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Even more than the creepy plane seat stalking story, the forceful "you're welcome" when she didn't say "thank you" fast enough for the shitty gift is the most annoying red flag ever.
I love how the author of the article wasn't actually being critical or judgemental. She literally just shared her observations of her time there and shared her annoyance of Daniel taking her on ditch tours 😂
The sycophantic followers mobbed the reporter’s video where she discusses her take post fallout. It was disturbing that they largely don’t understand that observational journalism doesn’t pull punches and how many were willing to be blatant in their misogyny. Largely, those comments were from women.
Take ballerina farm as a warning that marrying rich is't a guarantee for a better life. If you want to live in luxury make sure that man has a good personality along with a good bank account.
And won’t ask you have to more then three kids, because more than that is too fucking many…. I can’t imagine the stress women’s bodies go through when we have so many kids back to back.
It's pretty ironic that people fixate on the 50s and 60s for "traditional" aesthetics when, if you go back and look at 50s media, they emphasized how new and modern everything was and how much better their way of life was than the traditions of the time.
exactly, they're about as "traditional" as nail polish (the kind invented in 1916), royally pisses me off as someone who's hobbies include history (especially fashion history) hearing blatant propaganda be portrayed as traditionalism
I wonder if that is part of why that kind of aesthetic is making a comeback. Like: "Man, remember a time when we could be optimistic about the future?"
It’s been some weeks and I’m still flabbergasted about the egg apron “gift” video. He couldn’t even take it out of the shipping package and wrap or put it in a gift bag for her. She still had to fumble around with the packaging. And then the “You’re welcome”. 😒
It’s like a huge slap in her face. She just wanted a gift that was thoughtful and about her, not a fucking egg apron for her domestic labor. I feel bad for her genuinely, I don’t care if she “chose” this oppression and abuse.
it's a minor point, but as someone who has gathered a lot of eggs, I cannot fathom the utility of that thing. wire baskets are standard for a reason, they work just fine for small quantities. the apron is made of FABRIC, it's going to have to be washed constantly to not get completely nasty, and I still don't think you could properly clean those little pockets once they get saturated with yolk and dust and chicken shit. it's cutesy, frivolous, and utterly impractical, just like most aspects of this wealthy, IG version of "farming"
Its really annoying to see people who are into older fashion and styles, yet also adopting thos old fashioned values. The overwhelming majority of the vintage fashion community are all about the motto of "Traditional style, not traditional values". You can dress old fashion and be feminine and enjoy housework, but lets not fight to put women back into cages, PLEASE
lmao who the fuck enjoys housework? like cooking and baking I can kind of see, but who actually like cleaning? the results of cleaning, sure, but cleaning itself? who are these unicorns?
@@KC-2049Cleaning is highly therapeutic for me. It makes me feel like I have at least some control over my situation/environment. I don’t enjoy every task, but I generally enjoy cleaning
The way he said "you're welcome" before she said "thank you" - like even he could tell she was disappointed but ofc he couldn't blame himself for letting her down.
This tradwife thing drives me BONKERS bc anyone with a good understanding of history knows that this *is not & never has been* the """"traditional lifestyle"""" of the average (read: white european-descended) person in America. Women have always worked both inside & outside the home, they just weren't treated with the same respect working men received. Women were maids, nurses, midwives, cooks, wet nurses, fishwives, seamstresses......while ALSO being wives & mothers. If a woman was part of a family that owned a business, then she most likely worked for them without receiving wages (tho she DID presumably benefit from the business's prosperity, i just wanna point out the lack of paycheck). So many chores involved back breaking labor, and women were expected to perform that labor even while pregnant/post partum/nursing bc if the chores didn't get done, the whole family suffered. If they couldn't do the laundry, there were no clean clothes to wear. If they couldn't get water from the local pump & carry it home, there was no water to drink or cook or clean with. Everyone had to work hard to make a comfortable life, but women in particular had to do extra work bc even when they were maids, cooks, seamstresses etc they were also still wives & mothers too. This goes double for women of color!! They were even more likely to be poor & lived difficult, dangerous lives. The only women who could afford to stay home & embroider were part of the wealthy upper class, and even they had their own expectations & responsibilities. There was no point in us history where every suburban house had a Mrs Cleaver with a fresh baked pie on the table every day just in time for her husband to get home from work. That's pure fantasy. The 50s themselves were a historical anomaly which only existed as a result of the very specific conditions leading up to it (namely, WW2). The Leave it to Beaver life was only for a select few ppl - it wasn't anywhere NEAR as widespread as certain media or "old-fashioned" folks would like us to believe. Their nostalgia for a time that didn't exist is largely rooted in bigotry & indoctrination. It is, essentially, propaganda in the interest of allowing certain folks to remain powerful, and to impede social & political progress for the rest of us 😒
Working class women have always done just that. Day cares have been around since the 1800s for a reason (multiple reasons). Everyone I know that has multiple children and lived on one income struggled, hard.
I swear Mid Century America is the new European Renaissance! Equally romanticized to an absurd degree! I honestly wouldn't be surprised if in the future we start seeing a mid century themed equivalent to the fairy/pirate/cottagecore/fantasy Ren Fair!!! 🧙🏻♂️🏴☠️🧚🏻🧝🏻♀️🏰🃏 💋👱🏻♀️👗👠🥧🧹
Even the actors on Leave it to Beaver said they didn’t live the lives they portrayed and one of them said they’d never ever want to go back to the 50’s.
Exactly!!! The closest historical, Western European equivalent we have of this “trad wife” ideal of the woman staying at home and making babies, being protected from the “outside world” were the noble class!! They isolated those women from everything, and even then, they often weren’t even raising their own kids or managing the home with their own manual labor: nannies and staff were doing all that labor! *Traditionally* women hustled alongside others to get food on the table and keep a roof over their heads, while being denied any rights whatsoever. It is the FARTHEST thing from “idyllic” and is a straight up nightmare. And that’s what’s coming down the pipeline if we aren’t careful…
I can't claim to know what's going on in Hannah's head, but when I watch that clip, I see a woman who is disappointed but immediately quashes her own feelings and feigns gratefulness to avoid her husband's anger. I've been there and wouldn't wish that on anyone. For her sake, I hope that's not the case.
I find it really weird how a man with unrestricted access to air travel chose to put his wife and 8 kids in a cottage away from the world save from the internet to confirm she's happy.
Sorry my fiance and I are lower income and he stills gets me better gifts than that rich asshole. He bought me an entire copic set ( artists in the comments will know how $$$$ those are) because he knew I loved illustration. Hes also gotten me cheaper gifts like a favorite food or small thing from Sephora that he knew I would love , its not about the money but the fact that he wanted to make me happy and KNOWS me. I dont see anything wrong with taking care of a household but I couldnt bear a life without a partner not supporting my interests and hobbies and charity work 💔
Right? I feel really bad for her. I could never live like her or be with someone who doesn't let pursue my interests. Her social media is ballerina farms and she can't even dance ffs. I will say that the eggpron is adorable but that is only under the presumption that we would both use it. This gift just seemed like a tool to reinforce what he thinks her place is in the house, domestic slave.
Good lord, EIGHT children with that guy? I hope she's in good health. My grandmother had five children and needed multiple surgies to help repare the permanent damage left from having so many kids back to back. The long-term health of the woman is also pretty much never taken into consideration in these uberconservative marragies.
Yep and the twins and one that was past term did she have in the hospital. Only the one that she had that was past term did she get to have an epidural, and that was because her husband wasn't there.
@KellyDVance ...wow. I'm at a loss for words. The only reason my grandmother got to stop having kids is because their OB/GYN refused to see my grandparents if she got pregnant again. He told my grandfather that her having anymore after 3 was playing with fire, and he put his foot down right he delivered the 5th.
I had five kids back to back. I’m perfectly fine. If the woman is healthy and sees a doctor it’s not necessarily harmful to her health. I think her creepy husband is more concerning.
@Apreeyle I'm glad that you're in good health. I'm not gonna make any assumptions about your situation. A lot of women who are stuck and brainwashed into these abusive baby factory situations aren't so lucky, however. This was a whole ass discussion of X a couple weeks ago; with conservative Christians saying that women should have as many kids as possible and progressive Christians telling horror stories of health issues from too many children.
@@FaptainCalcon750 ahh the context makes more sense. My situation isn’t exactly perfect. I was 16 when I had my first child. His dad was abusive. When he was 6 mos old I met my now husband at age 17. He was 26 (husband). By the time I was 23 I had four more kids and was married. Looking back, I often wonder if he groomed me. Definitely a red flag but when you’re that young you think you must be so cool and mature for an older guy to like you. I guess that’s why I say, I’m more concerned with the creepy husband.
My heart is aching for this poor woman. I can’t imagine what must be going on internally for a woman who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition and was on her way to being one of the greatest dancers in the country to give up everything, including the reasonable boundaries she had set in the first place.
you nailed it. the loss of the traditional support of a wife was one thing that made men so angry about the women's movement back in the day. back then, many men loved being treated like a king in their own houses, and they didn't have to deal with dirty diapers, cooking, cleaning, remembering birthdays for the most part. traditional wives did make men's lives easier, and their resentment of that loss is still being used politically today. i am old enough to have seen what traditional wifery was like before women's lib--and the damage it caused to women. it distresses me to see modern trad wives repeating history because they're too young to realize how harmful it can be. women's lib gave us choice: if she freely chooses to live this way, that's one thing-it's a free country, and there's nothing wrong with cooking or collecting eggs. but it's another if trad wifery is used politically to put us all back in the kitchen, or to deprive girls(/young womb-folk) of the knowledge of and access to other life options.
I dislike how tradwife content creators promote their “lifestyle” to young girls and men as the only way to live. Unlike the average girl who watches them, they have money to fall back on in case something happens to their marriage or husband. The ones who follow them will end up on the pipeline to poverty with kids they can’t afford. It’s so dangerous to only show the good and not the bad or such a risky lifestyle. Not to mention the abuse, infidelity, and isolation that many experience with this lifestyle.
As aan who raised his baby sister, here are the milestones only I saw. her first crawl, it was backwards she screamed for a good 2 minutes. She was so proud she thought she figured it out but pushed with her arms. Her first step. Her first swear. It was an F bomb, I blamed my aunt for that one, it was me. Fuck was a word she heard everytime I stabbed mys3lf with nappy pin. Also her 3rd wrod. Her first time standing. Taught her to count, read, ride a bike.
@@julesmasseffectmusic i should clarify-i'm talking about traditional, patriarchal men, (like in the 50's). i didn't mean all men. and actually, the men of younger generations have made vast strides and have become very involved parents. credit where credit is overdue!
Just remember: "Nostalgia is the past without the guilt" and "Aesthetic is an emotion" These two things in concert can be a terrible weapon in the wrong hands.
My cat just woke me up at six in the morning craving some chicken pate in jelly. So I went out to butcher a chicken, cooked, boned and canned the whole thing and created a fancy label. Naaaaa😂, I just served her some Whiskas.
Genuinely cats are so impatient I'd be shocked if anyone could get something made for them without them making you go deaf from screeching 😂 (still love the goobers tho)
Whenever I look up ACTUAL footage from the 50’s- it’s far less regressive than “tradwife,” back to the 50’s movement. They weren’t afraid of the future, they were proud to be modern. They wanted every modern convenience. They didn’t go out of their way to make things harder on themselves. They loved buying pre-made bread!
Working class women always worked. There were plenty of women nurses, teachers, phone operators, secretaries, retail workers and more during the 1950s. Also, the 50s was a time of luxury. After a generation of the Great Depression and WWII, people were glad to relax from hard work and scrimping and pinching. Many Women loved having TV dinners, automatic dryers, canned and processed foods, chain restaurants and store bought clothes. Most women were not making sourdough bread as that was seen as old timey frontier food, Wonder Bread was the way of the future! Instead of canning peaches in August, you could just buy a can of peaches at the store
@@michiganscythian2445 Right! This idea that women were not, running shops, bakeries, midwifing, nursing, in the military, fixing engines, running farms, being housekeepers. My Grandma literally worked from the time she landed in NYC till a few years before she died in our home.
My absusive ex asked me to be his girlfriend after meeting in person one time and having talked for a month or so. I said no and he asked several more times over the next month until I said yes. And you know what inspired me to be okay with this kind of thing? My college pastor told a story about him asking his wife out many times and her turning him down. I also concocted a way to determine my "husband" in my mind based on past relationship trauma. (I believed this was God though) I said that the person meant to be my husband would apologize to me. Well after my ex was creepy and freaked me out, he got offended by my reaction and threatened to leave, I begged him to stay, and then he apologized. From that moment, i believed the holy spirit showed me he was my husband and I ignored and excused toxic and abusive behavior from then on for the next 7 years. I am free from that relationship AND religion now, but i just can relate to the weirdness of being "pursued" like i was taught to believe was good and normal.
I hear some really creepy stories from relatives. I am glad we live in a time where there are at least some people out there that care about women's consent. I think it's actually quite vile that marriage can be seen as a form of protection for women to avoid creepy entitled men and a means to be able to go out without being bordeline, or even full on, harassed. There are some spaces I still avoid due to them having a bunch of pigs.
As someone who lives in Sweden, this is so foreign to me... I don't think most people here would think their story is cute, in fact, most would think it's highly abusive and controlling. Most Swedes watch horrified at the Mormons and fundamental Christians of the US... Also, how funny you want to visit my country! Everything is tiny here, but I think that's what makes it beautiful :) Love your channel! I was too brought up Christian but have deconstructed.
the way connor talks about his wife is so infantilizing. especially the ‘she doesn’t talk back’ comment, it’s the way a father would speak about his daughter
Right. He means that she never argues with him and gives him all the peace and quiet he wants. Can't wait till they crank out a bunch of kids and all that peace gets interrupted.
That’s how it is in religious relationships. Women are seen as childlike and even raised to be that way because it strokes the man’s ego. The play Doll House explains this well.
The thing that I find SUPER interesting about “trad wives,” is that it’s so purposefully regressive. I mean the whole ideology is “everything was better in the 50’s.” Yet if you look at the actual traditional wives of the 50’s- they were proud to be modern and futuristic. They were also- even though many of not most were Christian, they were not so… “cultish” about it for the most part. They went to church and tried to be good Christian’s and good citizens and all that but their lives didn’t quite revolve around being regressive and Uber religious.
They ignore that for most of human history, women worked outside the home and only a minority was at home all day being only a housewife. Women have always worked on the family farm, or helped at the husband’s store or worked independently from their families. Because of course, when you’re a poor farmer like most people have been for a large part of human history, you can rarely afford to have one member of the family not helping. And even in the 50’s women were in the workforce
The worst part for me is women truly believe they are equal in their marriage, but when you actually look at the dynamic they are always below their husband and he never sees the work she does in the home as equitable to his own.
I think you hit the nail on the head with the Nara Smith section. There’s a vast difference between enjoying stereotypically feminine activities or wanting to be a homemaker and thinking that that is what the norm or goal should be for all women. Trad wife social media leans very heavily on the latter whether implicitly or not.
Nara is always in these vids and she's so odd compared to everyone else so I'm glad Taylor mentioned it. She rarely has her kids on camera, she was (and is?) a model who is probably just aging out of big fashion contracts, and she doesn't seem to ever promote ideologies. The criticism is almost always that she dresses up and cooks the most random things that everyone else would just buy at the store. But... It's a tiktok production. She seems to always be very obviously producing this content with an aesthetic in mind, and she even has a schtick of always saying "my [relative] told me they wanted [processed snack] so I decided to make it from scratch" with slight variations. Then she cooks whatever it was in like a cocktail dress or a ball gown or something. She even mentions that she is working and she has a nanny and housekeeper. She's basically the most upfront of the people who always get roped into the trad wives group.
I may be morbid but Ballerina Farm sounds like an obscure horror movie title. Washed butter - WHAT THE FFFFFFUCK! Leaving the astonishment of washing the butter aside, poor woman. She is trapped in an abusive marriage. Her husband is so self centered and weird. She refused him and he followed her harder. The gift short was soo sad, she wanted a vacation so hard but she got an apron.
I am so tempted to make a "trad wife" TikTok account as an openly gay transgender man. Wearing a trans flag apron that I made myself while regrouting the bathroom with homemade caulk because my husband deserves to not have to worry about home repairs.
Your point about the fetish aspect makes a lot of the phenomenon more clear. It's a D/s dynamic (Dominant/submissive). D/s can be a fun, sexy, safe way to play, but whenever a D/s dynamic becomes 24/7 fulltime, the risk of abuse becomes extremely high. And this D/s dynamic has extra pull due to it's cultural ubiquity. There's a lot less risk of accidentally falling into an abusive dynamic with, say, a pup/handler relationship because we dont grow up making sense of ourselves through that lens the way we do with traditional gender roles. And then, of course, no one is going around saying "everyone would be so much happier and society would be more stable if they could just be in a pup/handler relationship like mine"
I'm a cishet man and love cooking and baking... and love to do it for and together with my friends and family. What does it make me... a untrad bloke!? xD
@@theantibot Thanks! For sure! I love cooking Italian and Swiss traditional dishes and as for baking, my father used to bake a fresh Challah like bread (tresse in Swiss French) every sunday morning and I've kept that tradition, when possible. And I'm a sucker for fresh made pesto genovese or a good old Älplermagronen, the Swiss version of Mac & Cheese. .
I've got an anecdote to go with this^^ I have horses, and one of my former barn owners would cook for his boarders, along with his girlfriend and their kid. I ate with them quite frequently after moving there, and when I hadn't for a few days, their little boy asked me why I hadn't eaten with them recently, so I said that I had simply cooked for myself. Cue him looking at me with big eyes, going: "Don't you have a papa?" (I'm a woman in her thirties, for context) That was just so cute 😂
I think many people can and do enjoy cooking. These days you’re damned if you do or don’t. If a woman likes homemaking she’s a tradwife setting women back, if man likes homemaking he isn’t masculine. I say leave people alone to do what they enjoy. Homemaking is a thing that needs to be done one way or another may as well let the one who likes doing it do it man or woman
Where do these "trad men" work that they can afford supporting their whole family on one income in today's economy? The times when you could do that are long gone. And also, the irony of these women claiming to be "trad wives" while having a whole job making money online, with a whole team of people behind them (baby sitters, editiors, videographers...) is absolutely RICH 😂
That's the thing. For these influencers, it's all good bc they actually have a job (being an influencer). But for irl tradwives, unless their husbands are rich, THEY'RE MOST LIKELY NOT BEING PROPERLY SUPPORTED!
As a vintage fashion girlie myself, I do not want to be associated with these women. It’s very understandable why Trad Wives have co-opted the 1950s, but as a lover of the era’s fashion and decor it still hurts me. Trad Wives feel like a slap in the face to the real women of the 1950s who did work hard to gain independence outside the home. As we say in the vintage fashion community: Vintage Vibes, Not Vintage Values!
Every time I see the egg apron clip I feel like I have to crawl out of my skin and find myself looking away a bunch. It's abuse. We (as viewers) are being brought in as tools of abusive humiliation. Feels awful
A woman choosing the role of wife and mother is entirely valid; what I have a problem with is the suspiciously conservative xtian "highest calling" rhetoric and the more or less implicit shaming of women who do not choose that role. Your observation about "trad wives" supporting themselves (and thus women's independence) might hold water if the women doing that wasn't such a relatively small number, I can only imagine how many other women, not engaged in a monetized social media channel, are brainwashed or trapped into conforming to the ideals without that recompense.
Exactly, at least package it up to make it look a bit appealing? She gave up her dreams for him, carried eight children and has been working to make their home the coziest place ever for years and she gets a cardboard box and a patronizing 'your welcome'??
I get the impression that he gets off on denying her the things she wants/needs the most. My ex (trad) husband would buy me the most random stuff and get mad at me when I didn’t use it. Like, he bought me cake decorating stuff and expected me to take on cake decorating as a hobby even though I had never expressed an interest in it.
I went to an evangelical church as a kid and teen in the 80’s and 90’s… and we were not obsessed with “being feminine,” “serving men,” “not having careers,” etc… like not anywhere to this extent. In some ways, maybe… but I never remember being taught that “being feminine was godly,” or whatever. This stuff was not pushed this hard. (Maybe it was in some communities but it definitely wasn’t as capitalistic/consumeristic/self centered.) We were not to focus on our appearance but our character… there was really no mandate to be “feminine,” or even to be “submissive.” Yes we were supposed to be modest, and there was a question of whether we should listen to “secular music,” and so on and so forth… we weren’t supposed to be “of the world.” We weren’t supposed to play cards (used for gambling and fortune telling) and some odd restrictions such as these BUT -it wasn’t gender specific - it really wasn’t so “cultish.” Like there were certain things we couldn’t do officially as a youth group or church sponsored activity, but it was acknowledged that people could make their own choices. It was pushed like “you aren’t a real Christian if you do x,y,z.” Just that, “our denomination teaches xyz. This is the doctrine that we teach.” I really think the trad wife thing is a reaction to how far women have come since then… I try to watch trad wife content sometimes thinking their could be *some* positive take away… and I find it interesting how nearly EVERY video includes “feminism lies to us and tells us…” there is always an attack on feminism. Why is this necessary?? Because the trad wife thing is totally a backlash agains feminism and women not centering and serving men.
100% agree. I also grew up in a way that put my character before this gender role crap. I would help the women in the kitchen but my grandparents would still brag about how accomplished in other things I was. I really don't appreciate this switch to superficial nonsense. Women should be in the house because they truly want to. Not because they want to appease someone else. Some of the smartest women AND men I know wouldn't mind becoming stay at home parents, but that doesn't mean they hate feminism. We are seeing people from absurds amounts of privilege to be able to live more than comfortably off of one income, or people who are dishonest with their financial situations on social media. Just another standard set to be appealing but sometimes impossible to accomplish under the guise of liberation. It's just a guilded cage for these women.
A lot of this traditional fervor is just reactionary backlash in response to social progress tbh. Marriage equality being codified into law, mainstream acceptance (well, SOME acceptance) for certain marginalized folks, increased global awareness & communication courtesy of the internet....... Some ppl are rly scared of change. The more things change, the more they freak out. I just wish they wouldn't try to drag the rest of us into the past with them 😒
This was also my experience growing up in a missionary Baptist church in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. I was ENCOURAGED to go to college, pursue a degree and career. After I got married and had children (2005 and on) I felt like I watched local churches become radicalized conservative. We got our religious trauma in other ways.
The way that Hannah is forced to sacrifice everything she wants and loves reminds me so much of my own mom. My dad has friends from work, goes out routinely, and practices his hobbies independently. My mom doesn't do any of that. She has exactly one friend outside of family friend groups whom my dad also knows. The only time she left the house without my dad was to run errands for the family. She does not have any personal hobbies that I know of. I remember one time, me and my grandma were trying to think of a present to buy her for Christmas, she asked me what he hobbies were, and I literally could not think of a single thing to say. I do not know what my own mother likes to do with her spare time, because the only thing she does is household duties and having conversations with my dad.
Thank you so much for delving into the audience for this stuff! I've been feeling like, as usual with all this discourse around "why are women being repressed" we've been missing a key piece of the puzzle - who's driving this trend? Who's pushing women out of public life and back into the home? If the women themselves are happy - then good for them. But the fact that this content is being fuelled by a mostly male interest speaks volumes to me.
THIS. I have been SHOUTING INTO THE VOID about this. Who is driving the trend, who is pouring money into the trend, and who is making money off of it?? That's what I wanna know 😒
It’s interesting how many of the women who are really happy about being a trad wife are also so wealthy that they can stay home and not work and have perfectly curated homes.
One thing that can make some videos unrealistic is when the women wear really nice clothing while doing messy chores that have the potential to mess up their clothes. It's not good to wear a fancy ballgown or a pretty 50s dress while doing household chores that have potential to get your clothes all dirty. It is unrealistic when the clothes manage to effortlessly stay clean. I'm an artist who is actually painting while watching your video. I like to wear pretty clothes when I'm NOT painting, but you do not want to wear anything too precious when you are painting or else you get paint on your nice clothes making the clothes not as nice anymore. It just makes the tradwives who wear fancy dresses while scrubbing the toilet and effortlessly keeping their clothes nice and clean while doing messy chores seem just so unrealistic.
Lot of these 'life styles' can be faked. There is a youtuber who's exposing influencers. We don't know what goes on behind the camera, how much footage was removed, what is their life look like when they're not filming? etc. This 'trad" wife garbage is a lot like one of those influencer 'work out' lifestyle trends, where they pretend to get up at 4 or 5 am, have a 2 hour work out, go out for smoothies, go back to eat breakfast and by 10 am they're done making lunch. It's all bs. Some of these influencers have been caught faking this. Like having a time stamp at 8 am when they were pretending to get up at 4 or 5 am..
It's a good grift. Ape Jordan Peterson while looking like a cross between a Normal Rockwell painting and a pinup from a gentleman's magazine in order to sell a fantasy to lonely men that this is somehow an attainable reality for them. Damn the consequences, there's money to be made off of generating ad revenue from young, lonely guys.
That is such an excellent point and I don't understand why people don't realize that making tried wife tiktoks is a job. Money is being earned from this content. Traditionally women are not to work at all and tik tock counts. Having a business is not what traditional women are allowed to do. So if someone is a trad wife TikToker they really don't count traditional trad wife.
I do begrudge the OF models “getting their bag” if the bag niche contributes to a larger social problem, such as the very real impact that the Trad Wife movement has on women and how it mainstreams misogynistic ideas. By profiting off of making misogyny a fetish, they are contributing to the problem. It’s comparable to stuff like schoolgirl and barely legal; same book, different chapters.
These women are indeed finding a way to get their pretty images out there in the world. It's ironic that they wouldn't have a platform and no one would listen to a word they say without feminism.
What a tragedy that a hardworking, ambitious, and good-looking woman decided to submit to her control-freak stalker rather than have the police lock him up.
I'm so glad you choose this topic. Most man that demand this from their woman are dudes that can't take care of themselves in my opinion, they don't want a wife, they want a slave. I would love your husbands take on this, he will debunk this in a sec❤
Taylor, that last comment about the irony of finding feminism worth celebrating within trad-wifery is why I love your content. I always appreciate the honesty and thought you put into your videos.
I appreciate a nuanced perspective on this topic. While the tradwife lifestyle does not sit well with me, I do respect any woman's choice to become a tradwife, HOWEVER, I do worry for these women and what will happen to them if a) their husband abuses them and their kids b) their husband cheats on them, or c) their husband suddenly passes away. Their comfort is solely dependent on whether their relationship with their husband will last and that can be dangerous if there is no plan b.
One thing I’ve always said about trad wives is if you’re going to be a trad wife then you have to live the way they did back then , isolated no social media. No Netflix. No technology that we have today. If you’re not doing that it’s just cosplay and a bizarre kink to me. I don’t accept that you’re “trad” either if your husband isn’t living “trad” too aka also no social media no Netflix and only tv from thd 50s. Because being a trad wife was a byproduct of how people lived back then. Men went to work and left their wives at home and women were utterly dependent on men creating a power dynamic. The idea that someone can just enjoy a power imbalance is very dangerous and delusional. I strongly recommend people look up and read the book “why women have better sex under socialism” by a sociologist I forget her name. Provocative title but excellent book
Never have I more wanted to start my cottagecore TH-cam channel as a British, atheist, queer, single mother. Take that conservatives enjoy my homegrown sunflowers and leftist values 😁
Thank you for talking about other people who enjoy dressing like this but don't take part in the trad wive life. I study fashion history for a hobby and enjoy sewing. I've been dressing vintage and cottagecore since 2017 and it gets me annoyed when people ask if I'm a trad wive. No, I'm one of those children free by choice women with a husband that helps me ::gasp:: clean. I did grow up in the Evangelical christian lifestyle but started to deconstruct in 2015. Your videos have been really helping me over the last year to fully understand how toxic my family was to me. So thank you.
Nara strikes me as someone who just really enjoys cooking as a hobby. I resonate with that. I'm one of those people who would try to make chewing gum from scratch. I've made bread from scratch in culinary school.
Martha Stewart was there ahead of them. Making elaborate hand made stuff plus all from-scratch meals is impossible. Yet she had a huge following. I hope they found her entertaining to watch rather than an example all women should aspire to. I think I saw it in her magazine - Martha decorated her porch for Christmas with a full bale of boxwood. Of course it looked beautiful. A bale of boxwood on the 80s cost about $800. It's a game for the rich. Real women need to work and find child care. Grandma is probably working too, not available to do childcare. I hope Hannah gets a trip to Greece. Daniel can well afford it and a sitter for all the kids. Yucky life for them all.
One of the most mind boggling trends in recent years involves mommy bloggers There was an explosion of women telling mothers that they should make all of their babies food from scratch, and exclusively breastfeed (many babies cannot tolerate breast milk and several need to be supplemented with formula due to a wide range of reasons). They were telling moms to spend all day and night in the kitchen for the health and well being of their children, The fact that none of these mommy bloggers, promoted by various parenting publications, had children themselves eventually came out. * Edit because I’m tired and scatter brained.
From what it sounded like, Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith come from the same/similar religion. With how different the two appear publicly and personally (from what we've been able to see in a limited capacity), it indicates to me that a religious affiliation is not a monolithic experience. Thanks for highlighting that, if that was your intention!
I always thought Nara Smith’s content was like, a way to show off cooking with a funny story around it. “My kids wanted cereal for breakfast so I spent three hours making it from scratch”? That’s hilarious
I remember seing the grill cheese and she was making the bread. It had to took hours for this dinner. But to be fair, the grillcheese look really good.
Estee's husband just could have been truthfil and said: Just because it benefits me, makes my life easier and simpler. And, of course, let's me control everything and everyone in my family.
Hearing "being a wife and mother should be a woman's highest calling" as someone who is infertile is what kickstarted my deconstruction. Having my inability to have kids rubbed in my face and treated as a moral failing by my friends and family has hurt me so deeply that I can't even spend time with people who make that choice to be a wife and have children. I have some healing to do, I guess. But I'm never going back to the regressive, woman- hating belief system that I was raised in.
I guess I'm a tradwife but I don't call myself that. I also don't share videos of me cooking or taking care of my two daughters, although that basically is what I do most days. I went to university and got my Bachelor's degree in social work, but I've always dreamt of being a SAHM. Thankfully my husband earns enough so I can stay home with my two little girls (3,5 years and 1,5 years old). I know this isn't for everyone, but I chose this life and so did my husband. And no... I don't dress up as a 18th century woman and I don't cook from scratch every day. My marriage isn't perfect either, we fight just like most married people do. This lifestyle works for us. Other people are free to do whatever they want to.
I guess I'm a tradwife but I don't call myself that. I also don't share videos of me cooking or taking care of my two daughters, although that basically is what I do most days. I went to university and got my Bachelor's degree in social work, but I've always dreamt of being a SAHM. Thankfully my husband earns enough so I can stay home with my two little girls (3,5 years and 1,5 years old). I know this isn't for everyone, but I chose this life and so did my husband. And no... I don't dress up as a 18th century woman and I don't cook from scratch every day. My marriage isn't perfect either, we fight just like most married people do. This lifestyle works for us. Other people are free to do whatever they want to.
Next year will mark 40 years that I’ve been with my partner (married for 37 of them). We have no power dynamic in our relationship because we both have mutual love and respect for each other. Never marry anyone who wants to dominate you, in any way. There are many good and supportive men in this world.
i think the issue with Nara is more the fact she is a friendly welcoming face to a faith teeming with bigotry and sexism from every corner i think legislating whether or not she is trad misses the point
The saddest thing about these kind of believes is the incredible steadfastness with wich a lot of these people believe that what they're doing is right. I've had so many conversations with people where it is like talking to a blind person about colour.
My heart broke for the woman who got the apron. I was a traditional stay at home Mom who homeschooled for 10 years before I finally had enough of getting emotional abuse and relational breadcrumbs from my husband. I’m free now and happier than ever.
It’s simple, it’s all about the money. My mother had 11 children and let me tell you all of this tradwife is bull. My mother worked nonstop 7 days a week from 3:30am to 8:30pm supporting her family with rarely a moments break. She would not have even been able to think of creating influencer content much less creat it. I call these people out right liars and fakes. The only thing they are interested in are making money.
Yep. Both my grandparents worked in the 50s and 60s even though my grandmother was pregnant 9 times and birthed 7. My mom, the oldest of the 7, was completely parentified. Even though she is brilliant, instead of being able to go to college, she married at 19 just to get out of the house. My dad did support her going to community college but they couldn't afford for her to continue after that. That marriage didn't last for many reasons, one being my mom didn't marry him for love alone.
Trad wife as “the highest calling” seems to contradict her saying that she was okay with women wanting careers. I’m also bothered by the implicit homophobia of trad wife values.
I thought it was really funny that your sponsorship promo code said "EXCLUDES BETSEY JOHNSON", as if you were like "hey, everyone besides that b$&#! Betsey Johnson can get a great deal!!"
I can't for the life of me remember who posted it or where I saw it, but a woman on TT made probably the most perfect analogy ever describing the "choice" to be a trad-wife (more specifically, the women raised in conservative religions; they may be rare but I'm sure some of these ladies exist who maybe became religious later on, or perhaps aren't religious at all). She described the "choice" like this: someone offers you 10 candy bars, pick whichever one you like. Oh but wait, 9 of them have been poisoned. However this one over here is safe, you would be wise to pick that one. I can't speak from experience but does seem like a very accurate comparison. Sure their husbands aren't taking them to the altar literally at gunpoint, or holding them hostage in their homes (well..there probably are some assholes who treat their wives more like prisoners but the majority are just regular shmegular god fearing men). Buuuut how much of a choice is it really when you're inundated from birth with the "your duty is to be a wife and mother" worded in a million different ways. It's very much an illusion of choice but these women may not realize it. It's infuriating.
Exactly. That's why I'm actually against framing the tradwife lifestyle as a valid choice. The more normalized it is, the easier it becomes for bad actors to convince or coerce others to join in their restrictive, legalistic lifestyle. It makes it easier for a/busers to isolate their victims, esp women & kids. Not to mention, these folks generally indoctrinate those kids with their regressive views. They want to drag us back into their fantasy version the past. I don't think we should let them. 😒
It's as if they are longing for a past that never was (sort of like thinking "Gone With the Wind" was how most antebellum American Southerners really lived). In fact, the "lifestyle" of the 1950s, so often glamorized by these folks (mom, dad and 2.3 children), was a aberration from the multigeneration households most people lived in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Now, if a woman wants to be the Martha Stewart of the moment in Little House prairie garb, fine, but I believe you hit the nail on the head about whose needs are being met. I think the tradwife experience will be seen as a largely unsustainable fad which will either transform into something more like a "Martha Stewart Empire"--which interestingly is an empowered female model, but using domestic arts to accomplish that goal, or be ditched altogether as we will all have AI robots fixing our meals, heating and cooling our homes, and tutoring our kids. Just saying...
As someone who is nearing 50 years old, I can’t help but think these young twenty-somethings idealizing a past that never was the reality is supreme craziness. The women on my mother’s side going back to the early 1800s were all self-sufficient. My great grandmother ran a bakery and carried her money to the bank with a gun by her side. My grandmother took a cross country trip with my mom while my workaholic grandfather stayed home. They knew nothing of feminism but always felt that they wanted to protect themselves from being helpless as they had seen so many other women trapped in abusive marriages. It’s fine to be a trad wife, and as someone who has a career and loves to cook from scratch I can see some of the value in getting back to homemade food and other skills. However, if you’re going to do it full time you roll the dice because you are placing yourself in a position of powerlessness and potential destitution. You had better hope your marriage lasts. One ugly side of traditional gender roles was the common presence of prostitution in medieval and other early societies. Back when women were 100% dependent on men, there were no options for women whose husbands died before them or they wanted to escape an abuser. No work skills and not much is left but poverty. The past was never a Leave It to Beaver episode. Unfortunately many of these young women never got to talk to the women from the generations they idolize. That is why history often repeats itself.
I'm a trad wife to a blue-collar man, and I absolutely love my life. I dont think women should ever be forced into it, but I don't think it should be judged so harshly, either. People say feminism is about the right to choose, but anytime a woman openly chooses a lifestyle that's not typically feminist she gets flooded with hate.
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I might have to get some of these. I’m a trans guy and I got hips…most men’s underwear doesn’t fit me well. Thanks for sharing them ❤
Even more than the creepy plane seat stalking story, the forceful "you're welcome" when she didn't say "thank you" fast enough for the shitty gift is the most annoying red flag ever.
For real that struck me😳, uhm yeah, "yes problem, bro!?"
@@olaczyk yeah, he's clearly spoiled rotten.
Pissed me off so badly, I almost had to stop watching this video.
I felt that.
No question that line alone reveals an abusive power dynamic. This marriage is doomed unless he does some serious work on himself.
I love how the author of the article wasn't actually being critical or judgemental. She literally just shared her observations of her time there and shared her annoyance of Daniel taking her on ditch tours 😂
I know, right? It was supposed to be about her. She is the face of Ballerina Farm, not he.
The sycophantic followers mobbed the reporter’s video where she discusses her take post fallout. It was disturbing that they largely don’t understand that observational journalism doesn’t pull punches and how many were willing to be blatant in their misogyny.
Largely, those comments were from women.
Take ballerina farm as a warning that marrying rich is't a guarantee for a better life. If you want to live in luxury make sure that man has a good personality along with a good bank account.
and a good prenup
And won’t ask you have to more then three kids, because more than that is too fucking many…. I can’t imagine the stress women’s bodies go through when we have so many kids back to back.
Instead of marrying and depending on a rich dude, I promote being the rich and independent dude (of all genders).
Daniel seems like such a creep, oh my lord. That airplane story is so unsettling.
His behavior strikes me as coercive control
He's clearly never been told 'no' his whole life
He's so looming and stubborn, it's very creepy and unsettling.
It was giving stalker vibes and creep
Absolutely weird as shit. I get crushing hard on someone but after a certain point just take the L and move on. It's a big world.
It's pretty ironic that people fixate on the 50s and 60s for "traditional" aesthetics when, if you go back and look at 50s media, they emphasized how new and modern everything was and how much better their way of life was than the traditions of the time.
Agree. White supremacy and homophobia.
exactly, they're about as "traditional" as nail polish (the kind invented in 1916), royally pisses me off as someone who's hobbies include history (especially fashion history) hearing blatant propaganda be portrayed as traditionalism
Thinking about my grandma’s absurdity large collection of microwave cookbooks
lol yeah ain’t nobody going back to a tradition that doesn’t include a dishwasher
I wonder if that is part of why that kind of aesthetic is making a comeback. Like: "Man, remember a time when we could be optimistic about the future?"
It’s been some weeks and I’m still flabbergasted about the egg apron “gift” video. He couldn’t even take it out of the shipping package and wrap or put it in a gift bag for her. She still had to fumble around with the packaging. And then the “You’re welcome”. 😒
he did that to humiliate her & assert dominance over her. Like a reminder. Or a punishment 😒
I'm pretty sure I read somewhere she actually ordered that for herself anyways
@@firefly1993😭
It’s like a huge slap in her face. She just wanted a gift that was thoughtful and about her, not a fucking egg apron for her domestic labor. I feel bad for her genuinely, I don’t care if she “chose” this oppression and abuse.
it's a minor point, but as someone who has gathered a lot of eggs, I cannot fathom the utility of that thing. wire baskets are standard for a reason, they work just fine for small quantities. the apron is made of FABRIC, it's going to have to be washed constantly to not get completely nasty, and I still don't think you could properly clean those little pockets once they get saturated with yolk and dust and chicken shit. it's cutesy, frivolous, and utterly impractical, just like most aspects of this wealthy, IG version of "farming"
Its really annoying to see people who are into older fashion and styles, yet also adopting thos old fashioned values. The overwhelming majority of the vintage fashion community are all about the motto of "Traditional style, not traditional values". You can dress old fashion and be feminine and enjoy housework, but lets not fight to put women back into cages, PLEASE
I love older fashion, I have several outfits that are are from the 1950s to 18th century. I don't love how backwards the views were at the that time.
lmao who the fuck enjoys housework? like cooking and baking I can kind of see, but who actually like cleaning? the results of cleaning, sure, but cleaning itself? who are these unicorns?
@@KC-2049maybe once a month do i actually enjoy the process of cleaning for the focus and mind numbing is gives me lol
@@KC-2049I would rather clean than cook most of the time! 😂 Maybe we can only pick one
@@KC-2049Cleaning is highly therapeutic for me. It makes me feel like I have at least some control over my situation/environment. I don’t enjoy every task, but I generally enjoy cleaning
The way he said "you're welcome" before she said "thank you" - like even he could tell she was disappointed but ofc he couldn't blame himself for letting her down.
Misogynistic men are always so entitled
This tradwife thing drives me BONKERS bc anyone with a good understanding of history knows that this *is not & never has been* the """"traditional lifestyle"""" of the average (read: white european-descended) person in America. Women have always worked both inside & outside the home, they just weren't treated with the same respect working men received. Women were maids, nurses, midwives, cooks, wet nurses, fishwives, seamstresses......while ALSO being wives & mothers. If a woman was part of a family that owned a business, then she most likely worked for them without receiving wages (tho she DID presumably benefit from the business's prosperity, i just wanna point out the lack of paycheck). So many chores involved back breaking labor, and women were expected to perform that labor even while pregnant/post partum/nursing bc if the chores didn't get done, the whole family suffered. If they couldn't do the laundry, there were no clean clothes to wear. If they couldn't get water from the local pump & carry it home, there was no water to drink or cook or clean with. Everyone had to work hard to make a comfortable life, but women in particular had to do extra work bc even when they were maids, cooks, seamstresses etc they were also still wives & mothers too.
This goes double for women of color!! They were even more likely to be poor & lived difficult, dangerous lives. The only women who could afford to stay home & embroider were part of the wealthy upper class, and even they had their own expectations & responsibilities. There was no point in us history where every suburban house had a Mrs Cleaver with a fresh baked pie on the table every day just in time for her husband to get home from work. That's pure fantasy. The 50s themselves were a historical anomaly which only existed as a result of the very specific conditions leading up to it (namely, WW2). The Leave it to Beaver life was only for a select few ppl - it wasn't anywhere NEAR as widespread as certain media or "old-fashioned" folks would like us to believe. Their nostalgia for a time that didn't exist is largely rooted in bigotry & indoctrination. It is, essentially, propaganda in the interest of allowing certain folks to remain powerful, and to impede social & political progress for the rest of us 😒
Working class women have always done just that.
Day cares have been around since the 1800s for a reason (multiple reasons).
Everyone I know that has multiple children and lived on one income struggled, hard.
I swear Mid Century America is the new European Renaissance! Equally romanticized to an absurd degree! I honestly wouldn't be surprised if in the future we start seeing a mid century themed equivalent to the fairy/pirate/cottagecore/fantasy Ren Fair!!!
🧙🏻♂️🏴☠️🧚🏻🧝🏻♀️🏰🃏
💋👱🏻♀️👗👠🥧🧹
💯 💯 💯 💯 💯
Even the actors on Leave it to Beaver said they didn’t live the lives they portrayed and one of them said they’d never ever want to go back to the 50’s.
Exactly!!! The closest historical, Western European equivalent we have of this “trad wife” ideal of the woman staying at home and making babies, being protected from the “outside world” were the noble class!! They isolated those women from everything, and even then, they often weren’t even raising their own kids or managing the home with their own manual labor: nannies and staff were doing all that labor! *Traditionally* women hustled alongside others to get food on the table and keep a roof over their heads, while being denied any rights whatsoever. It is the FARTHEST thing from “idyllic” and is a straight up nightmare. And that’s what’s coming down the pipeline if we aren’t careful…
I can't claim to know what's going on in Hannah's head, but when I watch that clip, I see a woman who is disappointed but immediately quashes her own feelings and feigns gratefulness to avoid her husband's anger. I've been there and wouldn't wish that on anyone. For her sake, I hope that's not the case.
I find it really weird how a man with unrestricted access to air travel chose to put his wife and 8 kids in a cottage away from the world save from the internet to confirm she's happy.
Isolation is probably the goal. She has to rely on him for adult conversation & non-child human contact 😬
Let's be real he trying to control her
Oh, they aren't isolated at all. They live right next to a huge number of the wealthiest of utahns. Minutes from the metropolis.
Sorry my fiance and I are lower income and he stills gets me better gifts than that rich asshole. He bought me an entire copic set ( artists in the comments will know how $$$$ those are) because he knew I loved illustration. Hes also gotten me cheaper gifts like a favorite food or small thing from Sephora that he knew I would love , its not about the money but the fact that he wanted to make me happy and KNOWS me. I dont see anything wrong with taking care of a household but I couldnt bear a life without a partner not supporting my interests and hobbies and charity work 💔
Right? I feel really bad for her. I could never live like her or be with someone who doesn't let pursue my interests. Her social media is ballerina farms and she can't even dance ffs. I will say that the eggpron is adorable but that is only under the presumption that we would both use it. This gift just seemed like a tool to reinforce what he thinks her place is in the house, domestic slave.
Ooohhhh someone who buys copic markers for you sounds like a keeper!
Whooof what a wonderful gift! Those are indeed not cheap markers.
My daughter is an artist as a hobby while in college and she even said that someone who buys you copic markers is a keeper!!
Be still my heart!!!! Lord I see what u have done for others!!!!! :)
Good lord, EIGHT children with that guy?
I hope she's in good health.
My grandmother had five children and needed multiple surgies to help repare the permanent damage left from having so many kids back to back.
The long-term health of the woman is also pretty much never taken into consideration in these uberconservative marragies.
Yep and the twins and one that was past term did she have in the hospital. Only the one that she had that was past term did she get to have an epidural, and that was because her husband wasn't there.
@KellyDVance ...wow. I'm at a loss for words.
The only reason my grandmother got to stop having kids is because their OB/GYN refused to see my grandparents if she got pregnant again. He told my grandfather that her having anymore after 3 was playing with fire, and he put his foot down right he delivered the 5th.
I had five kids back to back. I’m perfectly fine. If the woman is healthy and sees a doctor it’s not necessarily harmful to her health. I think her creepy husband is more concerning.
@Apreeyle I'm glad that you're in good health. I'm not gonna make any assumptions about your situation.
A lot of women who are stuck and brainwashed into these abusive baby factory situations aren't so lucky, however.
This was a whole ass discussion of X a couple weeks ago; with conservative Christians saying that women should have as many kids as possible and progressive Christians telling horror stories of health issues from too many children.
@@FaptainCalcon750 ahh the context makes more sense. My situation isn’t exactly perfect. I was 16 when I had my first child. His dad was abusive. When he was 6 mos old I met my now husband at age 17. He was 26 (husband). By the time I was 23 I had four more kids and was married. Looking back, I often wonder if he groomed me. Definitely a red flag but when you’re that young you think you must be so cool and mature for an older guy to like you. I guess that’s why I say, I’m more concerned with the creepy husband.
My heart is aching for this poor woman. I can’t imagine what must be going on internally for a woman who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition and was on her way to being one of the greatest dancers in the country to give up everything, including the reasonable boundaries she had set in the first place.
you nailed it. the loss of the traditional support of a wife was one thing that made men so angry about the women's movement back in the day. back then, many men loved being treated like a king in their own houses, and they didn't have to deal with dirty diapers, cooking, cleaning, remembering birthdays for the most part. traditional wives did make men's lives easier, and their resentment of that loss is still being used politically today. i am old enough to have seen what traditional wifery was like before women's lib--and the damage it caused to women. it distresses me to see modern trad wives repeating history because they're too young to realize how harmful it can be. women's lib gave us choice: if she freely chooses to live this way, that's one thing-it's a free country, and there's nothing wrong with cooking or collecting eggs. but it's another if trad wifery is used politically to put us all back in the kitchen, or to deprive girls(/young womb-folk) of the knowledge of and access to other life options.
I dislike how tradwife content creators promote their “lifestyle” to young girls and men as the only way to live. Unlike the average girl who watches them, they have money to fall back on in case something happens to their marriage or husband. The ones who follow them will end up on the pipeline to poverty with kids they can’t afford. It’s so dangerous to only show the good and not the bad or such a risky lifestyle. Not to mention the abuse, infidelity, and isolation that many experience with this lifestyle.
As aan who raised his baby sister, here are the milestones only I saw.
her first crawl, it was backwards she screamed for a good 2 minutes. She was so proud she thought she figured it out but pushed with her arms.
Her first step.
Her first swear. It was an F bomb, I blamed my aunt for that one, it was me. Fuck was a word she heard everytime I stabbed mys3lf with nappy pin. Also her 3rd wrod.
Her first time standing.
Taught her to count, read, ride a bike.
@@julesmasseffectmusic i should clarify-i'm talking about traditional, patriarchal men, (like in the 50's). i didn't mean all men. and actually, the men of younger generations have made vast strides and have become very involved parents. credit where credit is overdue!
Just remember: "Nostalgia is the past without the guilt" and "Aesthetic is an emotion" These two things in concert can be a terrible weapon in the wrong hands.
And Nara propagates wealth pron, just with a cottagecore aesthetic
Damn, those two lines are bangers. Thanks for sharing them, fam 🥲
My cat just woke me up at six in the morning craving some chicken pate in jelly. So I went out to butcher a chicken, cooked, boned and canned the whole thing and created a fancy label. Naaaaa😂, I just served her some Whiskas.
Lmao that is such a funny image in my head. My cat can’t even wait for me to walk to the cabinet, open the can, and put it in his food dish 😂😂
That's so cute! I don't have any cats but I love them and you low-key put more effort into your cat than Daniel puts into his wife 😂
Genuinely cats are so impatient I'd be shocked if anyone could get something made for them without them making you go deaf from screeching 😂 (still love the goobers tho)
But are they Nara Smith brand Whiskas tho
This sounds like an ad for cat food 😂
Whenever I look up ACTUAL footage from the 50’s- it’s far less regressive than “tradwife,” back to the 50’s movement.
They weren’t afraid of the future, they were proud to be modern. They wanted every modern convenience. They didn’t go out of their way to make things harder on themselves. They loved buying pre-made bread!
Dude my grandmother and grandfather literally BUILT A HOUSE TOGETHER, the 50's weren't nearly as regressive as these people wanna make it look like
Working class women always worked. There were plenty of women nurses, teachers, phone operators, secretaries, retail workers and more during the 1950s. Also, the 50s was a time of luxury. After a generation of the Great Depression and WWII, people were glad to relax from hard work and scrimping and pinching. Many Women loved having TV dinners, automatic dryers, canned and processed foods, chain restaurants and store bought clothes. Most women were not making sourdough bread as that was seen as old timey frontier food, Wonder Bread was the way of the future! Instead of canning peaches in August, you could just buy a can of peaches at the store
My mom inherited my grandma’s very extensive collection of microwave cookbooks when she died
Must’ve been like 40 of them
Hahaha! Interesting distinction between these two eras!!!!!
@@michiganscythian2445 Right! This idea that women were not, running shops, bakeries, midwifing, nursing, in the military, fixing engines, running farms, being housekeepers. My Grandma literally worked from the time she landed in NYC till a few years before she died in our home.
My absusive ex asked me to be his girlfriend after meeting in person one time and having talked for a month or so. I said no and he asked several more times over the next month until I said yes. And you know what inspired me to be okay with this kind of thing? My college pastor told a story about him asking his wife out many times and her turning him down. I also concocted a way to determine my "husband" in my mind based on past relationship trauma. (I believed this was God though) I said that the person meant to be my husband would apologize to me. Well after my ex was creepy and freaked me out, he got offended by my reaction and threatened to leave, I begged him to stay, and then he apologized. From that moment, i believed the holy spirit showed me he was my husband and I ignored and excused toxic and abusive behavior from then on for the next 7 years.
I am free from that relationship AND religion now, but i just can relate to the weirdness of being "pursued" like i was taught to believe was good and normal.
I hear some really creepy stories from relatives. I am glad we live in a time where there are at least some people out there that care about women's consent. I think it's actually quite vile that marriage can be seen as a form of protection for women to avoid creepy entitled men and a means to be able to go out without being bordeline, or even full on, harassed. There are some spaces I still avoid due to them having a bunch of pigs.
Also glad you made it out!
Gurl that ex sounds horrible I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you made it out
😭🩷
As someone who lives in Sweden, this is so foreign to me... I don't think most people here would think their story is cute, in fact, most would think it's highly abusive and controlling. Most Swedes watch horrified at the Mormons and fundamental Christians of the US... Also, how funny you want to visit my country! Everything is tiny here, but I think that's what makes it beautiful :) Love your channel! I was too brought up Christian but have deconstructed.
the way connor talks about his wife is so infantilizing. especially the ‘she doesn’t talk back’ comment, it’s the way a father would speak about his daughter
Right. He means that she never argues with him and gives him all the peace and quiet he wants. Can't wait till they crank out a bunch of kids and all that peace gets interrupted.
That’s how it is in religious relationships. Women are seen as childlike and even raised to be that way because it strokes the man’s ego. The play Doll House explains this well.
The thing that I find SUPER interesting about “trad wives,” is that it’s so purposefully regressive.
I mean the whole ideology is “everything was better in the 50’s.”
Yet if you look at the actual traditional wives of the 50’s- they were proud to be modern and futuristic.
They were also- even though many of not most were Christian, they were not so… “cultish” about it for the most part. They went to church and tried to be good Christian’s and good citizens and all that but their lives didn’t quite revolve around being regressive and Uber religious.
Like my very Catholic grandma who was legit a 50’s housewife ended up with an absurdly large collection of microwave cookbooks
They ignore that for most of human history, women worked outside the home and only a minority was at home all day being only a housewife. Women have always worked on the family farm, or helped at the husband’s store or worked independently from their families. Because of course, when you’re a poor farmer like most people have been for a large part of human history, you can rarely afford to have one member of the family not helping. And even in the 50’s women were in the workforce
The worst part for me is women truly believe they are equal in their marriage, but when you actually look at the dynamic they are always below their husband and he never sees the work she does in the home as equitable to his own.
I think you hit the nail on the head with the Nara Smith section. There’s a vast difference between enjoying stereotypically feminine activities or wanting to be a homemaker and thinking that that is what the norm or goal should be for all women. Trad wife social media leans very heavily on the latter whether implicitly or not.
Nara is always in these vids and she's so odd compared to everyone else so I'm glad Taylor mentioned it. She rarely has her kids on camera, she was (and is?) a model who is probably just aging out of big fashion contracts, and she doesn't seem to ever promote ideologies. The criticism is almost always that she dresses up and cooks the most random things that everyone else would just buy at the store. But... It's a tiktok production. She seems to always be very obviously producing this content with an aesthetic in mind, and she even has a schtick of always saying "my [relative] told me they wanted [processed snack] so I decided to make it from scratch" with slight variations. Then she cooks whatever it was in like a cocktail dress or a ball gown or something. She even mentions that she is working and she has a nanny and housekeeper. She's basically the most upfront of the people who always get roped into the trad wives group.
💯 you hit the nail on the head with the ideologies that are being promoted, whether implicitly or not!
I may be morbid but Ballerina Farm sounds like an obscure horror movie title.
Washed butter - WHAT THE FFFFFFUCK!
Leaving the astonishment of washing the butter aside, poor woman. She is trapped in an abusive marriage. Her husband is so self centered and weird. She refused him and he followed her harder. The gift short was soo sad, she wanted a vacation so hard but she got an apron.
Oh that’s a thing.
Hahaha! That would make a great horror movie title! Yep, washing your butter is part of the process of making homemade butter as far as I know.
You have to wash homemade butter
Ballerina Farms screamed polygamist cult to me. One man and all of his...ballerinas 🤮
Beyond sad, it was abusive. It was calculated to hurt her, and then filmed and published to humiliate her.
So while picking berries to make jam for breakfast, filming and editing all in spotless 50’s garb… who takes care of the 3-8 kids?
I mean, if her husband is too cheap to hire a nanny, then it wouldn't surprise me if their older children are parentified.
I am so tempted to make a "trad wife" TikTok account as an openly gay transgender man. Wearing a trans flag apron that I made myself while regrouting the bathroom with homemade caulk because my husband deserves to not have to worry about home repairs.
Dooo ittt
Please, PLEASE, do this.
Go girl ! Power to you 💪
@@sunnysengupta7556 I'm a guy. But I'll take "guuuuurl."
EWW 🤢🤮
Drew, take this woman to Sweeden.
Your point about the fetish aspect makes a lot of the phenomenon more clear. It's a D/s dynamic (Dominant/submissive). D/s can be a fun, sexy, safe way to play, but whenever a D/s dynamic becomes 24/7 fulltime, the risk of abuse becomes extremely high. And this D/s dynamic has extra pull due to it's cultural ubiquity.
There's a lot less risk of accidentally falling into an abusive dynamic with, say, a pup/handler relationship because we dont grow up making sense of ourselves through that lens the way we do with traditional gender roles.
And then, of course, no one is going around saying "everyone would be so much happier and society would be more stable if they could just be in a pup/handler relationship like mine"
Excellent point. Maybe some pup/handler pairs need to start a "pup wife" trend 🤣🤣🤣. Let's stop trying logic. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
This is an excellent and very serious point. I've seen this being played out in my own daughters life and its horrible.
Also, D/s relations inherently require very high emotional maturity. That's why if you meet doms in person, they are surprising very chill.
Also tradwives can't exactly safeword out...
I mean maybe they should say that
I hope Drew gets you an egg apron, with tickets to Sweden in one of the pockets 😂
Oh in a hat for her to wear in Sweden 😂
I'm a cishet man and love cooking and baking... and love to do it for and together with my friends and family. What does it make me... a untrad bloke!? xD
😂 That’s awesome! Do you have any fav things to cook/bake?
Cooking is a manly endeavor! Many of the best chefs were men. Men have always cooked for all of history.
@@theantibot Thanks! For sure!
I love cooking Italian and Swiss traditional dishes and as for baking, my father used to bake a fresh Challah like bread (tresse in Swiss French) every sunday morning and I've kept that tradition, when possible.
And I'm a sucker for fresh made pesto genovese or a good old
Älplermagronen, the Swiss version of Mac & Cheese. .
I've got an anecdote to go with this^^ I have horses, and one of my former barn owners would cook for his boarders, along with his girlfriend and their kid. I ate with them quite frequently after moving there, and when I hadn't for a few days, their little boy asked me why I hadn't eaten with them recently, so I said that I had simply cooked for myself. Cue him looking at me with big eyes, going: "Don't you have a papa?" (I'm a woman in her thirties, for context)
That was just so cute 😂
I think many people can and do enjoy cooking. These days you’re damned if you do or don’t. If a woman likes homemaking she’s a tradwife setting women back, if man likes homemaking he isn’t masculine. I say leave people alone to do what they enjoy. Homemaking is a thing that needs to be done one way or another may as well let the one who likes doing it do it man or woman
Where do these "trad men" work that they can afford supporting their whole family on one income in today's economy? The times when you could do that are long gone.
And also, the irony of these women claiming to be "trad wives" while having a whole job making money online, with a whole team of people behind them (baby sitters, editiors, videographers...) is absolutely RICH 😂
If they are Jet Blue they can afford it.
That's the thing. For these influencers, it's all good bc they actually have a job (being an influencer). But for irl tradwives, unless their husbands are rich, THEY'RE MOST LIKELY NOT BEING PROPERLY SUPPORTED!
You mean being an airline heir (that feels funny to say) isn’t an attainable dream for us all?
The girl who made the bubble gum creeped me out. The softly spoken creepy voice and deadpan face just made my skin crawl
As a vintage fashion girlie myself, I do not want to be associated with these women. It’s very understandable why Trad Wives have co-opted the 1950s, but as a lover of the era’s fashion and decor it still hurts me. Trad Wives feel like a slap in the face to the real women of the 1950s who did work hard to gain independence outside the home.
As we say in the vintage fashion community: Vintage Vibes, Not Vintage Values!
Why are the Husbands of trad wives always so creepy?
Every time I see the egg apron clip I feel like I have to crawl out of my skin and find myself looking away a bunch. It's abuse. We (as viewers) are being brought in as tools of abusive humiliation. Feels awful
A woman choosing the role of wife and mother is entirely valid; what I have a problem with is the suspiciously conservative xtian "highest calling" rhetoric and the more or less implicit shaming of women who do not choose that role.
Your observation about "trad wives" supporting themselves (and thus women's independence) might hold water if the women doing that wasn't such a relatively small number, I can only imagine how many other women, not engaged in a monetized social media channel, are brainwashed or trapped into conforming to the ideals without that recompense.
Damn, he could have at least wrapped the apron in some nice gift paper.
Exactly, at least package it up to make it look a bit appealing? She gave up her dreams for him, carried eight children and has been working to make their home the coziest place ever for years and she gets a cardboard box and a patronizing 'your welcome'??
I get the impression that he gets off on denying her the things she wants/needs the most. My ex (trad) husband would buy me the most random stuff and get mad at me when I didn’t use it. Like, he bought me cake decorating stuff and expected me to take on cake decorating as a hobby even though I had never expressed an interest in it.
I went to an evangelical church as a kid and teen in the 80’s and 90’s… and we were not obsessed with “being feminine,” “serving men,” “not having careers,” etc… like not anywhere to this extent. In some ways, maybe… but I never remember being taught that “being feminine was godly,” or whatever. This stuff was not pushed this hard. (Maybe it was in some communities but it definitely wasn’t as capitalistic/consumeristic/self centered.)
We were not to focus on our appearance but our character… there was really no mandate to be “feminine,” or even to be “submissive.”
Yes we were supposed to be modest, and there was a question of whether we should listen to “secular music,” and so on and so forth… we weren’t supposed to be “of the world.” We weren’t supposed to play cards (used for gambling and fortune telling) and some odd restrictions such as these BUT
-it wasn’t gender specific
- it really wasn’t so “cultish.” Like there were certain things we couldn’t do officially as a youth group or church sponsored activity, but it was acknowledged that people could make their own choices. It was pushed like “you aren’t a real Christian if you do x,y,z.” Just that, “our denomination teaches xyz. This is the doctrine that we teach.”
I really think the trad wife thing is a reaction to how far women have come since then… I try to watch trad wife content sometimes thinking their could be *some* positive take away… and I find it interesting how nearly EVERY video includes “feminism lies to us and tells us…” there is always an attack on feminism. Why is this necessary?? Because the trad wife thing is totally a backlash agains feminism and women not centering and serving men.
100% agree. I also grew up in a way that put my character before this gender role crap. I would help the women in the kitchen but my grandparents would still brag about how accomplished in other things I was. I really don't appreciate this switch to superficial nonsense. Women should be in the house because they truly want to. Not because they want to appease someone else. Some of the smartest women AND men I know wouldn't mind becoming stay at home parents, but that doesn't mean they hate feminism. We are seeing people from absurds amounts of privilege to be able to live more than comfortably off of one income, or people who are dishonest with their financial situations on social media. Just another standard set to be appealing but sometimes impossible to accomplish under the guise of liberation. It's just a guilded cage for these women.
A lot of this traditional fervor is just reactionary backlash in response to social progress tbh. Marriage equality being codified into law, mainstream acceptance (well, SOME acceptance) for certain marginalized folks, increased global awareness & communication courtesy of the internet.......
Some ppl are rly scared of change. The more things change, the more they freak out. I just wish they wouldn't try to drag the rest of us into the past with them 😒
This was also my experience growing up in a missionary Baptist church in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. I was ENCOURAGED to go to college, pursue a degree and career.
After I got married and had children (2005 and on) I felt like I watched local churches become radicalized conservative.
We got our religious trauma in other ways.
I'm not a trad wife. I practice land/earth witchcraft but I see some things in common.
I like wearing the little frilly covering with skirts
Please be aware that as a Finnish person I will be personally devastated if you decide to visit Sweden instead of Finland.
The way that Hannah is forced to sacrifice everything she wants and loves reminds me so much of my own mom. My dad has friends from work, goes out routinely, and practices his hobbies independently. My mom doesn't do any of that. She has exactly one friend outside of family friend groups whom my dad also knows. The only time she left the house without my dad was to run errands for the family. She does not have any personal hobbies that I know of. I remember one time, me and my grandma were trying to think of a present to buy her for Christmas, she asked me what he hobbies were, and I literally could not think of a single thing to say. I do not know what my own mother likes to do with her spare time, because the only thing she does is household duties and having conversations with my dad.
"there's no higher calling for a woman"
nuns: uhhhhhh.....
Highest calling is financial freedom and autonomy
Thank you so much for delving into the audience for this stuff! I've been feeling like, as usual with all this discourse around "why are women being repressed" we've been missing a key piece of the puzzle - who's driving this trend? Who's pushing women out of public life and back into the home? If the women themselves are happy - then good for them. But the fact that this content is being fuelled by a mostly male interest speaks volumes to me.
THIS. I have been SHOUTING INTO THE VOID about this. Who is driving the trend, who is pouring money into the trend, and who is making money off of it?? That's what I wanna know 😒
@@bbo7002 Yes yes yes. Unfortunately i our current system, the big question is always, as Carlin said: who’s paying for this s**t?
It’s interesting how many of the women who are really happy about being a trad wife are also so wealthy that they can stay home and not work and have perfectly curated homes.
Or sometimes trying to sell you some MLMs lol.
One thing that can make some videos unrealistic is when the women wear really nice clothing while doing messy chores that have the potential to mess up their clothes. It's not good to wear a fancy ballgown or a pretty 50s dress while doing household chores that have potential to get your clothes all dirty. It is unrealistic when the clothes manage to effortlessly stay clean. I'm an artist who is actually painting while watching your video. I like to wear pretty clothes when I'm NOT painting, but you do not want to wear anything too precious when you are painting or else you get paint on your nice clothes making the clothes not as nice anymore. It just makes the tradwives who wear fancy dresses while scrubbing the toilet and effortlessly keeping their clothes nice and clean while doing messy chores seem just so unrealistic.
It's not done in one take.
The journalist who did this interview and article is a freaking god at writing. She did some show don’t tell magic everywhere and it was incredible.
Oh my god I’ve just been waiting for the next antibot video to drop
How convenient for Nara Smith to have a cameraman around the house during cooking 🙂
Lot of these 'life styles' can be faked. There is a youtuber who's exposing influencers. We don't know what goes on behind the camera, how much footage was removed, what is their life look like when they're not filming? etc. This 'trad" wife garbage is a lot like one of those influencer 'work out' lifestyle trends, where they pretend to get up at 4 or 5 am, have a 2 hour work out, go out for smoothies, go back to eat breakfast and by 10 am they're done making lunch. It's all bs. Some of these influencers have been caught faking this. Like having a time stamp at 8 am when they were pretending to get up at 4 or 5 am..
Estee has 🦞 big lobster energy 🦞 when she's talking about order and chaos.
It's a good grift.
Ape Jordan Peterson while looking like a cross between a Normal Rockwell painting and a pinup from a gentleman's magazine in order to sell a fantasy to lonely men that this is somehow an attainable reality for them. Damn the consequences, there's money to be made off of generating ad revenue from young, lonely guys.
That is such an excellent point and I don't understand why people don't realize that making tried wife tiktoks is a job. Money is being earned from this content. Traditionally women are not to work at all and tik tock counts. Having a business is not what traditional women are allowed to do. So if someone is a trad wife TikToker they really don't count traditional trad wife.
I do begrudge the OF models “getting their bag” if the bag niche contributes to a larger social problem, such as the very real impact that the Trad Wife movement has on women and how it mainstreams misogynistic ideas. By profiting off of making misogyny a fetish, they are contributing to the problem. It’s comparable to stuff like schoolgirl and barely legal; same book, different chapters.
These women are indeed finding a way to get their pretty images out there in the world. It's ironic that they wouldn't have a platform and no one would listen to a word they say without feminism.
What a tragedy that a hardworking, ambitious, and good-looking woman decided to submit to her control-freak stalker rather than have the police lock him up.
17:43 “Being a wife and mother should be your top priority, always.”
GIRL. As a lesbian who does not want children, shut up.
I'm so glad you choose this topic. Most man that demand this from their woman are dudes that can't take care of themselves in my opinion, they don't want a wife, they want a slave. I would love your husbands take on this, he will debunk this in a sec❤
They want a bang maid who is also their mother 🤔
Nara used to advertise that being 19 and having kids is the way to do it
Dan definitely considers Hannah’s wants and needs to determine how to squelch them. He is a raging narcissist
Taylor, that last comment about the irony of finding feminism worth celebrating within trad-wifery is why I love your content. I always appreciate the honesty and thought you put into your videos.
I appreciate a nuanced perspective on this topic. While the tradwife lifestyle does not sit well with me, I do respect any woman's choice to become a tradwife, HOWEVER, I do worry for these women and what will happen to them if a) their husband abuses them and their kids b) their husband cheats on them, or c) their husband suddenly passes away. Their comfort is solely dependent on whether their relationship with their husband will last and that can be dangerous if there is no plan b.
One thing I’ve always said about trad wives is if you’re going to be a trad wife then you have to live the way they did back then , isolated no social media. No Netflix. No technology that we have today. If you’re not doing that it’s just cosplay and a bizarre kink to me. I don’t accept that you’re “trad” either if your husband isn’t living “trad” too aka also no social media no Netflix and only tv from thd 50s. Because being a trad wife was a byproduct of how people lived back then. Men went to work and left their wives at home and women were utterly dependent on men creating a power dynamic. The idea that someone can just enjoy a power imbalance is very dangerous and delusional. I strongly recommend people look up and read the book “why women have better sex under socialism” by a sociologist I forget her name. Provocative title but excellent book
June Cleaver seemed happy. Except for that episode where Beaver refused to ear Brussel Sprouts.
Never have I more wanted to start my cottagecore TH-cam channel as a British, atheist, queer, single mother. Take that conservatives enjoy my homegrown sunflowers and leftist values 😁
Thank you for talking about other people who enjoy dressing like this but don't take part in the trad wive life.
I study fashion history for a hobby and enjoy sewing. I've been dressing vintage and cottagecore since 2017 and it gets me annoyed when people ask if I'm a trad wive. No, I'm one of those children free by choice women with a husband that helps me ::gasp:: clean.
I did grow up in the Evangelical christian lifestyle but started to deconstruct in 2015. Your videos have been really helping me over the last year to fully understand how toxic my family was to me. So thank you.
Nara strikes me as someone who just really enjoys cooking as a hobby. I resonate with that. I'm one of those people who would try to make chewing gum from scratch. I've made bread from scratch in culinary school.
How come darker skinned people rarely if ever idolize the 1950s?🤔
Martha Stewart was there ahead of them. Making elaborate hand made stuff plus all from-scratch meals is impossible. Yet she had a huge following. I hope they found her entertaining to watch rather than an example all women should aspire to. I think I saw it in her magazine - Martha decorated her porch for Christmas with a full bale of boxwood. Of course it looked beautiful. A bale of boxwood on the 80s cost about $800. It's a game for the rich. Real women need to work and find child care. Grandma is probably working too, not available to do childcare.
I hope Hannah gets a trip to Greece. Daniel can well afford it and a sitter for all the kids. Yucky life for them all.
One of the most mind boggling trends in recent years involves mommy bloggers
There was an explosion of women telling mothers that they should make all of their babies food from scratch, and exclusively breastfeed (many babies cannot tolerate breast milk and several need to be supplemented with formula due to a wide range of reasons).
They were telling moms to spend all day and night in the kitchen for the health and well being of their children,
The fact that none of these mommy bloggers, promoted by various parenting publications, had children themselves eventually came out.
* Edit because I’m tired and scatter brained.
Martha had staff who actually prepared everything for her
From what it sounded like, Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith come from the same/similar religion. With how different the two appear publicly and personally (from what we've been able to see in a limited capacity), it indicates to me that a religious affiliation is not a monolithic experience. Thanks for highlighting that, if that was your intention!
A lot of these tradwives live in a hell of their own making.
And they just view their setbacks as a noble sacrifice.
I always thought Nara Smith’s content was like, a way to show off cooking with a funny story around it. “My kids wanted cereal for breakfast so I spent three hours making it from scratch”? That’s hilarious
I remember seing the grill cheese and she was making the bread. It had to took hours for this dinner.
But to be fair, the grillcheese look really good.
So he pestered her for 6 months and then trapped her in place next to him for hours and that's how their relationship started? That's gross.
Estee's husband just could have been truthfil and said: Just because it benefits me, makes my life easier and simpler. And, of course, let's me control everything and everyone in my family.
As a traditional masculine man who doesn't want a partner, this is ongoing proof that the patriarchy hurts all of us. Let people pursue what they want
You sir are a masculine man's man.
Hearing "being a wife and mother should be a woman's highest calling" as someone who is infertile is what kickstarted my deconstruction. Having my inability to have kids rubbed in my face and treated as a moral failing by my friends and family has hurt me so deeply that I can't even spend time with people who make that choice to be a wife and have children. I have some healing to do, I guess. But I'm never going back to the regressive, woman- hating belief system that I was raised in.
I'm exmuslim and I'm childfree by choice and I'm sending you a huge 🫂 🤗
I guess I'm a tradwife but I don't call myself that. I also don't share videos of me cooking or taking care of my two daughters, although that basically is what I do most days. I went to university and got my Bachelor's degree in social work, but I've always dreamt of being a SAHM. Thankfully my husband earns enough so I can stay home with my two little girls (3,5 years and 1,5 years old).
I know this isn't for everyone, but I chose this life and so did my husband. And no... I don't dress up as a 18th century woman and I don't cook from scratch every day. My marriage isn't perfect either, we fight just like most married people do. This lifestyle works for us. Other people are free to do whatever they want to.
I guess I'm a tradwife but I don't call myself that. I also don't share videos of me cooking or taking care of my two daughters, although that basically is what I do most days. I went to university and got my Bachelor's degree in social work, but I've always dreamt of being a SAHM. Thankfully my husband earns enough so I can stay home with my two little girls (3,5 years and 1,5 years old).
I know this isn't for everyone, but I chose this life and so did my husband. And no... I don't dress up as a 18th century woman and I don't cook from scratch every day. My marriage isn't perfect either, we fight just like most married people do. This lifestyle works for us. Other people are free to do whatever they want to.
Next year will mark 40 years that I’ve been with my partner (married for 37 of them). We have no power dynamic in our relationship because we both have mutual love and respect for each other. Never marry anyone who wants to dominate you, in any way. There are many good and supportive men in this world.
"obedient wife on knees" is not something I would expect to follow tiktok's TOS.
i think the issue with Nara is more the fact she is a friendly welcoming face to a faith teeming with bigotry and sexism from every corner
i think legislating whether or not she is trad misses the point
Return to order in a chaotic world is just fascisim
I’m so here for The rAntibot
i hope drew gets you a egg apron (could be used while cooking still) and hides the plane tickets in the pockets
The egg apron video is SO SAD. I can't believe they posted it lol
I could listen to you talk for hours!
"...You're welcome."
"Thank you!"
Oh boy. 😬
Drew has the opportunity to get you the funniest gift ever 👀
The saddest thing about these kind of believes is the incredible steadfastness with wich a lot of these people believe that what they're doing is right. I've had so many conversations with people where it is like talking to a blind person about colour.
I don't have anything against tradwives as a concept. What I do have a big problem with is tradwives trying to force that lifestyle on all women.
My heart broke for the woman who got the apron. I was a traditional stay at home Mom who homeschooled for 10 years before I finally had enough of getting emotional abuse and relational breadcrumbs from my husband. I’m free now and happier than ever.
Considering she said MY egg apron, I wonder if he even bought it for her or if it had been in her cart and he just clicked buy or something…
It’s simple, it’s all about the money. My mother had 11 children and let me tell you all of this tradwife is bull. My mother worked nonstop 7 days a week from 3:30am to 8:30pm supporting her family with rarely a moments break. She would not have even been able to think of creating influencer content much less creat it. I call these people out right liars and fakes. The only thing they are interested in are making money.
Yep. Both my grandparents worked in the 50s and 60s even though my grandmother was pregnant 9 times and birthed 7. My mom, the oldest of the 7, was completely parentified. Even though she is brilliant, instead of being able to go to college, she married at 19 just to get out of the house. My dad did support her going to community college but they couldn't afford for her to continue after that. That marriage didn't last for many reasons, one being my mom didn't marry him for love alone.
Trad wife as “the highest calling” seems to contradict her saying that she was okay with women wanting careers. I’m also bothered by the implicit homophobia of trad wife values.
I thought it was really funny that your sponsorship promo code said "EXCLUDES BETSEY JOHNSON", as if you were like "hey, everyone besides that b$&#! Betsey Johnson can get a great deal!!"
You are so on the money about Nara Smith not really being a tradwife, and the difference between aesthetic and covert alt right content
I can't for the life of me remember who posted it or where I saw it, but a woman on TT made probably the most perfect analogy ever describing the "choice" to be a trad-wife (more specifically, the women raised in conservative religions; they may be rare but I'm sure some of these ladies exist who maybe became religious later on, or perhaps aren't religious at all). She described the "choice" like this: someone offers you 10 candy bars, pick whichever one you like. Oh but wait, 9 of them have been poisoned. However this one over here is safe, you would be wise to pick that one. I can't speak from experience but does seem like a very accurate comparison. Sure their husbands aren't taking them to the altar literally at gunpoint, or holding them hostage in their homes (well..there probably are some assholes who treat their wives more like prisoners but the majority are just regular shmegular god fearing men). Buuuut how much of a choice is it really when you're inundated from birth with the "your duty is to be a wife and mother" worded in a million different ways. It's very much an illusion of choice but these women may not realize it. It's infuriating.
Exactly. That's why I'm actually against framing the tradwife lifestyle as a valid choice. The more normalized it is, the easier it becomes for bad actors to convince or coerce others to join in their restrictive, legalistic lifestyle. It makes it easier for a/busers to isolate their victims, esp women & kids. Not to mention, these folks generally indoctrinate those kids with their regressive views.
They want to drag us back into their fantasy version the past. I don't think we should let them. 😒
It's as if they are longing for a past that never was (sort of like thinking "Gone With the Wind" was how most antebellum American Southerners really lived). In fact, the "lifestyle" of the 1950s, so often glamorized by these folks (mom, dad and 2.3 children), was a aberration from the multigeneration households most people lived in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Now, if a woman wants to be the Martha Stewart of the moment in Little House prairie garb, fine, but I believe you hit the nail on the head about whose needs are being met. I think the tradwife experience will be seen as a largely unsustainable fad which will either transform into something more like a "Martha Stewart Empire"--which interestingly is an empowered female model, but using domestic arts to accomplish that goal, or be ditched altogether as we will all have AI robots fixing our meals, heating and cooling our homes, and tutoring our kids. Just saying...
You look amazing in that set from Parade!!
Thank you!
As someone who is nearing 50 years old, I can’t help but think these young twenty-somethings idealizing a past that never was the reality is supreme craziness. The women on my mother’s side going back to the early 1800s were all self-sufficient. My great grandmother ran a bakery and carried her money to the bank with a gun by her side. My grandmother took a cross country trip with my mom while my workaholic grandfather stayed home. They knew nothing of feminism but always felt that they wanted to protect themselves from being helpless as they had seen so many other women trapped in abusive marriages.
It’s fine to be a trad wife, and as someone who has a career and loves to cook from scratch I can see some of the value in getting back to homemade food and other skills. However, if you’re going to do it full time you roll the dice because you are placing yourself in a position of powerlessness and potential destitution. You had better hope your marriage lasts. One ugly side of traditional gender roles was the common presence of prostitution in medieval and other early societies. Back when women were 100% dependent on men, there were no options for women whose husbands died before them or they wanted to escape an abuser. No work skills and not much is left but poverty.
The past was never a Leave It to Beaver episode. Unfortunately many of these young women never got to talk to the women from the generations they idolize. That is why history often repeats itself.
I'm a trad wife to a blue-collar man, and I absolutely love my life. I dont think women should ever be forced into it, but I don't think it should be judged so harshly, either. People say feminism is about the right to choose, but anytime a woman openly chooses a lifestyle that's not typically feminist she gets flooded with hate.
Motherhood should never be performative.
Jet Blue disclosing passenger information to the son of the owner is so damn crappy. What the eff?