12 signs you might be suffering from PTSD

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2024
  • Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) refers to a state in which we are severely impacted in the present by emotional neglect in our childhoods. The symptoms include high anxiety, low self-esteem, a constant sense of dread - and (often) difficulty being able to sleep. By learning more about our condition, we can (probably through the help of psychotherapy) hope to free ourselves and be more at ease in the world.
    If you are struggling with mental health there are lines where you can get professional support: www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs-...
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    FURTHER READING
    You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/3jAhz6T
    “The purpose of language is to help us to get a better grip on reality; the more words there are in our vocabulary, the higher the chance we have of being able to describe what we want, what ails us, what is driving us mad - and then in turn, to summon the help we may badly need.
    It can help if the words we have to hand are pretty (and even have a long and distinguished history), but at heart, all we really require is that they should help us. Such is the case with one of the most useful terms in modern psychology: Complex PTSD…”
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    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
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  • @theschooloflifetv
    @theschooloflifetv  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2239

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    • @iamwhoyousayiam6773
      @iamwhoyousayiam6773 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      We need to stop teaching people how to be victims. I'd like to see an episode on how to be VICTORIOUS!!!

    • @GenericConsumer
      @GenericConsumer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      @@iamwhoyousayiam6773 i think they're going for healthy self-awareness, personal growth, and consideration for fellow people. it's not about imposing winner/loser dichotomy -- that is not helpful to anyone. so they are not teaching people to be victims, but to recognize real hurt that did happen. and we need to process it properly to be able to fully engage in life in the now without still reacting from a place of pain -- that i would consider as being victorious.

    • @iamwhoyousayiam6773
      @iamwhoyousayiam6773 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@GenericConsumer Yes, I know. My point was we all already know we're traumatized. We need to focus more on improving, not wallowing. Here in the USA people are completely shut down because they're coddled.

    • @GenericConsumer
      @GenericConsumer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@iamwhoyousayiam6773 Some of us know we're traumatized while others only just had that realization (based on this video's comments). I agree that we need to focus on improving, and i think this particular video mostly functions as the first step of recognition. Maybe for you it reads as wallowing because you've already done this step. Also, I do not at all feel coddled here in the US. So i'm not sure what you're referring to in that generalization. It's a big country and I mostly see confusion here and that's why people are shut down as you say

    • @charlesbrightman4237
      @charlesbrightman4237 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Consider the following: Nature is our greatest ally in so far as Nature gives us life and a place to live it, AND Nature is also our greatest enemy that is going to take it all away. (OSICA)
      NOTHING to worry about, all of life itself is all ultimately meaningless. It does not even matter that we exist, much less how we exist while we exist.

  • @CassieWinter
    @CassieWinter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26226

    "Logic doesn't help." I wish more people understood this part of trauma.

    • @campkira
      @campkira 3 ปีที่แล้ว +272

      somepeople logic too fuck up. there are differnt than logic and citical thinking...

    • @Soul-OnFire
      @Soul-OnFire 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      Amen!!

    • @sirtko
      @sirtko 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    • @CassieWinter
      @CassieWinter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @BL Same

    • @Jayy_226
      @Jayy_226 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      I agree thats what bugs me

  • @Sherlaya
    @Sherlaya 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4460

    1. A feeling that nothing is safe
    2. We can never relax
    3. Can’t really sleep & wake up early
    4. Appalling self-image
    5. Drawn to highly unavailable people
    6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us
    7. Prone to lose temper very badly
    8. Highly paranoid
    9. Other people seem dangerous so we like to be alone
    10. Life feels exhausting
    11. We’re not spontaneous
    12. Attempt to find security through various things like money, fame etc

    • @abhinavnandan44
      @abhinavnandan44 3 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Thanks 👍

    • @Sherlaya
      @Sherlaya 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Abhinav Nandan you’re welcome :3

    • @Sherlaya
      @Sherlaya 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Draugr you’re welcome ☺️

    • @nextphaseofevolution8753
      @nextphaseofevolution8753 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Thanks a million! 👍

    • @Sherlaya
      @Sherlaya 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Next Phase of Evolution you’re welcome 💕

  • @aryakeepsafe4142
    @aryakeepsafe4142 ปีที่แล้ว +860

    Emotional neglect in high achieving families can be as damaging as being in a physically abusive family. That is so true . I'm glad he mentioned that.

    • @Indubidably0
      @Indubidably0 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's not true. But you go ahead and pretend that your daddy not hugging you enough in your upper-middle class pampered yuppie life is just the same as my dad beating me with the corpse of a dog I refused to kill at his command when I was 9(regular behavior for him). Hey, go ahead, tell my step-sisters he r*ped that you're just like them because your mommy didn't say "I love you" every day.
      You're pathetic.

    • @Rollwithit699
      @Rollwithit699 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Children who are PHYSICALLY or SEXUALLY abused are also EMOTIONALLY abused. This isn't a competition of "who had it worse" but if you weren't beaten up or constantly raped, consider yourself fortunate.

    • @dirarmis672
      @dirarmis672 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@Indubidably0but it all comes down to the fact that different people perceive things differently. someone might go through sexual and physical abuse and not have c-ptsd, while others could go through emotional neglect without physical violence and still be affected by it. Trauma isn’t logical and ultimately a label like ‘c-ptsd’ can’t capture the long spectrum of what’s going on with different people

    • @krtierney
      @krtierney ปีที่แล้ว +7

      yep every circumstance is unique.

    • @orctrihar
      @orctrihar ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What happen when both ? Also add Emotional abuse

  • @Jennifer-bw7ku
    @Jennifer-bw7ku หลายเดือนก่อน +337

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU หลายเดือนก่อน

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes, dr.andrew_james. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @patriaciasmith3499
      @patriaciasmith3499 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU หลายเดือนก่อน

      Is he on instagram?

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes he is. dr.andrew_james

  • @NationandState
    @NationandState 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1745

    1. Nothing feels safe.
    2. We can never relax.
    3. Can't ever really sleep.
    4. Appalling self image.
    5. Drawn to emotionally unavailable people.
    6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us.
    7. Prone to losing our temper, very badly.
    8. We are highly paranoid.
    9. We find other people dangerous and love to live alone.
    10. Living feels like a burden.
    11. Not spontaneous. Changes of plans are horrifying.
    12. Workaholics.

    • @Lioness006
      @Lioness006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Big yikes. These are all me. 😭

    • @justicewarrior4600
      @justicewarrior4600 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You took the words right out of my mouth 🥺

    • @Fefe559
      @Fefe559 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      ... also can FREAK OUT over social issues, go into a blood boiling rage that I don't want to feel so angry, I especially hate the book banning PC right now. I will probably die of a heart attack brought on by being too anger, stressed and stupid

    • @ace7912
      @ace7912 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      I like when people note video lists in comments because my attention span is short

    • @createagoogleaccountentery3325
      @createagoogleaccountentery3325 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Uh oh I think i-
      So I- ?!

  • @purnimabasumatary6309
    @purnimabasumatary6309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2172

    It's annoying how people so easily say it's going to be okay. I've been waiting for everything to be okay but it never has

    • @DarkMoonDroid
      @DarkMoonDroid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Being patient with them is beyond exhausting.
      I just wanna scream, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!"

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Exactly. Healing is getting someone's recognition.. No matter how much we will tell ourselves that we have the human right to grief or feel injustice, it's still a medicine when another person simply listens with compassion and acknowledgment instead of lecturing etc.

    • @purnimabasumatary6309
      @purnimabasumatary6309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@peaceofmindofpeace1650 Ikr for so long I thought no one would accept me if they knew wt I've been through and wt I feel until i found someone who actually listens becoz he wants to not for the sake of listening and I've healed and im still healing.

    • @kikiperry8176
      @kikiperry8176 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You're right, on it's own, these complex PTSD strategies escalate. I hope you consider accessing professional help

    • @santabarbara3481
      @santabarbara3481 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      It's going so very slow and every time someone tells you it's your fault, everything feels horrible again. But after 6 weeks the feelings change again and if you care for yourself, it's gonna be good... for a while again.

  • @joshdaywalt5848
    @joshdaywalt5848 ปีที่แล้ว +286

    I was bullied, excluded and assaulted daily by my peers in my early childhood. I started fighting everyone. When I got to my late teens I realized I was so afraid of people that when they were talking to me I couldn’t hear their voices over my fear, like I wasn’t even present. I reacting to any perceived slight with violence, resulting in prison. I’ve healed a lot now in my early 30s but I still sometimes feel like everyone around me is hostile and I can never relax.

    • @richardyoung8213
      @richardyoung8213 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I feel Ya i was never offensive to people I always bottles stuff up and still do but I'm in my 40s now but i figured myself out in my 20s As they say fear nothing but fear its self life's too fucking short B you oue it to yourself just to be happy in peace from within Only you can do that

    • @orangejuicesimpson7233
      @orangejuicesimpson7233 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I feel the same way. When I was a kid most of the people around me either had a problem with me and didn't like me, and would also tell me I'm annoying. Middle school wasn't any better, and because of all of that trauma I hate everyone, and try to do whatever I can to be alone and not talk to anyone. I also hate (not exaggerating) most of humanity and worry about being in public because I feel like people are staring at me and judging me. People getting close to me frustrates me and people ignoring me or being rude to me infuriates me, but I don't like to tell peoplebthese feelings, but they can definitely tell when I'm angry because I've been told my energy changes the room

    • @cristymakes6026
      @cristymakes6026 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      You are in survival mode. You have to tell Josh, inside you, the fighter, the protector of you, that You, Josh Today has got it covered. You breathe and even talk out loud to him if you must. Say I know you are trying to protect us but we dont need that kind of protection anymore.

    • @vincevega6676
      @vincevega6676 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is very true!

    • @MaximDL1410
      @MaximDL1410 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      🥹❤️🙏

  • @wcjeffro9849
    @wcjeffro9849 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    "We need to start loving someone we very unfairly hate. Ourselves." A powerful statement yet not so easily done. I don't know about others here but I have hated myself with all the strength I posses since I was twelve. I don't think it will ever change for me.

    • @fuzzyfeels5041
      @fuzzyfeels5041 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I hope things change for you, and that one day, in some way, even if it’s just a little, that you realize you’re worthy and deserving of love. That even just realizing that could help and maybe you can give yourself that love, because it was always something you could do. I know it isn’t easy, but I believe you can do it, and as well as everyone else. I just hope you can choose to see it to one day, for yourself. That’s just what I believe, I don’t know if it will help, but I hope the best for you.

    • @Gambi_1
      @Gambi_1 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Try psychedelics, you will feel more love for everything, including yourself, than you have ever felt before. It can disrupt the rigid perspective of yourself and the world and enable a different way of being.

    • @celty5858
      @celty5858 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      If you've ever been mad at someone for mistreating you and justified to them that you didn't deserve it, in a way that's self love. If you take yourself away from sources that are bad for you, or get yourself things you like as a treat, that's also a sort of self love.
      It's a process that's done with baby steps with a lot of hurt and self relapse in between. I also thought I wouldn't stop hating myself but, with time and preserverance I managed to stop. :)
      I reccommend to try to stop beating yourself up + speak to yourself in a kinder voice, that will make a big difference.

    • @Decipherization
      @Decipherization ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Same here friend. Hate my face in the mirror, hate my body. I've dated objectively beautiful women that I know most men would kill for, who have their shit together and could have any choice of partner. I still see an ugly crooked face in the mirror. I still feel worthless. I achieve things I should be proud of but I'm more focused on feeling like I should be ashamed that even thinking such a small thing is worth being proud of. My memories make me cringe. All of them. Good and bad. But I'm fixated on my failures. Embarrassing memories, it's like when I think of them I'm literally there again. Even if I was 8 years old and said something stupid, I feel INTENSE shame when I remember it. And on bad days that same memory would be added to the long list of reasons I should hate myself, shouldn't trust myself, and why everybody around me thinks I'm a pathetic loser. It's hard living like this. Outwardly, I know rationally that I look put together, confident, like nothing should really bother me. I have more going for me in terms of success than most people I know. But inside I'm shattered. Constantly anxious. Uncomfortable in my own skin, unsure of myself, insecure. Filled with anger and hate I don't understand. It's just there. And deep, deep sadness. A tiny emptiness at the center of it all. So no, you aren't the only one.

    • @parot1802
      @parot1802 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@fuzzyfeels5041 thank you so much for your Comment 💟. So helpfull . Best wishes From germany 🙏🕊🍀❤️

  • @johnpick8336
    @johnpick8336 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3463

    A therapist friend says that : "We are all wounded children in adult bodies".
    Thank you for posting !

    • @jcrose6008
      @jcrose6008 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      When I am okay with myself I have no need to judge others is just one thing I try to remember.
      I agree n learned this many yrs ago, n have said this so often, “we are all wounded children in adults bodies” bc l lived it, I can recognized this in myself, makes it easy to c in others. Most importantly it has helped me to not b so hard on myself or others

    • @durgaambika4342
      @durgaambika4342 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Not everybody is wounded.Some are wounded and some others are extremely wounded

    • @jcrose6008
      @jcrose6008 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@durgaambika4342
      I am glad someone on this planet had perfect parents

    • @androsRoccha
      @androsRoccha 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      *Every inner child is waiting to be understood, loved and protected by an adult, and that adult is you.* that was how I healed myself from Alopecia Areata, which many people suffer from it without an effective treatment.

    • @chloethemessenger
      @chloethemessenger 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree.

  • @koalab
    @koalab 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19278

    I love that he says "we", it makes me feel like I'm not alone in my struggles. It warmed my heart. 🥺

    • @Mushroom321-
      @Mushroom321- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Same here!, I agree! Koala B 😼😌😀

    • @askwen7731
      @askwen7731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      I agree! I also love “those of us”

    • @angelinebailey3711
      @angelinebailey3711 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I agree also ❤️

    • @koala7254
      @koala7254 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      agreed.

    • @icreamsogood
      @icreamsogood 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yes

  • @DonnHowes
    @DonnHowes 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +225

    I suffered PTSD; severe anxiety and mental disorder for over 8 years. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms
    treatment. It's just amazing how psilocybin mushrooms treatment saved my life honestly.4 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

    • @BrownGeorge-pw2xo
      @BrownGeorge-pw2xo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.

    • @Wimruther-hk4zn
      @Wimruther-hk4zn 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Can you help with the reliable source. Really need!🙏

    • @Bastianbishops
      @Bastianbishops 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey! Yes I'm very sure of Dr.medshrooms.

    • @gefferystones2814
      @gefferystones2814 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice!

    • @nicholda436
      @nicholda436 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      My first experience with shrooms cleared
      my mind and I started seeing the world on a
      whole new level

  • @oranganewton
    @oranganewton ปีที่แล้ว +249

    I was diagnosed with CPTSD last month
    8 foster homes and 3 adoptions by the time I was 8. I’m 33 now and finally getting help
    We got this guys, we deserve the love not shown by others, and we deserve to love ourselves

    • @blancarodriguez1340
      @blancarodriguez1340 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ❤❤❤

    • @shircohen3544
      @shircohen3544 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This made me cry

    • @Apachemiwok777
      @Apachemiwok777 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I feel you. I was taken by cps, put in who knows how many foster homes and then adopted.

    • @lilnarm_smoothblaze
      @lilnarm_smoothblaze 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Apachemiwok777was the fam great

    • @Apachemiwok777
      @Apachemiwok777 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@lilnarm_smoothblaze meh, adoptive dad, would rather do projects and make my adoptive mom cry than spend time with me, and adoptive mom verbally abused me.

  • @ari7610
    @ari7610 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3134

    "we look mean, we are in fact defenseless" made me teary eyed

    • @even2ez266
      @even2ez266 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      This is one reason why I hate myself.. and why I wish I didn't exist. But the main reason is because grandma, mom, some cousins, some friends, don't think highly of me. Mostly cause they just don't see me as who I am, but someone who is what THEY see

    • @ilkku239
      @ilkku239 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      That makes two of us. I too wish more people understood what anxiety looks like from the outside.

    • @elenasogoba5485
      @elenasogoba5485 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Truth

    • @litao3679
      @litao3679 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@even2ez266 💛🕊️🙏

    • @d.c.3346
      @d.c.3346 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      so true ajshsh

  • @Ignareint
    @Ignareint 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4226

    “The root cause of complex PTSD is an absence of love.”
    This is really an eye-opener. All the skewed perception we have about life and people are due to the fact that the concept of (unconditional) love is so foreign to us, that we always feel there is no way people can love us the way we are.

    • @esterhudson5104
      @esterhudson5104 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yup.👍

    • @pri5748
      @pri5748 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      I believe this is the exact reason for self-sabotaging

    • @serpentinewolf7085
      @serpentinewolf7085 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Mine wasn’t love, it was safety.

    • @bec5250
      @bec5250 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Yep, welcome to the cold, dark world in which so many of us exist.

    • @theflowerhead
      @theflowerhead 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Kinda blew my mind. I've struggled with love, any type really, most my life. I love someone so completely finally in my 30s and 2yrs in I'm still shocked. Now that I'm FINALLY comfortable I say "I love you" all the time. It's weird as fck. So it's very interesting to hear this.

  • @user-oy4vu3ck3u
    @user-oy4vu3ck3u ปีที่แล้ว +109

    I have 11 of these symptoms, but honestly the biggest tell is emotional flashbacks. Feeling awful in a way that doesn't match up to the current situation or feeling small.

    • @anthonyvarro3023
      @anthonyvarro3023 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Agreed I have 10

    • @cebruthius
      @cebruthius หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      It's weird how that was conspicuously missing from the lineup.

    • @kwl189
      @kwl189 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Agreed. I wish this one had been listed.

  • @crystallowry5098
    @crystallowry5098 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I had a BPD/NPD father who terrorized me everyday of my childhood. I am 40 and still cleaning up after this mess. The worst part of CPTSD are people who judge you and criticize you for the residual effects, you're at the end of the day the bag holder for what someone else did to you, it's the curse that keeps on giving.

  • @The-bi5ry
    @The-bi5ry 3 ปีที่แล้ว +642

    I just want to feel safe. I've never felt safe.

    • @yugiwitastick
      @yugiwitastick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      I don't even feel safe when I'm alone in my own room.

    • @EzequielMartin55vf
      @EzequielMartin55vf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@yugiwitastick Me too

    • @talkswithdontrell6697
      @talkswithdontrell6697 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Me too I’m always uncomfortable , i feel like everyone around me don’t look at me like I’m regular . One doctor told me i have ptsd then one said it’s not so now idk what to think of myself .. who am i?

    • @shyaaammeneen63
      @shyaaammeneen63 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@yugiwitastick Reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice and have a healthier life. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep inhalation-exhalation needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

    • @shyaaammeneen63
      @shyaaammeneen63 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@talkswithdontrell6697 Reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice and have a healthier life. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep inhalation-exhalation needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

  • @dondraper2344
    @dondraper2344 3 ปีที่แล้ว +899

    Does anyone else retroactively "turn" on their younger self and internally berate how stupid, naïve, worthless and oblivious to it all we used to be? Ostensibly pleasant and fun childhood moments lose all their value and just become anecdotal reminders of how everything was doomed from the start?

    • @DarkMoonDroid
      @DarkMoonDroid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      This.

    • @Thewritingelf
      @Thewritingelf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      I thought I was the only one who felt this ?! Like everytime i look back on my childhood I'm like, wow I was very stupid and naive.

    • @Anna-cg4tw
      @Anna-cg4tw 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      THIS

    • @db-ec1oz
      @db-ec1oz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I literally beat myself up (by punching my head until I'm either near unconscious or my hand swells up) for being so trusting and naive at times and also for briefly feeling happy whenever I feel I genuinely don't deserve happiness

    • @dondraper2344
      @dondraper2344 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@Thewritingelf Yeah, it's really such a sad reality to have to face. My childhood wasn't especially traumatic or challenging, but I did always sense that something was off about myself, but being an ignorant kid I'd just brush it off. Those same, castaway thoughts are now the ones that keep me up at night and force me to face my suffering.

  • @heathertaylor8904
    @heathertaylor8904 2 ปีที่แล้ว +284

    I'd really like to point out that we often have the opposite reactions as well, depending on how our fight/flight/freeze responses are. I was abused in every way you can imagine; physically, mentally, sexually, psychically (he would play games like holding a gun to my head or otherwise telling me i would die today, then laugh and say perhaps tomorrow).. My response was that my brain shuts down instead. I am the extreme opposite of everything you're saying, save the self image issue. I was desperate for any small amount of affection, or bring touched or hugged, often to devastating ends, as I would risk anything to feel loved for a moment. I slept easily, and too often. I never ever ever get angry at anyone, ever; rather, my brain shuts down and I go into numb mode if I'm upset by any small thing. I was the opposite of hypervigilant; I was mentally blank often. I'm getting better tho. I want terribly to connect with others but don't feel like I being with others. I definitely had a lot of suicidal ideation. My home and my life was anything but regimented. I have always been terribly chaotic, I don't feel comfortable in clean surroundings. If anything, clutter is comforting to me. I can't work; I can't focus long enough to. I have petit Mal seizures, or absence seizures, where I'll appear to be awake, aware and with you, but my brain just.. flips that switch and my awareness is just ... gone.
    I feel like it's important to illustrate my case so that you're viewers can understand that you don't have to fall under these listed criteria in order to have CPTSD. We each react very differently. There's no right or wrong way to be traumatized. I know certainly that wasn't your intent or message. I just want to encourage anyone who didn't see themselves in these symptoms to still seek out help if you're suffering, but your symptoms are overwhelming your life.

    • @JansenGlasc
      @JansenGlasc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      You're a warrior. I'm glad you're here with us today

    • @heathertaylor8904
      @heathertaylor8904 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@JansenGlasc I very don't feel like one, but thank you 😊 Same to you!

    • @misterfuckingdarcy
      @misterfuckingdarcy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Thank you for sharing your story. I'm just an internet stranger, but I love you and I wish you love for yourself.

    • @heathertaylor8904
      @heathertaylor8904 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@misterfuckingdarcy this made me tear up. I feel ... I mean .. this is a really alienating condition, so having strangers reach out with such loving thoughts really warms my heart.
      I imagine you're here for similar reasons, and whether it's for you or a loved one, I'm wishing you the same. There's never too much love in the world 😊🥰

    • @jalatlaco9827
      @jalatlaco9827 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@heathertaylor8904 I cried when I read your post. I hope you're getting some help and guidance now....EMDR and other therapies. Hugs to you.

  • @audreyazwell
    @audreyazwell ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I bawled my eyes out the first time I saw this because I have every symptom outside 4/5, I'm weirdly codependent. I still won't go to therapy so I come back to this sometimes to try to muster the courage/will.
    Good luck to any/everyone else that has C-PTSD.
    I dunno who you are but I love you out of sheer principle alone.
    You're loved and not alone.

  • @mavvi3303
    @mavvi3303 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3243

    "We don't register to ourselves as suicidal but the truth is that we find living so exhausting and often so unpleasant, we do sometimes long not to have to exist anymore." is 100% me. I have explained this to someone at the start of this year in almost the exact same words. Also diagnosed with clinical depression at 16, both my first 15 years of life and after that have been filled with all the things listed in this video :P

    • @Gr95dc
      @Gr95dc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I can empathize almost 100% with your comment, except, I was diagnosed with depression until I was 23 because I didn't seek mental health before

    • @KyrieChii
      @KyrieChii 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      This one _really_ hit me too. One of the first things I ever say when talking about my Depression (I was diagnosed at 19) is that I've never felt suicidal, but the depression & anxiety is intense. I hesitated for a long time to describe once having a dream where I knew I was going to die, but instead of fear, I felt... 'relieved'.
      I didn't want anyone to misunderstand & think I would harm myself. I felt guilt for that dream, & a bit afraid that my experiences could make me feel that way. I've not been medicated (had trouble finding something to help) or going to a therapist (which I know I desperately need) for many years now. I know I need to reach out for that help again.

    • @carterunrau4328
      @carterunrau4328 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I’ve told multiple therapists, health care providers, certain family members, etc. this same thing. I don’t want to kill myself, I just often wish I didn’t exist. And my feelings about my child hood are so clouded that I can not tell even as a young adult weather I had a good childhood or not.

    • @joski9030
      @joski9030 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I never spoke to anyone after finding my poor dad dead it was 5 years ago never gets easier but I’d put a lid on my bad thoughts. Popped the graveyard yesterday cried like a baby I’m not in that place now but I forgot how much I missed the man my best friend hero and legend. on a lighter note Merry Christmas everyone and if your down tell someone if it be a mate a work colleague or family member trust me it helps.✌️

    • @Naaga
      @Naaga 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That line hit exactly, as what I think since last couple of months.

  • @ReynaSingh
    @ReynaSingh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1125

    Many of the symptoms of PTSD are lived internally so that people don’t realize you’re suffering. such a devastating disorder.

    • @Turtleproof
      @Turtleproof 3 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      When I was at my lowest I put on a brave face which satisfied all my friends, when I recovered and shared how I truly felt the response was revulsion and abandonment.
      Moral of the story: those people were toxic and I [am] happier without them.

    • @Mushroom321-
      @Mushroom321- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      True! 😞

    • @b00gyman1
      @b00gyman1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      There have been times when trying to explain this to close friends or family felt like I was someone in a thriller or horror movie and only me was able to see the horrors of it.

    • @Turtleproof
      @Turtleproof 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@b00gyman1 That's been a hazard for me as well, when police or doctors think the experiences are tall tales or delusions. The Blade Runner soliloquy sums it up: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe."

    • @Bladerunner-yd5lk
      @Bladerunner-yd5lk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Turtleproof I was meant to find this page

  • @ashmartians123
    @ashmartians123 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Wow. Someone told me that I suffered from Cptsd. I’ve struggled my entire life feeling I would never amount to anything. I want to be normal. I want love. It’s all I’ve ever chased.

    • @angelinasamson6996
      @angelinasamson6996 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My ex triggered it in me , I'd suppressed it so deeply under other traumas ♥️

    • @ThirdHorseman
      @ThirdHorseman ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Remember to seek a diagnosis from a licensed professional. Treatment is different for each individual.

    • @ThirdHorseman
      @ThirdHorseman ปีที่แล้ว

      @@angelinasamson6996 please seek help from a licensed professional. Other people cannot correctly diagnose you as there is overlap and causes can differ.

    • @angelinasamson6996
      @angelinasamson6996 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ThirdHorseman Awwww that’s beautiful thank you ❤️

  • @Justice4Skye
    @Justice4Skye ปีที่แล้ว +30

    People have no damn clue, I'm 38 and been abused and used my entire life. I'm so broken I'm at the point, it's all shutting down. My childhood, my own child's and then fact that I did so good as a single father for it to be wrongly taken because I couldn't afford a lawyer to fight a criminal.
    Noone understands how bad it is and can be. I've isolated for 4 years now. I don't even know what's going on anymore. And I've tried everything.
    God I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.

    • @artgirl1339
      @artgirl1339 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I understand how you feel. I've isolated for 10 years now. Im struggling, lonely and my parents make my life miserable every day. I put on a smile and a brave fave and pretend everything is ok because I've learnt the hard way that no one cares anyways. At the most I've gotten a "don't worry it'll be better someday" or worse " you're just trying to get attention". Everyday i wonder to myself if i would just be better off dead. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. The only thing keeping me alive rn is my cat. If i loose him I'd probably give up on life

    • @digitalangel847
      @digitalangel847 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am so sorry, I'll never know what you truly experienced but I understand the feeling of isolation. I hope you are doing better and holding on, you deserve to feel safe and happy. There is very little a stranger's words can do but I genuinely worry for you and wish you the best out of life.

  • @beqantis
    @beqantis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2706

    All 12 Symptoms listed :)
    1:13 The Feeling that Nothing is Safe
    1:52 We can Never Relax
    2:22 We can’t ever really sleep
    2:36 We have, deep in ourselves, an appalling self Image
    2:56 Often drawn to highly unavailable people.
    3:17 Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us.
    3:26 Prone to losing our temper very badly. (More often to ourselves)
    3:47 Highly paranoid.
    4:20 We find other people so dangerous and worrying, that being alone has huge attractions.
    4:40 not considering yourself suicidal, But associate living as exhausting and unpleasant to the point of longing to simply not exist.
    4:50 Can’t afford to show much spontaneity
    5:09 in a bid to try and find safety, we throw ourselves into work.

    • @InvalidUser18
      @InvalidUser18 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I got a scary 9 but I feel as if 3 of those came from my anxiety. Which actually comes from traumatic events of being abused by my dad. Maybe some instances of severe anxiety should be first tested as PTSD to maybe better help people, I don't know too much about how doctors do this nor do I know much about psychology of the human brain so I am probably entirely off, or doctors already do this and I didn't know since I pushed away my doctor when they asked about my anxiety.

    • @applejuice6495
      @applejuice6495 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Thanks, good job!

    • @girastinka5434
      @girastinka5434 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      A terrifying 11

    • @okay3435
      @okay3435 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I have most of these symptoms, but I haven’t ever been in an immediate danger like the ones listed…

    • @brodyhanna7443
      @brodyhanna7443 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Honestly most people who watch this dont have it. Please dont go around saying it unless you have a medical professional tell you

  • @naomibee8881
    @naomibee8881 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3525

    This is the FIRST TIME I have EVER felt recognized or understood. It’s a strange, happy video that just made me feel relief. That’s rare, to say the least. Thank you.

    • @ikeepgettingbetter
      @ikeepgettingbetter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Same

    • @tamarat7404
      @tamarat7404 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Hey Naomi, I’m experience the same thing right now. I’m incredibly overwhelmed by all of it but do also feel a sense of relief. Wishing you the best :)

    • @naomibee8881
      @naomibee8881 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@tamarat7404 Thank you! And bless ❤️

    • @tamarat7404
      @tamarat7404 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@naomibee8881 Np :) You’re never alone!

    • @burnitdown5828
      @burnitdown5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I went through traumatic bullying myself and my teachers did nothing and I was never diagnosed with complex ptsd and this video just made me feel recognized and not alone to know their are people who are similar to me and to know their are people who want to help us.

  • @stevie-ray2020
    @stevie-ray2020 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    So true! Although I've spend time with a number of psychologists who were quite helpful, they never suggested that C-PTSD could be a diagnosis! Many of the symptoms described led to my work suffering & my marriage failing (my ex had her own issues), & chronic health problems mean that I can't even manage casual-work. So even though I feel I'm much better in regard to C-PTSD, at 62 I feel life has passed me by & that can be depressing at times! 😥

    • @ProfKisha
      @ProfKisha ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you for sharing this. I hope you find something fulfilling and revitalizing in your life.

  • @energ1zed452
    @energ1zed452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I am speechless. Thru self research, and therapy and numerous of situations I am able to sit more clear with knowing I have been fighting this battle. Much love to everyone in their own fights....

  • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
    @QuestionEverythingButWHY 3 ปีที่แล้ว +919

    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    --Joubert Botha

    • @melissastapleton1403
      @melissastapleton1403 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Wonderful quote!!!!
      Thank you for sharing ❤️

    • @alfredosauce8177
      @alfredosauce8177 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I didn’t know I needed to hear that

    • @properpsychology1276
      @properpsychology1276 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
      “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.”
      -Sigmund Freud
      "What is most personal is most universal."
      "What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly."
      -Carl Rogers
      Hey there!! You should check out our "Enlightening Quotes" videos ft. Sigmund Freud & Carl Rogers. Our channel is passionate about psychology education so that everyone everywhere can live a healthier life. Our goal is to create a free source of #DigitalTherapy for our subscribers.
      “We deserve some respect. You deserve some respect. You are important to other people, as much as to yourself. You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world.” -Jordan Peterson

  • @JCA51698
    @JCA51698 3 ปีที่แล้ว +553

    In January this year I read the book Complex PTSD by Pete Walker. Took me only 4 days. It was like reading my autobiography. I broke down crying uncontrollably - in front of my son on one occasion. I eventually found a therapist who practices RTT (Rapid Transformation Therapy). It changed my life.

    • @thereisnosanctuary6184
      @thereisnosanctuary6184 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Describe RTT

    • @JCA51698
      @JCA51698 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Lonely universal potato 00 much better, thank you

    • @priyao5097
      @priyao5097 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      If you like such literature try The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman.

    • @evas2547
      @evas2547 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Im so happy to hear that!!! Wish you all the best!!

    • @frostypaws14
      @frostypaws14 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes! I just got that book and already only 2 chapters in I feel like this book knows me. Great suggestion!

  • @jefferyscott8148
    @jefferyscott8148 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

    • @sherrimandel6983
      @sherrimandel6983 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Psychedelic is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression...The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself...I used antidepressants for some years but it only made me feel like a zombie but with immediate use of mushroom 🍄 in few months I feel like I'm living a whole new Life.

    • @Wizard-jf8rp
      @Wizard-jf8rp ปีที่แล้ว

      I made researches and found out that shrooms are very helpful , it has really helped to reduce anxiety and depression and some other mental health issues..i would love to try magic mushrooms but they are hard to source!

    • @jesseesquivel842
      @jesseesquivel842 ปีที่แล้ว

      I live in Michigan….suffering for awhile now but didnt realize how serious I may have it until recently - probably bc of @self medicating” with alcohol

    • @thomasmaxime2340
      @thomasmaxime2340 ปีที่แล้ว

      Saw some reviews about myco_louiis,checked him out and I must recommend he is a genius and an experienced mycologist

    • @thomasmaxime2340
      @thomasmaxime2340 ปีที่แล้ว

      On Inst

  • @tieflingcorpse9817
    @tieflingcorpse9817 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    two things that arent talked about enough with ptsd; 1. fear of abandoment is a symptom or can be one. 2. hypervigilance can also mean having outbursts of anger.

    • @sorafim
      @sorafim 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Perfect. Thank you.

  • @fleurianfilkins
    @fleurianfilkins 3 ปีที่แล้ว +583

    As someone having CPTSD, something I really struggle with is unintentionally looking, scared, sad, or angry, as I'm going through the world. I don't even realize I'm doing it, but I think it drives people away, further isolating me. I don't want people to think it's directed at them; I'm just usually having a hard time with flashbacks and hypervigilance and all the other things that come with CPTSD.

    • @snowhite427
      @snowhite427 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Same thing here.

    • @HeartFeltGesture
      @HeartFeltGesture 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Yeah I cant seem to crack a genuine smile and I feel hyper aware of my face when talking to people, which compounds my awkwardness. I hypervigilantly scan strangers faces to see how they are reacting to me.
      They say if you do this it's because you used to look at your parents facial expressions for signs of love and approval.
      I remember doing that a lot.
      And of course it was never there. Covert narcissist mother and codependent enabler stepfather, I am the family scapegoat.

    • @Guiterminator
      @Guiterminator 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@HeartFeltGesture damn, guess you're not alone

    • @kageyamatobio1863
      @kageyamatobio1863 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yup 😕 I have an audio recording of one of the things that happened to me and sometimes when i woke up scared, i used to listen to it on repeat to 'numb myself' but I'd just get more scared so that was pretty dumb haha

    • @ilkku239
      @ilkku239 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That makes two of us.

  • @TMOR99
    @TMOR99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2197

    "The root cause of CPTSD is a lack of love."
    It NEVER hit me until now. My mom used to physically abuse me and my siblings specifically while my dad was at work. She un-schooled us, kept us trapped in an isolated house in an isolated town while he abandoned us with her for ten hours a day. She got addicted to opioids and spent seven entire years in bed, mostly asleep, causing all kinds of shit. My sister had to raise me and my brothers, my dad emotionally cheated on her because she was emotionally absent. She got out of that, but now she just sits in the corner scrolling away on conspiracy theories, repeating them to us 24/7 and making no effort to engage in what WE'RE doing.
    Meanwhile, my dad has done nothing but enable her, sit there with his balls between his legs and never defended us or protected us from her. Which he still refuses to do. I thought I just had anxiety, but now I think I have CPTSD from how god-awful this living envornment is. I need to get OUT.

    • @kissit012
      @kissit012 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      You can call cps on your own parents. Introducing other healthy minded people to the circumstances may help (not that that is cps directly).

    • @shornandkenny
      @shornandkenny 2 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      This is my ex wife. She was\is a severe alcoholic and bullimic. Its been a hard 9 years, the length of time my son has been alive. We divorced last year and my dad died a week prior. Its been an 18 month long $37000 custody battle. Plus covid, it was really hard last year and im really messed up by it. All of it and i will never be the same again.
      Take care of yourself. Do yourself a favor, stay in school and get a good job/career so that you can be in control of your life.

    • @accradata
      @accradata 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      @@shornandkenny Good advice mate. My ex (and daughter's mother) is similar but turns violent towards me and after 7 years of dealing with her damage I find myself split between despising her and still wanting to help her heal. She had the most hideous childhood and was married to a man who physically and emotionally abused her and their children for 13 years. She became the abuser. I'm not perfect but I have certainly suffered my own damage after our 8 year relationship. I just try to see and be my best for our daughter and deal with her barrage when I have to communicate with her. I thank God everyday that she is out of my house but I suffer from the anxiety of knowing she'll never truly be out of my life.

    • @LiveByChrist0
      @LiveByChrist0 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Ur still going threw it now ?

    • @TMOR99
      @TMOR99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@accradata That's what I hate the most. I want my mom out of my life, but she's so engraved in the family that we can never truly get rid of her. My dad can try to kick her out, but he's too much of q coward to have any hard conversations with her, and she probably won't leave. At the thought of rejection she just threatens suicide every time, and she one time cut her wrists and had to go to the hospital over a fight they had, so she's capable. And he can't stand up to her because of that situation.
      The sad reality is that this is HIS fight, and he's not gonna fight it. All of his kids are gonna grow up and move out, and he's gonna be left with her alone and never get to see us because we'll have to go through her.

  • @AugustusAsgeir
    @AugustusAsgeir ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I grew up in Chicago, my first memory is of my mom tryna take my dad out. Seen a lot of death n violence, been stabbed, beat, neglected, bullied, shot at, robbed etc. Seen my brother's body after he was shot twice in the head. Appreciate this video, really needed this and that no sleep shit is real as well as the self anger plus paranoia. Also really appreciate how u used "us, our, we" I don't feel so alone. I try keeping myself busy but like u said it doesn't do much. N yeah no one noticed the household I grew up in was both violent and neglectful, so I'd dip out but outside in Southside and Westside Chicago is a warzone. Lost around 37 people since 2020, around 50+ in total and I'm only 24. Been to so many funerals, but best decision I made was leaving at 18.
    N too, had to kinda raise my lil sister. Also the love thing is sumn I like now actually even though it's a foreign feeling it's... idk how to put it but pleasant

    • @LIVdaBrand
      @LIVdaBrand ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Relatable. Best thing to do is leave and heal. No need to be loyal to chaos. Free yourself. Good for you.

    • @christinaw8596
      @christinaw8596 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😢

  • @saturn5063
    @saturn5063 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    I've always thought my trauma was never 'bad enough to have just PTSD, but now that I watch more videos and read more articles, I think I might have CPTSD. I've always compared my trauma (emotional neglect and verbal abuse from parents, verbal and some physical abuse from sister) to my friend (physical abuse from dad) and always kind of wished mine was worse so I could feel valid. I'm so thankful for this, even though coming to terms with my trauma is hard and it makes me feel helpless, I'm really trying:D

    • @n0namesowhatblerp362
      @n0namesowhatblerp362 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same! I also thought that i was just stupid. A childish idiot who deserves to just disappear of from this earth because look what that person went through...my experiences werent that bad...So i must be just completly awful...Unfortunately i had a moment from this video happening, just by reading the comments with people and their much worse experiences, i feel so useless. I should be ok compared to them, how can i have failed this hard at life.

    • @phoebesmith8154
      @phoebesmith8154 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have this so hard! I was always told I was a hypochondriac/overreacting. It’s hard to accept labels for me now as I feel like I’m not bad enough to warrant them.

    • @jclyntoledo
      @jclyntoledo ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Please read, "Complex PTSD:from surviving to thriving" by Pete Walker.

    • @phoebesmith8154
      @phoebesmith8154 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jclyntoledo I’m in the middle of that right now 😍

    • @MeJustAimy
      @MeJustAimy ปีที่แล้ว

      mine feels even less bad than that.

  • @lurb1557
    @lurb1557 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1249

    “We need to relearn to love someone we very unfairly hate beyond measure: ourselves” ❤️

  • @MmmKayHuuNay
    @MmmKayHuuNay 3 ปีที่แล้ว +636

    I wish I could afford a trauma therapist. All of my therapists throughout my life have been like talking to a random person at a bus stop or something, and it actually just makes you relive everything over and over.

    • @dvornikovalexei
      @dvornikovalexei 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I am pretty sure I have cptsd as well, i come from a very poor family and still see my parents beating each other. I bet we can help each other since no one else can?

    • @sobrevida157
      @sobrevida157 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      CPTSD has many signs, but a major one is the lack of a stable self concept. This lack leads to a terrible conundrum: a feeling of unworthiness that leads to simultaneously fearing both abandonment and enmeshment. We fear the pain of abandonment and don’t feel worthy of another’s love. We fear being attached to someone as they may engulf us and we will lose the little self that we have. We travel the world seeking love, but when we find it, we fear losing ourselves by being engulfed by the other, or being crushed by the inevitable abandonment.
      Nothing is safe, especially relationships. So we become hyper-vigilant, looking for microscopic proof that this person will abandon us or engulf us. Emerson reminds us that ‘what we seek is what we find’, so we see signs everywhere: our texts are returned too quickly=engulfment. Our texts aren’t returned quickly enough=abandonment. They cook for us=engulfment. They don’t cook for us=abandonment. We can never relax into anything. We look for signs of how the relationship WON’T work, rather than looking for signs of how it COULD work. And since we find what we look for, signs of impending doom are everywhere. Our survival brain screams, “Get out before they hurt you!”
      As the video states, this expectation of the floor dropping out may lead us to a habit of over-planning our days; but it may also lead to making no plans at all. If everything is going to fall apart anyway, why plan anything? So we spin and walk around in circles, not knowing what to do with our selves.
      We cannot reason ourselves out of CPTSD for a few reasons. One, our abuse or neglect may have happened as infants, when our brains had no linguistic capability, our explicit memory not yet developed. No matter how much we talk to that part of us, we can’t reach those parts of us. (See Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model of Therapy). Secondly, much of our trauma is stored in the body, not the mind. To access our trauma, we must access our bodies. (See VanDerKolk’s The Body Keeps the Score).
      Some of the symptoms described in the video have their polar opposite. While some may have trouble sleeping, others may sleep all the time. Many seek safety in solitude while others seek safety in manic, superficial socializing.
      We are drawn to unavailable people because they keep us safe from enmeshment and abandonment. If they live in another town, they can neither engulf nor abandon us. They seem safer because we are risking less of ourselves.
      We unconsciously fear cozy, warm people because those warm feelings are unfamiliar; we unconsciously seek cold or critical people because they feel familiar. Our neglectful or abusive caregivers taught us that love is cold or critical, so warmth feels alien and uncomfortable.
      Our fears of abandonment or enmeshment can trigger our reptilian, survival reactions of the 4Fs: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Our logical, linguistic, relational brains are switched off. Instead, 1) We Fight: we get angry and rage, becoming violent in word and/or deed; 2) We Flee: we run away either physically or mentally; 3) We Freeze: our brains and body lock up and we can't think of anything to say or do; or 4) We Fawn: we sacrifice our selves and try to appease the other. These habits are formed when we are very young and stay with us forever, unless we consciously heal. These responses often work when we are younger, but become maladaptive when we age. They help us when we are young but harm us as adults.
      While some may be able to seek a therapist, some cannot because we feel so unworthy that we don’t want to bother a therapist with our troubles; we are not worth it. We are not worth the expense or the therapist’s time. Or we are so ashamed of being alive and breathing air that someone else could breathe, that we fear a therapist will only ridicule or abandon us. These people may want to begin their journey of healing by reading books or watching videos.
      Here are a few resources that have greatly helped me along my journey:
      The Body Keeps the Score Bessel VanDerKolk
      The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog Bruce Perry
      Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving Pete Walker
      Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame Patricia DeYoung
      Wishing you peace and healing . .

    • @JamalRidge
      @JamalRidge 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Word up

    • @pinstripesuitandheels
      @pinstripesuitandheels 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I hope you do too. I have had a total of 12 or 13 different therapists before I came into contact with my current one. She's a schema therapist and she recently did a course on cptsd. She mentioned it to me when we scheduling an appointment and said it would be valuable for her in helping me.
      What I'm trying to say is, there are great therapists out there, even when you think there's no hope of finding one. Good luck to you in your journey!

    • @jellybearq
      @jellybearq 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Are we all living the same experience!?!!

  • @Jules-ky1jo
    @Jules-ky1jo ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Wow. Since childhood I've been in circumstances which others would refer to as traumatic, but I've always felt invalidated because I dont have the common 'nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks' that everyone else has. This helps me to realise that I do infact have all of these symptoms and that trauma can manifest for us in different ways. I always thought that I was just used to traumatic situations but now I can see a lot of these displayed in my everyday behavior without even realizing it

  • @randystone4903
    @randystone4903 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    After years of seeing therapists off and on for 50 years none ever mentioned a lack of love. As a teenager when describing the relationship with my father to my first therapist he cried. The best help I ever had was a year doing the workbook with the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. The harm to myself of seeking out controlling people for relationships was one of the awful habits I dropped. Finding contentment with oatmeal love (warm love, not hot love) and running away from limerence is still a challenge. The Persians had 80 words for love like the Eskimos have a variety of words to describe the many characteristics of snow. We are a society crippled by our lack of understanding what healthy love is and truly connecting to people around us. A few close friends who intentionally struggle with their family demons are working pretty well for me. People who have lived with no family trauma don't make my inner circle of friends. That's just an observation, best of luck to others on this path seeking healing love.

  • @user-gh5yt6li2u
    @user-gh5yt6li2u 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1325

    its hard when your undiagnosed because you dont know if you have a disorder or your just a terrible person-

    • @rubiin15
      @rubiin15 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      That's so fucking real I'm literally 12 and wished I wasn't alive since 8 💔. Fucking hell idk what to do 🖤. Depression... 😫

    • @socksandshoes8033
      @socksandshoes8033 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      @@rubiin15 I love you. You are NOT a "terrible person" no matter what you've done or gone through in your life. I promise. Please keep fighting. You will find the people and places that make you feel loved and safe if you just keep looking.

    • @weirdkiddo6463
      @weirdkiddo6463 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      so true... and that hurts.

    • @sonnenschein6937
      @sonnenschein6937 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Hey friendly remainder when you are doing well you know you're doing well you feel you are doing well. If you doubt if you need help then you probably do indeed need help. Being undiagnosed doesn't invalidate your emotions nor your experience

    • @lem0nk3t
      @lem0nk3t 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's you're not your

  • @auroramichaels8953
    @auroramichaels8953 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1061

    That ending... "We need to relearn how to love someone we hate beyond measure. Ourselves." I freaking lost it. I despise myself so much it's impossible to put into words. I wish I could see myself differently. Attempting to get into therapy. Wish me luck, and I sincerely hope everyone else suffering from this finds their light. 💗

    • @freyasouter6138
      @freyasouter6138 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Good luck! You deserve to feel good about yourself and the world around you. The blue sky is underneath, there's just clouds in the way right now

    • @pinstripesuitandheels
      @pinstripesuitandheels 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I do too. Sometimes I'm convinced I look like a monster. One of my core beliefs is that I don't have the right to be alive because (and this is really bad, genetic hygiene bad) if I were born in medieval times, or maybe even 100 years ago, I probably wouldn't have survived infancy. My eyesight is very bad, I had constant ear infections as a baby...
      I take this as a sign that I wasn't meant to be born, that I am a genetic mistake.
      Through therapy I've learned to be very kind to my little self and I comfort the lonely, hurting child inside. I do schema therapy. It's really helpful! Very hard, and it takes time but it is very much worth it. You are very much worth it. Good luck!

    • @nunchuckdaddy6417
      @nunchuckdaddy6417 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Go for EDR and yoga. It is proven to often work better than talking therapy.

    • @hueyhooverhampton7060
      @hueyhooverhampton7060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Do I secretly hate myself? 😪

    • @karync.6707
      @karync.6707 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      EMDR is working for me. Also, depending where you are and your financial abilities, there is a LEGAL MDMA therapy (for those diagnosed with PTSD) clinic opening up in Santa Cruz CA in a few months....

  • @888anonyme888
    @888anonyme888 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    After 25 years of being strong, my body just broke down. My fight of flight response won’t switch off, I feel like I’m in danger even tho there’s nothing threatening happening. I think this is what I am, thank you for this video, I’m finally able to get the help I need

    • @unclebruce3045
      @unclebruce3045 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I used to wonder if anyone else felt like this when I was a kid. I've just turned 50 and I now know that I was carrying so much un-discharged energy in my nervous system that I literally couldn't function and when I was 18...I thought I was schizophrenic. 4 years ago my therapist told me that "if you have the presence of mind to wonder if you're schizophrenic...... you're definitely not schizophrenic". He was (and still is) my Gandalf. I have all the symptoms (and miraculously, all my marbles!) but have only fairly recently admitted to myself just how awful and scary my childhood and young adulthood was. I used to wear it like a badge of honour... like it made me tough or something. Once you come to terms with and finally accept what happened... it slowly begins to change. And let your wounded inner child know you would never let them go through such things and that they are loved beyond measure. It actually works. ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @brokenyoutuber9558
    @brokenyoutuber9558 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Man, I should have found this sooner, some of my friends and family have cPTSD and knowing this really helps, I am glad my family who does have cPTSD or other mental illnesses protected me from even worse mental health. I do not have it myself but I hope others reading this could gain some confidence in that you are not alone, even if you look a the other comments of this video.

  • @moonshynegirl172
    @moonshynegirl172 3 ปีที่แล้ว +609

    I have always wanted to be a hermit. My mantra everyday just to keep going was "Suicide is always an option". My promise to myself after the third attempt was never again because I didn't really want to die, I just didn't know how to live. Now 27 years after that promise I have grandchildren that I am so happy to be here for.

    • @gandalfthegray7425
      @gandalfthegray7425 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Your words are very honest and gives me courage to live my own life. Thank you for sharing

    • @puk4763
      @puk4763 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @Brad Johnson be strong. Suicide is rarely the answer. We know nothing of the nextlife. Be well.

    • @saifzain82
      @saifzain82 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It warms my heart that you found happiness

    • @montesa9136
      @montesa9136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Moonshyngirl - I've had three attempts as well. My only regret is not having succeeded! Life is living HELL!
      I'm glad you found your way out ......

    • @montesa9136
      @montesa9136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@puk4763 @P Uk - we don't have to know what comes after we die. All we do know is this present life is not tolerable! ANYTHING is worth trying when your living in HELL!

  • @elibennett3034
    @elibennett3034 2 ปีที่แล้ว +753

    Whenever I try to direct compassion inward I just end up sobbing. When someone expresses love to me in a way that makes it past my extensive network of distorting defenses and actually reaches me for a split second? Same thing. Just break down. It's all so raw. There is a hurt and lonely kid in this tired old body and he is convinced that being loved is dangerous and painful.

    • @dancer49lives6
      @dancer49lives6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @ Eli Bennett Well Said! Perfectly said. I feel the exact same way.

    • @stellaluv3737
      @stellaluv3737 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      i hear you 😔

    • @achaelrays
      @achaelrays 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      When I first started doing this it made me sob all the time as well! I promise as you keep doing it it will start to feel more natural and you probably won't have as big a reaction. And the same thing with affection from other people; it used to make me squirm like nothing else. I think it's a good opportunity to let yourself sit in these feelings, and not push them away or avoid triggering them again, as uncomfortable as it might be in the beginning :)

    • @lizderbnaturenerd
      @lizderbnaturenerd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I can relate. I literally unexpectedly broke down sobbing, uncontrollably, after my *ankle surgeon*, of all people, gave me a hug one time (said ankle sugeon did like, 4 surgeries on me so I knew him well lol). Got to the car and boom, couldn't stop sobbing for like, an hour lol. That was the moment when I was like "ok, something else is going on here" lol. Also had a similar thing happen after one rare car ride with a parent where they suddenly talked to me like a real human being for the first time in my 32 years of living. To then never see that side of them again. Soon as they left I started sobbing uncontrollably and couldn't stop for almost a solid hour again. That was interesting....

    • @Pepppahoo-ic5wl
      @Pepppahoo-ic5wl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      R u spying me? Well me being 18 and never trusted whoever showed love to me, finally understood I am not alone and people are out there like me ! Even I never had any accidents, or any death in my family, but yeah stress, family problems, over analyzing parents and their some disturbing behaviour towards me made me like that...Now I understand ! I felt emotional seeing ur comment...Let me cry 😭

  • @mavahenderson7757
    @mavahenderson7757 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I remember being an anxious kid and getting depressed at 17. i'm 26 now and stronger!! All from the great wonders of magic mushrooms.

    • @uncle-nice6556
      @uncle-nice6556 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I remember having some minor surgery years ago and at that point I had never done any kind of drug at all. I didn't even drink small amounts of coffee or alcohol. They hit me with an intravenous dose of shrooms and I felt so good, so positive, and so thoughtful that I felt like I could've talked Hitler out of a wagging war.

    • @chaemchoiaromdee2229
      @chaemchoiaromdee2229 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I've had my fair share of pure magic mushroom and I can say it's definitely a great psychedelic tool.

  • @ohworrrd9830
    @ohworrrd9830 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Sometimes denying it for so long makes me feel crazy just can’t go through it man. Keep y’all heads up 💯

  • @nimki7389
    @nimki7389 3 ปีที่แล้ว +651

    d-does anyone else ever feel like if u love yourself you will become a narcissist? or is it just me-

    • @ranamartin3771
      @ranamartin3771 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Yes!

    • @ponponpatapon9670
      @ponponpatapon9670 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      why do you stutter in text

    • @raven3moon
      @raven3moon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Loving yourself isn't what makes a narcissist. An inflated sense of self-importance, deep (but hidden) insecurity leading to an excessive need for external attention, and a lack of empathy for others is what makes someone a narcissist.

    • @pinstripesuitandheels
      @pinstripesuitandheels 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@ponponpatapon9670 it's a way to convey the emotions behind the words, as one would do irl. The feelings I get from the comment are: disbelief, hope, anxiety, recognition, fear of rejection and an eagerness to bond. I can actually imagine the person stuttering, I can hear the tone of their voice, the expression on their face and their body language.

    • @hueyhooverhampton7060
      @hueyhooverhampton7060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Either we love ourselves or hate ourselves. What's the balance? I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what you think of yourself. Other people will hate you regardless. Therefore, the way I think about myself will no longer be available for observation. 🤪

  • @shedaisy1979
    @shedaisy1979 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1906

    This is absolutely me...to the point that I actually feel badly for even thinking it applies to me. I always try to convince myself that I have no right to feel this way, because so many others have gone through so much worse. Thank you for sharing!!

    • @joylox
      @joylox 2 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      I had to keep reminding myself that emotional and verbal abuse is still traumatic. Just because something may not have been physical, or not as bad as others, doesn't mean it can't hurt. Everyone should feel safe asking for help and support, regardless of how big or small we may see the situation.

    • @itsok2845
      @itsok2845 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Exactly in the beginning of the vedio when he says about the terrorist attack and rape survivor.i was like bro u just did not have supportive parents and environment just think about all the refugees
      Sry I am not a native English speaker

    • @jiminycricket6428
      @jiminycricket6428 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      If anything this understanding of yourself will make you more empathetic towards other peoples suffering, even if their trauma is worse than your own. Accepting the way you feel and why, will make you more equipped for society. All our actions have a ripple effect.

    • @TaradaPryoNINJA
      @TaradaPryoNINJA 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I do the same thing. I was telling my trauma therapist that part of me doesn't feel like I should be so affected because other people have had it so much worse, but another part of me knows that what is traumatic for one person isn't traumatic for another and people shouldn't compare traumas. I remember her asking me something that has stuck with me since:
      "So why is it different for /you/, but not everyone else?"
      At the time I didn't know, I just knew I felt that way. Now I realize that it was because of the bottomless self-loathing I feel for myself. I felt it was different for me because I was not worth as much as everyone else.

    • @someone_who_doesnt_deserve1422
      @someone_who_doesnt_deserve1422 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me too.

  • @Jerryberger9235
    @Jerryberger9235 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it’s just so hard to source here

    • @georgewilliams1062
      @georgewilliams1062 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Psychedelics are the reason why i didn’t take my life when i was at my end. I was stripped of my ego and saw the beauty of life and interconnectivity and even though i still battle anxiety and depression, I’m doing better everyday and will never think in such a self destructive way again.

    • @zoeywinston6826
      @zoeywinston6826 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      LSD and mushrooms completely changed my whole outlook on life. I became a better version of myself
      This experience gave me a lot of confidence about my self and my body. A bunch of bad thought / behavior patterns were broken. One of these was pretty bad OCD that made me wash my hands a lot. It gave me a lot of hope that things will be fine, this is the one thing that I heard throughout the trip: Everything is alright. The main reason for the trip was my severe depression and it definitely helped me (although it's not gone). Before all I could do was lay in bed. Now I am trying to rebuild my life one step at a time which wasn't possible before."

    • @sarahh321
      @sarahh321 ปีที่แล้ว

      [_James_tray]
      Got psychs

    • @Jerryberger9235
      @Jerryberger9235 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sarahh321 Where to search?? Is it IG?

    • @nishaelvert1104
      @nishaelvert1104 ปีที่แล้ว

      Last year, I took shrooms at Las Vegas thinking it was going to hit like an edible or something. Shit was scary at first but amazing once you start getting deeper into your thoughts

  • @barrylyndongurley
    @barrylyndongurley 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Listening to this reminds me that even now, at 69 yrs of age, I still embody ALL of these PTSD traits to the level of caricature. My Dad was a violently abusive narcissist that made it his mission in life to make sure he destroyed any hope of normalcy or happiness for both my Mother and myself. Sadly, he largely succeeded.

    • @AlphaCxRise
      @AlphaCxRise 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😢😢😢

  • @wallybingbang4350
    @wallybingbang4350 2 ปีที่แล้ว +924

    Best explanation of C-PTSD I have heard
    The anxiety and uncertainty is soul destroying
    Raising children to be broken adults is sickening - Lack of love - spot on

    • @YasAdele90
      @YasAdele90 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I love my kids so hard. I give them everything emotionally thati l didn't have

    • @godsway8501
      @godsway8501 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@YasAdele90 🤎💙🤎💙 Ayy Shotout to the great Mothers and Fathers 🤞🏾💪🏾

    • @alletsa1575
      @alletsa1575 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It's not always a lack of love, it's a lack in understanding of how to love properly. There's a difference here.

    • @wallybingbang4350
      @wallybingbang4350 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@alletsa1575
      It has the same result

    • @wallybingbang4350
      @wallybingbang4350 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@alletsa1575
      I understand. We don’t have a rule book on love and individual children’s needs.
      If there’s abuse involved the kid’s in trouble.

  • @weirdchamp7790
    @weirdchamp7790 3 ปีที่แล้ว +613

    I don't wanna die but all my life I only enjoyed only 10% of it.

    • @Jennasworld1876
      @Jennasworld1876 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Comrade Doggo I would say that is 100% CPTSD. Please look up some info about it. That is NOT YOU. This causes actual brain injuries that can be fixed! I promise 💕

    • @westsidesmitty1
      @westsidesmitty1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I recently read that we spend 11% of our lives in REM (dreaming). I sincerely hope that 11% will be happy and fulfilling dreams for you. May those dreams carry over into your waking hours, and guide you to ''the path with heart'' that will give you joy. Metta!

    • @matheussanthiago9685
      @matheussanthiago9685 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      10% is a stretch really

    • @ashley-oh
      @ashley-oh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      please hang in there 💜 you are loved

    • @claire9547
      @claire9547 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yep! Me too!

  • @pepijnschermer5002
    @pepijnschermer5002 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for this video. A lot of these signs were once familiar, I've been struggling with this for the better part of my first thirty years and thankfully almost all of them are solved or greatly diminished now over the span of the last ten years. I wish everybody struggling with these symptoms all the strength and peace of mind in the world they need.

  • @diareeves3943
    @diareeves3943 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I related to 9/12. I’m only 13 years old. And I’ve been in therapy for 5 years now. Childhood trauma is truly devastating.

    • @Moonlight-ml2gv
      @Moonlight-ml2gv ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here! I relate to all the 12 signs and I'm 14. Been in therapy for 5 months and it sucks. Hope you heal from all this shit. Much love❤

  • @knit1purl1
    @knit1purl1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +376

    My mother was a borderline personality disorder. Insane rages. I'm over 50 and only really started processing her abuse a few years ago. I function in society but I'm screaming inside.

    • @supernovaspirit79
      @supernovaspirit79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Same, it took me about 15 years to start to process and understand what happened too.

    • @hueyhooverhampton7060
      @hueyhooverhampton7060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think everyone is watching me & I see videos & hear songs about me on people cellular telephones. 😊

    • @baddiezone
      @baddiezone 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So sorry to hear that yes sometimes it takes years to heal from those experiences.

    • @saetae9208
      @saetae9208 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      May have a Disorganized Attachment style

    • @MsKariSmith
      @MsKariSmith 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I have lived a life of mental abuse and only 3 years ago found info on narcissists. I am now 68, & have been trying to absorb and start to doing some healing. My mom is a 93 year old narc. on steroids...with dementia as an added bonus. Looking at the list, I would say I have at least 8 of the signs of PTSD. I am too old for all this crap...seems like too much to handle at my age. Not only is my body breaking down from a lifetime of stress, but now I have finally realized, my mental state is in question too.
      But...there is no choice but to carry on and try to work on healing.

  • @rustifowler9384
    @rustifowler9384 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1279

    I’ve dated people with CPTSD before, and the attraction towards more avoidant people is definitely spot on. I was often called needy just for wanting to spend time with them more than once a week.

    • @c_rx_sh
      @c_rx_sh 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      Then youve dated idiots. I dont want to be the type to say "I have ptsd" but I definitely have that shit and in that situation Ive never blamed them. I just said Im sorry but I am like this or I ignored them when they messaged me. Not the best manner neither, but Id choose this over blaming a random person anytime

    • @rustifowler9384
      @rustifowler9384 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@c_rx_sh It's true! I highly suspect one of them was actually BPD. She had a lot of the same stuff featured here, but she was also very exploitative and hypersexual.

    • @fabiolamoreno9516
      @fabiolamoreno9516 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Tbh you can’t just pin avoidance to cptsd. Because there are so many people, like me, who have this and react the exact opposite. I’ve had cptsd from my childhood for a long time now and being more aware of it now has helped me realize the unhealthy habits projected in my relationships now. I can be clingy and touchy and needy in some peoples eyes. But I also understand why someone could feel so repulsed by the idea of intimacy (not necessarily sexually). What I’m trying to say is. Avoidance can be a strong part of cptsd. But cptsd is not always going to be avoidance. Hope this gives a bit of insight

    • @ipfreely8920
      @ipfreely8920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      What's scary is that people tend to gravitate towards certain types of people. You could take a room full of women and I would pick ones with narcissism and mental health issues. Just tells you about the kind of man I am.

    • @infitine_intelligence999
      @infitine_intelligence999 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe there were other reasons why they were distant 😅

  • @kwl189
    @kwl189 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This video had me breaking down. It just hits home in so many ways, I wish it didn’t. The idea that what happened to that little boy was beyond his control, haunts him to this day. Paying for the mistakes of himself and others several decades later. I have devoted my entire life to working on so many deficiencies and hit a wall many years ago.

  • @Acelin-Schmidt
    @Acelin-Schmidt ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love that he says "we", it makes me feel like I'm not alone in my struggles. It warmed my heart.tnx😍

  • @Escreality
    @Escreality 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2604

    I'm in this video and I don't like it

    • @monicacastellanos2901
      @monicacastellanos2901 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I feel it's something I shouln't need

    • @hangukhiphop
      @hangukhiphop 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Oh dear... that's sign #13!

    • @lswilliams5283
      @lswilliams5283 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I thought the same thing!

    • @anitarose1122
      @anitarose1122 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well, my mental health plan is good. You can live a productive and peaceful life.

    • @turisteandoentexas
      @turisteandoentexas 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Don't worry, there is a solution, if we get educated about what we need to do, we can come out of this VICTORIOUS!

  • @saifzain82
    @saifzain82 2 ปีที่แล้ว +694

    Anyone ever thought how life would be without these traumatic experiences and what came after. What kind of human beings would we be without scars? The energy we would have, the love we would radiate, the achievements we would accomplish, and the money we would save from spending on therapy.
    I checked 11 of 12.

    • @Hippiekinkster
      @Hippiekinkster 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      I started writing down things I remember from my childhood, mostly from ages 2 to 13 or so. I call it "What He Might Have Been". My favorite aunt, now (sadly) deceased, once told me she thought I'd be either an astronaut or a serial killer. I've leaned towards the former, thankfully.

    • @Pepppahoo-ic5wl
      @Pepppahoo-ic5wl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I checked 12/12... And when he said bad impact from parents, I literally cried..

    • @foodiesworldUSA
      @foodiesworldUSA 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes we need to find net strength.. it’s how I feel that I don’t need therapy to forget past but it makes me stronger snd if anything I want to speak my Mind and stand up for my boundaries.. I don’t want some pathetic sympathy but I want justice and in some other videos I have seen on Sigma women is we take our revenge when time is right by standing up our grounds and shining through our struggles

    • @StAyWeIrD95
      @StAyWeIrD95 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same I didn’t think I would even check five 😔 this honestly brought me to tears 😭 now I understand myself a bit to be completely honest I think of my self as all of the above 👆🏻 but now I just feel less crazy less alone I just have this big knot 🪢 in my throat as I type this idk what to do with myself and I want so bad to get out of this rut but it’s not I just confirmed it’s PTSD from childhood things that happened honestly my husband contributes to it and he doesn’t know I think I been like this my whole life for all the trauma but when I got married 11 yrs ago I think it got me the worse and 11yrs later I have two beautiful kids 11 and 9 and I’m just barely pushing day by day and it’s so sad I feel helpless and alone in this world I feel misunderstood forever ☹️😖😭

    • @kevinclark3591
      @kevinclark3591 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@StAyWeIrD95 i feel the same way, powerless, helpless, entirely misunderstood and broken

  • @kerplunk9434
    @kerplunk9434 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video made me realize how much healing Ive done. There are flashbacks that will never go away but Im now more hopeful, mentally/emotionally stronger and not so negative.

  • @mrsomebody1402
    @mrsomebody1402 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    We need to learn to love someone we hated beyond measure..... OURSELVES! ❤ That is a very powerful message and lesson we with ptsd need to apply in order to heal forgive yourself and learn to love yourself again.

  • @animesisters1222
    @animesisters1222 2 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    "we have.." instead of "they have" is just so reassuring and better to hear.

  • @colefrick
    @colefrick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +928

    That bliss in loneliness, the routine, the suicidal tenancies, the small criticism causing big internal hurt and so many more hit so hard.

    • @victorfisher6070
      @victorfisher6070 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      We are together 💕❤️

    • @Jordan__Sloan
      @Jordan__Sloan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      shit that sounds like me too

    • @xiv69
      @xiv69 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/bQPiqsqSkYA/w-d-xo.html

    • @xiv69
      @xiv69 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@victorfisher6070 poser th-cam.com/video/bQPiqsqSkYA/w-d-xo.html

    • @xiv69
      @xiv69 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Alan Doyle do it.

  • @2010lrain
    @2010lrain 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Wow. That resonated 😳. Coming from a home where everything looked good to the outsider but felt unsafe to me was difficult to cope with. Parents were OK, not terrible people, we had a nice home with good food, toys and holidays but there was no love. And constant criticism plus an alcoholic father, and a mother who disengaged made me feel unloved and so sad. Therapy has helped. It's taken years to feel I might actually be attractive and not ugly at all. Five yrs ago I'd never post a photo of me anywhere, I couldn't even look in a mirror! Hopefully my experiences taught me to be a better mother and my children are loved and told they're loved too. Never once was I told I was loved as a child, teenager or adult! But now I'm feeling so much better and have strength to carry on after many times of not wanting to be on this earth. I didn't even know I had ptsd until recently!

    • @EvelynLawson
      @EvelynLawson ปีที่แล้ว

      Look up ☝️☝️that handle, he’s got the best tips and helps. I’ve microdosed shrooms for about 6 months now and it has really helped my CPTSD, anxiety and depression and I’ll recommend it for anyone.

  • @ajhahn7765
    @ajhahn7765 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is absolutely the most accurate video I have seen today. I hit all 12 of these signs. This is exactly me at this point, my guard is never down.

  • @Sacred-Heart-of-Jesus829
    @Sacred-Heart-of-Jesus829 3 ปีที่แล้ว +180

    I've had complex PTSD from childhood sex abuse, bullying, rape. I was a single mother at the age of 16. I've had another string of events that only multiplied it. I pray everyday that God will help heal me.

    • @_winter_maryrose4684
      @_winter_maryrose4684 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I wish you both all the well 🙌❤️

    • @yaikunamanya3038
      @yaikunamanya3038 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      my god u are so strong, hope u will heal dear

    • @hueyhooverhampton7060
      @hueyhooverhampton7060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I hope we turn out alright too. It's like being up against a wall fighting everyone.

    • @DarkMoonDroid
      @DarkMoonDroid 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      💚💙💜

    • @priyao5097
      @priyao5097 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You should try hypnosis therapy. It has been working splendidly for me so far when nothing else has. Wishing you the best.

  • @mariyas.9409
    @mariyas.9409 3 ปีที่แล้ว +259

    I tried to love a person with complex PTSD + bpd.. it was a nightmare, but she really knew how to support, how to be kind, but thought she didn't deserve love. heartbreaking.

    • @rvnged787
      @rvnged787 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      What happened man

    • @RandomHippieCreations
      @RandomHippieCreations 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Hope she got the help she deserved ♥️

    • @TwinTalon01
      @TwinTalon01 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I tried the same, and it destroyed me. Still rebuilding my life and self 5yrs later.
      She could be sweet for short sprints, but overall she was toxic as all hell.
      If you “never know which person you’ll get” when you show up to their place, leave the relationship. Period. Right there.
      The Jekyll and Hyde thing will ruin you, and what you might stand to gain is absolutely NOT worth it. Run. Run while you can.

    • @Fukura21
      @Fukura21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      @@TwinTalon01 its kinda cruel how you view them in that way, they can’t help it, they truly love the person but they are afraid, thats why you always have to understand that mentally ill people aren’t easy to be with, but if you truly care, you have to understand our struggles, saying that would only make us hate ourselves more

    • @AF3NI
      @AF3NI 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@TwinTalon01 why you talk like people with ptsd and bordeline are all the same?its way more complicated.

  • @hannahcovington3723
    @hannahcovington3723 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1. Feeling that nothing is safe
    2. Can’t relax
    3. Can’t sleep/wake up early
    4. Poor self image
    5. Drawn to unavailable people
    6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us
    7. Short temper
    8. Highly paranoid
    9. Find other people dangerous
    10. Not necessarily suicidal/ but find living exhausting
    11. Not spontaneous/ finds spontaneity extremely difficult
    12. Throws self into work/ect to find safety

  • @BBoy-te1cb
    @BBoy-te1cb หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    For me part of ptsd is I feel like I’ll never be able to get help to sort my mind. I stare long distances a lot, and I can’t hear much when I do it. I get mad and think about stuff I can’t change but hurts me. Just today my daughter heard me grumbling about it and she asked why I am mad? I think she helps me a lot. Had to fight off a home invasion when we were expecting her and since I’ve struggled a lot. But I’ve never struggled being a dad and being happy with her. I’m working on it tho and I like watching these videos. Looking into trauma and it’s effects and such might help others like it is me. Cheers to anyone who needs it, not really for anything but cheers to you if you need it

  • @mothynx
    @mothynx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +775

    Gosh this made me cry. I never knew my parents were part of my CPTSD diagnosis. I remember being hit as a child for simply talking to a boy at school, not romantically, just saying bye to him. It was conditional love. My mother still to this day brainwashes me into thinking that we had a 'glamorous' childhood. When social workers came to our house, my mum gave us lollipops to make it look like we were having fun. I was also, so afraid of the social workers going to the house. I still remember my dad giving me a chilling and disgusted look after I did that. My mum would always say 'awww you hate me so much, you hate me, I know you hate me' when the social workers would visit. Soon enough, I lied to them, telling them everything was okay, just so I didn't have to face the guilt of seeing my mother so upset. When really, I just wanted safety in my family home at the age of 14.

    • @stellaluv3737
      @stellaluv3737 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      i hear you girl 😔

    • @HeatherFaraMS
      @HeatherFaraMS 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Mother does exact same thing and still does 40 years later. My friends are bad for me. I don’t love her enough. My kid is fat. My house is a mess. I am bit doing enough as a full time working solo parent…right…

    • @esterhudson5104
      @esterhudson5104 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Yeah. I wish I didn’t, but I know what you mean. Im 58, and still can’t really let it go…

    • @elfglow4557
      @elfglow4557 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Breaks my heart:(

    • @hhn2002
      @hhn2002 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      seems like she had some problems of her own too, thats usually how it works. hurt people, hurt people.

  • @amitmeena1596
    @amitmeena1596 3 ปีที่แล้ว +402

    Everyone in the comments is so nice and helpful to each other.

    • @thaliakate444
      @thaliakate444 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Trauma can create deep empathy 💖

    • @campkira
      @campkira 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      people do need little help... not every commect section are bad...

    • @ilkku239
      @ilkku239 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      One's own pain makes him/her solidary; not wanting to see other people go through the same shit.

    • @keyleeojeda2607
      @keyleeojeda2607 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ilkku239 True

    • @ben_jammin242
      @ben_jammin242 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@thaliakate444 and its in this empathy and shared trauma where we're able to find community, understanding and compassion, and not so much alienation..

  • @respekted
    @respekted ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is so hard for me to realize. I have come to the devastating realization that my poor mother has had ptsd in her childhood.
    I am weeping because she’s spent the last 30 years alone and has dealt with this all by herself while at the same time trying to be the best mother she can be.
    My brother and I have had to deal with her catastrophizing, Lack of sleep, complaining, fears, negativity and gloom. We’ve always reacted to the symptoms and spent our emotional capital resenting her neediness, negativity and nees for attention . What a shameful waste. I wish I would have understood her, to see WHY she is the way she is.
    Right now I type this with tears. My mother is with me on vacation and I realize that I have little time left with her. The thought of her going through this breaks my heart but whats the most difficult is realizing that I broke her heart when ai get mad at her. Demanding that she explain her behaviour and her responding that she doesn’t know.
    Love your fam and your mother but most importantly seek to u understand them.
    The way she grasps my hand with her frail hands. The realization that every night she sleeps alone. With no human touch. Everything to her is her children. Help me not get mad at her again. Thank you for reading this because I am weeping and cannot tell anyone. I don’t have anyone. I need to ve steong for her in her final years and just love her. She won’t change and I want out memories to be happy

  • @erikarobinson3557
    @erikarobinson3557 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    FINALLY a summary of my reality. I couldn’t in a million years explain it like this. I’m just living it.

  • @ashleyhumphries9941
    @ashleyhumphries9941 2 ปีที่แล้ว +902

    As a mom suffering from a child loss, this was beautifully written. Thank you for being a ray of sunshine in my bleak grey world right now.

    • @jenn_1853
      @jenn_1853 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing okay. Stay strong. Your child would've never wanted to see you sad. So, try to smile as much as you can. May you get the strength to recover from your loss.

    • @markbinner2375
      @markbinner2375 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Ashley, on a TV programme the other night, Alastair Campbell quoted a phrase, "Grief is the price we pay for love". Apparently, The Queen said it after the 9/11 tragedy. Perhaps you can find some comfort in those words. Take care!

    • @SaltyShaman
      @SaltyShaman 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I am very sorry for your loss. That is every parent's worst nightmare. I extend a virtual hug if you would like one. ❤

    • @SexyTCAPdecoy4Hansen
      @SexyTCAPdecoy4Hansen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You are not alone.

    • @jiminycricket6428
      @jiminycricket6428 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      My uncle lost his child in a car accident. He turned to anger and resentment unfortunately and cut himself off from the rest of the family. This isn't what my cousin would of wanted at all, he was so happy go lucky all the time. You gave a soul a life, even if that life was cut short it was still a life. Hope you find peace, my heart goes out to you.

  • @PeaceJourney...
    @PeaceJourney... 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1492

    I still suffered every year on Christmas. My daughter would have been 31, we lost her as an infant, her heart stopped on Christmas Eve. I came to terms with the traumatic experiences of my childhood, the symptoms of terror from the robbery (fear every time I went into a store, terror of guns and strangers) when I was younger, but the holidays still have a dark spot, usually when alone late on Christmas Eve. So many years of wrapping presents for my family, trying to wipe away the tears before they left a mark on the paper or bows. This year my youngest child turned fifteen and we decided to not have the traditional Christmas, due to the pandemic and money being tight. This is the first time I've not had pain at Christmas in decades. No tree, no decorations, one small present for each of us. Just spending time together. And this video appears on my recommendation. I feel like I have a great burden lifted, I feel empty, but not the black/red/sharp images every time I close my eyes. I feel like I am just an empty vessel waiting to be filled, and looking forward to tomorrow. I still wonder what you would have been in the world and as a person, Amy, but it doesn't hurt to think of you anymore. I am ready to try to live again. Finally,
    I am at peace.

    • @ronnieforever1528
      @ronnieforever1528 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      I would like to send you a big virtual hug! I hope you find peace in your life

    • @arianamontenegro5528
      @arianamontenegro5528 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      May God give you peace and acceptance. Hugs

    • @ASeeds-uc8to
      @ASeeds-uc8to 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Funny on the paranoia, as I barely watched Narccicus and Echo and how they met in the forest less than a day ago and now this video was suggested and you are the first few comments that show up.But hey, It's not paranoia if its real.

    • @Maa_aaV
      @Maa_aaV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol

    • @manda_musings8459
      @manda_musings8459 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bless you 🥺

  • @sdmbusiness
    @sdmbusiness 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I couldn't have written a clearer description of myself. I identify with nearly every symptom. For me, my deepest fears have come to pass as I have experienced a very public recrimination in my workplace. It was arbitrary and unfair, but reinforced some of my deepest lifelong fears. I was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD and I'm trying to heal. I have a long ways to go, but I am healing. It has been difficult finding a therapist who is competent and trained in CPTSD.

    • @jimb9063
      @jimb9063 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Likewise, with a few tiny alterations to a few details.
      Had a trigger moment some years ago about a short term serious abuse event, and subsequent PTSD. Found counselling ok for this, but in working through things discovered the now blindingly obvious CPTSD from my 'normal' childhood.
      What helped me with the CPTSD eventually was the acceptance that it didn't come from the same place as the other event. Yes, I imagine my abuser also was abused, but he knew exactly what he was doing.
      My parents on the other hand went through the worst thing IMO, the death of a child, my older sister. I did feel loved in a 'good' way at times too, but there was always a controlling smothering atmosphere, in thought as well as deed. This came from the terror of not being in total control and losing another child from their perspective. The opposite of intentional harm.
      I don't know about your experience, but realising that intent isn't always reflected in outcome, and it does seem to be more F up than conspiracy in the world generally speaking, it made it a bit easier for me, and made not making the same mistakes something to aim for.

  • @gingerrivas5354
    @gingerrivas5354 ปีที่แล้ว

    I remember when I was younger I had a broken hart situation. I got depressed over two years, but one day I visited my grandma and she hold me so thigh!!! I got immediately cure from it!!! I just needed love.

  • @lunabetul9590
    @lunabetul9590 3 ปีที่แล้ว +624

    Waking up in the middle of the night, afraid of things... Does that happen to you too?

    • @X-Prime123
      @X-Prime123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Yup. With a racing heart.

    • @campkira
      @campkira 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      it a jerking it more like you falling or feel like you r forgeting something...

    • @jlnioannou
      @jlnioannou 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      All the time..🙁 I get nocturnal panic attacks. They are terrifying.

    • @yong_yakthungba6190
      @yong_yakthungba6190 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      yes😫

    • @KajDalfall
      @KajDalfall 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yes. Feel... unsafe

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 3 ปีที่แล้ว +180

    Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.

    • @LDrosophila
      @LDrosophila 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sounds pretty scary

    • @Gay-Icon
      @Gay-Icon 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Adora Belle make sure you credit them. Good luck with your book.

    • @stevedoetsch
      @stevedoetsch 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Whatever you are experiencing is not what I experience as CPTSD. That sounds social/emotional, while my experience is psychological and physical.

    • @l.5832
      @l.5832 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@stevedoetsch It would encompass all.

    • @kitssch
      @kitssch 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow this was helpful 👌

  • @nomad9598
    @nomad9598 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video is absolutely amazing. I have been officially diagnosed with Complex PTSD and everything mentioned is 100% accurate. I have forwarded this video to ĺoved ones to help them fully understand this evil condition

  • @alessandromyer
    @alessandromyer ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “We need to relearn to love someone we very unfairly hate beyond measure - ourselves”
    Your last line sums it all up
    Grateful for this 🙏

  • @lynrun7375
    @lynrun7375 3 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    "We look mean we are in fact defenseless" very well said 😔

    • @pinstripesuitandheels
      @pinstripesuitandheels 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's my dad to a "t". The more I learn about myself, the more I learn about my father, who I used to hate because he was a tyrant and an agressive, absent father. Basically my parents are two traumatized people who came together in an unhealthy relationship and made traumatized children. I am staunchly childfree.

  • @ThePuppydog16
    @ThePuppydog16 3 ปีที่แล้ว +207

    I had no idea this was even a thing. I was abused physically and mentally for my first 16 years of life. All this applies and makes me feel understood

    • @TippyPuddles
      @TippyPuddles 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Explains a lot, doesn't it?

    • @joefitzgerald2762
      @joefitzgerald2762 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      just make sure to actually go to a professional and not diagnose yourselves with something so serious

    • @angieolsson8175
      @angieolsson8175 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Agree!! Really recognized myself in this video. Felt good!

    • @rubiin15
      @rubiin15 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You *may* have DID but that is super unlikely.

    • @properpsychology1276
      @properpsychology1276 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
      “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.”
      -Sigmund Freud
      "What is most personal is most universal."
      "What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly."
      -Carl Rogers
      Hey there!,! You should check out our "Enlightening Quotes" videos ft. Sigmund Freud & Carl Rogers. Our channel is passionate about psychology education so that everyone everywhere can live a healthier life. Our goal is to create a free source of #DigitalTherapy for our subscribers.
      “We deserve some respect. You deserve some respect. You are important to other people, as much as to yourself. You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world.” -Jordan Peterson

  • @nadinnu6110
    @nadinnu6110 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    this is by many means one of the best short videos to help figuring out if you yourself have this. Im really thankful for it. I think now I need to digest this...

  • @lilysui
    @lilysui 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The illustration is so heartwarming. Thank you!

  • @poplapmeisie
    @poplapmeisie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +455

    All this time I thought I was introverted, meanwhile I resonate with all 12 signs of PTSD. I never wanted to accept that my childhood trauma still affects me, but this video has encouraged me to seek help from a counselor. Thanks for your ever-helpful videos xx

    • @joylox
      @joylox 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm definitely still introverted and prefer being alone or with a few people, but I talked to a few people and it helped a lot. Mind you, I also have other struggles and felt I had to hide my disabilities for a while and I think that's why I still feel so tired around people. I tend to take on their emotions (like empathy to the extreme), plus I don't feel safe being myself around others due to my past, and it's a lot of work to fake it.

    • @MC-wh3xm
      @MC-wh3xm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You don't have PTSD

    • @enbiaroace
      @enbiaroace 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@MC-wh3xm
      What is wrong with you.

    • @k.c7655
      @k.c7655 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@MC-wh3xm Shut up

    • @Squoop1
      @Squoop1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@MC-wh3xm How would you know? Are you them? Are you an omnipotent being who knows everything? Kinda rude, yknow

  • @amyturkharp
    @amyturkharp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4029

    If you've experienced trauma, consider reading The Body Keeps The Score by Bessell Van Der Kolk. I have experienced CPTSD for 31 years and found it immensely empowering and helpful to understand the science of trauma and its impact on the brain.
    Also: don't wait for a diagnosis. If, like me, you don't want to go through years of jumping through hoops and ticking boxes by taking SSRIs in order to be worthy of further investigation by doctors, (although no judgement if you do want to take them!), best thing if you suspect you are suffering is do your own research and seek treatment/therapy accordingly on your own terms. You know your body like no one else does!

    • @lurb1557
      @lurb1557 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Amy Turk Omg - this book changed my life! Everyone who has experienced trauma *must* read it.

    • @sobrevida157
      @sobrevida157 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Have either of you tried the treatments introduced in the back? any thoughts?

    • @flreansjukebox987
      @flreansjukebox987 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      I wish I had enough attention span to read a book

    • @lurb1557
      @lurb1557 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Brandon Muñoz listen to it on audible! You get one free download.

    • @jenniele
      @jenniele 3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      Also consider checking out the book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker!

  • @MrPetesmyth
    @MrPetesmyth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for creating this. It is life affirming.
    I work with new fathers experiencing mental health difficuties. I have been through my own journey with trauma related to my upbringing, emotional neglect, lack of love and safety, my then witnessing and caring for one of the perpetrators of this, my dad who got alzheimers in 2018 and died in 2020 mid pandemic.
    The ongoing mental health issues from this whole experience are varied and complex. On the surface I am a gregarious, loving, high functioning dad and husband, but constant exhausting battles with my mind ensue. Some days/weeks better than others. But always a navigating, finding peace in the gaps between.
    This is the first and most complete explanation of my experiences, it made me cry with relief.
    Thank you. I can now refer to this, share this as a way to explain my perspective and help others find theirs.

    • @EvelynLawson
      @EvelynLawson ปีที่แล้ว

      Look up ☝️☝️that handle, he’s got the best tips and helps. I’ve microdosed shrooms for about 6 months now and it has really helped my CPTSD, anxiety and depression and I’ll recommend it for anyone.

  • @michelleparvin6358
    @michelleparvin6358 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I suffer from PTSD myself and when I first found out in 2021 I found this very helpful to understand a little bit more about it

  • @piroshk1968
    @piroshk1968 2 ปีที่แล้ว +829

    For those of you watching this and realizing this is exactly their situation: you are definitely not alone in this. I struggled for years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Ive gone through a good 19 years of physical/emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissistic unstable mother, and feel for those who have gone through similar experiences seeing firsthand how difficult living with CPTSD can be. Still stuck in this hole but theres always hope for things to get better, no matter how awful
    if youre here reading this, you've made it this far in life and Im so proud of you. Take care ❤️

    • @butterbean3892
      @butterbean3892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      So true, sending hugs your way!! Keep the faith ❤️

    • @bajikeisuke442
      @bajikeisuke442 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yes i made this far. And it's boring to leave with this. It's hell time to quit.

    • @cascadehopsrule
      @cascadehopsrule 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I almost passed out at work today, I had to go to the bathroom and cry, i think I started to release 40 years of trauma. Side note, I mentioned to my mother about my issues with blood sugar and life issues. The only response I got was she said she's coming into the kitchen later to get some wine and walked away. Took me decades to accept that as a response

    • @jaaazdoit
      @jaaazdoit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I feel you. I grew up with that kind of mom too

    • @TitaniumTronic
      @TitaniumTronic ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I'm just realizing how messed up I am, but I'm only 15, my family is not supportive and mental health to them is just attention seeking, I haven't been hugged in years, and honestly hate the idea of being hugged now, I can't maintain any friendships, I'm venting in a fucking youtube comment section cause I have no friends that I trust, I act very tough at day but when night comes around and I'm alone with my thoughts I have a total breakdown.
      Even if I open my shit up, which I tried doing before, I don't think my family would use any of their resources to get me some help, I'm slowly falling apart, my tough carefree happy image type of teenager is slowly showing its cracks, I want to just go see a therapist so they can tell me wtf is wrong with me, which I suspect to be cptsd as I was raised in an emotionally abusive and physical abusive household.
      Someone please fucking tell me what I should do because I really am starting to lose my hope and will to do shit about it, maybe I'd just lay here and die.

  • @GlowySweetFabulous
    @GlowySweetFabulous 2 ปีที่แล้ว +272

    "We associate bliss with having to see no one ever."
    Spending Christmas alone by choice. That sentence sums me up.

    • @3dini
      @3dini 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yet, feeling guilty and selfish that you want to spend time to yourself on such a festive holiday. No? Just me? Okay.

    • @Gr95dc
      @Gr95dc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Christmas alone squad unite

    • @GlowySweetFabulous
      @GlowySweetFabulous 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@3dini I normally see my niece and nephews but I felt worse this year. It could be the quarantine and new variants. I just felt too overwhelmed 😞 I still feel bad I didn't see them

    • @Kh5thgait
      @Kh5thgait 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same.

    • @nagsterthegangster3548
      @nagsterthegangster3548 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hey man, you'll get em next year. It's not the last holiday, keep working and eventually it won't feel like quite "so much".
      I'm going to my first family Christmas in the last 2 or 3 years today. Ya know a month ago it really felt like too much, but my mom asked me 3 weeks ago and It felt achievable, so i'm gunna go for it.
      There's 2 episodes of parks and rec where 2 characters do a day once a year they call "treat yo self", and its an awesome premise the way they handle it in the show. Cuz It feels like everyone else is working half as hard and having twice as much fun as I am sometimes if you go on FB (which I dont) or look at socials. The point is, you aint gotta do a whole day of straight ballin' out to treat yo self, it can be hitting the grocery store and grabbing dope snacks for the week. But try it out sometime when you've been doing well paper-wise and just treat yo self! Just get that $80 game (with a friend if possible, socialize a lil) and tear through it in the evenings with em online, or get that weird $150 *thing* you've wanted to do a hobby. Isolation isn't the worst thing in the world, but without direction it can be. Hobbies help in my opinion. Also gives you something to talk about with people.
      Take care man, wishing the best for you! :D
      Keep your stick on the ice, im pullin for ya!

  • @Ccodebits
    @Ccodebits 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you, feels good to know that I am not alone. And there is someone who actually took the time to acknowledge my situation.

  • @maritrnning5357
    @maritrnning5357 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you mister! I needed this..Glad also for your reference to "ourselves" makes it more...human :)

  • @marra5203
    @marra5203 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Being the survivor of a death of a brother, sexual abuse as a child, family in debt and no perspective in live, and being so strict with myself I managed to finish my PhD and become a professor yet still think about suicide every single day, this hit bullseye for me.

    • @piaberni3735
      @piaberni3735 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Omg I feel you so much. The more I Managed to be successful the more I realised "that wasnt it".

    • @amberc3728
      @amberc3728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lots of love to you.❤

    • @lordbeerus8750
      @lordbeerus8750 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      suicide is not the way, i have also ptsd and it is quite terrifying one. When I sleep or eat I see 100s of dead peoples around me . I have been to many psychiatrist and they didn't help me at all. I am struggling very hard to overcome my trauma and yet i have never had any suicidal thoughts, cuz I believe life is precocious.

    • @GM-jv9jz
      @GM-jv9jz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lordbeerus8750 Hundreds of dead people around you? I doubt it. Your a wack job.

  • @Scyber_Official
    @Scyber_Official 3 ปีที่แล้ว +340

    I really wish this video came out at least 5 days before it was actually released. I wouldn't had tried to commit suicide by swallowing 60 sleeping pills in a drunken manic state (I was diagnosed as Bipolar) & then freaked out called 911, rushed to the hospital, placed in a medically induced coma to pump my stomach. Yet I am glad I called for help when I did (and my slow metabolism) because I seriously would not be typing this out.
    I had to get my medication re-adjusted and diagnosed with C-PTSD & Borderline Personality with underlining depression and anxiety.
    The doctors said I was over-medicated with the wrong meds, gave me only 2, one of which I only need to take if I'm feeling really anxious or having a panic attack.
    I'm getting a rush of emotions just typing all this out. As I'm typing this I'm in a safe place- a transitional living home with nurses, therapists and a psychologist, along with 9 other patients. I'm very lucky to be alive and for the help and blessings I'm currently receiving, as well as the police, paramedics, and the doctors/nurses at the hospital for saving my life.
    You only have one chance at life, there will be times of serious distress (like the C-19 crisis currently going on as I type this) but there is always a light at the dark tunnel, you just need to find it.
    Thank you, and bless you for reading this.

    • @thaliakate444
      @thaliakate444 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Take care of yourself 💖

    • @X-Prime123
      @X-Prime123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Keep going mate.

    • @YourAverageGoyl
      @YourAverageGoyl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Tell them to shove their BPD diagnosis. CPTSD often mimics ALL the symptoms of BPD.

    • @abutterfly7975
      @abutterfly7975 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      God loves you hon and wants to help you. He also wants to tell us that he died for our sins so we could join him in heaven. All u have to do is believe Jesus is the son of God and that He died on the cross for you. U will go to heaven after that and He will work with U to change ur life.It’s the only real answer to life and after u die. I hope to see u and so many more WHEN ITS OUR TIME in heaven God bless u all!

    • @Picca65
      @Picca65 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Prayin for you!

  • @heathercarter9741
    @heathercarter9741 ปีที่แล้ว

    I was diagnosed with this today and this is the first video that really helped me understand it better. Thanks to it's creator.