Craig i gotta give you credit bro... You helped save my marriage. I took your advice step by step and put in the work. When she reached out i was ready. Thank you sooo much God bless!!!
Coach Craig Kenneth I do want your help personally just can’t afford it atm lol. But I have one quick question if you have time to answer. I received an indirect/direct message and handles it well kept answers short and casual. I wanted to ask her to meet up and talk/go on a date, but being the dumpee and the lack of her initiating said date/meet up I held off on it. This was almost a week ago do you think I should reach out about it or wait for her and possibly a more direct approach?
I can't recommend therapy enough. I'm a trucker and a "man's man" so it's hard to admit when I need help but this breakup is the toughest thing I've gone through and I lost my sister when I was 14. Guys, I thank God every night I'm in therapy and I can imagine if I was doing this alone. Please consider it. Above all remember, this feeling CANT be forever and I've personally noticed the best time in my life were following the worst times. Hang in there, it's about to get good
She reaches out all the time, and I’ve always known this would one day happen, as we did have a special bond. If she truly didn’t miss me or care she wouldn’t reach out at all.
I read it once 😅 but tbh it's very much similar feedback. Repetition is the mother of skill 😅 basically you learn and catch on eventually. But Craig definitely is much more human to us in terms that we can understand easier. Corey however lays the smackdown on our candy asses 😭
@@joseesquivel826 I agree. Corey knows his stuff no doubt about it and I like him a lot. However after listening him crucify people instead of showing more sympathy you start need softer approach as well. That is the reason why I listening to Craig, Love Chat, Dating Guy as well. They are much more sympathetic.
Electronite1337 Yep I agree C W had great material but he’s far too Brutal when he shouldn’t be ! Plus it’s not easy as he says when trying too pick up Woman I do ok but it’s really hard work! It’s a pain really DG, Love chat and Craig Kenneth with Margaret are the best coaches going around On this note I’m thinking my Ex is getting interested 🙂
Interesting note about how anxiety can cause poor memory. Love these little extra bits of researched psychological knowledge you include in your videos.
Coach Craig is on point with indirect/ direct approach! I had a coaching session with him and he was straight to the point and told me the places where I messed up. He also told what I needed to do to work on myself. Me and my ex have been broken up for 3 weeks. she texted me today asking me to call her. I was thrown off guard about it, so I was joking with and asked her what it was about and all she said was please just call me. So I did, the direct part was asking me to call. The indirect part she was asking me if she can come pick up her furniture. She could had just texted me and told me she need to get her furniture. Coach Craig told me what to say and how to handle it when she came around again. So she told me that and I asked how have she has been, she said this " I'm good, and I was kinda nervous to call you." my response "why?" she said "you know" how I responded " You don't need to be nervous, so let's catch up. When are you free tomorrow?" she said " I have a job interview at 5." I said " ok, let's gets some drinks and have some appetizers. I'll pick you up at 7pm." her response "Ok, but I'm not drinking though." I asked this "look if I came by, are you going to be ready when I come by at 7?" she said " yes I will be ready, where are we going?" All I told her is that I will handle the details and not to worry about it. My situation different, and the Coach will tell you what you need to do. Thank you coach and I will keep you guys updated!
Attraction is not a choice. Good job man! What's the latest update? Every time my ex reaches out, I always set up a date. She has done the same by asking me out too. In a sense, we are back together, but not officially. Just letting her come and go as she pleases.
That’s funny, I hope you have a good day, from an ex you haven’t heard from in a year. 😂 Hearing this made my anxiety level go a bit down. Life for us dumpees would be so much better if our ex’s tell us directly, “I miss you very much and I want to work on things together!” Wouldn’t that be a blessing?
I just got a message a few hours ago, after weeks on and off of no contact. I say on and off because I would only reach out if they did first, like you teach. Anyway, he ignored my last reply for over a week and started taking a few things down on social media. I was fearing the worst. But out of nowhere. I get a message, almost a replica of some of the indirect-direct situations you describe. I thought at first it was a joke and he knew I'd been watching you! 😂 he asked about a shirt that I don't even think is at my house! He asked if I remember it and also said he hoped I was alright. Soo weird! I will make sure to reply soon, and not ignore him, but need to catch up on some needed sleep. Thank you very much for all these videos Craig. This one was funny too!
My ex just contacted me twice in over a year the other day. Still wrestling with if I want to respond. We were together for year and a half and we’re going to get married and then literally one night she ended the relationship with “ I can’t focus on a relationship” sounds like she found someone new and it didn’t work out. Excellent video I agree with it and you made me laugh towards the end. Definitely needed it!
True because Sunday my ex was dropping me off from church and along the ride I told him to give his mom a hug for me. He said, "you can give it to her yourself". I said I don't know where she lives. It took me until the next day to realize he was trying to ask me to come with him to visit her. I had previously mentioned wanting to come with him as he sits with her. It seems this was his indirect direct way of asking me.
From what I've seen, most of the people that are seeking how to get an ex back were in some type of co dependent relationship where they always were the ones that was trying to fix whatever was broken. This poor guy in this email is really suffering bad and you see that. He's reading in way more than what's really going on. I've done some of that after a break up til I gained clarity on what was really happening. It's like a sickness til you get better.
Many people who have attachment trauma use some type of unhealthy coping strategies as reality is too painful. Often times people lie to themselves or twist reality to create a story that is less painful. Our brain can only handle so much pain before we do maladaptive strategies such as living in denial. The best way to heal is to talk about things. A little at a time is fine. But talking about our pain is critical to our healing.
Coach Craig Kenneth Excellent points Craig and I've done a little of this right after a break up as my own coping mechanism but not to this extent, but this guy is really suffering bad from this break up. I know now it's kinda encoded into our own survival instincts to lessen the pain and distort reality. These are great video's. I always try to learn something new.
I got a little off topic, but I thought I should point out how people are often looking for signs that an ex is coming back when it may be a distortion of what's really going on. Then I wanted to share how when someone is usually interested again they do the Indirect/Direct approach (that's my term for it). They also do something I call a Junkie Stunt. Which is something I haven't even discussed yet! A topic for another day lol
Coach Craig Kenneth Yeah Craig, as I said I've kinda done some of this myself and when I watched a friend of mine go through the same thing last year, he was coming up with baseless reasons as to why he thought his ex would come back to him and as it turned out, she had been quite happy dating some new guy and it's now been two years and she's still with that guy and never contacts my friend but I tried to warn him to not get into too much expectation and delude himself as there was no evidence that she had any interest in him again but he learned the hard way. Very painful lessons we have to go through.
Hey Craig, i can't thank you enough for what you and Margaret do. Thank you so much. I really appreciate the videos you put out. They're very insightful and inspiring.
Wow! I never really knew why I have such bad memory, as a child I have no memories what so ever unless my family tells me some short stories. my parents were usually working, I'd spend very little amount of time with my parents. now that I'm older I tend to feel empty, 2 years ago I git very attached to the boyfriend I had and one day I felt so much pain that I just wanted to drink and I started crying begging him not to leave me. I tend to ask my family if they love me because I've never really heard that growing up. it's been tough because I've had to boost up myself esteem, I belittled myself for so long and now I'm trying to work on myself. please if you ever do read this comment know that there might be plenty of people in my situation. trying to understand the why of why we are a certain way. it's not easy. please do more videos like you did your intro
Im getting the work books now. I have been watching your videos and taking notes. These videos have changed my life! I am now understanding myself. I admit, it is so scary discovering all of this and trying to work through it. Makes my anxiety spike!
What about men, is an ex bf less likely to reach out eventually after they broke up with you, compared to an ex girlfriend? Would their intentions be different as a man?
I am not a professional but I do not think, that gender plays a role here. What's more important is their attachment style, I can assure you that we men also experience emotions just as you do, but we are less liek likely to show them.
This happened to me. My ex broke up with me about 5 months now, one day I receive a text about, how my dogs have been? And, what is the contact information for my chiropractor. I wish I would've found these videos before that happened. It really had me scratching my head.
This is unreal! I am still inclined to go with Craig says about the time limit on no contact; he makes perfect sense. My ex and I parted ways some time ago and of course, I was crushed. I mean, we had been together for 6 years and we were about to tie the knot. We are both teachers and 30 days exactly to the date, she sent me a message on Whatsapp. I have been looking at the videos, ordered the Knowledge series during my no contact period (30 days and counting) and doing the work. The old me would have instantly called her but I held out, truth be told, the message was quite bland. We are both teachers and the message contained all the dates of events related to the coming school year. I sim[ply messaged back "Thank You" and went on with the gay's business.
The only thing I'll say is it could be a test or ego boost. Mine went happy birthday, I replied thanks. Then I haven't heard anything since. If I had replied with a question I feel like that would have boosted her ego while she may be in the dating phase. Not helpful. If she really wants you back she'll do more than one attempt, I struggle with this because I want to think had I sent thanks, how have you been would she be back, but honestly she would have just lost interest altogether of anything no contact did. At least imo.
i watch alot of shows online and never ever comment good or bad.the only reason im reaching out you said you went of topic as a bad thing i believe in everything happens for a reason and i felt i owed you a thank you for going of topic like you did of the most constructive insightful piece of information ive heard, dont ever apologize for helping out you do a great service
my ex just texted me again- he sends me a "Good Morning "and that he was thinking of me, because he hauled a jeep to an auction...I was like how does he know I am looking to soon get a suv...strange!
Craig great point on the unhealthy stress/coping skills mechanisms and their effects on relationship. This is totally me I believe with my ex. My ability to deal with problem and controlling me stress mechanism to what she said to me. I didn't like it and I bursting out, which lead to her telling me to pack my things and take them with me. This lead to me not dealing or listening to what she was asking or telling me. I left and she broke up with me. If I just settled down and listen to what she was saying things would be different I feel.
Coach Craig , Can you do a video on more in -depth attachment styles please? What causes avoidance style n anxious style is what I'd like to know. Thank you.
My ex reached out last week. Said she was stalking my profiles and dating profile. She’s missed me everyday and wanted to catch up. We talked about things. She said she thinks she made the right decision. I said I respect her decision but I disagree, I told her why. I think she realized she screwed up. She asked if she can reach out again. I think I screwed up saying I don’t want it to turn into breadcrumbing and can’t just be friends with her. If she has intent behind her reach out I’m open to it. I shouldn’t have been worrying about the future and just the present moment.
Last contact with exgf was a Death Threat because I was waiting at a public park which was close to her apt. It was also where I waited for my Daughter to call me to pick her up at her place! I didn't know either so I filed a police report...
My ex spouse of 13 years has been texting me on every holiday, including my birthday for the past couple of years. I was like....what???.....okay.....hmmmm. They had even got married and divorced since our divorce. We had three children together which are all grown. From dating and marriage a total of 26 years together. I filed for the divorce because of their infidelity. What else can I make of this behavior?
They will send a confusing text either because they are testing the waters and really want to get back with the one they left, or some who just want to keep holding, controlling their exes's feelings just like a puppet in their hands. Then when the poor other becomes gullible and jumps on it, the ex plays cold again.
Beginning of this video, as someone who was adopted relationships in general are hard and the family i was adopted into is by far from close so reaching out and trying to befriend people is incredibly hard and ex's are tough because when you do finally connect with someone it's a massive attachment phase and psych re-evaluation that takes place. Thank you for this video man, good stuff you''re helping clear the fog up
I do think you need to go on with what causes us to react or respond when it comes to losing memory because of anxiety and reasons why we lose relationships. You are not getting off subject many have no idea why relationships go south. Good info so far
Mine says he told his little boy we broke up and how sad the little one is about it. Then he mentioned trying to make something that I used to make but it wasn't very good. I'm not sure but I think he's reaching out and saying 'Don't go' but I'm not sure why. The stuff about his son is manipulation.
It’s small but I block him on Instagram when we first broke up and he wants to add me again. Keep the faith. This is post three months and one month of no contact and yes, he is seeing someone!!! I’m so happy. This might not mean anything (breadcrumbs), not going to reach out but it’s something
My ex did that approch many times even with "I miss you" texts but nether come back when I bit. And I did'nt bite evey time because I knew that even though she talking like that she would't back it up with actions
Watching this video because I am generally lost and a very scared with my Ex lol We have been texting since she broke NC, but things got weird. She got vague, kept snapping and getting angry if she thought I was with someone or if I didn't reply quickly (She is also in another relationship). I got very sick and fell asleep and woke up to my phone blown up her angry at me for not texting - I told her I was asleep, and that I called a friend to come over to take me shopping for food and medicine (a female friend). I posted on snapchat us having fun and chilling, then she blew up even more getting very angry. I tried asking whats wrong, but now she is ignoring me and so I have to step back too. Anxiety sucks. I want to text her more, but I have to stop. I did spam her a bit too much, so I need to control myself and stay strong. She hasn't blocked me on anything-- yet-- so here is to hopping. She knows I love her and everything, so I hope she comes around eventually. If anyone of you are reading this and are in a similar situation, I hope my small story gives you guys guidance, and DONT SPAM YOUR EX for the LOVE OF GOD! lol :D
Your tangent on anxiety and memory loss made so much sense to me!! I have GAD and very selective memory. I had no idea my anxiety is what could be affecting my memory. Interesting 🤔
My wife left 2 months ago and yesterday she told me she loved and missed me and grabbed my hand. She said she has to figure stuff out. I just told her she's my wife till she isn't and I don't believe in temporary marriages but I'm not going to wait forever, it isn't fair to me or to her. Not sure what her reasoning of telling me that ,, other than making me hold on, especially telling me last week she didn't want to give me hope.
Very interesting perspective on ADD. It actually makes a whole lot of sense. About a month into no contact, mine texted me about a hoodie i had at his house. Then we met up, he gave it to me and we talked for about an hour. A few days later he texted me that he also found a pair of hello kitty socks of mine and he needs to help me clean out my trunk before i leave for vacation. Lol what 😂
I shut down and just Ghosted out. It was easier to run away and not deal with it then to stay and suffer the loss. I’m cursed with memory. I remember everything.if she had wanted to know me she would have contacted me. You never get over it but you have to get used to it.
Oh my gosh!! Craig - are these real letters? (not insinusting you being untruthful!!) I just can't believe someone would be so deluded!!! Saying that though, one of my exes insisted on not returning one of my favourite dresses just because I didn't want to be with him. He still has it after two years (I am hoping he's thrown it away & not sleeping next to it! 🙄). Wow...mental health is paramount. Another great video.
What about MEN?? Do men contact there ex again only if he's interested? I wish u would have said this also in this video.... Thanks for your expertise Craig 😉 always appreciate your insight to the fullest
make a video where kids are involved, because it gets more complicated since you have to see the ex, and knowing if they are seeing someone new because you just can't avoid it. it's harder to move on because we just don't get that break, I know for a fact it would be easier if we didn't have kids so that way I'd stay away from her.
Have recently stumbled upon your videos. I have been following a different program and am so so worried I have ruined my chances of getting my guy back. I truly hope that through your videos I can try and reset things...
My ex did a few of the things your talking about she contacts me once a month every 20 days or so. A lot of messages are confusing but recently today she sent me a i hope you had. A good 4th of July so I guess she misses me. Thank you for the advice. Craig out of all the coach’s I have watched you really make the most sense
Guys i dont know if I'm getting indirect message from my ex.... Long story short we broke up a 7 weeks ago, been together 4 years. She left not understanding i was depressed. And thought the symptoms i was getting from it was me just being lazy in the relationship. So she thought i wasn't putting in effort when i was very depressed due to being overworked at work and mistreated Now she emailed me yesterday. She's a singer. I am a videographer. She emailed to ask if we can do another music video together. As we hoped each other out like that a lot. We were a great team. Which she also stated in the email. The email looked rushed. A lot of grammar mistakes. And on her insta story. I see she recorded a song about me... "I really miss your company, I'm thinking about what we could be...." Is this indirect or she giving me hidden messages? Like I'm not distorting reality. Like if she wants to reach out she should. But like Graig mentioned women don't want rejection and she may feel vulnerable
hey craig thnx 4 all you do for me.. my girlfriend broke up with me a month ago after following your channel i started to see that why she left was my own fault i neglected her placed her in a trofy closet and expected this would work out with a bit of pollishing some time... in the mean time i am struggeling with my self and my past problems (not an excuse to neglect her) she came all the way from napoli (itali) to my home town in holland after 2 times meeting up we where so in love that we started a relation maby to fast without knowing each other... and i never made her feel at home ore apriciated her for what she had done..she left everything for me to be with me and then i behave like i dont apriciate it... cause i was to bussy with everything that was happening in my life plus the fast move to start living togheter made me build a wall for her.. now here is the thing she started dating some one 2/3 weeks after the break up. i acted like a fool after i found it out by myself she was dating some one i knew we stil have contact but i hold a bit distant, but alsow when we meet we talk openly friendly calm and look at each other as if we want each other but still she says i have to just move on and let her go and now last monday i had to tattoo her and we spoke about what went wrong and about our feelings the talk went realy good we laught we had fun the whole evening but now i dont know how to read her signals.. do i need to take steps before i blow it ore should i take it slow and stay "friends" so we can try to build new foundations there are a lot of details that shows she still cares and still loves me she even has and walks still in my hoodys, and yesterday she wanted to borrow them after she was here and needed to go home in the cold so i lent her that... just to be a gentleman.. you can understand that this all is driving me crazy for over a month now cause i dont know how to read the signals i am holding strong knowing that i need to be strong and i need to start to work on myself and my behavior towards people its a dificult sitiuation and i am a bit hopeless could you Craig ore anyone else.. please help me out with a comment ?
Thank you for going off topic in the beginning there. :) I have anxiety and attention deficiencies and your explanation has me thinking about a lot of things.
My ex contacted after 14 days of NC. She wanted to let me know my ex-wife was selling things on yard sale sites. She attached a screen shot of the add. I just replied thanks for letting me know. Then a few days later she sent another text regarding the same thing and she asked for her things back. I told her I was busy and I’d get them to her when I could. Then after a few more days she text me about her things again. I called her and we talked for a few minutes. Nothing serious, just small talk. Then the next day she sends my a video of her bird and her dog. I text back that I miss them. She didn’t reply. The day after that I get a text with a screenshot of the movie Fern Gully with the caption best movie ever. It was a movie we watched together a few days before we broke up. I responded with yes, it’s a good movie, but I’m more of a lion king man myself. She did not respond. So my question would be where those indirect direct approaches? Why would she feel the need to tell me my exwife was having a yard sale? Why would she send me a pic of the dog a bird and then the next day a memory of a movie we watched? Also should I contact her to give her her things back or wait until she asks again? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Must not feel that bad if he cheated on her. I get that people aren’t perfect and everyone is different, but having the balls to initiate the act and go all the way through. He must not really cared for her nor care for the consequences that the outcome might bring in the future. I do believe he needs some serious help tho...
You have so much patience with your clients. Wow, this one did make me chuckle a bit, but yeah, sometimes people have great intentions and are simultaneously delusional about where they are at in the personal growth department. Very tactful and empathetic on an issue that is hard to be empathetic with.
Hey Craig! I watch your videos all the time and they have done me wonders! My ex and I broke up 3 months ago and I am 25 days NC. We were together for three years and lived together for most of it. These last few days he’s been having causal conversation with my sister (but didn’t talk about me) After three days of talking to my sister He then texted me and said I had a piece of mail at his house. Is that considered a indirect message? I don’t want to misinterpret.
I want to be Petty right now...my ex broke up with me less than a week ago. I went into nc...today he texted me "how are you". It wasn't a bad break up. Actually he was a gentleman about it. I gave him his space, didn't beg or cry...I blocked him from social media, and left him with my dignity intact. He KNOWS I am a good woman...well, again, I wanted to be Petty and not respond to his lame ass text, I waited a couple of hours to respond. I texted him that I was doing well and asked him how he was doing. He responded...that's it. Back into no contact!!! I want dude to feel my pain dammit!!!!Am I wrong???
@@tuliposensa yes. I discovered he was a textbook narcissist. I left him alone and spent a yr and a half single. I got closer to God and did a great amt of self reflection. Well fast fwd to my current status...I am now engaged since 2 days before valentines day to a man I've known for yrs. His core is amazing and he is selfless. I thank God for him
Craig.hate to repeat myself but Men don't contact women they're not interested in either..both the same..love you..your'e so smart and so charming.thank you for these priceless videos.
Wrong: women contact men (exes) for many reasons: to understand and know what errors to avoid repeating such errors with future guys, or bc they're genuinely worried about the ex, or bc the ex has a skill /expertise in a specific domain, or simply to be friends (exes can make the best of friends esp for advice on new relationship, since they know you and your blindspots). I'm in touch with many of my exes, tho none are American. Simply put bc they think you can still enrich one another's life even in a non sexual manner. But it only works if both parties agree to became friends. The "have a good day" one yr later's funny, must be an American thing...How did the man react?
I’m an anxious man making the transition to a more secure attachment style and my ex gf is avoidant. We broke up right before New Years and she said that there’s now way to make things better between us. After 6 days of not reaching out to her, she texted me saying she wanted to meet up to return some of my things. (I’m thinking this is the “indirect direct approach”) We couldn’t meet up the day she texted me because we both had schedule conflicts, but I told her to just let me know when she’s available again. Is this a sign she’s done, or wants to give me another chance?
HAHAHAHAH .. "what about the 365 days before today , today's the day " lost it at that part :D:D you crack me up Craig, its been a month as of the 15th of no contact and im working hard on moving on , its been touch but these videos have really gotten me through , thank you sir! :)
Yesterday I got a misdirected message, followed by an "I'm sorry that was for my cousin..." text. I sent a thumbs up back. After 7 months and not one misdirected text from him, what are the chances this was on purpose? I haven't dwelt on it too much, but I am interested in what others here think about it... And even Coach Craig's thoughts if he sees this....
Craig what do think about the “wrong person” text? After she left me a message on my wall on my birthday I ran into her coming out of Walmart a week later. She said my name a few times and when I turned around it seemed like she was really happy to see me. We said hi to each other and talked a litttle bit the went on our way. A few days later I got a text from her. It was a screenshot of directions only for her to realize 4 hours later she realized she sent it to the wrong person. A part of me says she did it on purpose. What do you think? Is she interested again?
Craig i gotta give you credit bro... You helped save my marriage. I took your advice step by step and put in the work. When she reached out i was ready. Thank you sooo much God bless!!!
Awesome! Congratulation! If you’d like to share your story with everyone, email it to me!
Coach Craig Kenneth I do want your help personally just can’t afford it atm lol. But I have one quick question if you have time to answer. I received an indirect/direct message and handles it well kept answers short and casual. I wanted to ask her to meet up and talk/go on a date, but being the dumpee and the lack of her initiating said date/meet up I held off on it. This was almost a week ago do you think I should reach out about it or wait for her and possibly a more direct approach?
How are things going?
Cody Tarnowski asking me?
Coach Craig Kenneth My ex visited my work place after almost a year she could have avoided coming there should I reach out?
This dude is a freaking emotional genius and has literally confirmed every bit of research I've uncovered. The logo for his episodes is spot-on.
I can't recommend therapy enough. I'm a trucker and a "man's man" so it's hard to admit when I need help but this breakup is the toughest thing I've gone through and I lost my sister when I was 14. Guys, I thank God every night I'm in therapy and I can imagine if I was doing this alone. Please consider it. Above all remember, this feeling CANT be forever and I've personally noticed the best time in my life were following the worst times. Hang in there, it's about to get good
She reaches out all the time, and I’ve always known this would one day happen, as we did have a special bond. If she truly didn’t miss me or care she wouldn’t reach out at all.
I like this guy Craig at least he's not telling me to read his book 10 to 15 times like another relationship coach on You tube
Corey Griffin haha
I read it once 😅 but tbh it's very much similar feedback. Repetition is the mother of skill 😅 basically you learn and catch on eventually. But Craig definitely is much more human to us in terms that we can understand easier. Corey however lays the smackdown on our candy asses 😭
@@joseesquivel826 I agree. Corey knows his stuff no doubt about it and I like him a lot. However after listening him crucify people instead of showing more sympathy you start need softer approach as well. That is the reason why I listening to Craig, Love Chat, Dating Guy as well. They are much more sympathetic.
Electronite1337
Yep
I agree C W had great material but he’s far too Brutal when he shouldn’t be !
Plus it’s not easy as he says when trying too pick up
Woman
I do ok but it’s really hard work!
It’s a pain really
DG, Love chat and Craig Kenneth with Margaret are the best coaches going around
On this note
I’m thinking my Ex is getting interested 🙂
..is that what james bond would do? read the same book 10 or 15 times? c'mon dude
"Women do not contact men that they are not interested in"
THIS IS 100% TRUE.
ABSOLUTELY..
"Today, I want you to have a good day today, tomorrow, I hope you don't wake up"
hahahahahha
David Valle so funny right 😂
Interesting note about how anxiety can cause poor memory. Love these little extra bits of researched psychological knowledge you include in your videos.
Coach Craig is on point with indirect/ direct approach! I had a coaching session with him and he was straight to the point and told me the places where I messed up. He also told what I needed to do to work on myself. Me and my ex have been broken up for 3 weeks. she texted me today asking me to call her. I was thrown off guard about it, so I was joking with and asked her what it was about and all she said was please just call me. So I did, the direct part was asking me to call. The indirect part she was asking me if she can come pick up her furniture. She could had just texted me and told me she need to get her furniture. Coach Craig told me what to say and how to handle it when she came around again. So she told me that and I asked how have she has been, she said this " I'm good, and I was kinda nervous to call you." my response "why?" she said "you know" how I responded " You don't need to be nervous, so let's catch up. When are you free tomorrow?" she said " I have a job interview at 5." I said " ok, let's gets some drinks and have some appetizers. I'll pick you up at 7pm." her response "Ok, but I'm not drinking though." I asked this "look if I came by, are you going to be ready when I come by at 7?" she said " yes I will be ready, where are we going?" All I told her is that I will handle the details and not to worry about it. My situation different, and the Coach will tell you what you need to do. Thank you coach and I will keep you guys updated!
Attraction is not a choice. Good job man! What's the latest update?
Every time my ex reaches out, I always set up a date. She has done the same by asking me out too. In a sense, we are back together, but not officially. Just letting her come and go as she pleases.
Update?
THAT "I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY" GAVE ME MY FIRST GENUINE LAUGHTER IN DAYS
They might miss you or are interested, but doesn't mean they want to get back together
That’s funny, I hope you have a good day, from an ex you haven’t heard from in a year. 😂 Hearing this made my anxiety level go a bit down.
Life for us dumpees would be so much better if our ex’s tell us directly, “I miss you very much and I want to work on things together!” Wouldn’t that be a blessing?
Your right women will not call a guy if they are not interested !!
And vice versa Id say...
I just got a message a few hours ago, after weeks on and off of no contact. I say on and off because I would only reach out if they did first, like you teach. Anyway, he ignored my last reply for over a week and started taking a few things down on social media. I was fearing the worst. But out of nowhere. I get a message, almost a replica of some of the indirect-direct situations you describe. I thought at first it was a joke and he knew I'd been watching you! 😂 he asked about a shirt that I don't even think is at my house! He asked if I remember it and also said he hoped I was alright. Soo weird! I will make sure to reply soon, and not ignore him, but need to catch up on some needed sleep. Thank you very much for all these videos Craig. This one was funny too!
My ex just contacted me twice in over a year the other day. Still wrestling with if I want to respond. We were together for year and a half and we’re going to get married and then literally one night she ended the relationship with “ I can’t focus on a relationship” sounds like she found someone new and it didn’t work out. Excellent video I agree with it and you made me laugh towards the end. Definitely needed it!
True because Sunday my ex was dropping me off from church and along the ride I told him to give his mom a hug for me. He said, "you can give it to her yourself". I said I don't know where she lives. It took me until the next day to realize he was trying to ask me to come with him to visit her. I had previously mentioned wanting to come with him as he sits with her. It seems this was his indirect direct way of asking me.
luulips it was
Hearing these atrocious attempts of others to get their ex make me feel much better about my self and my situation 🤣
I applaud your professionalism while reading and responding to that email😁😁
From what I've seen, most of the people that are seeking how to get an ex back were in some type of co dependent relationship where they always were the ones that was trying to fix whatever was broken. This poor guy in this email is really suffering bad and you see that. He's reading in way more than what's really going on. I've done some of that after a break up til I gained clarity on what was really happening. It's like a sickness til you get better.
Many people who have attachment trauma use some type of unhealthy coping strategies as reality is too painful.
Often times people lie to themselves or twist reality to create a story that is less painful. Our brain can only handle so much pain before we do maladaptive strategies such as living in denial.
The best way to heal is to talk about things. A little at a time is fine. But talking about our pain is critical to our healing.
Coach Craig Kenneth
Excellent points Craig and I've done a little of this right after a break up as my own coping mechanism but not to this extent, but this guy is really suffering bad from this break up. I know now it's kinda encoded into our own survival instincts to lessen the pain and distort reality. These are great video's. I always try to learn something new.
I got a little off topic, but I thought I should point out how people are often looking for signs that an ex is coming back when it may be a distortion of what's really going on.
Then I wanted to share how when someone is usually interested again they do the Indirect/Direct approach (that's my term for it).
They also do something I call a Junkie Stunt. Which is something I haven't even discussed yet! A topic for another day lol
Coach Craig Kenneth
Yeah Craig, as I said I've kinda done some of this myself and when I watched a friend of mine go through the same thing last year, he was coming up with baseless reasons as to why he thought his ex would come back to him and as it turned out, she had been quite happy dating some new guy and it's now been two years and she's still with that guy and never contacts my friend but I tried to warn him to not get into too much expectation and delude himself as there was no evidence that she had any interest in him again but he learned the hard way. Very painful lessons we have to go through.
Coach Craig Kenneth what is the Junkie Stunt ?
Hey Craig, i can't thank you enough for what you and Margaret do. Thank you so much. I really appreciate the videos you put out. They're very insightful and inspiring.
Wow! I never really knew why I have such bad memory, as a child I have no memories what so ever unless my family tells me some short stories. my parents were usually working, I'd spend very little amount of time with my parents. now that I'm older I tend to feel empty, 2 years ago I git very attached to the boyfriend I had and one day I felt so much pain that I just wanted to drink and I started crying begging him not to leave me. I tend to ask my family if they love me because I've never really heard that growing up. it's been tough because I've had to boost up myself esteem, I belittled myself for so long and now I'm trying to work on myself. please if you ever do read this comment know that there might be plenty of people in my situation. trying to understand the why of why we are a certain way. it's not easy. please do more videos like you did your intro
Nathaly Cx I know! blew me away too
Nathaly Cx iA
Love your topics and videos. Also your personality is the best
Im getting the work books now. I have been watching your videos and taking notes. These videos have changed my life! I am now understanding myself. I admit, it is so scary discovering all of this and trying to work through it. Makes my anxiety spike!
Each person lives in their very own bubble of reality.
What about men, is an ex bf less likely to reach out eventually after they broke up with you, compared to an ex girlfriend? Would their intentions be different as a man?
I am not a professional but I do not think, that gender plays a role here. What's more important is their attachment style, I can assure you that we men also experience emotions just as you do, but we are less liek likely to show them.
MOST OF THE TIME EX BF COMES BACK WHEREAS EX GF DON'T
7:12 "I hope you are shaking your head too"
--priceless
This happened to me. My ex broke up with me about 5 months now, one day I receive a text about, how my dogs have been? And, what is the contact information for my chiropractor. I wish I would've found these videos before that happened. It really had me scratching my head.
This is unreal! I am still inclined to go with Craig says about the time limit on no contact; he makes perfect sense. My ex and I parted ways some time ago and of course, I was crushed. I mean, we had been together for 6 years and we were about to tie the knot. We are both teachers and 30 days exactly to the date, she sent me a message on Whatsapp. I have been looking at the videos, ordered the Knowledge series during my no contact period (30 days and counting) and doing the work. The old me would have instantly called her but I held out, truth be told, the message was quite bland. We are both teachers and the message contained all the dates of events related to the coming school year. I sim[ply messaged back "Thank You" and went on with the gay's business.
The only thing I'll say is it could be a test or ego boost. Mine went happy birthday, I replied thanks. Then I haven't heard anything since. If I had replied with a question I feel like that would have boosted her ego while she may be in the dating phase. Not helpful. If she really wants you back she'll do more than one attempt, I struggle with this because I want to think had I sent thanks, how have you been would she be back, but honestly she would have just lost interest altogether of anything no contact did. At least imo.
The gay's business lol
@@vtchevalierupdate?
i watch alot of shows online and never ever comment good or bad.the only reason im reaching out you said you went of topic as a bad thing i believe in everything happens for a reason and i felt i owed you a thank you for going of topic like you did of the most constructive insightful piece of information ive heard, dont ever apologize for helping out you do a great service
i love your facial expression whilst reading that email lol
my ex just texted me again- he sends me a "Good Morning "and that he was thinking of me, because he hauled a jeep to an auction...I was like how does he know I am looking to soon get a suv...strange!
Craig great point on the unhealthy stress/coping skills mechanisms and their effects on relationship. This is totally me I believe with my ex. My ability to deal with problem and controlling me stress mechanism to what she said to me. I didn't like it and I bursting out, which lead to her telling me to pack my things and take them with me. This lead to me not dealing or listening to what she was asking or telling me. I left and she broke up with me. If I just settled down and listen to what she was saying things would be different I feel.
Coach Craig , Can you do a video on more in -depth attachment styles please? What causes avoidance style n anxious style is what I'd like to know. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this, Craig. I've often wondered why I have so few memories from childhood :(
My ex reached out last week. Said she was stalking my profiles and dating profile. She’s missed me everyday and wanted to catch up. We talked about things. She said she thinks she made the right decision. I said I respect her decision but I disagree, I told her why. I think she realized she screwed up. She asked if she can reach out again. I think I screwed up saying I don’t want it to turn into breadcrumbing and can’t just be friends with her. If she has intent behind her reach out I’m open to it. I shouldn’t have been worrying about the future and just the present moment.
Coach, she said she's coming over today to show me her new "dog". lol
I’m in the acceptance stage. Still watching these videos though 😂
Not sure about anyone else but if any of my ex's try to contact me all they get is CRICKETS !
If you cheated on your ex I really hope that they NEVER want you again. 😊
Last contact with exgf was a Death Threat because I was waiting at a public park which was close to her apt. It was also where I waited for my Daughter to call me to pick her up at her place! I didn't know either so I filed a police report...
She called me exactly when you mentioned direct...
My ex spouse of 13 years has been texting me on every holiday, including my birthday for the past couple of years. I was like....what???.....okay.....hmmmm. They had even got married and divorced since our divorce. We had three children together which are all grown. From dating and marriage a total of 26 years together. I filed for the divorce because of their infidelity. What else can I make of this behavior?
Wow. I loved what you said about A.D.D. Makes a lot of sense.
They will send a confusing text either because they are testing the waters and really want to get back with the one they left, or some who just want to keep holding, controlling their exes's feelings just like a puppet in their hands. Then when the poor other becomes gullible and jumps on it, the ex plays cold again.
Beginning of this video, as someone who was adopted relationships in general are hard and the family i was adopted into is by far from close so reaching out and trying to befriend people is incredibly hard and ex's are tough because when you do finally connect with someone it's a massive attachment phase and psych re-evaluation that takes place. Thank you for this video man, good stuff you''re helping clear the fog up
I do think you need to go on with what causes us to react or respond when it comes to losing memory because of anxiety and reasons why we lose relationships. You are not getting off subject many have no idea why relationships go south.
Good info so far
Mine says he told his little boy we broke up and how sad the little one is about it. Then he mentioned trying to make something that I used to make but it wasn't very good.
I'm not sure but I think he's reaching out and saying 'Don't go' but I'm not sure why. The stuff about his son is manipulation.
If an ex girlfriend sends a blank text message to you, is that a sign that she is interested again?
I emailed my ex to see if he would respond. He responded in 2 minutes. I guess he has feelings still.
What are the signs that guys are interested
It’s small but I block him on Instagram
when we first broke up and he wants to add me again. Keep the faith. This is post three months and one month of no contact and yes, he is seeing someone!!! I’m so happy. This might not mean anything (breadcrumbs), not going to reach out but it’s something
My ex did that approch many times even with "I miss you" texts but nether come back when I bit. And I did'nt bite evey time because I knew that even though she talking like that she would't back it up with actions
Watching this video because I am generally lost and a very scared with my Ex lol
We have been texting since she broke NC, but things got weird. She got vague, kept snapping and getting angry if she thought I was with someone or if I didn't reply quickly (She is also in another relationship). I got very sick and fell asleep and woke up to my phone blown up her angry at me for not texting - I told her I was asleep, and that I called a friend to come over to take me shopping for food and medicine (a female friend). I posted on snapchat us having fun and chilling, then she blew up even more getting very angry. I tried asking whats wrong, but now she is ignoring me and so I have to step back too.
Anxiety sucks. I want to text her more, but I have to stop. I did spam her a bit too much, so I need to control myself and stay strong. She hasn't blocked me on anything-- yet-- so here is to hopping. She knows I love her and everything, so I hope she comes around eventually. If anyone of you are reading this and are in a similar situation, I hope my small story gives you guys guidance, and DONT SPAM YOUR EX for the LOVE OF GOD! lol :D
i find your video's and topics very comforting. i still would like to see one, what if you work with your ex video.
Your tangent on anxiety and memory loss made so much sense to me!! I have GAD and very selective memory. I had no idea my anxiety is what could be affecting my memory. Interesting 🤔
My wife left 2 months ago and yesterday she told me she loved and missed me and grabbed my hand. She said she has to figure stuff out. I just told her she's my wife till she isn't and I don't believe in temporary marriages but I'm not going to wait forever, it isn't fair to me or to her. Not sure what her reasoning of telling me that ,, other than making me hold on, especially telling me last week she didn't want to give me hope.
Very interesting perspective on ADD. It actually makes a whole lot of sense.
About a month into no contact, mine texted me about a hoodie i had at his house. Then we met up, he gave it to me and we talked for about an hour. A few days later he texted me that he also found a pair of hello kitty socks of mine and he needs to help me clean out my trunk before i leave for vacation. Lol what 😂
How can you not laugh at a delusional email like that? 😂😂😂 I admire your empathy and control to take this seriously!
Mr Craig you are an amazing couch I wish I could afford you $ 😂 thank you for sharing this clips have helped me a lot👍
Today is the day!! 😅 that was hilarious
I shut down and just Ghosted out. It was easier to run away and not deal with it then to stay and suffer the loss.
I’m cursed with memory. I remember everything.if she had wanted to know me she would have contacted me. You never get over it but you have to get used to it.
Oh my gosh!! Craig - are these real letters? (not insinusting you being untruthful!!) I just can't believe someone would be so deluded!!!
Saying that though, one of my exes insisted on not returning one of my favourite dresses just because I didn't want to be with him.
He still has it after two years (I am hoping he's thrown it away & not sleeping next to it! 🙄).
Wow...mental health is paramount.
Another great video.
I love this video I try it with my relationship and it works thanks coach Craig fantastic job
What about MEN??
Do men contact there ex again only if he's interested?
I wish u would have said this also in this video....
Thanks for your expertise Craig
😉 always appreciate your insight to the fullest
Gin B
Yes we men will contact our ex’s if we like them 👍🏻
make a video where kids are involved, because it gets more complicated since you have to see the ex, and knowing if they are seeing someone new because you just can't avoid it. it's harder to move on because we just don't get that break, I know for a fact it would be easier if we didn't have kids so that way I'd stay away from her.
I have a similar situation! it is so challenging, and frustrating.
Me too - I have to see her almost every day as we work opposite shifts & share childcare. Video please
On a light note ,I think your attractive
lol thanks :P
Spot on...
On the memory.
Thank you for solving this mystery for me.
This has always bother
Blessings
Thats crazy . My ex always used to tell me i have to get checked cus i would always forget stuff
Reema Reema im Great thank you for offering lol
Have recently stumbled upon your videos. I have been following a different program and am so so worried I have ruined my chances of getting my guy back. I truly hope that through your videos I can try and reset things...
My ex did a few of the things your talking about she contacts me once a month every 20 days or so. A lot of messages are confusing but recently today she sent me a i hope you had. A good 4th of July so I guess she misses me. Thank you for the advice. Craig out of all the coach’s I have watched you really make the most sense
Guys i dont know if I'm getting indirect message from my ex....
Long story short we broke up a 7 weeks ago, been together 4 years. She left not understanding i was depressed. And thought the symptoms i was getting from it was me just being lazy in the relationship. So she thought i wasn't putting in effort when i was very depressed due to being overworked at work and mistreated
Now she emailed me yesterday. She's a singer. I am a videographer. She emailed to ask if we can do another music video together. As we hoped each other out like that a lot. We were a great team.
Which she also stated in the email. The email looked rushed. A lot of grammar mistakes.
And on her insta story. I see she recorded a song about me... "I really miss your company, I'm thinking about what we could be...."
Is this indirect or she giving me hidden messages? Like I'm not distorting reality. Like if she wants to reach out she should. But like Graig mentioned women don't want rejection and she may feel vulnerable
“Tomorrow I hope you don’t wake up” 😂😂😂
hey craig thnx 4 all you do for me.. my girlfriend broke up with me a month ago
after following your channel i started to see that why she left was my own fault
i neglected her placed her in a trofy closet and expected this would work out with a bit of pollishing some time...
in the mean time i am struggeling with my self and my past problems (not an excuse to neglect her)
she came all the way from napoli (itali) to my home town in holland after 2 times meeting up we where so in love that we started a relation maby to fast without knowing each other...
and i never made her feel at home ore apriciated her for what she had done..she left everything for me to be with me and then i behave like i dont apriciate it... cause i was to bussy with everything that was happening in my life plus the fast move to start living togheter made me build a wall for her..
now here is the thing
she started dating some one 2/3 weeks after the break up.
i acted like a fool after i found it out by myself she was dating some one i knew
we stil have contact but i hold a bit distant, but alsow when we meet we talk openly friendly calm and look at each other as if we want each other
but still she says i have to just move on and let her go
and now last monday i had to tattoo her and we spoke about what went wrong and about our feelings
the talk went realy good we laught we had fun the whole evening
but now i dont know how to read her signals..
do i need to take steps before i blow it ore should i take it slow and stay "friends"
so we can try to build new foundations
there are a lot of details that shows she still cares and still loves me
she even has and walks still in my hoodys, and yesterday she wanted to borrow them after she was here and needed to go home in the cold so i lent her that... just to be a gentleman..
you can understand that this all is driving me crazy for over a month now cause i dont know how to read the signals
i am holding strong knowing that i need to be strong and i need to start to work on myself and my behavior towards people
its a dificult sitiuation and i am a bit hopeless
could you Craig ore anyone else.. please help me out with a comment ?
Love the idea - considering that ADD is a coping mechanism
What if they ask for time and space but in the mean time they're talking to another guy who they think they are interested in.
Thank you for going off topic in the beginning there. :) I have anxiety and attention deficiencies and your explanation has me thinking about a lot of things.
My ex contacted after 14 days of NC. She wanted to let me know my ex-wife was selling things on yard sale sites. She attached a screen shot of the add. I just replied thanks for letting me know. Then a few days later she sent another text regarding the same thing and she asked for her things back. I told her I was busy and I’d get them to her when I could. Then after a few more days she text me about her things again. I called her and we talked for a few minutes. Nothing serious, just small talk. Then the next day she sends my a video of her bird and her dog. I text back that I miss them. She didn’t reply. The day after that I get a text with a screenshot of the movie Fern Gully with the caption best movie ever. It was a movie we watched together a few days before we broke up. I responded with yes, it’s a good movie, but I’m more of a lion king man myself. She did not respond. So my question would be where those indirect direct approaches? Why would she feel the need to tell me my exwife was having a yard sale? Why would she send me a pic of the dog a bird and then the next day a memory of a movie we watched? Also should I contact her to give her her things back or wait until she asks again? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
You remind me of Tim Tebow especially in your thumbnails. Haha
Your face when you're reading the letter...omg so hilarious 😂👍👍👍
Must not feel that bad if he cheated on her. I get that people aren’t perfect and everyone is different, but having the balls to initiate the act and go all the way through. He must not really cared for her nor care for the consequences that the outcome might bring in the future. I do believe he needs some serious help tho...
You have so much patience with your clients. Wow, this one did make me chuckle a bit, but yeah, sometimes people have great intentions and are simultaneously delusional about where they are at in the personal growth department. Very tactful and empathetic on an issue that is hard to be empathetic with.
Hey Craig! I watch your videos all the time and they have done me wonders! My ex and I broke up 3 months ago and I am 25 days NC. We were together for three years and lived together for most of it. These last few days he’s been having causal conversation with my sister (but didn’t talk about me) After three days of talking to my sister He then texted me and said I had a piece of mail at his house. Is that considered a indirect message? I don’t want to misinterpret.
Hi Craig. I love your videos. Can you please do a video on how to tell if a ex is playing mind games
What about men? My ex texts me about once a week. Interested or just checking in? So hard to tell..
I would like to know the same thing.
I also would like to know this lol how did it pan out for you?
I want to be Petty right now...my ex broke up with me less than a week ago. I went into nc...today he texted me "how are you". It wasn't a bad break up. Actually he was a gentleman about it. I gave him his space, didn't beg or cry...I blocked him from social media, and left him with my dignity intact. He KNOWS I am a good woman...well, again, I wanted to be Petty and not respond to his lame ass text, I waited a couple of hours to respond. I texted him that I was doing well and asked him how he was doing. He responded...that's it. Back into no contact!!! I want dude to feel my pain dammit!!!!Am I wrong???
@@tuliposensa yes. I discovered he was a textbook narcissist. I left him alone and spent a yr and a half single. I got closer to God and did a great amt of self reflection. Well fast fwd to my current status...I am now engaged since 2 days before valentines day to a man I've known for yrs. His core is amazing and he is selfless. I thank God for him
Craig.hate to repeat myself but Men don't contact women they're not interested in either..both the same..love you..your'e so smart and so charming.thank you for these priceless videos.
Barbara Kelly
Yep it’s true
I won’t contact someone I’m not interested in either and I certainly wouldn’t have playful banter texting
What if she's in a new relationship but keeps contacting you? Do I still ask to meet up with her?? Im so confused!
I mean some part of this videos are better than comedy 🤣🤣🤣
Wrong: women contact men (exes) for many reasons: to understand and know what errors to avoid repeating such errors with future guys, or bc they're genuinely worried about the ex, or bc the ex has a skill /expertise in a specific domain, or simply to be friends (exes can make the best of friends esp for advice on new relationship, since they know you and your blindspots). I'm in touch with many of my exes, tho none are American. Simply put bc they think you can still enrich one another's life even in a non sexual manner. But it only works if both parties agree to became friends. The "have a good day" one yr later's funny, must be an American thing...How did the man react?
I’m an anxious man making the transition to a more secure attachment style and my ex gf is avoidant. We broke up right before New Years and she said that there’s now way to make things better between us. After 6 days of not reaching out to her, she texted me saying she wanted to meet up to return some of my things. (I’m thinking this is the “indirect direct approach”) We couldn’t meet up the day she texted me because we both had schedule conflicts, but I told her to just let me know when she’s available again. Is this a sign she’s done, or wants to give me another chance?
I’m glad I’m not these people
What about: Hey, how are you? and the kids? is this indirect direct?
HAHAHAHAH .. "what about the 365 days before today , today's the day " lost it at that part :D:D you crack me up Craig, its been a month as of the 15th of no contact and im working hard on moving on , its been touch but these videos have really gotten me through , thank you sir! :)
Yesterday I got a misdirected message, followed by an "I'm sorry that was for my cousin..." text. I sent a thumbs up back. After 7 months and not one misdirected text from him, what are the chances this was on purpose? I haven't dwelt on it too much, but I am interested in what others here think about it... And even Coach Craig's thoughts if he sees this....
Hi Craig, I need the kind of help you offer. Do you take insurance?
what about MEN? my ex keeps getting back in touch this way, feels like MONTHLY and THIS TIME I am not going to screw it up and blow up his phone lol
Could thinking your ex is still interested in knowing you a distorted thought?
Craig what do think about the “wrong person” text? After she left me a message on my wall on my birthday I ran into her coming out of Walmart a week later. She said my name a few times and when I turned around it seemed like she was really happy to see me. We said hi to each other and talked a litttle bit the went on our way. A few days later I got a text from her. It was a screenshot of directions only for her to realize 4 hours later she realized she sent it to the wrong person. A part of me says she did it on purpose. What do you think? Is she interested again?
My ex reached out! He asked me to go get him some WhiteClaw after 2months of no-contact
Do you help women or just men?