How to Declutter for Someone Who Has ADHD
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 เม.ย. 2024
- #autistic
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Dude's a better psychologist than most psychologists.
If only he'd come to my ADHD clusterfuk and consolidate things into clear bins. I start to panic when MMC starts putting stuff in non-see-through bins. I definitely have ADHD and need to be able to see everything
He is SO GOOD on ADHD! Way better than most psychologists. And not putting up with mooses.
Yesss!! He’s so on point!!
He’s so intelligent, intuitive and compassionate. 💯🎯
Just shew that Moose off the counter top 😂
God, seeing "rage" acknowledged as a common symptom of ADHD is so validating, thank you. People talk about ADHD like it's just "easily distracted and hyper" when it so often looks like "emotional rollercoaster with your seatbelt stuck on."
EDIT: Thank you to all the replies attempting to educate, even though some people online are always gonna think they know better than the OP's (in this case me) knowledge of their own medical history, therapy history, psychiatric assessments, and the wealth of literature on ADHD as a spectrum disorder that manifests differently for different people.
That is a perfect way to describe it.
"emotional rollercoaster with your seatbelt stuck on" is such a good way to describe it thank you!!
@@amandaraycroft5740 Are you sure you don’t mean PTSD? And no offense, but if we could heal ourselves with self-care alone, none of us would have these conditions. Sure, we have to put in the effort to make progress, but everyone’s situation is different, and we need support from others as well. I think I get what you’re trying to say, and I feel like you mean well. It’s just not as simple as that, that’s all.
@@mrandisg It is actually that simple, no one is going to heal you, so you have to do it yourself, sure some things are going to be harder but some things for some people are going to be harder to heal. If you don't try, it's not going to happen.
God seeing rage is not common of adhd itself but maybe a biproduct or from trauma or your own temperament from the environment you were raised in.
“Candy wrapper, broken box, your mom…”
I almost spit my coffee out
Also, the cabinet with wolves snapping, ready for home defense. Lol
The moose is the one that got me, lol
GenX in the house
This should be required viewing by all psychiatrists, psychologists, teachers, and parents, oh, and other cleaners of course!
and social workers
100% AGREE!
And people who live with you who want and do take over and move your stuff and throw things out, etc. Who put you in a place you can't do anything except pile it up more in a shed or where you can't get to it and you can't find anything. So frustrating.
...and send it to family members.. if you DON'T 'get it', stay away because bullying only gets our claws out.
@@gingercameronfordcrouch7057 my exhusband was/is a narcissist and he would take over a whole space and throw anything away he didn’t think needed to be there. And I’m not talking about his own things.
He’d do it when you were not there so you’d come back, things are all moved and different, your personal things gone through, and your stuff in the trash, some things never seen again.
Sometimes he’d not do a whole room he’d just secretly throw away one or two things so you’d not notice until much later and the trash was already taken to the dump along with your childhood sentimental thingamajig that can never be replaced.
He thinks he’s a great guy! 🤪 the best. A total winner and everyone should be like him and you’re a crazy mental invalid and need punishment if you are not. Of course, there’s a political group he’s a life long member of…
I feel so sad for our children he’s in possession of. He put the 10 year old in what she called a “mental institution” for a week because she believed psalm 91.
Cruelty is one of his defining features. 💯
I'm 44, a mental health therapist, AND I have both ADHD and bipolar disorder. I have been shamed my whole life for the semi-organized chaos that I live in. The way that you approached this with such wonderful empathy and humor was, no lie, healing for me. I regret that I have only one account to subscribe with. You are truly a special person. Thank you!
Same with me, except I'm not a therapist. This video brought me to tears.
A bipolar mental health therapist. Does your Patients even know?
ADd, bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD. Now I'm getting Alzheimer's. I'll be praying for you all.
"a mental health therapist, AND I have both ADHD and bipolar disorder."
I wonder if there's such a thing as a therapist without dysfunctions. My mother was a therapist but also needed, or could have used, a DSM version of her very own.
🫶
Coming from a kid who didn't know she had ADHD and had to grow up through the names of being "lazy," "messy,” a "hoarder," thank you for doing this. It's very justifying and makes me feel like a human, and seen!! Thank you thank you thank you
This. I just had a cleaning company refer to me as hoardery with mental health issues. Which I do have mental health issues but it's the ADHD that's causing me the biggest issues and my limited mobility. Got a new cleaner starting on the weekend.
@@witchysam4273 Good luck with the new ones.
I'm 63, and feel the same way. My house and car are always cluttered. I don't see the clutter. It doesn't bother me - until I have to give someone a ride, or have someone over to my house. Shame is the only motivator for me.
I do think it is fair to say that a lot of people with ADHD also struggle with hoarding. I finally admitted to myself that I struggle with hoarding a few years ago and admitting it can help a lot with noticing (and stopping) the thoughts that lead to over accumulating and the struggle to let yourself part with items.
I relate completely to what you just said
As a person who has ADHD the "items become decorations" is huge for me! I've actually gotten into the habit of finding decorative bottles and trays to put my day to day things in so that it's still visually attractive (for example my spices and teas all have to be out but I'm working on making them look like apothecary bottles)
I have started this too. I had a lot of stuff in cardboard boxes, laundry baskets etc. And told myself if I have more decorative boxes to put stuff in it wouldnt' look so bad.
I have ADHD, and my dad used to get the cleaner to clean my room if I didn't clean it fast enough. I would beg them to stop but he'd say that she's doing it against his will, and she'd say that he told her to. My mom tried to help me in her house, but it was hard because of my ADHD and my dad's terrible parenting. In the end, I only managed to start improving when I left. I started learning to tidy in my own time and way, and I would ask friends to help me if it got too out of hand. All my college friends were very supportive, thankfully, and one of them had OCPD tendencies.
Thank you for being so caring towards those of us with ADHD. It means a lot, as so most people tend to just bulldoze over any actual attempt at making progress.
Yor dad was probably the one that had adhd as a kid as well. Adhd is not something that just pops up in a family from nowhere. He probably just got overstimulated by the mess and couldn’t handle it. My home isn’t like this in the video. I have adhd. My mom at one point in my childhood took everything out of my room but my bed and the bedding. She had adhd as a child as well.
@@christinaedwards7159 he likely does, but his need for my room to be tidy didn't stem from that. He has an obsession with his image. He wanted my room to be tidy so that any visitors who might stumble upon it while visiting won't think lesser of him.
He had no boundaries, either. He let a stranger he was fucking walk through my room to use my toilet while I wasn't in the house despite being alone in a home with 3 other toilets. Never told me. I had to find out by finding a stranger's phone in my room.
He has a shattered sense of security and identity that comes from a multitude of problems in his upbringing, including having been VERY poor but also very spoiled (along with some trauma he suppresses) and it has led to an addiction in relation to image maintainance.
That's why my room had to be perfect even if that meant chucking all my stuff into a container and shoving it in a hidden corner, and why he tried every punishment he could think of to try and get me to behave the way he wanted me to when I failed to meet his academic standards. It's also why he shuts down when you disagree with him on anything and then tries to change the topic.
In fact, he has built such a perfect image of himself to anybody not too close to him that I once heard a student of his compare him to a god. The student even looked genuinely shocked when I laughed at his statement. He couldn't believe that I wouldn't see my dad in that way. But of course I don't... all I see is a broken man trying to do everything he can to hold together his fragile ego in an attempt to avoid facing any real development, only to traumatise me, his only child, in the process.
So yea, he may have ADHD, but that's no excuse, and it's not the full picture either
@christinaedwards7159 Definitely a victim of the "only the bed and dresser" punishment. Oddly enough i had the cleanest room of all the kids growing up and they acknowledged that often, but I was easily distracted in school. I still had fantastic grades 😂 who knows what i got beat daily for. "Not listening" I guess, whatever that means. I had my ears violently cleaned as a punishment once it was awful. Sucks to be a neuro kid lol
@@rachellestringer my grandmother told my mom that the effort she put into getting me to do my homework was more than she put into all four of her children to do their homework 😆. I was the dreamer, space out, hyper wild child that would do anything no matter what. Had two black eyes at four. Totally my fault… no one else’s. Clutz, and stubborn, ran into bat being swung, and ran into doorway.😱🤷♀️. My mom said I had to wait to go to store. Knocked out and seizure @15.. bike accident going to school. Knocked out by car hitting me going home from school @15. 1st one hospitalized, 2nd got up and left.
God bless you for your heart and insight! It was healing and therapeutic for me!
For the first time in my life I feel like someone understands me.
Thank you for respect and understanding, for seeing us as human and validating our feelings
Few days ago my friend tried to help me with decluttering before moving to the smaller place. We supported each other through really hard times and I know she had good intentions and loves me dearly. That day her anancastic personality met my autism + ADHD + depression combo. I locked myself in the bedroom to avoid saying things, she left my home in tears. We talked but she is still hurt while I spend time in bed and getting up only to care for cats and go to bathroom
OMG! ADHD moment. When my son was in highschool, his room was a disaster area. I challenged him and said to him that I bet he didn't even know where {a thing, I think it was a moose} was. He was lying on his bed, and without even breaking eye contact with me calmly reached under his bed, grabbed the thing and handed it to me. I never complained about his room again 😅😂🤣. He's awesome by the way. ❤
I did that to my mom when I was a kid. Organized chaos is the name of the game. Good on you for not reacting badly to the kiddo proving you wrong. Lots of people would take that poorly
Yep they end up as the absent minded professor who has piles of papers stacked on every flat surface in their living quarters but they know what pile some paper from 20 years ago is in.
This means he had order in his chaos.
My daughter asked me to help find her brush. The first place I told her to look, she found it... and I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE!! She did.
❤😊
My ADHD mind was calmed by your compassionate comments.
I really appreciate how that moose kept coming around. I hope it finds happiness in the sunset in a place it belongs.
I really appreciate that you don't just see the clutter, but the humans behind it. Respecting people the way they are is something we need a lot more of in this world. Thanks for spreading the word, man!
My desk at work... same thing 😂
that is my absolute favorite part when I am invited to help other people with their clutter. To figure out the person and what they really want, and sometimes helping them through the part where they want stuff that they don't need, and if they don't get rid of it they might be evicted. To really help them drill down and figure out their highest values and try to help them get there. And that's how I walk myself through the process when I'm decluttering at home.
it doesn't necessarily happen all at once, this epiphany of self understanding. And it doesn't necessarily all happen in one event of understanding. It's just good to do what you CAN do in the moment to understand how to help yourself better.
Thanks for the explanation to help us. Adhders. I was diagnosed 2 years ago. I must have oicked up lots on my own. I always organized. Haha well i a learning!!! Thanks for you guys explaining!!
@@patriciashears25 I've become so much better... I had no idea why I was the way I was and didn't find out until I was 73 🥰😘👍
Did you just say throw away your mom?
"If your friend comes over with depression, you wouldnt yell at them for being depressed. And, if you do, they're the one that needs to find a new friend, not you."
Beautiful!! Love how stern that line was delivered.
When did you meet my boss?
Literally had me tearing up
I like to call it 'organised chaos'. :) (oops, I put this in the wrong spot)
So strange; I read this comment at the precise moment he said it. It felt like he was narrating your comment 😮
I've never seen anybody understand ADHD so well when it comes to cleaning and decluttering. You are amazing! Thank you!
I had a nervous breakdown a couple years ago. The person who helped me the most was a kind and neurodivergent-aware declutterer like you. I needed a neurodivergent self education, a trauma therapist, a psychiatrist, substance use counseling, and peer support, and all of those have ultimately helped me rebuild my life. But I couldn't even have gotten started on that journey without that declutterer, who understood my day to day ADHD challenges, met me where I was, helped me accept how I am, and helped me function enough at home to get to and survive between all those other services. Thank you so much for educating others about this. We need SO MANY MORE OF YOU.
The out of sight out of mind thing is absolutely spot on.
- Adult with ADHD
Here too!
Me too!!
For me, (63 year old woman with ADHD) what's visible to others, is still out of mind for me. I have a super-power of overlooking the clutter I'm surrounded by.
@@ShellBAtoms completely agree we have a super power. It’s almost bitter sweet.
I sometimes forget about my laundry room and sometimes even my basement. It's like discovering Narnia and then the voice in my head says, "it's just your laundry room stupid!"
I wasn't expecting quality dry humor in an accurate how-to video for ADHD-friendly organization, but it was a pleasant and welcome surprise
The moose! 😂😂😂
The wolves….lol
I know. I really loved the humor. I think I need more of that type of humor in my life 😊
Your comment about "others imposing a finish line on projects as seen as an insult" was spot on. One of my biggest pet peeves ever since i was a kid is when someone is trying to teach me something And then they just do it without giving me the time to try and finish it for myself Hands-On.
Cuz they weren't actually trying to teach you with your learning in mind, their mind was focussed on THEIR intentions & objectives without considering YOUR needs.
I have ADHD and I used to live in what I called “organized chaos”
Now that I’m medicated I’m much more sensitive to clutter and things being dirty (before I wouldn’t even notice) so I’m desperately trying to implement routines and organize my stuff in a way, where it works for me and is also easy to maintain. It’s proving to be very difficult! But I also know that when someone other than me tries to help by inventing new systems and putting my stuff in boxes, it actually feels violating! This video reminded me that my “organized” doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
Word
As someone with ADHD I had a strong visceral reaction when you said you couldn’t move plates from one cupboard to another. I yelled “oh hell no!!!” I would go ballistic if someone switched up my organization! Your level of understanding is appreciated and you’re not even cleaning my house 🤣🤣🤣
My MIL use to get into my drawers and cabinets and move my stuff around to where SHE thought it should be. It was SO INVASIVE. She would also cover everything up and put everything away constantly. And I do mean EVERYTHING. She wouldn't even let me leave the baby's high chair at the table, she would always put it in the closet. It was such an inconvenience to drag it out and set it up each time we ate. I could never find anything because of that woman. Everything took longer to do because of how she packed EVERYTHING up EACH TIME we used it.
Several times I asked her to please not re-organize for me. To please leave things out where I put them. I asked her son (my ex) to please talk to her and ask her to stop it, and he said he would, but but he never did. One day I got out of the shower and couldn't find a towel and I F***ing SNAPPED! I screamed and cursed "WHERE TF ARE THE F'ing TOWELS?! SOMEBODY BRING ME A GD TOWEL!!!" She was shocked. Everyone was shocked. Idk why they were shocked, since I had basically BEGGED them both so many times to please not re-arrange my things. And this was my own personal items in my own damn bathroom, ffs!
I told them either I had to move or she did, because I literally can NOT function with her constantly hiding my things from me in the name of "helping."
He didn't understand why I was making such a big fuss about it. He is now my ex. Good riddance.
@@themaggattack That’s awful!!! Some people have no concept of respecting other people’s boundaries. You don’t have to understand why it’s a big deal in order to respect it. I was at my sister’s house with my Mom a couple of months ago and had to act as referee between the two of them. My Mom thinks she has the best ideas about how something should be done or how it should be organized and my sister freaks out every time my Mom interferes. My Mom just can’t accept that she can make suggestions but can’t dictate how my sister does things.
@@melindahajdin 🤣🤣🤣
I thought about explaining all the nuances but then I realized that if you actually listened to what Mac said and read what I wrote and came up with “entitled” and “attack” then you’re not going to understand even if I explain it to you.
@@HealingWarrior-ic6os "You don't have to understand why it's a big deal in order to respect it." This hits the nail on the head! If only more people (ahem neurotypicals ahem) understood this concept...
@@mrandisg some people would prefer to be judgemental and feel superior instead of putting in the effort to try to understand
As an ADHD person. This isn't just how I keep my stuff; this is how I clean. I have my piles, I know where they are. I keep my important documents in a pile with unimportant stuff. But sometimes it get to be too much for me. I like having open spaces; I like having an uncluttered room. So it's great to see someone who validates me, my condition, my processes. Thank you.
Same! (:
Same, I just wish I could keep it that way.
I’m 61 and remember when I was maybe 12 my sister 13 put a line down the middle of our room and told me not to let one single thing of mine touch her side. It’s a shame ADHD, or mental health in general, was not openly discussed in the early 70’s because I’ve tried and failed ALL MY LIFE to maintain order around my house. My daughter is the first person to ever tell me I’m ADHD. Everything you said about us made me cry with your understanding and compassion. It was like you were talking about ME and I felt a little less ashamed. I’m glad your video hit my feed 💚
i was gonna say that you have no idea how much it means to see someone who *gets* why cleaning is such a struggle for neurodivergent people and has actual strategies and tips that aren’t just “make a list” or “force yourself to do it even though it’s overwhelming”… but then you said you’re autistic, so i’m sure that you do. i’m autistic and adhd and cleaning is basically a traumatic process for me because there is so much social baggage around doing it the “right” way. i really like the idea of reframing things in terms of making items easier to access even if it doesn’t look “organized” to neurotypicals - i never feel better after cleaning because i can’t find anything and i know it’s not gonna stay like that, but i would probably feel a lot better if things were organized simply based on being able to find and to get to.
I felt everything you said. The amount of advice I get “just do it”. They don’t get it 😂
This was my house four months ago. In November I was diagnosed with adhd at 37 years old. With medication and dedication every day I have finally sorted through a lifetime of my belongings. Decluttering, organizing, finally coming to terms with who I am and not who I thought I was. There is so much shame tied up in this type of mess, that's why adhd people get so defensive. "Why can't I just keep on top of things? Why is everything so hard to manage? Why am I so lazy?" It feels insurmountable.
Thank you for this. I hope someone watching sees themselves in this and starts the process to diagnosis. You're not lazy. There's a reason you're this way and you don't have to feel shame about it. And there are ways to learn how to deal with it.
google nest and alexas will help you big time. i only allow my 22 year old with adhd 2 comforters, 1 quilt, 1 heating blanket, 2 bed sheet sets. laundry is wonderful now.
How do you go about getting diagnosed? My daughter was diagnosed at age 5. But, I’m 50 & this video is exactly how my house looks, as well as he describes how I think perfectly. I just feel so overwhelmed.
Coming to terms with who I am and who I'm not. Wow! Thank you for the help. I think I need to realize that I am NOT a crafter. I've been holding onto supplies for years and I don't think I have ever once actually used any of it. Thank you!!
I am fascinated by how a deeply ketogenic diet, and for some people a complete carnivore diet, is repairing depression, anxiety, and now I'm hearing that it is helping with dementia, autism and ADHD.
I know that my brain works better if I stay far away from carbs, and my body doesn't hurt as much either. You might check out Dr. Anthony Chaffee MD, Dr. Ken Berry MD, Kelly Hogan, numeral five minute body, steak and butter gal, carnivore women and other TH-cam channels for inspiration and information. They're even treating cancer successfully with a combination of a deeply ketogenic diet, intermittent fasting and a low toxicity med (and over the counter options are available for that third item as well).
Our mental issues are not our destiny, necessarily. And changing your diet this way will not stop you from being someone who is probably full of great ideas! It just might give you a better chance of executing them.
@@AshleyEllwood- I love that! That was one of my first realizations, but I'm not a crafter (although by necessity I do sew). my other crafting supplies went out the door! It doesn't mean I never do things like that. When I had old candles I gave a lot of them away and then some of them were for a "Craft" I did with my daughter because she makes candles. She made some candles and I made some tea light candles because I have tea light holders. We had a fun day and we might do it again someday. But I'm not a crafter. i'm coming to the terms that I am more of an armchair gardener than a real one, especially as I age. So I will be purging some gardening things after I purge/organize our tech stuff, connectors, surge protectors, charging cords, etc.
I live in an ADHD household, and I also keep my ninja weapons on the counter, my brother tried to put the moose on the counter today and I had to explain to him that the moose will become too confident and attempt to overthrow the household. It’s just too risky
You have to watch out for the moose on the counter…..just saying😮
I'm so glad you explained that to him! You really prevented a very bad situation.
@@babydahl9424 😂😂
😂😂😂
I heard that loud and clear ☺
As someone who has AuDHD clean is... A massive struggle. I was basically living in a dump until I was remember able to get meds. I've spent my whole life living like this.. and it's not because of laziness like a lot of people think. We want to fix it. And we hate it. And we find it embarrassing
Thank you for helping this person
You absolutely get my subscription. (It all made sense when you said you're autistic too 😂. I appreciate this)
I wish my special interest could be cleaning and organizing
This has made me oddly emotional. Most people don't understand these struggles. And don't try to understand. So hearing validation like this is just.. thank you
This video should go viral - maybe that would be the first time social media actually contributed to mental health. What a wonderful voice for sanity and compassion and good-natured humor! (And the decluttering is really inspirational!)
"I spend up to $3k on these cleans, i don't care, i just want that gold plaque for 1M subscribers" - refreshing attitude and honesty!!
I need help! But don’t have adhd I have ptsd.
How can I get help with my house??
@@VerysouthernMe too!!
TBI & physical (musculoskeletal issues) from being hit by a car as a pedestrian ... C-PTSD & a brain that acts like ADHD following all that.
I was so excited when I found a book called "I'm Not Lazy, Crazy nor Stupid, I just have ADHD!!" & shared it with my brain injury consultant & she said "No. There's no way you could've achieved all you did before your brain injury if you had ADHD. So it's not "organic ADHD".
ME: Who cares if it's organic ADHD or TBI-induced ADHD?!
My brain acts like that now!!
@@Verysouthern maybe try contact the guy of this video, he says he linked all his accounts under the video, f.e. facebook
I just wanted to tell you that after only two minutes into the video, I was already getting emotional. I have the worst ADHD and I am also a type A personality. I'm a perfectionist but because it takes caffeine for me to be productive and I don't drink it often because it affects my heart, I live with a messy house. I hate it and avoid it and am ashamed of it. It's weird, because I'm actually amazing at organizing and love to do it for other people and on my jobs. I just get overwhelmed and distracted in my own house. You really would think that I'm a hoarder but I'm not. Your approach and sensitivity to this destructive and very disruptive disability is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this video so other people can understand! ❤ I actually clicked on your video because I'm getting ready to clean my house and was procrastinating as long as possible before having to do it. You've really touched my heart because I don't hate myself as much knowing that other people struggle with these same issues! God bless you and God bless your business!❤
I also like to organize but get overwhelmed when it's my house. If you haven't tried it already, the two best strategies I've found are to watch cleaning videos while I work and to do very small, focused tasks - things like find all the hairpins on my nightstand and put them in their box, then take a break. You're definitely not alone!
I also have helped friends and family sort and clean but struggled at my house. It’s taken me many years but I now just have what’s loved or used in my house. Everything has a place. I make sure I touch things once. I don’t move stuff and think I’ll sort it later anymore. When I had an abundance of stuff I could never do that as there was never a place. I’d have to shift things to put stuff away. It was a very difficult process for me and the anxiety was real. But the end result is worth it. Good luck on your journey.😊
You might want to check out the Clutterbug channel - Cas has theories about why people struggle with organizing based on their "clutterbug type." I'm a "Bee" which means I need to be able to see my stuff, but have it very orderly. If it's put away behind closed doors or in containers that aren't clear it freaks me out, so things ended up being left out and that drove me nuts too. Now I'm working on getting things organized in a visual way that's still tidy and works better for me. Her way of thinking is really validating and might be helpful to you, too.
My 76YO Mom suffers from clutter, probably undiagnosed AuDHD. I can see some things starting to happen in my house, I probably am AuDHD, as well. She landed in the hospital from a fall in her house three months ago, and has been in a specialized nursing wing for six weeks. During the last six weeks, I cleaned out 70% of her house with help from friends, with tips from MMC.
Her home is in disrepair from negligence to maintenance. The house is unsafe, and she can’t live alone quite yet, so she is coming to my house for Home Health. And we will decide in a month if she will go to an Assisted Living place or will spend her money to repair her home and live there. I scheduled a Junk company to help me with her Garage next week.
I am proud of you for doing the hard work yourself. I’m an only child, but I have neglected the time with my four children while cleaning out my moms house over the last six weeks. We filled an entire 20’ dumpster.
Mom hates that she got too old to do it herself, and hates that I had to neglect my own children to take care of her.
Small bites, and it will look terrible before the house looks better, but after three weeks, you should be able to breathe and see a finish line.
@@emilyr2836 Thanks for the tips! I’ve found that I have to listen to or watch something or I’ll get side-tracked. zit’s strange how opposite our brains are from others, isn’t it? I can do so many things at once, though and also notice things people never notice. I think God gives us the other abilities to make up for the deficits. I also have an eidetic memory (photographic), and that is a tremendous help because I have dyslexia, dyscalculia and an auditory processing disorder. It’s difficult to start new tasks because of this if I don’t have caffeine. All tips and tricks are much appreciated! 🙏🥰
When you said that you would leave there's stuff in the same general area, where they could find it, instead of going on an Easter egg hunt, I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you for respecting them!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
I settled down with my coffee to enjoy this, but the minute Jason started washing sink stuff, I remembered I’d left a herd of moose soaking in the sink. No self respecting woman can leave soapy meese in the sink while someone else is scrubbing, so I had to pause the video long enough to get the moose herd scrubbed & drying on the rack. 😂 Now I can enjoy my coffee & the rare sight of men cleaning a kitchen ❤
OMG THE LAST SENTENCE
@@juancena1259right?!? 😂😂😂
Hope you have canned Moose face in the cupboard😂
State of equilibrium reached ❤
Too funny.
Your empathy for adhd struggles almost made me cry. Thank you ❤
It's really refreshing and comforting to see someone who truly understands and views it as it is without any judgment.
I agree. I'm not even a quarter of the way through the video and I'm welling up at the amount of understanding this guy has for not only the struggles of ADHD, but how we are different from neurotypicals. And how that's not a bad thing. It's just different.
I did cry... that was me until I found out I had ADHD at 73 and had grown up that way... my table where I keep my paperwork, like my desk at work years ago, could not be fathomed by anyone else but me... there's now way less clutter because you showed me how to tackle it... 😘👍
Legitimately did... twice so far
I cried as well knowning this is me and how I live. I hate it so much.
As someone with ADHD, you’re funny jokes like “your mom” actually helps to keep our attention. Good job!
Yep, dragged me out of the comments and back to the actual video a couple times!
Thank you for your service! I'm 64 yr old female, that was diagnosed with ADHD at 58!! Although so many behaviors made sense now, it's wreaking havoc on my life. I've been trying and trying to get my apartment in order, nothing works! Overwhelmed after starting the clean up, I run away and find any reason to not do it, at that particular time. After watching one of your videos, I finally have a better understanding of my problem. I'm willing to toss stuff out, I just get so "jammed up" in my head, I give up. I'm now subscribed and look forward to future videos!
I know, right? I began to notice that the only way I could get something accomplished is if I was really supposed to be doing something else! How’s that for jagged edges? 🙃🙂
56 year old here who was diagnosed with ADHD/ASD at 52. Although I’ve always been “clean” (clean bathroom toilets showers and sinks daily, no dirty dishes in sinks, 2 loads of laundry daily-but sitting in folded piles on the table, never put away, sweeping vacuuming dusting regularly) my living area was always disorganized, cluttered and looked “messy.”
I finally bought baskets and tubs for EVERYTHING, and stuck a label on it. Now not a single gadget or object gets set down anywhere UNLESS it’s in its proper basket
I hate folded clothes. I take them out of the dryer and hang up everything that I can except socks, underwear, and bras. My mom always dumped my dresser drawers, so now I don’t use a dresser. I hang our clothes on different color hangers and sometimes,(almost always), I have to warm up my clothes again to get the wrinkles out. 💙
YES!! OUT IN THE OPEN..I DO NOT HAVE 1 THING IN MY CLOSET OTHER THAN 2 BOXES.I use coat trees & 1 tote for socks and the like
@@blondek767We switched so that our clothes are in the same mono chromatic colors and everything can be washed together without sorting
@@blondek767 10 pieces of clothing counting all seasons of clothes
@@blondek767 I am working now on hanging out of season clothes on a rack in the basement and getting rid of storage tubs, takes up so much less space and makes it more organized for me even though I would label my storage tubs the labels would fall off, the tub would get turned around and I wouldn't find seasonal clothes till they were out of season. I still have a lot of work to do with this but just wish I'd thought of it sooner. Anna In Ohio
I love how your autism awareness within yourself helps other people and your just able to be cautious of others feelings. 🤗
I'll 2nd that..🥰
I too love how he gets us.
Absolutely. Cool beans
Agree 💯 👍 🤩
whoever started the idea that autistic people don't have a sense of humor clearly doesn't understand dry humor. this was by far one of the funniest videos i've watched in a while.
1:07 I respect you.
It is not laziness
It is not immaturity
We are only going throw away real garbage.
Thank you for respecting them.
I am going to help a friend declutter and organize and she shared that she has ADHD. This is exactly the video I needed this week! Thank you so much for giving the respect and space to people with ADHD.
What you're going to do is called body doubling for us...having someone here helps keep me motivated to do what I need to do, and it's sooooo helpful--thank you on behalf of your friend!! :)
Send her the link to this before you two get going - maybe she needs different or even no accommodations in one or more areas. As a fellow ADHD’er who needs professional help to keep on top of things: thank you for being a good friend!!!
You are a good friend!
I wish I had someone like you who would help, but not judge. Thank you for your kindness!
I have a friend who is doing this for me. My dad had severe ADHD. I’m living in his house, as someone with ADD, trying to go through his stuff. My friend acts as a second pair of hands, doing whatever I want/need. I become more focused when I need to direct someone, because I have to verbalize what I want and be thinking ahead of what we’re doing. We pause for me to think as needed. Patiently standing there does wonders. Making sure I stop to hydrate and pay attention to my body- are my muscles sore? Stretch. Don’t try to lift something beyond my weight limit (no injuries allowed!), sit and rest at times, etc. I try to make a goal list beforehand, which gets referenced as we go- sometimes general like “kitchen”, other times specific tasks or projects that I can’t finish on my own.
Honestly the more I watch this the more it feels like it would be so helpful. Half of the time my issue with cleaning up my ADHD house is that looking at the piles is overwhelming and my brain decides that it can't handle it. But having someone come in and just organize the piles so they are a bit more orderly and logical so I can see everything and then go in after to organize it fully would be super helpful.
Try to pick one thing and one thing only, and do it on a timer. Maybe it’s picking up all the loose trash in a room. Take a break when the timer goes off and then either go back to the chore or be done, either way you made progress. Look up the Pomodoro technique, it’s been really helpful for me.
i program my 22 year old google nest with all daily cleaning/washing for reminders
Best decluttering session I ever had was getting help to clean up for a party after I put my back out.. The person I hired brought bags/boxes to me and I sorted them out and got them to put them away with similar items .... ADHD me uses up my executive function just determining what pile/location the item is to go.... Getting up and putting away to return to the next item too much distractions ....
I have tried to explain this to people supporting me when I don't have backache and they just don't get it.
..
Exactly! And I know that once I start, someone will interrupt me before I can finish and I’ll have to stop and never get back to it. So I don’t start.
The trick with the laundry he did is how I can actually fold mine as it's coming out of the dryer. I do a rough sort into pants, shirts, socks, etc. Then I sub sort the shirts into t-shirts, long sleeved, and such. Once my brain sees "oh, there's only four t-shirts" then the previously overwhelming basket of laundry is suddenly a tiny task I can take care of in about five minutes.
as someone with adhd: thank you for this!! a lot of people don't realize adhd is a disability, and the 'well get over it' attitude can't fix adhd symptoms anymore than it would fix diabetes symptoms or allow someone in a wheelchair to magically walk. just because it would be easy for a neurotypical person to keep things tidy, doesn't mean it would be easy for an adhd person. the chemicals in our brains literally don't work the same! i sometimes explain it to people with gasoline: you might be a big diesel truck, and when you want to gear up and go somewhere you just put in your diesel and you're good to go! but if i don't have a diesel engine, no amount of the diesel that works for you is going to get me where i need to go. in fact putting diesel in my engine would clog it and make it impossible to run! thank you so much for understanding this and presenting it to your audience. i think it really helps to spread compassion thru understanding. also the organized chaos is true!!! we often have visual/muscle memory, so when we're trying to remember where we put something we're almost retracing our steps like CSI haha. as a kid i always lost stuff when my mother force-"organized" my backpack because she didn't like how it looked (it was functioning fine!!).
I am 46, diagnosed with ADD about a year ago. This issue has been a problem in my life and did not know why until then. You are a wonderful person for helping AND respecting people. It is not a choice for us. You are a blessing.
This was the first one of your videos that made me cry...I was diagnosed at 51, and just hearing someone "see" someone like me...just, thank you.
My goodness, bless you. I was diagnosed at 37 and it was like going through a mourning period of all my ‘failures’.
I swear there should be a support group for late diagnosed adults. Being diagnosed is so validating but the emotions are overwhelming.
It does get better.
Thank you for your respect for those of us with ADHD. For 70 years I have felt badly about myself because I can’t do what everyone else seems to know how to do so organically
*hugs*
I don't know how or why the algorithm brought this in front of me, but I nearly cried when I watched this. I have had such well intentioned close friends want to clean my space (part bedroom, part racing drone building shop, part sim racing rig, part movie theater) and have to wait till I left town so I wouldn't fight them every step of the way. I would always lose my shit when I came back to an otherwise immaculate space. I would go to a really dark place, go through all the negative emotions, end up feeling like my life wasn't worth anything. Much to the confusion and frustration by the person wonderful enough to spend so much time and energy to do take on something so impressive in scope. They are a also on the spectrum and have severe OCD, so they can't help themselves and have to organize and they watch my cat when I leave town for work. This has led to countless fights that I felt like a complete A**hole for initiating, even at the time, being aware of this gift they were trying to give.
You explained so much to me in the 1st minute of this video than any therapist or councilor has in decades. Thank you. Subbed and belled. Gonna go put your vids on an extra screen just to give them all the interaction. Might even watch, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Can no thank you enough!
I started crying after you acknowledged that for people with ADHD even receiving help with things like cleaning or organizing can feel like the people in your life belittling you or looking at you as bad because you can’t take care of it yourself. This is my daily reality, I wake up everyday wanting to clean my house and have everything organized, but feeling like it’s useless because it’s just going to become a mess again. Then the paralysis starts and it feels like you’re suffocating just looking at it all and it’s going to swallow you whole… it’s getting better, learning to take care of what’s right in front of me instead of everything that needs to be done, but sometimes that doesn’t make me feel like any less of a failure for not getting it all done.
Thanks for the video, it’s inspiring.
Well then. I’ve just been diagnosed.
same here
Me too
🫡
Hahaha 😂
Same here. And it does trigger me when someone even touches my stuff, throwing away ends with fury
This is such a great educational tool. So many people need to understand their relative is not a "pig" but has ADHD and could use the RIGHT type of help.
"All I want is that gold plaque". From one autistic to another, I appreciate the honesty. Instantly subscribed.
I can't go into any more detail because I don't want to start trauma dumping but I'd just like to say, as someone who also has ADHD, THANK YOU for the kind of public service you are doing.
Dawg, I almost teared up watching this. As a guy with ADHD/autism, who actually went through years of hoarding, the way you spoke about the whole subject was the most validating thing I've come across in so fuckin long. I have never seen such genuine understanding and compassion in a cleaning/decluttering video. More often than not, the people being helped are made to be seen as disgusting or lazy. Seeing some actually treat us as human beings and not just obstacles in completeing a job is immensely validating.
I have a grandson with ADHD that i nicknamed him INVENTORY CLERK. No joke he could always locate stuff at his house and my house. You are amazing.
As a sort of "Neatfreak", I appreciate all the info you gave in this video. I have loads of friends and family living with ADHD, and I realise now that some of the ways I was trying to "help" were not actually helpful. Mack out here savin' relationships and banishing Mooses!
Yes, leave their piles alone!!! Never file anything away. Just love them and let them be!!
Especially the wolf information! Very important!!
I’m going to show this video to my husband so he stops “cleaning” by shoving things into plastic totes. It’s so unhelpful,
I have ADHD 22-23 years now. And I was never messy, people get confused it’s the inside of the head that looks like this.
@@jadeperlman3182 I wish I had your version. Its messy in both places with me.
Thank you so much for understanding the “out of site, out of mind” and the panic and rage taking things out of our disorganized order can generate. And also for doubling down on the fact that the house doesn’t need a deep cleaning, because, yes, being messy and disorganized doesn’t mean unhygienic
I’m autistic and moving into an apt with two friends with ADHD, and have been trying to rack my brain on how to do this exact thing to get everything sorted, neat, and tidy. The cacophony of clutter makes it very difficult to upkeep the place. Thank you so much for showing your methods and your kindness for neurodivergent people! Your videos help so much
I have been decluttering & purging my house for 3 months now. I have empty spaces everywhere. Please send all your unwanted mooses (?) over and I will take care of them and give them love❣️❣️❣️
meese?
Meeses 😂
@marybartlett2375 Love those meeses to pieces! 😊
I love canned Moose face.😂
I have absolutely NO ROOM FOR A MOOSE. BUT SEND ME 2
Man, I never would’ve thought that rural Illinois would have such a big moose problem but you learn something new everyday.
Oh yeah, they are absolutely overrun with moose there. Mostly in the suburbs.
Not even 5 minutes in and i want to cry. This is so validating and kind. I could ramble for many paragraphs. Just thank you for seeing my struggle and being kind and showing this video. I think it will help me and help others understand me a little better. Clutter doesn't mean dirty, it's just organized chaos, or maybe chaotic organization.
I have Autism and ADHD and thought, “Wow this video is like both parts of my brain working together.” So you bet I squealed when you said you’re Autistic!
I so deeply appreciate your knowledge on ADHD, your tremendous empathy, and how you use your special interest for good. I wish all home cleaners/organizers were like you. This is the most helpful and satisfying cleaning video I’ve ever seen. Thank you so much! ❤
The banter and empathy combined makes this channel unbeatable for me.
The first 20 seconds healed me in a way because you just straight up told people no, it's not what my family has screamed at me my entire life. And now I feel a little better about my situation.
Just like so many in the comments, I share the same sentiments. Wow, I cried through the first five minutes. I beat myself up that I haven’t been able to declutter in the past five years. I’ve suffered from three concussions and now an ADHD diagnosis. It’s just so hard to “see straight” what’s in front of me and what to declutter and what to get rid of. I’ve been so freaking sick. And now things are happening so fast. Since 2022, I quit teaching. My boyfriend moved in. I went through 3 health insurance plans and 2 jobs in 2023. Got fired for the first time in my life when I was being bullied and discriminated against. Now I’m back in school for IT, maybe cybersecurity. And now it’s like wow, I really have to face this.
I’ll save this video. It had me looking around like “what can I fix? What can I get rid of?” It’s also helpful to have a “body double,” so to have someone cleaning while we’re cleaning. 😊
This video was incredible. You are good at what you do and so compassionate and up on the science. Thank you so much.
I did subscribe for sure!
Maybe I’ve watched a video before? Your channel name sounded familiar. I’m so glad this is your special interest and you’re sharing it with us.
Have a good day!
ETA: ah the algorithm gave me this video because I had started watching your “This Video Should Be Required Viewing…” it struck a chord with me. I’m not a youngster, but I saved it for later. I did miss out on a lot, I was not taught how to clean or do much. I don’t know why. So I spent my late teens and 20’s catching up. And I’m a lifelong learning so I like to learn about how to clean in simple ways. You don’t need a bunch of fancy stuff. A few minimal types of cleaning products and types cloths and such will generally do the job.
Anyone else with adhd put this on to help them clean their home? I had a mountain of dishes that this vid helped me get through 😁
I like to imagine that the “gerbil sounds” of your speeded up conversations are just non-stop sh*t talk back and forth and that Jason (Filth) surpasses his father in skill.
😂
Funny, I like to think that's just how Jason sounds. Never heard him speak differently ...
😅
I wondered if younger people would recognize this sound. The 'gerbil sound' is how all video tapes used to sound during fast forwarding :)
2006 baby here. Yes, we know that that's just what fast forwarding is@@lisa2000geese
Just subscribed. I have tried over and over to hire people to help me and I almost always end up in tears, shaking with rage and frustration. Full blown autistic and adhd meltdown. Missing car titles, important bills, etc. You absolutely hit the nail on the head and deserve every gold plaque you can get your hands on. Thank you for being a kind member of society and doings such a huge service for people who need it.
Last night I cleaned my closet...finally. It became the place where things went that didn't have a home. The problem was I then couldn't get to the spots to put the things away that did live there. So My husband was at work and even though I had to get up early for kids school and work, I stayed up till 3am and cleaned the whole thing. It feels so good to have everything in it's place and I can walk through it and find alllll my shoes. I do my best cleaning at night when my hubby isn't home, strangely not during the day when he isn't home.
This has definitely helped me understand my husband’s garage. I’ve stopped nagging him!
My husband’s and my realization that he has ADHD may have saved our marriage. I had been accommodating it for decades but with resentment. He is a wonderful person who has enriched my life, but wowzers it ain’t easy.
Girrrl… it’s just in the garage??? Count your blessings! 😉
@@lillianbarker4292Excellent!!
I think recognizing the "out of sight, out of mind" principle in myself is what has allowed me to reorder my home in a way that's friendly to my ADHD. But I also think watching your videos has made me *want* to clean and made it fun for me! Un-piling my piles has become my new hobby. After all I have to make sure I didn't leave any of my live snapping wolves lying around on the floor
Me too
As someone with Autism and ADHD seeing your process validates my cleaning process and is giving me so many tips - thank you!!
I’ve been on TV twice as an adult with ADD before it was cliche. My oldest son also struggled ADD. As a child, I realized the relief I experienced when my mother would do a clutter dump to my room. It usually included a “wow” touch like some cool holiday or seasonal flare. As a dad, I learned to do the same for my son. I made a lot of the hard decisions to purge his room of things that didn’t matter. I was mindful of things I knew he was dear to but I did get rid of a lot. It was a big help to him and the relief he experienced shadowed the losses he used to think were so dear. I’ve always claimed that ADD was just a lower level Autism. I only use the terms ADD/Autism for familiarity of the readers as I do not like the labels used as a diagnosis. I believe ADD/Autism are more of a scale that people struggle with their organized thoughts than a black and white diagnosis.
I started crying halfway through the video. The clutter in my very small house has become unbarable and I've spend the last few years blaming myself for being " a failure". Me and my partner being diagnosed with autism and ADHD helped me understand a lot of things but nobody offers help with that kind of issue. Profesional cleaners's judgmental "tips" cannot be applied realistically in our household.
Seeing you help this couple... relating to your sense of humour and analytical mind... it's like a window opened to let in fresh air. I feel the blame I put on myself lifting away. I feel like I can actually do something about this clutter instead of drowning in it. Thank you.
This is why I have so much trouble asking for help. I panic and feel so much shame when someone tries to help me organize. But I’m struggling to do it on my own. It’s a cycle but I’ve made a huge step forward by getting rid a lot of things. Minimalist mentality helps me tremendously.
Same. I am drawn to minimalism, efficient small-space living ideas, organization. My cubicle, desks, file drawers, computer files at work were always _the_ most organized. My home? Haven't let anyone in except landlords, maintenance guys, annual fire inspection guys, etc. in _years_ .
I learned early on that asking for help with things that I "should" have been able to do myself made me feel shame...and then I didn't get what I needed anyway and felt more hurt and depression than if I hadn't asked. I have nobody in my social circle or family who is more functional than me (I often help others) AND is compassionate, patient, respectful, thoughtful. I need to find those people...I know they exist somewhere.
I make progress on my own in fits and starts, then backslide. It's a lifelong struggle, although I still have hope that one day I will maintain a clean, organized, serene environment continually, rather than just for my usual period (six months maybe) after a fresh start/move.
I have a very similar situation going on in my home. He has given me a whole different take on what is truly happening. Not just with my own mental health but that of my husband and my children. Even behind closed doors there is so much judgement and finger pointing going on. Watching this has given me hope and taught me to be a lot more mindful especially with my children with ADHD. I 100 % felt my son was simply lazy. I am guilty of only understanding that the adults are overwhelmed from work and the house. I never associated emotions for contributing to why my home is in its state of disarray!!! He is good!!
My AuDHD ass here seeing half my adhd lived experience and the other half of organisation satisfaction. Thanks for showing such an empathetic approach to this stuff, really gratifying to have it shown
I think this guy is OUTSTANDING, how I wish he lived in Michigan, so I can hire him full-time! I love his jokes! 🤣
Too many moose in Michigan. The spin kicks would be exhausting.
@@DVD927😂😂😂
34:23 "if you're just looking to assign blame or find fault in a situation like this you're the problem" Best line that sums it all up in a nice neat package, for those that like that kind of thing. It always amazes me how people who are so impressed with my creativity, who I know would not like this side of it the process, nevertheless create NOTHING themselves (but consume much) and judge others' production "mess".
AuDHD therapist here. I LOVE this. I'll send it to my clients and other therapists.
It's funny because I have ADHD with really bad executive dysfunction, so my house is not too far from this (although my partner helps keep it to a certain standard) and if someone were to come in to clean I would probably lose my mind not knowing where everything is being put. But if I somehow get a blessed hyperfocus day for cleaning, I am likely to throw out 1/3 of the things in my house and not care at all about them. I just need the control over knowing what is where.
And I have an art room dedicated solely to my projects where I store every hobby I have started for the past 10 years. It's full.
I was told i was "ungrateful" when I had a meltdown over my family cleaning my room
😂😂 "It's full." 😂😂
i’m the exact same way with the art storage room and needing to wait for days where i actually have energy to go on cleaning sprees. thanks for sharing!
YES! If I want to throw it out, it's fine, but not when someone else does! More than once, I've gone digging through the trash because my husband threw a pile of papers in the trash without looking at them. He was cleaning the counter and assumed it was all junk. It made me feel panicked because there might have been something in that pile I needed.
@@mkymse7Yep.
I got so good at shoving important papers I couldn't deal with between book pages as bookmark- reminders that it became as tho I was hiding these important papers from myself.
Maybe it was my protective alter ego?
I'm AuDHD and clean my friends houses. This is exactly what most their houses look like, yet some of them swear they're not ADHD 🙄 I tend to clean just like you do. I often put big labels on boxes/bins of like items and make a "can it be thrown away?" pile of things that I would trash. I love cleaning and organizing. Makes my autism happy to organize everything and make it all nice 🥰
I’m also AuDHD and love cleaning my friends homes too. I get wildly uncomfortable in a mess. It becomes very hard to think.
I'm AuDHD and I wish I had the cleaning part of autism. 😂
Can I hire you to help me organize my house😂?
That's so cute! You guys have a symbiotic relationship! 🥰
Awww the 3 cats watching them play Stardew warmed my heart! What a happy ending 🥰
I salute you!!! Understanding us ADHD folks (and I'm a senior, the group who's had the least research done on us and ADHD - I found it gets worse). Before my recent retirement, I was a psychotherapist with kids and treated loads of the little ones with ADHD with the understanding of the condition that I knew personally. I assisted them in how to live in the world with others and saving their selfhood at the same time . I recently decluttered with the help of a service and my daughter and tried to stay in charge for the most part. I would not let them in my bedroom until I was ready (the second visit, pretty good). Thank you so much for thinking of us. I'm now a major fan!!!
My aunt has this to the point of hoarding, and while we do our best to keep things where they belong, we also have to bring our own recycling and trash bins when we do de-clutter, because if we throw things like expired food away in her own bins, she will literally dumpster dive to get it back. The state services are useless: after she had a stroke, the state services came to look over the house, saw how much of a mess it was, shrugged, and said it was "safe enough" for her to return to. Right after she got out of the physical therapy rehab, she was grateful we organized things for 12 hours, then started to panic and get angry because we threw out empty cat food cans she never threw away and expired food she never got around to eating. I'm glad to see you're able to help couples like this, that aren't quite as bad as it *could be*, because man, if I visited my aunt one day and it was as clean as this couple's house, I'd probably cry for joy.
It sounds like you're aunt is dealing with way more than just ADHD. she is a hoarder dealing and with mental illness. I'm glad she has you on her side. You sound very compassionate, but you need to get her professional help. If she can't afford it, read up on hoarding and dealing with hoarders online and watch and listen to hoarding videos on handling it to try to help her. It will make a difference. Good luck!
@@TDavis_333 I agree. I highly recommend the channel A Hoarder's Heart. She has ADHD and hoarding disorder. She's been documenting her journey of decluttering her home for many years. If you compare some of her older videos with her more recent ones, you will be amazed at the transformation. But the key to her success has always been taking baby steps and being gentle with yourself. She's living proof that lasting change doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't have to. Bottom line, she's a fantastic resource.
U sound like a considerate & compassionate person open to learning.
There's a book, "Buried in Treasures" with a workbook, that helps explain & understand hoarding.
Trauma is often involved. Unprocessed emotions. No safe witnesses & confidants.
@@birgip.m.1236 Thanks for the suggestions everybody! Like, a lot of it really boils down to that my aunt's parents came from the generation where mental health issues stayed "behind closed doors", and like, she's in her late 70's. I don't expect her to change, I've spent a lot of my life doing my own research on how these issues come about in people, and am always willing to learn more, even if it's past the point where I can help her specifically.
I broke down in the first minute… been desperately trying to *fix* and declutter and ask for help… but i would be so grateful to anyone who had this modicum of understanding. It seems so simple. But, yet a monumental task.. thank you
Wow! I'm the ADHD clutter person. My husband tries to intervene, but I can never find anything. He totally reorganized my kitchen and closet! It actually sent me into a deep depression. I can't function when he helps...but I need help. I'm making him watch this
I have never experienced it before in my life, but I now find myself unmotivated, overwhelmed, and unable to bother unpacking because there is no payoff! I moved in 2022 to another state = big, exhausting and expensive move in order to buy a home for the first time after being screwed by the LAST recession only to lose half my income the SECOND I signed the lease on a temporary rental that I had planned to stay in while I got acquainted with the new state and find my dream home just to have the market prices shoot up 3 x the actual value as soon as I made the commitment. If I cannot EVER control my life or get ahead, I can't muster the energy to give a damn if there is dog hair in the corners or dust on the Christmas decor that is still not packed away. Add to this that my adult child with ADD lives with me and is like this all the time and now we both live with depression. Your video helps me see how you help others cope with clutter and was very insightful as to the mental issues at play. Thank you!
I wish more people could be thoughtful, respectful, and kind towards those with ADHD, etc. Thank you for all you do ♡
I personally find that moving the random moose off the counter makes all of the difference!
Wanting the house where everything is neat and put away but needing everything in sight is something I struggle with so hard it is nice to see other people with ADHD who have houses that are like mine to some extent.
another thing to consider for people wanting to help someone with adhd tidy up: there's a really good chance we've been beating ourselves up about the mess from day 1. every time we see it we're taking psychic damage because it's a physical reminder of what we can't do that we feel like we should be able to do. telling an adhd person "just [thing someone without adhd would do]" or telling us we 'need to do better' etc. is really hurtful and damaging. not only will it not help us be tidier (if it did help, we would have done it already!), it will more often create such a negative experience that next time we *won't* ask for help and we'll just let things get unbearable. thank you so much for being understanding and educating your viewers!!
Floordrobe! That is a great word! I may or may not have a chairdrobe 😂
Hahaha! Mine was an ellipticaldrobe.
I have a chairdrobe too! :)
I can't bring myself to see clothes from the floor as "clean," so I have my pile laying over the wooden end rail of my bed. I guess that would be a "bed-robe"?
@@anneahlert2997 I like it! 😂👍🏻
I have a door-drobe til I can't shut the door & things start to fall off when I try to throw "just one more" piece of clothing that isn't dirty but since I wore it once, I don't wanna put it in the closet with clean unworn clothes... And if it's out & visible, it'll remind me to wear it again -maybe!? LoL
I’m going to be completely honest: the whole first five minutes of this video just made me gasp and cry, not in that sad way but in the “oh my god I have never felt so seen and understood before, thank you so much” way. I have ADHD and a wee bit of the tism, and I have struggled so much and worked SO so hard over the years to break some of my ADHD habits, but I’m 42 and I still rely on clear bins to store things so the object permanence (“out of sight, out of mind”) isn’t so hard to deal with; I still end up with the occasional Doom Pile, Doom Drawer, or Doom Bag; and it’s just SO HARD to organize things so that it stays in one place and doesn’t spread across the house like a hoard. Just…. I appreciate you so much, I know they appreciated your respect of them just as much… thank you. I feel understood.
Thank you! I've had ADHD and my whole family just thinks I'm messy and cluttered! It's organized chaos to me! I would love someone to help me like that without making me feel like a piece of crap. I also have three kids 17,6,8 and I'm going through treatment for stage four cancer and they still act like I'm just a lazy slob!!! Praying for a home of my own! Loving with family if awful! Keep up the good work!
If I could up vote this video a million times, I would! I cried watching this because I'm a woman with ADHD and wasn't diagnosed until my 30s. I tend to feel invaded when people "help" me clean because of course they want to do it in a way that would work for them and if they just organize enough, they think I'll just magically become less untidy and more motivated. Of course, this has the opposite effect. It's such a simple thing to acknowledge and respect people's needs and yet too many people just disregard that and call it laziness or worse. Thank you for doing what you do and helping people better understand what "helping" really means. 😊
Thank you! Someone who thoroughly cares and understands clutter, ADHD, neurodivergence, Mental Health with such respect and grace! ✨☮️💜🕉️✨
Your compassion when decluttering an ADHD-er's home brought me to tears. The way you described what you do and why it is important to do it in that way was so on point. I could not have identified more with a video if I tried. As an ADHD single mom living in my own personal hell, this was the best thing I've seen in a while. Wish I could get your compassionate, respectful, brilliantly shining, amazing self to help me, too. Please keep doing what you're doing. You are truly an angel and a gift to the world. ❤
My partner is adhd and im autistic and one of the reasons i love him so much is because hes messy and i LOVE to clean. The house is never super dirty, just once a week it gets incredibly cluttered because of how he functions. So once a week I can have a clean day, and he never had to freak out/stress over cleaning because I always know where everything is.
That is a match made in heaven 🥲
As someone that has had ADHD for pretty much all her life but was not diagnosed until I was 48, let's just say that being called lazy for almost my entire life did things to my self confidence and self image that I am working on repairing right now.
It is a disorder and trust me, if we had a choice, we would not have chosen to have ADHD.
I feel like I wrote this! I was about the same age. I bet you probably went through the same thing at school too. The psychologist said I was one of the worst cases he’d ever seen. My dad and youngest sister suffer from it too.
I got diagnosed last year at 34! I totally understand you!!!!
I’m 36 and think I have it, but sadly my husband thinks it’s a made up by the drug companies. I told him they have literally compared brains and studied this disorder, it’s very real. I don’t know how to convince him.
@@lilwarrioraleenayour husband sounds fun you should divorce him😂😂😂😂😂
I am 29 and am working on getting diagnosed but it's hard to get an appointment at the moment. Being called lazy has DESTROYED my self confidence. My husband has been working with me for years now to try and help me and has learned I'm not lazy, I'm unmotivated or overwhelmed. Praise is necessary for me so anytime I do a task that to someone else would be simple, I show him what I did and he always tells me he is proud of me. He comments when he notices how good the house looks or if I do a chore that I hate without making a big deal about it. He goes out of his way to thank me, praise me and remind me that I am doing good. If I start to slack off he tries to help boost my motivation rather than comment that I am getting unmotivated. One time I got a huge burst of motivation and cleaned the whole house unexpectedly. He came home and took me out to eat to reward me for my hard work which I will never forget.
I've never seen your content before and I cried through part of this video. I don't have a much clothing or shoes as them, but this is what my life is like. I'm in the middle of a divorce from someone with major personality disorders, but I am the one with ADHD and Bi Polar. I didn't know other people had the same struggles as I do. It was sort of a relief in a way, but also the way you spoke about your methods and the patience you exhibit with people is wonderful. I appreciate the fact that you said don't spend your money if you can't afford it. That blew my mind and I wanted to give you a hug. Thank you so much for this. I'm subscribed now.
As someone with ADHD I am so thankful for this video! This is very encouraging for me to feel motivated to organize my space.