How to be a Friend to Yourself

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มี.ค. 2017
  • The person we may find it hardest to be kind and sympathetic to is, surprisingly, ourselves. Yet being a friend to ourselves provides the only viable basis for living an emotionally fulfilled life.
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    FURTHER READING
    “Polite people have it instilled in them from an early age that they should not talk too much about themselves. A few comments aside, they should - to prove appealing - always ask the other about their lives or stick to impersonal topics found in newspapers, lest they be accused of that heinous charge: self-absorption…”
    You can read more on this and other subjects here: goo.gl/9hTxYK
    MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
    Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
    bit.ly/TSOLself
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    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
    Ana Mouyis
    www.anamouyis.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife

ความคิดเห็น • 1.1K

  • @chiarabiasotti4415
    @chiarabiasotti4415 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2788

    I want three lumpy monsters as friends

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Hi, That would be so Awesome!:) Thanks.

    • @maddscientist3170
      @maddscientist3170 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I have 3 lumpy monsters "as friends"...........LOL

    • @avi5
      @avi5 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Chiara Biasotti came in this section to ask for the same.. Now where are those 3 friends I ordered for myself 😂

    • @petersam5835
      @petersam5835 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Chiara Biasotti me too

    • @Geordina
      @Geordina 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I'm a Cookie Monster. Is that lumpy enough? ;)

  • @noodlery7034
    @noodlery7034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +647

    “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care about their opinions more than our own.” - Marcus Aurelius

    • @auraandrei146
      @auraandrei146 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Good quote but I don’t care what other people think about me.

    • @davedurnum6500
      @davedurnum6500 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@auraandrei146 then I guess it wasn’t a quote for you.

    • @kathy9124
      @kathy9124 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I don’t love myself but I am self-centered and yet I still care about what other people think...a paradox.

    • @jacob.vandrplas3415
      @jacob.vandrplas3415 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is totally not true for everyone,

  • @WAA-uj3ow
    @WAA-uj3ow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +462

    "Everyone fails, we just don't know about it. "

    • @indridcold8433
      @indridcold8433 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think I hace known every time I have fallen. When I fall, it is not very subtle in my life. It is a serious failure in my life every time I fall.

  • @jackiehouse529
    @jackiehouse529 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1330

    It's so weird hearing his calming voice say things like "shit head"

    • @abbyadda1
      @abbyadda1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Jackie House hahaha 👌👌🤣😍

    • @TaunellE
      @TaunellE 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lmao me too.

    • @mlm7521
      @mlm7521 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm sure Alain relishes the opportunity to do so too.

    • @jessicaj1189
      @jessicaj1189 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Omg 🤣

    • @none377
      @none377 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Me too I didn't think they swear in those videos.

  • @eddyruiz9014
    @eddyruiz9014 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1308

    The School of Life is becoming the best friend I ever had.

    • @khadijasaghir5803
      @khadijasaghir5803 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      yes so true school of life is indeed a good friend

    • @CK77460
      @CK77460 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yes agreed, I listen to some of their videos on repeat so that the information sinks in and plus it is comforting.

    • @movingon2081
      @movingon2081 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The best friend I never had

    • @oftenwrong.
      @oftenwrong. 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed!!!

    • @marcpetion5714
      @marcpetion5714 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      True

  • @smc1942
    @smc1942 6 ปีที่แล้ว +675

    After going through the worst depression of my life, I remember stopping on a whim, & buying myself a Dairy Queen Blizzard.
    I was amazed how good that tasted after the hell I had been through.
    Give YOURSELF a RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS.
    You'll feel better.
    And you'll enjoy it everytime you think about it. Even year's later.
    Large Georgia Mud Fudge, if you were curious.

    • @ivy23173
      @ivy23173 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      how did you get over it?

    • @freykiva3887
      @freykiva3887 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      When I was feeling sad I buy myself things but still couldn't move on about such events that had happened to me, I hope I could be like you.

    • @marykam6708
      @marykam6708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      true!

    • @smc1942
      @smc1942 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Andra 23 ;
      I learned that two things caused most of my problems; Memory & Imagination.
      I was getting upset (be that rage or tears) by the memory of abuse from Toxic family.
      Ditto by thinking of what MIGHT happen if I allowed these people back into my life.
      You must understand, In 2016, after a lifetime of abuse, I cut those Toxic people from my life. I went 100% NO CONTACT.
      Yet the worst depression came a year later. I continued reliving all their toxic behavior. Decade's of it!
      Then I realized it wasn't necessary. I was wasting my freedom from those people by thinking about all the times they had wronged me. I was getting upset at these Memories.
      I started reminding myself, they are only memories now. And I will NEVER allow those toxic people back into my life. So STOP thinking about them! Think about something else. They are NOT worth all the effort. They are TOXIC, & they are NEVER going to change! Stop wasting my freedom from them by thinking about them.
      Likewise, STOP playing WHAT IF, because they will NEVER AGAIN be allowed in my life.
      Don't waste your time or emotions on Memory & Imagination. Live your life. Make NEW memories to replace the old ones.
      No, you will not completely forget the bad. Just don't focus on it. Think of the good times in your life, if you must look back.
      Better to look forward. Move away from the bad, so you aren't around the reminders everyday. Take no reminders with you. Start fresh. Make new memories. Try not to look back. It's a waste of time, energy, & effort. So is playing WHAT IF....
      Memory & Imagination.
      They can be your friend or your enemy. For me, they were the enemy. But no longer. I focus on the good times from my past, & I don't play what if...
      And if I find myself thinking about my Toxic family, I remind myself I cannot truly allow myself to get upset by Memory & Imagination. It's a waste of time.
      I hope this helps.
      Best Wishes.

    • @ClaraSantos-kb2xu
      @ClaraSantos-kb2xu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Interesting how I was just thinking of getting myself one 5 seconds ago

  • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
    @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2648

    We are kinder to others because we don't know them.
    Forgiving the flaws of others is easier beacause they are not our own, we don't face their trials, we don't bleed their blood, we don't live with their shame.
    So we can pity them, we can comfort them, we can forgive them because we'll never now them the way we know ourselves.

    • @Couga1337
      @Couga1337 7 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      mephistopheles the silent chief couldn't you just viceversa that? because you know yourself that way it's easier to be so accepting of yourself because of the qualities you see in yourself

    • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
      @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 7 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      Couga1337 It's not that easy because someone who knows themselves, also knows of the daunting disparity between his ideal self and his actual self.
      We may believe this realisation is also just as apparent to others through empathy, but we'll never really understand or know it as they do.
      So we are good to them because our ignorance of who they are, frees our ideal perceptions from our rigid realities.

    • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
      @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 7 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Couga1337 It's not that easy because someone who knows themselves, also knows of the daunting disparity between his ideal self and his actual self.
      We may believe this realisation is also just as apparent to others through empathy, but we'll never really understand or know it as they do.
      So we are good to them because our ignorance of who they are, frees our ideal perceptions from our rigid realities.

    • @viccorum4640
      @viccorum4640 7 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Familarity breeds contempt. I didnt like who i was so i changed; similarly the more i learn about another i dislike more but i cant change them. Instead, i distance myself to keep from hurting others.
      It's a toil with little reward.

    • @sunbro9076
      @sunbro9076 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      And sometimes a weird stranger may show up in your Nexus and tell you about everyone's flaws to gain your trust. Then you know that all your acquaintances and friends are much more than they want you to know.

  • @gamophyte
    @gamophyte 7 ปีที่แล้ว +355

    I would spend hours on end dispensing advice and love and then sit alone realizing I pretty much need to heed everything I said for my own self.

  • @datawizard130
    @datawizard130 7 ปีที่แล้ว +551

    Practice kindness, compassion and have a sense of purpose.

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Hi, Good thoughts to give our president:/ if he would just listen! Thanks.

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Hi CkassCTREV, OMG! You are just BatShit Crazy! Everything you said is an absolute Lie! Trump "Donates" other peoples money and takes the credit,his "Charitable foundation" was shut down by the state of New York for "Gross improprieties" He's been sued more than 3600 times and he's banned by most domestic banks from receiving any kind of loans.
      He's preposed cutting off the "Meals On Wheels"food program for needy seniors and the disabled! Really compassion? That's what you call that!? Stop reading BriteBart and Van Jones they are both racist,reactionary,fiction. It takes Empathy to be compassionate and he has none, and it sound like you don't either! Thanks.

    • @mno7493
      @mno7493 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ....to yourself.

    • @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385
      @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      That should be everybodies goal and dream in life to be more compassionate and caring or kind.

    • @marilu4691
      @marilu4691 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      easier said than done but I am working on it

  • @RowantarotBlogspot
    @RowantarotBlogspot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    This video spells out in 4 minutes what it's taken me 2 years of therapy to unravel.

  • @alinahMQuantum
    @alinahMQuantum 4 ปีที่แล้ว +169

    Ever since I become best friend to my own self, I discover that I could love others better especially my own family. I become a better person, calmer than my old self. And..people can feel that. They compliment me more and they look sincere delivering those compliments. I think loving myself is simply magic.😊

    • @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385
      @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Well said

    • @C0smicun1vers3
      @C0smicun1vers3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Self love is the key to happiness ❤️

    • @AD-hs9su
      @AD-hs9su 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes❤️

    • @cesar3989
      @cesar3989 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's cool and all but how did you get there? Daily journaling? Meditation? (I'm doing that).

    • @natasha5553
      @natasha5553 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@cesar3989 talking to yourself also helps

  • @MedicEne
    @MedicEne 7 ปีที่แล้ว +233

    I'm a great friend to myself, we hang out all day every day for over 25 years and don't hate each other... Yet

    • @pradipmalakar7871
      @pradipmalakar7871 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      MedicEne... Same here buddy. I am my best friend. And it helps me be good friends with others too.

    • @davidamysteaq8140
      @davidamysteaq8140 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Awesome... how can we love others properly when we haven’t taken the time to get to know and love ourselves. ✌🏽❤️

    • @singing.winnie
      @singing.winnie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      these comments are so beautiful and hopeful. i will try to learn about myself, my flaws, and my beauty. i will try to embrace them ALL. i will be a good friend to myself by accepting my flaws and encouraging myself consistently, like good friends do. :)

    • @ted.angell7609
      @ted.angell7609 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You sleep together too😄

  • @sofiavillalba2404
    @sofiavillalba2404 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1126

    The content and themes developed in this channel are so interesting, but the art in it is SOOO OUTSTANDING. It's really creative and calming to see. It express the things that are being said pretty well. Beautiful, thank you.
    Lots of love and blessings from Argentina.

    • @mtfgang6012
      @mtfgang6012 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Faia Halo I agree

    • @maririvo
      @maririvo 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Faia Halo que lindo ver otro argentino por acá! nice channel.

    • @sofiavillalba2404
      @sofiavillalba2404 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Marina Rivosecchi oh sí, saludos querida Marina ! 💠

    • @damiandellamico7596
      @damiandellamico7596 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      ¡Hola Faio Halo y Marina Rivosecchi! Otro argentino acá. ¡Saludos cordiales a las dos!

    • @JaimeMatarazzo
      @JaimeMatarazzo 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Así me dan ganas de armar un grupo Argento!
      Mirá qué loco.. a una hora de distancia

  • @jlele2924
    @jlele2924 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I can’t even focus on watching this with the tears running down my face.

  • @johnmyers3106
    @johnmyers3106 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    "Love yourself, then you'll love your neighbor" ~ Wisdom.

    • @soslothful
      @soslothful 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No, some neighbors are just pieces of shit.

    • @saarbaryosef42
      @saarbaryosef42 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Stupid Flanders.

    • @danielf.6770
      @danielf.6770 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hate my neighbors! Snitches!!!

  • @TheMaburg
    @TheMaburg 7 ปีที่แล้ว +314

    Life, is going to be great...

    • @hn6498
      @hn6498 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      mark burg Sure

    • @Kartagoooo
      @Kartagoooo 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Love that Trainspotting reference.

    • @TheMaburg
      @TheMaburg 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Don`t forget that it`s all we have,so we should make it great...

    • @gangstashanksta
      @gangstashanksta 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ............Who are you lying too.

    • @aliciagodinez8004
      @aliciagodinez8004 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dragon Ball Super Is NOT Canon 4t5 revue

  • @tyeboyce
    @tyeboyce 7 ปีที่แล้ว +614

    Thank you (: I often forget to care/support myself like I do for my friends or even strangers like the video said . I got arrested reminding people to be happy (graffiti) and not to be to hard on themselves lol.

    • @sajidaassaf174
      @sajidaassaf174 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      tye boyce aww

    • @Carcosahead
      @Carcosahead 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      lol

    • @Healingson
      @Healingson 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      bloody criminal

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You seem like a cool guy, Tye. I like your graffitte idea.

    • @tyeboyce
      @tyeboyce 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      We all have the ability to be good and bad also building lists isn't the best idea but you're hearts in the right place. It's about choice. World greatest criminal graffiti master me lol all I will say with graff is make sure you can run faster then the police.

  • @18YOLOL
    @18YOLOL 7 ปีที่แล้ว +672

    The problem is, friends don't know us like we know ourselves. That's why it's so hard to give ourselves encouragement, or the benefit of the doubt, because deep down we know why we deserve the hate we give ourselves.

    • @BigHenFor
      @BigHenFor 7 ปีที่แล้ว +133

      18YOLOL Bull. Too much self-hatred is as bad as too much self-love. Both are based on self-deception. You are human. You will screw up sometimes. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on.

    • @azraelexlibris4663
      @azraelexlibris4663 7 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      there is no such thing as too much self love. You think of the blindness that comes with people you know that like to express their love for themselves, but that is narcism, it's the exclusive love for oneself. And what they lack is sight, but the pure love for oneself can never be bad.

    • @ammarelnosh8927
      @ammarelnosh8927 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      18YOLOL that is a very valid point. However, I think that sometimes we are overly confident that we understand ourselves very well although our self image may be very skewed depending on recent circumstances.

    • @palasatena7071
      @palasatena7071 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Please, don't do it. I lost my friend because he thinks he does not deserve me. I told him I love him and that I don't care about his mistakes, I have mine too, but he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I don't know what to do, I love him and miss him so much. But for some reason (maybe he wants to make me hate him or distance himself from me) he is being rude. I can't hate him abd I hope someday he is going to talk to me again.

    • @sebastianplank6466
      @sebastianplank6466 7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      18YOLOL but does it matter? Ur friends have real reasons why they fail, yet u accept and care for them. Why shouldn't u do that for yourself?

  • @batofdestiny7801
    @batofdestiny7801 7 ปีที่แล้ว +183

    Thanks. I needed this.

  • @forgetfulstranger
    @forgetfulstranger 7 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    youve got a friend in you

  • @blacknoise6
    @blacknoise6 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Loving myself is probably the hardest challenge for me because my inner war ultimately pits me against myself. Criticism and compliments from the outside are fine and dandy, but no one gets me the way I do, and so they simply pass me off as "weird." Sometimes, I may appear apathetic or too blunt with my expressions, which usually leads to misinterpretation and subsequent drama. For instance, finding humor in the middle of a medical emergency to null the possibilities and thoughts of death and doom. But I'm the only one who knows well how and why I behave. Regardless of how I respond, all forks in the road run to one grand question: "Did I do right by myself, and if not, how could I change?"

  • @arete7884
    @arete7884 7 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    Lets get some enthusiasm in the depressed comment section.

    • @ten_2_life58
      @ten_2_life58 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yay, happy times. Woo

    • @pytrannysaurus69
      @pytrannysaurus69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Areté i cant be enthusiastic but here it is, some positive nihilism. It’s all going to be fine and you can’t change it. It’s the universe’s way and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Stop trying and accept you’re a cool fucking human ( or god, fae, what-fucking-ever-i-dont-discriminate)

    • @sparkingcontentment1168
      @sparkingcontentment1168 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      YEEEAAAAHHH!!

  • @DayshiftPat
    @DayshiftPat 7 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Holy god, this was really helpful. I actually have a lot of trouble making the most out of the "me" time I have when all my friends ditch me sometimes, and this video (along with several others) always makes me hopeful that I can cope with the ups and down of life. So thank you :)

  • @GrandElemental
    @GrandElemental 7 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I've yet to do anything more difficult in my life than trying to get back up from years and years of ever-growing self-hatred. Thanks to this channel, some really thoughtful comments and a couple of books I've finally made some progress, even though it's still pretty minor when considering the big picture. It feels good, but damn is it hard and easy to slip up!

    • @MagisterialVoyager
      @MagisterialVoyager 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Undoing existing pattern in our life is very challenging, but it is a work that one must do to be truly independent, free, and mature. Props to you for doing your work!

  • @coffeepot3123
    @coffeepot3123 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    After 5+ years of being friends with this other guy.
    Only now did i open up and share some of my true self.
    Turned out to be well received and i'm glad i did it.
    Feel a lot closer now.

  • @cynic_0546
    @cynic_0546 7 ปีที่แล้ว +867

    My only friend is my crippling depression

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Hi Cynic, Been there but I got help by joining a therapy group and with their help I found a new way of dealing with a lot of my depression and anxieties.
      Just talking it out can do a world of good and being with other people, in itself makes you feel better. Give it a try! Good Luck. Thanks.

    • @4thgradedropout980
      @4thgradedropout980 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Move to Cleveland! That's their major export!

    • @unapologeticallykev
      @unapologeticallykev 7 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @Cynic That's what it wants you to think. ;)

    • @the1wholikesthis
      @the1wholikesthis 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      My simple advice to you is: Be grateful. Consider every little thing at the end of the day and say thank you for it. It may work for you too.

    • @biggus6633
      @biggus6633 7 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      "Hello darkness my old friend..."

  • @MrIsaacSlam
    @MrIsaacSlam 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "What progress have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Such a man is a friend to all. That, is true progress". - Seneca

  • @oftenwrong.
    @oftenwrong. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    When my parents died I lost my best friends. I have never replaced them.

    • @sheethaljoseph1364
      @sheethaljoseph1364 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Don't be sad.I also don't have friends . Everything will be ok.

    • @03cnutty
      @03cnutty 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m really sorry to hear that I couldn’t imagine as my dad is my best friend, along with my mom but in a different way. Hope you’re doing okay. Stay positive beat you can

    • @danielesteve8359
      @danielesteve8359 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They always replace us. That's what people do...

    • @Elizabeth-yg2mg
      @Elizabeth-yg2mg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I envy you for having had such nice people for parents. Mine both had personality disorders and were very mean.

  • @arturo_cruz
    @arturo_cruz 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love how this channel gives profound messages in a digestible format. This is actually a very deep life realization that many people only realize late in life.

  • @yaboiaintshit4045
    @yaboiaintshit4045 7 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Not am I only a bad friend to myself, I'm a bad friend with others
    Nice.

  • @carlgregory9776
    @carlgregory9776 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is what I really now! Sometimes I forget to be friends with myself at times.

  • @thisisbob1001
    @thisisbob1001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Yes very good. I now imagine a virtual friend who follows me round all the time and gives me encouragement 🤓

  • @alice.L.
    @alice.L. 7 ปีที่แล้ว +353

    All i want is a good caring friend but nowadays "friends" make excuses that they are too busy to hang out with u(not even 1h a week or in a month, u can see that u arent important to them anymore). I am really caring, friendly and like hanging out but since they get distant and don´t put effort keeping the friendship alive then WHY DO U EVEN BOTHER??? Social media has RUINED EVERYTHING. People don´t even give compliments anymore which can make your mood better, boost confidence etc.

    • @spookeymo
      @spookeymo 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Alice Madness i wouldn't agree with the whole statement. i found that I'm distancing myself from some of my friends, not wanting to spend time with them on weekends etc but enjoying their company in school or so. and it definitely doesn't have anything to do with social media, it is specifically about them

    • @spookeymo
      @spookeymo 7 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Alice Madness yet i still have friends who i care about, even though I'm not so good at showing it. my point is, maybe they're just not friends for you. don't blame social media, if anyone seems to be affected by them - dump them immediately

    • @markb.sandoval2198
      @markb.sandoval2198 7 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Alice Madness it was always like this hahah, it's not about them but more about you. dont make it something Special to have friends. just enjoy life by yourself, have your shit together and people will be there to have fun with. just accept it as it is

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Hi Alice, I tend to agree. The only "Real People" I in my life are the other members of my therapy group, otherwise it's communication through this mechanical box, day in and day out!:P
      I think we've lost a big part of our shared humanity to technology and convince. We live our lives from "Screen to Screen" and real life just get's in the way. That's why a whole lot of us are just sad and lonely.
      Btw, I like your name, it made me smile:) Thanks.

    • @zix1257
      @zix1257 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      maybe ppeople think you're clingy and annoying

  • @yolanankaine6063
    @yolanankaine6063 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    You’ve done more for me than a thousand therapy session combined ever could

  • @hillystudies487
    @hillystudies487 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The Beauty of Freedom is Immeasurable
    The Satisfaction of Dignity is Divine
    You Do Not Need to be Someone You Are Not
    JUST you are FINE
    The world Needs You
    Because There is Only One You
    And Only You Can Be You, Like You Do
    LOVE from Cappadocia!

  • @cjlovestaylah
    @cjlovestaylah 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This came out 7 years ago, but it resonates so much. Thank you so much for this. Sending love to whoever reads this :) You're not alone. It's never too late to learn how to love yourself.

  • @Sara-rr9ss
    @Sara-rr9ss 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Let's just take a moment to appreciate how beautiful this animation is.

  • @twinkiesmaster69
    @twinkiesmaster69 7 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I'm an frnemy to my self

    • @mussaalphaxard985
      @mussaalphaxard985 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The M how many of you are inside your body? it happens you hate the "me" but in deep love companionship with "I" or the other way around.
      if you can arrange The Personal Peace Summit... negotiate with both of you (mind,heart,will and body) that you're ONE.

  • @andra_
    @andra_ 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Another great video! I often hold my own hand when I feel like I need to be my own friend. It's a symbolic gesture saying " I have my own back" and it often leaves me feeling better

  • @flavia2328
    @flavia2328 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this! Thinking of yourself as a friend to yourself puts things in such a different perspective, especially in times when you're being particularly hard on yourself. It'd make life so much easier if we always treated ourselves like a good friend would. Thanks for reminding us!

  • @heitita
    @heitita 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Oh my god thank you so much for making this video. Recently i felt like no one's really care about me, and i stressed a lot on how i was losing my trust in my own ability. I feel like im not capable of doing anything the way i expect myself to be.This video gave me enlightenment and comfort. I'll try my best to be my very own best friend :)

  • @triplehelix3207
    @triplehelix3207 7 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    I am not going to go easy on myself, I'm too much of a fuck up for that.

    • @BigHenFor
      @BigHenFor 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dylan Salvitti Friends who want you to grow won't enable you to screw up. They will simply ask you: "what are you going to do about it?" and leave you to learn the hard way.

    • @triplehelix3207
      @triplehelix3207 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I just find the idea as forgiving to myself as i am to my friends kind of shortsighted, i know myself far too much to be forgiving and enough of them to know why i should be for them. Whenever i work with other people, i ensure that whenever i make i'm upfront about it and do try to fix it or make sure i bear the brunt of whatever damage it causes. I forgive other people because i don't know them as well as myself but that's no excuse not to be hard on people and yourself when needed.

    • @fortuneunfaded
      @fortuneunfaded 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Dylan Salvitti you'll use this method of learning until it exhausts you (or vice versa) and realize you have a choice. to choose how you think and feel about yourself despite the circumstance.
      to honestly be conscious and try and say the statement you just did is hardly possible, simply because you know it not to be true. fear and false ego feed from your negativity. deep down you know you are lovable, you are loved and worthy of it, and what you "deserve" if anything is true acceptance for who you are, which you can start by owning where you are and accepting/forgiving the pitfalls, faults, you think you have or have experienced
      "screwing up" is heavily and badly stigmatized. failure is the recipe for success but peeps like to put on this show of invulnerability or say that losing is bad. our culture has us confused with its perceived vulnerability and fear

  • @reemhosam6061
    @reemhosam6061 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "I love you, school of life" was the first thing I found myself mumbling once the video was finished. I love you, school of life. You are helping me through a lot, specifically through this difficult phase of my life. Please, don't ever stop

  • @augurelite
    @augurelite ปีที่แล้ว

    3:28 that rain cloud and gesture with the umbrella is such a relatable metaphor

  • @angelayala654
    @angelayala654 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love the art.
    I'm just frustrated that I found these videos years after I started doing most of what's in them.
    I'm glad that these videos exist to guide others, so that they don't have to go it alone.

  • @korejskavpraze1411
    @korejskavpraze1411 7 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I love those blue red yellow things they are so cuuute :)

  • @ishadawaher-bakhos1048
    @ishadawaher-bakhos1048 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Alain, you're one of the best things to ever happen to this planet. I'm deeply thankful.

  • @SayWhat1067
    @SayWhat1067 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I don't know how to thank you but these videos have helped me so much with getting out of a rut. It's nice to be reminded that life is difficult, success isn't straight forward and self compassion is as needed as self criticism. Thank you!

  • @wifeofSauron
    @wifeofSauron 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you Alain De Botton, you have helped me through countless moments of self-doubt, breakups, and loneliness. I was never taught how to process my emotions (I did not even know that was an option) and I’m glad I can take initiative to do so with the School of Life.

  • @countingstars8029
    @countingstars8029 7 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    love love love this 💞 be a good friend to yourself

  • @amicst
    @amicst 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Having that point of view, being a friend to your own self can truly change your life. It gives you that distance you need to evaluate situations and be sensible about what happens in your life. You just become less harsh to yourslef and that's a truly beautiful act. Great video as always thanks to the School of life ❤

  • @Sunn777
    @Sunn777 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    How true that we overlook ourselves in so many diff ways... like nurturing, forgiving, accepting...

  • @zaboza2011
    @zaboza2011 7 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    it's said that "the enemy of my enemy, is my friend" .. but if I'm the enemy of myself, am I also my friend?..*sips on a cup of coffee*

    • @jos9140
      @jos9140 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thamer_ss no one drinks coffee anymore. Its TEA. Ok sorry for the random reply. Although i see what u mean 🤔🤔 *hmmmm*

    • @amelieann3478
      @amelieann3478 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      No one drinks tea anymore. Everyone drinks boba

  • @thebeesknees2762
    @thebeesknees2762 7 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I really need help with this. I pour so much love into other people and when I come up short in any way I am very critical of myself. I can't possibly call out other people for letting me down when I might need them... I just think about what I could do to be better. I mean it all works fine until you trust someone who doesn't give you the same care. And then you feel awful.

    • @mno7493
      @mno7493 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      theBeesKnees be a friend to yourself :)

    • @abbyadda1
      @abbyadda1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      theBeesKnees I think we have all been there, I'm still learning actually. This morning I found myself googling how to be happy, that is really sad I realized! But this is how life works through pain we learn we grow :)

  • @dailyrandomsmiles380
    @dailyrandomsmiles380 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really needed this today.
    Thanks for pointing out not only how to encourage myself, but also know what to see in a 'true' friend. :)
    I hope everyone has a great day~

  • @lllooolll327
    @lllooolll327 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i would rather write you all in "school of life" a personal email of sorts. but this video is okay too i guess. ill have to say that you have helped me find answers and solutions to most of my personal problems and existential crisis. ive gone through most of my life in missery. being a self loathing, self destructive philosopher, I have not been very kind to myself. both mentally and physically. only the last couple of weeks Ive learned to look in the mirror and feel something else than disgust. and believing in myself and what i am capable of.
    Ive got to thank you for providing this content, and for being a source of information for people like me. to help bring out the best in ourselves.
    Best, Tom

  • @HibaAydeed
    @HibaAydeed 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I've never needed this more than now.

  • @kek6210
    @kek6210 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    When you're so lonely you try to befriend yourself, and you decline

  • @runeyugi
    @runeyugi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm glad that I'm already good at this. I learned this from experience a while back and the lesson demolished my personal self consciousness. Thanks for spreading it.
    P.S. I love the animation quality as always! Keep it up, you are currently my favorite TH-cam channel.

  • @saran6651
    @saran6651 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lovely concept. Thank you so much for the work you're putting into these, as I believe they truly help people understand themselves and others better. They have certainly helped me.

  • @dashneelkaur5171
    @dashneelkaur5171 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Im here because after the lockdown I'm going to tell my "friend" that I don't want to be her friend anymore. Because life is leading me to another path. I want to start everything all over again.

  • @VineetGairola
    @VineetGairola 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "Jaha kahi pe kuch bhi nahi tha, wahi tha wahi tha"
    Translation - Where there was nothing, it was there only.

    • @sakshipathak7298
      @sakshipathak7298 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      These lines made me speechless 😶😶

  • @marzipin
    @marzipin 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    these videos make me cry

  • @wyattromo766
    @wyattromo766 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think this video has made me truly comprehend what it means to love yourself. What seemed so out of reach before was merely a tool I already possessed, I just never have thought to use it for myself.

  • @audreyyyhappened6831
    @audreyyyhappened6831 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I believe I am the best friend to myself. That is why I give real comments and be harsher because I want my 'best friend' to be the best of her. I want to be real to my ' best friend ' , because I believe she could be better. Simply giving false answers aren't making my 'best friend ' learning what she did wrong and how a failure she actually is. I want myself to be the best version of me. My ' best friend ' being at her very best.

  • @dabidoe
    @dabidoe 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I like the animation style, and the message is spot on. Anyone struggling with self esteem and self care should remember that you can't really love anyone else unless you love yourself first.

  • @ephoo4609
    @ephoo4609 ปีที่แล้ว

    This channel is just too beautiful... I feel incredibly lucky to have found its videos

  • @rolancamp8551
    @rolancamp8551 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was great, seems so simple and yet when shit hits the fan you can easily turn on yourself. Good message thanks

  • @kenichidc
    @kenichidc 7 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    I don't know how to keep a conversation engaging, barely know how to talk to ppl

    • @chrish6001
      @chrish6001 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I've often felt like that. Practice will help. I suggest you research a list and visit some area Toastmasters clubs, then join one (or an Agora Speakers club). These are non profit groups that don't advertise much so few know they even exist let alone how beneficial they are. Gaining new skills and interacting with positive, encouraging people makes most people feel better! It's fun and you help others too. Many felt the same as you. Research a list of questions to ask OTHERS. Most people like to talk about themselves. Sounds odd but they'll remember YOU being an interesting person if you get them to talk about themselves. You get to practice listening skills which are even more important.

    • @viccorum4640
      @viccorum4640 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      You learn through struggle and confusion. Get away from the comforts, they will devour your person.

    • @dabidoe
      @dabidoe 7 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      The book "intimate connections" by david burns addresses this and it's not because you're boring or dull that you feel the need to bail, it's your fear of intimacy and lack of self esteem. Give yourself a fucking hug and chant "i'm a fucking winner/I'm unstoppable/the world can suck my nuts" every day until you believe yourself in the mirror as corny as it sounds. Good luck buddy.

    • @JazzJackrabbit
      @JazzJackrabbit 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Practice active listening. Pick up what your conversation partner is talking about and pull the strings on it. Engage them by asking about their opinions and their plans on what they mentioned. Challenge them so as to generate banter.
      Most of all: practice makes perfect. No one becomes a master speaker by sitting home alone. Go out there and makes mistakes. It's the only way to learn.

    • @kyrell8334
      @kyrell8334 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      dabidoe is it a good read?

  • @thaiscaramori
    @thaiscaramori 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The School of Life definitely, definitely changed my life...for better! I feel more realistic about every situation in my life and with that, more confident.

    • @thaiscaramori
      @thaiscaramori 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I usually recommend to everybody

  • @uuguuguug
    @uuguuguug 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you. This is just in time. Feeling especially down tonight, and have been watching the video for several times. Thank you.

  • @lacornuta
    @lacornuta 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is also a brilliant reminder of what a good friend is

  • @Kidneyjay
    @Kidneyjay 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for the reminder :)

  • @nkanyisoinnocentkhwane3752
    @nkanyisoinnocentkhwane3752 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Nothing better than School of life, on a bad day or a good day 🤓

  • @NinjaBunni13
    @NinjaBunni13 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Always showing up with the kind of video I need right when I need it SchoolOfLife🖤

  • @Lalameniaa
    @Lalameniaa 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    i sometimes repeatedly watch this channel's videos and cry on the corner alone.

  • @atosdejusticaful
    @atosdejusticaful 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    TSL has the best video editing on YT.

  • @timothymccaskey4362
    @timothymccaskey4362 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I don't know, it seems that every time I try to be a friend with myself,
    I end up being a friend with benefits.

  • @abhilashajha8822
    @abhilashajha8822 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dear people who suffered emotional neglect in childhood and also everyone else,
    You in no way were responsible for the fallacies of your parents. When we are abused as children we tend to think we don't deserve love and kindness from people around us and end up sabotaging their efforts. Remember that you are unique, you are beautiful, you are lovable. Love yourself unconditionally, shower yourself with love for being you. See you will make mistakes but if you love yourself you will find the strength to say "It's okay, its human nature to be like this". The assurance from yourself will give you joy even when things go very wrong. You will be your own lover, friend and parent, glowing with inner warmth, helping people discover their own glow and helping them love themselves. This will give you the zeal to live, and even in darkest times, you will be grateful for your existence.
    Love yourself the way you want people to love you and never once will you feel that life is not worth living.
    Keep glowing,
    Love,
    Human,
    Earth,
    2019
    P.S: The message of self-love is urgent. It might prevent someone from committing suicide, it helped me.

  • @tipicamentesonriente
    @tipicamentesonriente 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this videos!
    They are perfect, with the concepts and better yet, that voice is absolutely fantastic!

  • @ASMinor
    @ASMinor 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Be yourself. Figure out what you love and do it everyday. Ignore what other people think, and you'll notice that the right people will begin to gravitate towards you. You'll also start to notice that you care less and less about what others think, because you're perfect the way you are.

  • @deborasnowflakes2409
    @deborasnowflakes2409 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    ***Who is here because you dont have a bestfriend or a friend?***

    • @cherry2509
      @cherry2509 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me and I've learned to be ok with it

  • @sweetbutterfly8585
    @sweetbutterfly8585 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you School of life!! Helping humanity go back to humanity! ❤❤❤❤

  • @archniki_
    @archniki_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I need re-watch it over time.
    I'm so easy to forget

  • @LocoFaux
    @LocoFaux 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Next time when someone says I drink too much booze, I'll just say "It's okay. It's for a friend."

  • @michaelpesavento8268
    @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Hi, The problem is that I don't have any close friends so I don't have anyone to compare this too. How do you open up and bring people into your life?
    I can go a whole week without talking to a real person:/
    Maybe I'm spending too much time in the computer? But I don't have anything else, Thanks.

    • @hollya1279
      @hollya1279 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Michael Pesavento I have no close friends either. Every time I have had one it's just gone weird.

    • @chrish6001
      @chrish6001 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I suggest you research a list and visit some area Toastmasters clubs, then join one (or an Agora Speakers club). Gaining new skills and interacting with positive, encouraging people makes most people feel better! It's fun and you help others too. Many felt the same as you. When you've got more confidence, then go on Meetup and find clubs that interest you, or start your own. Find your 'tribe' (See "Tribes" by Seth Godin). Chances are there are others out there with similar interests or causes.

    • @anelisakittson6014
      @anelisakittson6014 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Michael Pesavento I don't know I was never liked much. girls always hated me cause of how I dressed and guys always flirted. I'm unusual and bold. nobody ever excepted me .

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Hi Holly, Sometimes it just takes finding the right kind of friends.
      I'm part of a therapy group we meet once a week and we are all going through different things but we all have our own challenges and we are able to share our own uniqueness and we all learn from each other. I hope to be able to make some friends from these diverse and interesting people. I suggest you give it a try. Thanks.

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hi, Thanks for the advice, I never heard of those groups but they sound ideal and well worth the effort. Like a good place to start. Thanks.

  • @valeriaguerra6119
    @valeriaguerra6119 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I definetely love how the draws are enganched

  • @debolina1496
    @debolina1496 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What a beautiful video, thank you so much for creating this message!

  • @karenforever15
    @karenforever15 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I always thought of my subconscious as my best friend I even talk to my self and it helps me though though times but I didn't wanted to sound like I'm crazy to others so I never tell

    • @snowyowel7961
      @snowyowel7961 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's ok they are probably busy talking to themselves as well 🤗

  • @ECAPS.
    @ECAPS. 7 ปีที่แล้ว +627

    ah, nothing better than my daily dosage of depression.

    • @potudgruths972
      @potudgruths972 7 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      loloismydaddy This has been commented below quite a bit of their videos. Except this time it's just wrong... how was this one depressing

    • @Clown81178
      @Clown81178 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      True that

    • @stauner32
      @stauner32 7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      This was the opposite of depressing..

    • @swagpatriot696
      @swagpatriot696 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Z ayyyyyy

    • @the1wholikesthis
      @the1wholikesthis 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      The only way I can think of this as being a dose of depression is that one may not have someone to consider as a friend. But even then it's OK, because one will always have itself waiting to be befriended.

  • @alessandrovalente9954
    @alessandrovalente9954 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm here after a lot of your videos. I've learned a lot and your advices will accompany me through all my life.
    I am now a true friend to my self. So you reached exactly the pourpose of what you're doing, and the least I can do to thank you is to tell you succeeded in changing a person's life. Again, whit all my heart, thank you,

  • @sodabread5
    @sodabread5 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Know a lot of people (especially myself) that can relate to this thanks School of Life!!

  • @macc5963
    @macc5963 7 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    Why would I befriend someone that tried to kill me?

    • @arthurcuesta6041
      @arthurcuesta6041 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      BossWafflez
      You didn't got the point. He meant that he tries to kill himself everyday. Maybe with thoughts, maybe with actions.

    • @MrAlterior
      @MrAlterior 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      If you can't love yourself, the person you know completely. How can you love anybody else you know deeply? People change. You're people.

    • @Niom_Music
      @Niom_Music 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wowow, take it easy now.

    • @exquisiteaquariummusic1871
      @exquisiteaquariummusic1871 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      eks dee

    • @xethaios
      @xethaios 7 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Because people are capable of change, the you that tried to kill you may not be the same you that wrote this three weeks ago.

  • @loulou2302
    @loulou2302 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I just need someone who can understand me even though I cannot understand myself sometimes. 😅

  • @suprajhas9562
    @suprajhas9562 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We need our friendship with ourselves the most coz no one has lived and gone through things exactly like us :).thanks for the video .Really good animation and conveys the message clearly !

  • @77heraclitus
    @77heraclitus 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Such pragmatic wisdom! Thank you School of Life.

  • @nonergonon
    @nonergonon 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hey School of Life,
    Can you perhaps make a video about 'How much is too much' regarding the control your parents have over your life?
    Idk if 'Asian' perspective can be kept in mind or not but yeah that's the situation i'm in.

  • @siam5287
    @siam5287 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Awesome, now I don't need friends anymore!

  • @chronoz9891
    @chronoz9891 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I deeply wish that the whole world could see and watch this channel

  • @deanster7216
    @deanster7216 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Those last words really got to me