The Reasons I Love Fem Guys | Gay Advice & Motivation
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.พ. 2021
- to all my fem gay guys! love you all to pieces. i recently have been getting alot of "backlash" because of my femininity and needed to take 9 minutes to record this to encourage myself and others! lets continue to do this for each other!
There is so much discrimination within our own community, and it honestly comes down to being comfortable in your own skin and not gaf. Judgemental people project their discriminatory ideals onto others because that's how they truly feel about themselves. Love your content btw!
Couldn't agree more! Wish there was some magical mirror to help folks that are like that.. but I guess the only thing one can hope for is that some day they will take a look at themselves or that their self awareness one day will grow so that they can recognize that being judgmental is not the way..
And Thanks! Just like talking out loud about topics like these and having a space to share perspectives!
I also love feminine gay men. I'm not fetishizing and I can't even call it a preference. It's just that the authenticity is such a turn on. Be yourself, baby. You're sexy just the way you are.
Music to my ears, and couldn't agree more.. Authenticity is very attractive! 💖
Im straight and ive never been in love before, but the fact is you are who you are and thats that. If thats not good enough for the person you're into, let them go and you'd be glad you did.
Love this! and couldn't agree more! , Thanks for adding this!
💖
@@realgaylife just speaking the truth
Amazing video, we fems have to be proud of ourselves🤭♥️
Ab So Lutley! 💖🌟
I love my fems too I'm fully verse but I enjoy the feminine side I possess, granted it took me a minute to accept it because of the "dating app duo" (i.e. Jack'd Grindr) thought I had to suppress my feminine side in order to feel accepted and to link with a cute guy thank you making this video 😭🙏🏾
Thanks! Glad my experience and perspective is appreciated. 😇 Curious to know are there times where you feel you have to suppress your feminine side to feel accepted or link with a cute guy?
@@realgaylife OMG YESSSS
Being vers doesn’t have to do with shit lol
In my personal experience, the main rejection I faced has come from other self-hating feminine gay men, who need “trade” or a certain standard of masculinity in dating. We can embrace being feminine, but we also need to be open to dating more feminine people, because that’s what the majority of our community is. Searching for “straight” and/or trade men to validate us does not make any sense. I feel like a lot of gay men want to be treated like straight women in relationships, and that’s an issue.
I can definitely see that, I too am someone that "looks for trade" and haven't though about or looked into dating another feminine guy. Its almost as I did it unconsciously.. Thanks for your comment and perspective!
keir michael lmao you can’t say feminine men aren’t accepted in your video, if you have the same preferences for masculinity that they do. just something to think about.
There is definitely an orientation toward a masculine appearance or characteristics. Even to such a degree that being to expressing emotionally would debunk, or devalue a person who may come off or appear straight in the gay community. It does feel uncomfortable to have people come up/or express they don't mind being with you because you come off/ appear straight; honestly, there is more to me, or a person versus your desire to partake in a gay world and it be psychologically OK with you because one appears more masculine and such. Just ranting, but I totally support this video
@@amirjackson8198
It seems like gay men, younger ones in particular, are very delicate about those things and run away from even talking about them, masculine/feminine.
That's their choice but at the same time they talk about being "accepting" of others. NO, accepting is being open to it, not running from it.
@@tbecker97204 not to say that either viewpoint is invalid.
Yes hypocritical nature's could always be worked on or healed [ideally].
These things may never happen though, that is from either of our viewpoints presented more so; yet, there is nothing wrong with hoping that a growth of nature could come about.
As one who is younger, but self aware, everyone who was younger no matter their generation went through a period of speaking out, of course as you are seeing with current times and the community at large, they/we are speaking out because we have power behind our voices and won't stand for someone or something to diminish it, we know our values, and everyone is innately worthy of speaking for an addressing what they feel is of value to who they are as a soul existing at any one point and time.
Now being able to express ones thoughts openly is a beautiful thing, but yes to go behind and then diminish another's life style or way of expression I've definitely seen that even among my own peers [in which case I do bring it to their attention]. It is good to speak your truth, but it definitely holds more value if you can hold an open space for everyone around you, and who they are or [consciously] choose to present, as well as the individual who is lifting their [his/her/their] voice.
I just wanted to say thank you so much for making this video. I've been struggling a lot with my feminine identity because of all the pressures that have been put on me in my life. The only me there is to love is fabulous and feminine and seeing somebody else be so confident and open about it just makes it that much easier for me to do the same. I love you so much ❤️
Thank you for your kind words friend! and I am happy my perspective and experience could do this for you! 💖
I love feminine men
Fem here. I love u 😘
I love embracing my feminity 💜
👏🏿
Me too 😘
Its all about Choice.
Think there's someone for everyone.
For a Man like me, I am into fem. I am the man and should be the only dominant one around...
I love them fem
100%% support this!!!
Time sweet gays will be cherished is comming 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Bless be these words. God be with you.
watched this video and felt seen...
Amazing! Literally making my heart smile 😅! That is my intention, build a sense of community and just share my genuine opinion and experience being in our community..
I'm more than Ok dating a fem guy. I find most fem guys are more honest & direct in whom they are. My own fluid masculinity isn't measured by they guys I'm with
First of all u look stunning 🤩🤩🤩
And yes i do feel the discrimination with others since im persian gay boy at school and feminine as well most of those masculine guys say i dont have a dick or hurtful stuff and say u will never be loved cuz ur like this
Anyway nice video thanks for discussing about such importent thing cuz im sick of those guys fetishizing me or completely ignore me or telling me slurs and telling me to change like i accepted my body and my everything
To the comment about shorter guys , I'm 6'1 and femme and only gonna get more femme .. I feel as if I'm being defeminized because I'm taller
"I'm 6'1 and femme and only gonna get more femme" … living for this energy! continue to be your true authentic self friend! Give yourself permission to flow and fluctuate as you see fit!
Love Fems with all my heart and other organs.
You are amazing 🤩
Thanks friend.. appreciate the love! 😎
Be proud.
I agree with you compeletley!!!!! I think generally people see me as a cis gay man when im infact not. I identify as a Queer/nonbinary/gender nonconforming/gender fluid and bisexual/pansexual... and the reason i am so attracted to femmes is because of AUTHENTICITY. I have worked hard to cultivate authenticity within myself and so I know how hard it is sometimes to live one's truth and there is just something about cis masc men that will never have me believe that is their WHOLE truth. Im a firm beleiver that a well rounded and spiritually enlightened person embraces the powers of everything (masculinity, femininity, and nonbinary-ism). Masculinity may be part of cis men's truth but it always seems to come down to roles and fighting for privilege (especially when it's 2 male bodied people bc we're basically promised privilege based on our genitals). I also never trust cis masc men to not take advantage of my authenticity and vulnerability. Again and again it is the performance of heteropatriarchal roles that allows these men to believe that they are entilted to treat me in a certain way based on my gender/sexuality in relation to their gender/sexuality.
Very! well said! I have actually been diving deeper into the idea of "fighting for privilege" and appreciate your perspective on this. I never thought of both concepts together... fighting for privilege and authenticity.. I think I almost automatically go to the belief that fighting for privilege almost inevitably leaves a person sacrificing their authenticity.. thoughts on this?
@@realgaylife @real gay life. I somewhat agree... like some privileges will never change, will remain completley unaffected, for example, my whiteness will never go away, and I'm almost certain that people will awalys see my whiteness and use that to inform how they interpret my gender/sexuality, for example, my whiteness plays into some of the "twink" fetishization I experience.
As for discrimination based on my sexuality, most of that comes from misinterpretations of my gender and sex, wherein people make assumptions based on my whiteness, maleness, smoothness, thinness, and femininity/gender-nonconformity, thereby automatically placing me within a "gay" box because the heteronormative world has such few options for understanding social legibility and intelligibilty.
And fighting for privilege versus sacrificing authenticity in terms of gender performativity is very much the case for me. Anytime I'm more femme, people (particularly cis men, straight, gay, AND bi) use that against me... as if it's permission to objectify me in a certain way... usually seeing me through somekind of over-sexualized lens because they cannot control their desires, and seldom can separate their desires from a narrative that attempts to essentialize their cis-ness.
Too, part of being a male-bodied nonbinary person means that my gender fuckery is often looked at by other cis men with contempt... like I was given the perfect gendered script from birth, and if I had JUST followed it, I could have had all the privileges in the world. So, when I actively renounce my masculinity, my cis-ness, I'm often seen as highly contrived, performative, even pretentious (for the record, NOONE is more performative or contrived than anyone else... cis men are just as contrived).
So yes, on days where I act more feminine as a means of maintaining my highest level of authenticity, I have to go into it accepting that privileges WILL be revoked and that it is entirely beyond my control... and that's just the reality of living in a sexist, heterosexist, femmephobic, patriarchal society.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Specifically when it comes to being a male-bodied nonbinary person. You have definitely opened my eyes to a perspective that I have overlooked and have given me new language to understand how our experiences relate.
I am specifically interested in your experience and perspective about why you think people are unable to control their desires and separate their desires from a narrative that attempts to essentialize their cis-ness. I have recently came to this conclusion, more so in the gay community, as I have notice an increase amongst gay folks giving into their desires rather than maintaining some level of control.. this in turn has made it hard for them to find connection with folks because of their over indulgence. They have now come to a point where they see others merely to serve for their sexual gratification.
Any thoughts on why people are becoming increasingly unable to control these desires? Or why it is hard for folks to separate their desires from other narratives?
There’s nothing like non-binary
God created you as a women or men and not non-binary
Great video
Facts upon facts
Its so hard to find fem guys into other fem guys 😢
I wish that dichotomy didn't exist in the black gay world, that people could be who they were instead of having to defend themselves as being seen as more or less "acceptable."
More "masculine" guys are accused of "acting straight" while more fem guys are seen as some sort of pariah when guys are just being themselves, however that manifests for them. I don't see one as any better than the other so long as people are comfortable in their own skin and living the life they want to live.
OMG! Yes, but why is that like rocket science for some people.. 😅 I just don't get it..
I'm getting addicted to yourself only because I like watching you. This pandemic had me in a box maybe when I start getting around people again I'll be okay.
You are super cute just as you are! Keep on being YOU!!
I just found your page and BABYYYYYY! I fucking LOOOOOVE your energy. You are a FUCKING BEAUTYYYYYY! WHEW! 😍😍😍😍😭😭😭😭😂😂🥰🥰🥰👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
♥️♥️♥️
You are beautiful 💕
thanks friend! 💖
Fem, butch... it's all relative. Most importantly, just be yourself.
That's the best way to live *YOUR* life. If anyone has a problem with that, it's *their* problem.
We all have our butch/fem moments, and that's okay.
Don't lose any sleep over this, Michael.
(Anyone into older, white retired polar bears?)
Thanks for that Thomas, couldn't agree more!
i LOVE SHORTER GUYS!!!
Times have definitely changed. I am older than you, and I can tell you that when I was a young gay black boy, I did not see fem on fem black gay couples or dating scenarios. It was either masc with masc or masc with fem. All of the fem boys wanted the masc men and the masc men wanted masc or fem but with gay couples of different races? I saw fem with fem all of the time, especially among Caucasion gay couples.
I was blamed to be fem and too passive aggressive, overculculative since puberty from my friends, family members, colleagues, boss or any outer obvious, social authorities around me, so, how to deal with it ? not to mention my 22 years of pornographic, horrific past that occur since the age of 8
I'm a bisexual guy and I am masculine for the most part, I've had gay men be like "oh where have you been my entire life" and then it dies when I tell them that when it comes to guys I am mostly femenine and I prefer masculine guys
You beautiful
Thank you 😊
@@realgaylife Your welcome💕
I like natural feminine men (not acting as ancien society's stereotype of "stupid" girls. I love a strong and confident feminine traits. I like a boy with hot soft body and good ass more than a masc body and good ass lol. I think fem guys are hot in generally and cool person. And i'm fascinated by femtop, i admit this lol. Best wishes guys
Im femme
Hahaha, 'THEYRE REAL!" I have to disagree with you a little bit Kier. I know what "femme" means, but I dont think a lot of gay guys are feminine. The mannerisms and affectations are IMO exclusive to the gay community. I dont see women acting like "femme" gay men. And I dont see a lot of "femme" guys acting like girls. I think they need a new term, or better yet, no term at all. So theres that point. Additionally, Im so happy that your comfortable in your own skin. It adds to your beauty. I dont mind femme guys, i think they have a excitable attractiveness about them. And lately Ive found that are Grindr and other apps, Im noticing more and more guys exclusively seeking femme guys or trans guys. I find this very encouraging. It gives me a little hope for humanity. LOVE your channel. Keep doing what do. :-*
You don't see women act like femme men? A wise man said that Fems are actually MORE feminine than real woman.
My theory is they are so overly fem because masculinity stresses them out so they somehow use fem energy to stay calm.
#Pathetic if u ask me.
Thanks for adding to the conversation! Love your perspective per usual! And I agree! Its almost as if we "have" to put a label on it otherwise.... something bad would happen? Society is very interesting, more and more I am unlearning alot of these constructs that are taught to use to reduce the fear in others. Though the unknown can be uncomfortable and terrifying to some, i dont think adding labels to everything is the solution.. what if we just let .. people .. be.. 🤔
Again.. thanks for your perspective! You got my mind turning!
@@realgaylife 😁😘🥰
I am a trans feminine boy. I love being submissive for my man. I love to serve him. And I am Asian 5'10". Is there any chance for me to havea boyfriend who loves my feminine side if I move to western countries like US or Canada? I am afraid of living alone for my entire life! T_T Feeling so bad right now! I feel like I'm a freak and no one will want to love me...like ever...
Heterosexuals already see a male being homosexual as no different from a man playing with barbie dolls (Even when he IS Masculine) The last thing these gays need to do is actually BE a Barbie like Lilnasx. 😂
Yes, expressing any type of feminine traits can be tough! But I think there is a huge gap somewhere that needs to be filled.. and maybe that will allow things to be "less tough" and confusing for folks.. Thanks for adding your perspective!
That's my theory: a lot of feminine gay guys just gave up on being a man at a certain stage, maybe around ages 10-14, an important transformative period. It is a lot of stress, realizing that you are different from other boys, that you can't fit, so the tension forces them to abandon any attempts to qualify as a man and instead choose the only other way they know - to be a woman, or, rather, to be camp. Because, you really need to be something, don't you? So, if it isn't being a man, than it is being a woman.
But I don't know any woman, who acts natural and campy at the same time - being campy is the women's way to be fake (defense mechanism), like be overly aggresive and serious at all times is the men's way to be fake. Most women I know can be feminine in a natural way, without being campy; for gay gays feminine is basically equals campiness, because it's not what they are, they don't have it in them, or they don't know how else to express it (hint: it doesn't even need to be expressed, feniminity is something that shows itself when you forget it exists). Most women I know aren't nearly as camp as gay guys basically trying to adopt femininity. They don't need to be. They are feminine in a natural way.
So, what I'm basically saying is that for feminine gay guys being campy ("feminine") is just a defence mechanism; they need to be something, if not a man. I don't think campiness, stretching vowels and saying "queeen" or "girrrl" is natural for women either, at least not for any confident woman I know.
Do I think that feminine/camp gay guys are just being authentic? No, most of them. They are just wearing a protective mask that they don't realise they are wearing and/or not able to separate from themselves.
That's why it's annoying; not always, and not too much by any means. But I don't like people faking it, involuntarily or not (who does?), and this is my reflexive reaction. Of course, I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. Of course, I'm not going to ask everybody to act the way I would like them to. But you asked.
"It is a lot of stress, realizing that you are different from other boys, that you can't fit" I definitely agree with this point.. and Im curious to know why do you think it is that it is almost "required" for us to fit in? and who gets to determine what is in and what is "out"/not in.
I’m bi and I’m in love with feminine guys (I don’t like masculine ones 🤮)
this video and commentary is soooo confusing to me because the Mean gays are the Fems gays… atleast in my experience 😅🤣 #confused
I have definitely experienced that too.. But what i have also experienced is that this is normally a defense and coping mechanism that alot of us develop to survive..
@@realgaylife right ……but it’s still being mean to others, correct?
@@realgaylife and honestly, i dont buy that completly because you usually witness that behavior from fem gays in GROUPS, together, acting rude towards an outsider. What is the survivial mechanism in mean behavior in group company? They with people. lol
I completely agree! There is so many levels and layers to this topic alone! But I honestly agree with what you are saying. Alot of it needs to start with us taking accountability and start healing!
@@realgaylife yes so many topics to touch on regarding this life, smh
I have questions!!! I'm working on a book....you're so pretty and I love see you for you. Contact me!! I want you in my book.
Thank you so much! 💖 and yes! feel free to send an email my way ( ikeirmichael@gmail.com ) ...
Impenetrable
💖
You don't seem that fem though
Yea, I am starting to notice that being fem and calling someone fem is Very Subjective.. Thanks for taking the time to add your thoughts on this!
Hi I been watching this video today for a while , u hit a lot of same stuff I agree with , I took was in the closet when I was young by choice , cause I wanted to . I am gay , and have 20% attractive for a girl , but the attraction of a guy is much stronger than the female . I am a gay bottom , for basically white guys , the type of white guy , slim hairless but it don’t matter , top , I love the skin of a white guy cause he make me see when I look at him , just me , I am fem and somewhat masculine but not too masculine, if you can get this it turns me on something season when a slim guy is in me and I am feeling HIM pumping in an out of me , I get so vulnerable of the feelin of him inside me , and I submit. I really don’t see any attraction in a black guy as a white . I knew I was gay to tell u in middle school when white guys I was attractive too , use to rag doll me around an truthfully I like it cause it made me feel good, like almost having sex .before I go on what do it mean when they the guy gettin pounded by a guy takin his man hood . I don’t talk about other gay guys are girl cause I am gay to so what right I have to say negative about anybody . Truthfully I don’t see other gay guys like that where I am from to know what other gay guys are , I love me so much I just be me , before I go I just love this video, u really don’t know , and plz subscribe to this channel , an help me know more of gay culture, the truth it’s harder on a black and white gay couple and who talk mean the worst are black people , yeah love the channe😢what u have that that done is u being true about u an 9 times out of 10 and 99% of the time they gay themselves but u don’t know how gay are bi . Yeah love this video peace l
Be who you are sweetheart, whoever you choose to be with would be very lucky, you are so cute and sweet, love you ❣️