They Want Space But They Keep Reaching Out
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- They Want Space, But Keep Reaching out! Why does my ex say they want space but keep reaching out? It's extremely confusing! If you are in a situation where your ex tells you that they want space from you but then they keep contacting you, you probably feel frustrated and scared to act. You may not want to reply as you might be scared that things will get worse since they are not getting the space they need.
In this video we explain why someone will often ask for space but then want to talk with you.
Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.n...
Get Margaret's help: www.askcraig.n...
Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.n...
SUBSCRIBE to the channel to get help with your breakup situation. not communicating.
Add me on instagram @CoachCraigKenneth
Coach Craig Kenneth today my ex told me I have to tell you something and she said I’m going to date him she going to date a guy that she was going out with and other stuff my world just going down now my head is about to blow up
Hey its Katie and I'm shy and my boyfriend left when we were boyfriend and girlfriend but I hard that he got in a fight with nother guy and before left he said that Carthage is too much drama and I dont like too hurt know but he is so popular with other girls because when he breacks up with them he gave me and chance and I was scared but I lost contact with him because it's like other girls tries ta keep him away from me...
Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.
Stop waiting. There is none.
Spongebob n Patrick
Jordan n pippen
Me and my girlfriend...oh wait....not anymore... lol
Goku and Vegeta
Mine said he wanted space. And then he broke up with me. I suggested we both move on Then he kept contacting me, which just hurt me every time he did it because I just couldn't bear hearing from him because I loved him. You want space or you don't... soI told him to stop, that I couldn't do it... and I went NC ... and here we are... 16 months later, together and doing well.
Edited to add: turns out this guy was avoidant. He broke it up again after telling me he no longer felt love and had no real grounding for love. 2.5 years, two splits, never again.
How soon after you told him to stop did you 2 get back together?
@@silkeotd7194 it was about 3 weeks of no contact. Suddenly, one morning I got a text saying he was in the area and was passing by. Bingo.
Edited....he split with me again later that next year ,came back and then split again. Narc or asshole, not sure which.
Never letting him back in. Currently 5 months NC and better than I ever have been.
This is what is happening to me, She broke up with me because I took her to see her grandparents and apparently that made her realize we where moving to quick..... WHAT??? I told her I did it because she asked, apparently that was something I wasn't supposed to do. So she told me the next day she didnt see us together in the future. I told her to get her stuff and leave. 2 Days after she messaged me like we where friends. I said no, you left me we do not have anything together. Then she kept messaging. I told her you did this to your self! Then I told her to never talk to me out of anger. Then I went to no contact.
Going through a 6 yr breakup he said he needed space and felt choked by me so he left me. I begged and pleaded last month until this month i decided to go no contact and not bother him anymore.. i hope he comes back and realizes he loves me it hurts so much😔💔 im two weeks no contact and i have faith he will! Thank you needed to see this
@@michellel245 How did it go?
My opinion is, just ignore him. I been there and I just left, these people have hard time knowing what they want.. they reach out but that's about it.
For him, it's about doing the work to make a solid union. Once things become work and stop being fun, the avoidant feels pressured to fill a need and checks out of the relationship. When you call them out on their lack of communication and the absence of connection, the avoidant feels justified to end the relationship because he can't deal with the stress every time it gets mentioned. They don't even realize they are doing this they just know they gotta run away from the dynamic.
Exactly why
Love this Friday nite video & Margaret’s reactions are priceless. Ex’s are bloody confusing! I’m so worn out these past two years that I don’t want anyone but my dogs at this point. They come, they disappear, they beat around the bush @ meeting up, they vanish again, they stalk, send pointless texts; no wonder all our heads are spinning! Great video Coaches!
😂 Indeed. Self preservation at this point.
I'm sticking with my cats.
0
this reminds me so much of my ex... She told me at first she never wanted a serious relationship w/ me, and that she was better off alone. After six days of me not reaching out to her, she proceeded to text me "I know that you hate me, but you could at least say hi every once in awhile" are you f***Ing kidding me?? make up your damn mind!😂 people can be so strange at times!
Omg I'm going through this now. He is so confusing.
The fact that she is saying she is afraid of losing him tells me that she is also insecure and not mature. You have to be willing to walk away from somebody and stand on your own otherwise you risk being codependent and it’s unhealthy
It’s very confusing. When they say there no time for a relationship and keep reaching out but then never tell why
This sounds like a rollercoaster through personality disorder central. My heart goes out to them and their children.
You have to be careful when people say they become “clingy.” This can often be a warning sign that they are involved with a narcissist and that nothing they do to the narcissist is good enough. It’s also a sign of gaslighting as far as I am concerned. The fact that she expressed her feelings and he told her to calm down and relax is 100% gaslighting so I am right about what I’m saying!!!!!
I can tell you the reason he started with hurtful words to get space: he realized deep down that he needed to protect his heart... her side of the story is focused on what he did and how she feels, of course but at the start she was the avoidant and he was the anxious... they were perfectly flip flopping back and forth triggering one another's anxiety perfectly. Margaret said it all when she said "wow..." I couldn't agree more. I can totally relate with some of my past experiences. ❤️🙏
Same with my ex... dad abandoned him at age 6. Mother was raising him like hell as she was schizophrenic... so he turned out to be a narcissist/borderline/psychopath. The push & pull is all too familiar, and that doesn't even describe the abuse in this whole thing they impose on others plus the cheating and triangulation. Sure, he himself abandoned his own children (not mine) but lives in denial of that. No contact for 10+ months now. I'm done.
This is a great video but dear God it's a huge trigger for me! This is exactly what I went through when my wife ended our marriage. What happens is they eventually DO wean off you and you are left traumatized. I would love to see a video about the dangers of an ex weaning off. However, the great analysis of this situation by you two wonderful coaches helps me to realize it wasn't all my fault. I miss her dearly 💔
:(
I’m getting closer to giving up on the outcome everyday.
Same here. Just tired of it at this point.
I'm eagerly hoping I get to this point soon.
Same here
Sometimes it may not be out of pure spite, which is why you have to be careful. Ppl can reach out just to see if you're still around as a safety net, and once they've got their fix, disappear, and that can turn into a cycle if you're not careful.
Me and my ex broke up over 2 yrs ago, she use to do this all the time. Each time I'd go nc, she'd reach out and I'd fall for it. I'd always reinforce im not interested in being her friend, until I just stopped saying that bit. I'd just tell her ,that we're clearly not on the same page. This last time, we didn't speak over a yr. She was lurking. Until one day, I decided to take her number put of my phone, and all of a sudden she phoned me one random day, left no msg. When I msged back later, to ask if she phoned, I heard nothing back the same day, and the next day, so I just blocked bc, I could see where it was going, just wanted to see how far gone I was .
Coach Margaret, am glad you brought up the Anxious-Avoidant attachment style to explain "wanting space but reaching out" ...
She needs to draw some clear boundaries with this guy. He does sound borderline, which is no wonder, if we think about his trauma. Loved the expression "a completely unaddressed pathology", btw! Characteristic of so many people.
Going through the same thing...I say it's too much to bear. Too complicated. Get out now with your sanity😣
If you look at the stories online this is the state of most relationships.
Vanish and come back cycle..
He needs a emotional reset. She must if she can on the long term be a person who won't abandon him. He will get used to your presence and the next step will ensue naturally.
The emotional rollercoaster! I feel really bad, he has done some AMAZING THINGS for me and I love him with all my heart. Things that shows thoughtfulness and care, but how can someone want you, but not, want you, but not? I'm ok to have fun with, be intimate with, and do thoughtfully things for, but still he wants to live a single life? Week after week my heart was left broken for a year after the initial break up. I finally stopped communicating, I couldn't do it anymore. 3 months now and I still cry everyday. He's my best friend.
I'll never know what happened.
I feel you J Marie, was in the same situation with my ex GF
It's Soo Sad. Even when love exists when two people cannot make it work. Abandoned = Borderline behavior
I ❤ Margaret! Please keep posting her videos. The fact that we can keep lesrning from her for years to come, could be her legacy.
There is growth in commitment. He could be keeping his options open. Either way he is not trusting nor is he respecting her wishes. She needs to be strong enough within herself to put her foot down and reinforce her boundaries and let him know that she will re-engage in conversation when he is ready to put on his big boy pants and
I think my ex is just a liar, she probably just wants to go mess around and still have me around. how does someone send u a text saying "do u still love me"...i say "yes"...they ask "are u sure"...i say "yes, but i dont wanna put any pressure on u"...then they say "i still love you"...well if you love me, why aren't u with me...like for cfuks sake
How is it going so far?
@@eudesjAraujo i clearly still love her, so i decided to stay true to that feeling of love for as long as it lasts. And now shes back with me for some reason...but yeah with what happened, i wont lie, i did get a little bit of closure...i see the good side of all this happening
When they say they want space....they are trying out someone else.
Chris Williamson that’s how my ex was. After 2 years she wants space then went and blew some dude.
@@hindy7570 when they say, I need space, we are growing apart, we are going in a different directions, it's not you it's me....rest assure its either they have someone else in mind or they already have been with another.
That’s what it was in my case. She was with some fucking-asshole while she had her “space”.
I think he reached out, to text me HBD, to assuage his own guilt.
It had been 8 days post break up; the first three I spiraled but the fourth I pulled myself together and started no contact. I was working on myself and focusing on moving forward. His HBD text was totally unexpected. The most offensive part was his last line “friends forever”. It felt like he reached out strictly to make himself feel better. It felt like he was offering me a consolation prize. (He broke up because I have an adult medically fragile, mentally and physically handicapped child. I am his 100% sole caregiver. His father gets him 5 hours on Sundays... most of the time. After 4 months my ex decided he didn’t want to love someone he couldn’t have to himself for vacations and weekends. Whatever.)
So, I don’t think it is always a good thing when they reach out... sometimes it is pure selfishness.
I can’t tell you how many dating coaches and videos that I see where men are blaming themselves and even women calling themselves “clingy quote and what they’ve done is internalized a narcissistic gaslighting. This is happening more than you could ever imagine. Unfortunately a lot of coaches and counselors well then blame or victim shaming the real victim and not even realize they are a victim of gaslighting from a narcissist
Dumper wanting dumpee back but finds out dumpee in rebound
That's where I'm at...she took to long.
If she would reinforce her boundaries and cut him off until he’s ready to commit then I’m sure he will come with flying colors and be ready to commit
I did this with my ex! We have 2 kids so we have to talk only about the kids. But other than that I’ve cut her off. She’s a huge avoidant and I feel bad but she’s in a rebound at the moment. She can’t have both of us! Xx
It sounds like he is breadcrumbing her. He won’t commit. If I were her I would set a clear boundary and let him know that she will reengage with him once he respects her wishes and decides to commit. She is getting attention and false validation from her every time she responds via text message that they’re not together. The boundaries have not been respected
This is EXACTLY what I’m going through right now!
My ex reached out to me two days ago on my birthday but I didn't reply back because I want nothing to do with him and I have a new boyfriend.
Craig, would you be able to do a video on codependency? I go to regular therapy and my therapist has recently told me she thinks I am codependent. I would love your insight on the topic.
My wife walked out 2 months ago ,, yesterday said she loved and missed me while grabbing my hand and kissing it. She said she had stuff to work out in her head. Whatever tf that means. I told her she's still my wife and I love and miss her too, but won't wait around forever. I was told a week before she didn't want to give me false hope, why tell me she loves and misses me then? I was doing so good to, not hoping and now she revived the feelings of hope and I hope I'm not wasting my time.
Good luck man, hope everything works out for you.
I’m in a very similar position myself. Some of what you wrote could have been written by me.
He sounds like a control freak. The minute she found another guy he all of a sudden wanted to be exclusive?? Total insecure and control freak he is
My ex has been like this, giving me confusing signals about wanting space and then getting upset when I gave her that space (I went No Contact). She reached after the first NC which was several weeks, but got upset that I was "cold" to her. She started giving me the ignore treatment. I left one last voicemail that pretty much said I was not going to make any more effort since I felt my efforts were one sided and going nowhere. She called me after 19 days of NC & we talked for a while. We agreed that we'll talk soon again so we'll see how it goes!
Update?
There was this guy who was in love with me and he did his best for 27 months.
I never thought I loved him and i took him for granted, living my best life.. while he was hurting . He would cry and plead and all I had to offer was friendship . Three months ago I decided to give him a chance and i statt being serious but because of my past .. He didnt trust me anymore . 2 weeks ago he start talking to someone . He said he loved me and always will but he needs space . I hate this feeling. I let him be alot and then I break and cry . But it seem my pain only makes him stronger. He said he will come back but he needs to sort himself out. Will he come back or will he fall in love ?
Im sorry to hear that. Im NC Day 43. How did things play out so far for you? :)
" I decided to give him a chance" -> No offense, but you are the one who has to EARN a chance on him. Not the other way around.
27 MONTHS???! Are you serious
I told my ex after she said she needs space and to work on herself.. I gave 3 years to her and I know she needs to do this but it’s so hard to hear from her month after month .. she’s even gotten pissed thinking I’ve moved on but it was just a friend liking my stuff.. it’s really hard .. she knows how I feel and she’s said she still loves me but she can’t ask me to wait ..
He is a player and just wants her to chase him, maybe a bit narcissistic?
When she said that she needed some space and wanted something real she should have ever ever reengage with him before he committed to her again. We invite others to disrespect us. She is sending out a mixed message by reengage in with him when he reached out again acting like they were together without an official commitment.
"but you don't want them to reach out if they're Narsisstic. 😕😬
Tell them not to call because you want some space. Never contact them ever again. You don't need a manipulator in your live. They don't love you, quite possibly never were capable of love despite appearances.
whenever i post a selfie on snapchat, he always has to say something to me 🙄
I'm sorry this is the first time I don't agree eith you! my partner broke up with me aft re r 3 years broke my heart then kept reaching out it actually made it a whole lot worse
Very true! The anxiety and stress was new every time! However, for the argument above, I started not to take him on in a negative way and realised that I was the one in control, not him. He needed me, and I knew it! What I stopped doing though was answer the phone after the first half ring! Sometimes I answered, other times I didn't. I did what felt comfy for me - and it took time to be able to do this! I did not allow myself to be on the back-foot and I continued to be there for him but let him know I was not going to invest everything in something that had so much uncertainty! I didn't listen to promises, told him actions were what mattered to me and that I would not hang around whilst he wasted my time pussy-footing around our life! BTW - my husband of 22 years! *smh*
Never it made me get crazy. I felt like my wounds were being scratched every day. He was staying with someone but would call me every day to may be to show me his happiness. I told him to stop calling me if he is not ready to work on the relationship. He could be weaning himself off U
This virus doesn't help. I work out of town too. No contact doesn't exist cause we share a child. Ex lost her job, I'm still working and I will NOT let my kid go without. I'm at a loss..
This was all about one couple... I thought y’all would make something for people that’s actually going through this with the ex just saying they need space but she still contacts me.
Been in this same situation for almost a year now just recently spoke to her and told her I can't be your friend and do the back and forth anymore I see a future with you and you don't see one with me anymore like you use to. She replies I love you I care for you don't answer my calls or text because I'm lonely and miss you I feel like this isn't over but it has to be for now confused as hell to say the least smh!
He broke up with me ,it's 8 months now for no reason,after dating for a year I was noticing that he needed a space.we we're contacting each other all along until the 8th month when he said to me that we are never getting back together.Ok fyn i went no contact after a week boom he reached out to me,I went no contact again after a week again boom he reached out again, I went no contact again boom reached out to me........😂😂 confused,sick and tired,I don't know what to do.Should tell him to stop contacting me? Because he don't want to arrange a date.Thanks in advance.
Lyness Banda how is it? I’m in a similar situation
Update?
@Noubie Tube it was the same back and forth up until November of 2020 she left again my bday was yesterday and haven’t heard from her since the end of November and probably won’t for a long while which is whatever at this point she has issues I can’t fix I showed up the best I could with room for improvement yes that’s all of us but ultimately what I was offering Wasnt congruent with what she wanted for her long term future wish her well and the best of luck but I know who I am and how I show up for those I love so all I can say for her is her loss not mine i never lose I only learn and this relationship taught me a lot all I can do is take those lessons and never make the same mistakes in another relationship like I did here it’s all about a perspective and what’s the story you’re telling yourself hope this helps
This is my ex...yes...no...yes...no.....it's ridiculous....
Out of interest... How do you cope with it? I keep finding that the yes... No... Yes... No resets me back to the depression of the beggining of the breakup.
Yes, Zephirus!!! Currently me.
@@Zephirus10 I did what coach told her to do. I told him What I wanted and just stepped back. I stop being so available. He wants an ego boost and I'm not getting what I want. Mine never stopped for 3 yrs, but never actually did anything. I'm out of patience. I'm not his friend and I don't want that. He even decided to get a gf and still do that. I said no. I had to create boundaries. I'm not getting involved with him. I am not hurting another person because he has no boundaries. I feel used. I also feel he can't do a relationship alone. He had to triangulate. When I stepped back I realised, I am worth more and if he was healthy and good for me, none of this would have happened. I just walked away from it and learned a lessen. I am better for it. I fully expect to hear from him at some point. I am not waiting one more day. I'm really sorry you are going thought that. Be clear on your intentions. But not too emotional. Let them come to you. You are the important one. Just be less available so they can be curious and feel anxiety. I wish I had this channel when I broke up. I'm positive I could have fixed this. But oh well. Watch the videos and learn. Work on yourself. Good luck.
@@cynthiadavison5785 thank you so much for your honest detailted answer. I can believe how selfish and inconsiderate he was to you. Im sorry to hear. Well i guess i better learn from your experience and be clear then be ready to walk away. It was actually way easier when i was in NC. Thanks for the advice. It wont be easy to follow as I really love her but I cant put myself in a bad place for anyone. Wish you all the best for your journey!
@@Zephirus10 I still love him. But I am not sacrificing anymore of myself for his indecision and selfishness. I choose to not take it anymore. He wants the good parts of me and not be accountable or work on resolve. He's avoidant. I'm done with his crap. I jumped off the shelf. I'm very sure he knows it. He lost, not me. I have worked very hard at getting better for myself. I will do better next time, even if it's him. I pulled my own dignity card. I forced respect. Don't lose sight of you. I did that for fear I would lose him. When in fact, I already had and lost my self respect. I spent so much time trying to please him and give him what I thought he wanted. Tell the truth and offer the " if you wanna check it out for real" and stand back. Do you! You will find out what they are made of. You must know and be confident in what you are made of. You deserve better and need to be truthful to yourself. If you don't, you will end up confused and hurt over and over. Mine told me he loved me and then had a girlfriend...really...go do that, bye. He doesn't like it, I'm sure. But he's so avoidant, he settles for that. It easier than resolving our issues. That will get old too. He will trade her for another or some object or me. Time will tell. Stand up tall and be confident in Yourself. Don't be so eager...they have to feel that you are not so easy.
He broke up with me
I begged
He accepted
I gave him space coz he asked for it. Was planning to give him months
Then he reached after 2 days
Now im scared everytime I respond and he texts me.
Im going thuru same situation
Dude, myself and my ex broke up, she said she wanted to work it out and wanted to marry me then she said she wanted space but still wanted to be there for me and be friends in the mean time. She would get mad and argue with me a whole lot more after this, she would say I was sarcastic to her etc when in reality I had just been saying nice things to her. She started saying that I’d said all this crap about her and that she hadn’t been given enough space. It was kinda like if I did something it was wrong but if she did the same thing it was cool. Shit got really narsasistic.
I have a masters degree in psychology and my brain operates honestly on a PhD level, and this guy feels completely borderline to me with some narcissistic traits although borderlines are also narcissistic so it makes sense
Margrets face cracks me up. When she says not fun lol
My ex and I started talking again, we separated cause she wanted more from me , I didn’t meet the standards, so a month went by no contact, we went to a party and attraction started , we talked I let her know I do want the same things , so next day we had small talk , I posted a pic of us , but she says she needs time b4 we sit and talk about us again?
My ex said she needed to find herself and I recently got back into social media since 2 months not going online and just to find out she is dating the guy she told me not to worry about and that he was just there to help her study, ain’t life just funny 😂
I just unfollowed her
Update. Ran into my Ex at the deli today, unexpectedly. He was affable and said: "how are you?" me: "Fine." Then he said "What are you doing around here?" I said "I work around here." and then he said "Where do you work? What have you been up to?" I started to get emotional (I've had a bad month) and I said: "I've just had 2 friends pass away. I don't want to talk." He put his hand on my shoulder and said "You know you can always talk to me." Which triggered me more, bc he said his door would always be open to me during the breakup 6 months ago and then blocked me. I said: "Y'know what? Nevermind." And I walked out. :/
Did I blow it?
Why do you women do crap like this...you're going to lose him and he'll eventually will get tired of your rejections...that's where I'm getting to...you need to do a little chasing yourself and show you are interested or you will lose him forever...time is of the essence.
Chasing? I feel like his comment to me was disingenuous as he said I could always talk to him if I was going through something - but I just checked today I’m still blocked.
Why chase someone that doesn’t want you?
@@SK-nl2kv ...if you broke up with him then it's not his job to get you back...its the dumpers job to do that...cause they initially broke ties...the dumpee is trying to gain control of his/her emotions right now...if your the dumper you'd better hurry while the window is still open before they gain full control of their emotions and decide you're not worth it anymore...if you're the dumpee then just keep working on yourself...let them come back to you...you may find on as time goes on you don't want them anymore.
Are you a troll? No disrespect but you’ve literally not said one thing of use here. I’m obviously the dumpee and if you bothered to read my post you would see what happened and how I feel.
I doubt he will reach out, but that’s okay. It’s taken me 6 months to come to a point where I am ok with that never happening. The guy I dated is gone or maybe never existed at all. He’s an avoidant so I have low hopes of that.
I was supposed to go to the bar and run into him and be drama free - but the unexpected run in w him at the deli and my friends’ passings blew that right out of the water. Oh well.
I ended up emailing him and telling him that I thought it was hurtful how he said I could always talk to him when I remain blocked. That we aren’t friends, and that I felt his behavior was disingenuous towards me. Since I’ve apologized in the past for things I’ve done I said I would never reach out to him again, for any reason. He read it.
I don’t expect a reply.
My ex started contact ing me four days after I started no contact which was three days after he dumped me he's been contacting me regularly and I respond each time but after waiting a day or two I don't know if this is ruining my chances or helping my chances !!???
Sounds like her masculine wants him to be feminine, lol meanwhile he's a mechanic... plus she stated he has a terrible schedule and she obviously has a self image issue. Why would she want to settle for this scenario at all? You might notice I just answered that question. Both involved need to put in work for self growth and healing much like most of us.
She reached out again yesterday morning, & I haven’t responded because I haven’t been able to figure out the right thing to say cause I don’t want ignore her. I love her but I don’t want to get upset or upset her anymore she’s been the one that’s reached out one minute she’s telling me to F..ck off or that I’m not her bf anymore. But then act all nice & caring how she treated me at the start. I’m watching all you’re videos collecting myselg calming down working on myself. Idk what to say to her oh & one of the things she said was she felt I always hurt her I never change but that she’s love me but goodbye. Even tho I know I treated her like a Queen because I love her.
He has moved out in May,but wanted to be in contact and we’ve been in this contact and he promised he will be back, he promised we will have a conversation about us and promised a lot more even wanted to have a baby with me but when I said to him that first I need to feel I’m in relationship with him and he needs to be back home then nothing was happening ..so hes been in and out all time..finally I gave him a time til the 15th of November to decide cause I’m not gonna wait forever..and I didn’t get a message or nothing then 2 days ago he came to my house just to give a food for dog(he’s dog is with me)and my son opened a door for him so he walked in and then he discovered I’m in bedroom so we started talking...he didn’t want to tell me what he decide..:( so I said ok I’m moving on and he wasn’t happy but he said ok..I’m heartbroken cause I feel like this time it’s over for good ..I just don’t understand why he’s been telling me all of these lies...💔💔💔
My ex has reached out twice this month. We've been broken up for about 4 months, NC for 3. Every time she reaches out she talks "business" but, this all could have been handled when the break up took place. It's a start. I'm being cordial, friendly, helping where I can but not initiating. We shall see where this goes.
Update?
@@jmelanierenee it’s been a little over a year, passed the breakup “anniversary” and the date of when our wedding should have been. I’m stronger and happier than ever. I’ve seen/talked to her a few times, we are cordial and what not. My advice, don’t put your life on hold for anyone, especially someone who isn’t giving you the commitment and dedication you know you deserve. Life is too short to be hung up on someone who doesn’t know if they want you.
@@charliemvrphy have you guys tried to work things out?
@@jmelanierenee not my job to work it out. She left me, I told her time and time again that I’d be willing to try again. Ball is in her court at this point.
@@charliemvrphy good choice. In the meantime, I hope you meet someone better than her
Im so glad you did this video. I am in a very similar situation. It’s so confusing!
My wife (we’re separated) reached out to go to lunch after 5 days(?!) of
no-contact. I just don’t get it.
Did you go to lunch with her? I would've.
They both look at the camera and freeze for a second. Hilarious!
Very good advice! I feel sorry for the girl.
Perfect! Thank you so much Craig and Margaret! x
We agreed 4 days ago that he would take space because he needs to lay some past to rest he took his things we have had no contact for 3 days now he has posted two songs on social meadia one song Wish I could turn back the hands of time and you would be mine Why not just talk to me do I respond or continue to give space
My ex told me to move on cause she started dating someone else...but she still watches my snaps...and messages me once and a while about random stuff...I want to try again but it just got complicated cause I might be falling for someone else now...but I still get depressed from time to time...I'm not sure I'm fully ready to move on emotionally and can give my undivided attention to this new woman...help me what do I do...im messed up in the head still.
Sounds like a Fearful Avoidant.
My ex wanted space and time to figure out where she was going to work after her last semester of college then told me she was in love with me and that I means the world to her talked on the phone at night and texted for a week then she said she really needs to take the time and space and I haven’t heard from her in 10 days
I’m curious, I’m in highschool, what do I do if the girl appears where you are, makes eye contact, does all the signs, but doesn’t reach out to you. Just wait?
Hello coach. ..please i want to know your opinion. ..if the ex didn't contact us after 2 month of doing no contact. .is it good idea to unfreind him from Facebook. .i want to make him scared? And I moved on .? Is this a good idea?
Samra la brune
Don't play games. Unfriend only if you really wish to have him gone.
Stay authentic. Thry will respect you in longer term.
@@meeraraj0 thank you for your advice 😙
Samra la brune
This will pass. They do come back. Do not reach out or do anything reactive
Maintain a neutral position.
It will make them think and confuse them.
I agree, don't unfriend unless your 100% done with him and want to move on completely!
NO, do not unfriend him. It is a terrible idea. First of all, unfriending him on Facebook is in my opinion BREAKING no contact. By unfriending him, you ARE communicating with him. You said it yourself "I want to make him scared and worry that I moved on". He will likely understand that this is your goal in unfriending him - to make him scared and provoke him.
I have gone no contact 4 times with her and 4 times SHE has broken it and came back. She started messaging me being all touchy and geeky but after a while I get the feeling she still only wants to be friends so I tell her again that’s not gonna work. She gets upset and says the past 2 months of not talking she hated it. She is an avoidant I think, I told her I don’t wanna be friends yesterday at a party and we talked about it both drunk. She just messaged me to talk about it over coffee when not drunk because she was really happy with how the past weeks went. Is there hope? What do I do?
Yes its the shift.
Ouch!! He went on tinder and said he can't do Mundane!
What does that even mean?
Please make a video on dumpers...dumpees have loads of material to go through
Coach, my ex acts like that all the time... she tells me to move on then calls me asking if I still loves her. What should I do?
@dere mädls I hate the fact that I love her so much that it hurts.
What if they reach out every day? I’m so confused if I should continue talking to him. He doesn’t say anything about getting back or feeling, he’s an avoidant.
Same here :(
Mumal Ahmed I told him that we should stop talking, so he admitted that he wants to try again, we are seeing each other again ;)
My situation is so worst he dumped me suddenly when we were about to get married i did alot for him in past he lied alit to me chated but i always forgave n always told me will never leave but he just left me i have no idea if he got any other girl or throwing excuses over tht his parents not agree
He broke up on me on 5th agust i cried but accepted but won't stop calling me still came again he is sorry and will try to fix out things but he seemed alot happy n relexed n.just kept talking normal nothing mch whn i brought topic he said in anger he won't fix things i blocked him if its a game but still i got notification of his cals after 3 days i unbloked i droped msg today y is he caling stil he ignored n i called him i guess he got sleep wht shoul i do ?
should i go to no contact but he keeps calling me then should i ignore or responed him
I said "ouch" at the same time and tone as Craig 🤣
The first few days she reached out after the breakup and how we are in no contact for about 2 weeks. The breakup was a month ago
My ex is in a new relationship and she's still reaching out to me over week. We don't talk about are issues but she asked about my kid she asks how I am. She sends me old member photos my my kid. She offers her condolencesto me for someone how passed in my life. She tells me a little about what she may be doing that day and stuff like that but she's im a relationship. How do I handel this? At this point im going on a lot of dates and its okay but im still opened to getting back together. What do I do about all this? Coach??
The guy in email is a high spectrum avoidant...run away quickly
Yeah its been 2 months now and im only 10 days into no contact, not a word... dont think ill ever get her back. was together with her for 13 months.
Love revisiting your older videos
Great video you two! 💙
Hey Craig. I’m 3/4 through no contact. I have loads of stuff in her house that she wants me to collect. I haven’t so far and during no contact she hasn’t reached out either even about collecting my stuff. Will my belongings there effect the no contact? Unless it’s pilled up on the street.
Added
So what happens when they reach out but just want to be friends? How do I tell him I can’t do that? (I know I won’t be able to move on as long as he is in my life.)
This is happening to me. Its so confusing... Its it a game?
After a year my ex has been sending me a text once a month and i reply but that’s it ! I haven’t initiated anything and still won’t . It’s like he doesn’t know what to say to me in a text but seems he trying to find a way to contact me because he knows i will not contact him first . Why do they do this ? Is he trying to see if i have anything for him ? I’m not sure if he will reach out again because my last response was short and i took 7 hrs to reply . Games people play 😫
Still the same for you? So sorry... Same for me still too. Its driving me crazy and sad
My ex does this to me too...but I'm dating someone else now...maybe you should too...even if it's only temporary.
Mine gf doing it to but i dont want ti lose her but my gut says walk away
Wasn’t this supposed to be about “space” it came out as mostly an email of some “wealthy” peoples problems... Clickbait??
Looks like these two are in court for divorce proceedings lol..
What do I do if they reach out and say they wondering why I hadn’t reached out to them , told them how I feel as they asked and they have said they were missing me but Havnt heard anything for a week ?
great team! 😃👏
Exactly what’s happening to me… my ex keeps coming back, I’ve told her to lose my number because she was in the “I don’t know what I want, I love you but I’m not in love with you.. but I don’t want to lose you, but I need to work on myself… but I want you here spending time with me and my two daughters that love you, having sex with me and playing house”
Bunch of bullshit
Every time I tell her I’m done, she comes crawling back a week later saying the same shit.
What ended up happening? I'm thru the samething only difference she has 2 boys and I had to block her. Now she wants to meet to talk.
@@johnnycalderon9951 found out she was trying to play house with another guy she had feelings for before she met me over a year and a half prior… didn’t work out, she was heart broken and to this day still messages me 😂
@@Matty_1985wow I met her a year and half after her husband had past away she told she had a texting relationship with someone before me so supposedly I'm the 1st guy after her husband. Well according to her family.
My ex got into another relationship right after our break up when he does reach out he says he's confused and need time and space so I give him the space then he reaches out again...and is going back and forth what should I do or say when he reaches out again? He told me he left me cause I wasn't giving him the love and attention he needed...yet he's in another relationship but keeps contacting me when he does he says he still loves and misses me plz help cause I'm really confused right now.
Same thing here what happened
I know this is late but when someone leaves you and gets in another relationship right away it's because they were seeing or talking to that other person while you were together. Thats not fair to you. A man never leaves the woman he wants and it has nothing to do with you. If he comes back and you take him back, he will leave again and you would have wasted more time. Trust me, I know it's hard but it's the truth. Go on and live your life, there are so many other people out there .
Hello Craig, I'm going through a situation I dont even know. How to solve it.
This is so true !!
Last we had talked about her returning my things.. But I decided to not follow up and go into no contact but she reached out in just 3 days?? Saying Hi and hope I am doing well and when and where I want to meet to get my things..? I don't get it tho only 3 days. I have not replied. Because before that she had said she wants time and space to see if she loves me. But even that was only 4 days before her reach out today. I am so confused..
That's soon, but in other videos it's mentioned that you should not ignore them but answer politely and to the point. Only continue communication if they reach first.
@@anaortiz4578 luckily I've read the messages but she does not know I've read it. I've been radio silent everywhere. I want to tell her I don't want me sweaters back. I want to see her tho. I don't know if that's smart
Craig, I have dated her for 1yr and some months now and we are engaged to get married January this year, all of a sudden she doesn’t want me around her again, when I called she will not pick, when I texted it will take her few days to reply me, when I asked, can I come over to see her? She will said no, in a while now she will text me hey how are you doing. I’m confused, should I stop replying her text and move on with my life or should I give her time?
When someone wants you, they won't have you second guessing. Been there, move on with your life. I know it's hard but move on. We try hard to make it work with people who don't value us and what needs to happen is we just need to start loving ourselves more than we love them.
My boyfriend text me 2 days ago said that he needed to reflect so I have been very distant not contacting him but yet he's been texting me saying other things now he says 3 days later that I can call him what should I do I've been waiting on him to contact me but now he's acting call him?
What did you do? And what happened