Self Compassion
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 พ.ค. 2024
- It’s all too easy to be extremely tough on ourselves; we need - at points - to get better at self-compassion. Here is an exercise in how to lessen the voices of self-flagellation.
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FURTHER READING
“When we fail and mess up in our lives (perhaps a project at work goes wrong or a relationship ends), our moods are at risk of heading towards two extremes: self-pity on the one hand, where it is exclusively everyone else’s fault and we bathe in a sense of our innocence and purity. And on the other, self-flagellation, where we blame only ourselves, tear ourselves apart and constantly replay evidence of our waywardness and sheer stupidity...”
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Directed by Joe Bichard
Music and Sound by Skillbard
Additional Voice Talent by Sophie Koko Gate
Additional Animation by Joe Sparrow
Desk Space Generosity by Moth Collective, Studio AKA and Joe Sparkes #TheSchoolOfLife
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most people are hard on themselves because its the only way they've been taught to motivate anyone...so when they know as adults they should be motivated, they try being hard on themselves like teachers/bosses/parents might have been in the past, which can stifle motivation, ironically. if everyone were taught proper management skills, proper listening and coaching techniques, proper teaching methods, proper analytical skills, etc, we could all 'self-manage' a lot better, but without enough spare time and/or finances to afford exposure to those kinds of information, many are left trying to motivate themselves like a strict parent...which encourages rebellion. To some, forgiving the self can feel a little like giving in to failure...but if you look close enough, you'll see its the exact opposite
+Theo M. This comment is a gem.
+Theo M. I believe we don't really lack the time to learn the things you mention, its just our culture hasn't cought up to their importance.
+Theo M. Thanks for this comment.
Yes. This is a wonderful comment. I completely agree. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Theo.
Step one: Recognize thay your goals are not easy at all, faillures are more than expected.
Step two: Your family has issues like all others, still, they deserve love.
Step three: Don't think that most people are sucsessfull by the media, faillure is more common than you think.
Step four: Your life is in some way dependent of luck, not only by yourself.
Step five: You are not only what you achieve, remember that there is unconditional love.
Step six: although it is seems eternal, this pain will pass, reduce your expectations and take a long rest.
Your points are put forth very well!
@Iyaadh Shah. i think she meant that you should lower your expectation on things you can't really control
Thank you.
Fernando P thank you for the summary!
@@thycuteho lol me too😂
My mother personally told me she'd put a pillow over my face right from the start as she was afraid my crying would wake my grandparents, in whose cottage l was born. "Can't you shut that bloody kid up!?" First thing l heard. Mum took me home at 6 weeks and found an extra half-bottle of milk was all l needed to stop crying - l was 5kgs. "Dad hated you as you were such a big baby!". Being treated like crap l've always treated myself like that. Today l just want to be kind to myself. It's very difficult as l'm so stressed and restless. I'm 70, don't drink, smoke or take drugs - used to. It's a miracle that l'm alive and at liberty!! I'm going to have a long bubble-bath with incense and gentle piano music. Hang in there ❤
❤ ❤
"Bathe in the memory of a love independent of achievement." 😊
@@OP-xi1hv yass
What if no one has ever loved me in a way which I can feel it??
Shirley Wang I love you
Mena Bassous ❤️
Shirley Wang, I can relate to your sentiments…I was never told I was loved; in fact, I heard much that I and my siblings were hated objects of pain, from our parents.
Just know that there’s love still in you as there is in me..nobody can take away your heart that knows love. And how do I know your heart knows love..? You feel it when other hearts don’t know or show love. Be kind to yourself and know that you have enough love already inside your heart for you 🤗
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.
HAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
RomaInvicta hahahahahha
Yeah whats up with that.
It scares me
What a chilling noise! It set my teeth on edge!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😆🤣🤣😂😂😂
I've got a superb memory but I can't think of one time I was praised for anything when I was a child. Sometimes adults just suck! I find myself saying to my kids what I needed to hear when I was a child.
Had the same thoughts entirely. My response to you is that you must be a caring parent to give your kids the love you need. take that with you next time you parp in the bath lol
I know what you mean, I've always felt not enough by my parents, i was criticized all the time verbally and sometimes physically abused, although I was an A student and obedient daughter, these wounds never heals, but i make sure that my daughter feels loved and secure always.
Same. I heard my parents alright and they were calling me stupid, fat, and a burden. Terrible childhood
i feel glad and inspired that you created a cycle of love with your children.
We often think about hurtful memories so much that after a while mind remembers only those experiences and good moments just seem as if they never existed. I felt the same. What you need to do is look at old pictures of some moments when you had fun. Even if you have just one photograph of such a moment. Look at it again and again and try to remind yourself how that moment was and what made you feel good at that moment. Slowly.. with practice.. good memories will resurface.
This was just wonderful. :]
ohmigosh Jon Cozart!!!! love your stuff!!!
Hi!
Hi, Jon! Love your new video.
+Paint hi jon.
ommgggg haaaaiiiiiiiii
My whole life I've been taught to hate myself, to bottle up my feelings, to gag and restrain desire and ultimately seek only success because that is the only thing that will make me loved or worth anything.
I was emotionally abused my whole life up until fairly recently. I wasn't allowed to make friends.
I do have one best friend, however; but she is the only person in which interaction is not an exhausting façade. I simply do not know how to be close to others.
If you could, please make a video on how to be close to others / let people in / be yourself around them; because while most of your content for me is internalized wisdom validated, I think that a lot of us that have been through difficult situations and people could truly stand to benefit from such an exploration of a topic that isn't taught in school, nor very commonly by other people.
Thank you for your great content.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Clearly whoever fed you those lies all your life was a very damaged individual who was probably raised by someone who also had a deep crack in the marble.
It's wonderful and healthy that you are aware and seeking help/answers. Don't give up. You can break the cycle.
You are not the horrible things you've been labelled. You are a precious, valuable human being.
The negativity heeped on you all your life says more about the person dishing it out...and nothing about you. Positive self talk, self love, self loyalty and self respect will keep you on the right path.
You are worthy because you are here....a gift from the creator to all you come into contact with on your journey. All the best to you...you deserve it. Believe it.
Take good care of yourself!
It sucks, I had a similar past too. Didnt trust people or 'get' people and had imaginary friends all the way through high school as well. Rebelled on my parents, learned more about myself and life. Taking control of my life
I wonder how r u now since its been 3 years. I’ve been through the same situations as urs and curious if u have overcome them. Mind to share ?
I'm like you too, don't forget you're not alone. I'm sending love your way ❤️
I wonder if they ever made a video about making friends as you suggested. I doubt it because I don't think you are the problem - I think the problem is that there are very few people who aren't super screwed up, and even less who recognize their own faults, traumas, inconsistencies, etc.
3:50 "This too shall pass." That was one of my dad's two answers to everything. The other was, "You'll figure it out."
He was right.
I want for this thing with my female colleague to pass. He cannot choose her. But if he does that, it only means then they are indeed for each other and he isn't for me.
Eh there’s a better way of saying that
Absolutely love the animation!
savannahandstuff n
Same!.
Me too!
That is a great phrase "reduce expectations to zero" just what I needed to hear. A practical way of accepting a situation. Thank you.
The little guy running off saying "ain't I am scoundrel" cracked me up
Underwater fart at 1:24! Rubber duck's face at that moment is priceless!
I denied hang-out invites from several friends tonight to work on applications for the 8 different law schools I'm applying to within the next month. I NEEDED this video. Thanks School of Life. I'm going to take a long shower right now and go out to dinner with some friends tomorrow evening!
Unless you love law for its own sake, be careful. The legal industry is oversupplied and under-paid in pretty much every common law jurisdiction.
Gehan01 Thanks for the warning, this is very true.
one must be carefule with oneself where the glamore of others, be it ultra fit celebrities, ultra rich life style, or a career that looks very splendid to everybody but yourself, becomes an overwhelming reason to push oneself in that direction. Living the dream is nice, but.. "Are you living your own dream"?
Be sure to fart in the shower.
nice!!
If I had that cloud duvet I wouldn't want to get out of bed either
Hahahaha XD
Word!
Please play this over and over again. Or do new ones all the time like this. About self-compassion.This was just wonderful. Thanks so much.
Never In my life have I listened To sth more helpful... Not even from my psycotherapist. Literally wonderful, powerful and immense. ❤️❤️
Omg I died at the fart bubbles.
twice
and even the sound was perfect 😂
This is a beautiful video and editing style. It truly helped me this morning and the other video about inner voices as well, you don't know how much relief I feel when I see that it's not just me going through this and that there are good people out there who are taking the time to create something as meaningful and as caring as this channel does. I truly am grateful. Thank you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart “The School of Life”, I was feeling pretty low. Don’t stop making videos to help people understand their emotions better, especially in this endearing format. It’s very powerful!
I love this. Since graduating a year ago I've really been struggling with depression and dark thoughts. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!
I don't know about everyone else here, but this is actually just what I needed, a source of wisdom, encouragement, and personal development. Especially with three tough exams coming up. Wish me luck, and I hope everyone has a nice day!
You don't need luck! I'm sure you did everything in your power to do great!
@@wualdo hey! How are you now??
@@Mscurious05 I am better than I was ahaha
I spent the past year focused on attempting to control every aspect in my life only to be faced with the reality that I simply cannot do that for everything. This video gave me a great insight on time to have some self-compassion, I will spend some much needed time engaging in relaxing activities for a week. Thank you so much for the video, it all makes sense and has truly opened up my eyes.
I read about the difference between self-compassion and self-pity a while ago and I found it amazing. We need to remember this more often.
Also kudos on the animation! Simply beautiful, a true pleasure to watch
Step 8: Cut off toxic people.
Or try talking to them instead of just isolating them and yourself.
What if it's family, for example?
Definitely agree.
It doesn't matter if its family or a friend.
Getting rid of people who are emotional vampires or people who create negative whirlpools all around them can be difficult...
But you'll feel more freedom and more energy when you do.
Hell yeah. I cut off a few people and I’m happier than ever
so true
This has just popped up exactly when I needed it - I'm currently at work feeling very anxious. Thank you, School of Life!
All of your videos should be part of the school curriculum. Amazing insight, understanding and explanation of each topic is so clear and crisp.
I HATE THESE SOUND EFFECT but otherwise great video! It really touches upon very essential skills that most people overlook.
same here. creepy as hell
SAME I HATE THEM
Same. Somthing horrible about it, don' know what
Its an imperfection and thats one of the points of this video.
Same. I had to turn it off what a shame.
I wish I had found this video sooner. It is healing on so many levels.. thank you ❤️
This is an excellent video based on sound psychological concepts. Go School of Life! Defo one of my top five favourite TH-cam channels
This has got to be one of my favorites thus far...And I'm still a newbie to this channel!!! Thank you for helping me to analyze, deal with, and improve my way of life!
this video is quickly becoming more essential to my daily routine than brushing my teeth. I love you guys so much. (also, I still brush my teeth, and actually find enjoyment in doing that, too!)
Your videos always seem to come at just the right time in my life to help me feel better and stay on track. Thank you so much!
What a great message! We're not entirely sane or well. so, so true. It's difficult to forgive ourselves and move on, but your video really helps reinforce self-compassion. Thank you for this. And cool animation!
This is by far my favorite of the School of Life's videos, between the humor and the to the point message of going easier on yourself, for a naturally self critical person like myself this is a weekly watch
I just noticed this now, this channel puts subtitles in so many languages to reach more people. This is incredible.
The content of this channel is amazing; I love it so much. It's my favorite channel, and this is coming from someone who can't choose between things.
I love your channel for its versatility in topics and for the beautiful illustrations and voicing. I like tge fact that this phrase in the end "if you liked ... our shops" is now mute. You know what I would reckon very intersting? A video where you introduce the team members responsible for so much beauty! :)
One of them is the philosopher Alain de Botton and his voice is in most of the videos.
+ziemlich gut I acually quite enjoyed that bit hahaha.
Alain has such a soothing voice, I could listen to the guy all day!
Splendid job on the video! A truly useful and essential guide...And a big shout out to the amazing animator :D The school of life is a channel that just gets better with time. Thank you x
Thank you so much school of life. I mean these things are totally simple and at some ways it only requires common sense and logic to figure them out but the hardships we are soaked with somehow keeps us from thinking this way. It's always good to have someone who reminds us to be at peace with ourselves.
This video feels like the best realisation/animation/scenario/written work of the channel ! It's so efficient.
Another great topic! I'm completely amazed at the quality of production as with every other video you upload. Information, presentation and relevance is stellar and you somehow always manage to put it all together in a concise, simple manner. Thank you The School of Life, the internet seriously needs more material like yours.
excellent..please continue making more of these. i will certainly support this with a purchase from your store
I reached 70 now and meditate. Have done 4 years now, but this one is a great extra ! Indeed, because we often forget to be good to ourselves ! ❤
Truly one of the most brilliant and inspiring videos I have seen in my life. Applies to everyone in the world no matter of class.
Shared this one on Facebook and have a lot of people leaving comments that it really helped them. Thanks to the entire SOL team, you do wonderful work.
That "eeeeeeeeeee" part was annoying.
+The School of Life The part in the beginning is cute. Reminds me of the iconic THX surround sound test. Doing it before every chapter is a bit redundant though
+The School of Life I actually really enjoyed those moments and would love more. They were more like droning meditation vocals or Ohms, which fits the theme since it has to do with going inward.
They seem less grating if considered as a melody/instrument instead of actual voices.
+Vasileski88 I really enjoyed the "eeeeee" part. Good work to the animator!
+The School of Life to me it kinda was unsettling and gave me shivers.
+Vasileski88 i luved it the most
This was FANTASTIC! It's taken me such a long time to come to the conclusion of what I just saw and it's great to have it reaffirmed! THANK YOU!
Whoever is involved in this channel in anyway or form. salute to you (Y)
that EEEEEE sound makes me giggle XD
Those of us with misophonia did not, unfortunately. (Ow my ears)
Tough huh? I am sensitive to odd sounds, and that was definitely odd!!! EeeeEeEeeeeeEEEEEEEeee
Anna Bantayan 😂
Me too hahaha
1:30 What is with that aaaeeeeeeeeeeeee audio?
2:44 Holy shit, this is seriously getting to me after hearing it 4 times.
thx noise
Mihir Kumar hahaha I love it it's wired
that sound is weirdly soothing
it reminds us of the sound that would come on before movies in the 90s. I think DHS or DV something production or audio. I'm pretty sure it was on the Terminator
just really thankful for the existence of internet and channels like this
After all those times, here you are. The best answer to the question.
This is my favorite video. What a wonderful reminder during a bad couple of weeks.
+AsianInGlasses Oh no worries. It could always be much worse! But hurtful conversations with people we care about can bring us down when we least expect it.
always so bang on. These videos should be prescribed on the NHS lol
I love this series, I feel so much better and less stressed after each episode.
Nicely put, It's so easy to be hard on yourself and not acknowledge how far you've come under your circumstances and how temporary everything is.
This channel is really great today i really needed a video like this :)
Once again, Beautiful video as usual. Felt like sound effects were a little distracting, but doesn't matter, since you guys are awesome. Seriously. Awesome.
I appreciated the humor of the comic strip without it detracting from the lesson. This also came at the right time for me when I needed to be reminded on self compassion. Thank you
These videos are brilliant, and this one is particularly cute. It's the little detail and sound effects (mini photo kiss, passing wind, 'ah ha' contemplative moment echoed by the rubber duck ) that are just lovely.
Who's binge watching school of life?
Haha me
Animation and text were both amazing, the introduction sounds where very annoying.
i agree . sounds are really really annoying. i couldn t focus
I can see why someone might be annoyed by that audio lol. I think the audio is weird, but in a fun way, not annoying.
+TheJaseku Agreed. Hard to focus on the nice calm voice and cute animation with that weird creepy moany kinda stuff...
+Sam Smith eeeeeeeeeeeeeiiii?
I absolutely loved the intro sounds.
I love this channel.
The people who loved me in my childhood and were kind and given me value, well, that part is really tricky.
a big hug and thanks for the whole team of school of life , I really needed to watch this video , thanks for putting it out there in the world and all the other videos you have created , keep it up
Wonderful video as always, Alain. You are my idol. ♥
Best wishes to the whole team!
You are beautiful.
Are all your animations made by studios from the UK? Your channel is like a British-animation-skills-hall-of-fame. And that's a compliment.
+The School of Life I have to say, these ones were really good!
+The School of Life i'd like to make some animations too! XD
Steps 5 and 6 were critical to me. I need this. I know I can figure this out. I will have self-compassion!
I'm losing my mind at the utter brilliance of these vids
Thank you for this video.
Self Compassion is really a thing I want to learn and your words were (as always) very true and helpful.
Also the animations are adorable :)
This little video is adorable! I love the duck.
this animation and the sounds ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD
I love this channel even more, with each passing day 💚
Those transition noises were really annoying and ear piercing at times.
Pikayumyums nah they're awesome
Could you have turned them down?
feedback is fantastic ^^
Bahahha.. Brilliantly hilarious. Great content. Love this channel.
Another excellent video. I truly embrace the message that Alain delivers in this wonderfully made film. Definitely a big fan of this show.
I hope your number of subscribers continues to rise and rise! Your channel helps me fill aspects of my life that, being a freshman in college with big ambitions and being the first from my immediate family to be able to achieve them, I am hard pressed to fins else were. Thank you for your videos and you certainly among a few TH-camrs that I would gladly donate to, had I the money.
Very interesting message! Not entirely sure why every scene had to lead off with a THX sound test, though.
3:28 "rehearse the internalised voices of all those who've been kind to you".
see, that's the problem. who do you think taught me self-hatred?
me too. Here's to the journey of practicing self parenting...
This video got me through a tough time, it's very comforting!
Came here after Meryl Streep Golden Globe speech and stumbled upon the exact thing I needed. Thank you!
I fucking love your videos fucking Alain!
+Jean Pierre Fucking fuck fuck yes! Fucking thanks!
+The School of Life this stuff needs to be MANDATORY education. some many people are missing "this" from their lives.
Good stuff. :)
+The School of Life the sound of this video remind me of hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
Loved this! As a trauma therapist … This was so unique and whimsical! I loved the sound effects and animation!
I love this video. It fits perfectly for my situation. We tend to worry so much for nothing.
The School of Life, be careful with the animation, I quite like this style but there's too much going on, I kept missing what was being said because I was distracted by all the actions, as well as too many sound effects. Nice style, but don't let it suffocate the narration
Joe Lay So they should ass making great videos because you have a short attention span??? Got it. 😑
StargazingLoner Though they could’ve worded it better, they were just giving their opinion. The insult was very uncalled for...
Lisa I agree. The insult was not deserved.
StargazingLoner Insulting won't help. Find good friends ok?
Maybe you can just listen to the narration while lying down and just not looking at the visuals? I think you found this video overstimulating.
The animation is great! But, am I the only one who think the audio is too loud?
+Catalistic Yeah the sound effects suppress the talks.
Audio is creepy
Nope love it lol
@@joseluissosa2395 eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........
eeeeehhhhh
The audio quality here was beyond sublime.
I am being to hard on my self for a long time.. I needed this, thank you. I think I am going to watch this every once a while...
this animation is so nice
Was that the THX sound effect I heard in the beginning?
I didn't notice the first time I watched... thank you!
I'll include these in my meditation class. bless you for uploading this.
Best video of the week, somehow relaxing all the oppressive thoughts. Still have to learn to remember these when needed.
Treat Yo Self !
That was delightful :)
+rigoauebreturns
Please check out our channel for similar videos.
thanks
Your relationship with yourself is the most defining factor in shaping the kind of life you live.
Exactly what i needed at this point of my life. Thank you.
I hate to think that I'm not entirely in control. Because implications are too depressing.
nothing is black and white. A more proper analogy would be that one person plays a chance game with the cups while another plays the same game, only 100 times. He simply tried more often and made his own luck.
Could y'all make a video on self love/self hate?
the speaker's voice is so calm and chill.
Thank you. As a self-employed man in a crazy world who just wants to believe he's something special, this helped me to more clearly see how happy I can be if I just thought differently :D