The idea that "you're only empowered if you have a career" was about escaping abuse and having your own money. They also talked about paying women for unpaid labour. As person who had to escape violence, having a source of income was super important.
@@zapkvr I have three degrees in it and teach it at a university. If I did misunderstand then, hot dang, what a huge waste of time! I started my undergrad when my oldest was 5 years old and finished my phd when he turned 23. Think how many years I wasted reading more people than Betty and Germaine! Could have saved a lot of time and money. My poor students. I'll let them know!
Explain. How exactly did feminism cause TH-cam? Are you suggesting women didn't write books or have any public reach prior to feminism? How tf did prohibition happen then?
That’s how basic and small their understanding of how half the population that is not Christians live their lives. Their world is so small, and lovely and covered in Gods light that they can’t even bother apply empathy to those around them let alone those that they deem below them. I don’t know why they don’t just question their own view points against the quality of the God that they believe in? If your God has certain rules you can just choose to only do the good things that your God said to do in which case I think the world is a better place. I don’t know why you have to do the shitty things too just to prove your God is right. Why can’t you just let your God handle that after we meet him and have solid evidence, and maybe then we could voice our beef with the lack of evidence he left us with.
Lol these ladies are living extremely modern lives that a Victorian woman could only dream of 😂 all of these benefits are from progressive values and feminism
@@funicon3689 In society yeah, it did, the fact that they can choose to work or not, the fact that they can vote, the fact that they can spress their opinions online, and many other privileges that only man had, it was all brought by faminism
Yes it has, @funicon3689 , it's helped create legislation that allows women to vote and it had been used for reproductive health rights, anti-discrimination laws, better understanding of social issues and intersectionality with other minority groups, etc. Trolling ain't a good look, sis
Feminism literally states that it’s end goal is the destruction of the nuclear family. Feminist ideology has definitely affected American culture though for sure. Way more kids who feel unloved, broken families. Relegated men tone depression eternally. Obviously abortion. Woohoo let’s play around with sex. There are no possible bad side affects of that. Sorry dudes for the night suicide rate
I find it interesting that they believe a woman MUST cook, unless the man loves cooking and wants to do it, but a woman doesn’t have the option of having a career she really loves. Funny how the gender roles can only flex if a man says so.
I was just thinking this. Taking their logic, we SHOULD be able to say that a woman doesn’t have to work outside the home, but she can if she enjoys it. But I never see people like this making that argument.
@@jennconrad6068you know what else I don't see? I don't see people saying that when I woman works and she is married,she is HELPING the husband with financial stability,but when the husband is also cooking and taking care of the children,they say he is helping the wife, as if the duty of cooking and cleaning was attached to the woman when she was born
These women are privileged in that they have not needed their own source of income to escape abuse. I have nothing against stay at home parents or spouses, but there’s a reason women fought so hard to be allowed to enter the work force.
Precisely. You can't escape abuse if you are financially dependent on your abuser. Having access to and controlling your own money (and body, property, and custody of your children etc) is very important for women's liberation. It's not just about "girl bossification" - and even then, there is still a discussion to be had about equal opportunity and pay in the workforce, as well as the glorification of the capitalist grind, and virtue being directly tied to one's productivity (which is very much a Protestant ethic).
Well said. I became disabled and unable to work full-time. My marriage also became abusive and leaving has been very hard. I'm out now, and in the separation process, but the inability to make my own money is unbelievably difficult.
Adding: they actually still have their own source of income via their ministry and business ventures. Bethany has an entire Instagram account dedicated to teaching SAHMs how to make money lol
@@Parrot5884 They’re very privileged. Having your own source of income helps you to escape abuse. I’m happy for them that they don’t need to do that, but I sometimes think they forget why women fought to be able to go to work.
@charlleedodson, I know quite a few women who want to slap the feminist in the face who fought for a “career oriented women” I’ve heard them say it myself. Not all women feel the same way about this stuff.
Newsflash for them, god didn’t make kitchens. Not even in their book. He made a garden and two gardeners. Everything beyond chapter 3 is the result of sin. By their rules.
I always hated the feeling that the people in church expected me to help out in the kitchen. I'm fine with helping out, but to be expected to do is terrible.
I remember the looks I got from family if stayed seated while the womenfolk cleared the table. The men just sat there talking about Very Important Things. It always felt wrong, even as a believing kid. The women just made this whole-ass meal, and you're just gonna let them clean up like they're your servants?
Yeah i cook in the kitchen but im not expected to because i only cook for myself. I could see a family taking turns at cooking/cleaning, or at the very least have each person have something that is considered "their chores", like laundry,mowing, vacuuming ext, i understand if one person works alot,but i feel like the should at least take out the trash/ once in a while home repairs if the person that works less/not at all, because they end up taking care of most of the house chores. This might just be me but i feel like distribution of labor should be fairly split depending on the effort expended to be the breadwinner, but that doesn't mean the breadwinner just gets to ignore things that need done.
It’s really insulting to the woman of the past and even though they didn’t want to they fulfilled their role of raising the kids the right way. Not like modern woman who just do what ever they want. I don’t even see how a marriage could work like that. I guess it doesn’t people divorce all the tim now. I have so much respect for woman of the past. Putting children first and not just alway thinking what is good for them. Now woman kill there kids for getting in the way of there autonomy
Why can't the kitchen be empowering for people in general? There is something very satisfying in making something delicious. But why do we have to gender and spiritualize it? 🤦
TBH I wish I had more desire to cook. While I am relatively healthy despite my eating habits (call me "blessed"), those habits are quite poor and eating is always a chore.
It's facinating to see them complaining that taking care of the home is undervalued, which I totaly agree with. But they accuse feminism when the true criminals are the combination of traditional gender roles and sexism
This this this My mom is a feminist, and also was a stay-at-home mom who took amazing care of her family and home and has traditionally feminine hobbies like sewing, baking, and gardening. She's never denigrated the role of homemaker as a feminist - she'd also agree homemaking is undervalued and that probably comes from embracing the kind of feminism that recognizes and validates the contributions of women to all aspects of society.
Exactly! Feminism does not view homemaking as an obligation, which immediately increases its value. It changes its status from something that you are expected to do and therefore deserve no reward for, to something that you are doing in spite of no expectation, so you deserve a reward for it. Think about all the things we do out of obligation - Are we even thanked?
@@earthaforester3141 yup. And that's why the majority of head chefs in restaurants are men. Society deems roles that men fill as "valuable" and worthy of pay. Meanwhile, women who cook in homes are underpaid (in the case of domestic employees) or unpaid (eg. stay at home mothers).
Sounds like they are assuming that unmarried women don't cook, entertain others or care for themselves and they need to be told to do these things just in prep to transition to marriage.
It's absolutely wild how un-fundie Bethy and Kristin's opinion on that is. Their definition of being "a Single" is pretty secular. Singlehood for fundie women and girls usually ends when they're married right out of high school. These young women are already raising their siblings, caring for the house, cooking for their family, etc, before they move directly into their husband's home. They're not actually ever single...just pre-married and then "A Married."
Might be just the "worldly" unmarrieds who don't do the housekeeping -- I bet stay-at-home daughters are still a big part of the evangelical Girl Defined culture. Even though they try hard to look hip, they're still homeschooled and prone to repeating all the Christian regressive talking points -- drink raw milk and bone broth, LGBTQ identity is sin, strict gender roles, minorities are scary. Gotta keep them wimmenfolk sheltered at home. That way they don't get spoiled before a good Christian man takes ownership of them.
The whole section about how the husband really likes to cook but she still does the majority of the work feels like a way to reassure the audience that they're actually still biblical no really I'm a biblical house wife who submits to my man please keep watching
@@polaris_draws Oh no, are vegetable gardens not manly? Am I actually foresaking my God given role by growing tomatoes and beans!? I'm going to have to give this some deep thought.. /s
In the section about letting the husband cook if he wants to, I picked up on the idea that they think the wife still has to be in charge of the mental load and the shopping/budgeting and likely the cleaning, but the husband can just do the fun parts that he actually wants to do and leave the rest.
Absolutely - their model of men contributing sounds like "if he likes it, when he wants to" like Marie Antoinette playing peasant in her palace gardens. They don't have to think about all the day-to-day grind, just breeze in and do it when the mood strikes and then bounce. It's not *nothing* but it isn't nearly the whole picture.
Yeah but what happens if your wife is a bad cook and your husband loves cooking. What then? Plus this whole thing that Cooking is gender specific is so backwards.
re: your point about cooking not being gender specific - you can tell how backwards it truly is if you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, because then you know that while women supposedly “belong in the kitchen” when it’s cooking in their homes, but the second that kitchen is in a commercial space suddenly the kitchen is a man’s kingdom and women don’t belong there because apparently they “can’t keep up” with the men. So yeah, cooking is only “women’s work” if it’s unpaid. It’s almost like gender actually has very little to do with what you’re good at and these people are mad purely at the idea of women existing for something besides being house servants for men. Or something like that.
I'm fantastic at cooking but being fairly attention deficit and having an appetite that can go into hibernation for hours while I paint or make music, other people in the house might want to know how to feed themselves.
The patriarchy is rigid for a reason. It evolved, consciously and unconsciously, to keep men in positions of power. Women staying home, tied to raising children and keeping house, kept them out of the public forum, uneducated, unaware - except though what gossip they could trade or if their husband told them anything, which he was usually discouraged from doing. These women have been brainwashed into thinking the patriarchy is in their best interest, because "God" wants it that way, and they will get into heaven if they obey biblical rules. It's very sad.
@@zapkvrIt wasn't good no. It's painful and it only allows females to be less than human, more of a farm animal, and not worth anything but what she can endure as far as pain.
That's an interesting point that GD only talk about what people SAY feminism is to them, but don't actually give real life examples or quotes of real people because they can't. I think they do genuinely believe in what they're saying. I just wish they'd do more research into what feminism actually is.
Yeah! It goes beyond being a strawman because I think they lack an intentionality behind the misframing of what feminism is. They just truly believe what they are saying
@@virtualprimatologist because I think their language is deliberate. That's why I disagree with Drew and Taylor that they don't know what they're talking about because I think the point is that they're deliberately misframing feminist language in order to convince right wing conservatives that they are the real feminists. You see this with other culture war issues on how conservatives have convinced themselves that they're the real anti establishment group. The reason I bring up the former allegation is because of how milquetoast their descriptions are when it comes to women empowering themselves while not saying what they really mean which is tied to the bible and the patriarchal power structure found within their community and household.
And yet the irony is that the reason they are able to have a platform on TH-cam and have careers where they can preach at conventions and release books is because of feminism and the woman that have come before them
I swear, the idea of God speaking through other people has infected their entire concept of conversation ("they" being many Christians in general). They never seem to absorb the things said by non-Christians from the source, only from third-parties, like they have to be spoken for by someone else similar to God. To an absurd and aggravating degree
Unfortunately right wingers, authoritarians, and religious z€@lots still force their views onto other people and those even make it into the law of many countries.
Define normal. People considered this stuff normal for thousands of years, so it's not surprising many still do. Are we the weird ones for wanting to change, wanting progress? Perhaps being weird is sometimes better than being normal! When I tell people I don't believe in a god, they often think I'm very, very weird and not normal. But to me, I'm being rational and using my brain to seek out the evidence-based truth. Normal or not normal? It's quite a question.
@@kumaranvij by “normal”, I mean people who simply discuss these things and do what works for them based on real-world factors. Not based on some ancient fictional book written by only men.
@@SatansBirdLawExpert Well, look up the definition of the word normal. I think perhaps a different word would be a better choice to express your meaning.
The way you two talk to each other is so healing to hear. Thank you for covering these topics in a way that clearly comes from compassion. It’s lovely to see
Yes, I agree! My husband is very compassionate and rational, but I sometimes have a very hard time engaging him in interesting conversation. It seems like Drew loves it, so I"m jealous. Of course, we've been together twenty years, and he used to be a little more forthcoming. Sigh.
The amount of times that they acknowledge that the way they live their lives sucks is baffling. They're constantly admitting that this is hard and it sucks and it goes against their wants and needs, but God said it so we gotta do it! Do you even hear yourselves???
It's not "do what you want", Bethany, it's "do what's healthy for you". That may not be "whatever you want", but it most certainly depends on you and your situation.
I suspect that Dav's deconstruction has changed things a lot at home... but that's not going to stop Bethany from dictating what Christian women should do. And being able to cook is empowering for everyone. Feeding yourself is pretty important. Edit: I do appreciate that, with what seems to be every thing a Christian woman *should* do... Bethany and Kristen assure us they don't like it, they struggle, but it's God's will so they just have to suck it up.
I was really interested in the conversation Dav and Bethy had about the Barbie movie. Dav was talking about how it's OK for the husband not to always be the leader, and the wife doesn't always have to submit. Bethy was going, "No, no, women should submit," while giving him a look that basically said, "Hey, buddy, stay on brand, I have courses to sell." Like, yeah, we all know she doesn't really submit to him. But the idea that, in theory, she could submit to his will by exercising her independence really intrigues me.
But he didn't leave Christianity. I am SO confused as to why he said "now that Dave left Christianity." Like......Dave never said that. You can deconstruct without leaving your Faith. It's about figuring out what the true base for your faith is. Not leaving it altogether
@@Orion_TheyThemDav is athiest now. He even made a joke telling Bethany "surprise! You did it with an athiest!" 😂 He said he left Christianity in the video he and Bethany put out with his announcement essentially that he'd been struggling with faith since before he got married and he said he basically just forced it for years because he loved Bethany and knew it was important to her. He said the shame Christianity gave him just made him miserable and he didn't want to be miserable anymore. He also said he reD the Bible multiple times and came to the conclusion he didn't believe in it. Bethany was actually pretty supportive and sweet in that video, just saying that she enjoyed being Christian and she respected that for Dav it wasn't working. But he still goes to church with her and the kids, and they said they're ok with the kids asking for either of their different opinions on things.
If anything, I think it might make Bethany double down more, because her husband is not a traditionalist Christian he’s an atheist, she could be living vicariously through her audience and what she imagines the impact of her words to be.
It's not lost on me that what the man enjoys here is the cooking that's been defined as acceptable in a man's realm - smoking meats and cast iron cooking. I'm not a fan of *That 70s Show* but I remember Red Foreman once saying "men grill". If a man enjoys steaming vegetables, or putting together casseroles, and certain other things then his manhood should be called into question.
Single parents are laughing at this as they have to do it all. My mother was a single parent since I was two. There was no sex division of duties. We worked and got it done.
Yes, definitely. - My mother internalized a lot of these pressures as a single mother in the US South. She felt like she was doing poorly by us because she couldn’t home school us. Because she was working to keep a roof over our heads.
Cooking is a life skill that as many people as possible should know how to do! It can also be a way to be creative and enjoy the process of seeing a recipe go from ingredients to final dish.
Personally, I prefer seeing both of you in the same frame - it's more fun, I think, and you just look nice together! - but I am more than OK with watching any setup whatsoever as long as it is comfortable for you to record in. Cheers! :>
My Dad is a better cook than my Mother. He's the one who makes Christmas Dinner and Easter Dinner every year. He's also the one who made the Sunday Roast every Sunday. And his Chocolate Trifle is so delicious that I asked him to make it for my 18th birthday instead of getting my a birthday cake and he did! It was amazing.
Sounds like my father. He always did holiday dinners. When he was working my mother cooked daily meals to save him time, but after he retired my mother almost never cooked.
Their real issue seems to be with...capitalism and the patriarchy, ironically. "Domestic labor isn't valued as much as working outside the home for a salary!" Babe, that's because the Patriarchy doesn't value "women's work" and capitalism doesn't value unpaid labor! (or rather, capitalism runs on unpaid labor, it LOVES unpaid labor, but the laborers themselves are stripped of power and esteem) Any feminists urging women to work a wage-earning job when they would rather be a SAHM or SAHW might only do so because those women are at an extreme economic disadvantage if they ever lose their husband's support/income.
Its fascinating the flirting with feminism but not quite. They both dye their hair. Do they know what blonde hair was traditionally associated with 70+ years ago? Or how hair dye companies played into the feminist movement to encourage more women to choose their hair color?
@@chilltheheckoutwithava1454 they both look like they're growing their natural hair right now, but the one on the right seems to have highlights, the one on the left seems to have died endings and in earlier videos both of them definitely had their died a very light shade of blonde that very few people keep naturally into their adulthood. Either way, I don't think it's a great point about hair dye as such being somehow feminist (whatever the companies used to say) - but I do think it was hypocritical of them to go on about modesty and "not leading men astray" while dying their hair and using makeup, painting their nails and dressing in a way that (for many people in many religions) would still be very immodest. They were playing into the image of what "godly" men are supposed to find appealing (so their look was very much designed to appeal to men, therefore potentially tempting). And yet they'd probably say that "oh no we're so modest but we just ENJOY wearing make-up" - as if it's okay for them to enjoy something that makes them attractive, but if other women enjoy short skirts and stronger make-up, then it's wrong and they're doing it exclusively to be desired by men. Basically they set their own standard for what they consider modest yet enjoyable, and every woman who doesn't adhere to it is doing something wrong (luckily, I think they've moved on from that somewhat, but only partially). I do agree with the OP's general point that everything about them shows they reap the benefits of feminism and make quite feminist choices for themselves and their families, and yet their whole business hinges on denying it!
In this season of my life I'm a stay-at-home dad, and you have no idea how much I need to hear affirming things like you both say 25 minutes in. Thanks for putting wind in my sails today :)
Yes, I can't believe the fact that women can't lead men in 90% of Christian churches hides in plain sight like this. We need to point it out. It is blatantly sexist and outrageous! Same thing with women changing their last name to their husband's last name, and giving their kids his last name. Everyone does it, and it's simply the emperor wearing no clothes - everybody acts like it's completely logical and normal. But it is plain sexism. That last one often "gets me in trouble" because so many women have done this, and feel attacked when I say it. But my goal is not to attack the women that have done it, it's to attack the idea itself. We've all been raised in the patriarchy and have acted accordingly. We need not to attack each other, but make change for future generations - in this case, hopefully starting very soon.
@@mallninja9805 Yes. The Christian churches, like other religions, "hides in plain sight." Everyone accepts, few people question, the blatant sexism of the fact that in 99% of cases, only men are allowed in leadership roles in the church. We as women need to start talking about it. Freedom of religion does not mean we have to accept sexism.
I’m a Christian and my husband does most of the cooking he gets home first 😂. We split all duties, even the “women” ones like laundry. I hate that people use Christianity to push women into only one role
There is a great book I read in the 90s called "Beyond Beef," quite ahead of its time, that has a whole section on this. Men wanting to grill meats, together, as if it is some sort of manliness-confirming ritual. The subconscious connections to hunting and killing animals.
I think even if Dave’s deconstructing was a better influence on bethy, possibly triggering a deconstruction of her own, I doubt very much she’d admit it. It would ruin the girl defined business/livelihood.
Heck, I do the vast majority of the cooking and dishes in our home, even grocery shopping, and my wife handles all the finances, taxes, etc. But don’t come at me with “you’re a soy boy” or whatever, because I’m a black belt in taekwondo and a brown belt in Shaolin Kung fu and have done full-contact sparring.
@@CharlesPayet We would like you and respect you even if you couldn't do "full-contact sparring" and had no belts, Charles! And "soy boy" is a silly epithet that exposes the people who say it as very ignorant. The soy bean is a hell of a bean! Tofu is delicious when prepared well, and very healthy.
I'd like to point out that even they say "oh, it's OK for your man to like to cook" they mention specifically male coded food rituals like grilling, smoking meats, and cooking ribs, but I wonder how they feel about men who like to bake cute pastries. Or vegans.
im going to be honest, I just get the vibe from them that I wouldn't want either of them in the kitchen. they're so vanilla white bread i'm getting an image of "dinners ready, I made a mexican quiche" or something. like im just picturing the moooostttt vanilla food imaginable lol.
Damnit, I'm so sick of Christians being obtuse about things that are very clearly stated. It's never been about homemaking being lesser than a career; it's about homemaking not being the only acceptable option.
An amazing book is "Fair Play" where the tasks behind running a house and caring for a family are spelled out in (often overlooked) detail and how women's time, culturally, is [not] valued. An example that relates to the video is how her husband helpfully "suggests burgers" so she then does the labor of fitting it into the meal schedule she's made, makes the shopping list according to sales/ coupons/ dietary restrictions/ favorite brands the family has, gets the groceries, checks the weather, prepares the side dishes, possibly even preps the meat, notifies her husband when it's time to start, sets the table, calls everyone to it, cleans the dishes, etc. etc. and hopefully doesn't have to remind her husband to clean and put away the grill.
This is so impractical. Most families require two incomes and that already cuts down on family time. Rigid rules instead of flexibility would never work for us. My husband prefers to cook, but I do it if he has to work late because that's what gives us more family time in the evening. Why they're so stuck on a book of rules instead of what works best for two individuals with their own preferences is ridiculous.
I need to hear more from Drew and Taylor on Anti-natalism. I personally consider myself more of a “counter-natalist” in that currently most people consider “natalism” good and I would say probably it is inherently neutral but in many current particulars situation it is bad.
I don't mind the antinatalist concept, I understand the "appeal", but some antinatalists scare me a little, they seem too focused on other people's choices to the point of flirting with mass sterilization.
I think when GD says “that’s what we chose”, for example when they talk about staying home with the kids instead of working full time, or cooking even though it “doesn’t come naturally to them”, because they want to perform for their audience that even though they were raised with a religious expectation that these are your roles in a marriage they “choose” it. It’s purely performative and, maybe, a psychologically, a coping mechanism for them. If they don’t really want to do these things, but they’re expected of them and they literally preach it to their audience, then they have to tell themselves, and their audience, that they “choose” all of it.
I like you being together in the same room. I wish these type of people would realize that feminism is not anti-man or anti-traditional, but more about encouraging people , both male and female, to pursue roles that they want.
“Looking well to the ways of your household” is indeed very open ended. The phrase could even be a call to appraise whether one *belongs* in that particular household - or should divorce!
Since you asked for feedback: I like this setup for the video, the other one looks aesthetically nice but I prefer seeing you both in the frame together. The split screen kinda makes it feel like it might as well be a Zoom call haha.
If you want to just have food, let me cook it. If you want something GOOD, let my husband cook it. He does 99% of the cooking at our house. Always has. We both work, the kids are grown now.
These people seem very removed from institutions like slavery. It's interesting how they can interpret all these verses about being a noble woman without considering the historical aspect... slavery was common. Women were property, etc. They seem to brush all that under the rug.
Y’all are young; I am almost 60. My mother was a feminist and a homemaker, so that has been a thing since at least the 70s when she was raising me. The idea that a feminist having to be a breadwinner, that is a straw-man argument created by the opposition.
In the 1950s TV series, The Honeymooners, there was an episode about how underappreciated a house wife's work was compared to her husband's. Ralph thought that Alice was always lazing around at home, so she insisted that she get a job and they hire a maid to do the housework. In the end because nobody would agree to do all of that work as their job Ralph has to beg Alice to go back to doing the housework. I'd say that in the 1950s some people were already aware that someone keeping the home as their job was just as hard as a job.
I like seeing you guys in the same frame because when one of you is talking the other is always looking so attentively, it's really sweet 😅 I wonder if a split screen would be possible? Like a side-by-side (I'm not sure what it's called). P.S. that blouse is really cute!
Whether it's gas-lighting or self-righteousness, there's something to be said about how the people advocating for "traditional" / limited roles also often support economic policies that make it difficult for many to even to do so.
Even Bethany and the other one complain about how hard all this is. Why would I do constant labor, especially when it’s unpaid? Just because god wants it? Shouldn’t life be more than work, work, work, suffer, suffer, suffer. The biblical god hates his creation, and yet “loved” us enough to sacrifice his son.
About the topic around 14:00 in - I can say as a fundie Christian I *chose* to marry my first husband in the way a mugging victim *chooses* to hand over their wallet to someone holding a weapon on them. In the same way, I *chose* to stay through the abuse. My point is, in fundie Christian culture women don’t get a lot of choices. We’re brainwashed to think that we are making our own choices when really, if we were to choose the “wrong” path according to our pastor, parents or husband, we would pay dearly for that choice. So much so that the only real choice that we can live with is to comply.
While I agree that women should not be forced to be in the kitchen, women who really want to be a traditional stay at home mom or a woman who tends the home should not be ridiculed. Some women really love doing those things.
It's telling that they keep repeating that their work in the kitchen is "their choice" over and over again (methinks the lady protesteth too much?), but they also keep repeating how much they hate it and how thankless it is. Sounds super empowering.
Cooking empowers me bc it gives me stress relief, it allows me to be creative, it allows me to show my love to others, and I love seeing the faces and hearing the sounds people make when I’ve made something good
Y’all point out how Girl Defined projects their views of gender roles onto scripture, but they’re spot on when the husband gets up to make the coffee. That’s straight out of the book of He-brews
Couldn’t help but notice that Bethany immediately goes to “-like grilling?” A way to prepare food that is potentially viewed by some as more ‘masculine’. I wonder what the response would be if one of their husbands just truly had a passion for baking and decorating cakes and cookies. Like, is that equally okay with them? Geez Louise 😮💨
I have such an urge to join their "Biblical community" as a sleeper agent and inject some critical thinking into the discussions and see how long I can be in it without being booted out
Great video Taylor, and Drew on the girls defined. I love cooking in the kitchen. But when I was growing up my dad cooked the most of everyone in the house, because my mom was working, and didn’t like cooking too much at the time, so he took over the cooking and he still cooks, a lot to this day. Out of everyone in the family he cooks the best. Because of him I learned how to cook.
When I was 10, my father tell me that I need to learn to cook, laundry and other household chores... He said you need to learn those in order for me to know how to do those when I have became an adult, as those are essential skills.. And he also said that you need to know those things "so that you can do it yourself and not be dependent to your wife or girlfriend to do those stuff" and to not expect your wife to know those stuff, hence the need to know to do those stuff... But plot twist, I'm g@y and now I know how to cook, clean and do other house chores🤣🤣🤣
A know few people these days that don't have at least two incomes just to make it from week to week. I will never understand this idea that life is a straight line that needs to be followed and then repeated.
Look, I know the whole "OMS, I got a Christian ad before your video" is a bit played out, but I just got an ad for a prayer app from Mark. F**king. Wahlberg.
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The phrase "Women are meant for the kitchen" implies men are meant for the kitchout and intersex people are meant for the kitchenbetween.
haha yes
Fair enough. Makes sense.
This caught me so off guard after getting 3/4 of the way through, its way funnier than it should be.
Kitchween!
is the kitchout the grill? because that checks out ngl
"it's ok if your man likes to cook as long as it's grilling meat, smoking meat, meat meat meat meat meat"
It's because he's into cast iron. Lol lol lol🤣
So true, for people like them. My husband cooks and bakes almost every day for our vegan family of five lol
Its ok as long as its actually edible
Almost nothing makes me feel more full of manliness than meat in my mouth
@@zefugainspe Don't give him that non-stick! That's not manly.
The idea that "you're only empowered if you have a career" was about escaping abuse and having your own money. They also talked about paying women for unpaid labour. As person who had to escape violence, having a source of income was super important.
Also, THEY HAVE A CAREER. Their content is inherently hypocritical.
It wasn't that at all. Friedan and Greer barely touched on abuse. You have understood second wave feminism
I don't think it's right for any female to sponge off a guys hard work. She should have a job and pay her own way in life.
@@zapkvr I have three degrees in it and teach it at a university. If I did misunderstand then, hot dang, what a huge waste of time! I started my undergrad when my oldest was 5 years old and finished my phd when he turned 23. Think how many years I wasted reading more people than Betty and Germaine! Could have saved a lot of time and money. My poor students. I'll let them know!
@@Rosaedoralol no no silly, there are only 2 second wave feminists. That's why it's called second wave. Because there were two of them.
It’s incredibly ironic that they hate on feminism but feminism is the very reason that they have their TH-cam channel.
It’s like they never read the dictionary definition of irony
Explain. How exactly did feminism cause TH-cam? Are you suggesting women didn't write books or have any public reach prior to feminism? How tf did prohibition happen then?
@@SeanWinters i think you misunderstood what they were saying...
@honeychill3011
Willfully so, considering the "muh booze" lmao
That’s how basic and small their understanding of how half the population that is not Christians live their lives. Their world is so small, and lovely and covered in Gods light that they can’t even bother apply empathy to those around them let alone those that they deem below them. I don’t know why they don’t just question their own view points against the quality of the God that they believe in? If your God has certain rules you can just choose to only do the good things that your God said to do in which case I think the world is a better place. I don’t know why you have to do the shitty things too just to prove your God is right. Why can’t you just let your God handle that after we meet him and have solid evidence, and maybe then we could voice our beef with the lack of evidence he left us with.
Lol these ladies are living extremely modern lives that a Victorian woman could only dream of 😂 all of these benefits are from progressive values and feminism
its actually from technology. feminism hasnt created anything
@@funicon3689 In society yeah, it did, the fact that they can choose to work or not, the fact that they can vote, the fact that they can spress their opinions online, and many other privileges that only man had, it was all brought by faminism
Yes it has, @funicon3689 , it's helped create legislation that allows women to vote and it had been used for reproductive health rights, anti-discrimination laws, better understanding of social issues and intersectionality with other minority groups, etc.
Trolling ain't a good look, sis
Feminism literally states that it’s end goal is the destruction of the nuclear family. Feminist ideology has definitely affected American culture though for sure. Way more kids who feel unloved, broken families. Relegated men tone depression eternally. Obviously abortion. Woohoo let’s play around with sex. There are no possible bad side affects of that. Sorry dudes for the night suicide rate
@@paulovitorsouzanunes4854 what do you mean women could always work as teachers and as nurses back then and they are doing the same jobs now
I find it interesting that they believe a woman MUST cook, unless the man loves cooking and wants to do it, but a woman doesn’t have the option of having a career she really loves. Funny how the gender roles can only flex if a man says so.
I was just thinking this. Taking their logic, we SHOULD be able to say that a woman doesn’t have to work outside the home, but she can if she enjoys it.
But I never see people like this making that argument.
The Girl Defined girls define a girls role as whatever the man defines for them
@@jennconrad6068you know what else I don't see? I don't see people saying that when I woman works and she is married,she is HELPING the husband with financial stability,but when the husband is also cooking and taking care of the children,they say he is helping the wife, as if the duty of cooking and cleaning was attached to the woman when she was born
Cooking and cleaning should not and never be a gender role. It should be a skill that you need to have to survive.
These women are privileged in that they have not needed their own source of income to escape abuse. I have nothing against stay at home parents or spouses, but there’s a reason women fought so hard to be allowed to enter the work force.
Precisely. You can't escape abuse if you are financially dependent on your abuser. Having access to and controlling your own money (and body, property, and custody of your children etc) is very important for women's liberation. It's not just about "girl bossification" - and even then, there is still a discussion to be had about equal opportunity and pay in the workforce, as well as the glorification of the capitalist grind, and virtue being directly tied to one's productivity (which is very much a Protestant ethic).
Well said. I became disabled and unable to work full-time. My marriage also became abusive and leaving has been very hard. I'm out now, and in the separation process, but the inability to make my own money is unbelievably difficult.
Adding: they actually still have their own source of income via their ministry and business ventures. Bethany has an entire Instagram account dedicated to teaching SAHMs how to make money lol
@@Parrot5884 They’re very privileged. Having your own source of income helps you to escape abuse. I’m happy for them that they don’t need to do that, but I sometimes think they forget why women fought to be able to go to work.
@charlleedodson, I know quite a few women who want to slap the feminist in the face who fought for a “career oriented women” I’ve heard them say it myself. Not all women feel the same way about this stuff.
Newsflash for them, god didn’t make kitchens. Not even in their book. He made a garden and two gardeners. Everything beyond chapter 3 is the result of sin. By their rules.
If you don't believe in a god it doesn't matter. 😂
God*
I’m a Christian and I agree
I always hated the feeling that the people in church expected me to help out in the kitchen. I'm fine with helping out, but to be expected to do is terrible.
I remember the looks I got from family if stayed seated while the womenfolk cleared the table. The men just sat there talking about Very Important Things. It always felt wrong, even as a believing kid. The women just made this whole-ass meal, and you're just gonna let them clean up like they're your servants?
@@presentfuture7563 Fr! They would often have those talks when the woman were cleaning.
Yeah i cook in the kitchen but im not expected to because i only cook for myself. I could see a family taking turns at cooking/cleaning, or at the very least have each person have something that is considered "their chores", like laundry,mowing, vacuuming ext, i understand if one person works alot,but i feel like the should at least take out the trash/ once in a while home repairs if the person that works less/not at all, because they end up taking care of most of the house chores. This might just be me but i feel like distribution of labor should be fairly split depending on the effort expended to be the breadwinner, but that doesn't mean the breadwinner just gets to ignore things that need done.
Bullshit that a man is expected to protect a woman if she gets attacked. I mean.. if he wanted too then ya he could buy to be expected to is terrible
It’s really insulting to the woman of the past and even though they didn’t want to they fulfilled their role of raising the kids the right way. Not like modern woman who just do what ever they want. I don’t even see how a marriage could work like that. I guess it doesn’t people divorce all the tim now. I have so much respect for woman of the past. Putting children first and not just alway thinking what is good for them. Now woman kill there kids for getting in the way of there autonomy
Why can't the kitchen be empowering for people in general? There is something very satisfying in making something delicious. But why do we have to gender and spiritualize it? 🤦
Is anybody going to say Gordon Ramsay isn't a real man because he cooks? Shit's ridiculous
Gods design and all that bla bla bla.
@vintagearisen
No, no, you see, Gordon Ramsey gets *PAID* for being in the kitchen. Being in the kitchen is only feminine if it's unpaid.
TBH I wish I had more desire to cook. While I am relatively healthy despite my eating habits (call me "blessed"), those habits are quite poor and eating is always a chore.
Very true. Cooking has no gender! ❤
Most of what Bethany and Kristin say can be boiled down to “yeah none of this is natural, just force yourself to do it anyway, because God said so.”
But where did God say that women should be in the kitchen ?
I like to think it all started when Dav surprised Bethany with a deconstructed omelette for breakfast.
Ahahahah nice! I like a good deconstructed burrito myself
😂💀
It's facinating to see them complaining that taking care of the home is undervalued, which I totaly agree with.
But they accuse feminism when the true criminals are the combination of traditional gender roles and sexism
This this this
My mom is a feminist, and also was a stay-at-home mom who took amazing care of her family and home and has traditionally feminine hobbies like sewing, baking, and gardening. She's never denigrated the role of homemaker as a feminist - she'd also agree homemaking is undervalued and that probably comes from embracing the kind of feminism that recognizes and validates the contributions of women to all aspects of society.
Exactly. The devaluing of traditional women's work comes from the patriarchy - not feminism. It's actually one of the key points of the movement.
@@KireiCIs your dad a feminist too? Just curious. And what from your upbringing have you taken with you?
Exactly! Feminism does not view homemaking as an obligation, which immediately increases its value. It changes its status from something that you are expected to do and therefore deserve no reward for, to something that you are doing in spite of no expectation, so you deserve a reward for it. Think about all the things we do out of obligation - Are we even thanked?
@@earthaforester3141 yup. And that's why the majority of head chefs in restaurants are men. Society deems roles that men fill as "valuable" and worthy of pay. Meanwhile, women who cook in homes are underpaid (in the case of domestic employees) or unpaid (eg. stay at home mothers).
Sounds like they are assuming that unmarried women don't cook, entertain others or care for themselves and they need to be told to do these things just in prep to transition to marriage.
It's absolutely wild how un-fundie Bethy and Kristin's opinion on that is. Their definition of being "a Single" is pretty secular. Singlehood for fundie women and girls usually ends when they're married right out of high school. These young women are already raising their siblings, caring for the house, cooking for their family, etc, before they move directly into their husband's home. They're not actually ever single...just pre-married and then "A Married."
Might be just the "worldly" unmarrieds who don't do the housekeeping -- I bet stay-at-home daughters are still a big part of the evangelical Girl Defined culture. Even though they try hard to look hip, they're still homeschooled and prone to repeating all the Christian regressive talking points -- drink raw milk and bone broth, LGBTQ identity is sin, strict gender roles, minorities are scary. Gotta keep them wimmenfolk sheltered at home. That way they don't get spoiled before a good Christian man takes ownership of them.
@@PrincessJamiGcouldn't have said it any better.
The whole section about how the husband really likes to cook but she still does the majority of the work feels like a way to reassure the audience that they're actually still biblical no really I'm a biblical house wife who submits to my man please keep watching
THIS
"He is also manly because he only cares about the meats and the cast iron and the fire!"
@@PrincessJamiG I didn't even think of that lol. God what would she say if he was sinking time into a vegetable garden?
@@polaris_draws- Right?!
@@polaris_draws Oh no, are vegetable gardens not manly? Am I actually foresaking my God given role by growing tomatoes and beans!? I'm going to have to give this some deep thought.. /s
In the section about letting the husband cook if he wants to, I picked up on the idea that they think the wife still has to be in charge of the mental load and the shopping/budgeting and likely the cleaning, but the husband can just do the fun parts that he actually wants to do and leave the rest.
This observation absolutely makes sense. Thanks for pointing it out!
Absolutely - their model of men contributing sounds like "if he likes it, when he wants to" like Marie Antoinette playing peasant in her palace gardens. They don't have to think about all the day-to-day grind, just breeze in and do it when the mood strikes and then bounce. It's not *nothing* but it isn't nearly the whole picture.
I love cooking but I want the choice to cook. The second someone expects it I’m gone
Yeah but what happens if your wife is a bad cook and your husband loves cooking. What then?
Plus this whole thing that Cooking is gender specific is so backwards.
re: your point about cooking not being gender specific - you can tell how backwards it truly is if you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, because then you know that while women supposedly “belong in the kitchen” when it’s cooking in their homes, but the second that kitchen is in a commercial space suddenly the kitchen is a man’s kingdom and women don’t belong there because apparently they “can’t keep up” with the men. So yeah, cooking is only “women’s work” if it’s unpaid.
It’s almost like gender actually has very little to do with what you’re good at and these people are mad purely at the idea of women existing for something besides being house servants for men. Or something like that.
Yeaaaaaah... you don t want me charged with the task of feeding you. 😉 How 'bout porridge everyday? 😝
I'm fantastic at cooking but being fairly attention deficit and having an appetite that can go into hibernation for hours while I paint or make music, other people in the house might want to know how to feed themselves.
The patriarchy is rigid for a reason. It evolved, consciously and unconsciously, to keep men in positions of power. Women staying home, tied to raising children and keeping house, kept them out of the public forum, uneducated, unaware - except though what gossip they could trade or if their husband told them anything, which he was usually discouraged from doing.
These women have been brainwashed into thinking the patriarchy is in their best interest, because "God" wants it that way, and they will get into heaven if they obey biblical rules. It's very sad.
Then become a progressive liberal couple and live happily
People with this mindset also think slavery was a good thing.
Indeed
Youre implying it wasnt
@@zapkvr oh look an edgelord.
@@zapkvrIt wasn't good no. It's painful and it only allows females to be less than human, more of a farm animal, and not worth anything but what she can endure as far as pain.
Oops, sorry, indentured servitude* 😅
That's an interesting point that GD only talk about what people SAY feminism is to them, but don't actually give real life examples or quotes of real people because they can't. I think they do genuinely believe in what they're saying. I just wish they'd do more research into what feminism actually is.
Yeah! It goes beyond being a strawman because I think they lack an intentionality behind the misframing of what feminism is. They just truly believe what they are saying
@@virtualprimatologist because I think their language is deliberate. That's why I disagree with Drew and Taylor that they don't know what they're talking about because I think the point is that they're deliberately misframing feminist language in order to convince right wing conservatives that they are the real feminists. You see this with other culture war issues on how conservatives have convinced themselves that they're the real anti establishment group.
The reason I bring up the former allegation is because of how milquetoast their descriptions are when it comes to women empowering themselves while not saying what they really mean which is tied to the bible and the patriarchal power structure found within their community and household.
And yet the irony is that the reason they are able to have a platform on TH-cam and have careers where they can preach at conventions and release books is because of feminism and the woman that have come before them
I swear, the idea of God speaking through other people has infected their entire concept of conversation ("they" being many Christians in general). They never seem to absorb the things said by non-Christians from the source, only from third-parties, like they have to be spoken for by someone else similar to God. To an absurd and aggravating degree
I'm not a "biblical woman" that was thousands of years ago lol
Normal people simply don’t struggle with this immature nonsense
Unfortunately right wingers, authoritarians, and religious z€@lots still force their views onto other people and those even make it into the law of many countries.
Lol no, we don't
Define normal. People considered this stuff normal for thousands of years, so it's not surprising many still do. Are we the weird ones for wanting to change, wanting progress? Perhaps being weird is sometimes better than being normal!
When I tell people I don't believe in a god, they often think I'm very, very weird and not normal. But to me, I'm being rational and using my brain to seek out the evidence-based truth. Normal or not normal? It's quite a question.
@@kumaranvij by “normal”, I mean people who simply discuss these things and do what works for them based on real-world factors. Not based on some ancient fictional book written by only men.
@@SatansBirdLawExpert Well, look up the definition of the word normal. I think perhaps a different word would be a better choice to express your meaning.
The way you two talk to each other is so healing to hear. Thank you for covering these topics in a way that clearly comes from compassion. It’s lovely to see
Yes, I agree! My husband is very compassionate and rational, but I sometimes have a very hard time engaging him in interesting conversation. It seems like Drew loves it, so I"m jealous.
Of course, we've been together twenty years, and he used to be a little more forthcoming. Sigh.
The amount of times that they acknowledge that the way they live their lives sucks is baffling. They're constantly admitting that this is hard and it sucks and it goes against their wants and needs, but God said it so we gotta do it! Do you even hear yourselves???
It's not "do what you want", Bethany, it's "do what's healthy for you". That may not be "whatever you want", but it most certainly depends on you and your situation.
Men can opt in to housework if they like it, but women have to do/manage household tasks even if they loathe it.
Thanks, I hate it!
I suspect that Dav's deconstruction has changed things a lot at home... but that's not going to stop Bethany from dictating what Christian women should do.
And being able to cook is empowering for everyone. Feeding yourself is pretty important.
Edit: I do appreciate that, with what seems to be every thing a Christian woman *should* do... Bethany and Kristen assure us they don't like it, they struggle, but it's God's will so they just have to suck it up.
I was really interested in the conversation Dav and Bethy had about the Barbie movie. Dav was talking about how it's OK for the husband not to always be the leader, and the wife doesn't always have to submit. Bethy was going, "No, no, women should submit," while giving him a look that basically said, "Hey, buddy, stay on brand, I have courses to sell."
Like, yeah, we all know she doesn't really submit to him. But the idea that, in theory, she could submit to his will by exercising her independence really intrigues me.
But he didn't leave Christianity. I am SO confused as to why he said "now that Dave left Christianity." Like......Dave never said that. You can deconstruct without leaving your Faith. It's about figuring out what the true base for your faith is. Not leaving it altogether
@@Orion_TheyThemDav is athiest now. He even made a joke telling Bethany "surprise! You did it with an athiest!" 😂 He said he left Christianity in the video he and Bethany put out with his announcement essentially that he'd been struggling with faith since before he got married and he said he basically just forced it for years because he loved Bethany and knew it was important to her. He said the shame Christianity gave him just made him miserable and he didn't want to be miserable anymore. He also said he reD the Bible multiple times and came to the conclusion he didn't believe in it. Bethany was actually pretty supportive and sweet in that video, just saying that she enjoyed being Christian and she respected that for Dav it wasn't working. But he still goes to church with her and the kids, and they said they're ok with the kids asking for either of their different opinions on things.
If anything, I think it might make Bethany double down more, because her husband is not a traditionalist Christian he’s an atheist, she could be living vicariously through her audience and what she imagines the impact of her words to be.
It's not lost on me that what the man enjoys here is the cooking that's been defined as acceptable in a man's realm - smoking meats and cast iron cooking. I'm not a fan of *That 70s Show* but I remember Red Foreman once saying "men grill".
If a man enjoys steaming vegetables, or putting together casseroles, and certain other things then his manhood should be called into question.
Single parents are laughing at this as they have to do it all. My mother was a single parent since I was two. There was no sex division of duties. We worked and got it done.
Yes, definitely. - My mother internalized a lot of these pressures as a single mother in the US South. She felt like she was doing poorly by us because she couldn’t home school us. Because she was working to keep a roof over our heads.
Cooking is a life skill that as many people as possible should know how to do! It can also be a way to be creative and enjoy the process of seeing a recipe go from ingredients to final dish.
I learned to make grilled cheese. Seems that is my staple for life.
Very trye
Personally, I prefer seeing both of you in the same frame - it's more fun, I think, and you just look nice together! - but I am more than OK with watching any setup whatsoever as long as it is comfortable for you to record in. Cheers! :>
Yes!
I just commented almost the same thing word for word 😅 I agree!
I agree with this!!
My Dad is a better cook than my Mother. He's the one who makes Christmas Dinner and Easter Dinner every year. He's also the one who made the Sunday Roast every Sunday.
And his Chocolate Trifle is so delicious that I asked him to make it for my 18th birthday instead of getting my a birthday cake and he did! It was amazing.
Nice! Whats his secret for a good turkey? It always comes out dry!
@@gsp4prez I'll have to ask him. I've no idea. But his turkeys are always perfect. Never dry.
Sounds like my father. He always did holiday dinners. When he was working my mother cooked daily meals to save him time, but after he retired my mother almost never cooked.
Their real issue seems to be with...capitalism and the patriarchy, ironically.
"Domestic labor isn't valued as much as working outside the home for a salary!" Babe, that's because the Patriarchy doesn't value "women's work" and capitalism doesn't value unpaid labor! (or rather, capitalism runs on unpaid labor, it LOVES unpaid labor, but the laborers themselves are stripped of power and esteem)
Any feminists urging women to work a wage-earning job when they would rather be a SAHM or SAHW might only do so because those women are at an extreme economic disadvantage if they ever lose their husband's support/income.
Its fascinating the flirting with feminism but not quite. They both dye their hair. Do they know what blonde hair was traditionally associated with 70+ years ago? Or how hair dye companies played into the feminist movement to encourage more women to choose their hair color?
I think their hair is naturally blonde.
@@chilltheheckoutwithava1454 they both look like they're growing their natural hair right now, but the one on the right seems to have highlights, the one on the left seems to have died endings and in earlier videos both of them definitely had their died a very light shade of blonde that very few people keep naturally into their adulthood.
Either way, I don't think it's a great point about hair dye as such being somehow feminist (whatever the companies used to say) - but I do think it was hypocritical of them to go on about modesty and "not leading men astray" while dying their hair and using makeup, painting their nails and dressing in a way that (for many people in many religions) would still be very immodest. They were playing into the image of what "godly" men are supposed to find appealing (so their look was very much designed to appeal to men, therefore potentially tempting). And yet they'd probably say that "oh no we're so modest but we just ENJOY wearing make-up" - as if it's okay for them to enjoy something that makes them attractive, but if other women enjoy short skirts and stronger make-up, then it's wrong and they're doing it exclusively to be desired by men.
Basically they set their own standard for what they consider modest yet enjoyable, and every woman who doesn't adhere to it is doing something wrong (luckily, I think they've moved on from that somewhat, but only partially).
I do agree with the OP's general point that everything about them shows they reap the benefits of feminism and make quite feminist choices for themselves and their families, and yet their whole business hinges on denying it!
@@AW-uv3cb can’t argue with that!
Those poor homeschooled children
In this season of my life I'm a stay-at-home dad, and you have no idea how much I need to hear affirming things like you both say 25 minutes in. Thanks for putting wind in my sails today :)
You all are too kind - their video is a word salad of nothing.
I think a big reason they don’t market their “teaching” or “services” to men is because they believe it is wrong for them to lead men, that’s Gods job
Yes, I can't believe the fact that women can't lead men in 90% of Christian churches hides in plain sight like this. We need to point it out. It is blatantly sexist and outrageous! Same thing with women changing their last name to their husband's last name, and giving their kids his last name. Everyone does it, and it's simply the emperor wearing no clothes - everybody acts like it's completely logical and normal. But it is plain sexism.
That last one often "gets me in trouble" because so many women have done this, and feel attacked when I say it. But my goal is not to attack the women that have done it, it's to attack the idea itself. We've all been raised in the patriarchy and have acted accordingly. We need not to attack each other, but make change for future generations - in this case, hopefully starting very soon.
Heck they don't just believe it, it's literally what the bible says. See 1 Timothy 2:12.
@@mallninja9805 Yes. The Christian churches, like other religions, "hides in plain sight." Everyone accepts, few people question, the blatant sexism of the fact that in 99% of cases, only men are allowed in leadership roles in the church.
We as women need to start talking about it. Freedom of religion does not mean we have to accept sexism.
I’m a Christian and my husband does most of the cooking he gets home first 😂. We split all duties, even the “women” ones like laundry. I hate that people use Christianity to push women into only one role
There's litterally a Bible story of Jesus getting upset that a woman was cleaning and cooking instead of following him
Wouldn’t it be funny for Tayler and Drew to be in their kitchen lol
T filming in the kitchen (while also seeing to her wifely duties of course), D filming in the studio (while playing video games).
11:41 hahaha they can’t say he likes cooking without making the cooking sound super manly 😂 “grilling, smoking meats, cast iron.” 😂😂😂
There is a great book I read in the 90s called "Beyond Beef," quite ahead of its time, that has a whole section on this. Men wanting to grill meats, together, as if it is some sort of manliness-confirming ritual. The subconscious connections to hunting and killing animals.
I think even if Dave’s deconstructing was a better influence on bethy, possibly triggering a deconstruction of her own, I doubt very much she’d admit it. It would ruin the girl defined business/livelihood.
scam business. maybe they coud do something useful instead.
Here’s hoping hoping hoping bridges are being built and synapses are being fired during Zelph of the Shelf’s visit with Dav & Bethy this weekend!!
Is this really a confirmed thing? 😮
Considering Kristen mixed up cauliflower and cabbage I will not be taking any kitchen advice from her
The kitchen is an empowering place for men, too! Yeesh!
Heck, I do the vast majority of the cooking and dishes in our home, even grocery shopping, and my wife handles all the finances, taxes, etc. But don’t come at me with “you’re a soy boy” or whatever, because I’m a black belt in taekwondo and a brown belt in Shaolin Kung fu and have done full-contact sparring.
@@CharlesPayet We would like you and respect you even if you couldn't do "full-contact sparring" and had no belts, Charles! And "soy boy" is a silly epithet that exposes the people who say it as very ignorant. The soy bean is a hell of a bean! Tofu is delicious when prepared well, and very healthy.
Right, have they never heard of gordon Ramsey, Bobby flay, guy fieri, etc etc etc
I'd like to point out that even they say "oh, it's OK for your man to like to cook" they mention specifically male coded food rituals like grilling, smoking meats, and cooking ribs, but I wonder how they feel about men who like to bake cute pastries. Or vegans.
But like, everyone should be in the kitchen...it's where the food is
This was always my justification! It's not my ovaries that bring me in, it's the hors d'ouevres
I am begging Kristen and Bethany to read an honest-to-god Feminism 101 book.
God*
God*
im going to be honest, I just get the vibe from them that I wouldn't want either of them in the kitchen. they're so vanilla white bread i'm getting an image of "dinners ready, I made a mexican quiche" or something. like im just picturing the moooostttt vanilla food imaginable lol.
I'm gonna just assume they don't season things and it's the most old white woman cooking you've ever seen. Lol
Damnit, I'm so sick of Christians being obtuse about things that are very clearly stated. It's never been about homemaking being lesser than a career; it's about homemaking not being the only acceptable option.
Rachel Oats mentioned!!!
An amazing book is "Fair Play" where the tasks behind running a house and caring for a family are spelled out in (often overlooked) detail and how women's time, culturally, is [not] valued.
An example that relates to the video is how her husband helpfully "suggests burgers" so she then does the labor of fitting it into the meal schedule she's made, makes the shopping list according to sales/ coupons/ dietary restrictions/ favorite brands the family has, gets the groceries, checks the weather, prepares the side dishes, possibly even preps the meat, notifies her husband when it's time to start, sets the table, calls everyone to it, cleans the dishes, etc. etc. and hopefully doesn't have to remind her husband to clean and put away the grill.
“Taking the woman out of the home has ‘more value’”
Umm. I mean some women don’t want to be in the home not that being home is devalued.
This is so impractical. Most families require two incomes and that already cuts down on family time. Rigid rules instead of flexibility would never work for us. My husband prefers to cook, but I do it if he has to work late because that's what gives us more family time in the evening. Why they're so stuck on a book of rules instead of what works best for two individuals with their own preferences is ridiculous.
I need to hear more from Drew and Taylor on Anti-natalism. I personally consider myself more of a “counter-natalist” in that currently most people consider “natalism” good and I would say probably it is inherently neutral but in many current particulars situation it is bad.
I don't mind the antinatalist concept, I understand the "appeal", but some antinatalists scare me a little, they seem too focused on other people's choices to the point of flirting with mass sterilization.
I think when GD says “that’s what we chose”, for example when they talk about staying home with the kids instead of working full time, or cooking even though it “doesn’t come naturally to them”, because they want to perform for their audience that even though they were raised with a religious expectation that these are your roles in a marriage they “choose” it. It’s purely performative and, maybe, a psychologically, a coping mechanism for them. If they don’t really want to do these things, but they’re expected of them and they literally preach it to their audience, then they have to tell themselves, and their audience, that they “choose” all of it.
I like you being together in the same room. I wish these type of people would realize that feminism is not anti-man or anti-traditional, but more about encouraging people , both male and female, to pursue roles that they want.
“Looking well to the ways of your household” is indeed very open ended. The phrase could even be a call to appraise whether one *belongs* in that particular household - or should divorce!
Since you asked for feedback: I like this setup for the video, the other one looks aesthetically nice but I prefer seeing you both in the frame together. The split screen kinda makes it feel like it might as well be a Zoom call haha.
If you want to just have food, let me cook it. If you want something GOOD, let my husband cook it. He does 99% of the cooking at our house. Always has. We both work, the kids are grown now.
Feels like they are spiritualising and gendering regular adult and parenting tasks, to give themselves brownie points for being “good christian women”
These people seem very removed from institutions like slavery. It's interesting how they can interpret all these verses about being a noble woman without considering the historical aspect... slavery was common. Women were property, etc. They seem to brush all that under the rug.
Y’all are young; I am almost 60. My mother was a feminist and a homemaker, so that has been a thing since at least the 70s when she was raising me. The idea that a feminist having to be a breadwinner, that is a straw-man argument created by the opposition.
I really really like this setup I dont know why but its so nice to see you side by side
In the 1950s TV series, The Honeymooners, there was an episode about how underappreciated a house wife's work was compared to her husband's. Ralph thought that Alice was always lazing around at home, so she insisted that she get a job and they hire a maid to do the housework. In the end because nobody would agree to do all of that work as their job Ralph has to beg Alice to go back to doing the housework. I'd say that in the 1950s some people were already aware that someone keeping the home as their job was just as hard as a job.
I like seeing you guys in the same frame because when one of you is talking the other is always looking so attentively, it's really sweet 😅 I wonder if a split screen would be possible? Like a side-by-side (I'm not sure what it's called).
P.S. that blouse is really cute!
Whether it's gas-lighting or self-righteousness, there's something to be said about how the people advocating for "traditional" / limited roles also often support economic policies that make it difficult for many to even to do so.
Even Bethany and the other one complain about how hard all this is. Why would I do constant labor, especially when it’s unpaid? Just because god wants it? Shouldn’t life be more than work, work, work, suffer, suffer, suffer. The biblical god hates his creation, and yet “loved” us enough to sacrifice his son.
Calling Kristen “the other one” took me out
This set-up is great, yeas to the living room.
About the topic around 14:00 in - I can say as a fundie Christian I *chose* to marry my first husband in the way a mugging victim *chooses* to hand over their wallet to someone holding a weapon on them. In the same way, I *chose* to stay through the abuse. My point is, in fundie Christian culture women don’t get a lot of choices. We’re brainwashed to think that we are making our own choices when really, if we were to choose the “wrong” path according to our pastor, parents or husband, we would pay dearly for that choice. So much so that the only real choice that we can live with is to comply.
My two daughters have their own careers outside the home. I am a very proud Dad.
31:02 yes, yes, I too thought the "rhyme scheme" of Hebrew poetry was very clever when I read about it in the Student Bible when I was a kid! 🤣
OMG I didn’t read the comments before but I 100% agree! Same frame y’all!! Same frame!
The thumbnail is perfect lmao
While I agree that women should not be forced to be in the kitchen, women who really want to be a traditional stay at home mom or a woman who tends the home should not be ridiculed. Some women really love doing those things.
Those women who want to stay home ridicule the educated ambitious women with careers
The irony of their argument is so lost on them 😂
It's telling that they keep repeating that their work in the kitchen is "their choice" over and over again (methinks the lady protesteth too much?), but they also keep repeating how much they hate it and how thankless it is. Sounds super empowering.
Watching this as I cook dinner for me and my fiancé 😂
The " No one's paying me for that" was insane 😂😂😂
Cooking empowers me bc it gives me stress relief, it allows me to be creative, it allows me to show my love to others, and I love seeing the faces and hearing the sounds people make when I’ve made something good
The split frame set up was perfectly fine in my opinion. Whatever works best for yall
Y’all point out how Girl Defined projects their views of gender roles onto scripture, but they’re spot on when the husband gets up to make the coffee.
That’s straight out of the book of He-brews
Cooking and knowing how to take care of and feed yourself is such a woman thing 😂😂😂 (sarcasm!!)
I live in a studio apartment, I am always in the kitchen 😂
Is there at least enough room for a man to grill ONLY meats?
@@SatansBirdLawExpert he can grill the meats outside 🤣 also I love your username. Charlie would be proud.
@@95mudshovel haha thanks! some free bird-law advice; even though it may be legal…you do NOT want to keep a sea bird as a pet.
Couldn’t help but notice that Bethany immediately goes to “-like grilling?” A way to prepare food that is potentially viewed by some as more ‘masculine’. I wonder what the response would be if one of their husbands just truly had a passion for baking and decorating cakes and cookies. Like, is that equally okay with them?
Geez Louise 😮💨
I have such an urge to join their "Biblical community" as a sleeper agent and inject some critical thinking into the discussions and see how long I can be in it without being booted out
Loved seeing you in the same frame again! Hope it's not too cramped for you.
Boot camp sucks anyway. Isn’t its purpose to destroy and break down the personality?
Great video Taylor, and Drew on the girls defined. I love cooking in the kitchen. But when I was growing up my dad cooked the most of everyone in the house, because my mom was working, and didn’t like cooking too much at the time, so he took over the cooking and he still cooks, a lot to this day. Out of everyone in the family he cooks the best. Because of him I learned how to cook.
I love the two of you in the same room. I'll watch regardless though
When I was 10, my father tell me that I need to learn to cook, laundry and other household chores... He said you need to learn those in order for me to know how to do those when I have became an adult, as those are essential skills.. And he also said that you need to know those things "so that you can do it yourself and not be dependent to your wife or girlfriend to do those stuff" and to not expect your wife to know those stuff, hence the need to know to do those stuff...
But plot twist, I'm g@y and now I know how to cook, clean and do other house chores🤣🤣🤣
Y'all have such a chill livingroom
A know few people these days that don't have at least two incomes just to make it from week to week. I will never understand this idea that life is a straight line that needs to be followed and then repeated.
Have a shot everytime they say "Well to the ways of her household"
Yes to this set-up! If its easy enough for y'all
Kristin doesn’t even know what vegetables look like.
I loved the Rachel Oates call-out in the beginning. She is a good one to reference for discussions like this.
Just putting my two cents in to say that I love the setup
Look, I know the whole "OMS, I got a Christian ad before your video" is a bit played out, but I just got an ad for a prayer app from
Mark.
F**king.
Wahlberg.