Things Mothers Yell While Giving Birth (Doctor Stories r/AskReddit)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ส.ค. 2019
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When I was born my cord was wrapped around my neck, I came out purple. My dad yelled "It's an alien!" He almost immediately asked if I had a tail. He was 27.
Mary that same thing happened to me! Expect I came out red, and everyone was like “ITS A TOMATO.” Cause I looked like a bright red tomato. By the time they got it off, i was blue 😂
Same but it was worse for me because I was a micro premi
same but i was blue
Idk why everyone's just shrugging this off as "funny," you could've literally suffocated right then and there. Imagine how terrified baby you was, you've been born into a loud, bright, unfamiliar place and you're trying to gasp for air when there's none there.
PaleRose because she’s and you’re making a big deal out of something that’s not even that big of a deal
lady: *giving birth*
lady: *aight, imma head out.*
lady: i think the baby is coming
husband: *ah shit, here we go again.*
Baby in the womb: ight imma head out
sadlyflavored 😂😂😂💀
YASSS
Lady: takes test
Lady: tells husband
Husband: nooooo
The one where the daughter said “you wouldn’t understand mom” mightve been adopted so that one makes sense like i could say that to my mom since she never gave birth lol
Nop I think its force of habit *YOU DONT GET IT MOM! NO ONE UNDERRSTANDSS ME!!!*
I feel like if they were adopted they would've mentioned that in the post.
I guess we never know
I thought she has said that because she were a c section 🤔
This comment is the dumbest thing I've ever read
My dad recited poetry to me while my mom was giving birth, hoping that I would grow up to be a poetry lover like him. It did not work. I now have an irrational hatred of poetry.
all hatred of poetry is rational.
Keep strong. Dont forget that despite the evil in this world, God is full of justice, mercy and love.
Justice said we broke His perfect law - causing the world's previous perfection to be destroyed - and therefore we deserve Hell (like a punishment in any legal system but this is eternal as His perfect law is eternal too). Don't think you fit in that category? Ever done one of these?: lying, stealing - regardless of how small the object EVER, hating others - which is murder in God's perfect law, lusting (plus God sees our entire thought life). Justice says "the soul that sins shall die".
BUT, mercy said "I dont want to give them what they deserve. I don't want them to be cut off from Me. I love them despite all they have done/will do against Me. I want to give My children another chance. I want them to come home and live in My love again".
And love said "Jesus, God's Son, came down as a Man, our representative, suffering every temptation, pain and struggle we have ever faced, yet without sin. He took all our sins (past/present/ even future) to the cross and then crucified EVERY ONE on our behalf. Justice was paid on the cross so that we can be free from Hell's punishment, experience Gods mercy of forgiveness of sin and live in His love. If we turn from the sins we have committed and repent (turn away from our sin and pursue the opposite direction of love through Christ) He will, overtime, recreate us back into that previously perfect image through The Holy Spirit which Jesus sends to all who accept Him as their personal Lord and Savior of their life.
He is in Heaven right now preparing a place for us so that He can take His faithful, believing children home with Him when He returns. He will ressurrect us from death when He returns, giving mercy to those who accept His love, instruction and teachings in their life, and give justice to those who refuse it.
He doesn't want ANY of us to go to Hell and die for continuing in evil and rejecting His way to life, thats why He died FOR us. He wants us to be His and begin to follow His life of love and service through Him (not ourselves as it's impossible without depending on His power and instruction). So long as we keep our hearts near to Christ through His strength, strive to obey His will of perfect love revealed in the Bible, and ask Him to help us in the midst of (very certain) pitfalls and struggles, we will, in time, win the victory over sin, pain and DEATH through Christ. Even if you are willing to be made willing, pray for Jesus to come in and He will.
NOTE: You are NEVER too sinful or messed up that God cannot turn your life around through Jesus. EVER.
Xx if you have any questions let me know!
@@bearvillebear1468 okay look I'm a Christian too but that was a little much bro. Like I understand and stuff but there's a time and a place. Different people with different religions are on this app and some of them might have religious trauma or be triggered by that stuff. Even if your intentions are good, you're not going to convert someone in a TH-cam comment section.
It worked for me. Cause of that comment I am now a Hardcore Christian!
@@somebodyputsomethinginmydr1051 Kap
normal people: "she's 4 feet 11 inches"
tExT tO sPeEcH: *"she's 4 minutes and 11 seconds"*
Actually the quote and apostrophe are commonly used as time as well as measurement. For example, my car times calls, sand they are used during the timing. It’s just a simpler way of measuring time without having to write it all out.
G.G Marie it’s a he
420 lieks
@@ochelcatt5767 oh okay, just found it funny
@@itzjustice8175 oops
Apparently when my mum gave birth to me she screamed: "I'M BEING ABDUCTED BY LLAMAS!"
I think she'd taken extra drugs.
I read this comment
I lost it
This is a horrible comment to read in the middle of the night while people are trying to sleep, but it had me dying
Oh my god that's amazing.
ahahahaa
LMAO
“Oh frick me this hurts!”
“That’s how we got in this mess damnit!”
Imagine remembering back when your mom gave birth to you, and that’s the first thing you hear in your life
I was your 70th like, apologies.
@@lilcinnamonroll9577 Apologies accepted.
@@w3irdcor3buddy52 LMAOOO😭😭😭
When my mom had give birth to me , she griped my dad's hand so hard that it bleeds . So when my mom is giving birth to my sister , he had learnt his lesson and stand three meters away from her , shouting, 'COM'ON HONEY , YOU CAN DO IT! JUST NNNNNNNNGGGGG! DO IT AS IF YOUR POOPING! NNNNNGGGGGG '
The people beside him were like staring at him , as if they were questioning wheather he is the one giving birth or my mom is , since he was screaming louder than my mom and the lady who is beside her who is also giving birth🤣🤣🤣
Hahahahaha
I laughed infront of my brother and now we won't stop laughing.. .IT'S CONTAGIOUS
@@aquariette6769 yeah its pretty funny when i first heard it...my mom still hold grudge to my dad in this present day🤣🤣🤣
BAHAHAHA THE “NNNNNNGGG” AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS THE LOUDEST IS HILARIOUS
I diedddd😂😂😂😂😂😂
*Fact of the Day:*
Babies do not shoot out across the room to be caught like a football
*he's caught the baby he runs across the room to the mother and TOUCHDOWN he's delivered the baby to the mother 15 points*
Tired of seeing fake facts like this get a hobby.
This story made me smile. Really cute to think of such an earnest dorky new dad
Touchdown
StoneAce_ 9449425 but it’s true, babies don’t shoot across the room.
“The tumor was a healthy baby girl.”
I can’t stop laughing for some reason-
Did she keep the baby though ..
Damn it's been 3 months
You okay?)
I was the 666th like uh is this a sign
Omg 666
Reminds me of Black Jack
"I've never seen it before in my life"
I'm crying
🤣🤣🤣
The sister: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME, MOM
The entire hospital: Do you are have stupid?
YesNoMaybeSo-
LMAO İ CANT STOP LAUGHING
Maybe mom didn't have a vaginal birth.
“i gave birth to my nephew”
_wait a second there pal_
Its called surrogacy
Exactly what I thought 😂
She was the surrogate for her sister
Wait, thats illegal!
I love my siblings and all, but i aint pushing out any of their kids.
12:55 "I gave birth to my nephew."
Everyone: *Wait a second.*
I was thinking maybe she was a surrogate for her sister?
My thoughts exactly LMAO. Although, Void Dark’s comment makes sense, I wish she had specified what she meant.
Yeah i was a bit confused. Maybe she carried for her sibling.
Katsuki w-what are you doing h-here
*Hollup*
When my younger niece was born, her head was misshapen, and the docs had a little monitor attached to her scalp. And as soon as my eldest niece saw her, she whispered to her dad, “Daddy, it looks like an alien.”
Also, when my older sister (whose 16 years older than I am) watched our mom give birth to me, she said that was the best birth control ever, lol!
My son’s wife just gave birth to their first child. My son’s reaction to his daughter’s cone head was absolute terror. I tried to calm him down and tell him that was totally normal but he was so afraid her head would stay that way. A few weeks later, her head rounded out and he felt better but admits he didn’t believe me that her head wouldn’t stay that way. 😂
I can imagine the little girl growing up and saying to her friends that the first thing that came out my mums mouth when she was in labour with me was "I think is a tumour"
I think "HOLY HELL THATS A BIG DONG" Is worse. That kid is going to know of his exceptional dong from others. Mortifyyinggg
Then she says, its not a tumor, in Arnold Swarzaneggar's voice
woman: **giving birth** wait no
woman: *violently pressing escape key*
this transaction can not be cancelled.
This comment and it's response is amazing
*is there a "skip level" button*
@@akaashiswetsocks1860 no there is not
I wasn't satisfied with this trial and would like to cancel it
sister: **gives birth**
mom: itll be ok
sister: *YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS FEELS*
mom:
*i'm your mom you little bi-*
Well, it depends. My mom wouldn't know cause she had c section twice so she never got the experience the pains of natural childbirth.
oh, well i was born premature, so if i got c section my mother would've died. my mom then explained she got c section for none of her other babies, as her 1st born (my big half-brother) was born when she was 16, and her 2nd born (my big sister) was born when she was 24, and her 3rd was born when she was 28 and me when she was 28. (im youngest). i dont know if shes ever gotten c section
Nicoleta Daria Rosu Well, c-sections hut really badly as well. Thank your mom next time you see her.
Ella Neill I'm sure they do, but doubtfully anywhere near as bad as natural child birth with no pain meds. That actually even hurt me. My girl squeezed my hand so hard I had to get pins in my 4th metacarpal. Everything was done and I asked her Dr if he would take a look at my hand right quick (it was already swollen and my pinky was sticking out at a couple different odd angles). I was in x-ray about half an hour later and in surgery a few hours after that. In all fairness I managed not to make a sound as she was squeezing away. I got back from surgery, went back to see my girl and our new little girl and the first thing she said to me was "Ok, I guess we're even now.".....
i can’t get over the “I’m Lady Darth Vader” “can you feel my tonsils?” LOL
I'm watching this video to prepare for the pain when I'm older. This actually made me feel worse, from the ways the women reacted. Like, "Are you guys weaving a friendship bracelet down there?" Even if I dont get stitches, I'm scared.
This is late but honey you always have the option to go on anesthesia (unless you are allergic- then- something else) and wake up when the whole thing is over.
This is a year or so late but it's not as scary as it sounds. Not everyone tears, and I've been told most women don't feel it when they're stitched up. I can't speak too much regarding personal experience with vaginal birth, as my daughter was a c-section, but I do have stories from other women in my family.
Most of us tend to laugh at shit like this because after the fact, it IS funny, but if you're looking for genuine advice and prep, a video like this isn't where you should be looking. ❤
I will say, though, as far as pain goes, I had no pain tolerance before labor. After a 17hr labor and being forced to walk up and down the hospital hallway with a fresh abdominal incision (sometimes while holding my infant, yes I made sure the nurse didn't wander too far), my pain tolerance may as well be a brick wall.
All of this shit sounds scary, but every female who birthed your ancestors did the same thing. You've got every single female in your bloodline that came before you with you, because ultimately you came from them, and we're all made of our ancestors.
If you've decided not to give birth, that's ok. ❤
Im a boy but hope i can help, in my religion we have to cut the skin on the end of our ***** so we can be healthy and religion thing of course, I was always scared when I hear it, but it's actually not bad, it doesn't hurt
It's a "clean" pain. Not the pain of injury or some bad illness. It hurts but you're ok. Not scary just intense.
@@JariDawnchild my mom told me she had tears from giving birth as in insult
"whoops" is not something you want to hear the surgeon say.
If a surgeon, hair cutter person, or a tattoo artist says “whoops 😬” then you know you’re in trouble
I DID A CUM ENEMA JUST NOW!
ElectricBoba シ I would be like, “WHATDIDYOUJUSTDOTOME”
@@candiedpeach1280 or a construction worker.
Lily McClure definitely 😂
When I was delivering my baby boy I screamed "April fools! I'm not pregnant!"
His head was out... And it was October...
I was high on the gas and air, don't judge! 😅
I'm surprised I wasn't born on April 1st
@@animationpigeon4378 my grandma was OwO
@@m.e3491 your grandma is a joke
@@pondererofpointlessdreams5029 lmao ya that's what my grandad thought XD
Gas is no joke
" *DON'T HELP THE CRIPPLE* !!!!!!!" i'm sorry but i'm DYING
"the delivery nurse for my son's birth was about *four minutes and eleven seconds* "
ah yes, i am five minutes and 3 seconds
*WHEEZE* hello I'm 6 minutes
me: *what the frick is the passage of time*
Hello I'm 5 minutes and 1 second!
hello 5 minutes and 9 seconds
Hello 5 minutes and 5 seconds
"Fortunately when I gave birth to my nephew..."
_hold on a minute_
I'm glad I'm not the only one confused here
she's a surrogate.
@@doreenz3790 ok but where does it say that?
The Male Gardevoir Yeah that’s most likely when a person gives birth to their own nephew dumbass they are making a inference and a smart one at that so please sit your ass down
@@Lavenderfrostt I guess it's implied.
*Casually attempts to leave hospital while giving birth*
Elle The Animator that would be me
I also said, nope, that's enough. I'm not doing this today.
Elle The Animator I thought that only happens one that one episode of Mom.
Nope, guess not. XD
It’s fight or flight and she chose flight
she used the reverse card, pushed the baby back in and left.
Okay so my mom literally was so calm during my brith, it was a C section
mom: how's it going there, this hurts like shit
Doctor: wait you're hurting?
Mom: yep
Damn, I've heard stories about it hurting so much people would actually scream and it'd be heard throughout the building, so impressive she was able to stay calm.
This is too funny!😂
I didn’t scream at all during my two kids’ labors. But I did sing and that was much more annoying.
Nice Small Might pfp
@@Elunatrix you mean Small Might?
* Me in 10-15 years time screaming an entire vine compilation * FR!K YA CHICKEN STRIPS
FREE SHA VACADO
I really hope that I have the mental coherence (if I ever get pregnant) to say something stufpid just cause I can :)
OH MY GOAWDDDD
THEY WERE FUCKING ROOMATES
STOP I ALMOST DROPPED MY CORSONT
LOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKENS
My dad missed my birth completely because he was across the street getting ice cream
Valery Nicolle Lemus Sandoval mine was getting milk, he still is
Ann’s Adventure really same
Oof
My dad almost missed my brothers birth because he was on deployment. He and this other guy had to fly a helicopter back to land so my dad could witness the birth of his fourth child. Funny thing is that the other guy had to go to a funeral.
He had his priorities
"Doing this awkward jig, wanting to be helpful but not really knowing how to be helpful"
This is me everyday. All the time.
Same tho 😂
ME TOO 😂
YES
Felt this 😂
“Like this?” (Does everything wrong) “Oops...”
(Sigh) “Thanks, Eileen, but we’ll take it from here...can someone grab me a broom, please?”
“I can grab-“
“No, no, it’s okay, I got it, no worries...”
They know I mean well. :/
I started crying with laughter at “p**** eater” and didn’t stop til the end
ive heard the story multiple times from multiple family members, and apparently when my mom was in labor, my dad ran into the hallway of the hosiptal and yelled "I DONT CARE IF ITS THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY, SOMEBODY HELP MY WIFE" and thats hilarious to me
Is it bad that I laughed so hard now 😂😂😂😂
Baby: comes out face downwards
Father: omg it doesn't have a face
Woman: *stomach gradually gets bigger over 9 months*
Also woman: *water breaks and goes into labor having contractions*
Paramedic: boi you preggo I can see the head
Woman: hell naw that’s a tumor
lmao I love your name and profile pic hahah xD
How do u put writing in bold?? Plz tell meh😂😭😣
Moønliģht Gacha
I’ll tell you :D you put a * and another one at the end of the whole sentence.
*then you can write like this* :3
*Uh oh*
Well I mean, children are like cancer.
When I was born, a few days later my grandad came to see me and said “ew send her back” he was joking but the doctors thought he was serious
"The nurse was 4 minutes 11 seconds tall"😂😂😂😂
“DONT HELP THE CRIPPLE” - I have never laughed harder
Lol read your comment just when i saw that part
TBH SAME
my friend sprained his knee and is getting surgery for it soon and i wish he asked for stupid help for me to react to in that way...
No help me
💀!!!!!
Apparently my parents got pulled over by a cop on the way to the hospital when my mom was in labor.
She was like "Look you let us go or you're gonna deliver this baby."
He let them get the hospital where I was then born.
Oof
Dang
The cop didn’t want to protect that life yet.
He was probs like, "oh shit, sorry. you go now"
The paperwork tho...
After my youngest brother was born, my dad said, and I quote, "ho Ho HO THATS A BIG BABY!"
How big was he exactly?
@@beastmaster0934 cant remember :V
During the birth of my daughter I looked at my mom and said “mommy I can’t do this” and my husband was so confused and horrified because of the placenta 😂 my dad was the one who helped my through it since he distracted me from the pain so I could push since my epidural wore off mid push
imagine you're in the middle of surgery and you hear the doctor go "whoops"
@@cigarttae3387 😂
OH HECKKK NAHHH MANNN I would honestly throw the closest thing at him or her and scream "WHOOPS"
StrongPowerTY well my heart would go “whoops” down to my ass
Terrifying
**confused screaming in dead**
My dad was pulled over for speeding while try to get my mom to the hospital when she went into labor with me. She yelled at dad not to pull over but he said he had to. To cop came up to the door, took one look at my mom and just told them to go. When they got to the hospital, a nurse ran up to them and told them that they already had everything ready. Turns out she was that cop's wife and he had called ahead of time to warn her that there was a pregnant lady heading her way.
Zero FKSGVN 😂 that is so cute for some reason
wholesome
Awww that's so kind
That. Is. So. Wholesome!
How did the cop know they were going to his wife's hospital tho-
The only thing I can think of is that it was pretty close or something
"Don't help the cripple!" I know how she feels. But I feel the poor guy deserves an explanation 🙃.
My mom, when she was giving birth to me, apparently got on the table on all fours and screamed," It's cold in here! Close the barn doors!"
Lady: *giving birth*
Lady: lol nvm *attempts to get off the table*
Probably my mom XD I was the unexpected 11th child she had when she was 44 😂 she was probably like "Nope. I'm done."
300th like
@@bigred8730 w-wait 11th?
Lamo pretty much
@@bigred8730 holy shite eleven kidS
EVEN MY EX AINT HAVE THAT MANY SIBLINGS
"don't help the cripple" I hate myself for laughing
Don't hate yourself, they were helping prevent cancer
I have a friend who we call "the cripple" bc of course he uses a wheelchair and I instantly thought of him in this kind of situation and couldn't help laughing
That is why Bonnie Swanson is on the thumbnail
I don't hate myself for having to stop the video to laugh at that
I can imagine her hearing the old man ask the dad to but him cigarettes and her immediate reaction being "no, we are NOT doing that"
My dad’s first words when I was born... “he’s a girl!”
I wonder what were the reactions
😂😂😂😂😂
The one said, “When I was giving birth to my nephew”
I was very confused
It was a surrogate.
Well there is one simple answer:
(Breathes in sharply)
*ALABAMA!*
@@skittlez9233 surrogate
It was bot comment 1 and comment 2
*AlABaMA sURrOGaTE*
“OH MY GOD SHE DOESNT HAVE A FACE” lmaooo im done
I laughed so hard at this
Hahaha that was the best one for me
One thousandth like
“What the heck? are you guys weaving a friendship bracelet down there?!”
*wheezes*
That was the best
i was in the room with my mum while watching and looked like a maniac trying to contain my laughter 🤣👀
Kiyoko McKay lol
I BIT MY BABY DADDY'S TESTICLES OFF AND SPIT THEM AT THE DOCTORS!
@@huyup123456 are you high?
12:54 "I gave birth to my nephew"
**Holy music stops**
my sister was very dark when mom gave birth to her and she was like "WHY IS SHE A CHOCOLATE CHIP???" and then when i was born(im very pale) "WHY IS SHE NOT A CHOCOLATE CHIP??? I DONT LIKE VANILLA!!!" my dad and the doctors laughed.
This now makes me wonder what my parents did...when I was born...👀👀👀👀
I love your pfp we stan yoonji
XD
Lol im wheezing!!!
Kawaii Frenzy stop lying it’s not even amusing
Imagine hearing your wife yell
*I AM LADY DARTH VADER*
before giving birth to your child
Julian Montgomery How is that funny?
Julian... *wheeze* I am your motherrr *wheeze*
“Don’t help the cripple” reminds me of something my girlfriend said when sleep talking one time. She said “Don’t give eggs to the homeless.” Did a double take and asked her if that was what she said. Said yes and I had a little chuckle while telling her I wouldn’t give any eggs to the homeless. She then made a cute sleepy noise of approval. Love that girl to pieces. ❤️
My moms doctor didn’t do well delivering me so my mom got a fourth degree tear. When I had my son, my mom was in the room and they’re stitching me so I ask how bad. They say “only a second degree tear” I immediately point at my mom and go “HA!”
DOCTOR: "This is odd."
MOTHER: "What is it?"
DOCTOR: "Your baby is black, but it has red hair."
MOTHER: "What does that mean?"
ME: "It means bad news for the Kingdom of Hyrule."
Craps Malloy omg 😂
And that kids is how ganon was born
This sent me-
Oh god, I thought that
Im cackling
I actually have a friend who is an African American ginger. He is dark, freckles, and RED hair.
Maybe that was your friend's birth story?
Damn. One in a million. I'd like to see that guy 🙌
When I heard this I thought "Ron Weasley's and Dean Thomas's baby."
I need help I'm sorry...
@@annag1740 lmfaoo
@@annag1740
Atleast someone remembers Dean isn't white.
"DON'T HELP THE CRIPPLE" is now my favorite line
My grandma told me that her mom delivered her little brother at their home, during night, and didn't make a SINGLE noise. She did everything she could not to wake her childrens.
My definition of courage.
I was holding my wife's hand, she said in an angry and vile voice "I just want to break your f***ing fingers"
The room laughed
She said in the same voice, dead pan
"I'm not f***ing kidding"
I wriggled a couple fingers free.
Are your f***ing fingers ok?
@@bigred8730 I'm dying omg
@@moonlightthepotato7699 That gives me so much affirmation, thank you!
Are your fingers ok though ;-;
@@bigred8730 👌👌
*“That’s not mine, never seen it in my life”* lmao
Kinda true there tho! She *hasn't* seen it before in her life
*put that mf in the lost and found*
*Take it to the lost and found*
I remember when I was born, the doctor said “Wow, that’s a lot of hair” and according to my mom the nurses fell in love with my long hair
You remembered?- *T E A C H M E Y O U R W A Y S*
Which they promptly removed lol
@@Aiyatheduck
Omg same, I had 4 inches of thick, curly hair when I was born. The nurses played with my hair so much, and apparently one them cried when I went home lol
I was a pretty happy baby who almost never cried, I was really strong and I didn't look like a newborn so there's that too
@@LifeIsAHighwayIAmACarCrash I’m guessing that wasn’t meant for me?
I remember when my little brother was born I thought he was the most precious little angel I’ve ever seen and I was obsessed with him now fast forward 2 and a half years he punches me in the boobs bites my shins pulls my shirts down and spits in my hair and then acts like an angel for my parents... There’s another little angel coming in a week and I’m kinda stressed about it now
My sister gave birth to a little girl and screamed: “THIS IS WORSE THAN FISTING”
😷😷😖😲😨
💀💀💀
🤣
Well then
💀💀💀
The nurse who was changing my diapers, taking care of me, and was there when I was being born, was my dad's Ex-girlfriend...
Oh my god, i shouldnt be laughing, STAPPPP!😂😂
Oh shit
Potato Soup shiiiii🤭
Oh god 😂
Oh crap
When I gave birth and she came out the first thing I said (according to my husband) was
"Heck yeah, I can do this one more time!"
Still weirds me out :D
“DONT HELP THE CRIPPLE” - quote from pregnant woman.
“The delivery nurse for my son’s birth was about four minutes and eleven seconds.”
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I absolutely lost it at this jesus frickin christ-
When i was born my aunt was getting married, my grandmothers boss's funeral was happening and my dad was late 🤣😂
Wow
Mkay
Oh my
Ah, nice.
I-Is this true
I helped deliver a baby and the mom was so sweet and took it like a champ. The worst thing she said was "oh ouch!!!"
All I could think of is that kid on the roller coaster screaming “I LIKE PONIESSSSS”
lady *giving birth*: *screaming in pain*
also lady: *y'all i wanna rib*
💀💀👌
My mom after I was born was like "I'm hungry" and everyone bust out laughing, then she said "What? You took how many pounds out of me and didn't let me eat last night, what else do expect?" (she had a C-section) lmao
I swear this will be my sister when she has a kid. She loves ribs and babies so this will definitely be her
Lady: *Come on the nurses and doctors will never know*
Nurses and Doctors: *Am I a joke to you*
For both of her child births, my wife would give one mighty last push, and scream "I AM A VIKING WOMAN" at the top of her lungs. I still break out in random laughter from it.
She's Spanish.
How are your kids and wife doing now?
@@Poffean they're just living their Spanish/American/Viking life.
@@adamriddle9945 Lmao are you part Scandinavian?
@@somerandomasshole4561 nope. Not at all. Scottish, an Elizabeth Warren amount of Native American, and a little bit of English I believe.
@@adamriddle9945 Lmao an Elizabeth Warren amount of Native American 👌👌👌
When I had my first baby, waaaaaay down the hall I heard a very young girl screaming “I’m not having this kid. Stop trying to uncross my legs. Get away! I’m going home!!.” It was funny but sad. She was barely 14. Had a baby girl. 😆
"WhY tHe fRiCk DoEs iT LoOk LikE A rApToR?!"
So it's currently 11:23pm on Christmas Eve and I can hear my mum putting all the presents under the tree downstairs and I'm trying SO HARD not to scream. I'm laughing as silently as I possibly can
*DONT HELP THE CRIPPLE*
*top 10 hitler lines*
Heracles Saint-vil Omg 😂
Lmao 😂😂🤣
Sister: YOU NEVER GAVE BIRTH!!!
mom: Yes, you're right
*[JAZZ MUSIC STOPS]*
@@Whoeverthatis-g5t **holy music stops**
Hold up- 👁️👄👁️🤚
*mom wakes up in rubber room*
@@nolanstone7533 *boss music stops*
That’s the hardest I’ve ever laughed especially on the first one it killed me
When I saw the title/thumbnail, I expected the doctor heard the woman shouting, "Holy shit, I'm letting out an epic turd!"
BOI YOU TRIYNG TO KILL ME OF LAUGHTER
*”Take it to lost and found”* 😂😂
69 likes=nice
I'm not gonna like this comment cuz
69
Nice
I read this as it was said
The lady who made the post about giving birth to her nephew edited her reddit comment to include this,
“*edit apparently there is some confusion how a person can give birth to a baby that is not theirs. My sister had had miscarriages again and again and one seriously threatened her health. She had viable eggs but the dr advised her against trying to get pregnant again. They were discussing adoption (as we had been adopted when we were young) and while it was a very viable option there are a lot of hoops to jump through. (especially since her husband didn't have any living family and we had cut ties from both of our parents and a majority of our family). We joked that I should get pregnant and give her the baby and a lightbulb went on. They asked if the dr could harvest viable eggs and fertilize them if I would be willing to carry a baby for them. Fast forward about a year later and they had eggs ready to and I went in and got pregnant with her baby. The dr that implanted the eggs was there when my nephew was born as well. It was a pretty normal pregnancy in all aspects with the difference being I had no genetic link to the baby.”
Now I'm just trying to come up with all the ways they could mess with the kid's head once he's old enough to understand just how weird it can sound
ohh okay thanks for clearing it up
Surrogate. Simple as that. My mother had my brother and I IVF
Thanks, lol.
Ohhh. Thank you
"FriCK mE!!"
*Thats how we got into this mess*
From what my mom says, when I was born the nurse had to yell into the hallway 'Tell the doctor to put on roller skates or he ain't gonna make it'.
Oml xD
Lmao HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Lmfao
She has told that story all my life
Lmao
"Frick me!"
"That's how we got into this mess, damnit!"
That was what got me lmao
Edit: 1.5k likes. That's a new one.
@Chicken Strips I can assure you, I'm definitely not 9
"OH MY GOD SHE DOSENT HAVE A FACE"is what got me
"DON'T HELP THE CRIPPLE!!!" XD
When I was born there was a medical student there for training, as my mom was pushing, the student almost fainted and had to step out to get some air. This left the nurse and my mom laughing. She then told me that it hurt to laugh cause she was still in labor.
"When I gave birth to my nephew"
*Sweet home Alabama*
I'm so glad not the only one that noticed that
It's probably a surrogate for him.
Wait that's still incest I just realized XD
*where The skies are blue*
@@roselle.0835 no it's not! There's a better chance on it being a surrogate
@@brytonandmaggieslife5934 it said nephew probobaly meaning that the person giving sperm was the brother. Idk, it could be something else.
Women in labor: *tries to talk*
Everyone in the room: she's speaking the language of gods
MY ASSHOLE SINGS IN FRENCH!
My mother broke her ass with my two sisters.... Named us ABC... And they have the same middle and last names... Childbirth is wild... Im not a momma myself yet except to an angel baby...
My mum has very dark hair and my dad is ginger. When I was born, she looked at me and said to my dad:
"Why does it have red hair? Did you cheat on me? Is this another woman's baby?"
Little did she know that you don't necessarily have to be ginger to have ginger kids
"Is this another woman's baby?" 🤣🤣🤣 I CAN'T EVEN
The ad before this:
*WANT FREE BIRTH CONTROL?*
These stories make me want to say yes
Yep same
LARA MACE-TROCHE wait what the duck
I WANT MY ANUS GLAZED LIKE A FRESH DONUT!
huyup123456 🤣
As a female, I'm just here to laugh my ass off and dread the day *I'll* be the one pushing a baby outta there! X'D
if it's any solace, you don't remember how much it hurt, after a couple of weeks
same...
u could also get a c section
As a woman. Im afraid ._.
I’ve got two children (G-3yrs B-6mnths) and the pain is only temporary, it sounds weird but I loved giving birth, was the most exciting day ever 🤦🏻♀️🤣 the pain felt totally worth it 👍🏻 and it was 🥰
I remember a story that my grandmama told me once it was about how my momma was born-
Back then my grandpapa thought babies comes out of the butt hole so when after my mom got born in a few hours later
my grandpapa went to my grandmama's side and said "Does your butthole hurt dear?"
it was a very funny story that i like to remember, They we're a sweet couple-
When my second son was being born I screamed "GET IT OUT OF ME", I gave birth without any pain medication or a epidural. Now I am little over 6 months pregnant with my third son and I am getting a epidural, I can't do all natural child birth. I had a epidural with my first son, so I know the difference! Lol 🤰👶👨👩👧💙💜🙌🙏
"And both of my older brothers danced in jubilation."
I'm just imagining two boys default dancing while the sister is crying and if that isn't funny, then I don't know what is.
Me default dancing after telling my younger brother that the window cleaner was Gatorade
@@spidertransrightsarehumanr5433 slurp slurp forbidden juice
duduu omg now dat somg be stuck in my head xD
Text: No.
Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Robot voice: “Number.”
No. Means number...
I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one who noticed.
It’s because it had a period after it and No. is the abbreviation for number. Meh.
My dudes I know that No. can stand for number. I was just saying it because that’s not the no that was being used in the situation
MY COUSINS AND I RAN A TRAIN WITH MY GYNECOLOGIST!
I have a friend who's mom every year on his birthday would pull out tongs and come at his head with them and say, "remember these!"
a lady I helped screamed: 'THIS ISN'T A BABY THIS IS A BLOODY PUMPKIN' And she placed a complaint because I laughed..
When my mom was giving birth to my older brother (her first child) she shouted "WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!?!? IS IT A FRICKING DINOSAUR?!?!"
Lmao
Omg why am I laughing the house down
"That's not mine. I've never seen it before in my life. Take it to the lost and found."
Why does that sound like something I'd say after giving birth?
Princess that’s fucked up
{Honey} 😂😂😭
I laughed so hard and long when I heard that.
@@needledbugs Dude, Its not actually what I'd say, it's a joke because I'm stupid.
Princess yea ik lol