Ohh honey, i can’t count how many times I’ve been unseen, unwelcome and unvalued by other LGBTQ+ with more “attractive” features ( white, skinny, nice clothes, muscles, etc.). This crap doesn’t seem to ever go away unfortunately
I've been body shamed for my entire life I'm pretty much just numb to it at this point tbh so I feel you I'm surprised I haven't developed an eating disorder...
Imo this why it should be cautionary tale about why it's not a good idea to build communities around sexualities because at the end of the day what people are really looking for is this.. th-cam.com/video/7PBYGu4Az8s/w-d-xo.html not a genuine platonic connection in most cases.
Loved this video. The whole sentiment is so healthy. As gay men, culturally, we are shallow and vapid. Basically, everyrhing is surface and sexually oriented. And that distracts us from showing up, collectively, as our authentic selves. Myself, i get male attention. However, recently, I've decided to be voluntarily celibate and just stay away from men and the toxic dating scene for a minute. I feel so much happier, freer, and healthier. I still go out and dress nice and etc. but its only because it makes me feel good...not trying to pull guys. Yeah, i want love someday but it has to be someone hella special because I'm not going to put myself through the whole ordeal of the toxic dating realm.
My honest opinion is we all have a lot of fucked up ideas about what is clean or attractive. For me with all the time I spend in wild nature, I find natural scents and bushy bearded men attractive. I find that men who bathe in rivers on a backpacking trip and get naturally fit from hiking and living out side are the hottest. These kind of men are hard to find in mainstream gay culture or most of America for that matter. I engender my own confidence and attracting by emulating what I believe wild people from nature connected societies find attractive. All the other clean cut stuff fashiony feeds the corporate machine and our insecurities. I came out in 1990. It was more conformist then in gay culture. I pleased to see more folx out here willing to step outside the domesticated colonized mindset in lifestyle and fashion choices
This is an interesting topic. I currently experience this emotion of feeling lonely and attaching it to attractiveness. Some people say I am attractive and yet it doesn't mean a lot in real life. I am very self-critical and self-aware about my flaws, which makes me anxious and shy in the public. Some stares and smiles have a negative effect. Wish I knew how to make friends in this community regardless of looks.
I'm 41 and I'm alone and will be alone until I die. I have been called attractive at points in my life, and part of me believes I was. But I'm not now. I have had a hard life full of mental health problems and trauma, and faced so much stigma. I have tried my best to do what I can to be the best me that I can be, but that's not enough. I am unlovable and undateable and am have certain things about me that are repulsive, and nobody, especially a gay man, will tolerate. I was raped 12 years ago, and contracted HIV from that rape. People tell you U=U, nobody cares etc etc, but they do, and in my experience the men that don't have HIV won't touch me with a barge pole. The ones that have HIV, and that is a much smaller pool in an already small pool, won't date me because of the state of my mouth, which I can't fix. It has been destroyed because of bulimia, and everybody is disgusted by it. I've been told I can't have implants because of my gums, even if I could afford the £30,000 to do it, which I in no way can. It is hard to be this way as all I want to do is be held, and to love someone. But I won't be. Some people aren't meant for this world, and I am one of those people.
@@silvianajones4421 Thank you. I've had therapy all throughout by life, and have battled with persistent depressive disorder and severe anxiety since childhood. There have been many kind people, including good hearted strangers like yourself who have helped me, but there are things in this life that they can't change for me, physically and mentally, and ultimately I know I won't find anybody to share my life with, and I can't do anything to change that. Of course we can all improve, and learn and grow, and I'm constantly told to love myself. But I've spent nearly 4 decades trying, and no matter what, I don't, and I won't. It's not true though that you can't love anybody else if you don't love yourself. I have, and I do. Anyway, thank you, I know that's not what you're saying, but I am unattractive to all because of various defects, and I think it's better to acknowledge that, rather than going on year after year in false hope. I wish you all the best in any case for 2024. Take care.
Please hear me, First stop saying horrible things to yourself, just stop. Say positive things about yourself. That’s where your problems is, your belief about yourself is negative and it’s false.
You have to be 1. WHITE, 2. Good looking, 3. Physically fit, and 4. Young and the gay community will love you even though your personality sucks. Period.
Thanks for your honesty on this video. I’ve found the gay community to be very superficial at times as well even though many will try to claim that it isn’t.
My childhood was full of rape, emotionally and physically abusive parents. I came too far, built confidence, a personality, i tried to heal, or at least learnt to cover my scars so well. I'm attractive to the most. I make good money. Everything seems fine from the outside. But I'm so alone in where I'm in my life right now. I can't build connection and trust with anyone. Completely focused on my career and escaping from every genuine interaction, I'm very creeped out by people, i feel like a total sociopath. My fabric is not cut for any of this. Sometimes i think i should've been dead a long time ago. I'm just a ghost of who i used to be, before all the trauma, achieving things so the inner child can rest in peace. I hate the inner child tho.
I am attractive, I don't need to do anything as my genetics is amazing but I'm lonely... Everyone thinks I'm super cute and get all the eye contact I want and actually like but I can't find a partner in a mutual way... Not yet at least ..who I like don't want me or don't have the courage and who likes me ,I don't want... My personality is genuine, not fake. I'm authentic 💯
Because we need to be more humble with people that use to approach to us, usually , we put ourselves on a pedestal and then judge them. So will be a neverending story. Also "amazing " genetic comes in many ways. So the problem start on your attitude maybe.
I’m really happy you’re talking about this. I’m nonbinary and queer. Think I’m attractive, but definitely feel very insecure still and queer loneliness because I do see how attractive gays get attention. Or even just base level interest which even sparks amazing friendships. I don’t know, I’m sad and lonely. I’m definitely attractive, but it’s just disheartening to see others immediately get attention, care, or empathy first because of their level of attractiveness.
I'malmost 29 but people think that I look 21-25. I'm a feminine black bottom and I'm androgynous to the point where people go back and forth with calling me a girl and a guy or just a girl.. my mom went with me to a job interview and the lady said hello to me and said to my mother, "Oh hi you must be the mom, is this your daughter." I was like 😳 my mom told her yeuh he gets told that a lot lol. I use grindr but it's just a mess. Guys like my bubblebutt but most of them say they cannot meet up or they do but they'll live in California while I live in Massachusetts.. 😅 I'm so lonely, and I just want a bf so I can sit in their lap and watch movies or learn something new and study science and play music together. I'm in a rock band. 🎸 I found your channel because I'm a black bottom and I am sick of the stereotypes that black men have to be.. you know what and white men stereotype wise are you know what.. I wanted to see those roles change regardless of race/ethnicity. Sorry for the rambling 😅
I’m a 31 year old masculine black man that just discovered I’m flixisexual this year. It means I’m attracted to people that are feminine or androgynous but never masculine. I think it’s amazing you’re a black male that doesn’t confirm to the “status quo” about what you and I are supposed to talk/look/act/dress/walk like etc. There shouldn’t even be an etcetera…but it exists. I’d definitely try to date you if I lived in Mass lol but I don’t. Take heart! Someone out there sees you at least.
I like this video so much like you spoke so much truth!!!! I would love to do a podcast on this video. May I please use it as a reference in my show? I will tell you in it and that stuff , the proper way basically LOL Just wanted to get consent.
I suppose I was attractive when I was young because I never had any issue with attracting men. That said, now that I'm far older, I'm so completely ignored that I find myself thinking, "Am I even gay anymore?" You wonder what the whole gay thing ever meant to them, to you, to life.
The cure is be less picky and forget what people think about you and your partner, is a shame when you have a friend and he dont wants to show his partner because is not too white, omg we deserve our loneliness
there is no such thing as "being attractive" ! aethetic beauty is like art, in the eye of the beholder. it is a subjective perspective, not an objective fact. Duh.
@@RadTrashed should you really care what other people think? the only thing that matters is YOUR OWN estimation of yourself. If you see yourself as beautiful, you are. It's completely 100% SUBJECTIVE. Just like Art. If you don't know that, you might want to figure out what Pride is all about ....
If every gay man is complaining about being single and not finding companionships, who then is in an actual relationship. The amount of complaints I see is just alarming. The lgbt community need to do better.
Ohh honey, i can’t count how many times I’ve been unseen, unwelcome and unvalued by other LGBTQ+ with more “attractive” features ( white, skinny, nice clothes, muscles, etc.). This crap doesn’t seem to ever go away unfortunately
I've been body shamed for my entire life I'm pretty much just numb to it at this point tbh so I feel you I'm surprised I haven't developed an eating disorder...
Imo this why it should be cautionary tale about why it's not a good idea to build communities around sexualities because at the end of the day what people are really looking for is this.. th-cam.com/video/7PBYGu4Az8s/w-d-xo.html not a genuine platonic connection in most cases.
Loved this video. The whole sentiment is so healthy.
As gay men, culturally, we are shallow and vapid. Basically, everyrhing is surface and sexually oriented. And that distracts us from showing up, collectively, as our authentic selves.
Myself, i get male attention. However, recently, I've decided to be voluntarily celibate and just stay away from men and the toxic dating scene for a minute.
I feel so much happier, freer, and healthier. I still go out and dress nice and etc. but its only because it makes me feel good...not trying to pull guys.
Yeah, i want love someday but it has to be someone hella special because I'm not going to put myself through the whole ordeal of the toxic dating realm.
My honest opinion is we all have a lot of fucked up ideas about what is clean or attractive. For me with all the time I spend in wild nature, I find natural scents and bushy bearded men attractive. I find that men who bathe in rivers on a backpacking trip and get naturally fit from hiking and living out side are the hottest. These kind of men are hard to find in mainstream gay culture or most of America for that matter. I engender my own confidence and attracting by emulating what I believe wild people from nature connected societies find attractive. All the other clean cut stuff fashiony feeds the corporate machine and our insecurities. I came out in 1990. It was more conformist then in gay culture. I pleased to see more folx out here willing to step outside the domesticated colonized mindset in lifestyle and fashion choices
This is an interesting topic. I currently experience this emotion of feeling lonely and attaching it to attractiveness. Some people say I am attractive and yet it doesn't mean a lot in real life. I am very self-critical and self-aware about my flaws, which makes me anxious and shy in the public. Some stares and smiles have a negative effect. Wish I knew how to make friends in this community regardless of looks.
I'm 41 and I'm alone and will be alone until I die. I have been called attractive at points in my life, and part of me believes I was. But I'm not now. I have had a hard life full of mental health problems and trauma, and faced so much stigma. I have tried my best to do what I can to be the best me that I can be, but that's not enough. I am unlovable and undateable and am have certain things about me that are repulsive, and nobody, especially a gay man, will tolerate. I was raped 12 years ago, and contracted HIV from that rape. People tell you U=U, nobody cares etc etc, but they do, and in my experience the men that don't have HIV won't touch me with a barge pole. The ones that have HIV, and that is a much smaller pool in an already small pool, won't date me because of the state of my mouth, which I can't fix. It has been destroyed because of bulimia, and everybody is disgusted by it. I've been told I can't have implants because of my gums, even if I could afford the £30,000 to do it, which I in no way can. It is hard to be this way as all I want to do is be held, and to love someone. But I won't be. Some people aren't meant for this world, and I am one of those people.
😢😢
Every living thing in this world is lovable,you too. Maybe a therapist can help with your depresion
@@silvianajones4421 Thank you. I've had therapy all throughout by life, and have battled with persistent depressive disorder and severe anxiety since childhood. There have been many kind people, including good hearted strangers like yourself who have helped me, but there are things in this life that they can't change for me, physically and mentally, and ultimately I know I won't find anybody to share my life with, and I can't do anything to change that. Of course we can all improve, and learn and grow, and I'm constantly told to love myself. But I've spent nearly 4 decades trying, and no matter what, I don't, and I won't. It's not true though that you can't love anybody else if you don't love yourself. I have, and I do. Anyway, thank you, I know that's not what you're saying, but I am unattractive to all because of various defects, and I think it's better to acknowledge that, rather than going on year after year in false hope. I wish you all the best in any case for 2024. Take care.
Please hear me, First stop saying horrible things to yourself, just stop. Say positive things about yourself. That’s where your problems is, your belief about yourself is negative and it’s false.
I'm so so sorry sweetheart it's truly a sad world we live in I hope you can find your peace and happiness everyone deserves their happy ending ❤
You have to be 1. WHITE, 2. Good looking, 3. Physically fit, and 4. Young and the gay community will love you even though your personality sucks. Period.
Thanks for your honesty on this video. I’ve found the gay community to be very superficial at times as well even though many will try to claim that it isn’t.
My childhood was full of rape, emotionally and physically abusive parents. I came too far, built confidence, a personality, i tried to heal, or at least learnt to cover my scars so well. I'm attractive to the most. I make good money. Everything seems fine from the outside. But I'm so alone in where I'm in my life right now. I can't build connection and trust with anyone. Completely focused on my career and escaping from every genuine interaction, I'm very creeped out by people, i feel like a total sociopath. My fabric is not cut for any of this. Sometimes i think i should've been dead a long time ago. I'm just a ghost of who i used to be, before all the trauma, achieving things so the inner child can rest in peace. I hate the inner child tho.
I am attractive, I don't need to do anything as my genetics is amazing but I'm lonely... Everyone thinks I'm super cute and get all the eye contact I want and actually like but I can't find a partner in a mutual way... Not yet at least ..who I like don't want me or don't have the courage and who likes me ,I don't want... My personality is genuine, not fake. I'm authentic 💯
You should go to more gay clubs
So relatable😅
Because we need to be more humble with people that use to approach to us, usually , we put ourselves on a pedestal and then judge them. So will be a neverending story. Also "amazing " genetic comes in many ways. So the problem start on your attitude maybe.
@@AndresLopez-j6oput this on a billboard
PREACH!!!
I’m really happy you’re talking about this. I’m nonbinary and queer. Think I’m attractive, but definitely feel very insecure still and queer loneliness because I do see how attractive gays get attention. Or even just base level interest which even sparks amazing friendships. I don’t know, I’m sad and lonely. I’m definitely attractive, but it’s just disheartening to see others immediately get attention, care, or empathy first because of their level of attractiveness.
i love your videos and how you speak on real issues that we face as a community.
Thanks friend! Its like i cant help but to speak in it 😅
I'malmost 29 but people think that I look 21-25. I'm a feminine black bottom and I'm androgynous to the point where people go back and forth with calling me a girl and a guy or just a girl.. my mom went with me to a job interview and the lady said hello to me and said to my mother, "Oh hi you must be the mom, is this your daughter." I was like 😳 my mom told her yeuh he gets told that a lot lol. I use grindr but it's just a mess. Guys like my bubblebutt but most of them say they cannot meet up or they do but they'll live in California while I live in Massachusetts.. 😅
I'm so lonely, and I just want a bf so I can sit in their lap and watch movies or learn something new and study science and play music together. I'm in a rock band. 🎸
I found your channel because I'm a black bottom and I am sick of the stereotypes that black men have to be.. you know what and white men stereotype wise are you know what.. I wanted to see those roles change regardless of race/ethnicity.
Sorry for the rambling 😅
I’m a 31 year old masculine black man that just discovered I’m flixisexual this year. It means I’m attracted to people that are feminine or androgynous but never masculine. I think it’s amazing you’re a black male that doesn’t confirm to the “status quo” about what you and I are supposed to talk/look/act/dress/walk like etc. There shouldn’t even be an etcetera…but it exists. I’d definitely try to date you if I lived in Mass lol but I don’t. Take heart! Someone out there sees you at least.
@@TallGlass-fh8qf My pictures are on my community page a week or two ago
Real talk. Love it.
I appreciate your commentary. Thank you!
I like this video so much like you spoke so much truth!!!! I would love to do a podcast on this video. May I please use it as a reference in my show? I will tell you in it and that stuff , the proper way basically LOL Just wanted to get consent.
I suppose I was attractive when I was young because I never had any issue with attracting men. That said, now that I'm far older, I'm so completely ignored that I find myself thinking, "Am I even gay anymore?" You wonder what the whole gay thing ever meant to them, to you, to life.
Lmao If that statement was true I wouldn't be single. When was the last time I had a date? Hmm let me think yes .... 15 years ago. 🙄
The cure is be less picky and forget what people think about you and your partner, is a shame when you have a friend and he dont wants to show his partner because is not too white, omg we deserve our loneliness
Not too white ? I don't t it
The cure is to leave this toxic community behind and learn to cultivate a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.
Beautiful eyes!
Unfortunately yes to a large extent
there is no such thing as "being attractive" !
aethetic beauty is like art, in the eye of the beholder. it is a subjective perspective, not an objective fact. Duh.
bs
@@RadTrashed
should you really care what other people think? the only thing that matters is YOUR OWN estimation of yourself. If you see yourself as beautiful, you are. It's completely 100% SUBJECTIVE. Just like Art. If you don't know that, you might want to figure out what Pride is all about ....
You're so gorgeous!!! What make-up do you use?
so true !
off topic but I adore your teethhhhh. thanks for the viddd!
Sadly it is
Love ❤️ ur videos. You look fantastic 😍 🎉
If every gay man is complaining about being single and not finding companionships, who then is in an actual relationship. The amount of complaints I see is just alarming. The lgbt community need to do better.