Exes Come Back When You Ignore Them
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 พ.ย. 2018
- Why Exes Come Back When You Ignore Them. There is a lot of advice out there that suggests you should ignore your ex after a breakup. Some suggest that you should not reply back for 30 days. Some suggest that you should ignore for a different amount of time. But what does Craig suggest? Find out Craig's thoughts on if exes come back after you ignore them.
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hi craig is it possible for two amxious ,avoidant people to work out? or is it a,waste of time?
Hey Craig good evening I love ur coach and it make redirect myself after breaking no contact rule..I saw many coaches online who says I have to ignored my ex for one month even though she contacted me and I did DAT..my ex text me she miss me four days after she brokeup wit me and I ignored her and I contacted her 30 days after that but she did not reply my message.
Craig My ex unblocked me from whastapp after 1 month and 10 days of being blocked.. 5 days before her bday. Did she want me to wish her happy bday? Was it a test to see if i remembered and still cared? Or just to reinforce her ego if i did? I almost texted her but everyone told me not to so i contained myself..but now i live in regret a week later..thinkin she was maybe giving me a chance to talk to her..but now i lost it for good.. thoughts?
Look, go NC immediately for many reasons. 1) So you don’t say the wrong things and burn bridges you may need to cross later. 2) So you don’t look desperate/clingy...bc humans being what they are will either not give a shit or take advantage of it. 3) Your ex broke up with you, so they deserve no more of your time. 4) This will re-attract your ex if there’s still hope. People are intrigued by mystery and selfish in nature so when they don’t hear about you they will want back in your life. 5) Finally and most importantly, it’s about healing yourself. Have the attitude of “either they’ll return or they won’t” but don’t wait on them. You may miss the moon while waiting on the stars.
My ex unblocked me from whastapp after 1 month and 10 days of being blocked.. 5 days before her bday. Did she want me to wish her happy bday? Was it a test to see if i remembered and still cared? Or just to reinforce her ego if i did? I almost texted her but everyone told me not to so i contained myself..but now i live in regret a week later..thinkin she was maybe giving me a chance to talk to her..but now i lost it for good.. thoughts?
J J My opinion says it was a test. You did good by staying NC and letting her reach out. Sometimes women do that just to see if you’re still available for them...and the minute you start whining you lose them again. She might have wanted the birthday wishes, to see if you remember, but if she was reaching out hoping to reunite she would have opened up to you and made that obvious. Listen to your gut.
Good luck and stay NC. As a man, you must be emotionally stronger than her. If she still loves you she will cave man. If not, you may not even care in a few months and might be someone better for you.
unguided728 Don’t do it. You should make a conscious decision avoid anywhere she might be for awhile until you’re strong enough.
this is 101, thanks for the reminder
awesome words
I’ll never let an ex back, unless they work for it, if you ‘dumped me’ you best believe you gonna regret it. Ain’t no how you been bullshit, give it back to them as they left you, probably entertaining other people. They ain’t shit anymore.
This ain’t it chief
If you love someone let them go. If its ment to be, they'll come back!
Truee!🙂
True.
He has left once two years ago the reach at two months. Then dissapeared for two more months. This time, it was me who broke up on July 3rd. He was living a double life. He having dinner with her once a week. He sleep at her house every other Saturday. While I was sleeping at his house 4 and 5 nights a week.
I walked out on him; he didn't reach. I reached on August 12. He has moved from his house is changing jobs. After talking with him. He said there were things he need it to have time to think. I figure he is full of it!
Craig can you do a video on what to do whem your ex is cheating? Specially from a woman point of view. He is an avoidant attachment style.
@@aliceallmon2409 walk away u don't need that in your life.
If you love someone let them go, if they come back let them go again cause nobody else wants them either.
Most of you guys sound insanely desperate. I’ll tell you what isn’t right..
#1) Stop allowing someone to have that much power over you.
Even If you was the one that messed up by not caring for her?
@@Drewcipha What should you do, If you was the one who messed up the relationship?
@@Drewcipha I was dealing with some personal issues and went cold on her and everybody for like 2 or 3 weeks. I eventually came back, and Skype her, apologized like a man, told her that now I see I should had done better and that It wasn't because her or It wasn't because I was messing with other chicks. She said she thought I was with another female. I said no, that I went cold on even my own family. She said ok, then cut our convo short and told me she will call me back and never did. So after a week, I texted her and she was cold and took forever to text me back. Now she on a vacation to her hometown In Dominican Republic. She hadn't call me or texted me, but like a pic or 2 on my Facebook. Last we texted was the next day when she left on her trip, I wished her a safe flight and to have fun out there, she replied 3 days later with a 😘 emoji. What you think I should do?.....This girl was so Into me before that, she would answer my text or calls right away, and even told me she wanted to be my girlfriend and have a relationship, all before I went cold.
@@Drewcipha Thank you brother. She video chatted with me like 3 times yesterday. Which was cool, the only thing Is that she was drinking, so I dont know If It was Just the liquor talking. I have done the same when drinking to other females that I wasn't Interested. For now, I will sit back and wait and see where she Is at. I've learned alot from this situation and looking forward to my future dating experiences. Thanks for all your Input brother!
@@Drewcipha my girlfriend broke up and told me it's over by text, it's been really hard, I keep texting her over and over, she said she doesn't want a relationship or to get married. And told me she hasnt changed her mind. Kind of think there might be someone else.. she 41 and u emotional attached
Best advice is to fall in love with someone else and really ignore them. Then they always coming back
I think the issue isn’t whether they’ll come back - a lot of people do - it’s more that 1) they do it when it’s too late and you’ve finally moved on and don’t want them back and 2) it’s often complete rubbish and for selfish reasons, consciously or not. I think sometimes (and not even deliberately) they just wanna see they have power over you still and that you don’t hate them, which is the message you convey if you reply sometimes. Especially me as I’m unlikely to ignore somebody because that’s my nature and I think it’s rude to ignore. My problem is how to navigate contact after since I hate this grey area crap. I get they’re afraid of rejection but I’d have more respect for a straight up ‘I miss you and I made a mistake, if there’s any chance for us, would you meet me for a coffee so we can talk things over’. I’m far more likely to reply to that than some innocuous ‘hey hope your cat is good’ or something since I’d be sceptical of that. Anyone agree with me or am I alone in thinking that lol
I think the relationship really dies when the person who got dumped finally moves on. Because once the dumpee moves on, like you said, they don't want their ex back because they have grown and developed so much as a person because of the break up. The saddest part of a break up is knowing that in order to get your ex back, you need to move on... But when you move on, you won't want them back.
@@gmoney5173 its a shame
James Cavanaugh SPOT. ON.
It is really sad. Because deep down we all know, that when we move on, we won’t want them back.
But that is our best option. It’s the best option for our own well-being.
I think "hey hope your cat is good" etc is them testing the water/saying sorry I'm trying to see if you're still mad/if we can reconcile without them bruising their ego tbh
I agree
is she says she needs space .. YOU GIVE HER SPACE . she left you .. and if she really wants you , she will come back . and once she contacts you , the ball is in your court. if she doesn't respond .. MOVE ON ..
My ex unblocked me from whastapp after 1 month and 10 days of being blocked.. 5 days before her bday. Did she want me to wish her happy bday? Was it a test to see if i remembered and still cared? Or just to reinforce her ego if i did? I almost texted her but everyone told me not to so i contained myself..but now i live in regret a week later..thinkin she was maybe giving me a chance to talk to her..but now i lost it for good.. thoughts?
@@ch1bob let it be and contain yourself .If she ever decides to want to be with you or see you ,trust me she will let you know. She probably needs to cut ties completely now . What would you get talking to her ? It wouldn't change anything . Only time will tell. Meanwhile ,take care of yourself . Stop thinking of her and what she is doing and with who. Im in the situation right now. 6 weeks now . Im being strong and letting it be . She will contact you if things ended up in a non fighting way. LET HER GO .
@@dimicaimano5734 non fighting way? Things ended with her mad at me for contacting a friend of hers asking about her and also because i sent her a cake with a written letter
Is that fighting?
@@ch1bob Its not fighting , but it will upset her or show weakness from your part if you speak to her friends ,family and so on. You are also disrespecting her by speaking to her friends. Be strong and pull away. If you keep on doing this she will never get a chance to miss you.
I did the no contact for about a week.. he was the one that broke up with me, he wanted “space” and didn’t know if he really wanted to be with me. And even talked to another girl online. . I gave him what he wanted.. and did the no contact. I was actually surprised that he started reacting to it right away. He was the one texting me but I did not ignore.. I also kept it very short. After a few says passed he finally realized he couldn’t live without me. And dropped the other person as well. It worked for me super fast.
Are you still together
Amazing!! This is very inspirational. Congratulations!
Men tend to come back faster than women. Most Girls will date a few guys before even giving their ex a chance again.
Kisses😘
Lucky u
My friends and family were quite good giving me an advice. They told me not to reach to my ex and wait if she reaches out to me. They advised me not to beg and just be cool about break-up. I wish you good friends and good advises coming from them :))
Craig you're the man ! The way you explain in details awesome keep up the great work!
Great info as always coach, didn't have a choice but to watch this one, as my ex had been reading out, but with nothing of substance. It's been just a selfie or a meme here and there, even after I told her to not contrast me if she wasn't willing to talk. Not sure how willing I am to get back with her, so I don't think that its worth a coaching session, but it really does show all the nuances with everybody's personal situations.
It’s been 3 weeks since we broke up, 17 days NC. I’ve been applying to a ton of jobs, learning new things like playing chess, trying to keep my room clean, follow through with tasks, doing things without any arguing with my parents, been walking my dog with my mom everyday to build a stronger bond, talking to more friends, etc. At this point, I’m not desperate for him and know I deserve the best. I did feel like he was my soulmate but I’ve seen things he’s doing that idk if I like anymore. So I’m like “if he comes back, then great. If not, I’m okay!!”
How you doing now?
@@DrewTyler15 we’re back together 😂 doing great now. No contact really works. I did it twice and he came back every time
@@anairaham Wow wasn't expecting that! Happy for you
Craig i think this is one of your best videos. thanks
Yup, clean slate msg definitely didn't work. Neither did anything else. All left is to try move on. Being ignored when you're trying to repair something sucks.
Never works
I think I saw something about 30-60-90 day no contact for completely getting over someone. Not for solving issues, but actually removing them from your life
Yes they do !!! To a certain extent Mine still playing games I see she had many issues as well takes two can only check yourself and discipline one self. My life and myself is my priority it was hard. Thanks coach Craig
Been 4 weeks of no contact. I'm really hard but improving day by day.
I think I am in 2 weeks NC since our last email (LDR), it sucks. Keeping a positive attitude, though I do not want to hope.
Thank you. I needed this support tonight.
This video was great! So helpful! Thank you!!
LOVE THE EXAMPLE OF TURNING IT AROUND
I don’t ignore my ex because we have a child together. Second I want to stay on her subconscious mind. So go ghost and work on yourself. Within weeks they will contact you I promise. That’s IF they still care and love you. Even if they moved on and started dating immediately.
Update? Are you guys back together
Thank you for teaching me.
Regardless if my ex comes back or not, this will be the best free advice available to me right now
If they’re already having sex with other people why even want them back …A lot of times they come back to see if they can keep you on the line too. Will put you through cycles of abuse.
I’d ignore and move on.
Great advise sir.
Thanks million , hope this video helps me lot 🙏💐
An ex of mine returned after 5 years of no contact. He had left me for another woman with whom he spent several years. Now I have another ex but he is a long distance one, and left me for another woman who lives near his home. This time I'm hopeless as he is so far away...but you never know! The only thing I can say is that the first ex returned when I accepted we would never meet again ....and surprisingly he appeared madly in love...and goes on in love with me, or so he says :D
Victoria Nike I recently had an ex contact me and pursue me after 4 years of zero contact. She thought I hated her, but I didn’t. I never stopped loving her, I just walked away and let her go. I never imagined I’d see her again. We hit it off, it was incredible. We were so in love and for a while I was still in shock that she was back in my life. I assumed I’d never see or hear from her again. You have to let them go and if and when they feel like they let something special go, they WILL come back.
Nothere Justhere I wish there was a happy ending...she recently ended things after about 5 months. She moved in and I don’t think we were ready, it only lasted 3 weeks and I came home from work one day and all her things were gone and she left me a note saying she’s sorry for doing this to me again....I’m sorry fir the ending lol but the initial part can help people still
In my case the ex who returned and I have become f***friends. He is trying to make me forget the other guy, the long distance one (I still miss him and cry a lot). Ex# 1 usually says to me: 'Why do you cry? Remember how much you cried long ago? What was the use of that? I'm right by your side mad about you!' So the best thing, as J Brazo says, is to let them go...probably they will come back! Good luck everybody! :D
I wouldn’t consider taking a man back who left me for another woman. His cycle will most likely continue and he’ll leave you heart broken and alone again. People treat us the way we allow them to treat us. Don’t give either of them the chance to come back into your life and disrespect you again. Recognize your worth. They made their choice to leave. Let them both live with it.
I’m going through a divorce after being married for 7+ years and she was all mine as I was her first love and first everything. You guys provide me with hope and if letting go is the best thing for them to come back, at this point what’s there to lose.
I didn’t want the divorce but obviously it only takes one to divorce another. No amount of begging or pleading got me anywhere. No amount of trying to get her to seek the lord with me or going through marriage counseling worked for her and she’s in the mindset of following her heart and giving up on me and our marriage.
To add, there was no infidelity, not lying, no gambling, no addiction to porn, sex life was amazing, but my one flaw, I said hurtful things that I didn’t mean in only SOME (not all) arguments we had over some petty stuff.
She’ll say all sorts of stuff like my mental issues being the problem as she doesn’t want our kids to develop them through genetics, having no unity(which is a lie), and not being compatible (which how are we not compatible if we’ve been together for 7+ years and we’re madly in love once before this process). I feel compatibly is thrown around like candy yet just because you have some different likes doesn’t mean your not compatible such as her liking country music and I like metal. I swear she would say we’re not compatible after just different music tastes.
Anyways, it’s good to hear you guys get your lives back. Hopefully the love is stronger the second time around and you live happily together forever.
Trust me Guru, you convinced me like no one else.
Just focus on yourself whether they come back or not. don't put your happiness on others
its a very very helpful video...thank u craig
Could you guys do a video on rebuilding trust in a relationship after lying. Thanks!
This please!
Yes bc while the person broke up with you they’re creating other soul-ties with additional partners so where do they go once we get back together? These “soul ties!”
It’s been 5 weeks since the break up and while I don’t want to move on in case she comes back, I’m resorting to finally letting go because the pain is just too much to bear. Holding onto hope has made me see things as good signs when really they weren’t. Idk if she’ll come back but if I put my life on hold any longer idk how much longer I can hold onto my life. I don’t feel better at all, each day is harder and harder. Hopefully she realizes that she made a huge mistake.
Another great video! Sheesh!
I love your channel!
I RESPECT HIS BOUNDARIES BECAUSE IM STILL PRAYING FOR HIS WELL BEING. IM CONCERNED.
My feelings are turning towards anger towards my ex. I think I will hold a grudge if she sleeps with someone.
This is part of the grieving process. This too shall pass.
They always do
If you are sleeping with other people you should know your ex has the power of choice to sleep with others.
You aren't together. Take it on the chin.
Your ex is 100% sleeping with someone else. Get over it. They slept with others before you too
If? Come on, man. It’s in their DNA to sleep around. They jump from bed to bed, create collateral damage, and don’t give a crap how it affects you.
Gotta say, I totally understand what you mean when you say don’t listen to your friends and family. I’m currently going through a bit of a break up and one friend suggested I turn up at her work (having ignored me), and another [female] friend suggested we hook up and she be my rebound🙃 Craig Kenneth, I will do everything you say. No doubt about it.
Hahah, it’s funny. I just bumped into that (male) friend and he asked how my situation is going. I said it’s been 3 weeks tomorrow since we’ve spoken. He said “nope. Leave her be. It’s over. She won’t come back.”
I’m so glad I found this channel🥲
repent and come to the Lord Jesus Christ, the pleasures of this world are nothing compared to the bliss of God
I love this channel ! Its helping me to get through my breakup that happened recently... I made a mistake and I reached out first after he broke up with me..I know the breakup was my fault ..Now its been a week since no contact and i am wondering if he will ever reach out as i really want hom back..:(
Ignoring an ex works like a charm!
I gotta tell you my ex and I broke up 7 months ago. We went no contact between 4 months. I still love him and we are going to take things slow. Your the best, you and Margaret and Victoria.
I did the pushing away after I felt a disconnection when I first started seeing him I felt our bond it was deep a few days later he stopped texting me and didn’t respond until I accused him and lowering my worth I even sent him sad song too then I sent him paragraphs texts on the red flags I saw . this all started when I got to demanding asking him in the beginning too get rid of his options if he had any . He ignored me for another 2 days to me it was cause I kept bringing up my past didn’t give us a chance .. but he never told me that when he first started feeling that way so by the time he did I sent out a lot of sad and kinda begging texts blocked him on social media unblocked him so finally after the text with the red flag give away he told me goodnight with sad 😔 face and I never heard from him again this . Do cause I just wanted emotional clarity that I was the only girl he was talking too. I miss him and want to work things out with him. I have been on NC since last Friday I’m sad 😔 it’s making gain weight even tho I don’t eat much and only thing keeping my mind sane and feeling more hopeful is these video .. please wish me luck that it will turn around someday .. I’m my heart and in my mind constantly .
Hey Craig, helpful video once again :) could you make a follow up video or something, about what to do if you have ignored your ex?
For example, I have received several messages from my ex since the break up and replied to most of them, although once after a week or two of ignoring him. He ignored me sometimes as well, but always ended up sending me a message, even one about an item of clothing. However I recently ignored his last message as I was just too low to respond, and had no idea what to say etc.. but now I'm starting to experience lots of anxiety again and worry about what to do.!
My ex broke up with me, but still calls me every couple of days. She wants to continue talking to me. However, she has made it clear that she does not want me back and has even been encouraging me to date/hook up with women. She doesn't understand why we can't just chat it up every now and then. She has always been the one to reach out post breakup and I've been nice to her each time. I am hurting and I do want her back, but I feel like my only option at this point is to ignore her so that she actually misses me and sees what it's like without me. I've made it clear that if she ever wants to talk about things she can reach out and I'll listen.
How did this turn out? I'm right there right now
It’s funny how we program ourselves. The more mistakes you make, the more power you give her and the more attraction you self generate for her. If you do things right, it literally makes your neediness for her not as high.
It really feels like playing someone in poker and losing your cool. The more tilty you get, the worse your game, the bigger hail marries you throw.
Completely ignoring them is like refusing to play, go all in and they’ll likely fold.
The key is to keep getting them to slowly put in chips (I.e. investment)
I agree with not ignoring, but its a 2 way street. To reach out to you, you reply and they start playing again?? Then yes, ill ignore and move on..
Global that is similar to what i am feeling. Don’t want to be stuck in limbo land or worse yet... the friend zone. So hard!
@@sherrytee4077 yes
Same here. My ex reached out then started ignoring me. At that point I told her that if she gets the urge to contact me again that she should never even consider it.
@@ZukoTheShinigami Should I ignore her during no contact if the reason for break up was the lack of attention from me?
@@cipryan96 thats a diff case , you may wana respond but nothing to indicate you still care. Keep her guessing
What if you are doing NC and they reach out with a TH-cam link about a common interest you both had? Does that deserve a response? I had heard from different coaches that unless it's something substantial that you should not reply to it.
It’s been 5 months now & still I hope we can reconcile...🙏🏻❤️
It's not been quite as long for me, but it feels so difficult still feeling this way😕
It's been one month for me 😭😔 and I genuinely want to know what do I do after no contact or no reaching out....like what I mean is if or when he reaches out to me what if he tells me he just wants to still only be friends :'( it has been so hard and I'm just watching these videos looking for the answer to that.... like what if after more time he just does not want me and ...idk...I'm sorry I'm just so lost and torn😔💔
... still no contact at all... it's been two months :(
J C it’s now 6 months
3 months here, not easy but moving forward and working extremely hard on myself. changed so much, working on maintaining that change.
The “30 day ignore” is a child’s game bro
He doesn't say ignore
No it's not childish if u educate yourself it's about healing self respect and he may realize if not that's ok too but begging him didn't work
@@carmensmith1453 facts
Response to : Ex's Come back when You Ignore them. Thankyou Craig! Your a " Very" Sweet and Sensitive Man and Psychologist. And You and Martha are " both" Kind and Compassionate and " Intellegent". This Video makes sense, Alot of Sense! Yes Alot of Video's say to do the "30-90" Days of No Contact You and another Man advice this is Not good to ReAttract. And then may find Someone else. And I like the Example of the Guy who plays it " Cool" instead of being " Controlling". Once he has her back in a " Relationship" that Jealous, Controlling " True" side is likely to Reappear and this is when She may Disappear. But if he plays it Cool at times he may keep her interest. But he should be Very Caring too. This Video is " Very" Good! Thankyou!! It makes sense. I " Love" You and Martha's Video's. Their Educational. Thankyou!! These help Alot of People who hesr Alot of " Very" Bad Advice on You Tube or Social Media or by their Imature Friend's. I was talking to an Ex and I was Getting Close. I was Texting long texts. My Ex did Not like the Emotional, long texts. So now I text much Shorter and now my Ex has been getting " Closer". At this point I would be Happy just to be " Froend's". But pulling back some is a " Good" idea. And get busy with Your life and Your Friend's.
I ignored my ex afraid of it being a bread crumb, and now haven’t heard anything else. I am starting to regret following other coaches advice about ignoring unless they say something significant
Yeah, you've got to go for it and set a date, that's how you avoid bread crumbing
@@rwentfordable
I decided that I don’t him back. He did try to contact me from a fake profile though
I've now blocked my ex after three years of hoping he wanted me back. So glad I did. He went back to his ex but kept reaching out as friends whenever he felt like it and using me for emotional support. I'm worth more than that.
Know your worth for sure!!
You was the rebound, he used you to get back with her, sorry to have to say this.
oof so he went back to the wrong ex
My ex has been reaching out after 2 months of NC but she’s been texting cliche texts like “how are you” and even asking for the answers to a test, which I gave to her, I felt used so when she called me 2 weeks ago, I ignored her call, she texted my mom saying she loves me but I’m better off without her, she said the same thing to a mutual friend she met because of me, I fear she won’t reach out
When you've binge watched Craig's videos and recite the beginning each time, knowing your attachment trauma having self is about to learn. I think the thing is that most of us just get breadcrumbs. I'm in INC since my ex cheated and left me, but I am very curious about the trajectory of this in the long run.
Lol I also recite the beginning and whistle the jingle
@@lalisasmr lol same here
Update?
My husband broke up with me but he's still goes home every day. We are still living in one roof but we don't talk anymore. And he changed his status on facebook saying that "in an open relationship" - it really hurts but i pretended not to be. I ignore him since we broke up 3 days ago. I don't know how can i move on if i can still see him everyday, i miss him sooo much that this feeling killin me everyday . What will i do? I don't know how long i will survive this kind of set up.
Interesting video as always! Would it be possible to have one about what to expect from an ex (dumper) according to ther attachment style? meaning is an anxious or avoidant more likely to reach out than a secure person? My ex is an anxious. i'm a bit avoidant. She told me that she met someone else but she reached out after 7 days of break-up to which I replied politely without being eager. I haven't heard from her since then (3 weeks ago). I'm wondering which type of attachment style is more likely to reach out...
Ok, I reply to my own message ... I'm curious to have other people inputs though. I THINK that if the dumper is an ANXIOUS type and you (dumpee) AVOIDANT then the dumper may expect you to reach out later on (because they think you neglected them during the relationship). Not reaching out would prove them that you don't care about them after all. BUT that we should obviously reach out without being eager at all. I just spoke to an ANXIOUS friend who told me that she waited years to have her ex (AVOIDANT) reaching out for her whereas he was also waiting for her to reach out. They discovered that when they accidently met years later. Every situation is unique as Craig says but I tend to think that ANXIOUS people may be a bit less enclined to reach out if they are dumper.
Getting ignored by someone does hurts
Hey Craig, I was thinking why sometimes an ex would try to make you jealous. Obviously they expect a reaction but why even do it in the first place.
I feel that they are testing you but exactly what reaction they would expect?
They care enough to do it so they are still not over you I guess.
In my opinion yes. Why bother to make someone jealous if you have no interest.
I had to ignore my ex because it was important to take time for myself.
It depends, go with your gut. If its out of the blue and you did nothing wrong. Ignoring can work.
It can't be a time frame though. Just until you know it's working
Don't ignore your ex if you are trying to repair the connection between you two. All of my exes have reached out after some time to "repair" the damage that was caused. On both ends.
I will ignore him just like he ignores me may God forgive him us but he put me thru so much pain
I wasnt in N.C after my girlfriend said she didnt want a relationship anymore. But she would text me, randomly. "I seen you driving" , or a quick picture of herself. But after some exchanges I would ask her to get together. Then I'd get radio silence. This went on for weeks. Is this being strung along? I text her, "you are free to go my sweetie, I will let you slip away. I wish you the best"
My ex reached out after 2 weeks of NC. We have been broken up for about 2 months. She got a new guy 3 weeks after we split. She told me she feels like i have built a wall she cannot overvome. I did not address it but set a meeting with her the next day. We met and I told her that I cannot be her friend but can be her boyfriend. I won't settle for less. We talked for about an hour and I made a lot of mistakes during the relationship. I told her that she knows where I stand and she needs to make a decision. I asked her what she wants at least 4 times. She always responded with "I dont know" I told her I would give her space. After I left she drove an hour to her new guy and got drunk within a half hour of arriving (she drunk yexted me). I have not heard back from her since (4 days). She hugged me when i left and it felt like she did not want to let go. I figure i stay NC again until she reaches out. I feel like i took 2 steps forward and one back. Any advise or encouragement would be appreciated.
Thank you for your advice .my ex left me a month ago and he gave no reason as nothing happened between us .he has just contacted out of the blue .i did the no contact and in the past ive run after him but this time i didnt .now im angry because ive gone through so much lately .dont know if i should reply or not now as i dont want to run after him and give him back the control .he only asked how i doing ?a bit late in the day .
Hi coach Kenneth it would mean alot if you reply to this
So after my ex-dumped who happens to be bisexual, I was begging and being annoying and even bad mouthed her, she told me I would never forgive you and told me to get out of my life, my ex later then blocked my phone number and started dating someone new 2 days after she broke up with me so I leave her alone by doing no contact as 1.5 months go by she unblocked my phone number and texted me telling me the person who she dated a girl broke up with her, she ended the conversation by saying lets talk later so I just waited and as a day go by i texted her again saying im worried about you and I hope you're doing fine she then just left me on read. what is the reason for her doing this??? she haven't blocked me again tho, I just decided to give her space again because she's still feeling sad at the moment.
I've been doing NC since Dec 17 with a relationship that was roughly ~2 months. The relationship ended the weekend after Thanksgiving (Nov 29), but she continued to text me casually for a few weeks after until I stopped replying on Dec 17 and returned her spare key to her place. I feel like because our relationship was shorter, that NC won't be as effective. Any thoughts?
Any updates
Updates?
@@adrij4961 I moved on hard after the last update. That was a mega turn-off for me. I decided I don't like playing to their level. 💯
What if you already told them, to take some time for themselves and that they should text you, when they can? Do they come back if they left this message on read?
Does this video still apply when they ask for time and space?
For the past three months whenever me and my wife had an argument she will tell me she don't want to be with me anymore. Last Thursday we had an argument and I slept off and when I woke up in the mid night she has pack up and gone. She came the next morning to pick up the rest of her things and I tried begging and tried to stop her from leaving it almost lead to a brawl I couldn't control my emotions. I cried and she told me she is done with me. She insisted that we go to the bank to split up the money we have been saving, also she separated our phone account and changed her number and told me I will never hear or see her again. Its been four days no contact and I haven't heard from my lovely wife and is killing me.
update?
What if ex ignores me because her trust for me is already broken because of wrong accusation? I never cheated on her but she won't believe whatever i said. Thank you
How do l get to have a session with you Craig? I think my situation is non of nothing that is similar to most of the people you've help? Ive watched many of your videos you and Margaret are lovely Coaches but l feel my situation so unique that the videos you've done hasnt yet related to my situation..How do l get a hold of you?
Just sign up for a coaching at AskCraig.net
Coach Craig- what if it’s been a year and he texts on and off ? Should i take that as he generally still cares, and i should keep responding or is he just playing games and start ignoring any contact from now on ?
nicole browne - Hi. Your comment is 2 months old but same thing for me! She still msgs me from time to time even though she's with someone else! What did you decide? I still miss my ex a lot and her 'cat pawing' has made it very difficult to move on. I guess I could block her but I've always wanted to keep those channels open just in case and hopefully move on eventually regardless. I hope you're doing well 💙🙏
Me and my ex have been completley ignoring eachother for the past month. I miss her and love her so much
Update
Yeah update
Hi can I get an update did you guys ever get back together just wondering cuz it's been 6 months for me long story short I beg I pleaded for 4 months and now I've been doing the no contact because obviously he would ignore me with any text or call did you ever get her back
Guys the no contact period works, ex come back but guess what, my anxiety fucked up everything. Im a mess. I cant control myself emotionally and now i think i lost him forever. He came back and wasnt completely sure he wants me back and then i got scared of being hurt again and i sabotaged everything. Was too hard for me to try and fix everything. Ex is avoidant and too stubborn to see his faults, so im kinda hopeless now. A relathionship cant work if only one of partners wants it to work and the other one acts like nothng is wrong. Im exhausted and depressed for over 2 months....i was better after no contact but now after this complete disaster, i feel ruined :(
Hi there can you please help here please... What does it this mean when the person block you to all the media, what's up, unfriend you on Facebook for couple of months after break up then unblock you after a while of no contact. She block me from last year around May when she decided to replace me with someone else for her reasons of church issues but earlier last year December when I went through my what's up contact I find her unblocking me so I had no idea why did she doing that. Should I start her I mean talking to her or I should keep on doing my no contact rules. Please help me.
I answered my ex (dumper) "Thanks. Have a nice weekend." to her last text where she was a bit more chatty. I think it was a bit too direct (e.g. "I am not interested in doing chit chat"). That was 4 weeks ago. We borke up 5 weeks ago. I feel like I should text her. I realized that she has an anxious attachment style (I am a bit avoidant). I think that she may expect me to come to her because she would be afraid of my "short non-opened" answer if she writes... She said she wanted to try with someone else but a girl friend of mine said that girls sometimes say that to make the break up more easy (!!!! not realizing that they make us suffer 100 times more). I'm terrified to write her and get back to stage 1 of the healing process.
Vincent Muller What happened?
I don’t agree my ex was reaching out to me only for ego stroke !!! I thought we can move tings forward but he was just saying I love you we can’t be together so it depends on situation and for sure gander I don’t think women should reach out no matter what because we not suppose to chase mans love needs is uncertainty
Women’s love need is security
my situation was that i was dumped so she could have her cake and eat it to,,,was trauma bonded,as an empath i really did love her but she didnt want to be exclusive so it felt as though i was wasting my time,,i went no contact for a long time,heard and saw she got engaged but it didnt workout i guess,,she then reached out to me to go out to dinner and or meet up for coffee but i just couldnt do it,,,the reality of the story is,,the grass wasnt greenier on the other side and as a man,i am second choice to nobody,,,she had me,,all of me but for whatever reason she has to live with the choice she made,,,its sad because i really did love her but i cant go backwards,,,i only go forwards,,,i wish her well in her journey in life and i have no doubt there will be another guy to replace me,,,,,,remember guys,,,it was just your turn,,,,focus on yourself and stay strong.
What if you’re not ready to talk to them when they reach out? Is ignoring them acceptable?
Ye at 9:20 -- if your ex is trying to repair, and u obviously want them back like you know you do, I would suggest do not avoid them or play games based on your ego hurting. This is your WINDOW and it will CLOSE. Esp an avoidant type!! (myself)
I was the dumper and within a week, I missed him and by 1.5 weeks contacted, he reciprocated, things were good day 1 but day 2 he got cold and it just made me so much more avoidant. I was already scared… but it was too much for me for him to not be warm and reassuring. As an avoidant, I would rather go the rest of my life never exposing myself to that person/kind of love/rejection than ever reach out again.
That’s what you’re dealing with. A window of like 12-24 hours in my opinion in some cases.
If you are trying to get back an avoidant: love them. Care for them. Don’t smother them. But they need extra help
We weren’t cared for properly by our primary caregivers - something is missing in our essence -
Either you love us more and are willing to go the extra mile or, just stick with another kind tbh (to be honest).
how to get help from you if i am poor and currently unemployed?
5 months later.... not a peep
Are you still hoping?
Still hoping?
Keep it that way as long as possible
if her sister commented on a FB post of mine and I communicated with he SISTER about it... is this breaking NC?? I don't want to come off as rude is all...
Did you date this sister? No. What kinda question is this
I stuck with the no contact thing, and a month and a half later, it definitely worked. Although, I'm really not sure what to do at this point. He sees I'm doing really well, and tells me he still wants to keep in touch. Can someone help me out with this? I feel like he's not being honest at all about how he's feeling with everything.
Emily Painter hey, it’s been 10 months, what happened between you two? Any updates?
We're sitting in suspense lol
Hi Emily its been 2 years please update
Hey Coach Craig, I did the mistake of clean slate text did I completely ruin it?
I am such a good guy and if my efforts are not appreciated in The relationship I will let you go and try somewhere else out of good will
4 years.... one day we were talking about marriage, next minute she needs time to figure her life out. 5 weeks apart, 1 week no contact (I had to move her things out the house) and no word yet. She said "if youre not there when i come back, then that's my fault. You're the one I want. Just not right now"
oh move on from that piece of garbage. She can figure her life out with you by her side.
Run dude unless ur cool with being that dude that’s wife can just go sleep around whenever
Recently my ex friend randomly chatted me and ask how i was doing. This friend is someone i barely know but we talked a few times about him. Any feedback about this? And i saw him posting a story, my ex looks happy . And i feel devastated . At this rate i feel like hurting or suiciding just to get rid of the pain.
Petros Giorgallis do u think this is the direct indirect approach?
Hi love your channel, watch it every day but my question is I have an ex fiancé who now is living with his second girlfriend, and is unhappy with her and he reached out so I felt that he just wanted to use me and get a piece of the pie because he was unhappy with his girlfriend, so I did not reply what do you think?
2 weeks after my breakup I actually wrote a hand written letter to my ex. I basically just said i didnt want any bad feelings between us, explained a few of my actions and stated it wasnt my intention to hurt her, agreed that separating was the right thing to do and mentioned that we can leave the door open since she originally said she wanted to. She actually responded to me and said things were cool between us and there we no hard feelings and hoped i was doing well.
I would say its ok to write a letter, provided its not one that tries to convince the other person to come back to you. If you want to mention how you feel, i would just reference some positive memories or something. Simply stating that you love them or miss them isnt going to help i guess.
naw, that's some weak-minded beta male crap.
I went out of the country on vacation w my friend and got the most terrible news that my friend passed away today. During my breakup 5 months ago my ex said that his door was always open to me- should I be going through something and need to speak to him or need his support . But then he also said “time and distance were our greatest allies.” And he blocked me too :(
I can’t say how hard it is not to contact him now bc I’m hurting. But he’s made no effort to contact me all this time and I don’t think it’s appropriate to contact him with this news.
Hurts that I don’t have him to comfort me when I really need him now :(
Dark Horse Since he blocked you then his offer to be there for you doesn’t really stand. Even if you were able to reach out out- his comfort would be cold and short lived as you’re not in each other’s lives anymore. I’d reach out for others for support that will be genuine and longer lasting. Sorry for your loss, for both of your losses, but you’re stronger than you think 💗
You’re right. Thanks for your kind words. It’s crazy that he said and did contradicting things. Why even offer his support?
Surprised he hasn’t reached out w his condolences which also hurts- but maybe he doesn’t know. I wrote a tribute to her on my IG. These past few months really couldn’t get any worse
Dark Horse He may think contacting you will give you the wrong idea- that he’s ready for a relationship. My ex thinks that way. He’s very careful to not lead me on into thinking he’s ready for anything more than casual. Also, an avoidant ex buries themselves into other responsibilities and activities and are experts at suppressing thoughts and feelings. They go numb and don’t dwell on things like AP with their ruminating thoughts or even secure.
My ex-girlfriend has called me at least 3 times since breaking up with me in March, but unfortunately I did not answer her calls. The last time that she called me was September 21, the day after her birthday. I deeply regret not answering her calls. Is it my turn to start chasing her, or should I just wait for her to call me again? Will you please do a video on this particular situation? 🙏
52 days of nc and my birthday is coming up next week lol wondering if she’ll say happy birthday as an indirect direct 😂 she blocked me on everything when we broke up because I didn’t respect her decision. She unblocked me on Instagram and followed me aswell whilst watching all my stories after 4 weeks but nothing since. Going strong 💪🏿
Take your power back and they will be back if they have to
Coach Craig..can you do a video on fast engagements? My ex has been with his new “fiancé” for 2 months. We’ve been broken up for 4 months. We were together 2 years. I feel he’s using her for survival at the moment. But it hurts SO bad.
Hang in there Sarah! Sounds like he's hanging on in "survival mode". So sorry that you are going through this troubling time in double speed! Work on yourself. Find new friends, old friends get some hobbies, anything to get this guy out of your heart and head! You will get through this!
RollingnBodfish93518 thank you so much!! I’m starting school next week and I’ve been going to the gym everyday. Spending lots of time with my fam and friends!! It’s helped me so much! I’ve been in NC for 90 days. I’m doing better but it still stings a little when I think about him and her.
@@sarahboyd7754 that's great! Your now on the right path to enlightenment! You are much stronger now. Can you feel it? You are a Superstar and don't you forget about it! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Big hugs from sin city!
@@sarahboyd7754 update??
John Smith I’ve been with my new man for 10 months now and he’s everything I’ve been looking for! Spoils me like no other and isn’t a cheater!! Such a good man! I finished cosmetology school and am now in a salon and doing great in my career. My ex came back and said he wanted to marry me 😂 but I was with my now boyfriend!! Lmao. What a loser!! I am well over him and so glad my new man is in my life! I’m doing great. Thanks for asking!
Happy ThThanksgiving too yall
I don’t want to ignore him but he continuously texts me and sometimes calls me .. with no desire of commitment. I feel like I’m a back up plan for him.. he instills hope in me. But doesn’t do anything to commit. He’s not trying to repair anything.. just wasting my time and leaving me wondering WHAT NEXT. I’m on the verge of ignoring him now.
Should be wise to expect a direct contact after an indirect-direct aprouch ?
My ex told me just four or five days after the breakup that I don’t have to answer now but I hope to be friends. It’s now day 67 since the breakup and I was wondering if it’s too late to answer her? I didn’t answer her then because I was just hurt and I was crying.
Craige how can i make an appointment with you?
Much love from Amsterdam😘