The Narcissistic Marriage Test: The Top Ten Signs You’re Married to a narc
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ต.ค. 2023
- Monday night, October 9th, at 7:30PM EST I will be going live on my Facebook page and TH-cam channel. If you've ever wondered whether or not your spouse might be a narc, then this is the show for you!
I will also be doing a Q & A session to answer any questions you may have. - บันเทิง
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Thank you so much for ignoring the age issue and number of years. I've been with this monster for 37 years and it only gets worse. Last night I was reprimanded for eating some crackers he wanted. I absolutely am leaving though I have no where to go that I can afford. Pray God finds a way for me.
praying for us all that have nowhere to go. God is amazing and I believe my tears, fears, autoimmune diseases for 36 years have not been if ignored by God. He will do his part and we need to do ours.
Ask your friends for a place to live temporarily! You must get out , they if they love you will help you . Or family ? Kids???
Thanks. I'm working on it. It will happen. @@mariafihn6874
You find somewhere to go when they throw you out of the home with your child like mine did a week ago. After 4 years of constant threats of it he finally discarded me over some laundry
Try 41 years😢
51 1/2 yrs for me! I have a new life and it is wonderful, even as I heal.
Good for you Joy! Freedom is good. You have the right to be happy.
Left me COMPLETELY alone in Las Vegas. He went home. Left me stranded without money, credit or debit cards. Thank God for the Pit Manager at The Orleans. Gave me a room for the night. God bless him.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
You make me laugh even though I’ve been in this for 16 years with 5 kids whom he tried to turn against me. Thankfully they now see through the fog!
My daughter is in her 1st marriage w/ 5 young ones to a demon👹 in sheep's 🐑 clothing. It's heartbreaking 💔.
My marriage counselor called my husband a narcissist because he was trying to help us and my husband continued to blame me!!! I left
I’m glad you were able to get out! 🌼
My estranged husband did the same as far as not taking responsibility. He will not see his wrong after mentally and emotionally abusing me which gave me acid reflux. I couldn’t take it anymore and drove 2509 miles back to my home state. We’re in the middle of a divorce while I’m healing. He’s also blocked from all communication.
praying for us all that have nowhere to go. God is amazing and I believe my tears, fears, autoimmune diseases for 36 years have not been ignored by God. He will do his part and we need to do ours.
God will make a way for you where there seems to be no way. Stay focused on Him, God is with you and will deliver you.
13 years, left last week. It’s been hard 😢 but got a really good attorney 🙏🏻💕 of course he’s going to freak out when he finds out lol 😂
Mine doesn’t want to control the money. He wants to blame me for spending and makes himself look like he doesn’t spend any.
Mine does this same thing. It is still controlling the money though. It's just insidious. My husband Doles out hundreds of dollars a week to me, but then demands to know where every last penny is spent. And, then if he doesn't like a purchase I've made then he's got an excuse to start an argument with me! 😒 🤔 😒 🤔
Same! Says he will take over the money responsibility, but never will because if he does he can’t blame me!
Yep, same here. 😢
We've been married almost four years. Within the first week he was already being abusive to my eighteen-year-old special-needs daughter. He then moved us 4 hours away from my family and friends. It has grown increasingly worse during the four years. We have a place to go to temporarily to get out, but then what? I'm so afraid that I won't be able provide her medicines and food. He has already moved on to his next victims. He is texting and spending time with two single women at church. He has a "secret" phone. I saw it out last night and saw the texts where he meets up with them and is pulling
the same sob story with them that he pulled with me in the beginning. . I've got to get us out before it kills, or he kills, my daughter and me. He is turning people against me. Please help me.
Please let your family know just how abusive he is by telling them every detail of his abuse. Hopefully they will help anyway they can. Hopefully it will be better than being with him. Or how about contacting the authorities if your family won't help. I truly wish you luck in getting away from your abusive husband. ☘️🙏🏻💕
Do you have a women’s shelter in your area?
Thank you Dr Clarke, yes you are absolutely right, even he had a heart attack, he said to me, it’s my fault, I’m free now, I don’t have to listen to his rubbish anymore 😅
You need a t-shirt that reads:
Clarke > narc
Or:
Clarke vs. narc
😂
Groceries: he tried to take salt out of my cart and get a different size. He would disregard me on every request. The majority of the narriage, I quite shopping for groceries with him present.. i couldn't get even salt right. He walked behind me and made me so nervous.
Mine humiliated me for not using my brain for picking the smaller bag of shredded cheese over getting the larger bag of cheese. So wild! I've been divorces since February and have so much peace. Not east as he still begs for us to work. But watching videos like this helps and counseling.
"A double-minded man is UNSTABLE in ALL of his ways"
You hit home with the family part of this. Exactly what I've experienced. Thank you. I'm finally leaving after 11 years of abuse.
Yeah, his family is like the narcs family in The Burning Bed Movie.
I’m at 11. Years too and finally working on leaving .
I was married to a narc for 30 years. He is now living with his narc girlfriend. They both try to badmouth me. My daughters want nothing to do with him I am in the process of divorcing him.
Dr.David a narc is like Pharaoh.Pharaoh had a hardened heart. We need to be like Moses and listen to God and get out and follow God to the promised land full of milk and honey. Praying and focusing on God and preparing a way out. After 30 years with a controlling, cruel and manipulating narc, I finally got out. It's only been a few weeks but I feel peaceful finally. My insides aren't shaking and I'm not walking on eggshells anymore.
I’ve told my narc to leave and go and live with his mommy if she means so much to him, but he won’t. Mine also is a cycle he could go weeks without a nasty remark and then out of the blue bam.
I am Orthodox and my priest didn't blame me for divorcing 2 years in. It's been 4 years of no contact and last week a flying monkey texted me. I ignored the text.
I left my nac after 20 years. So happy, love ❤️ life
🇭🇲🙏❤
My husband recently bought a 1yr old dog to keep him company. The dog is emotionally attached to me and runs and hides when my husband comes home. Dog is afraid of my husband, but I have a new friend.
My Narcs the same way with our cat. He resents that the cat loves me and bites him.
A great target to get to you, too. There was always the threat he might hurt my dog.
My narcissist says the more he hits our sweet dogs, the more they “respect” him. They cower when he is around. Just like me actually. 😢
Is there a group online that Dr.Clarke has? I was married to a "Christian" cover Narc for 17 years. I share three children with him.
Leave ladies, please do not stay or go back. I stayed until it was almost to late for me.
I’m meeting with the priest regarding an annulment this week. I’ve been going to that Church for years. The last time the Narc was in Church was the day we got married…
I call Fraud..
You don’t need permission from a man for a divorce…The church trapped me in that for years with guilt….Just run as fast as you can
Sandy sounds like an amazing wife. Thank you for respecting and loving your wife, Dr Clark.. So inspiring and encouraging, for those who don't live in this beautiful, holy reality!❤🙏
@cathymiller6670:
I'm with you my friend 🙂
25:05 Topic introduction
26:22 Sign #1: verbal abuse
27:07 Sign #2: neglects your needs
28:04 Sign #3: refuses to communicate on a deeper level
29:08 Sign #4: any topic you bring up that makes him uncomfortable he takes as a personal attack
29:55 Sign #5: silent treatment
31:47 Sign #6: helps others (not you) to build his reputation
32:37 Sign #7: too close to his family yet will cut you off from yours
33:19 Sign #8: control
36:09 Sign #9: angry outbursts, easily triggered
36:56 Sign #10: blames spouse for everything
Dr. Clark, you are such an amazing person and I love this podcast so real so true such an education you are helping people so much thank God for you
DR CLARK U R NOW MY #1 FAN IN THE NARC VIDEO COMMUNITIES. And I’ve listened to them all.
October 9,23
Dr. Clarke, you are absolutely right on! I absolutely love your energy compassion and advice. Bless you for your hard work. You have taught me so much. God bless you.
I know I am married to a Narc & yes the abuse is daily
The narc leaving me and the kids to help his immediate family caused so much hurt and rejection, but it was a huge blessing. Years of dealing with his addiction, rinse wash repeat garbage putting me down all the time. Him being suicdal and blaming me for it. Anger and rage in front of kids. Humiliating me in public and outside, which happened later in our marriage. I was able to have him agree to giving me the house and he wouldn't have to pay child support. A lot of people said I was not smart for not getting a lawyer and getting child support. But I have a stable, safe, peaceful home for my kids now. Thank you God for delivering me from destruction. I'm now in counseling and focus on my kids and work from home for a ministry. He trys to say how we should have never gotten divorced.. I can firmly tell him, no we should have never gotten married.
I just read your book enough is enough today! Plan in action! God already opening doors!
Thanks so much to you and the “Blonde” for your support for all those seeking freedom! 😊
Absolutely agree kids need to know the truth. Tell them without vengeance in your voice, age appropriate explanation. Every single YT channel emphasizes first do not disparage the other parent first. We're so trained to feel guilty, we stop short of seeking further guidance too often.
Nearly 2 years after I finally divorced him after 17 years, our 16yo son has decided he doesn't want to be around his dad. I tell him it's his choice, followwhat he feels. (and I'll fight in court in a split second to protect his choice).
His dad is giving him the silent treatment for the first time in my son's life. I'm pretty sure my son is grateful for the reprieve ❤
Reading "Enough is Enough" now. I am financially stuck.
Create a 3 to 5 year exit plan. Keep it to yourself till the last couple months. Recruit loyal 2 people to help you exit.
Same.
Could you also talk more about the Neglectful Narcissist and the Malignant Narcissist please I think that a lot of times most counselors only focus on the overt Narcissist which leaves people that are living with these kind of people not validated it is a horrible feeling. Please make a video
Actions not words. Great advice
They really all do the same things, it's weirdly and entirely true. And they all do it while thinking themselves to be so unique and special. Crazy how that is always the case. 😂
My husband is a narc , we know he is from our counseling ) and he doesn’t care what I watch on tv or my phone. He doesn’t care what I do as long as I leave him alone and don’t try to talk about my feelings ! He wants left alone unless other ppl r around then he is very talkative !
Thank you Dr Clarke. And Happy Thanksgiving to any other Canadians
He looks like Jerry Springer😂
So happy it was only 3 years.
Be free… 🦋
DR CLARK I JUST BOUGHT YOUR 3 books.:) so excited to read them - got the 20 LIES, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND THE ONE WHERE I AM NOW I DIDNT WANT A DIVORCE
TRYING SO HARD TO HEAL FROM THIS CPTSD
❤I love the community here 👧
Yep. On our way to have our 2nd child he stopped at Burger King and ate in the parking lot for 30 minutes while I begged him not to bc I was so nauseous and in pain.
Then with our 3rd, I was having a natural delivery and couldn’t/didn’t talk much due to pain. He tells the story of what a witch I was because I “didn’t” talk to him. He says what a great guy he was and flirted with all the nurses while I laid there in pain. What a gentleman 🙄
get your kids away from this monster. praying for you sister. you deserve the love you give.
To keep it simple during put downs, insults, gaslighting or lying ... I said "having fun"?
Married 40 years to an abusive man who was so very subtle with it. I am getting out now. We started therapy and that’s is where I learned how codependent I am. It hurts so badly. But in my heart of hearts I know that I need out. Even more terribly my daughter is going through the same and left her narc too. I feel like the most dysfunctional family ever! Will I ever not be depressed ?
Great live Thank you
❤🙏🏼
omg!! you are entertaining as well as a wealth of knowledge!!!!
40years with a narc who is evry thing you have listed,still living with him .its difficult making my children see their father for who he is.am all alone in this
Now I am glad God withheld us from having kids, although He has sustained my hope. I did not understand and struggled with my infertility, but now I say PRAISE THE LORD!
I love how you make me laugh when you aren’t even trying to be funny…”it’s like narcs go to some camp- like a terrorist training camp- to learn all the ways to abuse you”😂so. Spot.on. And validating.
“Go marry your Mommy!” 😂😂😂 Soooooo relatable!
You are Amazing Dr. Good Truth and a sense of Humor.
Thankyou for this channel helped me alot
I love you doc ... You've helped me so much ... I appreciate YOU beyond words ... Love & respect you whole heart & soul 😘
I had my puppy before I got Married and as soon as I said I DO he made me give my puppy AWAY!!!!!!!
Thank you, Dr Clark! You make me laugh and cry. All true!❤
I had pneumonia and it got severe one day and I thought I was having a heart attack… I called him to come home right away… he told me I’d have to wait until he got done with work. When he finally did come home he dropped me at the ER, and reluctantly came back at 6am the next day. Complaining he had to come get me.
Dr. Clarke
Let me at it, this video series. I'm 3 months behind considering the date of this video. Lead me to the way. I love the "I'm only going to help you to leave the narc - for me it's the only way to get better and to start healing because you cannot heal being under the same roof as the no-good narcissist. Truth!
For me, 9 years and now separated.
Wow! Dr. Clarke , you wrote that book 📕 Awesome book, sir.📚👍
Greeting from South Africa 🇿🇦 Dr Clarke! Your videos has helped me sooo much. I have your books and it is helping me through this process. Been with my narc for 28 years, married for 20. Man, this is the hardest thing to be married to someone like this😢
Ohhh God says have nothing to do with the un fruitful works of darkness! He means it!!!!
We've known each other for 13 years, married for 8 and he filed for divorce right after our anniversary and wants to leave me and our son with nothing. 😮💨 I'm glad he filed and has moved on to the next I just wish he'd leave the home. He's still here and it's like torture.
You’re lucky it was only 13 years! Mine has been 26 years of deceit’!!!!
R U Ok? Are you free yet?
@@Cosmicoo82me too
O God thank You for these videos. For the first time everything makes sense.
These are all my husband's behavior, I am soooo shocked, extremely shocked, I have never had someone describing him like this, I didn't know there's a term for this behavior, it's been 23 years and I am sooo tired, I can't take it anymore....
You will stay tired if you don't find a way out. It doesn't get better. And at 23 years of it, let me tell you that as you age it will get worse. If you have health problems he will NOT be there for you. When he has health problems he will WEAR YOU OUT with demands for pampering. That's who they are. Please escape now while you're still (I hope) healthy. Or at least as healthy as a 23 victim of a demon can be.
My narc had our counselor convinced it was all my fault 😢
Awesome thank you, everything you say is what I've gone thru but last 2.5 year's I've gone no contact and he's gotten so mad that he flung side tables and broke the window glasses and the rest of the furniture. I'm married for 30 years but now I'm seeing a lawyer. Even their occasional sex is very demonic and evil. I'm so glad I'm out of it.
The one and only time my now ex narc was physically abusive was maybe a month into the marriage.. he pushed me in the hall making it seem like he was joking/playing. He shoulda known better!
I ask him if he was sure he wanted to do that? So, he pushed me again. I'm super strong for my size and he found out the hard way. I pushed him back he landed in the floor. He's never touched me since.
He reminded me he knows military training.. well, you better know something because I know ghetto and I will beat you down if you ever touch me again. He never did.
He bullied all the women he had before me. I don't play that.
However, then he started his covert narc mind games..
I saw where this was going and took precautions...ie recordings, pictures..etc..now he's glad I'm gone..he went back to his exwife. He was caught by myself and the hospice nurse standing butt naked by his 95 yr old mom's bed.. disgusting!
And yes I reported him to the authorities.
While we were still legally married, he took his ex-wife to his mother's bank to withdraw A LOT of money, as he illegally obtained a power of attorney. His mother was left with a sitter hours before she died while he was out spending her money. With his ex-wife, of course
He also took his ex-wife to her funeral!
He never told me his mother had passed. 30 days later, I found out in court!
23 years.. of narc land.. I got divorced 6 yrs ago. I've paid for it too. Our 18 year old daughter he played her the pawn. An only child as we are also only children. He planted seeds forever about me. Like I'm the weak link. I've watched history repeat it self. His father did the same thing to his mother. And yes a porn addicted. Like he told me all men watch and sneak.
Yes, his mom is a narc and they are very close.
30 yrs here too..😢
Mine always trapped me when I was in the shower.
Mine too! I only shower now when he is gone. And I do it quickly. Creep.
My husband watched this with me and he admitted that he does show some of these signs but that he doesn't know how to show the kids love
Oh wow.. i told my husband over and over he should of married his mommy over the years.. cause i never got any intimacy.. ever.. he isn't controlling just the opposite. He said he is waiting on God to love me. He lied to me he was a christian to marry me. I am literally his mommy.
Thank you for saying CODA
You are so accurate…and you have me laughing!!
13:23-13:36!!!!!!!! Thank you for speaking the truth that no one else sees!
I stopped crying and I stopped talking to him. …. Is has been 44 years
Car breaks down:
Figure it out.
So, what do you want me to do about it?
What a jerk!
I am completely heartbroken. My husband criticizes me and I have always thought he’s a narcissist lacks such empathy. I have chest pain been on medication Prozac have depression health issues. He will be nice then not. The nit picking I just hate him now I feel like I’m going to die of a broken heart. He won’t say he loves me anymore and rejects me and I just isolate and lay in bed and feel so depressed.
Yes he started the silent treatment and he didn’t realize that I was better at it than he was, my stepfather was a narcissist and he would give us the silent treatment so when my narcissist husband started it I was one happy camper, it’s been over ten years and I’m still not talking, he makes sure he comes home 🏡 late because he can’t STAND the quietness but I love 💕 it 😂😂😂😂😂
You ate right about their behavior. .
Thank you! 🙏🏻❤️
Can you do a video on the alcoholic narc? My husband is a alcoholic and seems to have some narc tendencys without a doubt
My "husband" texted me this morning asking me to please forgive him. "Please forgive me for yelling at you yesterday morning. 'You are so blind.' Yes I am. Thank you for your companionship with me .' "
I didn't even remember the incident. Which one? He does all kinds of numbers. I can't even keep up. I can't even name each one. Not in one sitting. 😮 And he has all kinds of ways of relating to me. Most of the ways feel SO WRONG. Andvim really notbintonhis "joking" attitude about my character. He used to say i had idiosyncrasies. He tells me what i need to do as I'm doing it or am in the process to get there in my long sequence of all the things I'm doing to wrap up the several things and steps I'm doing. He doesn't have a quiet way. He says things like that in a sudden urgent worried anxious (his favorite trigger) warning way. As if daily i never ever graduated from being incompetent, the incompetent child.
I told my kids the truth about their narc dad. I had a protective order because he threatened ti kill me and his kids. Now they are grown and he is still manipulating them and brainwashing them to where they think I made it all up and now I’m the bad guy😢
Just bought my second book on Amazon 😊
Unless I missed it, I didn’t hear him mention lack of empathy.
Been putting up with my narc for 22 yrs. 2 yrs ago he told me before we were married and over the last 20 yrs hes been going to Massage Parlors, paying for prostitutes, transvestites, escorts. Then 6 months later told me he slept with my best friend twice and our babysitter in our basement. I told him what i would put up with for me to stay. He played the victim and said he was a sex and porn addict. Its been over 2 yrs and hes still abusive to me, blames me for everything, has a christian counselor not a sex addiction therapist, does not go to meetings or anything to help himself. Just tells me its in the past and i need to forgive. He tells me im a miserable person!
This guy has SOME NERVE.
ANY woman would be 100% miserable married to a guy like THAT.
Maybe if he changed his ways YOU would be a lot happier!
It’s so bizarre how Narcs create the situation and then COMPLAIN about the results of what THEY did.
In addition, he is demanding forgiveness??
I would ask HIM if he would forgive you if you had sex with the gardener AND your Husband’s Friend and paid for Male Hookers out of the family fund!!!
This is shocking and 100% totally and completely unacceptable.
I hid broccoli in the spaghetti. He blew up when he found out.
My wife is a narcissistic, we have been to two different marriage counselors. One of them actually saw through my wife's games and reached out to be after the session and told me she believes my wife is a narcissistic. I do shut down after a while which she says I'm giving her the silent treatment, which I guess I am...but only to have peace
How can I buy your books ?
for that in my country (Malta) there is no delivery
The always helping others and never you - I call that the Messiah Complex - they just do it for Admiration, Attention and Self worship.
My husband of only 1 1/2 years is 9 out of 10. I am currently on a personal 4 day retreat to decide what to do about our marriage.
When our kids were little he would blame me that “ mom can’t get up early so we can go anywhere “! Blamed me. The reason why “Mom “ didn’t get up and go do things as a family is one , He would make it a horrible time w controlling or just being difficult. I cannot explain him like mentally he would abuse me. Like tormenting thing. For years he said that making me the blame in their eyes. Even though of course I could get up early- I had babies, I had a long life before we got together! I just couldn’t stand being with him out in public bc of the many incidents that I told no one about out of respect for him as my husband. I kept it inside. The tirades bc one thing happens that upsets his plan and he’d go stupid ballistic on me.
When my daughter got to the age that she started telling me stuff about his behavior it was like “ oh my gosh I’m not going crazy! “ and unfortunately I told her things as in validating her thoughts. Agreeing w her and telling her of my experiences w her father and so she assumed that i was leaving after that. But i didn’t and then it came back to me that my mother had done the exact same thing! Is blocked it out but I lost trust in my mom just as my daughter said she did me. Bc I didn’t leave - I gave her the impression I was. But I had no way to. I hadn’t worked out of home for 20 yrs. No family to go to for support. Anyhow that was 3 yrs ago? Now she hates men but seems to adore him. Hes always been Jekyll and Hyde. Idk. It seems like sometimes it will get nice for awhile and then boom- jerk comes back. Never had real intimacy.
Does this ring a bell for anyone? I pray for the Lord that work in this and He has given me his grace and mercy. We just don’t have similar interests . He’s never really supported mine anyway. I’ve had to teach him how to be a husband. For yrs I got the poor me and still do whenever I try to deal w issues. “ oh yeah it’s always me that’s wrong “ that’s what get- a middle schooler mentality. He’s an addict clean but not working a recovery. That’s where he stopped growing emotionally-in middle school when he started drugs
PS God gave me many red flags prior to marriage. That has been my thorn in flesh bc I wasn’t quite in my right mind either, barely sober and clean. I really wanted children-family. I know now that’s not a good reason to marry. With every new thing I thought “ this will make it better “ one child. My son who I adored and still do but he would mimic me with my baby talk to him and he would go off on him also w anger tirades once rt before we had pictures taken together as a young family! He was 2 maybe? Being a 2 yr old. But hubby yells at him in store and other times. It killed me. Now I believe he was jealous of our own son. The attention I gave him. Sickening
Mine has no physical abuse issues, but this post resonates on many counts, the can’t go out with him because of public embarrassment, the switch from Jekyll to Hyde, false accusations, trying to validate daughter and then not doing something about issues.. (due to learned helplessness , I think )gone thru these. What about when you or kids fall sick, brings out the monster in my narc.
I’ve been 36 years with my husband ,, enough is enough I’m leaving him
36 also and I left 7 years ago
I have a follow up Dr's appointment on Friday
And just as you said Dr Clarke , these are unexplained diseases in my otherwise healthy body
And when you said the part about a drs visit " oh stress? Im married to a narc" is what we should simply say...
That sooooo resonated with me
I think I should just tell my Dr that
Cos how else can I explain this crazy "phenomenon"
I never used to take as much as a head ache pill. Now I live off painkillers
And I didn't know until March of this year, 2023, that I was married to a narc
And Ive been subscribing to every informative channel, since then
And it has changed my life❤
Still planning my exit though. Doing it afraid
Hoping to be outta here by end December 2023 God willing
So much to loose... but I'm Trusting my heavenly for His will to be done
In Jesus name
Amen
Thank you, Dr. Clarke! What do you do when you have a place to go (we own a rental house in addition to the house we live in and I want to ask the renters to move (I have to give them 90 days notice) so I can move in. I'm afraid my husband will stalk me. I am afraid to notify the renters that I need them to move out because they will mention my request to my husband. I feel so trapped!
File for a restraining order
I left after my kids grew up. 30 years
I have a habit if I am upset I don't talk and ignore the person does that make me also narcissistic?