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My visual hallucination that's only happened 3 times had me feeling like that but also terrified at the same time with a physical feeling of heaviness in my chest with a feeling of true hopelessness and an unreal color to the environment that was otherworldly. It sounds so crazy actually typing it out on here but I thought it may help that others with schizoaffective disorder have experienced things like you have. It certainly helps me to hear about your experience. 52 yrs old and diagnosed with this for 2 years now. Keep up this channel cuz you're amazing and so intelligent. I was once premed and had to quit school too

I’m so sorry for you. I totally and completely get it. I have hypomania as well as severe depression and mixed episodes. I don’t know if I’ve ever spoke as quickly as you are speaking, but you would have to ask friends and family members to be sure but I know what it feels like just a couple days ago. I literally felt like done three lines of cocaine or something, and I felt it on my insides. It felt like my insides were just gonna burst, I was just gonna burst open because I was so high but I don’t. I actually hate the feeling so that’s where I’m a little different as I actually hate that feeling. I think I usually get a little bit more energy before like you did there’s a little warning sign that’s coming on. That does feel good. I’m more productive and then I go into this drugged feeling but I got lucky yesterday or a couple days ago and it only lasted like a day, and then I take during these episodes. I take extra Valium so that I calm down. I know take a little bit and if that doesn’t work and a couple hours, I take a little bit more until it kind of pulls me down to a point where I’m calmer and it’s not as severe that way, and it really helps me get through the high but like you I dread the low because it’s so debilitating you’re so depleted of energy and I get that part too, so frustrating to live this way up and down up and down and the low is so low that you just can’t do anything. You’re so exhausted out like brushing your teeth feels like too much so I live like that most of the time unfortunately and then I get a high and I get a few things done and then not nearly enough, but then I go back to the low, so sorry you’re having to deal with this Nuro feedback is really helpful for me. I use lens LENS feedback and that has been really helpful. I didn’t. I don’t necessarily recommend any other type of Nuro feedback because the lens reads your brain waves in real time and gives it back to your brain and brain knows how to self correctso that has been the biggest help for me because I couldn’t tolerate. It made me a zombie on like a quarter of a starting dose like I’m so sensitive to medication so anyway thanks for sharing your hypomania. It’s really nice to see that. I’m so sorry for you but it’s nice to see that I’m not alone. Thanks for sharing.

I must say thank you. I think making that stigma known is the best way to lessen it and help others get help. Thank you for standing out. Peace and Unity!

I also have good voices when I don’t hear them I miss them and sometimes feel lonely without them. I’m experiencing atm actually. Sometimes for me it can feel like a loss and fear. 😊 I enjoy your content

The scariest one I experienced was seeing hearing and FEELING MY BODY BEING TORTURED 😢

Did you disclose your mental illness to HR/your boss? I have bipolar, adhd and ocd.. and after a year break after burnout I'm starting a 30 hour/week job and I feel like it's still too stigmatized to talk about it...

I know how this feels, you stay strong girl

I've always known I think differently to other people, though I never understood why I think the way I do until I watched your video. Thank you

❤❤❤

What your describing is so much suffering, have you talked with your psychiatrist about trying a different antipsychotics medication. You are very courageous and sharing your story is helping a lot of people. There must be more medications you can try until you Find one that works.

Have you tried lithium orotate it has been very helpful for me

Lordy this is EXACTLY like me too lol when I have an episode

Your so sexy

You are so courageous and doing a great job explaining your symptoms. But, please know you are not going to die in three years, We humans cannot predict when we will die. It’s important that your healthy side say this, “I’m not going to die in three years” and then distract yourself so that fake voice does not have a platform to repeat this lie. I’m a retired clinical psychologist, I hope this gives you some peace from the fake voice.

Hi Kit, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m a psychologist and have a client with schizoaffective disorder. This is really helping me to understand their experiences and you channel is really helping them too. May I ask if you have thought getting a specially trained dog who can alert you before your episodes begin. Might give you a bit more time to get home, plus you have a companion who can protect you and inform others (by info stored in their collar). I hope it was OK for me to ask you.

Are these voices like different personalities or different parts of yourself?

Yes, my creativity is dulled by my meds ☹️

You just provide the buttress to my desperate defense not to take this drug. Napoleon had some great commanders as well. Thanks Again!

For me, Mania parallels a methamphetamines or speed high big time. Almost so much I have taken my meds improperly to intentionally manipulate myself into a hypomanic episode.

Do you sleep? I have the worst of worst mental illness, depression, anxiety, depersonalisation and lastly, Sporadic Fatal Insomnia SFI, I can not sleep AT ALL. I only sleep by getting knocked out at night by 4 different tablets.

Hi can you share what did you major on and what meds are keeping you stable

I have a question. What if during psychotic episode you were to listen white noise through headphones? What would that do to the voices?

same but ii have trauma i dont talk about /:

I had a LOS on my first night in the ER when I was very suicidal. Then went to a psych ward for a week and got on medication for MDD and PTSD

I can relate to this so much!

I have recently been diagnosed schizo affective bipolar I'm also on zyprexa but it's lybalvi combination

i am on 3000 mg a day of levetiracetam for seizures and i am going to add 25 mg to the mix daily of lamotrigine and increase the dose says the doctor, my moods are not the best if i was a pit bull i would be a problem and need a muzzle and harness how ever those who know are used to it and if they want something looking after or protecting i am a good bet 😂 So my question is i am going to end up like a mindless zombie or will i stay sharp but without the want to fight the whole world

Psychosis's does not need to have hallucinations. It just needs to have a loss of rationality and sanity. The first signs of psychosis are generally stereotypic behaviour, developing bizarre desires, irritability, unwillingness to do anything which requires thinking, doing things which break your habits and routines (e.g. going to a new location), etc..

i get this from being in an elevator

thank you for making videos, after watching a ton of them i think i need to get checked out😮‍💨

Please don't take this the wrong way, the comment is meant in the best possible context. I am glad that you are putting a face onto your disorder to remove the stigma. I think your beauty helps ppl understand that your condition is not about some "wild eyed freak" to be feared! Keep on sharing sister! Well done

Thank you for answering this question. I also work full time at a law office. Some days are extremely hard for me as I’m extremely paranoid and constantly believe I hear whispering. Sometimes idk if the whisperings are real or my hallucinations. Either way, I get so paranoid that the whispering are about me. I also can’t have people walking behind me because of my paranoia. I have always worked full time but I’m noticing that as I’m getting older sadly my mental health is declining. Today I was basically rocking back and forth in my cubicle so the damn whispering could stop and I was constantly feeling people behind me. I’m finding it harder and harder to function at work 😢 do you have any advice?

I had a psychiatrist do the exact same thing years ago! I felt betrayed and abandoned and I hadn't even been seeing him very long. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Okay most importantly we need to see the guinea pigs

Cover charge for madness?

I work full time too! I live a pretty normal life with schizophrenia

This is terrible! Doctors that I had it, but I had a psychedelic secret. Kodybeld twist: it's ADHD and autism. I repressed my stupid family like a psycho. So If anything paranoid or schizotypal personality. The drug experiment helped that, but now I got some reality type of this from the bad acid. I hope you feel better though. Mental disorders suck!

I have hearing hallucinations sometimes too, but its usually just different voices calling my name or saying things like "hey" i kust dont pay them any mind

thank you for your channel

To me it’s not the gift it’s the effort to get the gift that makes it special. Very cool of you

Wow great job! I wish I could work. Way to go!!!

I don’t get treatment and I don’t use meds. I work up to 60 hours a week. It’s possible.

I went to university in the mid-1990's. Disabled student services was mostly used to helping people with ADHD. They didn't know how to help bipolar people at my school back then. I tried to attend college three times and ended up dropping out. I have never been completely stabilized on medication either. I have been hospitalized 40+ times even though I only stopped taking my medicine once. The medicine helps me halfways which is better than nothing. It makes me really sad that I didn't finish college but I guess that it wasn't meant to be. I was a very good student in highschool. I had an exceptional memory as well. My IQ dropped 30 points from age 9 to age 31. Sometimes life doesn't go as planned and it has to be accepted. Try your hardest first though.

I was prescribed lamictal for anxiety, with Elvanse for my ADHD, but after reading about the Steven-Johnson syndrome at the prospect, or the Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis (HLH) by the Internet, makes me think that my, already high anxiety, mixed with hypochondria (the Internet should censor forums about medicines 😂😂) will kill me of a heart attack before having any symptoms (oh dear! 😂😂). Seriously, I don’t know if start with the half pill and think that any mosquito bites are a starting symptoms of Steven-Johnson, or just have valerian and passiflora 😅.

Great job kit! I had a time where i didnt work, i worked part time earlier on, and now im going back to the tri cities(home)and ill be working full time, getting married, and staying on my medicine for the wife. Fortunately my meds are much cheaper today after going off my medicine for 15 years that i can afford to live on my own and take care of my wife. So ive been all 3.

It imho also depends on the type of work and size of the company. The hardest thing I had to accept was that after the first psychosis (2000) I was not able to do the (security) work I used to do, eg: stress/ppl, and I couldn't handle big corporate structure and culture anymore. So I switched to IT and right now been working as a webmanager for years at a small family owned company with almost no issues.

And a boss who helps when you're having a hard time and maybe need some time of sometimes.

Glad you can work full time! I'm a part timer myself. I have comorbid conditions, so full time isn't right for me. That said, it gives me plenty of time for my hobbies. So aside from the episodes, I'm alright. Hang in there love! Glad things are looking up for you! 👍🔥❤️

You are inspiring me! Thank you for sharing this, I think it is really important to talk about. It can be very difficult to navigate work environments, expectations, and social dynamics while working. Also asking for accomodations can be risky depending on what you struggle with and where you work. Between my back issues, and ADHD affecting my ability to get anywhere on time, and the sensory processing issues (sounds), I get overwhelmed and only work 2 days a week. I also have major depression and anxiety but have been managing that much better with change of medication about a year or 2 ago. So I don't have the highs and lows of cycling bipolar. But I do have one side of that equation so I have the world of empathy for you! And luckily I don't have hallucinations. And I know how what I do have can be disabling. It affects my ability to do my job. You have those plus the hallucinations. So to me, that is amazing. Thank you for sharing this with us! Can I ask, could you do videos explaining what it is like for you working with what you have, and if you have to ask for accomodations? I have had some negative experiences, even though I am older and it was a different time, people weren't open minded about mental health. They didn't care, they just wanted the position filled. And if you had a problem that was your problem. That was if you could even disclaim your condition to anyone, without putting your job at risk. It also puts (still, I think, they just show it less) relationships and your reputation with coworkers and boss/ work in jeopardy. You are the "other". Sorry rambling (I can't not do that, sorry)... But I guess what I would like to know, if that isn't too personal: ( you already share so much, soi don't mean to ask somany questions, sorry. It's up to you if you want to share anything). - how is your relationships with coworkers or your boss? - is it safe to disclose to anyone or management your condition, without judgement or discrimination? - have you been able to ask for accomodations for any needs you might have? And if so how did that work out for you? (Thank you for putting up with my long comment/ questions. Even today, 25 years after I have been diagnosed with my mental health conditions, it is tricky. And I am tired of worrying about it. So hearing other people's experiences now, and how they deal with work and managing not only their symptoms and getting their needs met so they can do the job, but also navigate the sometimes unseen work politics, of what will cause discrimination, judgement, or disregard and expect that to be your job to manage) What has your experiences been like in that aspect of life? Thank you, sorry if I'm not always good at figuring how to articulate what I want to ask. :) ☺️💖

God bless u, or Skibidi bless u if ur atheistic