3 UPDATES: I Organized A Retirement Party For My Dad, & He Announced That He's Handing Over The...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: I Organized A Retirement Party For My Dad, & He Announced That He's Handing Over The Family Business To My Bratty Brother, Who Hasn't Worked A Day In His Life, Despite My 5 Yrs Of Commitment...1 Month Later, He Calls Me, Begging Me To Clean Up The Mess My Brother Made & I Burst Out Laughing...
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So a little over a month ago, I (28f) threw my dad a retirement party. He was retiring from the position of the manager of our family restaurant after running it for almost his entire life. But now, he’s almost 62 and he told us that he was too tired to carry on now and wanted the business to go to the new generation. I, very foolishly, had assumed that he meant me. Since I had given the past five years of my life to this restaurant. My family owns an Italian restaurant chain and we also operate in two other locations across the city, one is run by my uncle, and the other is managed by my uncle’s daughter. However, the band that we run is the most popular one and my father is the rightful owner.
When he "learns his lesson" the father will fire her again and put him in charge.
Sounds stupid enough to do just that.
I'm thinking it will be more subtle, like him selling it and giving him the money.
Or give it to him in his will.
yeah. because daddy is a sacred P worshipper
OP needs to get their ownership stake secured on paper before agreeing to anything.
Absolutely!
I was thinking the same, th father fired the bratty brother on a whime so he might probably be able to do the same again.
OP should find the nearest competitor and make the most of it. OP should have left immediately.
If I were OP I’d be getting something in writing that the business will legally go to her.
Sometimes it takes the golden child almost killing someone to open a parents eyes. Sometimes even that is not enough.
I would only go back if all the legal paperwork was done to transfer ownership to myself so I could not be fired. Derek did not inherit anything. He was merely hired help if he could be fired. The same could happen to OP
It's a good thing for the restaurant that OP has no self respect
OPs dad comes across as a sexist AH, picking the inexperienced and unmotivated son, instead of the daughter with drive and experience. OP should really have found another job or started her own restaurant, and instead let her dad fix his own mess.
Op is too forgiving. She shouldn’t have given in, and made her dad apologize. He needed that blow to his pride.
Dad is being foolish. He made his choices. Quit the restaurant immediately! Cut contact with Dad and his golden boy. When he begs you to come back and fix his mistake just say no! If you go back get it all in writing! If it’s not in writing it never happened
Father is gonna die and leave the business to Eric. The golden child can do no wrong.
OP's dad was trying to retire from being Derek's enabler, so he tried to force OP to take over the "job" of propping her brother up and covering up for him.
Listening to the first update, after OP's dad refused to make a public apology I guessed that the next thing would be inviting OP back to just 'talk' which would turn into him and Derek ambushing her with the 'offer' of being Derek's ass-wiper (aka operate the business and clean up after Derek's f-ups, but Derek is still the person of authority over the business). Didn't turn out like that, but I didn't hear any mention of OP being given the restaurant when she came back so this crapshow may happen again when dad thinks Derek has 'matured'.
Smh, dad dies, will read, dad gives him another chance and leave the business to him. Be smart get ownership in writing!
A public apology isn't sufficient. Go out and make someone else's restaurant a massive success. You'll be tricked again by your father and weasel brother. You will have to lug that brother around for the rest of your life.
Pretty sure her dad will betray her again , he is horrible
I agree with the comments that OP needs to get everything in writing. Either that or arrange a fishing trip to lake Tahoe for Derek.
NTA!!!!! "Derek" did NOT how to run any business, let alone a restaurant.
Your the bad guy of your own story by forgiving your dad. He never loved you. He hates you.
I do not see that in favor or against it. But we would need to see more of what will happen in the future.
She is wise, when they realized their mistake, they corrected. Our generation goes NC for every mistake...why would she choose to forget any good they've ever done because of one thing? People online telling her to go NC will not be her family.
I couldn't say her dad hates her but she is a much bigger person than me. I would not have gone back to the family business. I would have moved onto another restaurant and worked my way up. I would never have trusted my father again. What an no real apology! No way.
@@Kasasi0322 because it's premeditated betrayal just like in court you get a lesser sentence if you act out of anger and end someone, versus when you plan it for a long time. She did give him a second chance at the party outside but he said F. you my son is more important than you that worked here for 5 years.
Seek therapy.
Shame on the dad. She needs to start her own thing and move on.
I hope OP enjoys the group hug and the rousing round of "Kumbaya" because dear old dad will screw her over again as soon as golden boy pretends to learn his lesson. Some people are just too stupid to learn, even from experience.
Hahaha that dad hates you and will learn its own lesson by making sure its fully backed up before ripping it out from under her again!
How do you give the job of running a business to someone who doesn't know the first thing about it?
Waiter should be fired too..
The father is so dumb. He puts less responsible son in charge and then wants a good child as a shadow manager who really runs things. If Derek has such a fragile ego, how well did he think that would have worked out.
I'm surprised it only took a month for things to go to shit. I wonder if Derek is the dads favorite. I can bet the real reason Derek left the dad and let it slip what his original plan was. Also, how can the dad just take away who runs it unless he still has majority control and never gave that up.
The fact that the dad refuses to admit he was wrong. Shows how important his pride is. I'm surprised no one quit in that time frame. Or left in general, not liking how unstable of a work environment it was.
The story illustrates one of the problem with a "family business." In the West, where there is no legal concept of a "joint family," most such businesses actually belong completely to one person, from whom the others expect to inherit: but it's completely up to him whether he sells it, gives it away, or disinherits one or more people. Family members may accept low pay or poor conditions to maintain good will in the hope of inheriting, but that is not guaranteed.
Op. Here is an idea for the restaurant. Get a building with a kitchen so you can do catering lunch/dinner and in the building, you can do parties/weddings etc.. Good luck with it all.
The Dad is the worst one he put an inexperienced person in charge who hadn’t taken any food safety classes? And then didn’t manage him and train him to boot. Yeah Derek may be a jerk but… anyone in that position would like crash
Ok, I don't know why OP went to the lawyers hearing with her father. Sorting out it should be OP father sorting out alone
If I were her, I would have looked for a job in a competing restaurant, it would lead it to a total success and my father's restaurant would got broke 😎.
Restaurant about to be sued because of Clusty McClusterfeck and OP becomes the owner. OP caught a break customer was understanding because that easily could have gotten feck up off the hook and OP on the hook.
They think that are giving the useless one a guaranteed income without realizing that it still requires work.
"He needs positive encouragement so he explores his career options".
Positive reinforcement is always a good thing, but in cases like this, that causes more harm than good for everyone involved, including the person you're "helping" because sometimes you NEED to have bad things to happen. Actions have consequences and this kind of behaviour should have BAD repercussions, not be coddled. Even then, there's no guarantee that negative consequences would even affect the person, depending on their mindset, but reinforcing the behaviour DEFINITELY teaches them things. Namely that you're a pushover.
I get the father's mindset in trying to force Derek to be responsible by making him the one in charge, but by this point, it's too late. Derek has been coddled and babied for so long, throwing him in the deep end like this is just setting both him and the restaurant up for failure. It won't make him responsible, because why should he be, when he knows Daddy will bail him out?
OP was a fool for forgiving the father, though. It's made clear throughout the story that the father doesn't care about them, only about the Favourite Son, and only gave a shit about OP and Charles when Derek cost them BIG time. Would've been better to stay NC, then sit back and watch it all inevitably come crumbling down, because the moment Derek comes groveling back, OP will be back out the door.
I'd get a lawyer to make sure the transfer is formal. OP has no idea what dad might put in his will, or worse, what her siblings might try to claim if dad doesn't have a will. Make the transfer formal now.
"You're going to be the real boss, but I'm doing this so we can build your brother's self esteem." A "real boss" has authority as well as responsibility. You, sir, wanted to strip your daughter of all authority while leaving her with all the responsibility, thus continuing the "golden child" cycle you have created.
I am confused about something? If the father had just wanted to give his aimless son some direction and purpose in life why not hire him as a REGULAR WORKER like a cook or waiter or dishwasher or something along those lines at first and have the OP be the one supervising him?
Why put him fully in charge?
If I was the OP I would have stuck to my guns about making him publicly apologize and what is more he would not be my "dad" anymore. I would put up a boundary where I refer to him by either his title like "Mr. then last name" or just his name and I would make our relationship purely business and I would not treat him as family anymore.
Op is an idiot. She's going back but as soon as little brother cries to dad that he's so sorry for what he did and he's going to do better, dad will put little brother in charge again. If dad doesn't care enough about op to publicly apologize...he will have no problem getting rid of her again.
ESH...especially OP for being weak as for "Family"
Your father put the restaurant in the hands of a fool good way to destroy your business why would you father think to put the brother before you
The brother is not serious about anything! She was serious and put a lot of work into it.
OP sucks because she didn’t have the guts to head out on her own, weakness is what I heard from her.
OP have no self respect 😂
Fathers will = son inherits the place . Bet good money on that
GET TO THE POINT TO MUCH REPEATING THE SAME BS
Dad did not think it was a good idea to let Derek run it without supervision. He thought that his dutiful daughter would be there to babysit him through the whole thing
I wouldn't go back. OP went crawling back to the reacue. Dad is going to give it all to Derek in the end anyway. Op better get something in writing or save her money and have a back up plan.
This kinda sounds like what happened between my mum and her brothers. My maternal grandmother died a week before my mum was 7 (accident) and my maternal grandfather died from brain cancer when my mum was almost 11 (he had had brain cancer since before my mum was born). My grandfather inherited a menswear store from his father (we had 6 stores around Brisbane, which at that time was considered a HUGE business). Well mums two eldest brothers (13 years older and 11 years older) just ran it into the ground, had absolutely no incline towards business and used the money from the business to fund their own pocket. Well several years later the stores went from 6 to 1. They eventually sold the last store off and each sibling got a pay out. The two eldest brother bought a house together (which they still both own), I’m unsure what the other uncle did with his money, but I think he also bought a house/ paid for his wedding to my aunt, and my mum also bought a house.
Mum is still a little salty about how it all went down, but she is close with all 3 of her brothers, so I guess it wasn’t the worst situation, but still was crap as my mum and the other brother (if they weren’t underage when both parents died) would have kept the business going and would have (hopefully) have still at least have had one store.
In high school my best friends grandmother was a seamstress, and only a few years under than what my grandparents would have been, and I asked her if she had known of the stores, and… SHE HAD APPLIED TO WORK THERE, but never got the job due to my uncles. 😂 Even though we live in the 3rd biggest city in Australia, honestly, everyone know everyone!
Sorry, just me rambling now!
Tell dad to man up or shut up!!
So the brother, Derek, is being blamed A LOT here. But this is 100% the fathers fault. Through-and-through.
He set his son up for absolute failure. That is just awful parenting. Nevermind the restaurant business; This defeat, of Derek's, is going to cripple him for life. All thanks to dad.
If you are just getting the manager job without getting an actual stake in the >family< business, you are just setting yourself up for another disappointment in the first.
It does seem like it happens almost every time when you give a job like this to a son or daughter who really don't deserve it and the business starts to fell.
I’ll never understand putting everything into a business just to give it to someone who’s put nothing in.
@@Calories_To_Calibers Nepotism/Favouritism. Pure and simple...
@@Calories_To_Calibers nepotism is one of reason even though its not always the case.
Daddy just used her as the scapegoat for his brat son.its not the son who's having to deal with the fallout it's the daughter. Stupid very stupid of her. Id make a post on the victims posts apologizing for the old management who was brought in under protest and changed things. But now the old management is back and this won't happen under her watch. Since dad won't apologize then stick it to the bro so daddy can't cover it up.
Op talks one game but does the other. She'll pay for this down the road. She didn't learn from the first time. We will hear from Op again when it backfires on her. What a doormat.
So OP works her a$$ off once more, and saves the restaurant. And brother comes back grinning for CEO Bro 2.0? Good grief!
Why do people who tell these stories, if they are indeed real, keep going over the same thing over and over again? It becomes tedious.
Golden child
No. So he gets the big bucks on my back. Screw that. Im done.
But to humiliate you in front of family and friends and employees. If he doesnt apologize the same way, it shows he cares more of his pride then making things right.
--- I wouldn't go back unless my father gives me a written statement that the restaurant would be hers. I wouldn't be surprised if OP didn't have that reassurance her dad would leave the restaurant to Derek and want her to manage it.
"he >might< have made a mistake"
Ya think?
So you are going to let your father to get away with insulting you. I would still cut him off. Tell him to not talk to you. Because i would never let my father get away without him apologize. Sure. Put it aside now. Then you get the business back on the fast track until he gives it to another person who has no clue how to run a restaurant. I would never trust him again. And until he apologized in front of the family i would say dont speak to me. Im not going to be disrespected! If he expects respect, then he owes it to you. You helped him for 5 years. He is messed up. Treating the boys better then his only daughter.
ESH! OP is a doormat & this situation just let everyone, especially her dad, that they can treat her anyway they want. Her brother & father should've been left to deal with the mess themselves. OP needs to grow a backbone or this won't be the last time she is discarded like trash and expected to clean up after them.
Anyone who just clicked in this story. Skip ahead to about 9 minutes into the videos. I’ll sum up the first 8 minutes for you
“I thought I was going to inherit the business (repeat this sentence about 10 times) my brothers an arrogant screw up, I was shocked I didn’t inherit the business (repeat about 5 times)”
I would have told him he insulted me. She told him this would have happened. You need to acknowledge that Derek needs to grow the hell up and should have to be shoved out of the house.
Why should you have to come in and clean up the mess without a public apology in front of all the people he humiliated you in front of. Then Derek needs his butt handed to him! Not just being fired. He needs to be pushed out and told to take life seriously. I wouldnt do it for anything less. Its not too MUCH to ask since EVERYONE knew that if Derek didnt take his other jobs seriously, he wouldnt do it with this. You might be the boss, but you still have rules and regulations to follow. If he had a passion its not like Daddy couldnt have started a business for him in that feild. But he doesnt show any kind of interest in anything. So the only way to make him get serious is giving him a certain amount of time to find a job. And he better take it seriously because he has two months to save and get an apartment. You have to force him to take this serious. Tough love. If you cant do that, then done complain if you are taking care of him the rest of your life and resent him.
So, he wants the business to crash and burn. I would tell him that was fine. Im done. I will leave and put the restaurant behind me. This is not how you motivate someone. You are just going to tank the restaurant.
The OP of this story really has a hard time getting to the point. She just keeps repeating the same thing over, and over, and OVER again and again about how she had never talked about who would get the business. It gets old fast.
This is a horrible horrible story about a villainous family’s issues. Absolutely horrible. OP is just as big a villain as his bratty brother and father.
Lol the dad is funny
I understand you loved the restaurant but your father's decision was a point of no return more so if your brother Derek had been successful. You should have allowed your father to fall on his own sword as your 5 years dedication to the restaurant was not highly regarded by your father. All the best but nothing in writing to your future promotion is also a red flag
I would have turned him down unless he did what i said.
10:55)An ultimatum can be a boomerang. Japan got one in WW II. They put more effort into the war.
18:43)What country? She said "rightfully her's".
Did you get it in writing about being the new owner of the family restaurant?
Why!? You dont go clean up your father and brothers messes. He cant treat you so shitty! Then expect you to save it. Hes not giving you the restaurant if you save it. So why put an effort into it of Derek isnt. Your dad had to know this was going go happen.
That's stupid. Just skimming by what your dad did. He didn't want to be humiliated? Neither did you...wtf.
Your interest in the business or nothing. Only you can save it. Give your brother a table for his dates on the house but move on .
I think it's funny in the second update the OP talks about how the dad still hasn't really apologized for what happened even though it's pretty clear that's not likely to ever happen why would it the dad already got what he wanted without an apology the OP came back why would he apologize now and an apology loses all meaning when in the very next breathe they try to justify why they thought it was for the best that's almost worse than a non apology(I.E. we're sorry you feel that way but.....) it's a way of saying sorry and not really saying sorry at the same time to appease the OP and make her compliant.
For God's sake OP, go to a lawyer and get everything on paper that you are to inherit the restaurant. It's nice that you're getting back together with your Dad but I wouldn't trust that he wouldn't stab you in the back again. 😻😁😻
sunk ship falacy
Get to the point quicker.
Do you read these beforehand? There's to much repetitive parts of the story. Do some editing!
ALL of the stories are like that. I just fast forward much of it. I am maybe two stories away from just deleting rgirl relationships from my playlist.
@shells500tutubo me too, but I think she should do some editing it is her channel.
I enjoy your stories but they need condensing.Too long winded
Amen to that. Sometimes I thought I had accidentally rewound because Op was saying THE EXACT SAME THING two to three times. Basically a 28 minute story could easily be cut down to fifteen and have list nothing out of it.
❤️👍