Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success | Louise Evans | TEDxGenova

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ม.ค. 2017
  • This speech is a call to action. We spend about eighty percent of our day at work, the rest is at home. If we have a bad day at work we are likely to take that negativity home with us and vice versa. It is of paramount importance that we create healthy environments in the spaces that most affect our lives by giving of our best and receiving the like in return. The 5 Chairs is a powerful and systematic method which helps us master our own behaviours and manage the behaviours of others. To be a good leader is to contribute to the success and happiness of everyone, at work and at home, on a conscious level. The 5 Chairs offer 5 Choices. Which will you choose?
    Behavioral Coach, Corporate Trainer, Author of ‘5 Chairs 5 Choices’. Louise Evans heads up her own organization in Florence, Italy from which she offers international leadership development, cross-cultural transitional coaching and personal development programmes for individuals and teams working in international contexts. She is English but has lived and worked in Germany, France and for the last 30 years in Italy.
    Three things have always been important in her life - people, travel and the performing arts - all three of which she combines in her daily work. Having travelled to seven-five countries and experienced culture shock three times, Louise brings multiple perspectives to the present moment to help people connect across their differences. Louise believes deeply in people’s ability to grow and transform. What she values most is helping people strengthen their self-awareness and their understanding of others so that they bring their best selves into the world in every situation.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 4.5K

  • @louiseevans3534
    @louiseevans3534 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9391

    Thank you all so much for your appreciative comments. It really warms my heart deeply.

    • @rozzieonodera1560
      @rozzieonodera1560 6 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      Louise Evans .....So beautifully explained. You are one of the most articulate teachers I have ever listened to!

    • @lauransengiyumva5524
      @lauransengiyumva5524 6 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      The colors match exactly the chakras philosphy... blue:expression,words , yellow: self-esteem, etc... wonderful...

    • @winterbaby9208
      @winterbaby9208 6 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      I absolutely loved your presentation. The content, the pace and the clarity of your speech and ideas. While listening I was thinking if I put a comment would Louise see it? And then I found you! Thank you 🙏🏻

    • @gemelse2674
      @gemelse2674 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Louise Evans thank you I have just listened to this before work you are a great teacher. I am on a journey myself learning how to do things differently in life and a big one for me is being aware of how I behave and realising I can change that. Thank you x

    • @simojandie2904
      @simojandie2904 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      You're quite unique. Every TED Talk is great. But there is something particularly ingenious about yours. I will study this talk and teach it someday.

  • @sabrinacalabrese3410
    @sabrinacalabrese3410 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1483

    "Do you want to be in a relationship with that person or do you want to be right?", very powerful question!

    • @LifewithNono
      @LifewithNono ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@wingit7335 well her mom was not does people.

    • @tylerdurden7764
      @tylerdurden7764 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are gonna regret that

    • @Salsero12
      @Salsero12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@wingit7335 her mom exaggerating is not a big deal

    • @terriepehrson3103
      @terriepehrson3103 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know, right!! Well put. 👍😃

    • @Michelle721014
      @Michelle721014 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I want to be right. I have self love which is doing the right thing despite how hard it is.

  • @fredjones554
    @fredjones554 2 ปีที่แล้ว +136

    Attack - Judgement of others, correct others
    Self doubt - Judgement of ourselves, play the victim
    Wait - for evidence, be present, curiosity
    Detect - My needs, self aware, create boundaries, assertiveness
    Connect - The others needs, compassion, understanding, empathy

  • @RamnathDixit
    @RamnathDixit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +586

    Arguably one of the finest TED talks one could experience. Louise Evans subtly manages to make us reflect while helping us navigate the complex world of interpersonal communication. Simply outstanding!

    • @shewayneshbeyens0168
      @shewayneshbeyens0168 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you for your amazing in saying very interesting
      👌👌👌👌

    • @navoditashrivastava6469
      @navoditashrivastava6469 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      True

    • @ebrelus7687
      @ebrelus7687 ปีที่แล้ว

      Subtle world of lack of any communication and not knowing own children...

  • @louiseevans3534
    @louiseevans3534 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3515

    I am so grateful to all for you for your feedback. It makes me feel both humble and useful knowing that the Chairs can in some way bring a shift into your lives and contribute to your happiness. Thank you s much for your appreciation Louise xxx

    • @astoryofafrica
      @astoryofafrica 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Such a beautiful talk. I would like use this for myself as well as communicate this through film. You are a lady to look up to. I would be honored to meet you come visit Kenya, Africa and watch the giraffes! Will watch this video twice right now, and many times in the future.

    • @mogulmade
      @mogulmade 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @louise do you have books?

    • @kijalaful
      @kijalaful 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Thanks Louise, I have this morning used a stinging judgemental comment on my sister and afterwards as I watched this presentation, I saw how terrible I can be to others. I know I can be a better person and I will work on it. Thanks you so much for impacting my life!

    • @kh-ze5ub
      @kh-ze5ub 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I wish I had your chairs with me at all times.

    • @sleeepchen5630
      @sleeepchen5630 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Thank you for sharing this! You have made something which seems so complicated crystal clear. I'm really moved and touched by what you said.Thank you!

  • @Krystal620
    @Krystal620 3 ปีที่แล้ว +728

    “The more we judge others the less time we have to love them..” brilliant

    • @deehope9477
      @deehope9477 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol said comment!!

    • @musiclava9621
      @musiclava9621 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I believe Mother Theresa said thatxoxo

    • @kingquinn3897
      @kingquinn3897 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      "The more we judge others the safer we are".

  • @sincerelym11
    @sincerelym11 ปีที่แล้ว +294

    Oh I wished I would’ve found this earlier, I’ve messed up so many opportunities by overreacting 🙄. I’m definitely learning, thank you, this was extremely helpful.

    • @gabrielthewarrior7144
      @gabrielthewarrior7144 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I literally mess up all my conversations with my girlfriend because of how I am and it makes her feel less in love with me because of my actions and this like really is an eye opener for me on my actions my attitude and how I communicate with her

    • @amandlakhumalo4728
      @amandlakhumalo4728 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You and me both. There’s another TED talk about how we are not at the mercy of our emotions. It helped me, it might help you too

    • @cheruiyotkirimigodfrey6178
      @cheruiyotkirimigodfrey6178 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I've been a victim too and it really affected my relationship. I hope I'll be better in my next relationship

  • @MatthewSword86
    @MatthewSword86 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Thankful for this amazing teaching of Love and Wisdom 🙏🏻❤️

  • @vivianzhao3090
    @vivianzhao3090 3 ปีที่แล้ว +837

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Victor Frankl

    • @rupalshah1466
      @rupalshah1466 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      👍

    • @wafaanoureddine2542
      @wafaanoureddine2542 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      👍

    • @juveriasweet5354
      @juveriasweet5354 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's merely a few seconds to choose the right response. Sometimes it's people pleasing and not being yourself..

    • @apthra2016
      @apthra2016 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      One question

    • @vivianzhao3090
      @vivianzhao3090 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@juveriasweet5354 yeah, it really takes practice to set the boundary, and respond in way that being ture to self and not not offend others

  • @lacilangston2633
    @lacilangston2633 3 ปีที่แล้ว +431

    1. Attack, misbehave,blame,complian,gossip, punish,judge.
    2. vulnerable, judge ourselves, low self esteem, feeling of rejection, self doubt , fear of failing and disappointment, feeling of a victim like no body cares or loves me
    3. Being vigilant, being mindfull, observant,we stop, pause, wait and be conscious and WAIT (What Am I Thinking ). Observe the person and wonder why is she behaving in such a way
    4. Detect our own behaviour, being self aware, we know who we r, we know what we want, we know where we r going, we r not afraid to speak our truth but we know our boundaries, we r powerfull, here we grow we r free and become our full power,we become assertive but not aggressive. At no1 we lose our power
    5. Display of empathy, compassion,understanding, putting our egos in the back seat, listen to people and care for them, embrace other reality,
    other perspective, other diversity, being tolerant and what is important for the person sitting before us and to stay connected

    • @susanllequis3832
      @susanllequis3832 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      How wonderful to listen and learn without. Putdowns. Elegant and intelligent,Thank you..

    • @masangoiyanda3123
      @masangoiyanda3123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey, how are you doing today dear

    • @afeedashukoor5348
      @afeedashukoor5348 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thankyou

    • @bjacob9998
      @bjacob9998 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Truth is many in the country were beat down. Then comes the behavior modification stage. Often there is a responsible person and a good person will address their bad behavior and not victim blame the one they provoked or triggered.

    • @temimegraham1904
      @temimegraham1904 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      U are the best ! Thank you 🙏

  • @marynussio9880
    @marynussio9880 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    I am a middle school teacher and on Wednesdays I play a video to help the students learn a skill. Sometimes it is a learning skill, organizing skill, and once in a while a life skill. They take notes, rate the presentation and speaker, but also learn something. My eighth graders will watch this on their first Wednesday back to school. Thank you for an insightful presentation.

  • @jaypandit915
    @jaypandit915 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    12:34 : it shows how even if we have a slip of tongue, if we continue with flow without getting anxious about it, we can go on with our work

  • @rhythmforlife7058
    @rhythmforlife7058 2 ปีที่แล้ว +830

    Dear everyone who reads this, we don't know each other but I wish you all the best in life and happiness :) ❤️

    • @obarnwon
      @obarnwon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wish you the same dear!

    • @rhythmforlife7058
      @rhythmforlife7058 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much.....

    • @obarnwon
      @obarnwon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@rhythmforlife7058 you are welcome

    • @yve4889
      @yve4889 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same to you💖

    • @kianadrummond7329
      @kianadrummond7329 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Your a beautiful soul

  • @julie-annathao6275
    @julie-annathao6275 2 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    " everybody is going through something " and " they have their reasons " are my life mottos . Everyone is doing what they do . don't judge - wait and see why they are doing it . I whole heartedly live by this and it makes you live life with little worries and it makes you stop and realize you shouldn't be judging one based on what they look or what they are doing because you don't know why

    • @davidsmith-oi3zg
      @davidsmith-oi3zg ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hello Julie how are you doing today i hope everything is fine with you?

  • @mbrown5440
    @mbrown5440 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    "I don't like that man, I must get to know him." Many times, I've misjudged others...always happy to learn that I was wrong. Deeply, profound quote! Great video! Thank you for sharing.

  • @brynneisafaerie1762
    @brynneisafaerie1762 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1092

    The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging

    • @walterpaton8698
      @walterpaton8698 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Exactly. The mind is a terrible thing to listen to.

    • @noneofyourbusiness8278
      @noneofyourbusiness8278 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      But if you vent to a psychiatrist on this as a patient everything you say should be in private. Not to be shared by everyone outside those office visits and triangulated.

    • @spaceoddity2485
      @spaceoddity2485 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Nope 👎. The highest form of intelligence is to be able to get in the head of other people. Especially across age ranges ...

    • @shailzasharma7513
      @shailzasharma7513 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jiddu K

    • @idanwillenchik3050
      @idanwillenchik3050 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Judgement is good.Judgement helps you choose right from wrong.Overjudgement may be too much.not in my opinion.

  • @yutisima
    @yutisima 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1122

    7:01 // The Red Chair - The Jackal: Attack, Misbehave, Blame, Judge.
    "The more we judge people the less time we have to love them." - Mother Teressa.
    9:34 // The Yellow Chair - The Hedgehog: Self-Doubt, Fear, Vulnerable.
    "The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging." - Jiddu Krishnamurti.
    11:06 // The Green Chair - The Meerkat: Wait, Patience, Mindful, Pause, Observe.
    "You have your way. I have my way. The only right way... it does not exist." - Fredrich Nietzche.
    12:39 // The Blue Chair - The Dolphin: Detect, Self-Awarness, Powerful but Set Boundaries to Ourselves, Growth, Assertive but not Agressive.
    "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." - Arsitotle.
    13:54 // The Purple Chair - The Giraffe: Connect, Vision, Empathy, Tolerant, Understanding, Listen to People.
    "I don't like that man, I must get to know him better." - Lincoln.

  • @faridahalihassan8005
    @faridahalihassan8005 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for this. I want to watch this every day ❤ sounds like something I need, I wonder why I am just seeing it 😮

  • @jessicagalusha6987
    @jessicagalusha6987 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I just was "called out" as having adhd. I have watched your video multiple times. I have sat in every chair. Sometimes all in one day. I thank you for the knowledge and the perspective to see and understand things differently.

    • @wood7772000
      @wood7772000 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too… In one day 😳

  • @strongfaith94
    @strongfaith94 5 ปีที่แล้ว +732

    Should we talk about how this Lady is beautiful and elegant!.

    • @astoryofafrica
      @astoryofafrica 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Love this about her so much!!

    • @ajaoadejoke8931
      @ajaoadejoke8931 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I thought no one was going to mention that. She is elegant, composed and has such a beautiful spirit. She exudes love.

    • @DavidLopez-gn3bi
      @DavidLopez-gn3bi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Muy Bonita,

    • @Annie261.
      @Annie261. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Class!

    • @tiffanysar-lecluze5679
      @tiffanysar-lecluze5679 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I wanna be like her when I grow old!

  • @cjoviac
    @cjoviac 7 ปีที่แล้ว +703

    This talk just prevented a major confrontation with a teammate at work. I was planning the 'attack' tomorrow morning at work...but on the way home today (in traffic) I randomly selected this video from all the choices my TH-cam page presented. And now...I'm suddenly in 'giraffe' mode. THANK YOU Louise.
    Tomorrow will be a good day!

    • @louiseevans3534
      @louiseevans3534 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      So happy it helped you xx

    • @violettewambua1390
      @violettewambua1390 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Joyousj 🤣🤣🤣

    • @aleksandar9571
      @aleksandar9571 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      How was your day in the end, my friend? Did it went well?

    • @Mel0Cat
      @Mel0Cat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Aleksandar I would like to know as well

    • @Mienarrr
      @Mienarrr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      me too 🤭

  • @krislarsh7796
    @krislarsh7796 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    As a teacher working on becoming a future principal this video is probably one of the most meaningful videos I have seen. I think as a teacher, we are not just just educators, but leaders, mentors, and facilitators of life. Which chair a teachers sits in can really impact the outcome of student success. Just imagine the impact of the teachers if he or she sits in the red chair all day long?

  • @digitalpatricia6125
    @digitalpatricia6125 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    If we all learned this at school when kids, it would have saved us from so many heartbreaks, heartaches, misstakes, lesson learned and helped us to connect and learn about each others. I wish I knew this long time ago. But I will always go back and watch this. Thank you!! this was amazing and one of the top ted talks so far. I get teared up....I wish I could turn back time.

    • @amitamehra9529
      @amitamehra9529 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Its never too late

  • @villapoggiodigaville
    @villapoggiodigaville 2 ปีที่แล้ว +799

    Thank you all so much for your appreciation of The 5 Chairs. If they can help you in any way with your daily lives they are fulfilling their mission :-)

    • @kindnessmaku5969
      @kindnessmaku5969 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You did absolutely great in the explanation loved it

    • @kristin1459
      @kristin1459 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I just finished watching your TedTalk....changed my life....I am 48 and in the midst of many difficulties as are so many people in the WORLD...this SPOKE TO ME....I feel different...I feel empowered and hopeful. Wow. Brilliant.

    • @kristin1459
      @kristin1459 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      honestly this was more informative, practical and life-changing than graduate school in Psychology :)

    • @HealthiaMedica
      @HealthiaMedica 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How can I connect with you Louis ? Im guilty as charged, I think I'm more on the red chair. I love your analysis and background. Would love to learn more

    • @michellebiland5163
      @michellebiland5163 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you Louise. I have shared this link with many friends already. 🌻🌻

  • @renstarhurst3302
    @renstarhurst3302 4 ปีที่แล้ว +606

    Who is watching this 5/2020 we need this more than ever today.

    • @karthiksanugula8537
      @karthiksanugula8537 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I have been watching this video since 2017, when situations around me make aggressive. Yes, you are right we need this more than every now and then

    • @thefashionskunk
      @thefashionskunk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Me, watching NOW! 😊

    • @bridgetmary9867
      @bridgetmary9867 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Here

    • @guppyfamily5533
      @guppyfamily5533 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thought provoking

    • @Mimi_international1
      @Mimi_international1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      RenStar Hurst 🙋🏾‍♀️

  • @dishonb188
    @dishonb188 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This was one of the best ted talks I’ve ever seen. Exceptionally articulate, well informed, and eye opening.

  • @user-kv8dp3ib7w
    @user-kv8dp3ib7w 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Rewatching again! Thank you.

  • @zohakarimi2983
    @zohakarimi2983 3 ปีที่แล้ว +289

    “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

    • @peggyhavard1546
      @peggyhavard1546 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      AMEN🙏🏻

    • @deehope9477
      @deehope9477 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lol knowing God as well.....!!

    • @simplyk8767
      @simplyk8767 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Knowing God is the beginning of wisdom

    • @gideonmendoza2067
      @gideonmendoza2067 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom

    • @kaylee8869
      @kaylee8869 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      So. True.

  • @louiseevans4882
    @louiseevans4882 7 ปีที่แล้ว +413

    Thank you all so much for your appreciative comments

    • @mariajaffary2697
      @mariajaffary2697 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Really Magical and life changing words.hats off to you

    • @sarnabchakraborty1323
      @sarnabchakraborty1323 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Great mam.

    • @Neldidellavittoria
      @Neldidellavittoria 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The best Ted Talk I've listened to in a very long time. Well thought out and well presented. And very meaningful to me at this moment in my life, when I'm re-thinking a lot about myself, my life, and my relationship with the people around me. Thank you very much indeed Ms Evans.

    • @ogarelizabeth8084
      @ogarelizabeth8084 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Louise Evans
      Thanks so much Louise. You've made my night

    • @mrinalgadhade9304
      @mrinalgadhade9304 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Louise Evans -that’s something I’m gonna remember all my life. Thank you ❤️

  • @saumyachaudhary5527
    @saumyachaudhary5527 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    This has been the most easy and beautifully expressed way of different actions and perceptives of how a person behaves/reacts, be it ourselves or others. Amazing🙌

  • @Renee11123
    @Renee11123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +210

    I'm deeply moved by your speech. I'm in the process of being more aware of my behavior, thoughts, and communication with myself and others and this talk sparked something in me that I was trying to figure out this whole time. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart ❤. Thank you for helping me start the new year on the right foot.

  • @jeanmarkbadibanga8689
    @jeanmarkbadibanga8689 2 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    80% of your success is linked to how you communicate.

    • @kingquinn3897
      @kingquinn3897 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I shout myself to the top!

  • @MarkFeaGuitar
    @MarkFeaGuitar 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1236

    I watch a lot of TED talks and have to say, this is one of the best presentations I have seen... well thought out, well paced and delivered.... absolutely fantastic. Thank you Louise...

    • @pavlamuzikova
      @pavlamuzikova 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I completely agree :)

    • @brittanyluke1207
      @brittanyluke1207 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I knew someone shared my sentiments. Bravo Louise.

    • @raghadhabash1370
      @raghadhabash1370 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      MFGuitarStuff
      Couldn't agree more!

    • @rupeshbora
      @rupeshbora 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      MFGuitarStuff completely echo wit u...!

    • @user-dp4yx9lz6t
      @user-dp4yx9lz6t 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks to the easy and clear introduction

  • @frustratednoname
    @frustratednoname 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Brilliant. As someone who's rushed through life, always in a hurry and often feeling like a "victim" of having too much on my plate, it's a gift to be able to pause. Think. Detect and perhaps act out of intention rather than impulse. This life is a journey and even someone like me, decades in, can learn new behaviours. I recently learned that I very much run off a script in my head that has been programmed over the years, but can be rewritten. Thank you for this. You are wonderful.

  • @lauraedens9830
    @lauraedens9830 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This just changed the entire course of my
    Thought Life,
    and I realize it has the power to change my
    Entire Life!
    “Do you want to be in a relationship with your mother, (insert any name) or do you want to be right?”
    Thank you!!!!!

  • @sanjanapathak433
    @sanjanapathak433 4 ปีที่แล้ว +484

    One of the most brilliant talks I've seen on TED

  • @patriciamartin9515
    @patriciamartin9515 4 ปีที่แล้ว +376

    This is such a good talk: it makes me realise that I've been sitting way too much in the red chair lately, it's time to change... one choice at a time. Thank you so much for enlightening me, this is really a life changing speech.

    • @anja1789
      @anja1789 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hope you're not at the red chair anymore

    • @utewavkdo8515
      @utewavkdo8515 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you all so much for your appreciative comments. It really warms my heart deeply.

    • @geraldoalvesdelimalima2071
      @geraldoalvesdelimalima2071 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lula

    • @elvismolefimolf
      @elvismolefimolf 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Very powerful

    • @andybrown8613
      @andybrown8613 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi beautiful. HiI would loves us to be friends and also love to know more about you...what do you say?

  • @cheruiyotkirimigodfrey6178
    @cheruiyotkirimigodfrey6178 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Honestly, this is an eye opener for me. I've spent most of my time being a jackal to attack, judge and later on have self doubt. Thank you Louise Evans

  • @janaesimmons4672
    @janaesimmons4672 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow "making this world yes, a Better place one behavior at at a time" excellent! 2022. Thanks 👍.

  • @abr2648
    @abr2648 3 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    "Stepping into someone's else shoes and understand them is a great act of generosity"❤️

    • @peggyhavard1546
      @peggyhavard1546 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      AMEN🙏🏻AMEN🙏🏻AMEN🙏🏻

  • @sammy_lynn
    @sammy_lynn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    This just made me a better person and helped me recognize where I sit most of the time...I'll be changing seats now lol

    • @mazey2896
      @mazey2896 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Been playing musical chairs with myself for years now how can i just sit in 1 ?

    • @neemakaegele1174
      @neemakaegele1174 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol move on girl

    • @zcmdwane
      @zcmdwane 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too lol

    • @dustbehindthehat2237
      @dustbehindthehat2237 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahahahaha

  • @offxgraysee8886
    @offxgraysee8886 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Watched this video because of an assignment, but it ended up being something I needed personally - thank you!

  • @minhhanhto1965
    @minhhanhto1965 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    "we listen to people, we hold people in our present" - beautiful words, thank you Louise !

  • @DBoyuh
    @DBoyuh 7 ปีที่แล้ว +306

    Awesome talk !!! It reminds me the quote: There are only three things you need let go of Judging, Controlling, and Being right. Release these three and you will have the whole mind and twinkly heart of a child. ~Hugh Prather

    • @louiseevans4882
      @louiseevans4882 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I love that quote Oyun. Thanks

    • @dsstudio76
      @dsstudio76 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Perfect! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

    • @elegantfifi
      @elegantfifi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Exceptional video x

    • @zakiplayzhashimi8802
      @zakiplayzhashimi8802 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@louiseevans4882 you are the best teacher !! i studay english today.very uesfull. tank you very much

    • @ahmedghazwan4747
      @ahmedghazwan4747 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for the beautiful words.

  • @cebolla3922
    @cebolla3922 5 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    her voice is so goddamn calming and this TED talk is so important

  • @dinnabharath2201
    @dinnabharath2201 ปีที่แล้ว

    These are an ower reality of five-way choices. Appreciated.

  • @amorporlasletrascontere7692
    @amorporlasletrascontere7692 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I loved that video. It is one of ny favorites Ted talks. This is a crucial topic in our daily lives. How many problems would not exist if empaty guide our lives!

  • @sevinch6304
    @sevinch6304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This was the Ted talk I absolutely needed.
    I have been a jackal most of my life.
    I really want to change

    • @ninasmith8965
      @ninasmith8965 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Believe in yourself and work on yourself. I'm on the same path. Good luck. 🙌

    • @karinberryman2009
      @karinberryman2009 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Very honest - you’re doing very well when you can identify yourself like this!

  • @definitelymaybe_cath
    @definitelymaybe_cath 4 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    One of my favorite Ted talk :)
    I always keep on re-watching this whenever I feel like I'm losing mindful self and I'm drowning in my emotions.

    • @Harith5
      @Harith5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      💪🏻💪🏻🌻💚

  • @larryewaen4945
    @larryewaen4945 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Wow it's so amazing as I have found a solution to most of my problems, I am quick to attach instead of connecting.....thank you so much for this wonderful teaching ❤

  • @mygdaliafierro0731
    @mygdaliafierro0731 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I commit 🙏🏻. This is a lovely Tedx. Thank you , Louise Evans ❤️.

  • @Relachi
    @Relachi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +593

    i absolutely ADORE this ted talk

  • @reallifelove
    @reallifelove 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Great talk, and I must say the brother's comment "do you want to be in a relationship with her or to be right", struck very deeply and to the point.

    • @TellTheTru
      @TellTheTru 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      On her brother’s comment... I understand that being in a relationship is important but it’s also important to correct the person in a good way only for good. And can’t we correct the person in a good way and still be in a good relationship? Why do we need to choose between the two?

  • @ameralbadry6825
    @ameralbadry6825 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the best talks
    I just wished that I saw these earlier in my life!

  • @lesia4703
    @lesia4703 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    It was incredible, Louise! You've gethered so much wisdom to share with everyone! And every word you say is so meaningful. I'll rewatch it over and over again, not to miss a single word. Thank you so much!

  • @myownlittleworld9216
    @myownlittleworld9216 6 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Girrafe chair.....the giraffe has the biggest heart of all land animals...longest neck so it has incredible vision. In this chair we display empathy, compassion and understanding so in this chair we let go of our ego, we hold people in our presence and we care for them and listen to them, and stepping into somebody else's shoes and understanding them is a great act of generosity. To embrace diversity and to become tolerant.

    • @dougraddi908
      @dougraddi908 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Three horns don't play with long necks

  • @mkim7715
    @mkim7715 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I watched this three times today. As I am going through difficult time personally, this message was enlightening and exactly what I needed.. I am red chair person.. i will continue to watch until I memorize the signals of each chairs .

  • @dbguru500
    @dbguru500 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Thank you Louise! You have very successfully, condensed all the self-help books into 20 minutes! I cannot thank you enough. You have changed my life, and many others, as these comments will attest. This is one reason the TED talks are so powerful. Brilliant people sharing wonderful ideas in 20 minutes. God bless you Louise take care and be safe.❤️❤️❤️

  • @leilaalamian8760
    @leilaalamian8760 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank your for your speech video that I will watch it over and over again for learning how to observe my reactions and correct my mistakes in my encounters with people until I feel improved. Also, Thank you for touching one of the most important obstacles I face with my children. The Cell Phone and the applications on their phones distracting them to be present with me when together. I learned from your experience with your young woman in this video that I should not get disappointed with my children being busy on their cell phones which stops us from any meaningful communications. But I still do not know how to react to this behaviour while it is happening or even later. Mind you this issue is not limited only to our youth. My own siblings ( all over 55 years old) they rather text than calling or meeting! I just gave up on all of them until I watched your video. So there are ways to help this issue. I just don't know those ways.

  • @sonalibhat5149
    @sonalibhat5149 4 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    I think a person is a combination of different chairs..what matters is which chair is dominant !!

    • @yaoiblfan
      @yaoiblfan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      sonali bhat
      You're right. I like your answer.

    • @owlfeathers6615
      @owlfeathers6615 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Hello Patricia"

    • @muhammadghiffary2110
      @muhammadghiffary2110 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      well said sir.

    • @blertaklevis
      @blertaklevis 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I would say, which chair YOU decide to be dominant. We all have those chairs, but do you decide to be angry, to be doubtful or sad, or you could be a Giraffa if you want to ;)

    • @Onlinesully
      @Onlinesully 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      that makes a lot of sense

  • @annahnabalayi1090
    @annahnabalayi1090 4 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    Having been raised by my very or should extremely harsh, tough, iron lady African mother as all most African mothers are, I was never given a chance to express myself. I was always told off, never good enough, always comparing me to my peers, it was hard to make Friends who were scared of being my friend because of my mother. Traveled to England for the first time in 2008 on one year placement at a retreat house where the wardens were a wonderful elderly couple. The love and attention i received, these people taught me to love me, encouraged me to use my voice. Alot of that pain and anger was released because of what i received from this couple and people who came to the retreat house. Louise thank you for this talk, i can self evaluate, i know what to let go of and what hold on to. i am watching this like for the fifth time now. Love the idea of chairs, i have been in all those chairs all my life but i must say this is WISDOM. Thank you

    • @aishammanga654
      @aishammanga654 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      African parents can really be toxic

    • @commedesigns836
      @commedesigns836 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      My name is Dennis. I also understand how you feel, I was also a victim a toxic parenthood actually from Dad, Nigerian, I was forced to run away (self decision) after a domestic abuse but one thing i learned after leaving was calmness and had the opportunity to express myself and inner giant. I am a creative and found that gift spontaneously ... I now have a good respectful relationship from my dad and found that life is worth staying positive

    • @Honeybeememez
      @Honeybeememez 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      💓

    • @anja1789
      @anja1789 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is inspiring to read, thank you for sharing, I hope you're well

    • @annahnabalayi1090
      @annahnabalayi1090 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@anja1789 thank you. i am well

  • @scenesane
    @scenesane ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Making myself, my home, work, world better one chair at a one.

  • @andreahuerta7508
    @andreahuerta7508 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Beautiful! I loved this Ted talk ❤ brilliant woman, thank you.

  • @imeldafani
    @imeldafani 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    I love her voice and intonation! She'd be great to be a voice-over artist 😀

  • @leulitascro
    @leulitascro 7 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    If we only allowed a tiny bit of our daily spare time to observe and to assess our behaviours and our way to communicate to others, we would dramatically contribute to change this world for the better.
    The Five Chairs is a stuggering practical tool to make it happen.
    Thank you Louise!!

    • @louiseevans3534
      @louiseevans3534 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You are so right Matteo....even just one behaviour a day :-)9

    • @kimberlyrosssegovia203
      @kimberlyrosssegovia203 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm proud to honestly say that I favor the green and both blue chairs. 😄
      I'm disappointed in the realisation that I act & react in either the red or yellow chair with my husband of 20 years. Honestly I'd have to admit that i spend most of the time in both red and yellow chairs when remembering past events, talking to, thinking of and reacting to my husband.
      This talk has been an eye opener. Much gratitude Louise.

    • @nishakuttan2822
      @nishakuttan2822 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Matteo Baronti Becky. A. Bailey's book called Easy to Love difficult to Discipline is a great parenting book.. Must read for all..

  • @karankapoor2701
    @karankapoor2701 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the best tedx talk to ever have happened

  • @Karlacook89
    @Karlacook89 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    This brought so much healing to my heart. Thank you Lord Jesus for placing this video in my path ❤

  • @coleman6203
    @coleman6203 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I've spent my entire life sitting in the wrong chair! Thank you for this presentation!

  • @chulangaaverilhettiarachch3267
    @chulangaaverilhettiarachch3267 4 ปีที่แล้ว +482

    "I don't like that man, I must get to know him better"

    • @lisafiel8457
      @lisafiel8457 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      right and after that if you still don't like them maybe trust your judgement and if you can move the F on!

    • @kardoyle
      @kardoyle 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lisafiel8457 yeah don’t be afool over it

    • @elvismolefimolf
      @elvismolefimolf 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Amazing 💯

    • @wwd5104
      @wwd5104 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      A fellow lankan.

  • @hunpiya
    @hunpiya ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Such a timely talk for me. Yesterday I wrote, “I will be better”today, I am watching this. Thank you Louise. I will definitely be using all of these

  • @Shalini2808
    @Shalini2808 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Stumbled upon this very insightful video today, what a find!

  • @ceciliaindriyani7773
    @ceciliaindriyani7773 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    For anyone who's wondering, the 4th blue (dolphin) quote is from Aristotle "Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom" 🙏 thank you Ms Louise Evans, life changing speech

  • @melissajohnson9668
    @melissajohnson9668 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This presentation hit home, hard. The introspection begins.

    • @rc....
      @rc.... 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      And then what??? ONLY introspect???

  • @gonzalofernandez8399
    @gonzalofernandez8399 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thanks for sharing your master class, you are awesome woman 🌟

  • @murielbarry3766
    @murielbarry3766 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Louise. I was planning an attack when I go to work tomorrow. You saved me with these chairs. Lesson learned. Thanks 😊👍❤

  • @veshk3241
    @veshk3241 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I was just on the verge of a breakdown. My Masters year isn't going so well and life is shit around me. Now i have some tools to make things close to me better. Thank you so much Louise Evans!

    • @louiseevans4882
      @louiseevans4882 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Your comment made me feel so grateful Vesh. I really hope the Chairs help you come into a better place in you life....a place you deserve :-))

  • @maureen95
    @maureen95 7 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    We often talk about shifting behaviors but Louise's talk helps us to pragmatically feel and do exactly this. Even more so, we learn to stop the stories we tell ourselves which are fabricated in our mind until we open the communication. Great tool: W.A.I.T. - What am I thinking? What am I telling myself?
    Tweeting, texting and tech are with us forever. How can we be so connected yet so communicative. Louise gives us the answer. Thank you.

  • @amandacassia2553
    @amandacassia2553 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Starting new year in the right shoes after that ted talk, thanks ❤

  • @bethryan9054
    @bethryan9054 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for opening my eyes to these five chairs

  • @estilo4276
    @estilo4276 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Hope many people watch and get a very fruitful benefits of your talk. A very big thanks Louise

  • @diemhuong3876
    @diemhuong3876 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think this is the most valuable 18mins in my life really. You see I’m having struggle communicating with people these day, and it got so much worse each day that I think I’m suffering from depression. I have insomnia (which i never had before) caused by the worries of why ppl hate me so much or why they just can’t get it. I even feel suffocate in my own house. But your sharing I think will help me so much and I’ll try to change in this way. I’ll come back and write the results. Thanks alot teacher!

    • @nd6007
      @nd6007 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here... Exactly what you say...

  • @jocelynetesta9373
    @jocelynetesta9373 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Anyone who knows you are very lucky. Thanks for this beautiful video.

  • @darlingnyibz
    @darlingnyibz ปีที่แล้ว +9

    One of the best ted talks I have heard
    Just makes us aware of the impact we have on others. And how we can improve relationships often

  • @raindropsonroses3919
    @raindropsonroses3919 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Eloquent , articulate and intellectual... what a woman! One of the most inspiring ted talks I’ve seen

  • @christakounine
    @christakounine 7 ปีที่แล้ว +225

    You are an amazing speaker, Louise! I loved your talk, the concept, the story/ Vignette you used to illustrate the 5 chairs and the way you presented, so clear!

    • @louiseevans3534
      @louiseevans3534 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      So very glad. Thanks Christa

    • @nammyohorengekyoooooo
      @nammyohorengekyoooooo 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      +Louise Evans One of the best Ted talks I've seen, too bad the people that really need it won't see it..

    • @ice-chills5153
      @ice-chills5153 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      👍

    • @elsagrace3893
      @elsagrace3893 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Christa Schreiber glad it made sense to you. It takes all kinds of teachers.

    • @christinerugambwa3579
      @christinerugambwa3579 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Arianna Kamal k

  • @arielzuidema7193
    @arielzuidema7193 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I cried when you mentioned Viktor E Frankl and his book, A Man's Search For Meaning. It is my favorite book and drastically altered my mind, along with the ideals of chakras, which are in favor of being self-restorative until you are physically capable, emotionally capable, and socially capable of being empathetic, open, and truthful.

  • @louiseevans3534
    @louiseevans3534 7 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    Thank you. So glad you enjoyed it

    • @belib820
      @belib820 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you so much.

    • @salwaalhajel5634
      @salwaalhajel5634 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Louise Evans awesome thank you ! The great lesson in the right time ! God bless you

    • @ericmoore1173
      @ericmoore1173 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

  • @amourtoujours779
    @amourtoujours779 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    "Observe yourself without judging"
    By this point in her talk, I was already crying but this one took me over the edge. So glad I stopped to watch this.

  • @nellykoskey5073
    @nellykoskey5073 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Many years ago and her teachings still making sence and inspires, what a piece

  • @iannaash8383
    @iannaash8383 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I'm feeling goosebumps because this talk resonates to me so much. I felt vulnerable while listening to this talk because it feels like it is exposing some of my inner conflicts that I didn't even realize I havem

  • @pannnu894
    @pannnu894 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Dear Louise, after watching this video for twice , I am sure that you are my favourite teacher. I am very glad to see you and hear your powerful and lovely voice. I live with my mother who is similar with yours. Actually I have very hard days with my mother. I am going to take your 5 chairs and i will try to solve my problems. Thanks you so much for your great talk. May God Bless You!

  • @sheils2688
    @sheils2688 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thank you for this. How I wish I had seen such a clear and edifying presentation before getting old. Still time to act.

    • @louiseevans3534
      @louiseevans3534 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bravo! It's never too late. I wish you success xx

    • @IwasBlueb4
      @IwasBlueb4 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      sheils....your comment touched my heart somehow

  • @suprabhathapaliya2833
    @suprabhathapaliya2833 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I listened to you few years ago and again fell in love with your personality and your perception of connection with your people. Thank you Louise for this insight.

  • @theopisteniyonshuti2082
    @theopisteniyonshuti2082 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Louise, this is really educative.

  • @tarisa9692
    @tarisa9692 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Dear Louise,
    At a low and vulnerable time in my life I reached out to You Tube to find strength.
    I found that I was interested in the Tedx talks for building up my self esteem! The Five Chairs jumped out at me and I continue to keep learning from your talk.
    Your audience captivatided me as well because I could see from the vedio that they could feel the encouragement too.
    I am a spiritual person as well. I am in the habit of reading and appling scripture to my day as well.
    When I was consoled with Proverbios 30:24-33, I was moved to thank you for the confidence and healing that your talk coupled with belief in a Grand Creator and Designer has done for me!
    Please keep helping humanity!
    Very truly yours,
    Tarisa May Karr

  • @konmylona
    @konmylona 3 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    This is one of the most enlightening speech I have ever heard! Thank you!

    • @ericmoore1173
      @ericmoore1173 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there toda

  • @BubblesPothowari
    @BubblesPothowari 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sincere. Believable. Doable. No Jargon. Wonderful quotes from real leaders. Grateful.

  • @noelmabiza711
    @noelmabiza711 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Powerful. We need a lot of learning to do to make this world a better place for human settlement.

  • @sandrangarka9855
    @sandrangarka9855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +136

    Who is watching 6/2020.
    This is so inspiring
    It has spoken directly to me
    We all need to carry the 5 chairs along

    • @loribrejcha4676
      @loribrejcha4676 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Listening in July now, brilliant women!

    • @ginamccollum7237
      @ginamccollum7237 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I completely agree! This touched me to the core!

    • @peggyhavard1546
      @peggyhavard1546 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@loribrejcha4676 listening in
      April 2021

    • @TR-vh1fi
      @TR-vh1fi 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      4/2021 here

    • @cherylsmith5998
      @cherylsmith5998 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow profound. Thank you for highlighting my 5 chairs.

  • @kellyewright4845
    @kellyewright4845 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Definitely one of my favorite TED Talks. Louise's presence is so calming. I could listen to her all day!