How to Meet Guys In Person and Not on Grindr (3 Easy Steps) | Gay Advice
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ก.ค. 2024
- 3 steps to meet guys in person and not on Grindr.
Ok so the first step is pretty obvious.
DELETE your Grindr profile!
And not just your Grindr profile,
Delete your Jack’d, Hornet, Tinder, delete all “dating apps”
If you really want to start meeting guys in person and not on Grindr or these other dating apps,
You must go all the way .. full cold turkey!
Having these apps on your phone makes them an easy option to just revert back to your “old dating ways”
Which you are getting away from which is why you clicked on this video.
Second step is to write out all of your hobbies and interests that require you to actively engage with others.
What do you like to do?
What excites you and makes you not want to pick up your phone?
And does that hobby or interest allow you to engage with others?
Perfect example for me and one that i would like to suggest is an #LGBT Event.
And no this does not mean the gay club, drag shows, or any of that stuff.
But events that happen during the day and normally don't involve alcohol.
I normally go onto facebook events or eventbrite and just start looking at events happening this weekend. Normally a handful are lgbt related and they range from comedy shows to lectures to performances.. You name it.
I love to support my community with my attendance when I can.
I love to learn other people's perspectives and experiences in our community.
And three .. it allows me to be around a safe and affirming environment that allows me to express myself limitlessly which is a very liberating feeling.
Step number three.
Actively Engage.
So my video Why Don’t I Get Approached by Guys
( • why dont i get approac... ) Goes more in detail into this topic so check that video out if you need more help in this area.
But this step is key!
You must learn to not fear failure or rejection and learn to actively engage and approach guys.
Once you delete the apps and find places to meet people.. The most important step is to engage with them.. Talk to them..
I highly recommend watching my video where i talk about this as i go more into detail.. But I will give you this one tip.
Before you even approach a guy. YOU MUST BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER.
Once you have that anyone that you approach is no longer intimidating and it no longer seems to be “that big of a deal” because you know that you are a great person, that you have a lot to offer.. And if they choose to pass on you. It's their loss and will be someone else's gain.
Delete the apps, find places that engage you and give you the potential to engage with others, and ENGAGE.
Repeat this process redundantly and aggressively.
Imagine, if you spent all the time that you spent on #grindr in the past three months really implementing these steps for the next three months how much more differently you dating life would be!
My intent is to help the gay community to live thier best gay lives!
It is what I intend to do and strive to do.
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And remember to be the change you wish to see!
#LiveYourBestGayLife - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
I also suggest, not being afraid of your masculine energy. There is a science to meeting other men and finding a boyfriend.
What does that mean? Like what happens if you are naturally a little feminine?
Unfortunately I don't have any masculine energy . And this won't work for most trans/Intersex people
Never did the apps, and blessed. In fact, apart from TH-cam, i don't do social media, and i feel my life is better for it. There is just too much racism, antisemitism, and ageism online. But, even those that seem perfect don't feel good enough. It leaves a lot of body issues, depression, and emptiness. Great video.
Absolutely! I have come to find that each one of us has an individual inner process to go through to get our "good enough" .. thanks for the comment friend! hope all is well on your end!
@@realgaylife thank you 👍
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes sir glad somebody said it thank you thank you😅😅😅😅
All of your advice is good; you are insightful and you are encouraging high self esteem. Great job.
Thank you for the feedback! ❤️
This is exceptional advice and really resignated with me at the moment so thanks for uploading. You seem like a very down to earth person. Thanks again!
Awe! Thank you for that ! Just speaking my truth and stating my perspective!! ❤️❤️
Need it bad
U
Thanks for the ideas, I stop a few days ago because they were either closet chases or lived in another city, and we know town of town relationships never work... plus a lot of military scammers claiming all the same story line... it's like all real LOSERS on these apps plain and simple... you game me some great ideas my thanks
Glad you were able to gain something for my video friend! 💖
Yes cause grindr done grinded away at my energy.
Ugh! The sad truth and reality that many of us have faced!
I don't want to sound creepy I hope you will apreciate this but you have wonderful eyes !
thank you friend 😇❤️
I agree ... you on right track
Thank you for your content 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thanks friend for your kind and encouraging words!
I so appreciate you’re videos
Thank you thank you 🥰
well said!thank you
I love this video! You REALLY deserve more subscribers... Glad to have found you! 😍
I'm so fed up with dating apps...
😇 thanks! That just made my heart flutter 🥰 .. and yeah.. these apps! are a very interesting challenge to say the least haha! which is why i don’t necessarily encourage folks to use them.
bro. this was an AWESOME video.
i can't believe it didn't get more traffic and likes. checking out your channel now. : )
Thanks for the great feedback! tbh I am just looking to help one or two people with similar struggles as myself! But only time will tell how much greater the impact can be | will become
Thank you for this video. I didn't know it but I was looking for love...
no problem friend! Glad it helped! 💖
to true, I was on Grindr with nothing more than hook ups. I met my partner at a business event. We both have the same advisor and after the meeting I asked if we could go to dinner at a restaraunt that donates to non profits on mondays. We've been with each other 3 years now
Love love love this! ❤️
Excellent commentary and sound wisdom. The time, thought, and effort you put in is clearly evinced by the quality product 👍🏾💯👌🏾.
This should have at least 100k views.
PhilemonXIV Thanks for your kind words! And yes! Speak it into existence! ❤️
yeah i'm real surprised it doesn't have more views!
I like your advice, sure it works in the US or the UK, Germany, etc., generally in those countries having LGBT rights protection.
Living in Eastern Europe makes Grindr the safest option.
Never thought about that.. thanks for adding that perspective. Nice reminder that Grindr does do positive things !
This is true. I have lived in countries like that. I find that usually the online culture is less toxic because in those places we need each other.
@@ayorkii No, it's still toxic. But it's the only thing we have
@@Andrzej451 …yes. I didn’t say it wasn’t toxic … just that it’s less toxic. There are many countries where you can actually log on and have 15 conversations, if you like. Find out about a guy’s interests … ask his name. Exchange pictures … and I mean exchange which means you send them one and they send one back. There are other countries where it’s so toxic that you send a picture and they send you something fake or they block you because you asked their name or other super toxic behavior. It’s not the same in every country.
love me a bit of Grindr I can't lie
Lol.. I mean it does serve a purpose.. idk.. just seemed like whenever i wanted something more it didnt help fulfill that purpose haha.. and from what my friends tell me.. its almost impossible to find more that a hook up/ fwb on their.. 😬
Good advice bro.
Thanks! I appreciate it!
@@realgaylife You welcome
The problem is we are limited to only going to LGBT events if we wanna get a boyfriend, i don't think there's an lgbt archery club or an lgbt gymnastics class xd
True! I know here in Columbus OH, Stonewall has some options like kickball and dodgeball.. Do you have a branch near you? (Stonewall Branch)
@@realgaylife thanks I'll have a look at that
Make one
Imma start my own gay bearded club 🤪
Excellent advice! I'm into volunteering and being active in the community. How do you meet guys if you don't have a car?
Anything local to you/ in walking distance.. like a improve class, yoga class, painting, library groups that meet up regularly? First things that came into my head.. hope that helps friend! 💖
Thank you! You have beautiful eyes
Lol. You all are so sweet! Thanks friend! ❤️
Gospel
Go girl
😇💖
Ugh! Fine. I'll delete all the apps... right after one more quick search...
I downloaded Grindr last year just to see how was it like. Well, I deleted it after some days ^^
Still, I can understand people who download the app. Where I live these events you talk about are really rare, and in other parts of my country (Italy) maybe don't even exist.
Btw, since I never had a date in my life and having come out since some months, I think I will try using Tinder and Facebook Dating when it will be possible to meet people more freely. They look a little less hook-up-focused than Grindr.
Would definitely encourage that... and I know this may be aggressive and alot.. But I would also encourage you to relocate! To me, I rather live in a place and space that is affirming and that I can feel apart of. If you don't have that in your current location (a sense of community, which you might have), I would encourage you to travel and find that sense of community. I am actually in the process of doing that myself. Columbus was great for my early 20's as all I wanted to do was date and party and mingle and be a social butterfly. Now I am working more on myself so that I can be of use to others and add a genuine contribution to the community. Thanks for the honest comment and insight!
@@realgaylife thank you for the advice! I recently contacted the LGBT association of my town but unfortunately live meetings are not being held yet because of the pandemic. But yes, I actually would like to relocate but things have been even more difficult lately in this sense. I have to think about finding a good job too.
Actually, even if I'm your age or maybe older, the idea of interacting with other gay people was never an option for me and I would love to live this new part of my life in a... very natural way. :)
Hey there, was reviewing comments on this video and stumbled on our conversation.. hoping things might have eased up where your at and that you were able to find a meet up to be consistent at! 💖 Nonetheless.. Happy New Year!
@@realgaylife happy new year to you too!
Well, I have indeed relocated and using Tinder I had two dates. One of them has become a relationship, that has been going on for some months now!
Things have become tough and I don't know how long will this relationship last, but still, such a big change since my last reply here
@@zingapore4007 OMG! that is amazing, Love celebrating growth and folks personal progress! but yes, maintaining the relationship is a whole nother ball game! My partner and I just celebrated 3 years this past December. it has been three years full of love but coupled with a lot of tough uncomfortable conversations. i truly think that clear, honest communication is the biggest skill we have develop to keep the relationship alive. any advice you can extend to myself and others about maintaining longevity in a relationship?
Dude you are handsome 🤭
Thanks friend.. 😅🙂
partway through, but a Q i always have is how do you find the other gay people at things like "paint and sips" or whatever? short of wearing pride stuff - which can be uncomfortable. they say we're 1 in 10 but i swear ta god, sometimes it sure donn feel like et.
Talking and mainly Listening.. I wouldn't lead with "are you gay" I would just genuinely get to know folks, you never know what it could lead to and the connections you can make.. In addition, there are more orientations than just gay or straight. So even leading with that mindset | idea might limit you to other folks of different orientations that you might hit it off with!
I love you
Me being the only openly gay man in my town watching this video: 👀
Actual Problems with these
1)The people on the events are the same people as on Grindr, so yeah nothing good will come out of it.
2)Most people don't have bobbies at all. And the part of engaging doesn't work if you are poor, like most people are, uninteresting, unattractive, or have nothing to offer whatsoever.
3)The so-called activists on LGBT events usually are already partnered, or extremely experienced, or they sell themselves extremely high aka out of your league, for you or too unwilling to start something new
The Only Real Solution (apart from a "losers meet up with losers" app) That Can Actually Work Is That Someone Will Fall In Love With You!!!!
The Only Relationship That I Had In My Life Started Like This. I had to end it for Reasons Beyond My or His Disposal
thanks for adding this! 💖 definitely a perspective I haven’t heard yet, and *needed to hear* ! 🤔
i am very interested in your perspective about people not having hobbies and not being able to engage due to their financial circumstances, being uninteresting, unattractive, or have nothing to offer. how did you come to this conclusion?
@@realgaylife listen up let's say that I go to an event, then the rule will be to at least buy a beer . But when I am broke and one step away from homelessness despite working my ass every single day (yeah life outside the US is like this) I can't really afford the beer or anything else that the rest of them might want. So I come off as poor (which I am tbh) and people don't really like that. Then again they don't like my clothes (old and out of fashion)
So they will be happy to keep away from me unfortunately
@@realgaylife if I could choose a hobby I'd like to be able to play football ⚽ with the other boys, and go to K-pop concerts but one of them charges and the other one yes is free but, as I am extremely poor to have a health coverage, I can't risk it, If I break a leg for example I will lose my job, plus sports here aren't the best place to meet other LGBTs.
i hear you, and what you are going through definitely sounds tough (not to put words in your mouth). thank you for enlightening me with what your experience is outside of the US.. im curious to know.. (of course not to invalidate your experience) but are there a good amount of other gay men in your country that experience similar things?
@@realgaylifeJust one unfortunately, my boyfriend ❤️ to whom I am talking to almost every day and I hope someday somehow we get to meet again. He left this country to work abroad with his family, and I miss him terribly. I tried to find other guys here but to them all I am a weirdo 😂🤓and not an option .
Also it depends a lot on what you are trying to find . I am not looking for 1night stands at all. I guess finding sex is easier.
But I am only looking for non-closeted (well at least not 100% closeted because coming out is something continuous and sometimes extremely tiring) LTR oriented people .
"If you spent the amount of time that you spent on Grindr these past three months, [...] implementing these Steps for three months straight, your dating life would look drastically different"
Me, who never even installed any dating/hookup apps, live in a small town with no LGBTQ events, doesn't have a driver license and have hobbies that does not remotely need interactions with people: Are you sure about that?
Can you elaborate on the Facebook/event right?
Sure, sorry if it was not clear enough.. maybe I can make another video.. What specific questions do you have, or would like for me to further elaborate on..
Guys just want one thing it’s awful I want to actually love the guy before I go there 😅
Yea, it can be tough. Where do you typically go to look for or find guys to date?
It’s so true. Where do you find someone who wants true companionship?
So what about country who do not have gay right
That is a really tough one. The most present thought that I have is to look into leaving your country.. though I know that may not be and immediate option.. I would personally take daily steps to make it happen if my country of origin is not safe for me to be..
Someone's not from Connecticut. I had to move to a city to find boys.
😅 I am not, I guess that is something that I take for granted living in a city, we do have a plethora of options and more opportunities to connect.. That's definitely a perspective I haven't heard much from or know much about. Is engaging on the apps there the main way to connect?
Connecticut is literally so tragic I cannot wait to move out of this state lol
Several pictures…many of them have Black men in them … I don’t think I saw any of them with any Black on Black love. Nothing wrong with Black people loving themselves and each other…as well as others in the community.
This is motivating because Jack’d is full of guys just wanting sex and it’s bogus to me smh
What if I just want sex? are those apps safe?
I've never had sex with a man before and I just don't want to get into a relationship just yet
I need gay help
Grindr is Jesus
Ting!!!!!! As soon as you said Columbus I knew you could be of no help to me as a BLACK man looking fo for another BLACK man to date. That city has got to be one of the gay whiteist places ever in Ohio Out side of cincinnati of course, Cleveland has a better balance of black/brown spaces.
😅 yes. I have been told tht a couple times now. Haha. Its funny. Im so used to it i didnt even know it was a thing. But..Sorry i couldnt help! Anyone know of any other TH-camrs that could help our friend?
Step one don't be an introvert
😅 awe man, I did not think about that.. haha, what about the introverts!
Yeah I don’t think a trump rally would suffice
😂 .. you never know. stay open minded! the universe may surprise you and me both!
Years ago I ran into a couple that met at NASCAR, so anything's possible.
Creepy old men... what about camp black men then?