She was my therapist. She really helped me understand my depression. The kindness and compassion she showed me was a model for how I should treat myself. Thank you Dr Xie.
God, the Lord Jesus Christ loves you! Restore your relationship with God by repenting of your sins and putting your faith in Jesus Christ, "... that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)
Excellent! I love when she says, "Having flaws simply means you're normal." I also love how she compares learning self-compassionate talk to that of learning a foreign language - "We wouldn't know how to speak a new language just by simply acknowledging it exists, right?" It is an ongoing practice.
Negative > Positive Replace each negative thought with positive ones. It takes time to form new neurological pathways. It is completely necessary that you do this for the prosperity of yourself and others. Have a nice day. Form those pathways!!
Thank you, Dr Xie! I've struggled with self-hatred for about 10 years, and only recently started figuring this all out for myself. Then I was taking to my therapist about it, and she instantly recommended this video to me. It's good to hear you put it so well, and to know even someone as successful as you is still learning it. 🥰🥰🥰
i deal with so much self hatred. i do alot of mindfulness/meditation practises. doing my best just to be the observer experiencing this feeling. i have no real idea why it is such a "go to" for me. familiar neuropathway to be sure
I view the research and education around self-compassion to be truly heroic work. There is nothing that is more relevant or healing for us today, particularly in Western culture. This is a beautiful, superbly structured and delivered talk. On a personal note, I liked how you embedded a little cultural satire by inverting the Dalai Lama's quote about how to make ourselves and others happy (debilitating ourselves and others by practicing shame, rather than compassion). On a superficial note - "phenomenon" vs. "phenomena" - thank you for getting it right, whereas so many PhD's get it wrong. Not that we would want to shame them for it. =) Thank you.
This is tha absolute truth right here, I was the happiest when I was practising self love and always put myself and needs first, it was so satisfying and fulfilling, time to rewire my brain once again
I think shame comes from believing we are not enough. From believing we are not doing enough. The list could go on. How do we stop this? How to stop the shame. Hey, I love you just for you. I love you for existing. You are worthy because you are here on this Earth. May you go & show others compassion also. ✌🏼❤️🙏🏻😘
Thank you for your beautiful talk. The difference you laid out between shame and guilt is something I'd never thought of before. This was very illuminating. Thank you for sharing your journey in a way that can help so many other people
I just found this TED Talk. The subject of negative thinking has been an infliction for me most of my life. Weiyang Xie has brought more clarity to how I can identify and reduce negativity in my inner thoughts. Thank you Weiyang Xie. John
I can relate to a lot of what this woman says. Look to my inner thoughts and feelings and it's really hard to get out of my thought in my mind, but it sure helps to hear that you're not alone in this feeling
There is similar ted talk by Shauna Shapiro ... I have read a book by her called Good morning I love you... It was very insightful and helped me find a measure of self compassion
very insightful, practical and helpful talk. let us start to practice the new language of self-compassion talk. the world will be better one not only for ourselves but for all....thanks
This Dr. really made this topic so much easier to digest. I enjoyed this talk so much. It even made me laugh. So relatable. And definitely trying self-compassion.
7:40 8:40 I think I can try everything when. I judge I will challenge it and then take action on one thing good and small to prove to myself see I’m a credible person
I have a question: I found a lot of mental health issues develop either as internalization or defense mechanism against the sh*t humans say or do to each other. Human beings as a species is just horrible. How do we take care of ourselves in an increasingly toxic world? How can we practice self-compassion when all we receive from others are judgment and abuse, often for things we have no control over like appearances or race?
Look up the ancient practical philosophy of Stoicism. It began in Ancient Greece and was re-popularized several hundred years later in Ancient Rome. It's helpful enough in the daily lives of human beings; that many U.S. presidents such as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were known to have read translations of Stoic works, and it's gone on to become again re-popularized in the modern day. The Roman Stoic philosopher Epictetus said (basically - I Amy be leaving some out) that there are things that are up to us and things that are not up to us. The things that are up to us, all come from within us. They are our own thoughts, words, actions, ideas, and opinions. The things that are not up to us, are the thoughts, words, actions, ideas, and opinions of other people, as well as (ultimately) our health, reputation; success, and misfortune. Now, those last 4 (and other similar things), we do have some influence over, so we have partial control over those, but not entire control. We have to use what is entirely in our control (our own thoughts, words, actions, ideas, and opinions) as best we can to play whatever cards we are dealt in life, or rather, whatever circumstances or situations arise. The big thing that gets people really worked up and stressed out and angry, for the most part, always seems to be this constant struggle with their inability to control what they can not control - what comes from within another person. We can not control that which comes from another, we can only control our own reaction to those things. These ideas, and Stoic philosophy in general, is the basis for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is extremely effective talk therapy developed in modern day psychology and used to help a laundry list of mental issues and handicaps, from ADHD to depression to PTSD, to anxiety, to disorders, and on and on. There is lots of information and lots of channels on TH-cam about Stoicism, which will lead you to all of the important Stoic works of the Stoics, which you can buy modern translations of at almost any bookstore or online. :)
Practicing self-compassion will increase your ability to be compassionate towards others too. You will be able to see their actions - even the bad ones like judgment and abuse - in the context of their own insecurities and their own lack of self-compassion. This will enable you to protect yourself from letting such things get to you and even to put up the right boundaries to remove them from your life if necessary. By honing your own skill of self-compassion, you can protect yourself from your own negative thoughts as well as from the influence that other peoples' negativity can have on you. And if something gets to you - which is inevitable and part of the human experience - you can use it as another exercise to practice self-compassion, further strengthening your resilience for the next time you face a similar situation. With this understanding you will be able to see every new experience, good or bad, as an opportunity to further grow. You will set a flywheel of compassion in motion, which is what this world desperately needs.
This content exhibits a remarkable breadth of insights. A book I read with like-minded themes guided my intellectual growth. "Kindness Unveiled: A Journey to a Happier Life" by why i live a happy life
A person who thinks only about themselves can never be very pleasing to the Supreme Lord. This is actually going against our true spiritual nature. Our eternal function is to render loving service to the Supreme Lord and his children. When we are in harmony with our eternal spiritual function and the desire of the Supreme Lord, then we are in a healthy and happy condition. We will always be kind and compassionate to others.
God, the Lord Jesus Christ loves you! Restore your relationship with God by repenting of your sins and putting your faith in Jesus Christ, "... that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)
She was my therapist. She really helped me understand my depression. The kindness and compassion she showed me was a model for how I should treat myself. Thank you Dr Xie.
I am through a very difficult period...I wish this will help me
God, the Lord Jesus Christ loves you! Restore your relationship with God by repenting of your sins and putting your faith in Jesus Christ, "... that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)
Excellent! I love when she says, "Having flaws simply means you're normal." I also love how she compares learning self-compassionate talk to that of learning a foreign language - "We wouldn't know how to speak a new language just by simply acknowledging it exists, right?" It is an ongoing practice.
How does this not have more views, it’s fantastic! Positive self-talk truly is like learning a new language!!
You are right sis kara
Yes!!! Same thought Running in my mind
The hardest new language we will ever learn.
Probably because the audio is really poor quality
so true
She was so sincere - I appreciate this so much
Her vulnerability was charming and made her talk very persuasive.
Whatever you are saying to yourself , you're listening, so be attentive!
I was going to comment as you did. Beautiful wisdom from this psychologist.
Great ❤
Negative > Positive
Replace each negative thought with positive ones.
It takes time to form new neurological pathways.
It is completely necessary that you do this for the prosperity of yourself and others.
Have a nice day. Form those pathways!!
Whatever you are telling yourself, you're listening...Awesome 💯
Gonna break this chain that has tormented my life for to long. Time to be free y’all
an exceptional talk. this is really a core issue i have.
Thank you, Dr Xie! I've struggled with self-hatred for about 10 years, and only recently started figuring this all out for myself. Then I was taking to my therapist about it, and she instantly recommended this video to me. It's good to hear you put it so well, and to know even someone as successful as you is still learning it. 🥰🥰🥰
i deal with so much self hatred. i do alot of mindfulness/meditation practises. doing my best just to be the observer experiencing this feeling. i have no real idea why it is such a "go to" for me. familiar neuropathway to be sure
I view the research and education around self-compassion to be truly heroic work. There is nothing that is more relevant or healing for us today, particularly in Western culture. This is a beautiful, superbly structured and delivered talk. On a personal note, I liked how you embedded a little cultural satire by inverting the Dalai Lama's quote about how to make ourselves and others happy (debilitating ourselves and others by practicing shame, rather than compassion). On a superficial note - "phenomenon" vs. "phenomena" - thank you for getting it right, whereas so many PhD's get it wrong. Not that we would want to shame them for it. =) Thank you.
You said it!
This is tha absolute truth right here, I was the happiest when I was practising self love and always put myself and needs first, it was so satisfying and fulfilling, time to rewire my brain once again
I think shame comes from believing we are not enough. From believing we are not doing enough.
The list could go on. How do we stop this? How to stop the shame.
Hey, I love you just for you. I love you for existing.
You are worthy because you are here on this Earth.
May you go & show others compassion also. ✌🏼❤️🙏🏻😘
Thank you for your beautiful talk. The difference you laid out between shame and guilt is something I'd never thought of before. This was very illuminating. Thank you for sharing your journey in a way that can help so many other people
"Having flaws simply means you're normal"
I just found this TED Talk. The subject of negative thinking has been an infliction for me most of my life. Weiyang Xie has brought more clarity to how I can identify and reduce negativity in my inner thoughts. Thank you Weiyang Xie.
John
I can relate to a lot of what this woman says. Look to my inner thoughts and feelings and it's really hard to get out of my thought in my mind, but it sure helps to hear that you're not alone in this feeling
Bless you, you beautiful person. This helped me so much.
her talk reminded of the book Healing the toxic shame that binds you by Bradshaw
Thank you Weiyang Xie for your genuine sincerity, sharing your honest story and wisdom... very inspiring and appreciated! :>)
There is similar ted talk by Shauna Shapiro ... I have read a book by her called Good morning I love you... It was very insightful and helped me find a measure of self compassion
Thanks for sharing
Powerful. I need compassion. Let's try self compassion.
very insightful, practical and helpful talk. let us start to practice the new language of self-compassion talk. the world will be better one not only for ourselves but for all....thanks
Being honest is being strong.
Absolutely fantastic, compassionate talk.
I wanna know who on earth downvoted this video?! It's fantastic
I have a really hard time accepting my mistake but now I see it's okay and just need to work with my new vocabulary
Wow she is really smart.
Everyone should see this, well done!
This is literally everything. 🧡 Thank you so much
This hit home for me.
This was so good. Very helpful and validating. Valuable information. Thank you!!!!
Best thing I have heard this year
Omg you talked to me. I have this and I don't want to feel like this anymore. Thank you.
This talk was very helpful and insightful. I’m going to try her suggestions.
Excellent talk and thanks deeply for helping my aching heart and head. Peace out!
this made me cry on the train to uni
Whatever you are saying to yourself, you are listening.
This Dr. really made this topic so much easier to digest. I enjoyed this talk so much. It even made me laugh. So relatable. And definitely trying self-compassion.
Beautiful ! Thank you Dre Xie :)
thank you so much!
thank you for this weiyang
Thank you so much ❤️
amazing i feel great after this talk
Thank you so much! I appreciate the talk .I really needed to hear it ! So inspiring!
This is very insightful and great tips thank you for making this video and very practical.
Very practical and insightful information! It gives content and life to “good attitude” and being proactive.
thank you ❤️
That was very good. Thanks for this great talk
This was wonderful, thank you!
Thank you 🌻🌟
very inspiring and helpful talk!!! love it!!!
This really helped! Thank you!
Thank you ...!
Thank you!
Absolutely excellent
Terrific! So true and so helpful.
7:40
8:40
I think I can try everything when. I judge I will challenge it and then take action on one thing good and small to prove to myself see I’m a credible person
Such an amazing talk thank you💚
thank you, thank you! outstanding.
Thank you for this wonderful talk!
This is amazing, Thank you
Beautiful talk thank you!
For me I'll admit I say those things to myself 24/7.
Very nice and important message. Thank's ♥️
I have a question: I found a lot of mental health issues develop either as internalization or defense mechanism against the sh*t humans say or do to each other. Human beings as a species is just horrible. How do we take care of ourselves in an increasingly toxic world? How can we practice self-compassion when all we receive from others are judgment and abuse, often for things we have no control over like appearances or race?
Look up the ancient practical philosophy of Stoicism. It began in Ancient Greece and was re-popularized several hundred years later in Ancient Rome. It's helpful enough in the daily lives of human beings; that many U.S. presidents such as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were known to have read translations of Stoic works, and it's gone on to become again re-popularized in the modern day.
The Roman Stoic philosopher Epictetus said (basically - I Amy be leaving some out) that there are things that are up to us and things that are not up to us. The things that are up to us, all come from within us. They are our own thoughts, words, actions, ideas, and opinions. The things that are not up to us, are the thoughts, words, actions, ideas, and opinions of other people, as well as (ultimately) our health, reputation; success, and misfortune. Now, those last 4 (and other similar things), we do have some influence over, so we have partial control over those, but not entire control. We have to use what is entirely in our control (our own thoughts, words, actions, ideas, and opinions) as best we can to play whatever cards we are dealt in life, or rather, whatever circumstances or situations arise.
The big thing that gets people really worked up and stressed out and angry, for the most part, always seems to be this constant struggle with their inability to control what they can not control - what comes from within another person. We can not control that which comes from another, we can only control our own reaction to those things.
These ideas, and Stoic philosophy in general, is the basis for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is extremely effective talk therapy developed in modern day psychology and used to help a laundry list of mental issues and handicaps, from ADHD to depression to PTSD, to anxiety, to disorders, and on and on.
There is lots of information and lots of channels on TH-cam about Stoicism, which will lead you to all of the important Stoic works of the Stoics, which you can buy modern translations of at almost any bookstore or online. :)
@@X3000Chan thank you for this great comment!
Practicing self-compassion will increase your ability to be compassionate towards others too. You will be able to see their actions - even the bad ones like judgment and abuse - in the context of their own insecurities and their own lack of self-compassion. This will enable you to protect yourself from letting such things get to you and even to put up the right boundaries to remove them from your life if necessary.
By honing your own skill of self-compassion, you can protect yourself from your own negative thoughts as well as from the influence that other peoples' negativity can have on you. And if something gets to you - which is inevitable and part of the human experience - you can use it as another exercise to practice self-compassion, further strengthening your resilience for the next time you face a similar situation.
With this understanding you will be able to see every new experience, good or bad, as an opportunity to further grow. You will set a flywheel of compassion in motion, which is what this world desperately needs.
Really great thank you 🙏
This content exhibits a remarkable breadth of insights. A book I read with like-minded themes guided my intellectual growth. "Kindness Unveiled: A Journey to a Happier Life" by why i live a happy life
Amazing! Thankyou!
Thank you
beautiful...!
Great help!
Nice talk. Thanks!
Beautiful!
Very nice talk.
Nice one
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Love this!
Wonderful English pronounciation!
Thank you~~\!!
Profound
❤❤❤ very helpful...
So true❤
Awesome!!!
This video was so quiet for some reason. Get deafened by the ads :P
Good video!!
this talk is a good one!!!
ച
' Dan
Love ❤
insightful.
I can't even get to the front gate. Never mind hold down a job.
Woot!
If you want to debilitate others, just shame them…hahaha
Audio is too quiet
I’m on the only one that hates the term mental health
10:52 Thank me later.
A person who thinks only about themselves can never be very pleasing to the Supreme Lord. This is actually going against our true spiritual nature. Our eternal function is to render loving service to the Supreme Lord and his children. When we are in harmony with our eternal spiritual function and the desire of the Supreme Lord, then we are in a healthy and happy condition. We will always be kind and compassionate to others.
Hard accent to tolerate... volume level way too low also.
The hospitable plot puzzlingly hover because daisy compellingly reach including a vengeful hobbies. oceanic, ill-fated budget
even self hate can be sometimes an act of self love.
God, the Lord Jesus Christ loves you! Restore your relationship with God by repenting of your sins and putting your faith in Jesus Christ, "... that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)
"Shame is always self-destructive" is absolutely wrong. Have you heard of the word "shameless?"? It has a reason it is usually negative.
You're mixing colloquial use of the word with the specific concept she defines as 'shame'.