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How I Became Confident (My Advice)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ส.ค. 2024
  • Confidence is a broad topic and something I could talk about for hours. In this video, I share some of my experience on confidence and some of the "methods" I use to keep myself balanced. Let me know if you would like a part two.
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    Confidence, how to be confident, how to become confident, why confidence is important

ความคิดเห็น • 1.6K

  • @LanaBlakely
    @LanaBlakely  4 ปีที่แล้ว +472

    Been doing Q&A's on Instagram and I'm planning on doing livestreams to stay more connected with you all in-between videos. You can follow me here: instagram.com/lanablakely. Also, let me know if you'd like a part two of this video.

  • @myanis007
    @myanis007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5921

    We become confident by doing things we are not confident with.

    • @bingosantamonica
      @bingosantamonica 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      great!

    • @user-kc5kx4rn6z
      @user-kc5kx4rn6z 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      what?

    • @krystal5z
      @krystal5z 4 ปีที่แล้ว +147

      You gain confidence by facing your fears & working on improving things you don’t feel you’re good at. Practice & stepping out of your comfort zone can help build security. After doing certain things, you see that you are capable & you become more comfortable & confident

    • @zayrabuentempo8879
      @zayrabuentempo8879 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      love it😊

    • @MeNatalily
      @MeNatalily 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I think that how Lana added, that you should do your best (when getting exposed to these situations) is a very important point. It's just not enough to do things you're not confident in, but rather trying to do your best when you're in those situations is what matter most.

  • @amaltaher2717
    @amaltaher2717 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10311

    “Confidence is not saying ‘I know they will like me.’ It’s saying ‘I’ll be fine even if they don’t.” -Christina Grimmie (RIP)

    • @ws3715
      @ws3715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Big like

    • @paulflaubert7355
      @paulflaubert7355 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Its actually just drinking six beers and going down the street with swag

    • @freybel327
      @freybel327 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      I do believe that this is by Christina Grimme. Such a wonderful quote.

    • @sg_1541
      @sg_1541 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Shallon lester? I heard her say this once? Idk

    • @jukx5892
      @jukx5892 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@sg_1541 oh jeez I hope not 😅 she's gruesome

  • @raneem8328
    @raneem8328 4 ปีที่แล้ว +806

    How to be confident:
    1- Evaluate your weaknesses and strengths. (Be honest with yourself)
    2- Work hard on yourself (invest in yourself)
    3- find comfort in discomfort (if you don't try you're not gonna get better at anything which leads to being unconfident)
    4- acceptance (take responsibility for your actions as it is+ give yourself credit)

    • @teukuanfarulmizan6159
      @teukuanfarulmizan6159 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks

    • @stevethea5250
      @stevethea5250 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@teukuanfarulmizan6159 this one from the video

    • @aneelajaved4266
      @aneelajaved4266 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm honest with myself.
      I take credits.
      I'm not really working hard on myself.
      I can't find comfort in discomfort.🥲

    • @lazyg7218
      @lazyg7218 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "4-ACCEPTANCE" is rly rly rly importante

  • @jedemesa23
    @jedemesa23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +267

    "The act of confidence comes first, the feel of confidence comes later"

  • @sabermaster80
    @sabermaster80 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5105

    "There is no growth in your comfort zone" Extremely powerful words right there.

    • @oof2073
      @oof2073 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      so i guess i'll shave my head

    • @FrenchwithVatsala
      @FrenchwithVatsala 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      So true!

    • @intentionalliving7326
      @intentionalliving7326 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      So true now in 2020

    • @tahsinalam8647
      @tahsinalam8647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Damn right on this point!

    • @riddssome
      @riddssome 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😶 but some people are not allowed to get out of that ...

  • @teaandburitos3072
    @teaandburitos3072 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6437

    Deleting social media helps especially instagram in my opinion. I've felt so much better since deleting it

    • @somesquirrel1510
      @somesquirrel1510 4 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      tea and buritos me too honestly. Let’s keep it up!

    • @somesquirrel1510
      @somesquirrel1510 4 ปีที่แล้ว +343

      Noda Neem depends on how you’re using it. I always fell into the trap of comparing my lives to others depicted on social media. I often don’t even know these people. It’s a huge waste of time and didn’t help my depression. I just keep in touch with friends through texting. Nowadays I’m doing relatively better in school and could use those time I spent on social media to take care of myself. I’m happier now without the constant compulsive craving for validation. It’s tough in the beginning but worth it in the long run

    • @gracajose8474
      @gracajose8474 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Noda Neem yes its worth it. Ive been feeling better about myself since then

    • @thesocialintrovertchronicles
      @thesocialintrovertchronicles 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      For me it was FB that was draining me. I deleted it last year in April, and I haven't missed it a bit

    • @jonburnett2207
      @jonburnett2207 4 ปีที่แล้ว +99

      100% AGREE.
      I deleted it a year ago and never touched it since. I feel so much better without it and feel like I fulfilled my time a lot more.

  • @dmb555
    @dmb555 3 ปีที่แล้ว +379

    Lana, you're lucky you were confident as a child. To me, that's the main issue with insecurity: if you grow up in a toxic family, chances are you will not feel confident through life. Upbringing tells so much about we as human beings.

    • @agnosia6253
      @agnosia6253 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      that's right , a friend of mine felt with that and despite she's amazing she's insecure because of her familly

    • @Ash-of1yl
      @Ash-of1yl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yeah bro I grew up in a family where I never knew when my dad was mad and he terrorized me and my family for years, im 16 now and pretty depressed and anxious but my brother grew up fine some how I stay at home he goes out so I guess I need better outlets and get out of this toxic household like my brother to get bettee

    • @Ash-of1yl
      @Ash-of1yl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Blue & Green I agree im really just trying to leave my home as much as possible right now because thats the best thing for my mental health after all I have to take 100% responsibility now for the things theyve done it sucks but its the harsh reality

    • @edelleaa
      @edelleaa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      i was literally thinking about these things in the shower yesterday ahah... even the little things that were said to me when i was a child, either by my father, mother or whoever else... it's crazy how it sticks with you for decades and in the end changes your whole personality and how you act around people...

    • @Ash-of1yl
      @Ash-of1yl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@edelleaa Yeah but the way to fix it is in fiixning your habits letting go of bad ones and making new ones that will shape who you want to be im learning this now

  • @Daisyflower25
    @Daisyflower25 4 ปีที่แล้ว +349

    What helped me a lot personally was to not base my confidence on any achievements at all, and to know that every human has as much worth as one another, even people in a vegetable state. In the end it's not that important what other people believe about you, but what you believe about yourself. It's important to love yourself, exactly as you are, and not try to be someone else to please others.

  • @coreytoomey7579
    @coreytoomey7579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5527

    Confidence is gained as you get older. You learn more about yourself and what you’re meant to do. You become okay with your shortcomings and weaknesses because they show you what your strengths are.

    • @AverageAngel
      @AverageAngel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +187

      I don't think age leads to confidence. A lot of old people have no confidence either. Confidence is more likely to be present when you get older because you get the opportunity to become confident, but that does not mean you will actually become more confident.

    • @FNFilmsPhotography
      @FNFilmsPhotography 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Somehow the older I get the more overthinking I am what I will do with my life in the future (job etc.) and also why almost everyone has a girlfriend and I idiot can not even make a simple conversation for a longer time with a girl...
      This eats me sometimes up from the inside which leads to sleepless nights of overthinking..

    • @coreytoomey7579
      @coreytoomey7579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      @@FNFilmsPhotography Maybe you're not at peace with who you are? Try to learn what kind of person you are and just be cool with it. For example: If you're introverted, maybe you shouldn't pursue a career that requires you to engage with others. Maybe you shouldn't act like you're extroverted. I hope I'm making sense here.

    • @FNFilmsPhotography
      @FNFilmsPhotography 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@coreytoomey7579 thank you!
      Yeah makes sense for me!☺️
      I am introverted for sure - I will try to look at the whole situation from an different angle! Thanks again!

    • @coreytoomey7579
      @coreytoomey7579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Financial Millennial Sure. Maybe a more apt way of saying it is, “Confidence is gained through LIFE EXPERIENCE.”
      Through experience you learn what you’re suited for and what you’re not.

  • @miggs8075
    @miggs8075 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2056

    Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself, failing is learning and since you are the master of your mind, as another Swedish TH-camr has said: "People can't shame you if you can't feel shame."

    • @shivangidubey2546
      @shivangidubey2546 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Miggs-露水- Language nerd was that pewdipie

    • @AxeKick80
      @AxeKick80 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

    • @ZardoDhieldor
      @ZardoDhieldor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Shame is such an annoying emotion. It's either entirely baseless or it's justified but only makes things worse.

    • @miggs8075
      @miggs8075 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@shivangidubey2546 Nope Angry foreigner

    • @sonixxxxx23
      @sonixxxxx23 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      this is what i struggle with my friend

  • @TheIntriguePost
    @TheIntriguePost 4 ปีที่แล้ว +466

    self-esteem is an internal feeling, confidence is its outer manifestation. They are really the two sides of the same coin.

  • @MayasMission
    @MayasMission 3 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    This is your sign, you are exactly where you need to be! Confidence is a journey, be patient ✨

  • @repetitiveaffirmations
    @repetitiveaffirmations 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2529

    *“Always be yourself and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it.” -Bruce Lee*

    • @BruceLeon83
      @BruceLeon83 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You said sister. 😎👊In times like This.. you have to "Be like Water.. Just keep on Flowing." - Bruce Lee

    • @ALEXA-mu3oy
      @ALEXA-mu3oy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      but i kinda want to be more confident and outgoing like the others.

    • @ashleyvalverde8756
      @ashleyvalverde8756 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This means a lot to me 🤍ty ! My friend & I aren’t friends anymore & he’s the closest thing I had I would make fun of him & call him nick names one name in particular was “bruce lee “ (he looked a lot like him ) lol Ik it’s so corny but he would always tell me to keep my head up & be confident he recommended me this channel & ever since I’ve felt a lot better . Idk If it’s a coincidence or something but your quote really brought back memories:) absolutely adore it 🤍🤍thank you again

    • @sharonwanjiru9959
      @sharonwanjiru9959 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      True

    • @Kingofcathay
      @Kingofcathay 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Be water -Bruce Lee

  • @microwaveengineer6681
    @microwaveengineer6681 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1094

    If you measure your confidence with external standards such as your looks or clothes you will never be truly confident. Because there is no end to the list of things that could always be better. The very idea implies comparing yourself to other peoples standards. There will always be a cooler outfit, a straighter nose or a nicer body. But chasing that will always leave you empty handed once you do.
    Real confidence has to come from within and be unconditional. You have to be able to walk outside looking like shit but feeling great. It's called SELF confidence because it has to come from you but not other people or their validation.

  • @arpankanungo8688
    @arpankanungo8688 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    "Its not I am and I can, I need to actually be and do"
    So true. loved it.

  • @yatharthpandey7056
    @yatharthpandey7056 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Being consistent in your work makes you confident

  • @R.SaGaR.
    @R.SaGaR. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +820

    We loose confidence when we start comparing ours life with other. Every one has positive phrase of their life sooner or later jst wait for it. Positive mindset is first step toward confidence.

    • @oladepoitunu3067
      @oladepoitunu3067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Positive mindset is the first step towards self confidence,woah,a whole point.

    • @krystal5z
      @krystal5z 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      *lose (sorry, just had to point this out). Good spelling & learning from mistakes is also growth. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😅

    • @tuttochiaramentechiaro
      @tuttochiaramentechiaro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Actually I lose confidence when people criticize and bully me every day

    • @R.SaGaR.
      @R.SaGaR. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@krystal5z@thx for pointing out my mistake. really lol 😂😂😂😂

    • @shamimakter5375
      @shamimakter5375 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@tuttochiaramentechiaro, they won't bully and criticize you if you don't react on them oe just ignore them.

  • @OnlineLifeGuide
    @OnlineLifeGuide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3574

    5 Major Lessons I learned about Confidence through my life experiences:
    1 - Even if you have nothing but you have confidence in yourself, you'll stand out of the crowd, earn respect and get ahead in life.
    2 - Jealousy and insecurity from other people's progress is a sign of lack of self-confidence.
    3 - There's a thin line between confidence and arrogance. The wise ones know the difference between confidence and arrogance. They catch themselves immediately if they find they're going towards the wrong side.
    4 - Confidence doesn't require certainty. It's the knowing that you'll accept and handle whatever comes your way.
    Many people's confidence relies too much upon how well and smooth things are going, their confidence relies upon certainty. But when they lose that certainty or when life's not going that smooth, their confidence suffers as well.
    5 - It's important to base the foundation of your confidence on higher purpose and meaning, rather than temporary, superficial things.

    • @lilyghassemzadeh
      @lilyghassemzadeh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Absolutely love your articulation of my thoughts 👍 👍 👍

    • @OnlineLifeGuide
      @OnlineLifeGuide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lilyghassemzadeh 🙏 :))

    • @OnlineLifeGuide
      @OnlineLifeGuide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @mahmoud abdelsalam I'm glad it benefitted you brother 😊 Stay blessed!

    • @hannap8052
      @hannap8052 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you 😊

    • @OnlineLifeGuide
      @OnlineLifeGuide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@hannap8052 Most welcome 😊

  • @PhuongTran-gr6zx
    @PhuongTran-gr6zx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    4 steps:
    1. Honesty. look at the whole pictures
    2. Actually be and work to build confidence. It is not just sitting and think
    3. Finding comfort in discomfort.
    4. Acceptance. You see the situation for what it is. Be responsible for your actions.j

  • @ChrisGaultHealthyLiving
    @ChrisGaultHealthyLiving 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Action Builds Experience, Experience Builds Confidence, Confidence Destroys Fear.

  • @Charlie-xi1kq
    @Charlie-xi1kq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +741

    1-self honesty
    2-work hard
    3-seeking discomfort (yes theory)
    4-acceptence (realistic, basicly step 1)
    (5-for me don t try to be something that you are not)

    • @nogymforyourface49
      @nogymforyourface49 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      1. Cope.
      2. Cope.
      3. Cope.
      4. Cope.
      5. Cope.

    • @Charlie-xi1kq
      @Charlie-xi1kq 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      exactly

    • @malakbennani491
      @malakbennani491 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Charlie-xi1kq SEEK DISCOMFORT !!!

    • @Charlie-xi1kq
      @Charlie-xi1kq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@malakbennani491 hell yeah baby that s the spirit

  • @thePlum
    @thePlum 4 ปีที่แล้ว +445

    Stand up straight with your shoulders back

    • @MrDramatizacija
      @MrDramatizacija 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Clean your room

    • @eylulvv
      @eylulvv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Aldin do the dishes

    • @alexanderx3554
      @alexanderx3554 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street.

    • @layanna8702
      @layanna8702 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Try not to get scratched by the cat you tried to pet on the street

    • @alexanderx3554
      @alexanderx3554 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@layanna8702 the op, clean your room and pet a cat/dog are rules from Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life. The 12th rule It's to remind yourself to take notice of the little things in life that remove suffering even if only momentarily.

  • @109_ritikahasija5
    @109_ritikahasija5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Dear Lana
    Thank you for making this video.
    I'm about to enter into college and I've always been the girl who sits at the corner of the classroom and doesn't interact with anyone except close friends.
    I get really nervous and shaky when I'm called up on stage or pushed to small talk with a random person.
    I hope to change that for college.

    • @AmandeepKaurPathania
      @AmandeepKaurPathania 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @ritika hasija I was similar kind of person years ago. It used to take courage to speak up in classroom to anyone except one or two friends. But I have changed now and so changed that I started my youtube channel recently 😀 Good luck with your college. It may take time but if you want, you will change for better.

    • @109_ritikahasija5
      @109_ritikahasija5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@AmandeepKaurPathania Subbed. Hope you succeed.

    • @AmandeepKaurPathania
      @AmandeepKaurPathania 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@109_ritikahasija5 hey thanks a lot! I really do hope my videos help you in some way 😀😍

  • @jackiek4159
    @jackiek4159 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Confidence comes in celebrating the small wins along the way and actively putting in the work to learn new skills and push yourself outside of your comfort zone! The more you do this, over time, the more confident and competent you become! Thank you for this wisdom Lana! :)

  • @osse1n
    @osse1n 4 ปีที่แล้ว +321

    Confidence stacks up over time, through different achievements and accomplishments.
    The earned credibility in specific areas of your life boost your confidence in others, you know that you are competent.

    • @laviz9162
      @laviz9162 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      BRASILIANS REFUSE QUARANTINE FOR FREEDOM th-cam.com/video/fJKgxB_QuY8/w-d-xo.html

    • @Vladimyrful
      @Vladimyrful 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm not by any means trying to be a contrarian here but that's not true for me at all.

    • @lisa96boo
      @lisa96boo 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      THIS YES.

    • @suhae2175
      @suhae2175 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah but it's also important to display confidence in situations you don't have much experience in so it can't be entirely based on that.

  • @lewlesslake
    @lewlesslake 4 ปีที่แล้ว +433

    "Risk it for the biscuit or Stay until you turn into a bag of hay"
    *Lana 2020*

    • @lavans06
      @lavans06 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      No idea how she didn't laugh at her own joke and went deadpan 😂

    • @Ilovesky1223
      @Ilovesky1223 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's okay Lana I laughed for you 🤣

  • @mrsupershotgunn
    @mrsupershotgunn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    i also need to actually soicialise more.. than just make up scenarioos in my head and feel pseudo confident
    (* ofcoaurse after social distancing era)

  • @FoodieFran
    @FoodieFran 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I've recently learned that there are two types of confidence: character confidence and skill confidence that stems from certain skills and things we know. I've been really working on building my character confidence to have confidence that I can do anything I put my mind to or try new things, fail, and that's ok

  • @kheirahamad8224
    @kheirahamad8224 4 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    " finding comfort in discomfort " 👌

  • @dera641
    @dera641 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    For me confidence is keeping myself motivated and being enthusiastic.

    • @luisterrust
      @luisterrust 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Enthusiasm and gratitude are very important to keep motivated 💪🏻

  • @shituroo2967
    @shituroo2967 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    "Don't try to be a man of success try to be a man of Value " Albert Einsten

    • @boss4330
      @boss4330 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Big mistake following that advice in the 21st century.

    • @starchild692
      @starchild692 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@boss4330 I wouldn't say it's a mistake, there's nothing wrong with being a man of value however it's out of context and doesn't help alot with confidence Issues.

    • @boss4330
      @boss4330 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@starchild692 Why would a man of value have confidence issues? Most likely it's the other way around.
      You could definitely be a successful man(as in having a lot of money) and not have any confidence(many regularly visit therapists) but you could definitely never be a man of value when you lack confidence.
      Now if you're talking about perception... that's a different story. These days people compare their lives on social media so "confidence" might mean a different thing to different people.

  • @jeromeforman1777
    @jeromeforman1777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You absolutely hit the nail on the head. Confidence comes from doing, from repeated sustained action, a willingness to learn and try new things and to love and respect yourself as you would your best friend.

  • @stayhappylittlemermaid
    @stayhappylittlemermaid 4 ปีที่แล้ว +274

    No matter how good or bad your life is, wake up each morning and be thankful that you still have one.
    💓

    • @intentionalliving7326
      @intentionalliving7326 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well put! So true 🤗

    • @paulus7558
      @paulus7558 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This hit me cause I had some bad days
      Thank u after a year

  • @towncrier6820
    @towncrier6820 4 ปีที่แล้ว +407

    this couldn't have come at better time

  • @Aubatron
    @Aubatron 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Confidence for me is linked to how competent I feel, and what I've achieved. I can't fake confidence no matter how hard I try, it's only when I prove to myself that I'm capable that my confidence shows. A lot of people seem to be able to put on a superficial mask of confidence, and I never understood that.

  • @lekshmi931
    @lekshmi931 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    0:10 intro.
    (point-1) 2:04 being honest with yourself.
    (Point-2) 3:20 working hard
    (Point-3) 4:51 taking risks
    (Point-4) 5:42 acceptance

  • @ad.r.4470
    @ad.r.4470 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    This is so so timely. I've been struggling with really low confidence since I was around 14 when we moved to a different country where being new, different and just not fitting in general hit me and crushed my confidence little by little. And because of the situation the world is in at the moment we're stuck inside our houses so more thoughts and voices in my head makes my confidence even lower. I miss my old confident self.

    • @_redraven
      @_redraven 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Althea Castillo I can highly relate we didn't moved to a different country but to a different city and failed to accept the changes occured. I missed my old friends and it was when my self esteem got crushed. I developed Anxiety disorder. What I've learned this far is the same old ' believe in yourself' is so much true. Just keep trying to improve yourself everyday. Listen to some wisdom.
      Hope you get restored your retro confidence back!

    • @kritikak5839
      @kritikak5839 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Samee ...i transfferred to a diffr city last year, where everybody speeks english instead of our native language....I feel extremely awkward and hard to meet children here.....everyone looks pretty and acts pretty, and i miss my old friends....NEVER in my life, ive had a problem making friends....i too have anxiety now and it crushes me inside.....But im slowly working and striving to get better! soooo....good luckkk

    • @nephronz519
      @nephronz519 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      My story:When I was 8 I went to hostel most of the kids in the hostel were rich I am from a good family but I felt insecure . 2 years it went in a blink. In 10 I changed school (hostel) I got friends who were similar to me it was good but unproductive I never participated in anything . 7 th grade I changed again in my hometown now I struggled a lot in the first year . 8th grade lockdown helped me spent time with myself n I began to see myself.now 9th grade I'm good now though I didn't reach my goal yet.

  • @MichaelBordenaro
    @MichaelBordenaro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    Celebrating the small wins… such an important lesson in confidence. Along with constantly striving to be better I would say. Nice job once again Lana. Always look forward to watching your next video👌

  • @theMusicFairy1
    @theMusicFairy1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I also think that in order to be confident, you need to be okay with making mistakes and taking the right decisions. You especially have to be okay with it when it comes to being "exposed" as wrong in front of others. We have to think that making mistakes and failing in front of others is no big deal and that it's actually a very normal part of life!

  • @Cc-hl6lv
    @Cc-hl6lv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m 17 and literally such a hermit crab because I’m so insecure. It’s actually making me sick because I’m constantly thinking bad about myself or holding back from doing things because I didn’t want to look dumb. ITS SO TIRING

    • @SteAndRach
      @SteAndRach 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Can totally relate, I was the shyest kid growing up until I had enough of that feeling and got really into personal growth! I started pushing myself out of my comfort zone more and more! And as uncomfortable as it was I saw every situation as an opportunity to practice, I knew the more discomfort I would face the more I would build my confidence! In short, what really helped me was to attach my self-worth to always being a learner and not to how smart, confident, social I was! It takes work but if I did it you can do it too 💛I recently started a youtube channel with my girlfriend where we share what helped us in our personal growth journey, hope our content can be helpful ☺️

  • @aaronmarchand999
    @aaronmarchand999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    The key to gaining confidence = enduring the possible negative opinions that other people have of you, instead of trying to appease them (which has as a prerequisite the need to push through internal resistance and expose yourself to situations where you trigger a backlash of attention and possible negative opinions in the first place). And as you "grit your teeth" and endure what you perceive to be other peoples negative opinions, it causes physiological stress adaptations on a cellular level, and changes to your emotional and nervous and hormonal systems, similar to the stress adaptations that come from lifting weights to gain physical strength. And also just like lifting weights, the more you do it, the more social pressure you can handle over time, so that the opinions of other people no longer affect you like they did before

    • @marinachoban2607
      @marinachoban2607 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish I could understand your lofty language, it sounds profound 🤔
      what internal resistance? Are you saying that we are looking for approval of our decisions because we're uncertain if they are the right ones?

    • @alexanderjakubowski5673
      @alexanderjakubowski5673 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I never really cared if people like me or not. I'm happy to cut anyone out even if they have some symbolic importance in my life.

    • @aaronmarchand999
      @aaronmarchand999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@marinachoban2607 By "internal resistance" I mean emotional resistance or fear to express ourselves, for example feeling nervous, or feeling shut down and self conscious, or avoiding situations that make us feel uncomfortable. So let's say you feel nervous to talk in front of a group of people, that nervousness is a type of emotional resistance, basically something inside of you is trying to prevent you from doing it. So you have to push through that type of resistance in order to actually do it.
      You could even do an experiment right now to feel the kind of resistance I'm talking about: if you start talking out loud, and keep increasing the volume of your voice, eventually you'll reach a point where you start to become self conscious that other people might be able to hear you. Even if you're alone at home you'll start to feel this at some point, maybe you'll be afraid that people can hear you through the doors or the windows or something like that. And then if you try to keep talking even louder, there will be an emotional resistance that prevents you from doing it. So if you want to keep talking, and talk even louder, then you have to push through the resistance, in a similar way to pushing through physical resistance if you're exercising and you want to quit. This is the kind of internal resistance I'm talking about. It comes in many different forms, and it all has to do with the fear of being judged by other people.
      And the reason this resistance is there in the first place (for example the reason we feel nervous or shut down in social situations, or the reason we are afraid to express ourselves) is to protect us from exposing ourselves to the judgment of other people, it's like a psychological self protection mechanism. So if you push through this kind of internal resistance, then the natural consequence is that you expose yourself to the judgments of other people.
      Just as an example, even in writing this message right now, I have a little bit of emotional resistance to click the "reply" button and send it, because I know that once I do, then I am exposing myself to whatever opinions you or whoever else reading this comment might have of me. It's not a big deal, and I'm used to putting my ideas out there like this, but in the past I've had times where I was totally scared of what other people might think of things that I've said or written, and sometimes it's even been really intense. And I'm sure you know the feeling, where you are afraid to send some sort of a message to someone or make a social media post or something like that. And then after you send it, you have to face the backlash of whatever people might think, maybe even feel super embarrassed or whatever. So basically what I meant in my original comment is that if you purposely do this kind of thing over and over again, and face the judgment of other people over and over again, it's like building a muscle, and over time you care less and less about what people think, and you gain more and more confidence in what you're doing.
      Hope that makes sense

    • @marinachoban2607
      @marinachoban2607 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@alexanderjakubowski5673 does that include your own parents?

    • @starchild692
      @starchild692 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@aaronmarchand999 I like your approach and obviously you put alot of thought into it however I want to point out that it may not work for everyone and may give opposite results, some uncomfortable situations can be sometimes shocking or even traumatizing which then creats an association with pain, and cause your mind to become conditioned to avoid any adventure outside of your confort zone again. So I I don't think going cold turkey is the safest approach. I would recommend working on changing your perception, understanding yourself and your environment then exposing yourself to gradually to small doses of discomfort at a time.

  • @goldicheema9352
    @goldicheema9352 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    You got everything confidence and beauty

  • @maniespi4245
    @maniespi4245 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now.

  • @flaviagalano9697
    @flaviagalano9697 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    the reason i love your channel is that i actually feel like you think in the same way i think, i mean every time i watch a video about a certain topic i’m always pleasantly surprised by the fact that i’ve literally thought about the same things in my past experience. I just feel “understood” and like my mind isn’t just a crazy train after all lol

  • @natashamudford4011
    @natashamudford4011 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Interesting story about people's contrasting confidence:
    My friend decided she wanted to do things that scared her, and one thing was an indoor climbing wall. We went to a mall that had one inside a sporting goods store, but it wasn't open, so we just stood at the base of it and I gave her some climbing pointers. It was like a pre-climb pep-talk, only we never did get to make the climb together. (I don't know if she eventually did or not... we have been out-of-touch.) At any rate, she expressed nervousness while we were just standing at the base, looking up. After the pep-talk, we went walking around the mall, visited her sister who worked there, and stopped in a make-up store. I felt very apprehensive going into the make-up store, but she was totally in her element. She lacked confidence about climbing, and I lacked confidence about make-up...

  • @Liv.Erpool
    @Liv.Erpool 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    You are extremely calming and so beautiful.

  • @byalicexo
    @byalicexo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    these were some really great tips. i'd also add what ed mylet always says about confidence. confidence comes from the promises you keep to yourself. i found that the more i stuck to my word and followed through with whatever i said i'd do, the more confident i became. doing small things everyday helps build up that confidence as well 🥰🥰🥰

    • @SteAndRach
      @SteAndRach 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is such great advice, love Ed Mylet but I don't remember hearing this!!! Thank you for leaving this comment 💛☺️

  • @Hndoos87
    @Hndoos87 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Indeed.. it does just fluctuate .. English speaking for instance, sometimes I feel I’m unstoppable.. yet sometimes it sounds I have never ever spoke it before ! And the list goes on ..

  • @admirbarucija2018
    @admirbarucija2018 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I’m so excited for this video, confidence is perhaps my biggest struggle! 💕

  • @Butterfly-zv7ub
    @Butterfly-zv7ub 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    When i was a kid i used To be so confident but when i became older i lost it just because of social media
    It makes me feel like i'm not like others

  • @meaningoflifewithkavi
    @meaningoflifewithkavi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The way you calibrate, reflect and communicate is beyond beautiful. Not to mention the calmness you exude

  • @damarisvazman2963
    @damarisvazman2963 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think part of gaining confidence is the conscious agreement to commit to doing things that are only good for you. By doing so, you stop valuing other people's opinions as much and you start to value your own. I think confidence is gained as we get older because we realize that we only have ourselves in this life.

  • @pjintrovert7907
    @pjintrovert7907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The way you speak is the best proof of what confidence means. Thank you

  • @OlympiaSophie
    @OlympiaSophie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Very interesting perspective, especially the part of 'finding comfort in discomfort'. Looking forward to your next videos!

  • @olxxa4967
    @olxxa4967 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    From my experience, I gained confidence by working on myself.
    I started to workout and I started dancing, and it made me feel good about myself. I also started to embrace my appearance that I used to dislike. Everyday, I would look in the mirror telling myself that I am pretty and confident.
    It was weird at the beginning, but now I don't hate seeing my reflection anymore.
    I am not enough confident yet to greet the majority of my classmate.
    Still, I made progress. Two years ago, I wasn't even able to get up to go to the toilet during class because I was afraid people would watch me.

  • @naynikag7792
    @naynikag7792 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Putting in the energy and work needed is where I lag the most when it comes to building confidence. Far too often, I play out scenarios in my brain but never get round to actually doing them. With social distancing going on, I've had the opportunity to reflect on this and do my best putting myself out there (not literally ofc but with friends and trying new things). I'm still working on confidence, and like you said Lana: "*either risk it for the biscuit or you stay and turn into a bag of hay*"

    • @AmandeepKaurPathania
      @AmandeepKaurPathania 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It is tough initially do things but starting small (with things that your mind can take at that time) and gradually really helps. I was a very shy person about a decade ago and now I have changed and started my own youtube channel 😀

    • @naynikag7792
      @naynikag7792 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AmandeepKaurPathania Wow that's good to hear! I agree with you; trying too many things at a time has often discouraged me from taking up some activities. With this approach, I hope I'll get to do the things I love. I'm pretty shy too but dream of being a content creator on TH-cam later ❤

  • @swiftieforever8956
    @swiftieforever8956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    You're a good mentor. ❤❤❤

  • @jana3560
    @jana3560 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    For me the I became a confident person for the first time in My life, is when I start to focus on myself and to recover from any thing Wich gave me anxiety or make me feel bad.

  • @LuuAsked4Question
    @LuuAsked4Question 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    that's literally so good, finally i found someone who could REALLY understand our sh!t we've been getting through , not just like lying to yourself without even trying or getting out of your comfort zone, you're right and the most person how got more sense and logic in their advice and thank you for it.

  • @natemarx4999
    @natemarx4999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Easter becomes more glorious with a Lana upload. 🙏❤🙏

  • @BryanHiggins
    @BryanHiggins 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "You either risk it for the biscuit, or you stay and you turn into a bag of hay." This made me chuckle, great analogy of whats true!

  • @wilsonubi3922
    @wilsonubi3922 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You may not understand how excited I feel whenever you upload a new video. This means alot to me as someone who is battling low self-esteem, partly because of me being an introvert.
    Thanks. I appreciate. 😍

  • @saradindusarma3856
    @saradindusarma3856 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The self talk point is really works. And we should practice affirmations.

  • @hopegrace6
    @hopegrace6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    1.4 million people watched this video… that’s how many other people are feeling the same way as you and me 💓💗💘💖💞💝

  • @risarahman1253
    @risarahman1253 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    thank you lana this helped a lot. confidence is competence

  • @ellynovia
    @ellynovia 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    1. honesty, being honest with urself, evaluate your weakness n strengths
    2. putting inthe work, “best way to build confidence is to invest energy in it, and work hard at it”. stop always thingking like “i am …” & “i can…”. start to BE and DO
    3. finding comfort in discomfort, there is no growth in comfort zone. being ok with embarassing urself >>> being ok with failing >>> being ok with dislikes >>> TAKE A CHANCE.
    4. acceptance ≠ giving up. acceptance = seeing something as what it is, to make a room for improvement

  • @hamza3065
    @hamza3065 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is something I struggle with alot, I want to try so many new things but just the idea of embarrassing myself and failing prevents me from even attempting to try it but I'm hopeful gradually I'll win over this. Love your soothing and calming on screen presence. Lots of love

    • @wutaeworld
      @wutaeworld 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hamza Raja you got it hun 💛🌸💛
      I got cool vids btw (: ~ th-cam.com/video/VWH05ZhdZEo/w-d-xo.html

  • @samariyad4598
    @samariyad4598 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Pleaseeee do a part 2😄🙏 I could really use it

  • @adiiqbal8010
    @adiiqbal8010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    "You either risk it for the biscuit or stay and turn into a bag of hay"
    If that isn't on a tshirt by next week I'm gonna be pissed

  • @katherinemartinez1312
    @katherinemartinez1312 ปีที่แล้ว

    Something that has helped me with my journey of confidence is to fall in love and accept myself for all that I am and what I have to offer to the world. Confidence is your superpower to achieve and attract the life you want ❤️start accepting and believing!

  • @tdesq.2463
    @tdesq.2463 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I vote for #2. Put in the Work. Show up prepared. How else could anyone feel confident in their ability to handle whatever may be thrown at him/her? Confidence is a natural product of Competence.

  • @aneyetteanni1610
    @aneyetteanni1610 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You're so realistic and that's what i like most about you

  • @erilonearth
    @erilonearth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I recently discovered your channel & I am super in love with the vibes I get from your videos, through visuals, through words & through all the value that you offer. Thank you for embarking on this personal growth journey & sharing it with us all :)

  • @zuzina3128
    @zuzina3128 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i feel like you’re my older sister which always can help me and gives me the best advices

  • @ivetteluna7075
    @ivetteluna7075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    exactly confidence really starts internally

  • @MATEAKENNY1234
    @MATEAKENNY1234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This world needs more people like you.
    Really love your videos, keep it up!

  • @FahadKahut
    @FahadKahut 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    You are one of the most beautiful persons I have ever come across, in all honesty. God bless

  • @mennatallahhashem4694
    @mennatallahhashem4694 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The most important thing is to be really satisfied about yourself whatever you found during your way so it would be really helpful too

  • @sucifadilah7732
    @sucifadilah7732 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I fell more comfort to see this video

  • @fawziajezile5154
    @fawziajezile5154 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    ❤️ I’m obsessed with your content. I’m sending love from South Africa

  • @mr.silver1614
    @mr.silver1614 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The way I stay confident is to just have fun with every situation you're in, always try to laugh or smile at the fact that you made a mistake, but remember not to laugh at yourself instead of the mistake.
    I've only recently figured this out during my school year. I'm only a freshman in high school and I decided to join in on my school's musical. For awhile I was very unenthusiastic and kinda shy, but then one day while we were rehearsing a song in the musical, our wonderful director was telling us to be as big and energetic as possible. After he said this a few times it finally clicked in my mind, and my mind said "Go all out and have fun!" Which I did and I was so out of breath when we were done for the day, however this did not matter, I wanted to keep going as far as I could and go even further than that.
    My nature completely went on it's head and it was awesome. For all my life I've been told to "Calm down" or "Shut up" and I suppose this conditioned me to be as small as possible to avoid these attacks, but now I'm rebelling against it, and it feels pretty bad ass doing it too. I'm still rather shy and introverted normally, not as much as before, but shy nonetheless. However, once I get up on stage, I take a different form, I become silly and more creative with what I do or say, and I'm now trying to get that character to be my default.
    Well... maybe not my default as I do enjoy my alone time, but to just bring that side of me out more and more with each passing day. Hopefully this didn't hurt your eyes too much whilst reading this.
    The questions we should ask ourselves shouldn't be 'why', they should be 'why not'!

  • @abbashmuel3635
    @abbashmuel3635 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Risk it for the biscuit" -- this is a saying? Very cute. Let me glean what you are getting at. I like the remark about working hard on a topic: practicing it, researching it whatever you are doing you have to make a thorough study of the topic and do some serious deep thinking about things, taking notes and finding secondary sources to support your conclusions. Yes! Confidence is built up from hard work, an investment in time and space on the topic you are working on. "A pat on the back." Yes, you've got it: one step at a time, tiny steps, celebrate little accomplishments. Be good to yourself. Realize your successes and work on correcting your failures. Another great, insightful conversation. Thank you Lana.

  • @mehedihassanturan2520
    @mehedihassanturan2520 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Literally u look like an angel.
    Besides your presention is obvious and also educative.

  • @Christian-wo4nl
    @Christian-wo4nl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    How to become confident. Grow some aesthetic eyebrows like yours

  • @g73hc3gsv3i
    @g73hc3gsv3i 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I smiled a bit when she mentioned chess...all I've been doing since lockdown is playing chess. You see, staying inside doesn't necessarily mean to get boredom if you're an introvert person.

  • @hunnz7785
    @hunnz7785 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Im loosing my confidence and i think its happened when i start to learn new things which make me afraid for bigger steps and afraid of stuffs. But im becoming accepting my flaws, im not being sad over other judgement and im getting out of my comfort zone just so i could bring myself back to track and larger road. Pray for me! Love your video!!!

  • @thedanielagalvan
    @thedanielagalvan 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I agree, self confidence is not just thinking or saying. It is making, trying, falling and trying again

  • @londonsquitebig8971
    @londonsquitebig8971 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    the timing is just so perfect... thanks lana

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks for watching :)

  • @VerenaSatriani
    @VerenaSatriani 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wonderful! Being honest to ourselves. Being bold. Put it in work. ♥️

  • @mohammedbazzi1080
    @mohammedbazzi1080 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Self-belief is a crucial topic we can't ignore, it is a must-learn skill and technique. Without self-esteem it's difficult to survive life and its challenges.

  • @stijntjebooij1497
    @stijntjebooij1497 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dear Lana, your account was exactly what I needed / was looking for. I totally recognised your 'invincible youth' - version of yourself. Nowadays I feel like all my potential is still there, but I do not make a use out of it. Because I'm scared for the outcome? Because I do not think I earn any appreciation? Because I think I should have done all those things already and now it is too late? All these thoughts are not helping at all and only downplaying my confidence. This video made me realise again that I should stop being afraid, that it does not help to only sit there and overthink everything. I am going to take it day by day, but I will get better. And everyone can do that. I feel just very comforted by your video so I think that is the reason I am sharing this right now. I truly believe that we should allow ourselves to make mistakes and not be too afraid of what the world might bring us. Mostly it's good things. Thanks so much X

  • @rostyk3502
    @rostyk3502 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Lana, thank you for your videos they really inspire me to change my life

  • @gsalien2292
    @gsalien2292 4 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Strategy:
    An martial arts master once said:
    " I cannot tell you what will work for you; I can only show you what worked for me. "
    You have to know what you are after and you have to be willing to engage yourself against obstacles in your path.
    P.S. ( The song Small Victory, by Faith No More is for some reason always a boost for me! )

  • @ToanNguyen-ri8wg
    @ToanNguyen-ri8wg 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    1. thành thật với bản thân về điểm mạnh điểm yếu hay hiểu rõ bản thân
    2. bắt tay vào làm thật chăm chỉ và tạo ra kết quả
    3. vẫn thoải mái khi không thoải mái
    4. chấp nhận và rút ra kinh nghiệm

  • @DarkHel
    @DarkHel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Lana!!! You reminded me how much I didn't have self esteem to say: "I can"!!! You don't even imagine the battles I had with my self esteem to reach a good level of confidence. My problem was "comparing" my own life to others. And you remembered me how important is to say: "you did something today, next day will get even better". Thank you so much!!!

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for watching!!

  • @lindsayjeanchannel
    @lindsayjeanchannel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great video Lana. The part about giving yourself a pat on the back for your accomplishments no matter how small they may be is so important. As a perfectionist I greatly struggle with this and have people tell me all the time to give myself more credit. Turning off that perfectionist voice inside of my head will be difficult but I feel like it has taken over my life and has ruined my self confidence. Its time I start to change that.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I definitely relate to this!

  • @cameronmendoza7300
    @cameronmendoza7300 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I really like watching your videos. I gained lot of insights and hopefully I'll be able to apply this to myself. One more thing your voice is so calming it totally reflect your soft & patient attitude. Thanks for sharing this info! XOXO

  • @intentionalliving7326
    @intentionalliving7326 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “Finding comfort in the discomfort... 2020 definitely brought the opportunity to learn this lesson... enjoyed your viewpoints in this subject Lana! I feel sometimes, lack of confidence in some area is also borrowing other definitions of us or our capabilities in some area of life... without questioning it! As in: a teacher saying ‘we are not good at... ‘ and we moving forward... years later carrying that same unquestioned definition of self...
    self reflection is so valuable! It makes our journey sweeter ✨🤗💕

  • @blankblank8563
    @blankblank8563 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I appreciate where the reasoning from your approach is coming from. It is difficult to accept any sort of advice that seems irrational and in the end, seemingly impractical. Just came across your channel, enjoying the content! And myyyy, you are gorgeous!!!