Getting Mixed Signals From Your Ex?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
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If you were dumped but are now getting mixed signals from your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend and want to know what they mean and what to do about it, this video by Coach Lee is for you.
Be sure to watch it all the way to the end!
It's very important that you watch this video all the way to the end to get a full understanding of why your ex is giving you mixed signals and what you should do about it to fully get them back.
If your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend is giving you mixed signals, you probably feel that you are in limbo land.
You aren't back with your ex all the way yet, but they seem to be interested in getting back together one day and not the next.
They text or call you a few days in a row and then you don't hear from them.
They tell you they miss you or maybe even say that they love you but then they disappear and tell you that they are confused or want to take a step back.
Coach Lee explains what you should do and how you should respond to these mixed signals if you want your ex back and want to end the mixed signals.
An accompanying article to this video may be found at myexbackcoach....
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I really love your Channel. So very helpful and you are so great Coach Lee. Please keep it up!..
Emma Carla
i really love you..
Whether I get her back or not, this series of videos has kept me going these past couple weeks. Thanks so much for these. They've kept me sane when I have felt hopeless.
I totally agree, these videos have been my lifesaver
These videos are literally therapy, and so helpful.
Mithrandork any update on getting her back?
Agreed. They are insightful, soothing and therapeutic. Thanks for all your time and effort coach!
I don't have any friends that are committed in helping me get through this breakup. The two friends that are closest have families and are busy with their lifestyle. So, these videos have really been helping me and give me strength and courage to do what is needed to get through this terrible time for me.
I’ve been watching these types of videos for over a year now and believe me, Coach Lee is the man to listen to!
True I can’t stop watching his videos .. Coach lee I really appreciate your time and effort to help us and enlighten us thank you
Craig kenneth is also pretty good, psychotherapist
I agree I've been so busy watching his videos for days now.
It help me calm and improve myself😊Thanks Coach Lee😇
Agreed I think I just have the wrong 1 I guess
@@PricelessBinkey1337 i watch him as well
So sick of these games man.
I get it.
Jposco.. Can’t stand games either.. And I’m no good at playing them.
Ocean Flower tell him you are talking to others
Amen!
Best way to play the game is to not play it
My ex when I reach out warmly: "Screw him, he's too needy."
My ex when I give her space: "Screw him, he doesn't want me."
strike a balance
No move on. Tell her to grow up and figure shit out.
Waiting outside in the cold doesn't feel good and I don't know many people that would freeze their hands hoping for 1 glove, if you get my picture. You have purpose too. Not just to wait around for your ex!!!!!!!
Hahaha, so true. That's the low self-esteem/narcissistic ex. She wants you to want her, but ultimately she doesn't ever want you. Just remember that.
The worst is, when you let them go and move on and don't talk to them or even ghost them, they freak out and suddenly love you and miss you so much. Then - like he said - if you get too comfortable as if you're back together, she'll be gone again and calling you the crazy ex who won't let go. If you tread lightly, she'll be gone again but in slightly longer time. Either way, she's gone. If she breaks up with you, then just rip the band-aid off. It would've hurt much more initially, but you could have been back on your feet and dating a much hotter chick by now. Think about it.
It's so nice to know I am NOT the only one going through this shitty time in my life 💖
❤BE STRONG EVERYONE!❤
u too buddy!
@@deluxecsgo3022 🤗
hang in there. Here for you !
Hope you're hanging in there!
In the end don't give them what they took away from you.
Exactly! Everything has to be the ex's idea. From her texting you to her calling you to her wanting the relationship again
I don't think EVERYTHING should be at her prompting. I think with women, they want/need to be pursued, even if they are the ones who did the breaking up. Yes, you have to let her open that door, but she needs to know that you want her and will still be the man!
@@adel8632 I agree with that but I'm not going to chase her or show interest unless she opens that door first especially if she ended the relationship.
@@adel8632 Women find it highly unattractive when you chase em... it maybe makes them feel good but they wont see you as an option if all u do is chase
Yea, bro, she broke up with you. It has to be her idea. You can't have a mind of your own. Anything that is your idea is controlling.
@@adel8632 You are 100% correct and only a few men understand this.
I think they are just unsure what they want.
Which is absolutely unfair
O
O
Emotional rollercoasters are not fun, I need ten toes down certainty not twisted complication
Thank you so much for this! He’s back, he’s told me he wants commitment again. I’m just acting light, breezy, cool and unratled waiting for him to move things forward. This video has really kept me on the right track!
Lolita Webelman aww can you share your experience? How long has it been?
Sure! And feel free to use this as a testimonial.
A couple of months ago, he told me he didn’t see a future for this relationship and I replied “Sure, I agree. I’m glad you brought it up.” Of course that’s not the way I really felt but I had to hold on to my last shred of dignity. I discovered your ‘No contact’ videos which got me from one day to the next, tried to date other men (which, by the way didn’t work.). When he finally reached out again, I acted like he was just an old friend, I wouldn’t let him see that I was exited or anxious to get back together. He kept getting in touch and saying ‘I love you’ but I took it in a light, breezy, cool, collected way subcomunicating that I now have other options. Now the tables have turned 😁. He’s waiting for me to decide whether we’re getting back together or not.
Lolita Webelman aww i hope it will turnout the same in my case. Been two months with a lot of mixed signals, but he didn’t ask to get back together. Also, we are in LDR. May i ask how long has you guys been together?
2824000 just over a year when he broke up with me.
Lolita Webelman did you go the whole year with hot n cold?? I’ve been dealing with hot n cold for 5 mths
3 years after this video is posted and it's still helping people. Thank you for being here and for sharing your wisdom. It's a huge comfort learning what I've learned this evening.
Pacing myself was the hardest thing for me to do at one point.
I was either overbearing or just flat out cold. Now I've found a balance and it's all working out. You are the💣
Suga IsTheTruth I'm trying to figure out how not to be cold or to be too overeager. Will you explain how you are staying in the middle? I really want him back. He was the dumper. How do I stay steady & not let all the pain of the way our relationship was in the past & be able to work on a future with him.
@@slbellue6874 what worked for me was clearing my energy. For me that meant for me to find peace by any means necessary. I've lost friends and become very distant because I went through a spiritual awakening. I became so desperate to become happy with myself by doing some much needed inner work. I then went into radio active silence. I only spoke to him when he spoke to me but I kept it short and sweet. This was hard because I wanted things to move fast. I had to be honest with myself and own my mistakes. My main mistake was being aggressive and unstable. I gain so much confidence during that time. And I like the chase lol. Confidence is key!! They have to know that you have a life and that they're an option. I keep in mind what my long-term goal is and constantly remind myself that of the strength that I have and also. U can not be attached to an outcome. When I feel my crazy ways rising up, I just distance myself and occupy myself with a hobby. Resisting the temptation of flipping the hell out is sooooooo hard but you'll feel so much better about yourself when u do. I embrace my femininity and stand in my power. I battle with this sometimes still. But it's becoming easier. I hope this helps u and makes good sense 💖💖
Suga IsTheTruth You have struggled with the very same things that I struggle with now. I don't like feeling as if he holds all the cards & all I can do is stay in limbo. You have given me a way to spring myself from his grasp & my own self made jail. I will follow your path and guidance. Yes, you made perfect sense. I appreciate your help more than I can adequately express. Thank you so very much for sharing your wisdom with me. I hope you will continue to do so as you gain new insight into what works best for you. I'd truly love to hear it.
@@Dlovely516 it's sounds like you're on the right track. The ex needs to feel the the consequence of his request. The thing is that guys want to keep us close but without the commitment. They're going to be cool with that as long as we are. It is sooo hard to keep the distance between u and the person u love. But they need to see and understand our boundaries. I had to learn that people are only going to take me as serious as I take myself. Sometimes we're afraid to entertain other guys during this process because we still want to be available to a person in a sense. But that's the very thing that weighs us down🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
@@Dlovely516 my inner work started with me asking myself some real questions like
What am I missing? I do I really want? What's hurting me. I had to nurture my inner child .I has to be really be honest with myself and get the energy and guidance I needed to began my healing process. I found a new hobby and joined a women's support group in my city. These things opened my eyes to new things and were very therapeutic. Now my love sees that I have new things to talk about. I think he's turned on by the distance. I don't play games. I'm just living. I think yoga is ga great idea and so is salsa. I say do it! Be sweet and stand in your power. And try not to be attached to an outcome. You'll eventually be ok with the th ought of things not moving the way you had planned them to go. It's ok. He'll definitely be back! 💖💖
You can just tell that coach lee is an expert in his field of work
I 100% recommend taking a coaching call with Coach Lee. It couldn't have gone any better & he gives you real practical advice on the next steps to take in getting your relationship in order. Can't thank him enough.
I wish Coach Lee would be taking coaching calls right now but he’s not in my situation is a little bit different and I would really like to talk to him about it but he’s not taking calls right now!
Honestly, these videos are saving me. The mixed signals are killing me. I was in no contact and he kept reaching out once a week or so. Casual. Friendly. Insisting he wanted to be friends, while sending me old pics and bringing up old memories. I did all the things Coach Lee recommended. Polite, warm and friendly. But letting him be the pursuer. It went on for while, he asked if we could have movie night and pizza. We got together and it was nice. Just friendly. But, now, two weeks later, he has all but disappeared. Randomly. It's day three and next to nothing. I'm resisting reaching out to him. This video has helped me to see he is maybe just having a swing the other way, so to speak. I'm not sure. Super confused. My overthinking mind tells me he met someone else, but I'm trying to be reasonable and detached so even if he did, it won't affect me that badly. I've been working on myself a ton.
i hope you the best. Any updates?
@@PassportKings he met someone else. I ended up going no contact so I could heal myself and move on. We went almost 2 years without much contact. Lately we are surface friends again. I realized we weren't meant to be and I wish him all the best.
Alot of the time when the ex tries to come back, they are the ones who come on too quick then next thing you know, they vanish. It's like they suddenly switch it around to make it seem like you were the "needy" one.
Narc !
After 3 weeks of watching Coach Lee's videos. I don't even want her back.
I had time to think and I now realised she is nothing to me.
Thanks Coach Lee 🙏😊❤️
GENIOUS GENIOUS GENIOUS, no-one in the entire TH-cam channel can explain the breakup or ex psychology and dealing with breakup situations so well as our wonderful brilliant blue eyed coach lee does...... We all love you so much... Keep up the good work....
best thing is, binge watching your videos really helped me to learn that i dont even care about her anymore and dont want her. I mean i miss the times, they were great, but i have the memory and i enjoy having lived that and being young and able to learn from it.
I will do no contact forever until she talks to me and i will look how she is as a current human and i if i want to be in touch with her at all, but i dont bother about a relationship anymore. Thats the best part, i do no contact because it feels so good.
I love that coach lee is so honest and doesn’t sugarcoat anything. Really helps when trying to make better decisions. Thank you for your channel ✨👌🏾
She called me crying... "Come over". 3 weeks after the Breakup. Follow what Coac- The GOAT says. 👍🏼
TheSeattlegreen updates?
TheSeattlegreen good luck man! You’re not alone. I got dumped for the 2nd time 1 week ago, she was so so unsure and Crying badly. I told her if she really does this to block me cuz it would hurt to see her name. So she did. Now, exsctly 1 week later, she posted a video on tik tok “I just texted my ex (not me) to make my recent ex (me) supaaa mad!”. So this shows me she wants my attention and she wants a reaction from me. I think this is good but it hurts a lot still and is making me worry she is fine. She has been posting sad crying videos all week and suddnely yesterday she posted “hmu if u want a good ass girlfriend”, and all those happy videos. I know it’s all for a reaction from me. If she really wants my attention idk why she doesn’t unblock me and text me or soemthing but I have to give this more time it’s only been a week. 2nd breakup but we had a 1 year long and amazing relationship on both parts. Breakup was due to me not trusting her fully sometimes, and she is also going through a midlife Chrisis with her family, but again she is acting like she’s looking for a boyfriend so that hurts :(
TheSeattlegreen it’s okay man! It’s good to let it out that’s what the comments are for man. I wish you luck. You’re not alone, I’m feeling so similar to you in the fact that my heart weighs a lot. Time is your best friend. You also said she keeps bringing you up to her friends? So that’s a good thing!
@@theseattlegreen1871 omg! How are you doing now? Any updates?
TheSeattlegreen hope you’re doing better now 👍
I was sure everything was lost. My ex told me she was done and had been done for a while. She was tired of the arguing we had two stepchildren and a child and she felt things were unhealthy for the kids. I tried no contact, but I broke down and bought coach Lee's program. Less than $100, and lots of videos later, I have my fiance back, my kids back, my home back, my self-respect back, and peace and love back in my life. Listen to Coach Lee, buy the program. Save what you had. Love is priceless.
THXS
Can you provide a timeline? I know it doesn't translate. But I'm curious..
Your voice and words are the only ones that soothe and cálm me down. God gave You this gift of helping others. People:
"Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life" Proverbs 4:23
This is what coach Lee helps with.
Thank you again for your kind words. Merry Christmas.
@@RealCoachLee Merry Christmas coach Lee!!!
I just want to be myself. No games. I'm perfect just the way I'm. After 1,5 Year hot and cold treatment I know that I deserve better. I believe in love and I know that someone ( he) or somebody better will come into my life. Best regards to you all♥️
I know that's RIGHT!
I do not understand why most people can't be themselves and not play games , which is for kids.
There is someone out there mature enough to be themselves and not playing games.
AMEN
Ewelina K you are beautiful and deserving of so much better
@@ekatime exactly
@@ekatime you're completely wrong it sounds like more of a personal situation that you had not everybody situation is like that where I can tell you my situation is not like that at all
Where are you???I want to meet with you
110% accurate i did this overpursuing and she dumped me again. Listen to this Coach people. She is giving mixed signals again and did a tiny bit of reaching out to me so thats encouraging. Hope we can make this happen again.
Wish you all the best!
This guy is a genuinely the best coach out there!
Ex texted & called me out of blue in the middle of the night. Next morning, I responded asking who was this & moved on my day. Stay focused on your purpose bros 💪
Coach Lee.. I am so glad to have you around.. just listening to your pointers is such a positive note for me.. I'm a senior, widowed and lonely.. keeping in touch with My Ex, whom I broke up with and the blame is on me.. I know what I want and where I'd like to be now but it's not an easy trip.. still, I believe you're right in everything you say and patience and discipline will prevail with your guidance. Tqsm for your time and efforts in trying to reach out to so many lonely hearts out there. Please keep up the good work. God Bless 🙏🌹
Love these videos. I have learned so much! A lot of us weren’t taught how to have healthy relationships or had bad examples growing up. We have different attachment styles and so on because of it. So we can’t proceed expecting our person who may have learned differently growing up to have an understanding of where we are coming from. I think these videos teach self discipline, how to process intrusive thoughts from fiction to fact, how to pause before reacting so you can react maturely while respecting yourself. It helps you to understand your person better, and even if you don’t get your person back I think these are great things to incorporate in future relationships so that the relationship has a stronger foundation and you can recognize your own behaviors and patterns.
My husband came by to see our daughters. I'd be initiating no contact for a week. He gave me a hug before he left. It wasn't a warm embrace but it was a hug. I was cool, calm and collected! I kept the conversation on the kids. I didn't break!!
I wanted to thank you very much. My girlfriend wanted to take a break and I used your no contact as opposed to the begging and pleading route. She primed it for a long break, however after a week she reached out to me and went out her way to meet my mother. I’m glad this worked because I do like this girl. Thank you.
really love your calm rationale, you are practical, straight forward, wise and heart centred- thank you
If it don't feel right.....then "IT AIN'T RIGHT". When the other person doesn't carry their end of the log, cut them off and move on.
The mixed signals r killing me. “I don’t see a future for us. You’re so wonderful but deserve better. U will find someone who can give u what u want. I can’t give you what you want bcz of our age gap. I feel very very sorry I cannot commit to a serious relationship. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. Miss you we will always be friends.......”
These r his mixed messages. We have shared emotional mental and physical intimacy for 5 years. But he won’t call me his gf. And he won’t openly introduce me to his family. I’m 40 and he’s 30. He says the age gap bothers him. Yet he tells me I’m the most wonderful woman he’s ever met.....
He is so immature.
I don’t know what could wake him up to valuing what’s really valuable in life.
Age is so shallow. The true issues are is the person kind, reliable, giving, safe, loving, a friend, good natured and good hearted. Etc etc etc.
He’s killing me bcz all he does is focus on how embarrassing it would be for his family to kno he’s with an “older woman”. Like I’m a freaking old lady or something. I’m not. Haha
Sheez....we have such good memories together.
But he won’t commit.
So I’m gonna try to move on.
It will be hard to forget him bcz w all my heart I dearly love him. (And he knows it. He told me he’s never felt so cherished and loved by anyone in his life and that I melt right into his heart) (but damn is he ain’t freaking superficial. Really? You’re gonna throw us away over numbers? Are we in high school.?) he said he has a problem of always fearing what other ppl might think of say about him.
Sigh.
His own emotions r his worst enemy and what is keeping us a part.
When he feels afraid. Or embarrassed. Or any other shameful huge emotion bam! He drops me so fast. Then he reaches out sometimes the vet next day and says I miss u. How r u. I’m so sorry I can’t commit....”
My heart is beaten and broken.
I seriously wish I could meet a meet man and be able to move on.
This relationship feels like such a dead end. Around and around and around we go year after year. We have great times together. Then suddenly he gets cold feet and says I’m sorry I can’t do this.
I feel like unless he has some kind of wake up call or near death experience he won’t ever mature up to the point we need where he values what’s truly valuable in life. Instead of focusing obsessively on numbers of ages.
Love is a mysterious thing. So powerful. So wonderful.
God help me with all I’m going thru
Thank you coach Lee. Your expert advice really really helps me thru the pain.
It’s just unbelievable how concise and accurate your advices are!
I started watching your videos 5months back when my ex broke up with me and trust me, every step of they I referred to your advices and they made me feel i’m heard and understood.
Now he’s back and acting hot and cold and here i am again listening to you and feeling how great it is to have you with me in my love life. Thanks coach
Should I send this message? “You’re making this harder than it needs to be. Please give me space. I feel like you’re practically trying to string me along and it’s not something I can accept. You giving me this false hope, still showing affection, it’s like bait. If you really wanted it you’d fight for it now because otherwise you will lose me. When you tried hugging me, I walked away because it’s practically toying with my heart, you can’t have it both ways. I can’t sit here and take this, please respect my boundaries. This isn’t what I want but it’s what I NEED. I don’t feel that you’re respecting my request for us not to be friends. You telling me it’s not what you want but that it’s what you need, you shouldn’t tell me that. It gives me hope and I don’t want any from you now. You need to accept that we’re broken up and I can’t stay like this. If you need to work on yourself so much that it’s going to keep us from being together, rather than trusting me as your significant other to help you, then please don’t contact me. You make it seem like you’re so deeply in love with me still, but if you were, you’d give the world to stay and realize this won’t work for me, being in this position. Please respect my request, I didn’t desire this but you haven’t respected my boundaries and it’s needed at this point.”
You don't know why they keep backing off ,not for certain, that's what makes us feel anxious. They could be doing it purposely, who knows. Especially if you have positive interactions , and all you get after that is silence for day's,and inconsistencies.
Best thing to do is probably back off yourself,don't be so quick to reply. sometimes,even if they are enjoying talking to you, they will push the wall back up, and make themselves believe you're trying to force things. Sometimes, they can be in denial that they're acc enjoying talking to you, so they go cold for a week. Almost like they're trying to force the negative feelings they may have felt for you before those one's positive interactions(conflicting feelings).
Try not to over think it, just mirror them. If they back off and go cold , when they contact you again, don't rush to respond, even wait a couple day's to respond. They could also be testing you to see if you're gonna become needy or that you want it more than them. Patience and caution is the way to go, even if you are the one who reached out, don't let ur anxiety get to you
Yeah this is exactly where my situation is rn. We texted for a few weeks, and suddenly it has stopped for a week now. I don’t know if I should initiate contact now or not. It just feels like he’s met someone and tossed me aside, again. It gives me huge anxiety since he wanted to see me and I was eagerly expecting that.
@@Ninscu going through the same shit. Positive interactions when she does reach out, SOME disagreements on things, but nothing super serious and she goes cold again. Havnt heard from her in 2 weeks...she reaches out....goes cold for 2 weeks......honestly, this treatment is making it easier to make a decison to move on eventually. There is no way im going to live like this forever or a year from now. Our break up, from her perspective was shceudling conflict due to Long distance. Said she needed to focus on school. She suffers from depression. whatever, honestly, i dont give a shit.
@@mattyice7546 what ever happened ? Did you guys get back together?
@@Ninscu is what happened ? I’m dealing with the same ...
@@jazmyne586 how you getting on now? X
I have a short word to say ..once they left the game is over .. they will not coming back .. they are not the same.. they will go to others have memories with others.. it's finished.. now we must move on
That’s not everyone’s situation. That’s just yours.
5:40 totally agree. Prizes and pursuits. Both need to be the prize!
Week 2 of radio silence since the breakup:
My ex asked me how I was and I responded casually and in no way excited.. but I remained polite.
We eventually fell into a regular conversation like how we used to talk
And I eventually hit him with “is it healthy that we’re talking”
And I just got a “I don’t know”
..I ended up just leaving it on read and I can’t help but feel like I’m getting played.
I got the same feeling when he reached out that I’m being played but he told he’s not 🥺
Hey man you're awesome!!
I no longer care if she contacts me or not! I've been in no contact for more than 8 months and she is the one that keeps contacting me frequently now. Stay strong peeps, you'll be fine and no longer feel like needing them !
About dumping the person: I have dumped my ex because of her behaving and treating me worse, avoiding me and playing games, being rude to me. I was always kind, helpful and full of good energy to her. She started driving me mad and definitely giving me a reason to dump her. I wrote her a long message about two weeks ago, describing what she did to me and why it hurt me. I also wrote her to text me IF she thinks about everything and starts treating me better. I also blocked her on social media. So I am in the situation I really can't reach out to her. Now either she comes back or not.
Coach Lee, you rock.
Your analysis is so accurate .
The truth about this and Coach Lee know is that he helps you to moving on. At the the time NC works you are the one that does not want anymore. It's hard to believe in the first week, second week, but wait and see.
Yesterday was two months since she left me after almost 10 years. I’ve never felt this kind of pain and it is by far the worse feeling anyone can go through and yea I ruined our relationship I was unfaithful to her and she dealt with that dark pain for 3 years. It’s tough when the tables are turned. 😔 you reap what sow.. 😔💔
What would possess you to ever cheat on someone who you love? I never understood cheaters I'm really trying to figure you guys out.
I mean you have a beautiful woman who loves you and you go and you have sex with just some random woman? Where's the thrill? I don't get it are you worried about STDs pregnancy? I just don't get it I don't feel sorry for people who cheat, I'm sorry...
Hey coach lee , you pinned one of my comments a day ago where I was super excited about how my ex wanted to come back to me , however the next day he told me he didn’t want to get back with me because when he’s not physically around me , he doesn’t want me and remembers bad things of our relationship.... so that’s why I came here to this video because he’s sending me mixed signals and I had no idea how to handle that , but this video really helped me , so THANK YOU SO MUCH .
Evelyn Cabrera how did it go? Can you please update
Going through a terrible break up right now with my ex-girlfriend. We were together for 4 years, it's a shame and it's broken me down to the core. It has been a month almost now and I still have hope to get her back one of these days, although a part of me has started to move on and started looking at other girls. I just want to thank you Coach Lee for these amazing videos. Out of all the coaches on TH-cam you were the one who has by far by far inspired me the most and given me courage to stay in no contact and try to move on. I will see where this leads. I trust in the power of time. For all of those who are going through the same right now, be strong and pacient, give time to time.
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed this today Coach. God bless.
Why waste your time on an ex an EX is an EX for a reason .Work on yourself and your career those will never let you down
Coach Lee is the Best on TH-cam period!! 🙏🙏💯
Sir, you really helped me going through this! You speak the truth!
Thank you again 😊
Dear Coach Lee, I am so hurting ever since I stopped contacting the love of my life. All the clues indicated that He could not care any less about me and that literally shattered my self-esteem to pieces. So I decided to entirely pull back and do not contact whatsoever. It has already been a week I last saw my love and I am in tremendous agony, especially the though of him moving on with someone else easily is killing me. Yout videos are my only solace at the moment. I have been binge watching every single video as they soothe my agony a little bit.
I've actually watched this before, but I often rewatch your videos when the situation applies. And today it does for this one. I did no contact and it lasted 23 days. Yesterday she messaged me saying can I look after the cats while she goes to her home City of York to see friends and family. I agreed because I thought maybe this could be a test to see if im reliable and mature. So I got there today, but just as I set off she sent a message saying that she isn't going and I don't need to come. Because I set off and had our dog I never saw the message. So I got there and she said I told you that you didn't need to come. I said I didn't see it and asked why she didn't go. She revealed what I knew all along. And I even told her I think she's suffering from her mental health before we broke up. She's been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I didn't say that I told you so. I had you in my head, what would Lee say that would be the mature response. I simply said, oh im sorry to hear that. We chatted a little bit and even laughed together. But I left to go to a recording studio which I already had booked. When I got back things were a bit different. It was like the day I moved out. She was snappy with me and told me to take more of my things that were there. It's like we got a little bit closer when I was there before going to the studio, she asked me about seeing this other girl and I said no I didn't go through with it due because im focused on working on myself. But when I got back she seemed to flick the break up switch back on and wanted me out. While I was on my way to the studio I was thinking what to say if she tried to make out with me. I was that hopeful of a good night with her. But when I got back her make-up was off and she was in loungewear. But I think she had too much alcohol and wasn't well. The only solace was that I know I played it cool, calculated and appeared mature. I've lost weight and put on muscle and I spotted her checking me out so the eye test is still intact. I just need to regain the emotional attraction. I think my efforts tonight would certainly have helped my case. I went to get a drink before going to the studio and she followed me and stood talking to me. The attraction is there, I can feel it. Yeah, she practically kicked me out again but tonight has put doubt into her mind. I'm just concerned about her mental health. She said she had a follow-up appointment at the doctors to sort out some therapy but she turned it down saying that if she gets worse she'll do it. But I said no trust me go do it. Go see someone because she's developed a phobia of going onto trains and busses to her hometown. And I know why. It's the same reason that has sparked all of this break up off in the first place, grief of losing her two grandmas's within a year. Both times she travelled via publicl transport to see them and to their funerals. Last time we were on a bus to York she was going to her nans funeral. I was with her every step of the way. I worked nights and couldn't get the previous day off so I stayed up after my 12-hour shift to support her. I wasn't going to let her down. But that was the start to the darkest period of her life. And the fact she may not be able to have kids has sunk her into depression. I firmly believe the dark days are still here and that I am a symbol of it as I was by her side. I know that if she can break that mindset and remember our good days she'll want me back and I'll be there, she's the love of my life and my soulmate. I know im hers too. She's just blinded by anxiety, depression and grief. But alas, I shall continue to grow physically and mentally until the power of emotional attraction and love will guide us back to where we belong. Together. That was cheesy as hell I know but it's what's in my heart.
@madsharlev2581 It gets better mate. I was a mess when I was watching these. They definitely helped. I get married next month to my new fiance.
To be honest, this videos have been helping me a lot. Its teaching me a lot more than ever, specially that i havent had a father or mother figure to help me know what emotions are.
You really make our morale grow... Thanks
If that rebound relationship is more exciting than fixing the 7 years we shared , then i dont want him back 😭😭 you either want me back or you dont
Your videos have motivated me to do everything correctly, and it’s paying off. She recently went cold after some great interaction, but I was expecting that pull back. I will not reach out to her. I know she’ll reach out again, and I’ll be ready when that happens. I’ve always been her soft place to land, but I know if she feels that I’m slipping away and this concerns her, she’ll text me. No contact works, as hard as it can be. I can’t force anything, it has to be her that makes the decision, good or bad.
Genuis. I am taking advice. I messed things up.
Know better now. He is coming back!
If my ex got into a rebound relationship , my name would be removed from the hat expeditiously…. She Better be very sure of your choices … cuz there’s no back up plan 💪🏾
6 weeks post breakup, 31 days NC, I hope I can come back with a success story too 🙏🏼
Update
What happened?
he never reached out@@thebatmanwholaughs219
I laughed alot when he said it's over between me and him coz I had already watched your videos, so I didn't even beg, that hit him hard, he wondered why I didn't cry for him, he even asked me that but deep down I was laughing now am following precaution slowly
Sooo epic 😂😂😂
🤣🤣
Just what i needed to hear , i think when my ex did reach out and was wanted to try , i was trying to rush it 🤦♀️... and because i wasn’t being patient to spend time with him i pulled away thinking it possibly was a game . He did reach out several times after but nothing . Today is my 1 year anniversary of our breakup and thinking this time last year i was in tears 😭. I have no idea if he will ever reach out again but now i got more insight and this was self explanatory thanks to coach Lee ...
Go explain to him
Coach lee, thank you. You’ve been helping me get through all the pain.
Never look back ,,an ex is an ex for a reason...the old saying time is a great healer is so true and it’s only after about 6 months you realise how much you don’t need their crap in your life,,move on and learn the lessons and apply to your new relationship
Not true… I’m 1 year after the breakup and still cry every day
@@jaquelinem.3396 keep strong every day is a day closer to your closure
I hope you meet someone who will give you the perspective to realise that new happiness is out there for you
This is really good insight. I havent thought about how confused he might feel. It is difficult because I know he is unsure if we should continue the realtionship, but at the same time I know he wants to..
I havent thought about how he might feel about himself with how inconsistent he has been. The break up took over 2 months for me to finally give up and this whole process is mirroring exactly what happened a year ago. I'm just really trying to move forward with the understanding that this is how this guy handles distress in the realtionship. He shuts down completely and quickly. If I were to end up marrying him, this kind of behavior isnt just going to go away.. right?
Right. I knew someone like that as well, it's damn near impossible when they keep shutting down and shutting you out instead of communicating. Glad he's gone and moved on. He married and that didn't work out either. Lol.
Same scenario with what happened to me and my ex...now he's dating another girl...i just hope he'll find what he is looking for in life...
I am so happy I found your channel. I was going through a lot!
I love your videos! Thank you so much for clarification. I need explanations and I just realized so much when you said that its good for both to be the pursuers and both should be the prizes. Clears up so much nonsense I grew up with because it didnt fit my thoughts about it. So, its about balance.
Hate when people play these games like why does it have to be so hard… 🥺 sadly a straight person has to learn these games too for survival
I feel like if it’s this complicated your ex should stay your ex because they are not sure about themselves or you. Then when they’re okay with themselves and know what they want it would be a better time to start working on things
ex and I broke up last April. Did the NC. She reached out. I should add, she lives next door. We have been together off and on since. Not as a couple. The joke was that her and I were everything without a title. The last couple months, she has been wanting to stay in her bubble for extended periods of time. Reasons not always about me. But its becoming so frequent, I am getting used to it. Currently, I am doing NC again. We have not seen one another in 3 weeks. When she would go outside for a few minutes, she would ask me if I would join her, I would politely decline. I dont want to be used for a few minutes at a time. She knows how I feel. Plus, our phone and text conversations have had the emotion sucked out of it. I am the emotional one where she is not. She calls me out from calling her hun or if I get mushy. Then she wonders why I get moody. So here is to hoping NC works again. This Covid is not helping anything.
Coach Lee is the ultimate Katy Perry stan. Alexa, play “Hot n Cold”
My ex told me he hated me, called me a psycho bitch, blocked me on everything, then he unblocks me on fb, still being really rude to me, i just played it cool and was polite saying ok, thank you, and then he sends me a voice text telling me what he was doing and starts to text me making silly jokes and then when he was going to bed i said well have a good night he was like bye and started being cold again... Im not gonna play his games, im being nice and not trying to argue but i wont continue to let him talk to me however he wants too, if he continues i am going to just stop replying and cut it off. I am all for trying to be friends with an ex but not one who talks to me like im a dog when im being civil
Hi Coach Lee- My ex and I had a reunion over the weekend. It was wonderful and we both still have strong feelings for each other and it was romantic. As we got to talking, he mentioned that the no contact made him feel like I was pushing him away/rejecting him even though he broke up with me. He made a point that he wanted to hear from me more. Towards the end of the weekend he said he wanted to go slow with me and see how things went. When we left each other he began texting me for the rest of the day and even facetimed me (which I wasn't expecting). I was also listening to what he had to say and began texting him and trying to make it known that I was still interested and didn't want him to feel as though I was rejecting him like before. Yesterday I texted him asking how his day went and it was complete crickets. So this morning I asked him for clarification of what was going on. He told me he thinks he wants space after this weekend and how we've been having our little conversations. And that he doesn't think we can be friends without it being romantic and that it wouldn't be fair to either of us. To me it seems like he keeps struggling with his emotions for me. One day he's up and one day he's down. He initiated the reunion over the weekend and now this. I told him I would respect his decision but this really hurts and I am emotionally exhausted. I'd like to take a coaching call with you but your website says that option isn't available.
Wondering how things are..
I don't want him back after a rebound. This is all head games who wait for a person like this???
Thank you! I needed this video today. My ex boyfriend has been going back and forth. I'll do no contact, but than when he reaches out I respond. I feel so confused.
tinker, just respond short and polite. Wait for the attraction phase, and stay in no contact.
Wow...just wow...exactly what I'm dealing with from the second he started talkin....this is insane information
You’re so honest in your videos.
Why we want exes back if they don’t know what they want if they have someone else as well, if they think there are better people than us? I realized I’ll wait until I find a person that can give as I do and not wiht a narcissist
Do you think the guy your ex is seeing is saying the same thing😂it’s a recurring thing.
The channel is helpful but we need one on one coaching, please. PLEASE bring it back.
Yes PLEASE BRING IT BACK!!! I AM ALSO IMPATIENTLY WAITING AND NEEDING A COACHING CALL!
Why is it that I have to play these games?. He's the one who hurt me!. I got a call from him after 1 year of NC. I got exited but after a month he pulled back for his rebound. So now I'm back in NC for good. I don't ever want to hear from him again. He's NO GOOD. Play your childish games with somebody else. I don't care anymore.
Rebate Lewis, get away from him. He's using you and playing games. Move on and just let him go. If he keeps calling/texting, BLOCK 🚫 HIM...
My wife is currently in limerence with an old ex. My enegery has been spent being jealous, invading her space, privacy, etc. Once I became untethered to the outcome, my energy has been going into my children and having fun with them throughout the summer I feel my wife's attraction towards me but my focus is still on the process for myself and my children.
dt3947, I feel bad for you, but your wife is in for a rude awakening when the limerence wears off, AND IT WILL. Be strong, and just give it TIME. Coach Lee has a workshop which is fantastic for you.Been there-I know how tough it can be. Just wanted to give you the heads up about Coach Lee’s live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." Seriously, it's a game-changer! This workshop is all about rescuing your relationship and then keeping your relationship strong after the breakup or separation. Oh, and get this: you'll also have a coaching call every month for 6 whole months! So you won’t be going at it alone or anything. To find out more, hit up Coach Lee's team. You can schedule an appointment to discuss all the details at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. If you do, it will blow your mind and give you the support you need!
He has been doing this push pull. When he did it last time I stopped replying. Today he texted good morning how are you. I said great and told what’s going on positive in he life and how he is.
He never texted back. This Shit is ridiculous!!! Now the clock starts over coach Lee.
I should have not replied. Please do another video about this push pull thing and what to do when they reach out then disappear. I was doing great now I’m a mess!!!
Why would he text to ask how I am doing and then when I reply all positive he doesn’t text back. This feels like a game!!!
my ex broke up with me 3 times & i did everything you’ve advised. i let him pursue, stopped begging & let him call all the shots. i just let him be. we stayed friends during all of this & he was starting to regret his decision & then all of a sudden one day, he said he wants to be 100% alone & doesn’t even want to be friends anymore 🙃 & he blamed it on me for not seeming as interesting anymore ... now he’s in a rebound..
Gracie, I personally would have nothing to do with him. I would 🚫 BLOCK HIM, and go on with my life.
I don't understand men sometimes 😔 he dumps me then he offers me emotional support as "my friend" only. I reject the idea and then he later texts me saying he had a bad dream about me dying and wants to make sure I am ok. I can't talk to him and I don't know what to expect next WTH is this!? 🤬 I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster and I told the bastard I accepted his decision to leave so why come back and play around with my emotions?
I moved forward too fast when she reached out.
what happened?
@@janef4701 I moved out. She's a severe fearful avoidant. We both were. I hurt her to the core
Coach you’re the one I listen too. You’re absolutely right in everything you speak. 😘
CUT ALL CONTACT!
NEVER MESSAGE THEM AGAIN!
The only case you speak to them. Is if they are willing to Commit to you (That's if you even want them)
Thank you Coach Lee!! I've watched most of your videos. Everything you said is so true and encouraging. So I wanna buy the kits. Breaking up is a life lesson to learn and grow. So I need a good coach!!
It’s sooo frustrating that I did NC and it worked but then I blew it by being to enthusiastic. The worst part is that I had watched all of Coach Lee’s videos. I was aware of the risk of not taking it slow. I can’t believe I messed this up. Girls are too confusing man. 😅
Williamjones1,
You can always start all over again..👍
My mom is in the hospital and it doesnt look good. I just want my boyfriend back. I'm tired of playing this game with him.
I blew it with over enthusiasm. Totally blew it. So now, I blocked him, and I give up. It's done.
Coach Lee, you are the best. Cant tell you how grateful I am. Your videos are helping me to cope with the no contact rule but my ex still call me occasionally and also promise to help me paint my house but I still keep my distance by not asking him about the relationship or begging him for another chance. I love him but I have to give him his space.
My ex sent a photo of the dog a week ago , he’s 1 year old that’s it ?? I messaged her back & thanked her , asked how they are & if she would be nice meet up if she wanted ? Or just phone to talk things over , But nothing , this has been just over 2 half months , ?? She did same Christmas time but after month she reached out wanted me back she said she missed me every day & couldn’t stop thinking of me , so we got back together took things slow , talked lots , I thought we were doing good , she said she loved me missed me lots , so I’m lost with it all ? heartbroken 💔 🥲, just hope she gets back to me , who knows I’m just hoping praying 🙏 she will contact me , I love her dearly 🥲💔..I’m staying no contact & I’m thankful for these videos of coach lee help lots ..
Never thought of that. My wife left 2 weeks ago, saw her today to drop off my kid, she gave me a long tight hug and kissed my cheek, so I kissed hers. Didn't say anything but drive safe. I don't know if I missed a window to tell her I love her but I wanted to show her without saying I love you that I'll be ok with or without you....
Eric Jones id say you did the right thing
i don't know whether my ex will come back or not but your videos give me motivation to be happy and goes with the flow where the life takes me
My ex reached out after 2m NC. Chatted back and forth. She was sending paragraph texts back. We set a date for her to bring some wine over & we’d make dinner together. I end the convo to keep things on a high note. Night before the date, “hey i don’t think I should come over. I started seeing someone and just don’t think it’s a good idea. Sorry”. Me: no worries, let me know if you change your mind.
Did I do this right?
Any friend doing that doesn’t deserve a lot of space... that’s your time and chance to arrange other stuff messed up. So disrespectful. Hope you’ve gone back to NC and I wouldn’t trust her again... or at least not till she apologises. Have you heard from her?
Viv Todd trust has been lost since the breakup but it was salt on the wound. Been 5 weeks since then, haven’t heard a peep. Sucks and still hopeful/expecting for her to reach out but have been working on myself. There will be many more boundaries this go around if she comes back.
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@@tybennion1 any update as to what happened?
@@itsAuffy she reached out again three months after that. I ended the conversation saying this isn’t fair to your other guy. She didn’t respond to that. Few months after that I found out she is pregnant with the rebounds child & now odds about to have the kid. Dodged a bullet in hindsight.
The person who deserves me is stable and mature. Life is short so screw the bull. PERIOD
What if I already made this mistake by being too enthusiastic when reached out and let him come too easy and now he pulled away again? can you do a video about that?
Marina R yes that’s exactly what happened to me too
Yeah lmao i wonder the same
Same here
No contact again? Why keep doing the cycle?..I have taken mine back repeatedly! And he continues to run away with excuses rather be single saying I'm stress him out ! Not grown up or mature I need help here ! What should I do ?
you should go into NC again I guess
Leave her ...
I was told he wants to make amends at this time - confusing - push pull is right