Jason: *pops out of broom closet* I thought you would never ask! Alfred: How long were you there for? Jason: 2 hours Alfred: Is that the cookie jar? Jason *with crumbs on his face*: no
It was from real war where men are dying and killing beside each other. Being an angel of death with a name that’s a also funny is top tier sign of respect for when who’s humor has darkened.
in most continuities he is ex SAS The idea he woulden't kill criminals when he hasen't gotten to flex his skills in years and his whole job before butler is kill large groups quietly is kinda a no brainer outcome that the rogues were gonna get shot somewhere.
Well, considering joker, penguin, and riddler are either fatally shoot, in the emergency room, or buried 6 feet under, I would say your friend was on to something.
And then DC offed him. . . and also Fabian is a spoiled brat who needs to get Jason Todded. I wonder if Alfred is still dead. . . I haven't paid attention in forever. But what they did to him in the Injustice universe. . . He deserved a better class of villain to take him out. Like Darkseid. Or the Antimonitor. . . Someone closer to his own power level.
@@BalenVanHalen001 so no shit Alfred has *actually* put lead in the Joker during a break in. He's also taken shots at Riddler & Two-faceduring separate attacks on the manor. He *really* does have loaded shotguns hidden throughout the manor and has zero qualms about using them. Which is why I hate the "Death of Alfred" storyline. When you lock yourself in building with an ex SAS commando who's helped train two generations of bat-family and sleeps with a loaded 12 gauge and a scary satisfaction at performing his tasks well, YOU'RE the one in danger. You're locked in a predator's *den* WITH the predator. God help you if there's a kid in there. He'll assume your after them and they can't "heel" him...
"You're a hulking mass of muscle trained in countless martial arts, some which don't even have names yet, but I'm a frail old man and need something to protect myself with."
As Alfred has said in the comic runs- HE has taken no such oath not to kill. If he could he would make the Joker eat a 12 gauge to give Bruce the peace
Joker, Victor Zsasz, Bane, Carmine Falcone, the Penguin, Rupert Thorne, and Black Mask were never seen again. The rest of the rogues gallery turned themselves in and promised to stay in Arkham for good. They genuinely rehabilitated themselves rather than face the butler again.
haha its like that starwars episode where rex and obi-wan are on that slave planet and one of the badguys dares obi-wan to kill him knowing full well Jedi aren't really supposed to do that. then Rex fucking shoots him cuz hes not a jedi
You know damn well that Alfred called Jason and was like hey batman's out of Gotham at the moment want to join me in payback on the criminals and also I know how you despise batman's no kill rule but I don't have that rule under my vocabulary my rule is shoot first ask questions later and you know Jason jumped at the chance to get some payback on the joker for what happened to him and I kind of want to see how it would go if Alfred and Jason were to fight Ra's al ghul and Talia al ghul and honestly I could see batman's terror child Damien showing up and asking Alfred and Jason why didn't they invite him to the party 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Personally I like to think that Aflred still kept to the no-unalive request, but in the Shepherd Book way. "Don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about ********?" "Quite specific. It is however much fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."
"I hope you don't mind, Master Bruce, but I called on a few old butler friends for assistence." *opens door for Sebastian Michaelis and Walter C. Dornaez*
This is actually in a comic. A guy breaks into Wayne Mannor to kill Bruce and Alfred just straight up kills him with a gun. And when Bruce tries to chastise him bout having guns in his house Alfred says you might get some but you'll never get all the guns in the house sir. XD
Alfred: "Hello. I am Alfred T. C. Pennyworth. Retired Captain of His Majesty's Special Air Service and butler to the Wayne family. I answer the door, I clean up the estate..." **pumps shotgun** "...and I take out the trash."
Batman: 'You shot them? All of them?' Alfred: 'Indeed, sir.' Batman: 'That's not how we do things, Alfred!' Alfred: 'Begging your pardon, sir, but you only told me not to kill anyone. You never said anything about not shooting them.' Batman: 'So they're all still alive?' Alfred: 'Quite so, sir. Very much alive, indeed. Perhaps a bit lacking in the extremities department, but they are still breathing. You'd be surprised how much damage a person can live through. Gotham should be quite safe for a while now, sir. If you'll excuse me, it's laundry day.' Batman: '... I should have done this years ago!'
"My apology, master bruce. About your "we don't kill" policy. That's how YOU do thing. I never said I approve of it and you asked for my help. Now, let discuss the vacation shall we. i heard marakesh is nice this time of year. Perhaps, I shall invite ms selina kyle to accompany you, wouldn't you agree, Sir?"
remember alfred once said ''perhaps you grew accustomed to my masters no kill policy, be assured i subscribe to no such niceties'' dude is fully willing to kill and makes it very clear, plus alfred keeps meny guns around wayne manner, bruce finds them and keeps throwing them out but alfred told him he'll never find them all and, if i remember correctly, stated ''it was a man that night that killed my friends master wayne, not a gun''
The Riddler? Lost his lower jaw, no more riddles. The Joker? Paralyzed from the neck down, no more shenanigans. Bane? Paraplegic. The Penguin? He's on a smoothie diet now, just like a baby bird. Clayface? 100 separate ziploc bags. Killer Croc? Taxidermied. Might have gone too far on that one.
To be fair, the majority of the problem can be laid at the gotham justice department's feet. Somehow, despite being "the most corrupt policeforce in the nation", they do remarkably little death row executions or usage of excessive police force with guns. really boggles the mind. You'd think Joker would have been shot on the first week because "he was going reaching for my gun!" while in a room with no cameras and him tied to a chair.
Let's be real here, guys! As much as we love Batman, we KNOW this indisputable truth: IF and WHEN Alfred was put in charge of ridding Gotham of its trash, Alfred WOULD MAKE IT SPOTLESS in less than three days, depending on how much ammo he has.
"They aren't dead Master Bruce." "How did you shoot them and not kill them?" "I put a bullet into each of their ball socket joints. They'll never move on their own again." ... "To be honest Alfred, that might be worse"
Batman has that rule because he knows he's mentally unstable, and one kill would push him over the edge, he doesn't do it out of morality. Alfred doesn't have that issue.
Depends on what era of Batman were taking about. For a long time, he was former SOE or MI-6 and a stage actor before taking up family business of butlering at the behest of his dying father. More modern versions of Alfred have him as retired SAS or a former Royal Marine Commando.
the funniest part is, it is very much alluded to that Alfred DOES NOT share Batman's no-kill policy. so he would in fact, drop every single villain with every available resource in the armory lol. so I would absolutely believe this to be canon even though its clearly not lol.
most people who have only seen Batman the animated series and haven't really dove into Alfred. they don't realize that he was John wick before. John wick was a thing. You don't want to come to the Wayne Mansion. he has guns.... lots of guns
As soon as Bruce is out of ear shot:
Alfred dials phone: "Master Jason, would you like to join me in avenging you?"
Jason: *pops out of broom closet* I thought you would never ask!
Alfred: How long were you there for?
Jason: 2 hours
Alfred: Is that the cookie jar?
Jason *with crumbs on his face*: no
@@pamtheman5748Damian: Surely you both weren’t about to start without me
All of you
Are amazing
@@wgs5643Alfred:If you were in bed we were but seeing how you are not grab your sword.
@@dakotamuich4108 Damian: Which one? The one the one that’s quick and painless or the one that lets them suffer
"There are guns hidden all over the mansion. You'll never find them all."
Remember. Bats said “we” as in Batman and Robin. Alfred doesn’t have those qualms
Alfred is former Special Ops as well
He was telling Afred not to do it in their costumes. It would confuse people.
"We don't kill."
"Right, sir, you don't."
Dealing with Alfred 'Double-Pump' Pennyworth isn't even a death wish, it's death promise.
Wasn't Alfred 'Double-Tap' Pennyworth?
that is the Worst nickname to put to someone.
@@luistigre8011 Alliteration
It was from real war where men are dying and killing beside each other. Being an angel of death with a name that’s a also funny is top tier sign of respect for when who’s humor has darkened.
Killer croc never stood a chance. Alfred is British.
In his culture killer Croc is just American for "Big game"
Alfred was an ex-special forces soldier. Telling him ‘hold the fort’ means he would act decisively if there were issues
in most continuities he is ex SAS The idea he woulden't kill criminals when he hasen't gotten to flex his skills in years and his whole job before butler is kill large groups quietly is kinda a no brainer outcome that the rogues were gonna get shot somewhere.
“That chap with the smile” so much disrespect toward the joker, can’t even bother to say his name
Let me guess, Jason was his "Robin".
A friend once told me “Alfred is the master of the dc universe and he just lets everyone live in it”
Well, considering joker, penguin, and riddler are either fatally shoot, in the emergency room, or buried 6 feet under, I would say your friend was on to something.
@@BalenVanHalen001 he most certainly was
And then DC offed him. . . and also Fabian is a spoiled brat who needs to get Jason Todded. I wonder if Alfred is still dead. . . I haven't paid attention in forever.
But what they did to him in the Injustice universe. . . He deserved a better class of villain to take him out. Like Darkseid. Or the Antimonitor. . . Someone closer to his own power level.
@@BalenVanHalen001 so no shit Alfred has *actually* put lead in the Joker during a break in.
He's also taken shots at Riddler & Two-faceduring separate attacks on the manor.
He *really* does have loaded shotguns hidden throughout the manor and has zero qualms about using them.
Which is why I hate the "Death of Alfred" storyline. When you lock yourself in building with an ex SAS commando who's helped train two generations of bat-family and sleeps with a loaded 12 gauge and a scary satisfaction at performing his tasks well, YOU'RE the one in danger.
You're locked in a predator's *den* WITH the predator. God help you if there's a kid in there. He'll assume your after them and they can't "heel" him...
"Wonna rob a bank?"
"Wonna be castrated with a shotgun by the Butler? No thank you."
The true crime deterrent lol
"You're a hulking mass of muscle trained in countless martial arts, some which don't even have names yet, but I'm a frail old man and need something to protect myself with."
alfred out here fist bumping with red hood , when he pulls the boomstick in the bad neiborhood
Bats: Alfred, we don't kill!
Afred: No, Master Bruce. YOU don't kill.
Alfred: Perhaps you relied on my master's vow against using lethal force (loads shotgun) Let me assure you I subscribe to no such niceties.
Too bad Alfred died like a bitch in injustice
(Proceeds to shoot a Yautja in the face)
As Alfred has said in the comic runs- HE has taken no such oath not to kill. If he could he would make the Joker eat a 12 gauge to give Bruce the peace
Its a common recurrring dream of killing the joker if I'm remembering correctly.
"What am i going yo do with you Alfred?" "I would like tea. A farm of it. A tea farm. For my own blend."
Joker, Victor Zsasz, Bane, Carmine Falcone, the Penguin, Rupert Thorne, and Black Mask were never seen again.
The rest of the rogues gallery turned themselves in and promised to stay in Arkham for good. They genuinely rehabilitated themselves rather than face the butler again.
Batman is procrastinating. Meanwhile, Alfred is a proactive cleaner!
haha its like that starwars episode where rex and obi-wan are on that slave planet and one of the badguys dares obi-wan to kill him knowing full well Jedi aren't really supposed to do that. then Rex fucking shoots him cuz hes not a jedi
You know damn well that Alfred called Jason and was like hey batman's out of Gotham at the moment want to join me in payback on the criminals and also I know how you despise batman's no kill rule but I don't have that rule under my vocabulary my rule is shoot first ask questions later and you know Jason jumped at the chance to get some payback on the joker for what happened to him and I kind of want to see how it would go if Alfred and Jason were to fight Ra's al ghul and Talia al ghul and honestly I could see batman's terror child Damien showing up and asking Alfred and Jason why didn't they invite him to the party 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Alfred: "Who knows the evil that lurks in the heart of man? The Shadow knows."
Alfred: I won't kill them, but I can't speak for the blood loss.
Personally I like to think that Aflred still kept to the no-unalive request, but in the Shepherd Book way.
"Don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about ********?"
"Quite specific. It is however much fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."
"I hope you don't mind, Master Bruce, but I called on a few old butler friends for assistence."
*opens door for Sebastian Michaelis and Walter C. Dornaez*
Integra:Alucard!!!
Alucard:what! I was literally just watching adventure time!
Integra:sorry force of habit. Walter!
Seras: Walter just went on holiday to Gotham ma’am, he said something about ‘helping an old friend with some pest control?’
Okay but WALTER in the mix is just pure overkill, you know that right?
@@i_am_jarvistm7220nah, gotta have him to make sure the villains don’t pull some occult BS and revive
@@eslin2845Ghoul would definitely be interesting.
Technically if the bullet only rendered them fully paralyzed he’s not really leaving them in anything Bruce wouldn’t do with his bare hands
This is actually in a comic. A guy breaks into Wayne Mannor to kill Bruce and Alfred just straight up kills him with a gun. And when Bruce tries to chastise him bout having guns in his house Alfred says you might get some but you'll never get all the guns in the house sir. XD
Alfred: "Hello. I am Alfred T. C. Pennyworth. Retired Captain of His Majesty's Special Air Service and butler to the Wayne family. I answer the door, I clean up the estate..." **pumps shotgun** "...and I take out the trash."
Somebody almost quoted Hellsing Abridged...
Yes Alfred's Liberty bullets
I prefer the term "liberty seeds." It's an odd crop with peculiar fertilizer needs, but the fruits are unmatched.
Remember: Alfred is an ex-SAS.
Hey, Alfred never said that they were dead. They’re just in the hospital getting some much needed rest.
"Bottom floor of the hospital, nice and quiet."
"Isn't that the morgue?"
"Details, Master Bruce. Details."
"I said no killing, Alfred!"
"...And I didn't kill any of them. Have you by any chance seen the second Terminator movie, Bruce?"
I mean he did take care of Gotham, good job Alfred! :D
Nightwing: I told you. Alfred’s a total bad ass!
Batman: 'You shot them? All of them?'
Alfred: 'Indeed, sir.'
Batman: 'That's not how we do things, Alfred!'
Alfred: 'Begging your pardon, sir, but you only told me not to kill anyone. You never said anything about not shooting them.'
Batman: 'So they're all still alive?'
Alfred: 'Quite so, sir. Very much alive, indeed. Perhaps a bit lacking in the extremities department, but they are still breathing. You'd be surprised how much damage a person can live through. Gotham should be quite safe for a while now, sir. If you'll excuse me, it's laundry day.'
Batman: '... I should have done this years ago!'
Based
Never. Anger. The. Butler.
Not gonna lie, if I was Batman, I would say thank you and give up being Batman. Alfred with a shotgun is considered a Superman level theeat
Alfred "Double tap" Pennyworth
Makes perfect sense when you know Alfred's background
He did say he would put the villains on ice
Alfred has no problem with killing. He is tougher than nails too.
Batman works hard, Alfred works smart!
"My apology, master bruce. About your "we don't kill" policy. That's how YOU do thing. I never said I approve of it and you asked for my help. Now, let discuss the vacation shall we. i heard marakesh is nice this time of year. Perhaps, I shall invite ms selina kyle to accompany you, wouldn't you agree, Sir?"
Oh s***, she might be dead.
@@oddguy5356 I don't think she would be dead I think she would be helping him
@ingamingpc1634 Yeah, actually, that's a very good possibility there that Alfred likely knows about the relationship between catwomen and batman.
No but this is exactly what Alfred would do if he was just slightly less chill.
Batman has very specific rules about killing. He is, however, somewhat fuzzy on the subject of kneecaps.
Bruce stands on Justice..........Alfred stands on BUSINESS!
remember alfred once said ''perhaps you grew accustomed to my masters no kill policy, be assured i subscribe to no such niceties''
dude is fully willing to kill and makes it very clear, plus alfred keeps meny guns around wayne manner, bruce finds them and keeps throwing them out but alfred told him he'll never find them all and, if i remember correctly, stated ''it was a man that night that killed my friends master wayne, not a gun''
Some how I think this is EXACTLY what would happen.
I mean penny-one didnt say he killed them, just shot them, maybe all of them are now paralyzed for good?
So bane bullets
@@autophreaktrishield hmm maybe? Cool name tho
The Riddler? Lost his lower jaw, no more riddles.
The Joker? Paralyzed from the neck down, no more shenanigans.
Bane? Paraplegic.
The Penguin? He's on a smoothie diet now, just like a baby bird.
Clayface? 100 separate ziploc bags.
Killer Croc? Taxidermied. Might have gone too far on that one.
To be fair, the majority of the problem can be laid at the gotham justice department's feet.
Somehow, despite being "the most corrupt policeforce in the nation", they do remarkably little death row executions or usage of excessive police force with guns. really boggles the mind. You'd think Joker would have been shot on the first week because "he was going reaching for my gun!" while in a room with no cameras and him tied to a chair.
In the comics, Gotham is apparently straight-up cursed to be a city horribly corrupt and crime-ridden.
Let's be real here, guys! As much as we love Batman, we KNOW this indisputable truth: IF and WHEN Alfred was put in charge of ridding Gotham of its trash, Alfred WOULD MAKE IT SPOTLESS in less than three days, depending on how much ammo he has.
😂 you know the second batman was gone. The sound of gunfire started 😂 its all fun and games but when batman is away Gotham is silent as the grave.😂
Alfred proving that his Jasons grandfather
Perhaps a thank you. 😂😂 Priceless
"They aren't dead Master Bruce."
"How did you shoot them and not kill them?"
"I put a bullet into each of their ball socket joints. They'll never move on their own again."
...
"To be honest Alfred, that might be worse"
Lore accurate Alfred
Remember Alfred kneecaps are a privilege.
Well kneecapping won’t kill them but it’ll keep them from walking.
I wouldn't bet on that thank you, Alfred.
Batman has that rule because he knows he's mentally unstable, and one kill would push him over the edge, he doesn't do it out of morality. Alfred doesn't have that issue.
Alfred is a gangster
Don't worry, they're alive! Just paralyzed
Note that Alfred never confirms if the goons he shot are dead or alive, so joker is probably paralised in the asylum.
Thank your dad Bruce. Jesus.
Wasn‘t Alfred in the SAS at some point?
Depends on what era of Batman were taking about. For a long time, he was former SOE or MI-6 and a stage actor before taking up family business of butlering at the behest of his dying father. More modern versions of Alfred have him as retired SAS or a former Royal Marine Commando.
Hes a butler he takes out the trash with the broom
His "broomstick", specifically.
Yeah, Alfred ‘s the business! 😂
Batman said no killing, never said no kneecaps
This is the perfect superhero parody, lmao.
Knowing dc writers, this would make things worse somehow.
Alfred did indeed hold the fort.
Like Rorke's Drift.
I'm actually surprised Alfred hasn't taken out at least the joker before now, just for all the pain he's caused Bruce and his fa,m
Jason: *sniff* I've never been so proud...
It's the Freakin' Butler!
I mean, he was a Britt marine....
Alfred is ex SAS. What did you expect, really?
Alfred is the og.
Best use of get the stap
the funniest part is, it is very much alluded to that Alfred DOES NOT share Batman's no-kill policy. so he would in fact, drop every single villain with every available resource in the armory lol. so I would absolutely believe this to be canon even though its clearly not lol.
OK but, shooting someone won't kill them unless you point somewhere important, so he did what Batman asked
most people who have only seen Batman the animated series and haven't really dove into Alfred. they don't realize that he was John wick before. John wick was a thing. You don't want to come to the Wayne Mansion. he has guns.... lots of guns
Ths has to be in the next joker movie
Nah. Not as good as the other guy
I'm just saying.....
☕😉👍
First
Get the strap!
Perhaps
🫠
That was splendid