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Noah's Ark-God, Giraffes & Genocide
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2010
- Yes...the childhood story we all loved is examined (aka: skewered) with a slightly more critical view. If you think the biblical account makes sense...think again.
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The unfunny part is all this is actually in the bible and people do believe it..
of course we believe it. even if now and then we have a moment of doubt, thats just the devil who wants us to go to hell so we just brush it off and keep telling ourselves "it has to be true" over and over because we are scared of going to hell
So you believe in bullshit that makes no sense and has been proven wrong countless times, just because you're scared of a mythical place that has no evidence of existing?
This would be THE most disingenuous and selfish reason for 'believing' in any god.
I realize my first comment wasn't clear enough. I'm atheist and I don't believe this nonsense. I used the word "unfunny" because I find it very pitiful that people actually believe this BS. I don't laugh at creationists, I pity them. Is it clear enough now?
Sorry kebass, I can't tag from my phone sorry. That comment was directed at Daniel Gonzalez. I knew what you were getting at mate, I was commenting on Daniel believing in the myths ;-) .
Sorry for the miscommunication mate :-)
FalconPowerful hay, when you've had the idea of hell shoved down your throat since you were a baby it instills a fear so great that you are willing to believe anything to stay out.
What about the part where noah creates air conditioning to keep the penguins and polar bears alive?
the story gets worse the more you dive into it. two elephants eat 365,000 pounds of food in a year. they also need 36,500 gallons of water a year. two giraffes need 54,750 pounds of food a year. two hippos need 65,700 lbs of food a year. two lions need 16,060 lbs of meat in a year. Not only did Noah figure out how to keep cold weather animals cold, but he obviously figured out how to keep all that meat & food from spoiling as well. Where did they get all that fresh drinking water from? were they catching it on the boat? where did the 2 million insects get stored? all the dirt & vegetation they need?
Jay Bee Well it gets even worse. When the boat landed on top of a mountain and there were only 2 of every animal, since all plant life was crushed and drowned what did the herbavoires eat? If they're on top of a mountain how the hell could they possibly have enough air to breathe? Wouldn't many have suffered terrible altitude sickness? And all the non-polar animals died within minutes getting off the boat? Where did all the flood water go anyways? If a carnivore preys on a herbavoire wouldn't that effectively extinct a species? So would there not have been a cascade of carnivores extincting all of the herbavores before devouring the other carnivores assuming that all the other herbavoires weren't already dying from not being able to eat the vegetation that is no longer there? I mean there's some pretty large inconsistencies with reality here.
Demogorgon47 You are both overthinking it. Consider this:
-If the flood water was freshwater then the animals could drink from the ocean.
-Jesus fed 5k people with five loaves and two fish, surely Noah could use the same kind of miracle to feed the animals.
-Noah didn't have to gather nor distribute the animals, they walked back and forth aided and controlled by God.
-The windows of heaven opened, thus the flood water probably went to heaven.
-The dove came back with living plant matter. That's how Noah knew it was safe to make land. The plants could have been kept alive during the flood by God or God could have sped up the growth from seeds surviving the flood.
If God just wanted to hit delete he would simply have removed the required beings from existence. The ark and flood was symbols. Noah was almost as much a passenger on the ark as the animals.
Hedning1390 If you're gonna make excuses and pleas to miracles then there's no point in correcting me if you're gonna make it up as you go. Try searching google for The Impossible Journey of Noah's ark and read it. You'll begin to see just how ridiculous the story is. Like you would not believe just impossible it is. I always thought it was impossible but there's like hundreds of ways the story is impossible everything from wood rot to the sheer sensitivity to animals. If you have to keep making excuses as you go then people aren't going to take you seriously. It's just shifting the goal post. Magic isn't a suitable explanation for anything.
Demogorgon47 In the bible Jesus is feeding 5000 people with 2 fish and five loaves. Why aren't you complaining about how impossible that is? Or also in the bible Moses is lost in a small desert for 40 years, why aren't you complaining about how unlikely that is? Or what about his walking across the red sea? What you are doing is looking in a book full of miracle claims and somehow supposing that this one can't have any trace of miracle in it. The entire bible is a book about a supernatural being.
What I am wondering is: Why is the Noah story special and not the same as when God does everything else?
Man created God in his image : intolerant, sexist, homophobic and violent.
Old Testament God makes Satan look like the good guy
As an atheist, where do you get the standard of what is right and wrong from a world view of just molecules in motion. Who's to say what's right and wrong when it's just matter? I'm not saying you dont know what's right and wrong, I know atheists that are very moral people, but where do you get that objective standard in a world without God?
@@brianlewellen6737 People are social animals, they developed morals from the viewpoint that society benefits if you don't steal and murder, or if you help people, they help you. Those who acted selfishly would tend to be alienated from society whether it was them being exiled or jailed or killed.
Lew That has nothing to do with what anyone here is talking about. Well first of all even if God did create us this whole story is just some bull crap. Even if there was an all mighty God how do we know he’s the Abrahamic one? Who’s to say it’s not Ishtar, Krishna, Zeus, the Jade Emporer, Amen Ra, Ahura-Mazda etc.
@@brianlewellen6737 "As an atheist"
Suuuuuuuuuuuure
Brilliantly shows how ridiculous the bible is.
The bible isn't ridiculous - Pew Dee Pew.
***** Yet it was the Romans who attributed plenty of other Christ like traits into Jesus to make him greater than anyone else.
bohemianwriter1 The Romans are cool - Pew Dee Pew.
Pew Dee Pew Ever read Asterix?
Whenever Romans are mentioned, I think of the victims of the fists of these animated Gauls. It's the kid in me, I guess.
bohemianwriter1 I just get a flash of the what have romans ever done for us scene from life of brian....So apart from the aqueducts, roads.....
Who needs Satan when you have a God like this?
I would hit like a million times for your comment if I could. This is exactly what I've been saying to myself lol. This god piece of shit is so disgusting !!!
Every story needs a hero.
The Off Channel maybe satan is the good guy trying to rebel against God for freedom of all sentient beings and the Bible is a propaganda created to discredit him.
Your Father I’m an atheist but I could agree with that. If you think about it, they always say satan tells lies, but he really giving you what you want without punishment. Who’s the real gangster?
The God need Satan well he made devil
Why would a god that created the universe need a 600 year old guy to build a boat???
other than for malicious entertainment.... none
He forgot to mention that all plant life must have somehow survived longer than a year under water.
Don't be daft, there were freezers on board.
That would be acidic diluted salt water.
Well that's actually not difficult at all to understand if you know anything about botany and seed generation. This is why it's rarely brought up in any debates.
you really think any plant can survives months under tons of water, no light, and no food @@rs72098
Just had an argument with a creationist. His answers were pretty convincing:
- God can perform miracles.
- God can perform miracles.
and the best one was:
- God can perform miracles.
Not kidding. That were his answers to EVERY. FUCKIN'. ARGUMENT.
Of course that's what he'd say! You can't use logic with these people. Instead, tell him that you're a pastafarian and you believe that The Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe and that the bible was written to mislead people. Say that only the chosen ones would be touched by his noodly apendage. The ones that will not accept his holy noodliness will boil in microwave for all eternity. When he says that it's ridiculous and far fetched, just say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster can perform miracles. Just do what he does, and maybe it'll make him realize how stupid his points are.
Creationists dont reason. If they did, they wouldnt be creationists.
@@saintnash1 if he could perform miracles why need to kill almost everything. What happened to guidance, and persuasion.
Still I guess he would still have been all in for incest miracles.
@@saintnash1 that pretty much it. Though I guess we should be careful not to upset the delicate flowers who believe genocide and human sacrifice is somehow ok if some god does it.
@@saintnash1 I'm lucky, I guess, we went to church for weddings etc and we had a semi religious assembly in school most days but that is were any reference whatsoever stayed regards religion. I'd did like arguing with JWs when they knocked on the door and I took religion in school at 16 because the stories we had to selectively study where not out of the way weird, and certainly not actually anything to do with a god, more a book of mythical tales.
It is a belief system that threatens hell on the one hand, as punishment, and heaven as reward on the other. Being immersed in it early can, I suspect, be hard to escape. My sincerest congratulations for doing so.
You forgot to mention one tiny little detail in that Noah story. Gen 6:6 .. This is the part, before the flood, where God admits he is not all knowing and didn't see the whole flood thing coming! Gen 6:6 specifically states that God had regretted creating mankind. How could an all-knowing deity possibly have regrets? If he truly was all-knowing, would he not have foreseen the flood, long before he ever created man?
You see, god is speaking in metaphors...
Of course God has 'regrets'. We regret things, and we are made in His image. That's where we get our 'regrets' from.
(And our 'love', and our 'hate', our 'jealousy', our 'favouritism' etc.. The Lord God has them all).
bingola45 What does the word, "regret," mean? Without even checking the dictionary, would you agree, "to regret," something would imply that you thought it was a bad idea, something you should have not done; or, at the very least, should have done differently? In a simple analogy: if I knew then, what I know now, i either would not have done it or would have done it differently.
No matter how you define the word, "regret," it means that you did NOT know how the results would turn out, before it happened. So, all your bullshit about god's image, does not contradict the fact that this god could not possibly be all-knowing.
Your analogy serves to only strengthen my point, not contradict it. Your comments also would suggest that this perfect, benevolent being is not so perfect after all... and is, in fact, quite imperfect and flawed.
Lindsey Hale My analogy was intended to strengthen your argument. I don't know where you got the idea that I was hostile to you.
Perhaps the very act of replying is seen as hostile?
bingola45 Forgive me.
Wait a second, God created the animals right? Why would he need someone to get them all if God could just sneeze them out again?
+Avanax While we're at it, couldn't God just create another Earth if this one didn't work out? And don't you dare tell me he couldn't, he's Omnipotent and Omniscient but lazy? Great god to worship.
@@TheLowBrassDude Yeah, and imagine what a great cautionary story that could make. You see that fireball in the sky? That was the first Earth. The one where people sinned. Don't be like them.
Logic, logic, logic
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(God's head)
@RadioTSM {Operator Teddy Timis} A Warrior of Sunlight, actually.
_Praise the Sun!_ 👐
I dont think you paid attention when the narrator chastised those who use logic.
After 10 years, it is still a genuine pleasure!
Thanks, again, Seth, for being the genius that you happen to be. People DO appreciate it!
Every answer to your question: magic
@Cyrus Montanzes, This reminds me of the DarkMatter2525 video on the arc, in which the response to that is. "Why didn't you just use magic in the first place?" Make everyone good, or stop their hearts or something?
You seen it?
A wizard did it
Cyrus Montanez Then why didn’t he use magic to keep the animals alive rather than getting Noah to do something he couldn’t have possibly done by himself?
Anything is possible if you have a big bag of fairy dust.
@@chrisgraham2904 spiritual.things are not.magic...faeries.arent real. God.is real..so are his miracles, the Holy Spirit tho invisible is a real person...
No magic..spiritual things are not.magic
one person believes in something so ridiculous its called " insanity"
lots of people believe in something so ridiculous its called "religion"
Oh, I'm keepin' that one!
Or Economics
@06883 the religion of atheism darwinism
Evolution produces atheism, as a byproduct. It supports atheism. Evolution is not factual and is a theory without proof, although somethings about animal husbandry and plant reproduction are and have been at work in nature, so we cant include them in the def of the term. Evolution's millions or billions of years is still without valid proof and its claims about animal and human kinds coming out of one another, eg. 'Lucy',are unfounded and unprovèn and should not be called science, they shd be removed from school textbooks and curriculum because they do not reflect true science.
@@littyblissed2004 (See Also: Logical Fallacy - False Equivalence) Setting aside the fact that, "Darwinism," isn't a term _actual_ scientists use, there's a HUGE epistemological difference between Evolution and Religion. Evolution was already an established Scientific FACT long before Darwin ever published...because Biologists all over the world had OBSERVED evidence that led them TO that CONCLUSION. Meanwhile, the only facts that APPEAR to support Religion(s) are those that are Cherry Picked and Reverse Engineered to support the PRESUPPOSITION. One leads TO a conclusion; the other leads FROM it. Darwin didn't _invent_ the idea of Evolution; he merely figured out the natural mechanism that drives it...Natural Selection. Of course, even he admitted he couldn't explain WHY the variations from generation to generations happened. That's where Gregor Mendel's discovery of Genetics comes into play...and Watson and Crick's eventual discovery of DNA itself. Of course, you'd know these details if you ever actually STUDIED the subject matter, but it's so much easier to say, "God did it," than to ACTUALLY understand.
P.S. Not all Atheists actually accept the Theory of Evolution by Natural Selection...because they haven't all studied it either.
@@OmniphonProductions evolution with the resultant atheism is the religion of No God.
It requires way more faith than believing in God. Evolution as a religion of No God requires you to believe that 2 rocks got together and produced whats.on this planet
by themselves wth no stimulus.
Ok one of the arguments I hear from creationists is, that many ancient civilizations have a record of a flood at this time... (which is btw completely useless, because a flood and a global flood, which rose the sea level more than 8000 meters, are beyond every comparison.... but I will get to the point now)
How can there be records of many ancient civilizations of the flood, if only eight or somewhat people, survived it?
***** I worked out the rainfall rate recently....5 meters per hour non stop for 960 hours :-)
diceman199 Do you have any idea how ignorant and uneducated you comment sounds to me?
Sarmachus
I think he just wants to point out how ridiculous the idea of a global flood is, instead of promoting this idea
*****
owh also hi, I didn't noticed it was you, we already met as we were arguing against some insane religious people
Jey096 The way he put it, it is ridiculous.
God violated one of his own commandments: "Thou shalt not kill". I guess he doesn't have to follow his own rules.
Do what I say not what I do
If you read in hebrew the commandment was actually to not murder. Kill and murder are seperate things
The commandments came after Noah but yeah God did drown the fuck out of everyone
@@maow9240 And God did both in the story of Noah's Ark, as well as other places.
@@dinohall2595 how was it murder?
I missed the part where they put the 900 thousand different species of insects. That would be 1.8 million bugs. Probably half of the other creatures in the world eat bugs, but for 40 days and 40 nights it was hands off. And if one got stepped on that species would become extinct. Wait, a lot do not have a 40 day life expectancy.
The bible said that it happened, god wrote the bible, the bible says that there is a god, therefor it happened because the bible said that it happened.
And I missed the bit where they divided up all of millions of diseases and parasites that can only exist in or on humans?
Ray Miles
Noah's daughter-in-laws must have been some awful “nappy-headed hos”.
Hi. You wrote, "The bible said that it happened, god wrote the bible, the bible says that there is a god, therefor it happened because the bible said that it happened." To this, I say, "Amen!" (except you should capitalize God).
Sullykid04 i think he’s joking as well.
There you go, using logic. Plus, there's life style, for example honey bees. One male and one female wouldn't work.
The queen (fertile pregnant female) can't even feed herself. Her sterile daughters (workers) do that. Those daughters also care for the eggs she lays and the developing lava. Plus, there's all the other work necessary for a functioning hive which would require even more daughters. More than one fertile male would be required as one male couldn't fertilize all the queen's eggs, thus an under populated hive that probably wouldn't survive. In short, one queen, at least fifty to a hundred fertile males (drones) and 40K to 60K workers to insure more honey bees in the Brave New World. Almost forgot, honey bees feed on nectar and pollen from healthy, blossoming plants. They can survive, just, on sugar water, but without pollen the lava won't mature.
You know, I wonder what did those unborn babies, trees, flowers,and plants, do to be wiped out.
they were fallen angels all of them
Zach Griffith hahahaha yeah sure thing buddy, your imaginary flood never happened.
Zach Griffith k
They wuz nekkid and begatting the wrong way.
They were SINNERS and worthy of DEATH. Ask the Pope!
The Ark was bigger on the inside. Noah was a Time Lord.
OrileyOwnage Rassilon.
Timey-wimey?!?
To quote Jesse from Breaking Bad... "Science BITCH" :-)
Troubleshooter125 And stop trying to make fez's cool. It isn't going to happen.
David Manhart
Maybe that's why he switched (if only temporarily) to a Stetson?!? [grin!] Oh, and don't forget the jammie dodgers!
What's even worse is that we have so called grown ups who believe in this nonsense.
+theThinkingAtheist I am appalled as this clip came without a safety belt warning!! I fell down my chair laughing and could have been seriously injured, so I suggest putting in warning signs for safety!! ;)
Ikr?
And the whole year Noah and his family and all the animals were on the ark, no insects were stepped on...EVER!
At least the termites would have had plenty of food.
It's a Pity those damn mosquitoes got a board🤬😡
Many insects don't have a natural lifespan of a year and thousands of species are not capable of reproduction after one year. I guess Noah couldn't save them, so they are now extinct....no..wait...they still exist. How could there possibly be fruit flies trying to eat my banana?
I'm so glad I was not on that ark. That many bugs would have had me stashing a secret supply of RAID bug killer and stomping on as many as possible. Shudder...
The story is actually heavily plagiarized from an old Babylonian story of "Gilgamish". The main god basically drowned the earth to get rid of humans who were too load to let him sleep.
Should be required viewing for all Sunday school classes 16 and up.
16 and up? More like 6 and up, by 16 they have had too many years of brainwashing for logic to take hold.
@@ross-carlson true
@@ross-carlson Too bloody right. I was an atheist at six, anyone else could work it out by then.
@@toni4729 And you still think like a 6-year-old?
@@ross-carlson 6 and up? That's crap. It should be sperms and ovules that should be viewing this that's a better way to prevent all of this 😂😂
Years ago, when the internet was much newer and smaller, I found a site where someone with an engineering degree explained it would have taken Noah and his three sons over 100 years to cut the wood around the clock and close to 200 years to build the ark. They would have had to have the money of all the world's civilizations to have financed it. If he really took all the animals required it would have taken an ark as big as an island which would have taken many generations to build and there was not enough wood in that region for many hundreds of miles in all directions. It would have taken centuries for all the animals to come. They would have needed a whole other ark for the food required. It would have taken vastly more than 8 people to feed all the animals and muck out their stalls. I have been to Turkey and there is no ark there in those mountains. Most of the nuts who've wasted time looking for the ark conveniently overlook the fact that afterwards generations would have disassembled the ark for materials to build houses, barns, warehouses, workshops, other structures, fences and firewood because it would have taken a long time for trees to regrow big enough to use. There would be no ark to find because it was recycled long, long ago. A lovely story but it makes no sense in the real world.
A video that I j just partially watched said maybe Noah might have contracted other people to help build it. Yeah, right. Most people were mocking Noah. Why would anyone who thought Noah was a nut job would help him?
Lovely story ke?
How did a handful of Jews create 1 billion Chinese not to mention black people, eskimos, native americans and Scandinavians in a few thousand years? I'm guessing it was magic man again.
Incest can create crazy things!
Yahweh creates a perfect world, then ruins it and blames his creations. The perfect word of a Hebrew god.
It rained for 40 days and 40 nights? C'mon here at Galaecia we call that winter...
Well that means God hates you and tries to drown you all... better start building that Ark. :)
In Karlstad, Sweden, we call it "Summer".
***** In California we call that a work of fiction.
The video overlooks the verse that tell Noah to go to the four corners of the earth to find animals. Really god, you didn't remember you made the earth round???
One argument that I've gotten from creationalists when I say "How do you explain the fossil record and the field of paleontology?" is "It's a conspiracy by scientists to try to get you to not believe in the Bible or God. They planted all those fake fossils in the ground." When I got that response, I was completely baffled by the complete denial of facts and blind loyalty to their religion.
“ Science is not a liberal conspiracy.” Makes a great sticker.
Creationists: evolution defies logic. Also creationists: Noah's flood totally happened
consume excrement and expire, you fucking idiot.
Aig ppl proved the flood and Noahs boat are entirely possible to have happened as written in the Bible.
Macro evolution and the big bang ...are like a bomb going off in a vehicle junkyard and ppl expecting assembled trucks and cars in good operational order to spontaneously form on their own...from the bomb blast...(big bang) oh...slowly,..over millions of yrs....Does anyone else find this idea amusing?
Yes it is if you don't understand how those things actually work.
@@littyblissed2004
“Macro evolution and the Big Bang are like a bomb going off in a junkyard”
Ha ha! Love it! 😊 One of my daughters was thinking about calling her son Noah, and I literally pleaded with her not to. When she asked me why I felt so strongly about it, I explained that whilst many modern names can be found in the bible, my own included, only Noah (& maybe Jesus, although, unlike other language speakers, no English-speaking people ever seem to pick that one!) immediately makes anyone who hears the name think about this bible story, and whilst there are many ridiculous bible stories, this one has to be, by far, the most utterly bollocks bible story there ever was! And I'm delighted to report that she didn't call him Noah! Phew! 🙄
this made me 100% athiest, thank you. I can see clearly now
What took you so long?
Noah: "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all the bloated corpses everywhere."
This story gets so damn worse when you go into the logic of how the Earth could've been completely covered in water.
The highest point above sea level is mount everest, in order for water to swallow the Earth whole you would need the entire amount of water on Earth with that same about multiplied by about 4 and a half.
And then to get Earth back to it's previous state you would need to get rid of all that additional water and dump it somewhere that isn't Earth because of evaporation.
I love the way the theists say the water drained away. I normally just ask where too and how did it run downhill to drain when it's a sphere?
diceman199 Back then the earth was flat, so it just flowed over the edge.
Odd jørgensen oops....my bad....forgot about that :-)
Odd jørgensen Of course the earth is flat. I start next week as perimeter patrol.
Odd jørgensen I know you guys are joking but Vsauce did a video where even if the earth was flat gravity would keep things from falling off. So if that was ever a real Christian it still wouldn't make sense.
This was perfectly presented
HUH. ???????,BY WHO?
Let's also not forget that in those 7 months, the entire planet was under water, so all plant life had to die, too. What was left for the herbivores and insects aboard the ark? And, if there were only 2 of each type of animal, what did the carnivores eat when it was all over, without removing some animals from the entire population? (Or is that how you explain the lack of dinosaurs today?)
Where are all of these dead human bodies?
Why does the geologic record not show ANY of this?
Why do civilizations around at that time (e.g., China) not record such a catastrophe?
Why is all of this copied from previous religious myths?
Answer: it never happened.
god did it obviously
Why not aliens? Pixies? Unicorns? Shiva? Mithra? Zeus? Maybe the Loch Ness monster did it! You see, just any old unfounded answer is as good as the next. And, nothing is "obviously" if all you're going to do is assert without demonstrating how you know it.
I like the way God carefully arranged all the dino corpses below the KT layer and the larger mammals above it.
I wouldn't have a clue as to where to even begin on that one so you've got to admire the bloke. Bloody miracle.
Yup. When the absurdities get so piled up they start to fall over, just inject more magic.
Not only was the human population incested🤡 the animals were to🙉
Noah first ever Viagra user..😨
"I wouldn't let science disrupt my beliefs..."
Everything I needed to know about you, you said in seven little words.
where have you been all my life. this stuff is amazing!!!!
And the thing is, this video only mentions a tiny fraction of the many major problems with the Bible flood story.
At least it mentioned, although it went by pretty fast:
The Impossible Voyage of Noah's Ark. Google it.
give me a "major problem"
Kayle Mason A major problem? The entire story is a major problem. Read The Impossible voyage and you'll see what I mean.
But for an example, I'm expected to believe that thousands, if not millions of animals were to be fed, watered, and cleaned up after, by 8 people for a period of a YEAR?
What about after the flood? How did all the animals get back to their homelands? Kangaroos to Australia etc? How else? Magic!
dkeith45 Actually its not thousands or millions. Do you honestly think that he took one of every species!? Seriously, he took 2 snakes not 2 coral snakes, 2 dogs not 2 golden retrievers etc. And what do you think the 8 people on the boat were doing all day, sitting there? NO, they were scooping and feeding animals all day. IT ACTUALLY SAYS IN THE BIBLE THAT GOD TOLD NOAH TO GET FOOD FOR EVERY LIVING THING ON THE ARK. God doesnt use magic, for magic is wizardry which is against God. To be honest I cant answer you question on how the animals got back to their homelands, but what i can say is that adaptation happens for a reason, maybe that's how they got back, OR MAYBE IT WAS PEOPLE TAKING ANIMALS TO DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE AREA FOR TRADE! And if you think about those kinds of things while reading the bible then your missing the point. You have to look at the spiritual side of the Bible, not the obsolete things that aren't important.
Kayle Mason
LOL. Your reply in short was: We all know the Bible is BS, but let us ignore that and pretend it makes sense and believe in its claims anyway. Unlike, say, the Quran. Which is not true unlike the Bible, since I was raised in a Christian culture.
Adults should stop believing in fairy tales, and the likes of Santa, Batman and the Magical Sky Daddy aka God. Fairy tales are for kids, for God's sake,
The epic of Gilgamesh Noah’s ark is just a plagiarism of a plagiarism
Ya fired, God, for conduct unbecoming a loving deity. And drowning all the world's children and babies in a fit of rage should get you locked up in God prison for life! Oh, I mean all eternity. (How can anyone believe this stuff?)
Lol, your profile name is just adjectives XD
(nothing to do with your comment)
Christians believe that your born evil and must be lead to good.
Go to Hell God.
My favourite combination, incest, Genocide and animal faeces
Don't give me any shit crocodiles, get on the fucking boat.
The crocs would see chickens and you wouldnt have to ask them twice, lol
All carnivores were vegetarians before the flood according to the bible. lol
inability to digest be damned
My father in law believed this story 100% (baptist preacher.) He even went as far to say bacteria was first created by all the rotting animals from the flood.
"Oops, sorry about that...I've started therapy and lithium for my bipolar condition."
- God
The Bible story was taken from "The Epic of Gilgamesh', written way before the Bible, or any "Noah', or any Israelites, or any Moses.
When I was little, I had no idea about all the wrong things with this story. Now, it makes perfect sense. How did I not realize any of this before.
It's called "brain-washing", that's what religions use to get into your brain. As a kid, you don't question a lot of things because you assume your parents and family won't lie to you. Problem is they were lied to as well and so on.
When you are little you don't think about stories in that way. You hear the fairy tale of Noah and think...God is loving. You young brain hasn't developed enough to look at the story and think of the ramifications of a world wide flood. How many children, which is when most are introduced to this story, think of the effects of anything on a world wide scale?
@TheRealHachiKomatsu, Because Humans aren't innately logical. We are emotional creatures, evolved for sociality, we care about emotions and others and approval and other such social things and our intelligence and learning evolved to suit this. As a kid you trusted your parents and/or teachers and got their approval when you learned what they told you, so you didn't care. Now that you have learned logical thinking it's ridiculous. But before. . .
In the end religion proves we aren't innately logical, yet that tends to make us better thinkers.
Here's a scientific story about it: (qz.com/922924/humans-werent-designed-to-be-rational-and-we-are-better-thinkers-for-it/)
Yes..I'm an evil giraffe....I'll eat more leaves than I should, so that others might go hungry...
Logic….
Things were different back then.
What things?
Magic really worked. There was magic.
The animals were in a catatonic state. They were just packed in their spaces, no care needed. Therefore, no food or water, no urine…..
Really?
Yup….no shit!
This boggles the mind!
What mind?
The answer to all is God's 'magic'. Supposedly God is really kind of 'hand's off' but this story would mean he had a lot of things to do that are physically impossible. Magic.
The bible says that god is not magic... nor does he use it, infact its actually going against him to use "magic."
Kayle Mason
And therefore, God is against God.
Magic. Exactly. Arguing with fundies is pointless really, but necessary because it helps to show how foolish they are. But when backed into a corner, they will always hit you with stuff like this:
From the book of Job:
"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you possess understanding!
Who set its measurements - if you know - or who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its bases set, or who laid its cornerstone -
when the morning stars sang in chorus, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
Who shut up the sea with doors when it burst forth, coming out of the womb," etc.
Too long to put here because of the word limit. But you get the concept I'm sure. We weren't there at the beginning, but God was, so how dare we question him. We humans are foolish children and God can do whatever he wants, etc.
Jonathan Brown how does that make any sense. there is only 1 god. magic is a lie btw
Kayle Mason Yet Christians continue to believe God can work magic any time he wishes. I told an old, knowledgeable Christian friend once, that I didn't think God could desire an apple, and have one "poof" appear in his hand. God needed to design an apple seed, plant it, wait a few months, and then the apples would appear. At the time, THAT was the God I believed in. But he was like "oh no, all God has to do is wish something, and it appears instantly".
And then Noah killed some of the animals for a burnt offering unto god. They were spared from being drowned only to be slaughtered once they were back on land.
I think the Bible says the animals made their own way to the Ark. Nevertheless where were they kept while they were waiting to board and how long would it have taken for them all to get aboard? One estimate I heard was 30 years. Also we must not forget the Ark was only a floating vessel so when land was spotted they had no means with which to steer it there.
The more you think of this story the more absurd it gets. The rebuttals are great fun though.
Kitty BooBoo
That's what I said.
+Peter Metcalfe You atheists...even when a story has God existing you exclude him from doing anything like doing the steering of the Ark so it came to rest on land.
Did you practice your lack of common sense or were you all born with it?
Daniel Blair
That's rich coming from a theist.
+Peter Metcalfe It's what the Bible says happened.
Daniel Blair
Yes, but anyone with an ounce of common sense knows it could not have happened.
According to the ancient Hebrew story, Noah's Ark was 510 feet long,
which was too long to stay afloat in stormy seas without a seamless hull or electric bilge pumps
to pump out the seawater forcing its way though the wooden seams filled with pitch.
(From The New England Boat Builders Association)
The Ark, designed by the Hebrew god Yahweh, had neither a seamless hull nor bilge pumps
so it could not save Noah's family along with thousands of animals and their food supply
from sinking beneath the waves in the stormy seas.
There is nothing to debate.
Sorry
Does this mean I can blame all my genetic defects on Noah and God?
Forget all the giant species, how the fuck had noah collected the about 2 million species of insects? Or let´s go even smaller and wonder how he collected all the virus and parasites?
Darkmatter2525 did one of these, the music got changed by TH-cam I believe but it still gets the message across. Kittens of all cute sorts get Flooded for thier sinful lifestyles. This video is very well done and hits all points of utter logistical nonsense involved.
ctrl-alt-backspace. FAIL
actually this is a very witty part, i love the guy for it. This key combination restarts the graphical interface (or ultimately reboots when set so) of a linux system.
I remember hearing a Christian comedian who made the point that nobody would paint their nursery with the true story of the ark..."here, son,paint a few thousand more drowning people over on this side! be liberal with the blood on the side!"
God created EVERYTHING in 6 days, according to the Bible.... Couldn't he have just taken his gigantic thumb and smudged out the Universe and gone back to work, for another 6 days?
It's because he's guilty of everything he preaches against, even Sloth.
I mean he has infinite power… so why six days? Could’ve done it in a second. Could’ve created everything and everyone including their memories yesterday for all anyone knows. Worshipping your own idea of a god is like being a sim in sims and worshipping the player.
These are funny keep them coming.
Christians be like you cant take these stories Literally!
Lol, but then which stories could be taken literally? Does that mean they can choose which stories are true?
But Christians do take the Bible literally
Cherry pickers!
@Ana 57 it's called patching.
Ikr? Even Jesus mentioned Noah in the new testament (Matthew 24:37-39). Which means that he most probably took the story literally.
I always wondered what happened to all the other people with boats, did their boats stop boating? Did Noah use all the wood? Did Noah while on his tour to get animals accidentally on purpose sabotage every other flotation device?
Wasn't the floating zoo was said to be constructed of Gopher Wood?
*Where Did All The Wood Come From, Especially Gopher Wood?*
Why reboot the world still infected with 8 sinner/viruses? He should have done a wipe and clean install.
Very funny, I laughed so very much.
Thanks
"And then everyone drowned horribly"
*yaaaaaaaaay*
Hey Seth, if you update this video, perhaps mention 40 days and nights is roughly 1000 hours. It would then have to rain enough water to cover the approximately 30,000 foot high Mount Everest. 30,000 feet/1000 hours = 30 feet/hour of rain (6 inches of rain per minute) for a thousand straight hours. That would be some tough boat to withstand that onslaught.
He has enough made up bad arguments, don’t give him even more bad ones that have already been answered in basically every flood model that exists. We Christian’s are just laughing at this video
@@YoungEarthCreation I guess laughing is good because you holy people used to skin us pagans alive...as in the murder of Hypatia.
I was believing this shit my whole life 😞😢
He could of easily fixed everything by making them not evil be he instead choose to drown everyone
Or, even better, just reverse the effects of eating the fruit of knowledge, make the tree unreachable by man and then let everything play out as god "originally planned." That way there would have been no need for the flood.
I heard this story at 5 years old (Or there about) and even then I knew it was a ridiculous load of bs
Me too, at about the same age .
I know this is an old video but...Seth, you sir.... are brilliant! (just recently getting up to speed with all your content)
Satan: "God, please stop... this is wrong..."
God: "OH YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME DO YOU? GTHO!"
Satan: "...and then my dad kicked me out of His house. Sorry guys, I tried to talk him out of it."
*later*
Satan: "Yeah, again, I'm sorry you all died by drowning. You look so cold and miserable. Here, let me light you a nice fire to dry you off and warm you up."
*later*
Satan: "Wait they are saying WHAT about my domain? Why would I set my entire home on fire? Who even does that!?"
Well there's one thing wrong about this video - don't underestimate evil blind people
:o
My thoughts about that story when I was a kid: if God could create an entire planet, animals and humans out of thin air, why did he need such a dubious and gruesome solution to repopulate the planet? And did it with the descendants of a sinful population?... Why not create EVERY-FUCKI'-THING again? He's GOD, ffs!
...And yet, to this day more than half of Americans think this actually happened. God, that's fucking depressing.
I spit out my drink laughing while I was watching a video of Aron Ra explaining that since Noah's Ark only had one window, the 8 people on it would have almost immediately died from methane gas poisoning from the animals farting and pooping!
GOD is MAN MADE
You can't logically explain fairytales... All the comments here about what is wrong with it, the reasoning behind it, can be applied to the much used 'flying spaghettimonster'.
How can spaghetti fly on it's own???
simple, either by the power of laughing baby pandas or the power of beer and strippers.
Whaddya mean???? Are you implying that the Flying Spaghetti Monster ( _Prego be upon him_ ) does not exist???? O-8
Someone needs to make a flying spaghetti monsters bible.
i can give you the 10 commandments:
1 sunday = spaghettiday, to eat no pasta on sunday is a mortal sin
2 when making spaghetti, you wield the holy spatula
3 calling spaghetti mere pasta is blasphemy
4 repent your sins, the spaghettimonster was sacrificed as delicious meal to enable forgiveness
5 thou shall not murder in the name of the spaghettimonster
6 love your brother and sister who praise the spaghetti
7 spread the word of the spaghettimonster
8 thou shall not eat 2 different kinds of pasta on the same day
9 when you pray to the spaghettimonster everyday, you shall be granted a 2nd life in the holy kitchen
10 never overeat spaghetti, if you puke spaghetti, you will become ingredients for the next pasta meal
cheers
AwoudeX How should the ark story sound like? Boat out of pasta or a giant meatball? Earth drowned in ketchup, because people overused it and ruined the taste of spaghetti. Oh and it must have tons of contradictions, or none, so that it is more viable than bible.
This never stops being funny! I can't believe that there are still people who believe that bullshit.
The savages who wrote this clearly didn't think it out too well.
Who supposedly wrote the first account of this myth? And where were the manuscripts kept and then who found them and collated them?
40 days and nights of raining? Ha, that's something we Austrians can only laugh about ^^
John Hamer
I believe you :)
that is only something miracolous in regions like... middle east? It's nearly like this whole story was written by people that lived thousands of years ago in a "half-dessert" not knowing that the world is much bigger than they think... weird..
I'm in Australia- we wouldn't know what that much rain is.
*****
That's not hard to believe. Australia has a reputation of being dry...
Eis Geflüster
It's been pissing down here on and off for the last few weeks.
Everything's bloody wet. We've had years of drought and now my feet are wet.
So, we have rain just now.
Bloody climate change.
*****
Ouch, that sounds bad...
What I said was "constructive evolutionary catalyst".
The Mutation Bias theory still treats mutation as a constructive evolutionary catalyst.
Mutation destroys. It does not construct
Even in the cases where mutation duplicates genes, (the foundation for mutation bias theory) the resulting genome ALWAYS has negative consequences
It has been a pleasure having this discourse with you. You are a class act, tackling the issues and refraining from personal attacks for the most part.
Blessings.
When you make a mocking video out of it you really understand how stupid this story really is
The dung Beatles did well.
Explains how Noah dealt with the manure. But only four dung Beatles? John, Paul, George, and Ringo?
@@theevenisonproductions8924 . That was not viable, it must be at least eight. You also have to give zoo-cruise tickets to their girlfriends.
Too late half are already dead
Made my day
That's a lot of shit for two beatles.
I look at the Bible the same way I look at the Cthulhu Mythos. Please, I believe the Cthulhu Mythos more than the Bible. Just think of the Bible the same way as Greek mythology, because that's what it is.
To make matters even more hilarious, young earth creationists will insist that all animals from the beginning of time were also on the ark, including dinosaurs. Interesting how an all knowing and loving god supposedly saved all these prehistoric reptiles only to immediately have them go extinct upon arrival.
Yes and during historic times. 🌎🤩
Christers: "God made the animals go to Noah, so he didn't have to travel. He also made the animals fit and made them not need food and not eat each other and not need the bathroom."
I laughed out loud when I seen the real bananas....
Lol exactly 🤣 I was literally just saying the other day that god started this entire mess lol
Did you mention how the largest wooded boat, about 3/4 the size of Noah's "ark", was torn asunder at the slightest wave action from torsion? Not to mention it was built by actual shipwrights.
Suppose you live with a bad tooth and you know it's going to hurt when you drink water but you're not going to go without water so you find it regrettable that you have to drink water despite the pain in your tooth. It's like that but on a much much much much much larger scale. God knew that sin would compromise people and their relationship with him, but to restore those who will believe and trust in his son Jesus, it's worth all the trouble and all the turmoil in the history of the world. In other words, if you will believe, you're worth the trouble.
longer and peaceful life can only be achieved through science. so drop the act as if you're so sure that you are earning points from your god and make yourself useful.
Who on earth designed the humans to be so unworthy of life they had to be drowned? Oh yes, the elusive man in the sky! Not very clever after all.
*Where in hell(heaven) did he get the trees?*
easily my favorite video on TH-cam, great work .
And Noah obviously trudged to continents that he didn't even know existed, like the Americas. Package tours, eh?
How the hell did he walk to Antarctica? Did he have "floaty shoes" like Jesus?
Those pesky facts will get ya every time. LOL.
As a catholic, I learn that this was a metaphor, so it was never a scientific or logic problem. As a grownup, now I realize that the real problem was the moral logic of it, why not have a start over like this right after page 3 of Genesis?
The problem with an omnipotent benevolent god is that for everything that some says is morally bad you can just say “okay so why doesn’t god get rid off it?”
This was great. Anyone who believes this is a real story is not being honest with themselves.