I was late diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago and with all the books I’ve read, podcasts listened to and videos watched about ADHD, I have never in my life felt as understood as I do right now listening to this psychologist. Thanks for another great video Alex
I only discovered that I am ADHD 18 months ago at the age of 63.. 😩 Suddenly I understood why navigating 'normality' has always felt so complicated. I wish I had known 40 years earlier...
This is so true…exercise is a life saver…I personally have struggled with this due to chronic illness (debilitating fibromyalgia pain)…it’s a vicious circle as when you can’t exercise the anger builds and there’s nowhere to defer the excess energy to and this causes further issues with my illness.
@@ferncurtis2437I can relate, I've got chronic pain in my foot that is a result of a bad treatment when I was a teenager. Re fibromylagia, have you ever investigated parasites? I know oersonally a case where it was mistaken for for years. Worth trying. I have seen so many cases in family and friends misdiagnosed that I always seek a second or third opinion. In any case I hope it can somehow get better. Havent lost hope for my foot, just trying to figure out what will help me :)
The people pleasing piece has been so detrimental to my life. I've suppressed my authenticity and needs for so many years. Working on setting those boundaries, saying no without guilt and shame. It's such hard work and the shame of feeling like an awful person is killing me.
@@marissaproulx3516here with you. I recently set very good boundaries with my bery very narcissistic brother. His angry response that was meant to diminish me was. Uhhhh I believe you need therapy. Made me laugh so much as I've been in therapy for 2 y now to deal with my post partum depression and well I learned a lot more ;) and rhen I said. This upsetting no longer agreable behaviour is a result of therapy. Now your turn to deal with it. The shock he was in, priceless. Keep on the work, it will be rewarding.
Degeneration of human brain. "When you talk to primary school teachers, they confirm that children are being stupid. Research shows that degeneration of brain ability is directly proportional to the number of hours spent in the digital world, ” says neurologist Martin Jan Stránský.
Absolutely oxytocin! There's a trick if you have to be alone that I use all the time lol. I learned it from a dr at children's hospital to help my preemie nephew calm down and/or sleep. Crossing your arms in front of your chest and resting your hands near each shoulder calms you/them down bc it releases oxytocin. I often don't cross my arms but just have them both up in front of my chest with my hands under my chin lying on my side and that works very well and is much more natural and comfortable. If I'm having a really hard time I will cross them and do slow deep breathing at the same time and I can usually calm down enough to sleep. A gentle heating pad or anything warm on your chest will also do the trick, as long as you're not hot lol.
I only realised that I'm ADHD about 18 months ago, at the age of 63... 😩 At first it came as something of a relief and some kind of justification for my lifetime of random actions followed by regret. And then the depression arrived at the realisation that navigating 'normal' life would have been so much less stressful and easier to traverse if I'd had a diagnosis decades earlier. Just feels way too late now..,
I was DX at 58. I feel the same way, but it's never too late to lead an easier, better life. The what ifs are normal but will kill you if you stay in that head place.
I am also 63, I hear you. I feel that way a lot BUT I try and live in the moment and squeeze every last ounce of joy out of the experience now. Compounded by the fact that earlier this year I lost my best friend in the whole world and so I want to feel everything on her behalf and live with as much enthusiasm as I am able
Hey, I'm similar - coming up 50 soon. You can turn it on its head and think that - if you'd been born 30 years earlier then you would have entirely missed out on being part of the emerging understanding right now. Not too late - the greatest day of your life could still be 2 decades away ❤
I have so much trouble with shame since my mother had NPD and my ADHD made her furious. Even though I wasn't DX until an adult. I wasn't the perfect child she demanded and she made sure I knew it. Every day.
Really interesting chat! I only ever feel potential understood as an ADHD woman when I hear things from others that really resonate with me. Im a 42 year old female, diagnosed last year. I’ve had a lucky existence living with this condition. I say luck my because I’ve had a lot of support and help, not the correct support and help but I managed. How the perimenopause hits and it’s a game changer, I’m practically disabled 80% of the week. I work quick and fast, then live in waiting mode at home with paralysis. Not a fun existence
Ironically it’s 1am watching this 🙈😂 I want this man for a doctor. Scotland’s psychiatry on understanding adhd is horrendous, which causes medical trauma. Fantastic interview. Thank you. I feel normal ♥️🤜🏻🤛🏻
Get dr RusselBarkley books he’s extraordinary as well as his TH-cam channel he had a twin brother who died with ADHD so he experienced first hand 🤚 the issues we face! Good luck to you - it can get way better! Keep searching! ❤
I tend to interrupt a conversation, then if I start to talk I may start at the beginning then end, then the middle of my conversation I hadn't realised how bad it was until someone pointed it out; now I try not to talk to people and I try to stay away from people. I'm also very anxious and start to stutter. I'm also suffering from trauma through narcissistic abuse. So I can't stop telling myself how pathetic I am, I don't remember very much about my childhood.
Positive self affirmations can help. And most important you deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel worthy, you deserve to live the live that you want just as much as everyone else does. We are all born with the same birth right, of course in very different circumstances and for some life is more challenching than for others but aside from that you deserve to be just as happy. Doing positive affirmations and therefore starting to believe in myself, my abilities and even start to like myself has helped me personally the most. I still have ADHD but can manage situations much more relaxed and with much more comprehension for myself. I believe you, life and people weren't treating you always fair but as mentioned you deserve to be happy and truly feel that way. You can do it, you kind of have to help yourself and start to believe in yourself. Let the self blame go and start living for yourself 😊 ✨️
sounds like you have unresolved childhood trauma. I would suggest doing some inner child work. btw, empathic, pleaser types are magnets for narcissists. It's not that you're pathetic, it's that you trusted a smooth operator. Like I did a couple of times.
OMG, I have the same thing going on in terms of butting into conversations, and then my sentences not making complete sense. I stay to myself an awful lot and am mindful of my contributions at work due to the non sensical sentence structure of mine. When I feel self conscious in a group setting I have a stammer, too or I worble my words.
Being a much older adult with undiagnosed adhd I’m going through a high disassociation stage I rarely leave the house because I’ve over internalised over the years I’ve now seen the physical health rapidly decline. At 50 is it worth getting the diagnosis???
I’m 58 and realised I’m adhd around 10 months ago , I’m waiting on a psychiatrist assessment after being referred by my gp , he said he thinks after looking at my life in retrospect that I just need to hear it from a psychiatrist
Bless you…yes…absolutely get diagnosed. I’ve found that my physical health has begun to improve with as my self compassion has developed…the shame and frustration I felt towards myself hugely contributed to my physical deterioration.
Yes! 💯 I’m 45 and having my diagnosis has helped me so much. My mum is 70 and is on the waiting list now, she thought she was too old but after spending decades with inner turmoil and struggle why shouldn’t she? If it was any other physical or mental condition nobody would give a second thought about how old a person is, and I’d say this was equally important, if not more.
43:10 Oof, definitely fear of failure. The worst kind of fear. It stops me from doing literally anything. Maybe that's why I make tasks as difficult as possible. Just to have a little excuse in case I fail
I think fear of rejection is underneath fear of failure. All the time I don’t take a chance and do something I have the potential to still accomplish it and accept myself for my achievement. Unconditional love and acceptance unlocks the padlock (I found this through my faith as my family have always been achievement focussed)
I’ve been diagnosed for over a year and have been in my own journey and finding Councilling is helping so much but this video I really connected with. A really good channel about ADHD and I often watch the videos, so so informative to understand yourself more
The only way I've found to distract myself from my thoughts so I can fall asleep is to listen to an audiobook. I set the audiobook to stop after two hours, and if I'm still awake after that, I play it for another two hours. It has to be something that interests me enough to keep my mind from wandering, but it can't engage me so much that when I do become sleepy, I might try to keep myself awake because I'm so caught up in the story. It's a careful balance. Therefore, it's best if the book is informative, as opposed to a novel. Sometimes I listen to "adult bedtime stories" (not that kind of "adult" 😄) on a podcast or a youtube channel. I hope someone finds this idea useful.
In my 30’s I was able to go for free learning maths and English at a “learn direct Centre ” (I was on unemployment benefit.) I left school with no qualifications In my 30s I got above-average GCSE English and maths. Then went on training at college for Customer Service. Then went to work at a supermarket. The Maths+English was multiple choice answers for both and weeks of study by going to the computer room at learn direct. Familiarising myself and re-establishing my knowledge of English and maths. Took the tests at the end gaining G.C.S.E in those two subjects. I am Recently diagnosed female with ADHD in my 50s (1970s schooling was fear and punishment) I can look back now and think I recognise a lot of people in the same boat as me who were probably ADHD at school when i was.
I have just scrolled through the video looking for the 2 proven ways to stop overthinking, but I can find where they talk about that, except for when falling a sleep
"being too much" can just mean you're not invited to the next gathering... people rarely confront you on it. But I have been told to my face occasionally.
Thank you, Mark. I really enjoyed this interview. I am still in the process of receiving a diagnosis, which is taking forever despite my current struggles. My jitteriness is particularly bad at the moment. I keep leaving things behind, making silly mistakes, and not managing my time well with appointments. Recently, I missed my return flight from Copenhagen, where I was running a 3 day Osteopathic seminar for doctors and physiotherapists, which cost me all the money I had just made over the weekend. It’s very frustrating, to say the least. I am an Osteopath, Lecturer, Clinical Educator, and Medical Assessor. You are right, Mark. When we talk about medicalising the diagnosis of any condition, we often miss the point. While it is vital to identify pathology in our clinical setting, we also need to recognise when the problem is functional rather than pathological. In this case, the term that comes to mind is NeuroPotential (a term I have coined myself just now) to discuss the full potential of people like me, who have parts of the brain that have developed at a different pace than others. We could talk about overdevelopment or underdevelopment. Much the same as muscles, when underdeveloped or overdeveloped, can cause problems. I use these analogies with my patients who struggle with persistent pain that can not be attributed to any pathological causes and have hypersensitised pain centres. I would love to share my understanding of health and how to find it from an Osteopathic philosophy point of view one day.
I have ADHD and also significant c-PTSD. What is the difference between an intrusive thought and rumination on something bad that has already happened?
Just a little bit of feedback about the Aesthetics of the staging, if you don't mind me offering my two penneth 😮 you have two vertical lines between the two chairs which makes me feel like you're both divided and not properly connected to each other.😢 don't know if that's something you want to consider looking at but Aesthetics are everything, to me, a visual person❤
I'm 67 yrs old, as a 5 and 6 year old was shut in a cupboard at school each time my difficulty arose. ADHD wasn't even a thing back then. Diagnosed in 1997.
Great question as far as how it presents differently with girls, he could have said the truth that they don’t really know because sadly it’s not as studied in girls or women
Read Daily Word every single morning of your life. You are the only person you need to love and accept! I am 71- beautiful, talented and totally ADHD.. diagnosed at 37. It’s work but soooo worth it.oh and do journal each morning or evening about your thoughts and heart felt Spirit.
I was diagnosed around age 10 in the early 90's. I suppose I was lucky for that but all I was told is that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain. At the time there were no strategies offered only medication. Medication that didn't seem to do much. TH-cam has done more for my mental well being than that early diagnosis did.
Check out Gabor Maté maybe. He explains a lot. And it helped me though I didn't think I was anywhere near "the spectrum". Which still means nothing to me as a label. I'm interested in content, not labels or identities. Just what's really nature and what are paths of thinking which I can discard - at least as integral part of me. Baggage we can carry around and drop. Whenever.
how do I find a good psychologist/psychiatrist. in San Antonio Texas. I knew I had it no one believed me, they miss diagnosed with depression. Recently widowed has created trauma and my ADHD has gotten worse. I am stuck and my children call me lazy and say i am mooching but I have appled and applied but no one calls for an interview, I used to be super woman Please Please help. I wish I had your guest for my doctor. Sandra Torres - stuck genius - who wants to be successful and rich so I can help others.
So was promising to never let this podcast to be sponsored by Huel a shot at Steven Bartlett. If so keep in mind I was keenly interested in this, until that line. I subscribe to many podcast that share self improvement information. What gets me other than quality content , confidence ethics and service. You’re missing the confidence and ethics. I love Lewis Howes and Mel Robbins too. They support each other. Now maybe I’m wrong, but here I though oh it’s Steven cause I wasn’t looking at the screen and this into was identical but it was you, man I’ve not considered the name of.
I'm 64 and I'm struggling with so upset that I've been misunderstood all my life.I have also felt I knew I couldn't help who and what I presented with. I've spent all of my life trying to work out how and why I tick and I'm exhahsted. Letting to of blame and shame and filling the mask off has flooded me
I was a daydreamer in school, shy and terribly bullied. I was sick a lot during my school years. A lot of it did relate to bullying. I'm in my 50's now and just amazed I've gone my whole life undiagnosed. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and cptsd, though. I've been learning so much on these podcasts. I feel so borderline... i have so many of these behaviors, some less , some more. My family has told me my entire life that I am over sensitive, so i have identified as HSP for 17 years after i read the book about it. I finally felt somewhat valuable for my sensitivity.
While this is really good information..a missing componet..There is a absolute genetic basis an ways to support your genes an your environment. I know personally I was full blown adhd into early adulthood. Took lots of courses an learned to manage my life well! THEN, life got a crazy stressed completely disrupted...Then the ADHD was dx an obvious! Still a struggle to remake.. but wish id known I was capable at much earlier age.
I see the title of this and I go oh.That sounds like it will be very helpful and interesting.And then I see that it's an hour-long and I'm like dude, I have AD HD.I can't concentrate that long! Excuse all the types and shit my things messed up
Watching this, I was like a nodding dog, sometimes even preempting what the doctor was going to say! Everything said relates too much. I am awaiting an ADHD assessment as per advice from an initial assessment from a psychologist and I am a 40yr old female! 😮
What I'm finding hard to understand is how fellow neurodivergent people especially with Adhd that I'm coming across, have still managed to get a life. What I mean by that is a career and a husband or wife, and children. I got diagnosed this year and yes I did the look back and anger at the life I felt robbed of. I did rubbish in education and struggle to focus, I have two children, 26 & 10, raised them on my own. I have never had a 'proper' relationship, probably due to insecurities and a feeling of inadequacy because of my Adhd. My career is none existent. I know part of the emotions and problems I have stem from my childhood, but had I been diagnosed, helped and medicated earlier on, I would probably be married with his children and have a career. That's why I'm finding it so hard when all these people come forward with their later in life diagnoses but have still managed to carve a life out for themselves. What am I missing? I need help understanding what even they are doing that I am not.
Being diagnosed and medicated often makes it worse for children. They get discriminated against and isolated using the legal paperwork set up to help them. They end up with no school, they get told they can’t have counselling because they are neurodivergent. I don’t believe knowing gives people the ability to finally succeed in life. I think they can use that information to help themselves sure, but ultimately it’s the individuals ability to crawl out of situations they recognise as being unhealthy for them mentally that makes them a success. Also leaning into what you know you are good at. Focusing less on what you can’t do and more on what you can.
@@Parrottingsounds like victim blaming or like “just make yourself feel better by doing the right thing.” So you don’t really believe in the diagnosis of ADHD then? lol
Sleep with cats! Following a good petting of each❤I rock adhd for great career success...and understanding my kids. Love this psychologist...hard to find good ones.
I am living all the things. So thankful for such a great informational resource. Throw ADHD depression rsd anxiety social anxiety and menopause together. some days I just want to quit trying.Ive masked and compensated or attempted to for so long I don't even know who I am anymore and I am very self-aware and been in therapy many times over the last 30 yrs with good results. my things were all manageable until menopause. now its a mess and I've been exhausting ,myself trying to put it all back in place. its daunting. I've been in a downturn for several weeks the fallout from that has been rough. so tired.
That would be true if people only feared things with big consequences like that. Not when they also do it for things that would have no real consequence. Or when they cause their own precarity and destitution because of ADHD related anxiety and behavior. It's the ADHD and related experiences that's the real cause, not the "very real risk of precarity and destitution" (else this tendency for anxiety and avoidance causing failure would apply equally strongly to people without ADHD, but it's much less pronounced for them).
Original feeling is relief. Aha! I have an answer/reason. But then there's a frustration from lack of understanding or direction I had. I genuinely appreciate the thorough time & info. I was late diagnosed and have two teenage daughters who were just diagnosed. (God bless my husband) but I am just trying to help them from having to go through life the way I did.
Thank you so much. It has made things clear to me. My daughter who is 57 yrs. Is definitely adhd all the symptoms you mention. I cried to realise how she hated on me thinking I did not show her love. Deep down she believe I am to blame. All I did was to love her. She was unable to feel that . Her belief is always sooooo negative. It is very very painful. Help how can I help her she gets on with no one. She feel hated. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Try to figure out when she was rejected the first time or could have interpreted it this way. Include: did I want her ? Did I want her at exactly that time ? How insecure did I feel when she was small ? How many other priorities were on my list when she grew up ? (Just go after any easter eggs in the maze of the past and don't judge their size, material nor colour) If you find anything that occupies your mind, go to her and say I found something and I don't know whether its of significance. Can we explore it together ?
It is the recognition of having a super sensitivity and ADD and tools to manage it are life altering. Internal boundaries to stop everything from entering and disregulating you is a super power. Jerry Wise on TH-cam has a " You called me a Coka Cola" with family systems theory. Great lecture. Thank you.
my grandson who has ADHD. was constantly bullied by more than one student. the teachers and some administration ignored what was going on and my grandson is no longer the happy sweet boy he was when he started school. Would i be able to sue the school or district for emotional trauma my grandson experienced?
From loads of videos I know this is my Mum. But my sisters believe she's a covert narcissist. Those videos apply to her too unfortunately. Is it possible she's both? How bad can ADHD become for someone that it looks like covert narcissist? We have so much mental health issues from grandparents to grandchildren. It effects so many people and quality of life is destroyed. It's this reason why any conditions should be taken seriously and there be treatment/support/advice given at the earliest age possible. However, we've got riot and hate promoting governments so individuals having their best life isn't going to happen anytime soon. UK
I can’t thank you enough for this! All of your guest’s are amazing but this Dr is absolutely outstanding! This has made me feel so positive about trying to manage my ADHD, I honestly have watched a thousand interviews and reels hoping that one would help me come to terms with my late diagnosis and show me some light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I cried! Thank you Alex for the wonderful people you are interviewing and of course the amazing questions you ask that we all desperately want answering! 🙏🏼❤
I really felt that I wasn't alone watching this video and reading the comments.I recently got diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 23 and life (past and present)all of a sudden makes sense❤
ADHDBPD depression anxiety 😬 I’ve struggled to be here. But it’ makes me stronger, feeling like I may need help from a psychologist or therapist. Thank you 🙏
Vvvvv well thought out answer This nice guy know his stuff Vvv user friendly I wander is it a irish thing But he's grounded and seems vvv loved within himself Send more of him o. Pod Well done both.ɓrdaodwyer Vvvv much cud repeat his chat I'm even sleeeeepy🎉
I was late diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago and with all the books I’ve read, podcasts listened to and videos watched about ADHD, I have never in my life felt as understood as I do right now listening to this psychologist. Thanks for another great video Alex
I only discovered that I am ADHD 18 months ago at the age of 63.. 😩
Suddenly I understood why navigating 'normality' has always felt so complicated.
I wish I had known 40 years earlier...
@@sohosteveuk 🫂
I agree. He is able to see and feel us struggling.
Exercise is the answer. Get out of your mind and into your body
To a point this helps, with emotional disregulation
This is so true…exercise is a life saver…I personally have struggled with this due to chronic illness (debilitating fibromyalgia pain)…it’s a vicious circle as when you can’t exercise the anger builds and there’s nowhere to defer the excess energy to and this causes further issues with my illness.
exercise is great. however, with ADHD it isn't necessarily the entire answer.
@@ferncurtis2437I can relate, I've got chronic pain in my foot that is a result of a bad treatment when I was a teenager. Re fibromylagia, have you ever investigated parasites? I know oersonally a case where it was mistaken for for years. Worth trying. I have seen so many cases in family and friends misdiagnosed that I always seek a second or third opinion. In any case I hope it can somehow get better. Havent lost hope for my foot, just trying to figure out what will help me :)
The people pleasing piece has been so detrimental to my life. I've suppressed my authenticity and needs for so many years. Working on setting those boundaries, saying no without guilt and shame. It's such hard work and the shame of feeling like an awful person is killing me.
But, I am working through it. Trying to do so in a healthy manner. Not lash out at people.
@@marissaproulx3516here with you. I recently set very good boundaries with my bery very narcissistic brother. His angry response that was meant to diminish me was. Uhhhh I believe you need therapy. Made me laugh so much as I've been in therapy for 2 y now to deal with my post partum depression and well I learned a lot more ;) and rhen I said. This upsetting no longer agreable behaviour is a result of therapy. Now your turn to deal with it. The shock he was in, priceless. Keep on the work, it will be rewarding.
Degeneration of human brain.
"When you talk to primary school teachers, they confirm that children are being stupid. Research shows that degeneration of brain ability is directly proportional to the number of hours spent in the digital world, ” says neurologist Martin Jan Stránský.
Absolutely oxytocin! There's a trick if you have to be alone that I use all the time lol. I learned it from a dr at children's hospital to help my preemie nephew calm down and/or sleep. Crossing your arms in front of your chest and resting your hands near each shoulder calms you/them down bc it releases oxytocin. I often don't cross my arms but just have them both up in front of my chest with my hands under my chin lying on my side and that works very well and is much more natural and comfortable.
If I'm having a really hard time I will cross them and do slow deep breathing at the same time and I can usually calm down enough to sleep. A gentle heating pad or anything warm on your chest will also do the trick, as long as you're not hot lol.
I only realised that I'm ADHD about 18 months ago, at the age of 63... 😩
At first it came as something of a relief and some kind of justification for my lifetime of random actions followed by regret.
And then the depression arrived at the realisation that navigating 'normal' life would have been so much less stressful and easier to traverse if I'd had a diagnosis decades earlier.
Just feels way too late now..,
I was DX at 58. I feel the same way, but it's never too late to lead an easier, better life. The what ifs are normal but will kill you if you stay in that head place.
I am also 63, I hear you. I feel that way a lot BUT I try and live in the moment and squeeze every last ounce of joy out of the experience now. Compounded by the fact that earlier this year I lost my best friend in the whole world and so I want to feel everything on her behalf and live with as much enthusiasm as I am able
50. No time to waste after wasting so much time. Now I know the problem I can solve it.
Hey, I'm similar - coming up 50 soon. You can turn it on its head and think that - if you'd been born 30 years earlier then you would have entirely missed out on being part of the emerging understanding right now. Not too late - the greatest day of your life could still be 2 decades away ❤
I have so much trouble with shame since my mother had NPD and my ADHD made her furious. Even though I wasn't DX until an adult. I wasn't the perfect child she demanded and she made sure I knew it. Every day.
Really interesting chat! I only ever feel potential understood as an ADHD woman when I hear things from others that really resonate with me. Im a 42 year old female, diagnosed last year. I’ve had a lucky existence living with this condition. I say luck my because I’ve had a lot of support and help, not the correct support and help but I managed. How the perimenopause hits and it’s a game changer, I’m practically disabled 80% of the week. I work quick and fast, then live in waiting mode at home with paralysis. Not a fun existence
Ironically it’s 1am watching this 🙈😂 I want this man for a doctor. Scotland’s psychiatry on understanding adhd is horrendous, which causes medical trauma.
Fantastic interview. Thank you. I feel normal ♥️🤜🏻🤛🏻
Get dr RusselBarkley books he’s extraordinary as well as his TH-cam channel he had a twin brother who died with ADHD so he experienced first hand 🤚 the issues we face! Good luck to you - it can get way better! Keep searching! ❤
Pretty sure he’s Irish
@@thinkmirror8507 That’s relatable & thanks 🙏🏻
@@dafflor Yes Irish accents are great 👍🏻
Not just scotland but the whole uk mental health services are terrible
How do ADHDers become fulfilled if don’t know what to do , like jumping from interest to interest. 😅
This is so kind. I've never been diagnosed, but my husband of 24 years says he's known I have this since we met. I'm in tears relating to this ❤
Lol I loved the Huel joke😂 I keep being like I swear to god if I hear about this dirty mud juice one more time!
I tend to interrupt a conversation, then if I start to talk I may start at the beginning then end, then the middle of my conversation I hadn't realised how bad it was until someone pointed it out; now I try not to talk to people and I try to stay away from people. I'm also very anxious and start to stutter.
I'm also suffering from trauma through narcissistic abuse. So I can't stop telling myself how pathetic I am, I don't remember very much about my childhood.
Positive self affirmations can help. And most important you deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel worthy, you deserve to live the live that you want just as much as everyone else does.
We are all born with the same birth right, of course in very different circumstances and for some life is more challenching than for others but aside from that you deserve to be just as happy.
Doing positive affirmations and therefore starting to believe in myself, my abilities and even start to like myself has helped me personally the most. I still have ADHD but can manage situations much more relaxed and with much more comprehension for myself.
I believe you, life and people weren't treating you always fair but as mentioned you deserve to be happy and truly feel that way.
You can do it, you kind of have to help yourself and start to believe in yourself. Let the self blame go and start living for yourself 😊 ✨️
I know exactly how you feel, sending ❤
sounds like you have unresolved childhood trauma. I would suggest doing some inner child work. btw, empathic, pleaser types are magnets for narcissists. It's not that you're pathetic, it's that you trusted a smooth operator. Like I did a couple of times.
I hear that ❤
OMG, I have the same thing going on in terms of butting into conversations, and then my sentences not making complete sense. I stay to myself an awful lot and am mindful of my contributions at work due to the non sensical sentence structure of mine. When I feel self conscious in a group setting I have a stammer, too or I worble my words.
Being a much older adult with undiagnosed adhd I’m going through a high disassociation stage I rarely leave the house because I’ve over internalised over the years I’ve now seen the physical health rapidly decline. At 50 is it worth getting the diagnosis???
I’m 58 and realised I’m adhd around 10 months ago , I’m waiting on a psychiatrist assessment after being referred by my gp , he said he thinks after looking at my life in retrospect that I just need to hear it from a psychiatrist
I got diagnosed at 51. It was a relief. Better than just carrying on thinking I was defective.
Bless you…yes…absolutely get diagnosed. I’ve found that my physical health has begun to improve with as my self compassion has developed…the shame and frustration I felt towards myself hugely contributed to my physical deterioration.
Yes! 💯 I’m 45 and having my diagnosis has helped me so much. My mum is 70 and is on the waiting list now, she thought she was too old but after spending decades with inner turmoil and struggle why shouldn’t she? If it was any other physical or mental condition nobody would give a second thought about how old a person is, and I’d say this was equally important, if not more.
Yes! Read my comment❤Go for it!!
43:10 Oof, definitely fear of failure. The worst kind of fear. It stops me from doing literally anything. Maybe that's why I make tasks as difficult as possible. Just to have a little excuse in case I fail
huh
I think fear of rejection is underneath fear of failure. All the time I don’t take a chance and do something I have the potential to still accomplish it and accept myself for my achievement. Unconditional love and acceptance unlocks the padlock (I found this through my faith as my family have always been achievement focussed)
Interesting interview. Hope the podcasts like this continue. Thank you and Dr Mark💖💖
I’ve been diagnosed for over a year and have been in my own journey and finding Councilling is helping so much but this video I really connected with. A really good channel about ADHD and I often watch the videos, so so informative to understand yourself more
He’s been my favourite guest everrrrr
The only way I've found to distract myself from my thoughts so I can fall asleep is to listen to an audiobook. I set the audiobook to stop after two hours, and if I'm still awake after that, I play it for another two hours. It has to be something that interests me enough to keep my mind from wandering, but it can't engage me so much that when I do become sleepy, I might try to keep myself awake because I'm so caught up in the story. It's a careful balance. Therefore, it's best if the book is informative, as opposed to a novel. Sometimes I listen to "adult bedtime stories" (not that kind of "adult" 😄) on a podcast or a youtube channel.
I hope someone finds this idea useful.
Yes, I listen to podcast all night long, it’s the only way I can sleep, otherwise my mind wonders and I can’t sleep
15:00 Yes! I yhinl this is very accurste! That feeling of injustice and invalidation flares the trigger very quickly! 27:24
In my 30’s
I was able to go for free learning maths and English at a “learn direct Centre ” (I was on unemployment benefit.)
I left school with no qualifications
In my 30s I got above-average GCSE English and maths.
Then went on training at college for Customer Service.
Then went to work at a supermarket.
The Maths+English was multiple choice answers for both
and weeks of study by going to the computer room at learn direct.
Familiarising myself and re-establishing my knowledge of English and maths.
Took the tests at the end gaining G.C.S.E in those two subjects.
I am Recently diagnosed female with ADHD in my 50s
(1970s schooling was fear and punishment)
I can look back now and think I recognise a lot of people in the same boat as me who were probably ADHD at school when i was.
This is the best channel for Adhd content... really insightful guests will real advice
I have just scrolled through the video looking for the 2 proven ways to stop overthinking, but I can find where they talk about that, except for when falling a sleep
30 mins in, distracting the brain
"being too much" can just mean you're not invited to the next gathering... people rarely confront you on it. But I have been told to my face occasionally.
I wish I understood earlier in life that I have adhd
Got my vote. Just falling down a rabbit hole with you 😮😅
Thank you, Mark. I really enjoyed this interview. I am still in the process of receiving a diagnosis, which is taking forever despite my current struggles. My jitteriness is particularly bad at the moment. I keep leaving things behind, making silly mistakes, and not managing my time well with appointments. Recently, I missed my return flight from Copenhagen, where I was running a 3 day Osteopathic seminar for doctors and physiotherapists, which cost me all the money I had just made over the weekend. It’s very frustrating, to say the least.
I am an Osteopath, Lecturer, Clinical Educator, and Medical Assessor. You are right, Mark. When we talk about medicalising the diagnosis of any condition, we often miss the point. While it is vital to identify pathology in our clinical setting, we also need to recognise when the problem is functional rather than pathological.
In this case, the term that comes to mind is NeuroPotential (a term I have coined myself just now) to discuss the full potential of people like me, who have parts of the brain that have developed at a different pace than others. We could talk about overdevelopment or underdevelopment. Much the same as muscles, when underdeveloped or overdeveloped, can cause problems. I use these analogies with my patients who struggle with persistent pain that can not be attributed to any pathological causes and have hypersensitised pain centres.
I would love to share my understanding of health and how to find it from an Osteopathic philosophy point of view one day.
I have ADHD and also significant c-PTSD. What is the difference between an intrusive thought and rumination on something bad that has already happened?
Just a little bit of feedback about the Aesthetics of the staging, if you don't mind me offering my two penneth 😮 you have two vertical lines between the two chairs which makes me feel like you're both divided and not properly connected to each other.😢 don't know if that's something you want to consider looking at but Aesthetics are everything, to me, a visual person❤
its like he knows me better than I know myself
Hooray hooray 🎉it’s adhd chatter day !
Woop woop!
I'm 67 yrs old, as a 5 and 6 year old was shut in a cupboard at school each time my difficulty arose. ADHD wasn't even a thing back then. Diagnosed in 1997.
Sorry that happened to you, that’s an awful thing to have happened.
So sad
This man knows what he is talking about. Amazing guest!
Great question as far as how it presents differently with girls, he could have said the truth that they don’t really know because sadly it’s not as studied in girls or women
Read Daily Word every single morning of your life. You are the only person you need to love and accept! I am 71- beautiful, talented and totally ADHD.. diagnosed at 37. It’s work but soooo worth it.oh and do journal each morning or evening about your thoughts and heart felt Spirit.
Thank you
THIS IS epic !! Information ! 😮😮🎉🎉 i love the mentioning of the symptoms & the validation for teenagers they go through as well as adults !
I was diagnosed around age 10 in the early 90's. I suppose I was lucky for that but all I was told is that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain. At the time there were no strategies offered only medication. Medication that didn't seem to do much.
TH-cam has done more for my mental well being than that early diagnosis did.
Check out Gabor Maté maybe. He explains a lot. And it helped me though I didn't think I was anywhere near "the spectrum". Which still means nothing to me as a label. I'm interested in content, not labels or identities. Just what's really nature and what are paths of thinking which I can discard - at least as integral part of me. Baggage we can carry around and drop. Whenever.
Excellent. Thank you. Your description of rejection sensitivity is one of the simplest and spot on description I have heard= and I've heard a lot!
how do I find a good psychologist/psychiatrist. in San Antonio Texas. I knew I had it no one believed me, they miss diagnosed with depression. Recently widowed has created trauma and my ADHD has gotten worse. I am stuck and my children call me lazy and say i am mooching but I have appled and applied but no one calls for an interview, I used to be super woman Please Please help. I wish I had your guest for my doctor. Sandra Torres - stuck genius - who wants to be successful and rich so I can help others.
1:00:25 be angry but sin not. Means dont worry about the anger. Pay attention to what you know not to be 🙏
So was promising to never let this podcast to be sponsored by Huel a shot at Steven Bartlett. If so keep in mind I was keenly interested in this, until that line. I subscribe to many podcast that share self improvement information. What gets me other than quality content , confidence ethics and service. You’re missing the confidence and ethics. I love Lewis Howes and Mel Robbins too. They support each other.
Now maybe I’m wrong, but here I though oh it’s Steven cause I wasn’t looking at the screen and this into was identical but it was you, man I’ve not considered the name of.
Maybe it was a shot at shitty sponsorship products. Seems like a serious set of assumptions you are making over a pretty meek comment
I'm 64 and I'm struggling with so upset that I've been misunderstood all my life.I have also felt I knew I couldn't help who and what I presented with. I've spent all of my life trying to work out how and why I tick and I'm exhahsted. Letting to of blame and shame and filling the mask off has flooded me
I was a daydreamer in school, shy and terribly bullied. I was sick a lot during my school years. A lot of it did relate to bullying. I'm in my 50's now and just amazed I've gone my whole life undiagnosed. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and cptsd, though. I've been learning so much on these podcasts. I feel so borderline... i have so many of these behaviors, some less , some more. My family has told me my entire life that I am over sensitive, so i have identified as HSP for 17 years after i read the book about it. I finally felt somewhat valuable for my sensitivity.
Loved that , so helpful. Thank you so much . He seems so understanding and empathic
Phenomenal interview, I took 8 pages of notes!!! So many times I almost got whiplash from nodding, going 'Yup, that's me, I do that!' Great job 😊
While this is really good information..a missing componet..There is a absolute genetic basis an ways to support your genes an your environment.
I know personally I was full blown adhd into early adulthood. Took lots of courses an learned to manage my life well! THEN, life got a crazy stressed completely disrupted...Then the ADHD was dx an obvious! Still a struggle to remake.. but wish id known I was capable at much earlier age.
I see the title of this and I go oh.That sounds like it will be very helpful and interesting.And then I see that it's an hour-long and I'm like dude, I have AD HD.I can't concentrate that long! Excuse all the types and shit my things messed up
Watching this, I was like a nodding dog, sometimes even preempting what the doctor was going to say! Everything said relates too much. I am awaiting an ADHD assessment as per advice from an initial assessment from a psychologist and I am a 40yr old female! 😮
Yep.. my kids were really damaged by the schooling process..really did a number on them
My favourite episode so far, I found him very relatable in what he said as well as the advice you gave! Thank you so much!! #HappyAuDHD 🤓💙💃🏻
Oh my career is strewn with evidence of my ADHD... both good and bad.
Its 4.30 am, what else would I be doing but watching an adhd interview !
What I'm finding hard to understand is how fellow neurodivergent people especially with Adhd that I'm coming across, have still managed to get a life. What I mean by that is a career and a husband or wife, and children. I got diagnosed this year and yes I did the look back and anger at the life I felt robbed of. I did rubbish in education and struggle to focus, I have two children, 26 & 10, raised them on my own. I have never had a 'proper' relationship, probably due to insecurities and a feeling of inadequacy because of my Adhd. My career is none existent. I know part of the emotions and problems I have stem from my childhood, but had I been diagnosed, helped and medicated earlier on, I would probably be married with his children and have a career. That's why I'm finding it so hard when all these people come forward with their later in life diagnoses but have still managed to carve a life out for themselves. What am I missing? I need help understanding what even they are doing that I am not.
Being diagnosed and medicated often makes it worse for children. They get discriminated against and isolated using the legal paperwork set up to help them.
They end up with no school, they get told they can’t have counselling because they are neurodivergent.
I don’t believe knowing gives people the ability to finally succeed in life.
I think they can use that information to help themselves sure, but ultimately it’s the individuals ability to crawl out of situations they recognise as being unhealthy for them mentally that makes them a success. Also leaning into what you know you are good at.
Focusing less on what you can’t do and more on what you can.
@@Parrottingsounds like victim blaming or like “just make yourself feel better by doing the right thing.” So you don’t really believe in the diagnosis of ADHD then? lol
I am this exactly! I hate myself most of the time.
Sleep with cats! Following a good petting of each❤I rock adhd for great career success...and understanding my kids. Love this psychologist...hard to find good ones.
Or dogs!
59:56 do they care? Because there is a way to go back and to fix this. If you cared.
The Huel comment is brilliant, fking tired of hearing about Huel.
Glad you like it! :)
BetterHelp or AG1 might be even worse 😅
This is such a good channel. Thanks
I am living all the things. So thankful for such a great informational resource. Throw ADHD depression rsd anxiety social anxiety and menopause together. some days I just want to quit trying.Ive masked and compensated or attempted to for so long I don't even know who I am anymore and I am very self-aware and been in therapy many times over the last 30 yrs with good results. my things were all manageable until menopause. now its a mess and I've been exhausting ,myself trying to put it all back in place. its daunting. I've been in a downturn for several weeks the fallout from that has been rough. so tired.
Past menopause here. Have you considered to adapt nutrition and 'moving' (don't want to call it exercise) ?
Can we please acknowledge what underpins failure which is the very real risk of precarity and destitution for many people.
That would be true if people only feared things with big consequences like that. Not when they also do it for things that would have no real consequence. Or when they cause their own precarity and destitution because of ADHD related anxiety and behavior. It's the ADHD and related experiences that's the real cause, not the "very real risk of precarity and destitution" (else this tendency for anxiety and avoidance causing failure would apply equally strongly to people without ADHD, but it's much less pronounced for them).
Thank you
Original feeling is relief. Aha! I have an answer/reason. But then there's a frustration from lack of understanding or direction I had. I genuinely appreciate the thorough time & info. I was late diagnosed and have two teenage daughters who were just diagnosed. (God bless my husband) but I am just trying to help them from having to go through life the way I did.
Thank you so much. It has made things clear to me.
My daughter who is 57 yrs. Is definitely adhd all the symptoms you mention. I cried to realise how she hated on me thinking I did not show her love. Deep down she believe I am to blame.
All I did was to love her. She was unable to feel that . Her belief is always sooooo negative. It is very very painful.
Help how can I help her she gets on with no one. She feel hated. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Try to figure out when she was rejected the first time or could have interpreted it this way. Include: did I want her ? Did I want her at exactly that time ? How insecure did I feel when she was small ? How many other priorities were on my list when she grew up ?
(Just go after any easter eggs in the maze of the past and don't judge their size, material nor colour)
If you find anything that occupies your mind, go to her and say I found something and I don't know whether its of significance.
Can we explore it together ?
It is the recognition of having a super sensitivity and ADD and tools to manage it are life altering. Internal boundaries to stop everything from entering and disregulating you is a super power. Jerry Wise on TH-cam has a " You called me a Coka Cola" with family systems theory. Great lecture. Thank you.
Can someone just give me the answer please, i dont want to warch the full vid
my grandson who has ADHD. was constantly bullied by more than one student. the teachers and some administration ignored what was going on and my grandson is no longer the happy sweet boy he was when he started school. Would i be able to sue the school or district for emotional trauma my grandson experienced?
Amazing thank you
I really gained a lot from listening to Dr Rackley, what an amazing guest, thank you!
From loads of videos I know this is my Mum. But my sisters believe she's a covert narcissist. Those videos apply to her too unfortunately. Is it possible she's both? How bad can ADHD become for someone that it looks like covert narcissist? We have so much mental health issues from grandparents to grandchildren. It effects so many people and quality of life is destroyed. It's this reason why any conditions should be taken seriously and there be treatment/support/advice given at the earliest age possible. However, we've got riot and hate promoting governments so individuals having their best life isn't going to happen anytime soon. UK
I **want** my engineers to over-think... or my doctors... or... you know, folks who manage things where lives routinely hang in the balance...
16:26 wokies.
I've had adhd for a long time. There is no cure.
Sadness was huge. DX at 58
You had me pegged immediately.
Super content🎉 thanks to you both🎉
New subscriber!! Love this!!
Great guest. Thank you
I can’t thank you enough for this! All of your guest’s are amazing but this Dr is absolutely outstanding! This has made me feel so positive about trying to manage my ADHD, I honestly have watched a thousand interviews and reels hoping that one would help me come to terms with my late diagnosis and show me some light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I cried!
Thank you Alex for the wonderful people you are interviewing and of course the amazing questions you ask that we all desperately want answering! 🙏🏼❤
Why is he No.1 ? Did they have a race of ADHD Psychologists?
Great stuff 😊
I really felt that I wasn't alone watching this video and reading the comments.I recently got diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 23 and life (past and present)all of a sudden makes sense❤
ADHDBPD depression anxiety 😬 I’ve struggled to be here. But it’ makes me stronger, feeling like I may need help from a psychologist or therapist.
Thank you 🙏
This is the best guest so far. So much great information
Vvvvv well thought out answer
This nice guy know his stuff
Vvv user friendly
I wander is it a irish thing
But he's grounded and seems vvv loved within himself
Send more of him o. Pod
Well done both.ɓrdaodwyer
Vvvv much cud repeat his chat I'm even sleeeeepy🎉
I CONTROL MY OVERTHINKIN BY PLAYING GAMES
Thank you ❤🩹