are what keep us stuck. I met my soulmate, but he won't open up. I have to try to move on. But it really does sting.
🌺
Karina, thank you so much for listening and connecting with us ❤️You are absolutely right that your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel them freely. We recommend B's podcast episode titled "It's Okay To Outgrow Those Who Do Not Know How To Love You" 🎧 Hopefully it can help you on your healing journey 🌻 (th-cam.com/video/Wl_RS1VNV_w/w-d-xo.html) Stay strong love!
@@thoughtcatalog thank you 💕
Hi love just so you know the same thing is happening to me, you are not alone. I am trying my best to move forward right now. And I'm also a fellow INFP. Lots of love and healing to you. We will get through this I feel it ❤
@@aimees4990 thank you 💕. Sending my best wishes to you for the future. Life can be challenging but we got through things before, I guess in time we will get through it again.
💓
I can relate to your pain Karina. I too am an empath, INFP and normally have a secure attachment style but this last relationship has floored me as it was my final attempt at a meaningful connection after so many false starts over my lifetime (I’m 62) I will resign myself to being alone now, as I have nothing left to give and won’t trust anyone again 🙁
I literally just balled my eyes out. Just full on tears streaming down my face. I needed this, thank you.
I'm so glad the episode helped, and that it found you when you needed it. Thank you for listening. 💛
I don’t know how I got here but I needed to hear it. Knowing I’m not the only person going through this helps
Thank you for being here & connecting with us 🎧🖤 We are so honored to be a part of your beautiful healing journey 🌻☀️ Keep going, we are here for you 💛 Feel free to check out more episodes of In Your Feelings & let us know what you’d like to hear about in future episodes. 💓
This was me also. I am now 70 years young.. met a 60 years old beautiful woman ..dated her for 4 months ..fell for her like a ton of bricks .she epitomised everything i wanted in a woman .i would take her out to eat and would take to do her everyday things .like shopping .cause she is legally blind in one eye .and can not drive any more .help her move furniture from her house .then she tells me she has no romantic feeling for me .just goodfriends and companingship .it devasted me .all i have been doing is crying like a woman.i wanted so badly for this relationship to suceede.i have gone thru alot in my life .so i know i have to grieve for awhile .but know i will be ok in time..i would have been her eyes ..it does hurt so much .even at 70
Damaso, thank you for listening and connecting with us 🎧 B has another episode titled "On Overthinking & Overloving" - feel free to check it out & let us know what you think! We're here for you 🖤 (th-cam.com/video/V41hsH90oFk/w-d-xo.html)
You sound like you have so much love to give, Damaso. A truly beautiful heart. I hope this episode helped in even the smallest way to remind you that you deserve the world. 💛
Heartbreak is heartbreak regardless of age. Wishing you well and hope you find someone who is truly worthy of you.🙏🏽
Heyyy!!! I know this was 3 years ago but I just want to know if you’re okay? I hope you can see this comment!!! It’s okay to cry it helps you heal! I’m going through something not really like that but at end of the day I feel played too. And I’m 24😂
Ok but has anyone else felt this for someone without wanting the commitment themselves? Like I have had these feelings about an “almost fling”
This . Just went thru it . Left me feeling stupid, like never "good enough", and so insecure. I do now know that it was just a connection in a gray zone and he was non committed. Almost chosen hurts more than flat out rejected. I broke my own heart for accepting this behavior for so long. And I agreed to it by letting it go on so long. Very upset w self and ashamed
Norma, you are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled “You Deserve To Forgive Yourself.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/3bpIN1uQFgI/w-d-xo.html)
There's so much logic and meaning in this video, but when you're in your feelings, it's hard to see otherwise.
ive been there! and why the other person has the audacity to not allow themselves to have the same feelings for you is beyond me! soulless people...
Sometimes we all need a wake up call. This was it for me. No more. From this point, I'm going to choose ME.
Loving this energy ✨✨✨ We are so honored to be a part of your beautiful healing journey 🌻☀️ Keep going, we are here for you 💛
Everyday feels like hell. It’s been a year and half and I haven’t moved on whilst he’s out here going on dates and shit. The same things we used to do. I feel like a fool but God knows best 🙏🏽 please lord heal me because I don’t know if I can do this any longer
Healing isn't easy, but just know that you are not alone 💛 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled "On Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You" - hopefully it can help you along your healing journey 🌻☀️th-cam.com/video/6wZ_cJfQ0qg/w-d-xo.html
Stop! Date other guys! Work on you selflove❤ I've been were you are. Now I wanna freeze my eggs because I've spent years for men who weren't interested😳
Same here
Same here. He’s been on dating apps and everything and even doing sexual things and here I am
I think we have to move ourself to a place where we don’t know this things are happening. No SoCal media off then, mutual friends, etc. that’s all I can think of
You nailed it. Going through this right now only knew her for a month. We talked as friends. I never had any intentions with her. But we met in person and things escalated quickly. I knew she was emotionally unavailable but I thought I could change her mind. I feel so hard it was unbelievable. Just when things felt so right she got scared and ran. The hardest thing is accepting the fact that I never got a fair shot and never will.
Casey, thank you for being here 🎧🖤We appreciate you for sharing, and would like to recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled "It's Okay To Outgrow Those Who Do Not Know How To Love You" - check it out & let us know what you think ☀️th-cam.com/video/Wl_RS1VNV_w/w-d-xo.html
Sending you so much love, Casey. I promise you are going to find someone who recognizes the value in what you have to offer. 💛
the way this resonated with me....
going through the same exact thing rn..
start liking people who like you
I’ve honestly been thinking about this comment alot lately it’s like the person you WANT isn’t necessarily the person you NEED and maybe I need to acknowledge the fact that I don’t really know what I need and what’s the best for me. Instead of going around in circles pining for someone who’s not going to love you back. Till I figure that out I’m just going to work on myself and be a better person
Yes! ---- who we need and who we want can be entirely different things.
A good book to read is "The Erotic Mind". Its also good to explore your attachment style.
If Im mutually, sexually attracted to someone I find that I become an anxious attacher -- a full-on 5 stage clinger 🤣---
But if Im not really sexually attracted to a person but more intellectually stimulated I can and have stayed in loving companionships for over 15 + years.
So now Im trying turn inward and examine exactly what you mentioned---what is it that I really WANT and what is it that I really NEED??
The question is can I ever reconcile the two? Or do we simply follow our childhood wounding patterns?
Another really beneficial thing I'm doing is watching videos on the benefits of staying single ---
listening to speakers on this side of the question is really enlightening.
Its helping me move past pathological loneliness and into a space of ultimate self - love ❤️🦋💥
It's a Short life and people usually show you who they are early on if you listen with your intuition. Emotional and romantic thinking can get you into trouble these days.
There are so many amazing things in life to see and do! We should partner first with ourselves in joy.
Like the speaker says in this video - If they say they cant commit walk away... never settle.. people usually don't change.
Lesson from and old Kenny Rodgers song "The Gambler"
You got to...
Know when to hold em
Know when to fold em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run
Good Luck on your Life Journey--- Protect your yourself, fall in love with you and keep an open heart 🙏🏻
@@lisaariottiart thank you so much!!
He seemed to. That was the point. (until he didn't)
Oooof. This comment. 💛
This was something I convinced myself wasnt happening to me, but it was and it did. We had been in this situationship for 7 months on and off. 1 of which he ghosted me for an entire month before reappearing in my life as if nothing happened.. and I let him. I knew I wasn’t really what he wanted but I loved the feeling he made me feel. The idea of us being in a relationship when he never even wanted that at all. I created this version of him in my own head that never even existed. That hurts but it’s the honest truth. I let him hurt me time and time again thinking we would be in a relationship even though this was breaking me emotionally, physically, and mentally. I’m finally ready though, to let him go. He let go of me a long time ago I just kept hanging on because of the bond and the attachment. I don’t think I want a relationship at this point in my life anymore. That hurt and pain is not worth feeling again. I have goals and aspirations that i’m pursuing and I don’t want to feel that strongly about a single person ever again.
Alyx, you are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled “If You Have Forgotten This Is What You Deserve.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/1MpOi6pfej8/w-d-xo.html)
Exactly the same thing with me. She appeared at a time I was going through a painful divorce, and I thought the world of her for standing by. Kept calling daily, she mirrored me so much it was like I was talking to my own self. Same ghosting, same acceptance, then offered to be my friend, I said no, I won't do friends, only soulmates, she continued and then suddenly threw in the towel 7 months later. I think she was a scam artist, expert at her job, and must be doing the same with someone else now. I feel sick at how I kept trying to be with her, though I felt often I should ask her to go. As the podcast says, it was a potential, not the real thing, and I kept deluding myself. Hope you never have such a sick person in your life again, but there are many such. I don't believe the solution is to change ourselves, but we are wiser after our experiences and less likely to fall for this again.
I’m glad there’s a label I can finally put on this feeling/situation.
This is one of the most profound and mature messages for people who have suffered in these situations.Thank you for your wisdom and incredible articulation of the dynamics that doesn’t feel trite, superior or judgmental.
Wow, thank you for your beautiful comment 🤗💜We love hearing from our subscribers 🎧
So bizarre, how this popped up just as I was agonising over 3 years of this exact thing and so close to Valentine's day, really sucks that 2 people in love, can't make it work because his ego is bigger than missing me. ♡
Im so, so glad the episode found you 💛
As guy, it happens to us too. I just found this and it’s been good to listen to. I’ve just lost an almost relationship.
Thank you for listening & connecting with us 🎧🖤 We are so honored to be a part of your healing journey 🌻☀️ Keep going, things will get better 💛
I’ve never cried so hard , when I listened to this
My heart ❤️ is hurting 💕🙏🏾thank you
Khristian, we are sending you virtual hugs ✨✨✨ Thank you for listening and sharing 🎧We're rooting for you as you embark on your healing journey ☀️💛
Wish I could hug you right now, but I'm so, so glad the episode found you. Thank you for listening 💛
It’s so sad. It reminds me of those lyrics, ‘I didn’t fall in alone.’
I finally admitted my feelings to him since his behavior suddenly changed on me with no explanation. I was moving away and just wanted to put everything out there so I’d have no regrets.
He said he didn’t feel the same. Now looking back I feel like I was kind of used- like a therapist? From those moments when he actually was vulnerable with me and I thought we were getting closer.
None of it makes any real sense. It feels like emotional hijacking.
literally same thing happened to me
the EXACT same thing happened to me, the immense pain I had to go through is unreal. still going through it but so happy that there are others with the same experience and know that we will get out through the other side.
You are not alone. I am in the same situation and sometimes I wonder if he is just using me as therapist as well. He has opened up to me in many ways, but never ask me for a date???
Nicole, you are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode that may help you. The title is “How To Protect Your Energy & Set Boundaries As An Empath.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/kgQDBrkPF1c/w-d-xo.html)
Thank you so much. ❤️ I needed this so badly. I cried while listening. 🥺🥺🥺
same, girl
I saw this comment and was like oh but then I started crying and was like OHHHH 😩😆😆
Me too. I needed the help, I hope u guys r feeling better
Hi @Jei. How did you get over something like this?
You are so strong and so loved 💕💕💕Thank you for being here!
my situation: I met this guy on tinder. I truly believe it was a sign that we met because we were at the same edm concert the night we matched. I didn’t see that he texted me till the next morning though. at the concert it was a really small venue too, so we were like 100 feet away from each other the whole night. (keep in mind i’ve never had something so this was my first real experience) after a few weeks of talking we met up. after that we met up about 4 more times. (he was about 50 minutes away) I would make the drive for him. even when I didn’t have my car, I paid for a lyft just to see him (he did once too). in the beginning of talking he kept telling me he wasn’t looking for a relationship and he kept reminding me of his baggage. I ended up staying because at the time I truly liked him and saw past that. even though he didn’t want a relationship, we acted like we were in one. he made me food whenever I stayed over. if he didn’t make food, he always ordered and paid. he made me breakfast once and told me he’s never made breakfast for anyone, not even his ex, and I felt special. I truly liked him because he was the first person who actually seemed interested in me. someone who started the conversations and gave compliments. I met all his friends and even his sister. someone who gave their 100%. after a month or so he started to distance himself from me. I even caught onto it because I confronted him about it and he admitted to it. that night I confronted him, we almost ended it but he told me he liked me too much to end things so we decided to keep trying and let whatever happen, happen. around a week or two later I drove up to attend his roommates birthday party and that weekend is when things ended. what made me sad is that, that weekend we were so good. then the last night I was there, some new people came over to hangout and he ended up talking to one of them and they gave him an “eye opening” moment. the eye opening moment was that he felt like he was using me to fill an empty void and he didn’t realize he was. he wanted to focus on himself. now trust me, I’m happy he’s choosing himself for once and wanting better for himself but I hate how it took that long for him to realize it. I hate how we told each other everything. things we have never told anyone. I do feel like he took advantage of the fact that I have never had something real before. I don’t regret anything but I wish I would have waited for “that person” to do things with. I hate that my first experience ended so badly. honestly I didn’t care for a relationship label, but I hated the label “friends” whenever I would ask him. I hated it because friends didn’t do what we did. friends didn’t kiss and cuddle. friends didn’t call every night and say they miss each other. I truly did see so much potential in us. we were different but we had similarities. our differences balanced us so well. we never argued and when we did disagree, we wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. I was planning on telling my family about him very soon if things had never ended. I feel like sometimes I don’t have the right to be sad or hurt because we never dated. I do know my feelings are valid but I feel like people expect me to move on fast. I cant though. I can’t because it was my first everything. I hate that I am holding on the possibility that he will come to the realization that he made a mistake and wants to try again. it hurts holding onto that because I do feel like he has moved on already. I know I am only hurting myself more but it’s hard to let go of something you saw so much potential in. I know for a fact that my family would’ve loved him. they would’ve gotten along so well and would have welcomed him with open arms. I know people say to not think about what it could’ve been but I do think about it. I think about it, because he wasn’t a bad person. he was genuinely a great and caring person. so of course I saw a future. I refuse to believe our story was supposed to end so soon and end like it ended. we agreed to start over as just friends but it hurts. i’m scared to see the day that he brings someone else over. although we did make a pinkie promise that he won’t talk to anyone new it still hurts because I feel like he will break that promise. now don’t think I am controlling. we made a promise because the reason he ended things was to focus on himself. I even told him that if he were to talk to someone new I would feel disrespected because why couldn’t you just continue things with me then? I hate that I question myself if I didn’t anything wrong. If I was enough. If I am deserving of love or what my worth is. It’s hard moving on and letting go especially when you saw so much. I don’t want to meet anyone new. I just want him. I hate going through the same process that I went through with him. I wish I was enough for him to stay. I hate that I fell so deep and can’t get out. I hate that when he ended things, a part of me has been missing. I have been in a slump ever since things ended. people keep telling me to not be friends because I will just hurt myself even more but I don’t want to let go. I don’t want him out of my life but I also feel like him out of my life will help. we were talking about being friends with benefits and honestly a part of me was leaning towards saying yes but only because it would mean that we would still have that physical and intimate connection, which sounds sad. I know it’s bad and that I am deserving and am more than that. but I can’t let go. some days I feel okay but then the waves of sadness come and go. I just feel so lonely now.
This felt like a huge relief. Omg
I'm so, so glad it found you. Thank you for listening 💛
Hi Bianca, this series is the best podcast I’ve ever heard of. I really really appreciate what you’ve bern sharing about, everything resonated with me on a deep level. This one in particular turned my view on my last relationship completely. I respect you so much.. Please keep making these content.. You’re making a big difference in people’s lives❤️
Thank you so much for being such a supportive and loving soul 💓We appreciate you and send lots of love your way! ✨
You are the sweetest. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad I can write through my experiences in a way that helps. Sending so much love your way. 💛
In love with a very close friend of mine who’s in a long term relationship. It’s just so brutal going thru this, the highs of spending time with him alone and the lows of seeing him and his partner involuntarily... you put it so well, “you’re breaking your own heart”
Thank you for listening and sharing with us 💓 We are here for you. B has another episode of In Your Feelings titled "It's Okay To Outgrow Those Who Do Not Know How To Love You" - feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🌻 (th-cam.com/video/Wl_RS1VNV_w/w-d-xo.html)
The best way to deal with that is to be respectful to his and his partner, it’s hard, but if he chose someone else, there’s your answer.
3 years, 2 therapist, and this is the first time I've felt sane. The first time I've felt like this was ok. I'm crying at work right now because I've needed this for so long. Thank you.
Not a "relationship" just slept together for nearly 2 years. He says he never led me on but that's not true
Do you need him back?
Stacie, you are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled “If You Have Forgotten This Is What You Deserve.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/1MpOi6pfej8/w-d-xo.html)
Same, like two years I confided and talked/text them all the time. And then she sends me a pic with somebody else and kept sending me videos with them. Just sucks because she knew how I felt and to push it in my face. Deeply hurt and sad it’s been two weeks seen I actually seen them and I’m like damn I don’t have anyone to talk to now
Wow. Funny how we hear this kind of information EXACTLY when we need to.
I'm so glad it found you when you needed it the most. Thank you for listening 💛
WOW. Thank you! I'm glad I found this video/your channel. I'm finally over the almost-relationship, it was masively hard and finally I changed the way I viewed my self-worth because it was all I had left to do- to go inward. I've never heard someone speak on the topic like this. Thank you! 💓
Wow! This spoke directly to what I’ve been dealing with, and I appreciate you addressing this today !!! God bless you
Oh my goodness this was so on point and on time for me. I truly felt like I was the only one who is in a situation where this person made it seem like we were gonna be something and so I started falling hard but then they started like not really caring and it makes you feel kinda worthless! So glad I found this video
We are so honored to be a part of your beautiful healing journey 🌻☀️ Keep going, we are here for you 💛 B has an episode titled “If You Have Forgotten This Is What You Deserve.” Feel free to check it out & let us know what you think 🎧💜 (th-cam.com/video/1MpOi6pfej8/w-d-xo.html)
Man on point is all I can say. I shed some tears. When you know what you have to offer and it seems like you always get the almost every time, it’s hurtful. I consistently pray that I don’t miss what and who he has for me.
Thank you for connecting with us and commenting 🎧🖤We recommend the In Your Feelings episode titled "If You Have Forgotten, This Is What You Deserve" ☀️th-cam.com/video/1MpOi6pfej8/w-d-xo.html
Am soo glad there is a name and a reason for what am going through with this heart break that some times I can call heart loving. I appreciate your tone of voice and calm energy, that am not just making it up, what I feel is normal and real. Thank you!!
sending so much love! this was so healing and beautiful, thank you
Once you say how long you were in the “almost relationship” situation, it changes the other person tone, advice and opinion.
Great points on how it doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship or not, you can still develop strong feelings and a special connection with someone
Love these points, thanks for sharing 🤗 We appreciate you!
Everything you said here hit home and went straight to my heart...got ghosted and blocked over 9 months ago...and it’s been nothing but torture ever since. It’s getting easier in time.
I loved what you said about having learned from that person being in our lives...I most definitely did and will forever be thankful for that...I also learned a lot about myself which is more important...❤️
Wow, we are so glad to hear that In Your Feelings is helping you on your healing journey ☀️🌻We recommend another episode from this podcast titled "It's Okay To Outgrow Those Who Do Not Know How To Love You" 🎧 Check it out & let us know what you think 💛 (th-cam.com/video/Wl_RS1VNV_w/w-d-xo.html)
Such beautiful perspective. I'm so glad the episode found you. Thank you so much for listening. 💛
this helped sm thank you I feel like whenever I tried to explain it to my friends they never really got it but you put how I was feeling into the perfect words so thank you !!
This is all i need to hear during this hard time of healing process. Thank you for sharing.
I literally blamed myself for being in an almost relationship. I told myself I broke my own heart. I'm the one who decided to leave cause I wanted more but I know that he doesn't want anything than just what we had. No commitment. Just feelings, and skinship. I was happy I ended things but I started missing him and when I texted him he turned cold and basically told my friends he doesn't want me around anymore. It broke my heart. I know that I deserved better. I know that we weren't compatible. I even knew that I only like the ideal relationship of us. But that hope of what we COULD of had was something I still held onto. This almost relationship hurt more than my 3 years relationship. I really appreciated this cause it resonated with me a lot and reassured me that I'll be fine. Still need time to heal.
Pader, thank you for listening and connecting with us 🎧🖤You deserve all of the beautiful things coming your way. ✨ We recommend another episode of In Your Feelings titled "You Deserve To Forgive Yourself" - check it out & let us know what you think 🤗(th-cam.com/video/3bpIN1uQFgI/w-d-xo.html)
Sending my ❤️
Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes it's important not to focus on how much we allowed ourselves to settle for or put up with, but instead, to celebrate the fact that we opened our eyes, and we stood up for our hearts. Take all the time you need to heal. This kind of healing is a journey, but you're going to be okay. 💛
I fell in love with my "almost" boyfriend when I was 14. I am currently 20 years old. He made me feel special in my life. He was the first person who I've ever had a special connection with besides someone from my family. We had plans to meet in person once we got older, not having an exact plan and wanting to be with each other. This video made me want to take the first step in moving on from the relationship. I'm going to work on myself and work on bettering myself for me. Not to make other people happy or try to please someone else, but doing something on my own. This video has inspired me to move forward and I can't express how grateful I am for having something that very accurately depicts how I feel in my heart... From the bottom of my heart thank you for making such a wonderful video.
I really, REALLY needed to hear this. Thank you, @BiancaSparacino ❤
This has to be one of the most impacting talks I've listened to in years. Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.
This is exactly what I'm going through right now. I know I'm breaking my own heart. It's so difficult to let that person go. Thank you for this. It give me the courage to make painful decisions that are better for me and my heart.
I'm so proud of you 💛
I knew from the start that it was going to hurt, after all our first phone call had me playing therapist and feeling like I had stayed up for two weeks straight after it ended. I even asked myself if I wanted to keep talking to her and my heart said “yes she needs your help” and even though something inside me was waving every red flag ever created, I still kept trying, only to be left feeling chewed up and spit out in the end.
No words can describe how thankful I am for what this video helped me realize!!
Nick, thank you for listening and sharing 🖤We're so glad this episode of In Your Feelings could help you heal and grow 🎧Feel free to check more episodes of In Your Feelings and let us know what topics you'd like to hear B talk about in future episodes ☀️
Thank you so much for making this video. I’m going through a really bad breakup with a girl who I thought I’d be able to be with forever but never ended up actually dating. My friends had been just telling me she was crazy but I know that’s not true. Thank you so much for helping me understand how I’m feeling and what happened.
This hit so hard. I cried when you said the dynamic makes you feel like you weren't enough for them because I definitely feel that. I liked that you also acknowledged that it's not silly and you really validated what it feels like to be in an almost relationship. I'ma just replay this everyday for the next month til I get over him lol.
Yes!!! Please produce more about "almost relationships"!
This just randomly showed up in my recommendations. I honestly needed this message.
I'm so, so glad it found you. Thank you for listening 💛
i’ve spent so much time this last few months with my heart feeling so invalidated. i needed this reminder that i should be gentle to myself during this healing process. thank you so much
Thank you so much for this. Your speaking tone and the compassion in your voice really created a safe space for me to let go of all my feeling I had been holding in and just cry and let it out. Thank you for validating our feelings around almost relationships.
TH-cam got super personal 😓 I met a girl on the weekend and it changed me. We have alot in common especially the fact that we are both artists and have a creative mindset. I can't stop thinking about her 24/7 ,I cuddle my pillows at night as if it's her, I don't think she feels the same way although we shared a kiss before she left. I can't tell her how I feel because, it's just too early and I've never been vulnerable around girls. Falling in love is an extreme sport you are always prone to being hurt.
Advice would be much appreciated
Mussa, thank you for listening & connecting with us 🎧🖤 You are so strong and so, so loved. Please never forget that 💞 We recommend another In Your Feelings episode titled "On Learning How Not To Apologize For Your Heart, Your Mental Health, And Your Healing" ☀️ Hope it helps. you in some way! (th-cam.com/video/1X4LumcK-jg/w-d-xo.html)
I've just found your channel, and I'm glad I did. You've said things I've needed to hear for a long time. Thank you.
Kristian, thank you so much for listening and connecting with us 🎧🖤 We love to see our community building and supporting one another in the comments 😊 You are not alone 💓 Hope you have a good day!
Wow this is really good! Thank you so much for this.
I’ve been watching the the past couple years, and honestly it helps me out so much. I tend to fall for people that don’t like me back a lot and coming back to this video always helps me!! ❤️❤️❤️
I wanted to thank you so much, you've helped me cry my ass out. The funny point is, I was the person that pushed the other way. I said no...but I felt a lot for him and while he took the no he also took what he could from me when I let him. It's been a year now, I dont even think I love him in a romantic relationship way but yesterday I realized how toxic it came to be for both of us, how much I expected from him and how much I gave him...it hurts like hell now. I feel stupid and I hate both myself and him. But thanks to your kind and beautiful words I can see now that it's ok to cry, to mourn and to learn and be better. So thank you so much
"You don't have to date someone to have feelings for someone " mhm..."don't feel silly with yourself for caring " even if it's with a player ....or a bad person...feelings are feelings, feelings won't lie to you, and they are meaningful
Omg this was much needed for me to hear this, this was an AMAZING video. Loved every second of it
This was so incredible thank you so much for this
I don’t how this randomly showed up in my newsfeed but I really needed to hear this. And yes please talk more about this.
I promise I am going to write more episode likes this. 💛
Me too
Same, I been forcing myself to see things realistically, yet my heart's like "no watch this video where it says he likes u" I'm like no girl, we need to get this shit back on the damn road stop fuckin us around
Jesus Christ you Described my almost relationship so well i had to stop what I was doing to listen
Mine too 😞🤦🏼♀️
Ahhh man TH-cam has been coming though for me so much lately! Upon clicking this video I was worried that It was just another video that I can’t relate too, that it wouldn’t speak exactly on how I’m feeling and how I’ve felt a lot overtime and what have broken me so many times but it did, it finally did I’ve not even completed it but I’m so so grateful for you, this completely changed my life, you have no idea what you did, I’ll remember this as long as I live. Thank you so so much ❤️🥺. And for everyone in the comments watching this, watch it everyday day to remember that it’s not your fault, that you are enough and you are beautiful inside and out no matter what the outside world thinks because you listen to your heart and that never lies, I wish you all the world! Because you simply deserve it🤍🤞🏾
Unfortunately I too fell for something like this , I have always been very proud of the fact that I dont fall for people easily , still something like this happened unexpectedly. I have never been in a one way street before except for a breakup once so it was very difficult to understand why I felt bad when I did not even have a relationship with that person and they were clear they did not want anything emotional. This video is the best one I have come across in the last 6 months since I have been looking at such content. It explains the why and what needs to be done . Really appreciate the content, it has driven home some facts that I knew and accepted but still it was not completely set it . Thanks again.
Thank you so much for this. It was so touching and I really needed to hear this.
Christian, thanks for listening and sharing 🤗 We love hearing from our subscribers! Feel free to check out more episodes of In Your Feelings & let us know what you’d like to hear about in future episodes. 💓
Oh God I really needed to hear this right now. Thank you so much for this.
Thanks for listening and sharing 🤗 We love hearing from our subscribers! Feel free to check out more episodes of In Your Feelings & let us know what you’d like to hear about in future episodes. 💓
Thank you for this episode. I've been torturing myself trying to process my emotions from one of these almost relationships. It's been particularly hard because I'm constantly surrounded by triggers that remind me of her.
This helped me/my heart immensely!! I just found you, Thankyou so much, please more would be greatly appreciated 🙏❤
“Lay that love down.” Will stay in my head forever .
Thank you for listening & connecting with us 🎧🖤 We are so honored to be a part of your healing journey 🌻☀️ Keep going, we are here for you 💛
Thank you. This is the exact situation I've been in for more years than I care to reveal because it's too embarrassing. This is the first critique I've ever heard on the subject (never heard of this subject before, but it is so real) Thank you again ❤❤👌👍🙋
William, thanks for listening and sharing 🤗 We love hearing from our subscribers! Feel free to check out more episodes of In Your Feelings & let us know what you’d like to hear about in future episodes. 💓
I really really needed to hear this😭😭😭 Thank you so much!!❤️
This had me crying hard. But it was a good cry, much needed. Thank you
Honestly I feel very dumb for feeling like this. Especially since a part of me think I lost someone who was everything I wanted. But at the end of the day he’s the one that lost. And I’m trying to remind myself that it takes time to heal and move forward. I just hate it here
Hey, are you okay now? How do you feel about him now? I’m going through right now 😭😭
Oh...this hit so hard! Thank you!
Adena, thank * you * for listening and sharing 🤗 We love hearing from our subscribers! Feel free to check out more episodes of In Your Feelings & let us know what you’d like to hear about in future episodes. 💓
Literally cannot say enough good things about this. It's like you made this just for me, and it was really helpful, so, thank you.
Thank you Bianca for this. It made my day!! I really appreciate you and I send my love❤