Or, sell their properties, buy a classic convertible, move in with eldest daughter's family, and then, with their basic daily needs met, and money in the bank, go cruisin' for supply!
They will always find the playmates, as there are so many desperate women there, willing to be loved. At 70s can hook 60s, or 50s, at 80s can hook 70s.
And with this I basically end watching videos on this topic; nothing else needs to be seen and known from now on. Thank you prof. Vaknin for insights provided and immense real knowledge on this topic. Time to start focusing for real on myself and stop questioning why this and why that.
@Ralu Wow! You took the words right out of my head. I've been watching all sorts of videos about Narcissists for a little over a year now, and this particular one from Sam has finally allowed me to close the door and look no further for explanations or closure. Today the pain ends and the awareness begins. I am satisfied with all that I've learned about this subject now. I accept what he is and what he did to me, mentally and emotionally. Today I can finally walk away and into a brand new day.😌🧘🏽♀️📿
I'm wondering why I think i still love him. But I am also still reeling as though I'd been hit by a baseball bat in the head..and beaten on my heart. This video describes So Well ,so much of what I experienced in my relationship, too! The parts, though that were not mentioned were the religious sides..when he would use the Bible to make himself authority.
@@cdns1192 you will all come back to watch Sam Vaknin videos to try understand your narcissist.... but you will never be able to understand him/her.. so you will keep watching these videos.
“If you refuse to play my game exactly how and exactly when I want it, precisely, if you make any demands whatsoever or modificaitons, if you tinker, if you suggest, if you give advice, if you try to help, whatever, I walk.” Wow.
This is so very, very scary. Please take stock of it. This is very real. Don't let them hurt you! Stay guarded. This is your life, and you only have one. Protect it from these people. They are very damaged people.
I have the strangest feeling watching this...The music, the way this man moves through the world, your voice and words...It has truly captured the essence of the bubble they live in. So selfish , cruel and delusional yet eerily blissful. The emotional immaturity is painfully obvious. Well done!
@@littlelily4 I can speak from my own experience...I believe it has alot to do with our own unhealed parts from our traumatic childhoods..they cause us to sometimes be drawn to narcissistic type people and, likewise, we make perfect victims for them, too:(
@@littlelily4 They have no core personality, so when they love bomb you, they also unconsiously copies your personality in the lovebombing phase, making you feel self love for the first time through them. This mostly works towards people with bad childhoods, bad family and as a result thereof no selvworth or selflove.
@@rebeccapolanco I sadly agree. What chance did I have being the daughter of a Narcissistic father who had no boundaries? Learned how to be near perfect narcissistic supply to survive. Went no contact with current narc and now I need to get the interjects out of my head and not be codependent again. Ever.
It is so sad to accept the truth of what it’s like to live with these individuals. For anyone out there who is questioning what the hell is going on, this dramatization tells it like it is. I lived it for 40 years. The shared fantasy can be so amazing, but there’s always that sense that something is off. And the hall of mirrors they create keeps you in their control. Hard to believe you are actually married to a robot who is hollow inside. Yeah, it hurts like hell to know they never loved you ... yet you still loved them even more thinking it would save them from themselves.
@@susanoneplus9056 in my experience this isn't acurate, most things fall on a continuum, including brain disorders especially. Some do feel empathy to some degree, and feel love. It might not be as rich and textured as most understand love to be, but it's still connected to powerful emotions. Not knowing what to do with those thoughts and feelings definitely. Let the nightmare begin! I would agree though that it can be helpful to see it black and white to protect some from falling victim to hope.
@@lidiyas7153 For me 32 years. It’s not a fault to have love and empathy in your heart. It is the fault of a predator who takes advantage of a beautiful heart. Many blessings to you keep educating yourself about narcissism it’s the only thing that helps until you develop enough self love to permanently walk away !
@@lidiyas7153 I supported my narc in every way possible. She hadn’t worked for 32 years. She didn’t take care of the house or very good care of our four children now adults. I would come home to a dirty house and hungry kids. What was she doing during the time she had alone ? Hmmm ! She belonged to three different dating sites. Being with a narc is like stepping in Pooh everyday. Yeah you know it’s out thief but we manage to step in it again, day after day.
Sentence often used :"I just want to live a simple and happy life" Meaning I will do whatever pleases me and when it pleases me, you are not suppose to question my decisions and actions because I'll turn into monster and kill you with words, then I'll ignore you for some time, spice it up with some love & romance again until you say the wrong word... My weapon is always ready and anything can be a trigger. I feel for every single person going through this because I'm picking up pieces of myself right now, hoping I'll regain strength and return to be my true self again...😔
For so many times my narc husband told me that he never loved me, ever...it broke my heart and couldn't believe him until recently, after 12 years in marriage, that finally am so convinced he was being honest now that I realized he was incapable of loving...thanks to his abusive behaviours that finally I could tell him to his face that I no longer love him, my love died when he allowed me to miscarry our 9-week unborn second child with so much neglect and abandonment...it was the turning point that opened my eyes how evil his treatment to me being pregnant and had to look after my daughter who was only 3 years old back then...how could he not put himself second and that unborn child first? Now I know why and am getting ready for the separation as he told me he would leave since I show no interest in playing his dirty game. May God keep my daughter and I safe 'til he's out of our lives.
Pretty much says it all…how sad for the narcissist who fools himself into living and believing a lie and for his playmate who thought she could love him enough to change his outlook on life. It doesn’t work. I know. 🥺😥
And person that has. A healthy mind and emotional state~ would run!!! But not a person that has had childhood trauma, subconsciously we know all that. It’s oddly comfortable…. K, I’ll give it a shot with you!!🤔🙄 we have.to take responsibility for our dysfunction too. This was very hard let in, but needed! Thanks!
@@rhondawatts2578 no I didn't. I had figured her out. She ended it on the day before meeting my parents. Like Sam says... they don't want anything serious. It's all one big game.
These characteristics of a narcissist can and will drain the essence of one's spirit and soul....it is absolutely necessary to be cautious in protecting your boundaries and space..
A Toddler in a grownup body! Never grown up and won’t ! Why should he? Thanks to the codependent, learned helplessness victim will do it all for him. Sobering. We all need help
@@simpletruths5322 I agree; knowledge is power as narcissists seem to be attracted to certain people who were raised by narcissists as well. I think therapy would also help being that it is cathartic and gives one tools on recognizing the genesis and avoiding the behavior.
@@cyndijohnson5473 totally agree! There are red flags early on in the ‘relationship’. I believe we all meet unhealthy people, but what separates those of us who stay compared to those who don’t requires insight into yourself . I had to take that deep, painful dive. Still working through it 🙂
My ex is doing this to a 31 year old woman who suffers from severe anxiety disorder. Everything you just described is exactly how he thinks and perceives himself. There is no regard for her. I tried to warn her but she doesn’t believe. I know exactly what he is going to do to her because he has told me.
I made the mistake of telling my Xnarc " You can't break me !" He has tried breaking me in everyway. I'm 7 months No Contact at all... This week he sealed off my chimney and I almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning 🤔😡 Almost the perfect murder! Don't play the game ! It will cost you to Play , maybe even your life . Excellent video Professor Sam!!
THIS VIDDEO DESERVES A BIJILLION LIKES!!!!!! IF I WAS A MILLIONAIRE I WOULD PUT THIS VIDEO IN A TV COMMERCIAL, ALL OVER THE WORLD FOR EVERYONE TO SEE. I WOULD PAY SO IT WOULD REMAIN SHOWING UP ON YOUR TV OR ADS ON YOU TUBE OR ANY SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORK FOR MANY TYEARS AHEAD AS this video could be categorized as a life saving video. THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO IN THE HISTORY OF YOU TUBE. EXEL-ENT! THANK YOU PROFESSOR! You truly are what a professor should be. I am truly humbled.
Thank you Dr. Vaknin for your insight into all the narrow corners of existence your wonderful work and videos like these attributes me with the twisted sense of humour of looking back at all the shittiest relationships in my life with an unusual fat smile, life goes on
Thank you for this video.I will take it as a daily remembrance.Even with many times of abandonement I see a PERSON in front of me.You always say "there's no one!!!!!!" This video shows very clear what it means.... but even more how it FEELS on my side. There's an astronaut packed in a suite which not allows any real touch with my world or me !This visible astronaut in your video is perfect to use another 'sense' .
Wow!! So True! You are just the best! When I started to push him to commit after 3 yrs of living together he would get a lot of anxiety and anger. We finally ended rekationship. It was hard at the beginning, but we deserve respect and true love! You are just so precise, Sam❤ ❤
I’ve been following you for years, but this video is the one that caused me to finally subscribe to your channel. I can definitely relate, thank you 😊👍
Had a good laugh with this one. Yes this is the crazy narcissist world. I parted from my narcissist 17 years ago. She is still running around like a crazed animal looking for the right one. Married six weeks and off again. Living with a man she said she hates but has nowhere else to go. No friends, won't talk to her own children, tries to move in with me again and again many times but no joy there either for her. Now the fraud people are hunting her down while her last husband is looking for her too and as I understand it is very crazy too. There is nothing better than the perfect plan for attention and destruction to make you feel better.
@@Moonstruck212 hope I did not give the wrong impression. I don't hate anyone nor am I bitter about anything from my past that happened to me. I put myself in that position as I was stupid. It's just, I tried to help her manytimes and got sand throw in my face everytime I tried. No, I am not responsible for other people's madness nor will I help them out either. If you want to be happy, you be happy with you. Help out people that can be helped and forget about the crazies. If you are nice, kind, loving, fathful, supportive, and compationate. If you don't get back what you gave then get out is the rule of the house. No favours received none given. Who has a problem with that?
@@Moonstruck212 I understand it is hard but you need to stand up for youself and not be taken advantage of. I was there too. It takes time but you will find the right person in time just like I did and you won't think about that past, it's gone. If anything it made me a better partner to my lady. Now thing are great, way better then I could have imagined. You can look forward to that and not think about that fool narcissist who is a waist of everyone's time. Let fools be fools. Shake of the dust and go forward leave trouble behind.
This is my favorite Vaknin video. It is exquisitely painful to experience because it is so precisely accurate. A brilliant performance and analysis by him. Bravo!
Gee. I need to listen to this on replay day and night. Hearing Dr. Vaknin’s words suddenly gave me a sense of serenity as I watch my significant other running away from our home to confirm that he can ‘live without me” before he moves out. Who are these people?!!
Very well put, mr. Vaknin. Thank you. By the way, not only men act like this, i know some women that act accordingly. Disgusting. But, great thanks to you 🙏💪☘!
That sums everything up perfectly. Thank you for all your work. Glad I went no contact! Now I have to figure out how to never do it again. Just ordered your book.
So true Sam. If I would have known the real rules from the start and not the fake rules I was told I wouldn't have married and had three children with her that she could teach her evil to { covert style narc }.
And don't forget to factor the genetic load on cluster disorders! I don't envy your lot, dang. Hopefully you keep learning and can teach those kids how to manage whatever behavior patters show up, if they do.
@@brianc5186 I handed him my debit card one day and told him to get GrubHub. Then a few months later I saw that he was taking out $20 here and then $20 and then $40, and then when he realized I wasn’t catching on, then $50 etc..And when I caught him he looked me straight in the eye with those big brown eyes and told me “You’re my soulmate, I would never steal from you. You’re my best friend.” And since he worked in cyber security he came up with this huge long explanation of how someone else could have done this. He gaslighted me into a fog. It took me about a week for me to realize that yes it really was him that stole the money. I broke up with him. I think he does white-collar crime. He’s absolutely brilliant, kind of on the autistic spectrum, and that’s just what he does. Now I’ve realized that he somehow acquired my Facebook password and has been spying on me. From what I’ve learned on this channel, he’s A covert narcissist and a primary psychopath. And yet he was always so sweet to me, he treated me like a princess. The incongruence is mind bending.
That sucks. Well, it sounds like you learned a lot about what to avoid in the future. I also learned a bunch about narcissism with my most recent relationship. Lesson better learned now instead of later. I'm not sure what a sweet beta man is, but good luck fetching one up.
@@lisamichaels4516 Right, you're his "soulmate" and "best friend" so he just justified to himself, stealing your money so that he could look you in the eyes and lie to your face without you suspecting anything. It's not necessairily stealing if he's your soulmate and best friend. How can you get any closer to a person than to be their soulmate AND best friend. Like, literally, besties 💕and twinsies💕. There's no theft. You are one, lol. This is how they "think". Gotta Love those subtle hints they throw at us. Master manipulators. Good for you for catching on eventually. There are thieves who get away with this for years, like my two cousin's accountant who stole thousands upon thousands over the course of several years before they finally woke up and fired her.
Love the format Easy words anyone can understand. Well said. Perfectly explained how they behave and the hurt they keep doing and doing to others. Length maybe too long for a TH-cam video. But very interesting 😊❤
I was told he runs all information he hears through his reasoning because of his intelligence. He thought he knew better than my son's psychologist who has worked with Autistic children for 15 years. He got aggravated that I took her advice over his.
Thus I should have paid attention to someone announcing that they have been married at least 7 times before and they were never at fault, a history of manipulating money, entitlement of their personal belongings, promises dangled like carrots only to be taken away if you don't behave and do as your told, oh and it's ok for them to cheat that's all your fault also, if you come home to find them in bed with another
@@susanoneplus9056 👍yeah, codependency is a significant factor in my opinion as well. Boundaries are an issue. I knew i was, but I didnt understand, i mean really understand what the word meant, what it looked like, behaved like, AND how pathological it is!! As blind to it as the narc is to their behaviour. This one video by Richard Grannon - codependence vs narcissim changed everything for me. One of the only major differences for me (cause I'm also bipolar), is my intentions have no malice and I help people and give instead of take. I'm very charming and unconsciously manipulative to meet my needs. I prefer persuasive to manipulative, but same idea.
It really is amazing the way in which the narcissist makes you feel. The risks she took on behalf of the shared fantasy. The taboo is what makes it exciting and erotic. Keeping the secret is the most important thing, and that is what you will do anything for. It's what we share. But alas, you're just my playmate.
Hi, Sam ... question: is it possible that narcissist leaves with: I feel lile I am torturing you and I feel bad when I do that, so I am leaving? Does this mean that person is not narcissist, although the relationship went through all phases of narcissistic abuse? Or this is just well thought tactic to leave? Thank you ...
Sam, I know a man who has become honest about his issues. He seeks therapy for narcissistic behavior. He’s open about this. I keep safe distance. In your professional opinion given the right therapy, is it likely he will find a way out? He asks my views and opinions, invites them. Agreed with nearly all of it. However I’m not inclined to think one gets out of this.
Checkout a channel called borderlinenotes. BPD and pathological narc stuff overlap a bunch I think, and can make a difference in prognosis. In fact one doctor claimed that both disorders present in 1% to 2% of general population in the states, AND that 25% of either disoder have the other disorder as comorbid! There are some videos I feel can help answer that question on the channel Borderline Notes, and also the channel The Little Shaman, she knows her stuff imo, isnt obviously biased, bitter or resentful, as well easy to understand such complex thing. As far as I understand things, there is no "way out" with NPD per se. People can't change their personality very easily right? I'm me, your you etc. I suspect "getting better" just looks like a less extreme version. I'm not close to being strong enough and having solid boundaries to be helpful to someone like this unfortunately, as much as I wish I was, cause there is real pain and a real person behind some of the masks. Some are just antisocial (new word for sociopath) and bask in the pain they cause others. But it would take a very emotionally healthy and stable person to not be sucked back in during any episode of remission, if that makes sense?
Thanks Sam I'm leaving this as a secret code for my ex on my social media I know it's still communicating my love and dedication in my own passive agressive borderline kind of way.
These types, more often than not, can be found in the BDSM lifestyle. Sadism and masochism ... I studied it many years ago, and was shocked to see so many men that looked for a 'slave'. I was shocked more so of how many 'submissive/slave' girls play the game. They usually are girls who are very damaged that allow men like this to control them, willingly... 🤯
Problem is they don’t know they were controlled. They thought they were in love. And willing to tolerate and sustain the fantasy. It’s painful to leave, so choose to stay. Even left, still painful.
Uh yea let’s not kink shame folks. Bdsm is a consensual affair. The only bdsm is safe, sane, and consensual. If those three things aren’t present it’s not bdsm. Please do everyone a favor and only speak on things you actually understand when trying to demonize a community. 🖤
before you blow the cover off of the narcissist and simply 'realize' what you've fallen for all these years. There is a reason that you are attracted to them, you are just as much at fault as they are, they are looking for someone just like you. You are trying to fix a parent-child relationship that WAS NOT RIGHT! More emotionally healthy ppl spot it! I'm like you, I get sucked into these ppl. Study the narcissist disorder and you'll see yourself and someone in your childhood life who cause you this wounding. Everyone has narcissistic BS in themselves....it comes down to being honest with yourself and admitting your own need for God daily.
Love this comment. I, too, fall for narcissistic men. I was raised by my mother who is an older woman with a baby fantasy. She is the baby and everyone must acquiesce to her needs. Today is her birthday and my codependent sister shared a video of her wearing two braids and stating that her home attendant washed her from head to toe and said my mom is her baby. It’s really funny when you take the childhood trauma out of it.
Some narcism is found in everyone. All kids have a very narcistic phase. But as they mature they usually get over it. If not, they will never get over it for the rest of their live. Like if you are grown up: you can't learn a new mother language anymore.
@@Raggandrist wow u seem like a narc urself projecting on me, calling me narc 4 saying d truth that most narcs r men not girls? Go, heal instead of labeling some1 a narc based on 1 goddamned comment. Stop projection. The main comment itself is condescending.
@@ПОЧИНЮКУКУХУ Keep speculating, then. My reality & identity is not based on ur speculations & false accusations. He can have baseless opinions & I can't put facts? Sharing a fact is NOT abuse. U can't control me. U r not superior 2 me. U shaming truth speaker cz ur illusions & ego fear d truth. That's exactly what a narc does.
There comes a time where there are no more players, they are left playing solitaire, old, miserable and lonely
Ha ha no doubt
Without a doubt 💯
Or, sell their properties, buy a classic convertible, move in with eldest daughter's family, and then, with their basic daily needs met, and money in the bank, go cruisin' for supply!
So?
Is that idea softens your heart and calms the mind ?
No human should never be left alone, miserable and lonely.
They will always find the playmates, as there are so many desperate women there, willing to be loved. At 70s can hook 60s, or 50s, at 80s can hook 70s.
And with this I basically end watching videos on this topic; nothing else needs to be seen and known from now on. Thank you prof. Vaknin for insights provided and immense real knowledge on this topic. Time to start focusing for real on myself and stop questioning why this and why that.
@Ralu Wow! You took the words right out of my head. I've been watching all sorts of videos about Narcissists for a little over a year now, and this particular one from Sam has finally allowed me to close the door and look no further for explanations or closure. Today the pain ends and the awareness begins. I am satisfied with all that I've learned about this subject now. I accept what he is and what he did to me, mentally and emotionally. Today I can finally walk away and into a brand new day.😌🧘🏽♀️📿
I'm wondering why I think i still love him. But I am also still reeling as though I'd been hit by a baseball bat in the head..and beaten on my heart.
This video describes So Well ,so much of what I experienced in my relationship, too! The parts, though that were not mentioned were the religious sides..when he would use the Bible to make himself authority.
You will all come back. Narcissistic abuse is hard to get rid of. Even long after the relationship has ended it still lingers...
@pf You think so? His territory is limitèd
@@cdns1192 you will all come back to watch Sam Vaknin videos to try understand your narcissist.... but you will never be able to understand him/her.. so you will keep watching these videos.
“If you refuse to play my game exactly how and exactly when I want it, precisely, if you make any demands whatsoever or modificaitons, if you tinker, if you suggest, if you give advice, if you try to help, whatever, I walk.”
Wow.
This is so very, very scary. Please take stock of it. This is very real. Don't let them hurt you! Stay guarded. This is your life, and you only have one. Protect it from these people. They are very damaged people.
I have the strangest feeling watching this...The music, the way this man moves through the world, your voice and words...It has truly captured the essence of the bubble they live in. So selfish , cruel and delusional yet eerily blissful. The emotional immaturity is painfully obvious.
Well done!
🎯
So sinister, so mean, so cruel, so distorted and utterly a sad existence
How do people fall in love with such personalities ? I just don't get it
Is the mask too good so they fall into their trap ?
@@littlelily4 lovebombing
@@littlelily4 I can speak from my own experience...I believe it has alot to do with our own unhealed parts from our traumatic childhoods..they cause us to sometimes be drawn to narcissistic type people and, likewise, we make perfect victims for them, too:(
@@littlelily4 They have no core personality, so when they love bomb you, they also unconsiously copies your personality in the lovebombing phase, making you feel self love for the first time through them.
This mostly works towards people with bad childhoods, bad family and as a result thereof no selvworth or selflove.
@@rebeccapolanco I sadly agree. What chance did I have being the daughter of a Narcissistic father who had no boundaries? Learned how to be near perfect narcissistic supply to survive. Went no contact with current narc and now I need to get the interjects out of my head and not be codependent again. Ever.
It is so sad to accept the truth of what it’s like to live with these individuals. For anyone out there who is questioning what the hell is going on, this dramatization tells it like it is. I lived it for 40 years. The shared fantasy can be so amazing, but there’s always that sense that something is off. And the hall of mirrors they create keeps you in their control. Hard to believe you are actually married to a robot who is hollow inside. Yeah, it hurts like hell to know they never loved you ... yet you still loved them even more thinking it would save them from themselves.
@@susanoneplus9056 in my experience this isn't acurate, most things fall on a continuum, including brain disorders especially. Some do feel empathy to some degree, and feel love. It might not be as rich and textured as most understand love to be, but it's still connected to powerful emotions. Not knowing what to do with those thoughts and feelings definitely. Let the nightmare begin! I would agree though that it can be helpful to see it black and white to protect some from falling victim to hope.
Yes it’s a nightmare. They take advantage of our love and passion for life. They are parasites that feed off our life energy.
@@lidiyas7153
For me 32 years. It’s not a fault to have love and empathy in your heart. It is the fault of a predator who takes advantage of a beautiful heart. Many blessings to you keep educating yourself about narcissism it’s the only thing that helps until you develop enough self love to permanently walk away !
And you even stop loving, but still feel sorry for him. It's even worse than his death, because you realise that he hadn't even been born.
@@lidiyas7153 I supported my narc in every way possible. She hadn’t worked for 32 years. She didn’t take care of the house or very good care of our four children now adults. I would come home to a dirty house and hungry kids. What was she doing during the time she had alone ? Hmmm ! She belonged to three different dating sites. Being with a narc is like stepping in Pooh everyday. Yeah you know it’s out thief but we manage to step in it again, day after day.
Sentence often used :"I just want to live a simple and happy life" Meaning I will do whatever pleases me and when it pleases me, you are not suppose to question my decisions and actions because I'll turn into monster and kill you with words, then I'll ignore you for some time, spice it up with some love & romance again until you say the wrong word... My weapon is always ready and anything can be a trigger.
I feel for every single person going through this because I'm picking up pieces of myself right now, hoping I'll regain strength and return to be my true self again...😔
We all will. Hang in there.
@@Me-bd9iz Thank you. All the best.
@@susanoneplus9056 Thank you for the encouragement. . I'm doing my best to do exactly what you said.
The Truth!!
@@Me-bd9iz for howlong?
For so many times my narc husband told me that he never loved me, ever...it broke my heart and couldn't believe him until recently, after 12 years in marriage, that finally am so convinced he was being honest now that I realized he was incapable of loving...thanks to his abusive behaviours that finally I could tell him to his face that I no longer love him, my love died when he allowed me to miscarry our 9-week unborn second child with so much neglect and abandonment...it was the turning point that opened my eyes how evil his treatment to me being pregnant and had to look after my daughter who was only 3 years old back then...how could he not put himself second and that unborn child first? Now I know why and am getting ready for the separation as he told me he would leave since I show no interest in playing his dirty game. May God keep my daughter and I safe 'til he's out of our lives.
"I'm going to make you walk on eggshells in the kitchen", almost made me go into a CPTSD episode it was so true.
5
5
6... I think!.. :-)
8 !
So true
Hi, mom.
I will watch this every time I waiver in my decision to go no-contact.
Happy Sunday Prof Vaknin
they are “dysfunctional”, it’s all a game, play it or leave it. Thank you Prof Vaknin.
Leave it, and good riddance.
as narc prey/supply you are required to be part of a mutual psychosis in the narc's psychotic reality...
This video is a masterpiece...
Pretty much says it all…how sad for the narcissist who fools himself into living and believing a lie and for his playmate who thought she could love him enough to change his outlook on life. It doesn’t work. I know. 🥺😥
Brilliant Disney-esque video! Loved it - the dysfunctional eternal inner child that is the narcissist. Just wants to play with their toys...
And person that has. A healthy mind and emotional state~ would run!!! But not a person that has had childhood trauma, subconsciously we know all that. It’s oddly comfortable…. K, I’ll give it a shot with you!!🤔🙄 we have.to take responsibility for our dysfunction too. This was very hard let in, but needed! Thanks!
This is extremely accurate and cutting, revealing. It is an amazing synthesis.
"When it's over you will cry like the rest of them" her words.
Omg that's scary. She's bleeding on people who never cut her.
@P F Did you cry, or are you still in it
@@rhondawatts2578 no I didn't. I had figured her out. She ended it on the day before meeting my parents. Like Sam says... they don't want anything serious. It's all one big game.
@@Makewayproduction Good for you 🙂
So creepy
These characteristics of a narcissist can and will drain the essence of one's spirit and soul....it is absolutely necessary to be cautious in protecting your boundaries and space..
Run!
A Toddler in a grownup body! Never grown up and won’t ! Why should he? Thanks to the codependent, learned helplessness victim will do it all for him. Sobering. We all need help
It´s like a dream come true. Animaniacs and Dr. Vaknin in the same video xD ! Thank you for your work!
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get in another relationship. I seem to attract these types. I’m really working on this about myself
Dido here. Raised by Narcs, and later surrounded by Narcs. Therapy & support groups really help with co-dependency.
Me too! I’m really sick of it 😣
@@simpletruths5322 I agree; knowledge is power as narcissists seem to be attracted to certain people who were raised by narcissists as well. I think therapy would also help being that it is cathartic and gives one tools on recognizing the genesis and avoiding the behavior.
@@cyndijohnson5473 totally agree! There are red flags early on in the ‘relationship’. I believe we all meet unhealthy people, but what separates those of us who stay compared to those who don’t requires insight into yourself . I had to take that deep, painful dive. Still working through it 🙂
I like the astronaut hahah . They are literally on a different planet !
Eventually it makes you literally sick
My ex is doing this to a 31 year old woman who suffers from severe anxiety disorder. Everything you just described is exactly how he thinks and perceives himself. There is no regard for her. I tried to warn her but she doesn’t believe. I know exactly what he is going to do to her because he has told me.
I made the mistake of telling my Xnarc " You can't break me !" He has tried breaking me in everyway.
I'm 7 months No Contact at all... This week he sealed off my chimney and I almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning 🤔😡
Almost the perfect murder!
Don't play the game !
It will cost you to Play ,
maybe even your life .
Excellent video Professor Sam!!
Can you charge him?
Please report this! And be boring to him from now on. It’s not worth it!
Jesus is coming for all such creeps.
Prayer ,the only way out.
Lesson is to pray more and let Him handle it all.
Oh my god!!!
Best description I've heard so far. It is simple, and clear, and describes my friend perfectly.
THIS VIDDEO DESERVES A BIJILLION LIKES!!!!!! IF I WAS A MILLIONAIRE I WOULD PUT THIS VIDEO IN A TV COMMERCIAL, ALL OVER THE WORLD FOR EVERYONE TO SEE. I WOULD PAY SO IT WOULD REMAIN SHOWING UP ON YOUR TV OR ADS ON YOU TUBE OR ANY SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORK FOR MANY TYEARS AHEAD AS this video could be categorized as a life saving video. THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO IN THE HISTORY OF YOU TUBE. EXEL-ENT! THANK YOU PROFESSOR! You truly are what a professor should be. I am truly humbled.
Thank you Dr. Vaknin for your insight into all the narrow corners of existence
your wonderful work and videos like these attributes me with the twisted sense of humour of looking back at all the shittiest relationships in my life with an unusual fat smile, life goes on
Thank you for this video.I will take it as a daily remembrance.Even with many times of abandonement I see a PERSON in front of me.You always say "there's no one!!!!!!"
This video shows very clear what it means.... but even more how it FEELS on my side.
There's an astronaut packed in a suite which not allows any real touch with my world or me !This visible astronaut in your video is perfect to use another 'sense' .
This is pure perfection in a concise bubble of the narcissists world.Sam you are the best.People of the net ,you need no more !
accurate. Such torment and anguish..
Wow!! So True! You are just the best! When I started to push him to commit after 3 yrs of living together he would get a lot of anxiety and anger. We finally ended rekationship. It was hard at the beginning, but we deserve respect and true love! You are just so precise, Sam❤ ❤
Wow. She said most of this to me but I was already caught in her spell. Glad I can look back now and laugh about it.
Glad for you, lucky escape, best wishes.
I also just escaped such a "friend"!
Beautiful. The most moving piece in this house of mirrors that I have ever heard. Bravo. And Thank you.
Let them play alone 😂
I’ve been following you for years, but this video is the one that caused me to finally subscribe to your channel. I can definitely relate, thank you 😊👍
Had a good laugh with this one.
Yes this is the crazy narcissist world. I parted from my narcissist 17 years ago. She is still running around like a crazed animal looking for the right one. Married six weeks and off again. Living with a man she said she hates but has nowhere else to go. No friends, won't talk to her own children, tries to move in with me again and again many times but no joy there either for her. Now the fraud people are hunting her down while her last husband is looking for her too and as I understand it is very crazy too.
There is nothing better than the perfect plan for attention and destruction to make you feel better.
@@Moonstruck212 hope I did not give the wrong impression.
I don't hate anyone nor am I bitter about anything from my past that happened to me. I put myself in that position as I was stupid.
It's just, I tried to help her manytimes and got sand throw in my face everytime I tried.
No, I am not responsible for other people's madness nor will I help them out either.
If you want to be happy, you be happy with you. Help out people that can be helped and forget about the crazies.
If you are nice, kind, loving, fathful, supportive, and compationate.
If you don't get back what you gave then get out is the rule of the house.
No favours received none given.
Who has a problem with that?
@@Moonstruck212 I understand it is hard but you need to stand up for youself and not be taken advantage of. I was there too. It takes time but you will find the right person in time just like I did and you won't think about that past, it's gone.
If anything it made me a better partner to my lady. Now thing are great, way better then I could have imagined. You can look forward to that and not think about that fool narcissist who is a waist of everyone's time. Let fools be fools.
Shake of the dust and go forward leave trouble behind.
So much if today’s self help encourages people to discard people who do not conform to their realities. It is not so different.
This is so true to reality it gave me a headache listening to it
let them play solo.....
This is my favorite Vaknin video. It is exquisitely painful to experience because it is so precisely accurate. A brilliant performance and analysis by him. Bravo!
Ugh love this. .... so spot on!!!!! thank you!
Gee. I need to listen to this on replay day and night. Hearing Dr. Vaknin’s words suddenly gave me a sense of serenity as I watch my significant other running away from our home to confirm that he can ‘live without me” before he moves out. Who are these people?!!
There is no one there as Sam Vaknin said they are avatar.
Very well put, mr. Vaknin. Thank you.
By the way, not only men act like this, i know some women that act accordingly. Disgusting.
But, great thanks to you 🙏💪☘!
That sums everything up perfectly. Thank you for all your work. Glad I went no contact! Now I have to figure out how to never do it again. Just ordered your book.
Fascinating insight. Spectacular.
And probably the most entertaining thing seen today. Thank you, Dr. Prof. Vaknin.
More, please.
This is so good! Thank you Dr Sam!!
This is likely my favorite TH-cam video on real subjects of all time
So true Sam. If I would have known the real rules from the start and not the fake rules I was told I wouldn't have married and had three children with her that she could teach her evil to { covert style narc }.
And don't forget to factor the genetic load on cluster disorders! I don't envy your lot, dang. Hopefully you keep learning and can teach those kids how to manage whatever behavior patters show up, if they do.
THE BEST VIDEO.
It's like loving a puppy. Hilarious video😂
Sure, if the puppy is rabid . . .
Your so right,my husband came back and said yes you have won,a game to him,2 years later he died,couldn't find any more toys
Amazing blunt cruel truth about Narcissist: The Robot Object GOD of ,,objects-toys"!
Well put, Mr. Sam!!!
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Thank you, professor. 🙏
Wow. Thank you!
You described my Mother to a tee - just perfect!!
'' no deal if you play hot and cold ''? what about bpd/npd explosive dynamic being the perfect and unbreakable relationship engine for both of them?
That was perfect 👌
Woooow marvelous!!!
Ha...I'm going to find a sweet beta man. Oh no....I tried that and he turned out to be a covert narc who stole money from me.
You have to hide them dollars better.
@@brianc5186 I handed him my debit card one day and told him to get GrubHub. Then a few months later I saw that he was taking out $20 here and then $20 and then $40, and then when he realized I wasn’t catching on, then $50 etc..And when I caught him he looked me straight in the eye with those big brown eyes and told me “You’re my soulmate, I would never steal from you. You’re my best friend.”
And since he worked in cyber security he came up with this huge long explanation of how someone else could have done this. He gaslighted me into a fog. It took me about a week for me to realize that yes it really was him that stole the money. I broke up with him.
I think he does white-collar crime. He’s absolutely brilliant, kind of on the autistic spectrum, and that’s just what he does. Now I’ve realized that he somehow acquired my Facebook password and has been spying on me. From what I’ve learned on this channel, he’s A covert narcissist and a primary psychopath.
And yet he was always so sweet to me, he treated me like a princess. The incongruence is mind bending.
That sucks. Well, it sounds like you learned a lot about what to avoid in the future. I also learned a bunch about narcissism with my most recent relationship. Lesson better learned now instead of later. I'm not sure what a sweet beta man is, but good luck fetching one up.
@@lisamichaels4516 Right, you're his "soulmate" and "best friend" so he just justified to himself, stealing your money so that he could look you in the eyes and lie to your face without you suspecting anything. It's not necessairily stealing if he's your soulmate and best friend. How can you get any closer to a person than to be their soulmate AND best friend. Like, literally, besties 💕and twinsies💕. There's no theft. You are one, lol. This is how they "think". Gotta Love those subtle hints they throw at us. Master manipulators.
Good for you for catching on eventually.
There are thieves who get away with this for years, like my two cousin's accountant who stole thousands upon thousands over the course of several years before they finally woke up and fired her.
Love the format Easy words anyone can understand. Well said. Perfectly explained how they behave and the hurt they keep doing and doing to others.
Length maybe too long for a TH-cam video. But very interesting 😊❤
I was told he runs all information he hears through his reasoning because of his intelligence. He thought he knew better than my son's psychologist who has worked with Autistic children for 15 years. He got aggravated that I took her advice over his.
Im wondering if my ex narz learned this video. Sounds exactly like him! 💯
Brilliant
😂good one doc!
Gosh...😵...thanks Prof.
I get ....Just Be A Happy 👧
Thus I should have paid attention to someone announcing that they have been married at least 7 times before and they were never at fault, a history of manipulating money, entitlement of their personal belongings, promises dangled like carrots only to be taken away if you don't behave and do as your told, oh and it's ok for them to cheat that's all your fault also, if you come home to find them in bed with another
"It works for both of us". WRONG.
@@susanoneplus9056 👍yeah, codependency is a significant factor in my opinion as well. Boundaries are an issue. I knew i was, but I didnt understand, i mean really understand what the word meant, what it looked like, behaved like, AND how pathological it is!! As blind to it as the narc is to their behaviour. This one video by Richard Grannon - codependence vs narcissim changed everything for me. One of the only major differences for me (cause I'm also bipolar), is my intentions have no malice and I help people and give instead of take. I'm very charming and unconsciously manipulative to meet my needs. I prefer persuasive to manipulative, but same idea.
It really is amazing the way in which the narcissist makes you feel. The risks she took on behalf of the shared fantasy. The taboo is what makes it exciting and erotic. Keeping the secret is the most important thing, and that is what you will do anything for. It's what we share. But alas, you're just my playmate.
Hi, Sam ... question: is it possible that narcissist leaves with: I feel lile I am torturing you and I feel bad when I do that, so I am leaving? Does this mean that person is not narcissist, although the relationship went through all phases of narcissistic abuse? Or this is just well thought tactic to leave? Thank you ...
instagram.com/p/CLBn_ZYDQ6k/
@@samvaknin Thank you, Sam ... thank you ...
Sam, I know a man who has become honest about his issues. He seeks therapy for narcissistic behavior. He’s open about this. I keep safe distance.
In your professional opinion given the right therapy, is it likely he will find a way out? He asks my views and opinions, invites them. Agreed with nearly all of it. However I’m not inclined to think one gets out of this.
Checkout a channel called borderlinenotes. BPD and pathological narc stuff overlap a bunch I think, and can make a difference in prognosis. In fact one doctor claimed that both disorders present in 1% to 2% of general population in the states, AND that 25% of either disoder have the other disorder as comorbid! There are some videos I feel can help answer that question on the channel Borderline Notes, and also the channel The Little Shaman, she knows her stuff imo, isnt obviously biased, bitter or resentful, as well easy to understand such complex thing. As far as I understand things, there is no "way out" with NPD per se. People can't change their personality very easily right? I'm me, your you etc. I suspect "getting better" just looks like a less extreme version. I'm not close to being strong enough and having solid boundaries to be helpful to someone like this unfortunately, as much as I wish I was, cause there is real pain and a real person behind some of the masks. Some are just antisocial (new word for sociopath) and bask in the pain they cause others. But it would take a very emotionally healthy and stable person to not be sucked back in during any episode of remission, if that makes sense?
I love it!
Thank you
Thanks Sam I'm leaving this as a secret code for my ex on my social media I know it's still communicating my love and dedication in my own passive agressive borderline kind of way.
These types, more often than not, can be found in the BDSM lifestyle. Sadism and masochism ... I studied it many years ago, and was shocked to see so many men that looked for a 'slave'. I was shocked more so of how many 'submissive/slave' girls play the game. They usually are girls who are very damaged that allow men like this to control them, willingly... 🤯
Problem is they don’t know they were controlled. They thought they were in love. And willing to tolerate and sustain the fantasy. It’s painful to leave, so choose to stay. Even left, still painful.
Uh yea let’s not kink shame folks. Bdsm is a consensual affair. The only bdsm is safe, sane, and consensual. If those three things aren’t present it’s not bdsm. Please do everyone a favor and only speak on things you actually understand when trying to demonize a community. 🖤
good one for your Instagram, Sam 👍🏽
before you blow the cover off of the narcissist and simply 'realize' what you've fallen for all these years. There is a reason that you are attracted to them, you are just as much at fault as they are, they are looking for someone just like you. You are trying to fix a parent-child relationship that WAS NOT RIGHT! More emotionally healthy ppl spot it! I'm like you, I get sucked into these ppl. Study the narcissist disorder and you'll see yourself and someone in your childhood life who cause you this wounding. Everyone has narcissistic BS in themselves....it comes down to being honest with yourself and admitting your own need for God daily.
Love this comment. I, too, fall for narcissistic men. I was raised by my mother who is an older woman with a baby fantasy. She is the baby and everyone must acquiesce to her needs. Today is her birthday and my codependent sister shared a video of her wearing two braids and stating that her home attendant washed her from head to toe and said my mom is her baby. It’s really funny when you take the childhood trauma out of it.
The megalomania described seems to be descriptive of bipolars as well. Is there a high degree of comorbidity between bipolar and narcissism?
I see some of these in myself 😮.
Others I show say the same. What’s the fix?
Some narcism is found in everyone. All kids have a very narcistic phase. But as they mature they usually get over it. If not, they will never get over it for the rest of their live. Like if you are grown up: you can't learn a new mother language anymore.
👏👏… slow clap…👏👏
That’s my ex in London
Very nice🦄
Organic porthole, soulless being, No character player, automaton...this thing is boring
Good morning. They try to be honest
this is real
Sounds like some of the princesses i've know.
In fact, starting to see a pattern here...anyone else?
Lol It's mostly mama's boys narcs & way lesser princesses as is confirmed by not only Sam but many others. Go on a reality check, Mr. Mgtow. Huh
@@karoline8524 why have you replied in such a condescending manner.
You look like a bad narc at this point.
I agree with you @mgtow goose
@@Raggandrist wow u seem like a narc urself projecting on me, calling me narc 4 saying d truth that most narcs r men not girls? Go, heal instead of labeling some1 a narc based on 1 goddamned comment. Stop projection. The main comment itself is condescending.
@@ПОЧИНЮКУКУХУ Keep speculating, then. My reality & identity is not based on ur speculations & false accusations. He can have baseless opinions & I can't put facts? Sharing a fact is NOT abuse. U can't control me. U r not superior 2 me. U shaming truth speaker cz ur illusions & ego fear d truth. That's exactly what a narc does.
@@randomerjourney5861 Thank you :)
*An ode to All narsacists*😅!
The Narcissist is NOTHING ! Zero ! Big Pig ! kkkkkkkkkk
😂
W o w