Giuliani Has COVID & Trump Has Pity Party
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ธ.ค. 2020
- Rudy Giuliani has tested positive for COVID-19 after a very strange six weeks, we may have overlooked a new Trumperverse character named Dana Smith, Trump had a pity party rally in Georgia, we’ve reached #Squattergate Day 34, and a new holiday tradition is born from the National Institute of Health - Fauci on a Couchi.
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Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 11 billion views and more than 15 million subscribers on the show’s TH-cam channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy TH-cam Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.” - ตลก
That fart was the only honest thing to come out of Rudy Guiliani !!!
Trump for prison 2021
I don't know...I think he was just talking out of his butt.
Do you think Rudy's flatulence was spreading Covid19, does it spread with gas?
The only thing out of his mouth.
@Daniels H I agree, all along I predicted to friends most of the White House would catch Covid and ALL would be back a week later fine and dandy.
The doll segment was hilarious, Kelleyanne in a garbage can, !!! LOL 😆 🤣 😂.
Their witnesses are just as crazy as they are 😂
That Matlock parody was everything😂
January 20th, 2021 can't come soon enough.
@Sille Drof 😂😂😂 Keep drinking the orange Kool Aide.
@Sille Drof -
Silly drawf?
@Sille Drof Great work doing what? Golfing while people die?
Who’s still laughing about the Four Seasons Total Landscaping?
still laughing about how Borat played him
Got my official FSTL merch the second it dropped and it is really giving me all the holiday cheer I need
“There were very fine businesses, on both sides!”
@Jooj Historians are going to have a field day
@@SpaceForceCommander Thanks for the laugh! LOL
That woman claiming that the cold temperature was not appropriate for computers... it's actually the other way around, computers are affected by HEAT. Server rooms typically have to be under AC.
That's when people are talking out their asses!
Well, it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. ''Just keep talking, lady. You're doing a good job. Idiots will eat this up.''
And if that fart came out of that woman who automatically looked at Rudy, to her I give 5 claps. 👏👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Third time winner in Georgia.
So, Joe, aren't you tired of winning, yet?
I will rewatch the last four years of monologues for the next ten years.
Goals
What have you been doing this whole time?! 😜 already seams surreal ridiculous that this is the world we’re living in, only humor got us this far😉
@Smileyrie.yeppoon na last four years was trippie,
I have to rewatch all of it just so I can remind myself that it really happened
“The people’s vote should be more protected than their urine!”
That’s the Number One rule of democracy
I mean who protects there urine, you want that as far away from you as possible
Say a pray of protection ,and, flush.
N
Yeah I think it's in the constitution, somewhere near the back.
TO ALL JIMMY KIMMEL FANS: Thank-You.
The responses that so many of you post are as funny if not funnier than the stuff in the monologues.
💕
Ya'll have made life a bit easier and a lot more hilarious during this never ending pandemic.
Of course, the Great Orange Pumpkins reign of corruption, death and terror.
God Bless you all.
💕
I lost it when she said “ DON’T GIVE A RIP” 💀💀😂😂😂😭😭😭😭
I keep saying that anti-maskers should be required to sign a waiver agreeing to no Covid treatment. They are threats to beleaguered medical workers.
Agree!
Yeah I agree.
Agreed
I agree wholeheartedly!!!!!
He'll get no pity from me, he did everything he could to get it.
@@stopfakenews8368 Hopefully when u get it it’ll send u to hell with the rest of trump voters
@@stopfakenews8368 biden does his best to avoid it unlike Juliani trump and their followers who refuse to simply wear a mask then take up hospital beds and resources from people who actually do what they are supposed to do. He deserves it
Gouliani is part bat though so he's probably got inbuilt immunity
“Odor in the Court. Odor in the Court!”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
“And the soon to be discontinued Trump on a stump” 😩😩🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG! That 'Fauci on a couchi' was hilarious! They seriously should make them.
And all the other dolls.
Kellyanne in a garbage can. Lol.
That was brilliant. I was lmao.
I got frightening memories of watching the puppet master movies as a kid
Hilarious!!!
Who says Rudy Giuliani tested positive? Rudy: “Wow! All The Networks!” 😂
Hahaha
They should have waited for the courts to announce instead 😂😂
💩
Classic 😂😂
I read this in Rudy’s voice 😂😂
😂😂😂😂
Biden: 3
Trump: 0
But we all like cucumbers...
Jimmy has to get a Fauci on a couchi made and send it to the good Doctor!
I still am laughing my guts out on that one!
Stay safe, stay sane, be well
There's nothing presidential about this president or his TWEETS
Bring this to r/unpopularopions it will ground breaking
@@b0bethey342 it’s not really an unpopular opinion lol
@@gamer-nh9ub That's what r/unpopular opinions is for... popular opinions
Imagine being ok with strict lockdowns, not letting people go to work to feed their families because you don't like some dude's tweets.
And your side has the nerve to call yourself the "smart" ones.
What a fail.
Trump walking away from all of this is like watching a Drunk driver be the only one to survive a car wreck
That's deep! (& unfortunately too true...)
@arya&iggy Very well said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Let's throw that drunk driver into prison where he belongs.
👏👏👏👏🙏
This analogy needs to be more popular
Fauci on a Couchi 😂😂😂 I want one I’m crying 😭
The American people must be so embarrassed, could you imagine this happening in the UK or France
We are!
I know a ton of people would actually buy Fauci on the Couchi, self included. XD
Victoria I would!!!!!!!
Put me on the list for one! Those little glasses 💗!
Hope there is a settings adjustment to turn off blowing up children 😂
What does Rudy Giuliani say to Trump when he can’t hear him?
"Pardon me?"
Are you AroN Burr, sir?
Pardon for what.
@@griffinmiller5194 pardon for the farts..lol
Good one,this is the stuff I'll miss
🤣🤣😂😂
"Count flatchula has the Corona virus!"
And Trump has won Transylvania ...
I died laughing!
How is it a good thing that ANYONE gets covid?? Ahh the loving left, so full of s***
Rudy Tootie.
@livelife365 Go make me a fried egg sandwich
*"We're all victims here"* = Perfect summary of the Conservative movement.
not anymore after the Supreme fixes the fraud!
exactly...
The ultimate snowflakes
Conservatives are crybabies.
Oh my god. The fact that this comment got 47 likes is why our country is screwed.
You're my Hero Kimmel, GOD bless you
Four Seasons never seen so much free advertising!!!
People will forever associate it as the place to get aged manure.
I'm not sure if I should hire 4 seasons total landscaping.
On one hand, they let rudy rent the place, so I shouldn't put my money there.
On the other hand, they might have known how silly & embarrassing it would be to have rudy stand in their yard, and that's why they accepted, so they deserve my money.
@@mikelytou O... they deserve your money!!!
I hope they’re doing well. They certainly helped the country have good laugh!
"Have we ever seen a streak like this?"
Only in the underpants hamper on laundry day. 🧺💩
"we always win, somehow we will find a way to win" is that the cue for Russia to step in again?
@@newday_47 are you that uptight and brainwashed that you can't tell what a joke is? wait... is this Don jr?
You’re STILL on the Russia thing?? OMG!!
@@SonnyGTA oh my bad, is it Ukraine now?
"If somebody made this story up, we'd say it was too much..." That's true of the entire Trump presidency.
Fiction has to make sense
How long will Rudy have to quarantine? A Fartnight.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
ROFLMAO - You win the Internet today!
I'm ashamed of myself... I totally laughed at this! 😆😆😆
Honestly... a clever pun *and* a fart joke, I didn't stand a chance! 😊
🦇🤣🤣🤣
damn lol
If Rudy is an architect, I'm going to start just handing out degrees to six year olds who own Lincoln Logs.
Thank you for the laughs Jimmy. God Bless You
"Presidential Tweet" -I'll never stop grimacing at that.
I hear you!
@Johannes König that's the air leaking out of your head you uneducated reject.
I thought the same thing.
Just hold on to the fact that after January 20, trumpy will be subject to the “ rules” of Twitter and probably will (SHOULD) lose his account!
@Johannes König what a BURN!!
"We're all victims here." said the man thats more secure than a literal royal baby.
@WANT S•Е•Х ! Rita 24 y.o ! OPÉN MY CANÁL ! reported
@@miriaml.150: Hello, Miriam L.! I found your “reported” comment surrounded by about ten I was individually reporting!
Hope you have a restorative Holiday Season this year...(Since we really do need to keep a lid on family gatherings, I’m tempted to type HoLIDay; a groaner, I know). Take good care, OK?
He’s the most secure and most insecure person at the same time.
I view it as a warning to his followers.
They are victims of his incompetence and lies..
“I’m 2-0 so we’ll see how that works out”...uh you do realize losses aren’t the first number and we aren’t talking about the popular vote?
this joke doesn’t realize 💩.
This Fauci on a couchi segment was a master piece LOL
Judge banging gavel: "Odor in the court!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Funny!!!
That deserves a Reddit award 🥇
"There was a gal named Gloria there was an elderly guy that I think had COPD because I brought him his oxygen." 😂 That was so funny I watched it twice. 😭
Maybe she’s lonely and needs someone to talk to 😢
I love this show 🤩🤩. It's kept me sane during these four years
I'm having a piss poor couple of months, your 15 min monologue literally makes me forget absolutely everthing for those 15 mins, thankyou really, you have no idea how much you do to ordinary people
“All we do is win... we’re all victims here!” 😒
And those cult idiots don't even see or understand that 😂
My favorite part about him saying they’re all victims is that his supporters LOVE to claim the left are perpetual victims
In their minds this reads, "We keep winning, but everyone else says we lost! So we are victims!"
Insane in the membrane
I don't really care about either of the candidates but how can y'all not tell biden jokes this is becoming un-funny.
I thought that all Trump supporters hated when people “played the victim card”??? Guess not?
Who's laughing now, or haven't you seen the REAL NEWS?
That’s just more projection.
Haven't we learned that they don't ever know what they're talking about? The cult of personality is too strong; they're just followers at this point
Not when they're the "victim" apparently
@@sugarskull2206
We are laughing - at you.
Jimmy your are keeping it real , thank you
,
Everytime I see Rudy I laugh.
He really is the face of the idiots.
More than 1,500 attorneys across the US have signed a petition calling for bar associations to condemn and investigate President Donald Trump’s campaign lawyers.
He looks possessed!
And that face was in charge of the biggest city in the world for 8 years. Makes you think...
KellyAnne in a garbage can. lol. I'd buy that.
It's where she belongs...
Jimmy: " I know you will join me in wishing Rudy a full and speedy retirement". 😆
Uh huh...
Rudy is a good man , I bet you aint
@@ghettoblaster4life1 Haha. Yeah, a good man does not need a pardon.
@@ghettoblaster4life1 ok bro so by your reckoning a good guy is one who gets recorded putting his hand down his pants with a female reporter, tries to overturn democracy and supports Donald Trump despite knowing what that means (as in most Trump supporters don't understand what they do)
Jimmy is a total lowlife so i don't think he will wish Rudy a swift recovery. Only bashing other that's the only talent Jimmy has. The good thing is that Jimmy can enjoy 4 more years soon! :-)
They called karen "r" us, for witnesses.
;D
How does his mouth always stay perfectly open to insert “cucumbers” into it?
From bats, to pangolins, to humans, and back to bats.
The circle is complete.
👏👏👏👏👏
Perfect 😂 Wish I'd thought of it.
Genius!!
“It’s the ciiiiircle of death, and it moves us all...” 🎤🦁👑
Hey my friend, i see you everywhere on youtube, try to explain ( sometimes cynically) why Rep (most of them) and Trump are bouffons, such a dedicaton merit a medal !!!.
Who else wants trump to leave America
You took that from snl
Oh heck ya
@@KeesyMan It's still a good thought.
Goodbye 🍊 🟧 📙 ✴ 🟠 lol
As long as he don't come to Australia. I'd like to see him, with his family, move to Chernobyl. I'd even start a Go Fund Me page to raise money for their plane tickets.
The funniest part of this, as many people have pointed out, is that even if Kemp had handed Georgia to trump, it still wouldn't have been enough to overturn Biden's victory!
😄😄😄
Correction : He gets one last flight on Marine 1 and Air Force 1 with the Presidential Seal . After That , it’s time for the un sealed Indictment from NYC !
“Poll watchers weren’t allowed in the counting areas”-Trump.
“Me and other poll watchers were not taking our eyes off of those ballots”-star witness
They need to get their scripted stories straight first, before talking 😂😂
What do you expect from sicophants who chant "count those votes" while others chant "stop the count"?? Something tells me intelligence isn't their strong suit.
Go pray and ask God to forgive your lies!!.
You first you need it more
@@shellyanten9831 oh god, please forgive my lies😂
The only time he’s had a cucumber is as a pickle on a cheeseburger.
Not the only time... ;) ;)
Trevor Noah joke??
@@manischbulls3333 Nah. It’s a pretty easy joke, but it looks like he said the same thing.
Fouchie on a coughie, & Kellie in a garage can, love it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
"Fauci on a couchi, handcrafted and actual size!" Holy Hell that bit was great!🤣 I'm sorry, but can you imagine the world reading a "tweet" from your dad expressing more compassion for his lawyer than you?
CD see ya later
donnie: Rudy is trying hard to overturned his lab result!
I'VE SAID IT ONCE AND I'LL REPEAT IT AGAIN. IGNORANCE IS NOT A VIRTUE TO BOAST ABOUT IN FACT IF YOU CHECK ROGETS 21st Century Thersaurus under IGNORANCE the first word is apprentice..and every word after describes the Republicans.
Lol
Wow?! All the networks
Eeewww, totally gross 🤮
great zinger 😂😂😂
In order to protect the health care workers treating him, Rudy has announced that from now on he's going to wear thicker underwear.
Let's all start a go-fund- account so Rudy can buy the finer Depends. People might feel a little safer?
Oh man. Jimmy Kimmel. Thankful for that man this past year. Best Holiday wishes man!
Never tell a secret in the middle of a cornfield. There's too many ears. I know it's a corny joke.
Chris! I'm from the Midwest..
Cornfields everywhere I look.
I have NEVER heard that joke!
Worse of all..
I'm 70! What?!
@@poorthing Turn your hearing aid on.
@@TheKaiTetley fortunately I don't require any hearing assistance and I clearly heard your attempt of ageism humor.
You use your prejudice as humor whether its against race, gender, religion, age or sexual preference. Not cool
Did that dad joke come with children?? 🤣😂🤣😂
Never heard that in Germany either... 😆 i always whisper “Malachai” ... when I walk by a cornfield...😜 considering reality, I’d prefer a surprise like that by now...
“We always find a way to win” . By hook or by crook. Truer words were never said by that man.
Loved the line about the parachute and someone open the door, that would be great!
Thanks for the much-needed giggles.
The fart heard around the world.🌏
😎That is what I said.
Wow!😆As I'm scrolling comments, I'm giggling and saying "the fart heard 'round the wor...aw man!" (when I got to this one)🤣🤣
Bahahahahahaaaa 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
The fauci joke is actually a reality in Denmark. They rolled out ads on TH-cam and Instagram with health minister suddenly appearing in bathroom mirrors and cabinets, looking threateningly at people who were about to go out when they feel sick, or hug someone on the street 😂😂
Well said. Bravo, Jimmy!!
America's laughingstock, this man has no shame .
Yeah! Kimmel is PATHETIC!!!
@Charles Mendeley Both suck!
@@SonnyGTA You misspelled "awesome " !
"We always find a way to win" trump just admitted he cheats to win lol
That's what I heard too!!
I caught that too. It does sound like an admission that he will do anything to “win”. Why don’t his delusional groupies ever question any of his bullshit? I think I answered my own question.
Well he keeps on profiting with his loss. So replace we with I.
If you see the documentary “Unfit..” it talks about people who have golfed with him and how they all say he cheats. Even at golf 🙄
I remember an interview of him in the 80’s, talking about winners and losers and how he’s a winner.
Lastly, Roy Cohn his lawyer (&mentor, tied to the mob) from the 70’s-80’s... taught trump: Deny, deflect, never apologize, never admit defeat, attack your accuser, and win at all costs.
Yep, we see evidence of that.
Donald trump is literally incapable of complimenting someone without also talking about his own accomplishments, even when its really not the time
you know why because the main stream media and liberals shadowed all he's done and said nothing but bad about him. can you blame him. I guess you have all your information though
He has done great, he should be proud!!!
That happens when you're a human piece of garbage. It's all about him.
I wish him well for I need him to face charges in NEW YORK
That motor oil was running down Giuliani's face because he blew a head gasket.
That is a good one. Lol...
That is a new symptom of covid-19
I watch Jimmy Kimmel on my phone; start laughing before he even comes on....
All the little puppets at the ending gave a good laugh.
The expression of "milking " should be replace and called "trumping"
I'm laughing at your stupid joke.
I love Jimmy Kimmel; he never fails in making me laugh. ❤️😂
Haven't seen anything like this since Toronto mayor Rob Ford.
UNDERRATED COMMENT!!!!
I wish they were just getting high, this is worse.
R.I.P.
lol
"Count Flatula" That's funny.
I need to get myself one of them "Fauci on a Couchi" toys!
Omg...so ludicrous... Can't stop laughing.
Why the hell does Rudy get to stay in the hospital meanwhile patients across the country are literally dying to get in for care.
Yeah...that is right..at least some other inocent can be saved..
He has connections.
Because too many Americans don't want other people (i.e. poor and/or non-white people) to have health care even if it means they themselves have to pay more for it.
This is sad because I feel that anyone who says covid-19 is not real or say it's fake should not be allowed any medical services since they feel some type of way!
Because too many stoopid MAGA Donald vote for it 4 yrs ago
That’s Fouchi on a couchi 😂 segment was golden 😂
I was 💀 the entire way through. My stomach is killin me !
I will kinda miss the Drunk Trump segment because they’re funny 😄
I won't. If I never hear the name "Trump" ever again, it will still be too soon. I may be in favor of subjecting him to damnatio memoriae.
I want a Fouchi on a couchy
Ugh even when he's out of the white house we won't stop hearing about him
I’m sure they’ll find someone else to slow down.
@@penny1186
Me too!!!
On Jan 20, they should fire trump on Twitter. 😁
We should all fire Trump on twitter and make it a trending topic.
Jimmy: "Every parent in L.A. has been sentenced to three more weeks of Paw Patrol."
The dude's been cast in the upcoming Paw Patrol movie!
"I won two....so uh, that's pretty good too" sounded so pathetic
STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT. VOTE JON OSSOFF & RAPHAEL WARNOCK IN GEORGIA SENATE. TEAMWORK. BIDEN & HARRIS.
OBAMA BIN BIDEN......MARXISM
Biden: “Get off my plane”.
Sans parachute
@@joesikic6531 Lol
Harrison?
someone make that meme already!
Biden has no idea where he’s at at any time. It’s going to be “Camels” airplane. Joe will not even see the interior of the plane.
“And actual size” HAHAHA
That Fauci on a Couchi bit at the end was genuinely hilarious.
Disturbing and hilarious.
"The Devil Went Down to Georgia"
That's is now true.
Excellent observation, Charlie is proud!
The Donnie went down to Geirgia
He was lookin for a vote to steal
He was in a bind
Cause he was Way behind and needed someone to SQUEAL
so he came upon a scared man
Going by the name of Brian Kemp
I wanna keep my job you orange slob
So I'm not gonna pimp...
You all are brainwashed and you will never realize it.
He's so full of crap.... The gases are trying to get out so he doesn't pop.
His butt disagreed with his mouth
Lost it when cray-cray veered off into piss land. What the hell was that..? xD
You have a wicked heart Jimmy!
He failed to honor the memory of those lost at Pearl Harbor and our county's valiant and immediate declaration of war that started the highest industrial output by men and women in history, and our role in helping win the war against fascism (at least fascism abroad). You, sir (45) are a failed and flawed American.
He hasn’t honoured anyone or anything but himself and his fellow swamp creatures! He is disgusting!😡😷🇨🇦🇺🇸
I couldn't agree more sir. He has failed the people miserably leading to countless deaths. 1 of the top 2 worse commander and chief in history. Born in 74 and haven't seen anything remotely close to the division I see today.
He doesn't care about Pearl he has 210 million donated to him since the election at this rate he will have Putin's 400 million and 200 million extra by January . Stupid Goop Voters LOL
@@devinryan1364 division hasn't been this severe since pre-civil war. i'm 60, and have never ever seen ANY world leader poop on its country and allies globally like 45 is.
@@jenniferjuniper97 I know right. And he does it blatantly. It's mind boggling that so many support him after he's shown who he really is
Only Trump can say "We always win, we're all victims" and have a crowd cheer.
Also, only Trump can say “I like cucumbers“ and have a crowd cheer.
Populist
His supporters really are deluded fanatics.
Trump is also one of the only people that I have ever come across who can call the people who follow him poorly educated, and call people who have willingly done their civic duty stupid. While still getting this much support.
@@Rholmes987 well that's because his followers have less mental function than cucumbers, so of course they're going to cheer that 😂😂😂😂